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Down And Out In Rio: What To Expect At The World Cup

Tyler Durden's picture


Submitted by Douglas Herman (AlexCojones) via Strike The Root blog,

“Most people go on holiday to escape. They pick a far away destination in the assumption that the further away they are from home, the more rewarding and freeing the trip will be.” ~ Matthew Dawn

Sticker shock. Expect to pay a lot. Hellishly hot in the summer and shockingly less sexy than advertised.
But the city and local people, called Cariocas, are clean and the crime is greatly exaggerated. The Cidade Marvilhosa, or Marvelous City, is a must-see for spendy types, budget travelers and even bucket listers.

Spendy in every way possible, especially during the summer months of December, January and February and certainly during World Cup. Rio de Janeiro is one of the most expensive cities in the world, experiencing a real estate bubble. I lived there recently for 100 days and sampled Airbnb quarters, hostels, hillside camping and a small, furnished apartment. Certainly a feast for the eyes, wherever you go, as this photo of Friday evening in Ipanema shows.

Long ago a movie director shot an amazing film atop one of those hillsides, right there in nearby Copacabana. The movie won an Oscar. Few Cariocas I talked to ever heard of the film (“Black Orpheus”), but I explored the foundations of the movie set high upon Morro da Babilonia. Well worth the hike, on an early Sunday morning to see the sun rise over the ocean. The sun rises across the mouth of the bay, just like it did in the movie. And the joys and sorrows portrayed in the movie are exactly the same, but magnified many times over.

Oh the Places You’ll Go in Rio

The Marvelous City is amazing in many ways. But if you look closely, you see the same old corruption and thuggery, the same painful poverty and injustice, that plague many states. The beaches, the warm ocean breezes, the pretty girls in their bikinis distract the onlooker, tourist and native alike.

One moment you catch a glimpse of a pair of beautiful girls from Ipanema and, not 20 feet away, a pair of heavily armed Policia Militar guarding the sunseekers from groups of predators swift, daring and opportunistic.

The police are hired from the same class of people as those they guard. Brazilians are approachable and know exactly what is going on, but seem uncertain how to change things. Does that remind you of any other country?

The marauding thieves that struck the beaches simply mirrored the behavior of their leaders. But street thieves suffer far more severe punishment if caught. While I lived there in Rio, the beaches of Copacabana and Ipanema witnessed wilding events usually seen here during Black Friday or the introduction of a new Air Jordan. The mayor and governor of Rio simply hired more cops.

One hundred fifty demonstrators recently made major news when they demonstrated in Sao Paulo—a transportation strike. The media didn’t add that more than 12 million people live in Sao Paulo. On any given night, more than 1,500 prostitutes show up to ply their wares in the Red Light district. When 15,000 or 150,000 or 15 million angry and determined people show up in force, things might change.

Brazil is like a sub-tropical USA. Filled with dispossessed, with the few wealthy elites protected by armed Policia Militar and easily-bribed local police, Brazil still retains a sort of modern, banana republic feel. Just like here in the USA.

Did I feel safe there? Probably I felt safer walking around in the slums of Rio than walking around in Chicago. I walked around alone at night in many central Rio neighborhoods, one old and slow gringo, and rarely saw a cop. The cops are stationed in Zona Sul, where the rich people live, and where bribes are openly paid.

Tropical Fever

Imagine flying into Rio from some northern city enduring a bout of polar vortex. Late December or January, you catch a plane from Boston, New York or Buffalo in below zero temperature. You get off the plane in Rio. Outside on the curb, awaiting a taxi, with the heat and humidity, you realize there might be a hundred degree difference.

Now imagine a room without air conditioning. I slept in the largest 16-bed dorm of Rio Nature because the windows were large and the overhead fans whirled continuously. The same day that polar vortex arrived over New England, I remember taking eight cold showers in a 24-hour period. Each lasted no more than a minute, but the cool water felt heavenly.

Surrounded by wilderness, flowering trees, birds and small animals, Rio Nature had a rustic charm. Like a forgotten hillside hippie haven in Botafogo. Beds rented for R$28 per night, or around US$13, and included a continental breakfast and more monkeys than people attending breakfast on the veranda. The monkeys preferred sliced bananas, FYI.

Live Like A Refugee

According to Elliot Rosenberg, you can rent a nice place for a month in a hillside favela for the price of a single night in nearby Ipanema. Elliot makes a good pitch in his “7 Reasons to Live in a Favela.” The largest and most picturesque shantytowns in Rio, Rochinha or Vidigal, with sweeping seaside views, might be a good choice for those on a budget. Live in a small studio and immerse into the Carioca culture for a month or three.

Few gringos visited Rio while I was there. I met a handful of Americans in 100 days. The World Cup will be broadcast to billions worldwide. The world will see a slice of life, in between the incessant ads, of Brazil and Brazilians.

But What About Those Brazilian Prostitutes?

Brazilian prostitutes, called programas, frequent the bars and brothels of Copacabana and Ipanema as well as Central Rio. Probably the best known is the Balcony Bar in Copacabana. On warm weekend nights during the summer months of December, January and February, the bar is an ever-shifting fashion show of sensual styles. A wide variety of gringos from many nations peruse and choose, and World Cup will be no different.

Mostly older guys but some younger fellows, wide-eyed with the trepidation only the sexual hunt can cause. Hard to call them hunter and hunted. More exact to call everyone here prey, all of us hungry for a peculiar desire or needful thing that consumes everyone if not careful. Naturally the police were always nearby to protect and serve the commerce. Prices in the summer of 2014 at the Balcony? Between 250 and 300 Reals. One US dollar exchanged for 2.35 Brazilian Real while I lived in Rio recently. So 235 Reals equals US$100, more or less. The plural of Real is Reis, pronounced “hey-ice” but I prefer to use Reals here although not really correct.

According to reporter Julie Ruvolo, Rio’s multitude of sex establishments all stay open at the discretion of the government. All of them pay a price, or bribe, to officials to remain open. “We all know that certain police officials get a handsome chunk of change from the high-end termas (sauna) as silent partners,” says sex researcher Thaddeus Blanchette. “At the Monte Carlo brothel, they went in at the precise moment that a local top official was there, presumably to pick up the cash.”

Combination massage parlor, steam bath, bar and brothel, the Monte Carlo occupies a couple floors in a nondescript building adjacent to the Oceano Copacabana Hotel on Hilario de Gouveia. Lots of glass and polished stone inside the club. Alessandra the receptionist speaks fluent English. Costs 90 Reals to enter, or about US$40. Girls start at 200 Reals for 40 minutes or 400 for an hour. About US$175 US for an hour, which seemed kind of spendy for fleeting pleasure, but the price would be even higher during World Cup.

According to a woman I spoke with, who worked there for many months, the girls gets to keep all the money they earn. No pimps but girls are fined 200 Reals if they miss a shift. A massage costs 70-80 Reals and doesn’t include sex. I asked Alessandra if the masseuse provided sex upon request and was told no. I didn’t stick around to find out because Copacabana beach beckoned two blocks away.

Red Light Green Light

One evening a friend took me to a red light area, far from the trendy beaches. We caught a bus and then walked through some foreboding streets few gringos ever see. The “City of Girls” is located along Sotero dos Reis, and the street resembled a movie set for Road Warrior IV. Yet we were only a mile or two from historic Maracana Stadium, home to the World Cup.

Seriously: What do Brazilian girls want? The same as any girl. Amor, felicidade, respeito, amizade, carinhosa, caricias, sexo, paixao, e dinheiro. Love, happiness, respect, friendship, caring, caresses, sex, passion and money.

Unless you chose to live in Brazil and invest your body and soul in the place, perhaps as an English language professor, you will probably end up paying for your pleasure. Sometimes your fantasies are fulfilled but you will always, one way or the other, pay a steep price.

Rio Very Real

Rio is very expensive now. Times have changed. Brazil is part of the emerging BRICS nations. Gas is about $4 a gallon and a new car costs about twice what a similar model would in America. The new Ducati 1200 CC motorcycle here is priced at 105,000 Reis, or US$45,000. Stateside MSRP on that same Ducati is less than 15 grand.

The simplest things here, from bottles of sunscreen to lawn chairs to tickets to major events like the World Cup, cost more than back home, wherever that is. A lot of that money filters down through the fingers of the ultra rich and powerful, and trickles down to those below. Just like here.

People in Rio and Brazil are the same as anywhere. They want the same things. Happiness, diversion, laughter, distraction, the so-called good things in life. A slightly larger piece of the pie. The World Cup is just a showcase and a distraction.

Bread and circus on a grander scale.


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Wed, 06/11/2014 - 22:35 | 4847231 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Gotta have some pigment for that hot sun...No wonder the Spanish settled there and not the Brits.  You gotta have the Mediterranean thing going or its melanoma heaven.

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 22:45 | 4847261 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

I think it was the Portugese. "Gas is about $4 a gallon and a new car costs about twice what a similar model would in America. "

That's because the Socialist solution is to tax "lux.
Only the very wealthy can afford a car everyone else gets a scooter.

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 22:52 | 4847278 y3maxx
y3maxx's picture

...Clusterf*ck Black Swan event gonna happen in Brazil.

One of the stadiums gonna get blowed up good....starts WW3

Brics vs G7 vs USSA vs Russia vs China

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:15 | 4847346 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Here's how your particular Govts taxes affects the price you pay for the same car, some people are paying 2-3 times more than others. It seems the more socialist the higher the taxes.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 02:31 | 4847601 shouldvekilledthem
shouldvekilledthem's picture

One can only hope, y3maxx.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 09:55 | 4848186 JRobby
JRobby's picture

Think about your day. The day before you so full of opportunity.

Then take your thorazine. 

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 22:46 | 4847265 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

I would certainly not mind darkening my blood line there though. Some mighty attractive women there. 

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:39 | 4847392 Eeyores Enigma
Eeyores Enigma's picture

Just watch out for those hot babes with the 6" to 9" clitoris.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 02:20 | 4847594 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

will michele be visiting?

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:44 | 4847399 MeMongo
MeMongo's picture

Hey yid/ Mongo means Nid !Whighten up my brother, the tribe deplores it! 

Ps.Norwegian girls can not be beat!

You're welcome!

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 01:46 | 4847556 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Apparently some of you think I'm white...

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 05:26 | 4847699 maneco
maneco's picture

The Spanish did not settle in Brazil.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 05:33 | 4847701 barre-de-rire
barre-de-rire's picture

not spanish settles, but  potugese, mother fucking dumbass american.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 09:44 | 4848123 Grinder74
Grinder74's picture

Typical blonde.  It was the Portugese, not the Spanish.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 10:17 | 4848279 Portuguese Revo...
Portuguese Revolutionary's picture

Oh LORD!!!! Does anyone know how to write "PORTUGUESE"?? Damn...

If in doubt look it up in a dictionary for cricke's sake!

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:33 | 4848904 Milestones
Milestones's picture

Author could have improved his story mightly, if he'd spell the country correctly. It BraSil, not the mercan BraZil. That is how the Brasilian currency is spelled. Just check out a um real (pronounced He-ay) which I carry in my wallet.

You will get corrected by the natives.             Milestones

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 22:37 | 4847240 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I'd end up in jail there in less than a week.

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 22:48 | 4847268 A Lunatic
A Lunatic's picture

Agreed. Full of whiskey, bullet holes, aids virus and good memories........

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 01:56 | 4847567 One of We
One of We's picture

Indeed!  Discretion is the better part of valor is the saying I think.  Plus I can get a good rub and tug here in the states for $100 including a nice tip....

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 22:37 | 4847241 user2011
user2011's picture

More robberies,  rape, prostitutions... drunk and batteries...

That's all.


Wed, 06/11/2014 - 22:49 | 4847275 Hopium Dealer
Hopium Dealer's picture

"Hellishly hot in the summer"


Bro, do you even hemisphere?

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:36 | 4847387 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

Where I live it's colder in the winter

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 22:59 | 4847300 Karaio
Karaio's picture

Rio de Janeiro and Salvador are areas of contention gringos, people who come from outside the country.
Not Brazilians go there to spend the holidays so expensive things are. Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!
Everything is more expensive in the beach anywhere in the world, if you are four kilometers away, things lower two thirds.
100 on the boardwalk, costs 30 away, it serves for drinks or food.
It's another culture.
The most beautiful girls are in Goiania, may believe, my third marriage was to one, and now there goes 23 years of marriage.

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:12 | 4847330 johnconnor
johnconnor's picture

you definitely know what you are talking about... I agree with everything you said, I have been in Brazil a few times. Most people are super nice, Rio is absolutely gorgeous but Brazil in general is not safe, better to move around with locals for sure. It also amazed me how expensive was everything because of the Taxes and VAT, for example a Playstation was like double to America's price, a digital camera 3 times more... cars at least twice, but salaries were not that high.

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:57 | 4847420 Karaio
Karaio's picture

My dear friend, on July 4, 2014 at 05:00 am I will be leaving Anapolis-GO with a 250cc Yamaha Ténéré.
Eight o'clock in the morning I'll be in Catalan GO-, eleven-thirty in Uberaba three-thirty in Santa Rita do Passa Quatro, SP, six ten-minute afternoon will be in Santos-SP.
Are traversed 1200 km in 13 hours, you do not do it in a third world country.
It will be my third trip.
I'll tell you one thing, there is the crisis of fifty years.
When I turned fifty years I was not sure if arranged a mistress of 29 years and bought a motorcycle.
The motorcycle is cheaper, you save the marriage and gets a lot of women, believe me.
Ningém see, you are far, far away from home, traveling ... Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 00:42 | 4847504 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

So hopefully the wife kept a good body on her for most of those 23 years lol.  But I guess with the bevy of beach beauties you can always get another mamasita.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 05:24 | 4847696 maneco
maneco's picture

The U.S. is not that safe either. I never heard of school mass shootings, cinema mass shootings, terrosrist attacks, marathon bombings ETC in Brazil. Oh the other thing Brazilians don't do is assassinate their presidents. I'd say Brazil is not any worse if even better than the U.S. in terms of safety.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 06:17 | 4847734 Dudeskis
Dudeskis's picture

Annecdotal examples.  Data says that Brazil is 4.5x more dangerous if you're talking about homicide.


Brazil murder rate: 21.8

US murder rate: 4.8

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:12 | 4847331 johnconnor
johnconnor's picture


Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:00 | 4847303 Rollingroller
Rollingroller's picture

After Olympics in 2016 Brazil will start its decent and the hangover will kick in and the economy starts its puking process.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 23:14 | 4851409 Northern Lights
Northern Lights's picture

Agreed.  Generally, it's been observed that the economy of a country that hosts a large event such as the World Cup sees a 2.5 % up-tick, however, by years end that 2.5% falls back down to -4.0%.

Hard to read into that $14 billion dollar number announced to hold this thing.  How much of that is fact and how much of that is pumped up bullshit????????

After the Olympics, it would be interesting to see what all those stadiums look like 10 years from now.  I'm figuring they'll be stripped down of all anemities right down to the concrete and the soccer pitch and the stands will be turned into a shanty town.


Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:06 | 4847319 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

I bet Simon Black knew all of this stuff already.

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:06 | 4847322 pelican
pelican's picture

The question is will social security support me there?

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:36 | 4847355 AntiFabian
AntiFabian's picture

First the author missed the fact that it is not summer in Brazil, hello! They are below the equator and the cities of Rio and Sao Paulo are just barely in the tropics.  Tonight the will have a low around 59 and in the day a high of 75 not hot unless you are from Sweden or Finland.  However in the far north where the Amazon river runs it will be lows of the upper 60s low 70s and highs of the lower 80s with higher humidity since it is sub tropical and jungle environment.

As for the capital it is late fall weather for them and if you look at some of the pics from the riots the members of the crowd have light jackets so more like Southern CA. 

So I don't put much stock in this article especially the author's comparisons of it being like the US in terms of social strife.

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:29 | 4847367 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture
Helicopter Hunting for Humans - 2014 World Cup - Brazil

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:31 | 4847374 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture
This is NOT your average dash cam footage

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 00:26 | 4847480 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

did i miss something ?     or did i just waste 2 minutes of my day watching a low-flying helo do...nothing 

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 00:51 | 4847512 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

above a nice HD helicopter tour

And even better a blast to the old Rio with Roberto Carlos

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 09:22 | 4848058 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

Yea, you missed something.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 09:38 | 4848102 toxic8
toxic8's picture

how'd you miss the part where it sprays the guy just off the highway with bullets.

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:30 | 4847369 Karaio
Karaio's picture

One thing I do not understand is invading Brazil, Russia invade, invade China, this insane thing inculcated through the U.S. euopeia mercantilist culture.
Part or another of Economy yes, the people, the people do not.
Hell of political correctness is not in any of these countries.
Here and there smoke is not a bad thing because everyone knows that they will die one way or another, sex is a normal thing, kids too.
Hitting the children when they shit is normal because if parents do not match, they will pick up the police or thugs will turn.
Admittedly, it is best that you take some blows on his son when little better that than when he catches big.
Children have to learn to work with 14 years maximum, but turns villain.
So I created, so I created my children who are now finishing college of Civil Engineering.
The eldest is living with a newly formed Advocacy to seven years, the youngest is getting married in December, the four employees and highly paid.
They are children from my second marriage (the only ones I've had in three marriages).
Since I already separated, living 400 miles away, my ex-wife called the phone saying that the younger was getting involved with strangers.
Twelve hours of travel, I found them, took a restaurant, was fourteen other fifteen, the guy said: look, if you get into shit with drugs I'll kill you, he (the younger) laughed in my face .
Showed backpack with SW loaded two boxes of ammunition and he was white as a straw (here in Brazil only has possession of a firearm if police or dealer).
At the time I was the environmental police.
Well, best not to extend the conversation, it's getting long.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 00:02 | 4847429 deflator
deflator's picture

code is something not everyone understands. I was able to easily decipher your message. +1

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 00:16 | 4847456 Karaio
Karaio's picture

One thing I want to make clear here:
I am Brazilian.
My last name on his father is Polish (Teledzynski) and, through his mother Schacherl.
A Brazilian like me is not wanting to know if turned upside barbecue or not in Europe, they fuck them.
I am Brazilian and only!
If a Polish or Austrian meddle with me, may believe, will lead because lead was in the land where I was born, it was here that my ancestors decided to manage me.
Having a name is important, who knows where it comes really knows where it will (in most cases will not be bandit).
You immigrant Americans know very well what I'm going to tell:
My uncle Austrian wanted to catch a ship to fight for Hitler, my grandfather pitched automatic pistol at his head and said: "if it is to die, I'll kill you here, I want to see his coffin in Brazil."
Ended the conversation.
My uncle Max Schachrerl was a great shipbuilder.
Maximilian Schacherl, my grandfather built several boats for the government.
I think you've had too much beer ....

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 08:27 | 4847903 fiftybagger
fiftybagger's picture

I believe you, which certainly confirms the worst of my suspicions.  I think I'll take a pass on Brazil :-)

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:39 | 4847391 merchantratereview
merchantratereview's picture

No thanks.


Nice try but it sounds like another shithole.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 00:02 | 4847431 Aussiekiwi
Aussiekiwi's picture

Yeah, spread it on pretty thick, no mention of the fact that you will probably end up at the end of your night of pleasure minus your wallet and with hepatitis, AIDS or if your lucky just antibiotic resistant clap, not to mention those prices tripling for the world cup. Better to go to  Auckland, $160 NZ an hour all inclusive top class girls, safe, clean too,.....hur, hump, so I hear.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 06:11 | 4847733 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

or minus your kidneys.

Besides, you can get much better looking and much better deals on girls in Colombia.    Central america is better, if you are on a tight budget.

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:57 | 4847415 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

This is one of the few times when cable TV is worth it.

Edit: I forgot that it's on CBC which is free to air or OTA in TV talk. Even the Stanley Cup is OTA on CBC. Why AM I paying for cable?

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 01:01 | 4847522 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture


Thu, 06/12/2014 - 01:18 | 4847542 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

I'm more of a Robert O'Carlos.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 02:07 | 4847580 Wait What
Wait What's picture

also, if you don't give a crap about soccer and feel 'obrigato' to learn about how the Brazilian justice system works, you can just go to youtube:

"Tropa de Elite" (2007) directed by Jose Padilha

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 02:48 | 4847619 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Thanks will check it out, I did like City of God

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:57 | 4847419 Beard of Zeus
Beard of Zeus's picture

A far cry from the Michael Caine movie 'Blame It On Rio,' it would seem.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 00:01 | 4847430 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

There has to be some rich women in Rio to scam. Dirty Rotten Scoundrel

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 07:07 | 4847778 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

"Ripeness is all". 

Wed, 06/11/2014 - 23:58 | 4847424 10mm
10mm's picture

Ill save my hard on for a chick with ass and a little belly.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 00:24 | 4847473 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

i wouldn't touch any of it with a ten foot pole

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 01:02 | 4847524 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

The young ladies there won't touch you either if you look like that LOL ;)

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 01:07 | 4847530 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

everyone wants a little mutant in them. lulz

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 02:50 | 4847622 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Its cool as long as you got a membership to the millionaires' club you will have a nice looking lady hook up with you anytime no matter the looks.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:06 | 4847777 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

This is a picture of how the inside of my brain feels like, everytime I see another propaganda piece touting the 'achievements' of hilary rodman.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 00:33 | 4847492 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Well I'd love to "go down" on those hot Women, but not if they've had 5 guys in the past 24 hours.

Think I'll stay at home and watch it on the T.V.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 01:04 | 4847528 Karaio
Karaio's picture

I, as a Brazilian, I love to read in the press that Brazilians spent U.S. $.
Signal that brought something tangible or learned how another culture.
Unfortunately ruble or renminbi as yet is not accepted law. The real is back! (Brazil's currency).
Started there! Manes!
About plant soybeans, corn, sugar provides, has water, not spent on wars, will be next.
The great advantage of Brazil in the Americas is that we do not kill all the Indians.
The Spaniards also did not do it.
These Indians are taking the land back.
Basically, each of which is born.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 02:53 | 4847626 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Neither did we, but we dont still keep killing them like your ranchers do in the Amazon ;)

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 14:09 | 4849446 Milestones
Milestones's picture

BraZilian?? But your currency says BraSil--Banco Do BraSil. You can't spell the name of your country!!  My, my.        Milestones

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 01:59 | 4847571 alexcojones
alexcojones's picture


Dude: The Summer months in Brazil, (Verao) are December, January, February.  Damn HOT.

June, July and August are Brazil's winter (Inverno), milder but still warm. Perfect Futebol (soccer) weather. Go Brazil.

AC not PC

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 06:30 | 4847575 russwinter
russwinter's picture

Between 2008-2011 when it was affordable, I spent a total of 18 months in Brazil, mostly in Rio's Zona Sul. It was a super-positive experience, and a lot of fun. Brazilians are some of the friendliest and fun people you will ever meet.  I think they generally interact well with the American personality,  especially at the opposite sex level. They are a very young population and there are no people that I pull for more. Boa sorte, meus amigos e amigas, eu te adoro. 

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 02:38 | 4847607 pachanguero
pachanguero's picture

Seriously: What do Brazilian girls want? The same as any girl. Amor, felicidade, respeito, amizade, carinhosa, caricias, sexo, paixao, e dinheiro. Love, happiness, respect, friendship, caring, caresses, sex, passion and money.

LOL...grasshopper Girls world wide only care about gold/money. It's in their DNA Wake me up for meals.
Thu, 06/12/2014 - 02:52 | 4847625 DeusHedge
DeusHedge's picture

i wish i was a cracker.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 03:19 | 4847642 My Days Are Get...
My Days Are Getting Fewer's picture

The author is not completely wrong, but fails to give a foreigner a good perspective about Brazil.
I have been going to Brazil several times a year for more than a decade.
Brazilians are one big family.  We are outsiders.  You can accomplish little in Brazil without family connections.
Someone has a cousin, who has friend, who can help you with your problem - that is how Brazil works.

Consumer goods are ridiculously overpriced.  My luggage was lost in April - I went to a mall in Sao Paulo and paid more than double for replacement clothes of similar quality.
Locally manufactured cars cost triple US prices and have many defects.  Everyone buys everything on credit - like a poor person might buy shoes on 24 installment payments.

University-educated Brazilians are meticulous in the execution of paperwork.  There is security everywhere, especially in office buildings.  There is the Brazilian way of doing things.  For example, in business meetings, everyone is very polite - bad behavior results in the other party packing up and walking out.

I like Brazil a lot.  The people are friendly.  The climate now - seasons are flipped - is very nice - with Brazil about to go into winter.  If you want to experience the real Brazil, go to Manaus and then head out into the Amazon.  The best time is during the dry season from November through January.  You need a local person to guide you.  And, like in all places, finding a trustworthy English-speaking guide is not easy.  Spanish and Italian speakers should be able communicate without much difficulty.  Otherwise, absent a basic knowledge of Brazilian Portuguese, you will have a hard slog.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 06:14 | 4847736 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Good insights in Brazil, unlike the author of the article who probably romantizes life with the Cariocas.  Given the chance, they will rob you blind.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 07:04 | 4847775 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

Sounds like the United States governors, the FED, Lord Blankfein, Jamie, Larry, Gary, Jack, Ben, J Yell on a more personal level.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 05:13 | 4847691 maneco
maneco's picture

The word for prostitutes in Brazil is not "programa". Programa basically means a session with the prostitute. The formal term for prostitute in Portuguese is prostituta and the slang word is piranha like the deadly tropical fish.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 06:15 | 4847738 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Exactly right with the slang....or so I hear, LOL>

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 05:36 | 4847705 barre-de-rire
barre-de-rire's picture

what i love with americans, you think knowing everything but 95% of you dont know where to place france & ukraine on a fucking map & now 1st comment says "  spanish settles instead of uk...


omfg take history book, unplug internet & tv fat  dumbz, brasil is portugese colony, they do not speak spanish, they speak portugese...


olalalalalala you so lame !

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 06:17 | 4847739 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

What would you expect from a country where more people believe that Elvis is still alive than can find Ukraine or Brazil on a map?

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 07:00 | 4847770 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

It's not that important to know where anything is on the globe unless you happen to want to navigate there.  The  95% figure is likely a gross exaggeration, but if you believe it then you are as dumb as you accuse others of being. 

If I unplug the internet, I can't read your rant. 

The Spanish/Portugese confusion thing is true of many, I'd grant you that.  But either one or the other languages is a corrupted version of the other, for they are too similar to be as different as German is from Kanji.

Lame?  Probably.


Thu, 06/12/2014 - 07:37 | 4847801 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Ok I know it was me lol.  Yes I was speaking more of South America in general, I did know Brazil was Portugese, read a translated version of Gabriela Cinnamon and Clove by Jorge D'Amato back in college.  But nevertheless Latin peoples Portugese or Spanish.  Both peoples with a good infusion of Germanic Blood ever since the Goths settled in Spain and Portugal and mixed in with the Celts and the heavy Roman presence.  Which also given the German immigration a little later in Brazil may explain some of the cultural traits someone mentioned, the college educated govt sector being immaculate in their paperwork, and the behaviour in the office meetings.  I stand corrected though more of a slip of the tongue.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 09:50 | 4848157 AurorusBorealus
AurorusBorealus's picture

Most of the Germans are here, where I live, in Argentina.  Brazil speaks Portugese; the other latin countries, Spanish.  Brazil, culturally, is different in many ways than other Latin countries, but there are some similarities.  It would take me some time to explain what differences I have observed in the Portugese-Brazilian Latin culture vs. the Spanish Latin culture vs. the neo-European, Spanish Latin culture of Argentina.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 07:32 | 4847796 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

Sounds like another socialist, liberal paradise.

Think Detroit.....with a beach.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 07:54 | 4847829 gmak
gmak's picture

It's fall going into winter in Brazil right now. It's below the equator. Not quite hellishlly hot.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 08:15 | 4847864 Duude
Duude's picture

The Equator runs through northern Brazil. Rio De Janeiro is 1579 miles from the equator. Los Angeles is 4720 miles from the equator. What that means is Rio doesn't change in temperature nearly as much as Los Angeles. Its expected to be about 80 degrees this week in Rio De Janeiro. But that's not what makes it unpleasant. Its the fricken humidity. Its also 83% humidity this week in Rio which makes it a very uncomfortable 80 degrees.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 08:07 | 4847854 Duude
Duude's picture

What to expect in Brazil? High prices, nice tans, big butts and if you're a tourist and decide to drive around and explore outside the city, Federal police putting up roadblocks only to stick a gun in your face and robbing you for everything you have. Brazilian police aren't the only ones that will rob you blind, but they will leave a bad taste in your mouth and you'll swear to never return to Rio De Janeiro. Tourists? Stick to the touristy beaches and event sites where they'll still rob you, but won't use a gun.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 08:38 | 4847934 fiftybagger
fiftybagger's picture

Interesting culture.  Jesuits good at what they do no?  Murika 'bout to soon discover yes?

Silver For The People

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 08:39 | 4847935 youngman
youngman's picture

Rio is a place you stop the first trip down to take your mandatory photos....after that its just a stopover to where you really want to go....if you speak the language..the smaller towns up north are much better...and south even...the big cities suck...Brazilians complain about corruption...but they are all corrupt....everyone cheats if they can...and stealing is a way of life....but they do have great music..and some good food....and the women are very sensual and very pretty..its all about the Bikini line...and they love gringos there..especially Ben Franklin...I would never want to be there for a big event though....never..its crowded on a normal day

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 08:48 | 4847961 d edwards
d edwards's picture

Re: the hookers-gives "girl from Ipanema" a whole new slant.


I don't think this is what Stan Getz and Astrid Gilberto were talking (singing?) about! :-D

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 09:45 | 4848134 AurorusBorealus
AurorusBorealus's picture

This is correct.  They all complain about corruption, but most of them are corrupt.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 09:03 | 4848003 chistletoe
chistletoe's picture

Zero Hedge is going full retard ... in Rio its winter right now ....

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 09:04 | 4848008 alexcojones
alexcojones's picture

Google Garota da Programa and what do you see? Scort Rio.

Programa is the polite term for working girl.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 09:08 | 4848023 Rodders75
Rodders75's picture

"Help" was the finest night club in Rio until it closed 10 years ago. Alas.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 09:12 | 4848034 esum
esum's picture

not safe at all, this article is candy coated horseshit... dont wear a wristwatch, ring or carry a wallet... they will cut off your finger for the ring and slit your throat for the watch... friend of mine son was murdered for his scooter... they will even warn you in the hotels.. 

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 09:41 | 4848110 toxic8
toxic8's picture

Cidade de Deus

City of God


excellent movie set in Rio

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 13:43 | 4849272 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

"Clean" street whores, Brazil is one giant STD mosh pit


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