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Will John Boehner Be Brought To Tears? Find Out With This Conference Webcast

Tyler Durden's picture


If there was ever a time to bring out the waterworks again, this is it. No really: as Politico reports, "Cantor’s private speech drove Boehner to tears." And now is a perfect opportunity to whip out the tears once more, this time for public consumption.


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Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:40 | 4848645 bardot63
bardot63's picture

Tammy Fae Boehner strikes again!

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:41 | 4848648 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Man, I can't wait until this cocksucker Boehner goes down.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:42 | 4848656 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

My power!  My beautiful power!  Aaaaaaaagh!

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:47 | 4848678 Four chan
Four chan's picture

boner is a tan vagina.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:49 | 4848688 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Well, he has every good reason to be weeping now.

None of them can honestly feel satisfied with their performance or secure in their positions.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:27 | 4848726 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Depends on how many cocktails he's had at brunch

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:34 | 4848906 quasimodo
quasimodo's picture

There may be some truth to that. His levels of estrogen seem much higher than most men, perhaps this is what leads to all the tears and the need to tan to feel sexy, or perhaps he is having his "monthly".


Thu, 06/12/2014 - 13:40 | 4849254 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Well, he cries a hellava lot more than I do so I'm not sure what that says about his estrogen. But Mr brands me a fiery, stubborn,spirited tomboyish A-hole sometimes so it may be it just me. ;-)


Thu, 06/12/2014 - 14:14 | 4849476 daveO
daveO's picture

A crying drunk, probably.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 14:26 | 4849530 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

You'll be contacted shortly by the Vagina Union lawyers for defamation.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:48 | 4848679 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

All that will be left is a pool of orange goo and a crumpled Benson & Hedges carton.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:48 | 4848682 SMG
SMG's picture

Hats off to whoever gave boehner the title "The Weeping Cheetoh". Spot on.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 13:20 | 4849158 earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

Same dude that just gave HC the title of "magnificent thundercunt".


When ever I need a laugh I scan the comments for the Golden Arches of McMolotov.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:05 | 4848777 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

Bitch Ass Bitch!

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:08 | 4848793 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:22 | 4848856 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

It must have been a really shitty day when I did this.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:16 | 4848821 whatsinaname
whatsinaname's picture

Lagarde and Boner would make a good pair.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:44 | 4848964 Billy Sol Estes
Billy Sol Estes's picture

that hoe is oranger than orange

hopefully working on leukimia on a tanning bed

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:40 | 4848646 Slave
Slave's picture

Who wants to watch Boner squirt some juice?

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:51 | 4848697 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

if someone is stabbing him and blood squirting everywhere.....i would love to see that.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:41 | 4848650 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

And then she asked, "Why are you crying?"

"Because he's crying", I sobbed.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:42 | 4848651 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You're next you smarmy fuck.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:45 | 4848667 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

534 more to go.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:45 | 4848658 JRobby
JRobby's picture

Get him a red suit with "Snap On" embroidered across the chest.

Fuck this worm.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:44 | 4848664 stant
stant's picture

Stay tuned more ass launching to come

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:44 | 4848666 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

And the oscar goes to...


let me be clear;  roll the motherfucking guillotines, nothing changes otherwise.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:48 | 4848683 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

so George Hamilton is giving a Press conference?

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:52 | 4848704 Pool Shark
Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:46 | 4848670 timeless21
timeless21's picture

President taking a nap, LOL

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:46 | 4848672 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

That motherfucker will be crying one way or the other before he ends his political career.

If I were him along with the other 535?...

Find the door to your office at the Rayburn Building leave unannounced and find a destination outside the United States a.s.a.p.!

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:48 | 4848685 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

I'd pay top $ to make him cry for real, not this fake pr shitt....

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:50 | 4848692 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

He's a good guy in my view. Played his cards better than I thought "blame Bergdahl" as the Eastern Front collapses.

"Patton wept when he mailed home the lock of hair of his personal aide to his aide's Mother." With a personal letter of course.

You're all such small minded fucks here.

With no heart at all.

I hope he goes Full On Third Reich here. "No questions only THE FURY" but alas losing pathetically remains the order of the day.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:52 | 4848702 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

you are either crazy or dumb as fukk...this guy is a parasite who is sucking this country dry like the rest of these career politicians...wake the fukk up!

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:58 | 4848744 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

you are either crazy or dumb as fukk...


He's obviously both.  Why would anyone in this Country after the last 20 years proudly proclaim themselves as a 'Disabled Vet'

DV Your chance at redemption...

Put a /sarc at the end your post!  If you don't you are broadcasting that you are a retired Army or Marine Corps zipper head with brain trauma that works for the TSA or DHS...

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 13:01 | 4849069 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

"you are either crazy or dumb as fukk..."

When I read his sincere dumbfuckery I realize how I miss MDB.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:59 | 4848741 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I'm sure he is a good guy.  He's just a terrible Speaker of the House and a terrible Congressman.  He's just so fucking WRONG he might as well be the Dennis Gartman of politics.  He's a typical "go along to get along" Washington DC guy and that's just not what you want to put up against an out of control Obama adminsistration.


Thu, 06/12/2014 - 13:45 | 4849281 balanced
balanced's picture

I respect your kindness there, but "I'm sure he is a good guy." might be taking it a bit too far, hah. Maybe if selling out your fellow Americans, and putting their children in harms way for your own political gain is considered being a good guy.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:51 | 4848695 The Duke of New...
The Duke of New York A No.1's picture

Bundesbank says; "We are in tears too! ... why does nobody care about us! ....... 7 years!, 7 Freaking YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:53 | 4848705 Eternal Complainer
Eternal Complainer's picture

That guy needs to try his hand at manual labor for once in his life.

If there ever is a revolution hopefully he will be shipped off to a work camp.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:54 | 4848712 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Boner you Criminal. There's no expiration date on war crimes. Cantor, you hear me. Retribution is coming your way.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:54 | 4848713 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Heaven help us. We are all doomed.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:56 | 4848725 Thermopylae
Thermopylae's picture

To: The people of the 8th District of Ohio

Congratulations! You have just won the prestigious award of being the biggest f'ing asshats in 2014.

May your sewage system fail and your peckers go limp.

From: Those outside the 8th

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:58 | 4848739 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

Behind the scenes, all these dems and repubs are best buddies.

Funny how the sheeple actually believe they have a choice.

Politics is such a fucking farce.  It's a bunch of failed drama actors that could not cut it in Hollywood.  The WWE is more believable.


Thu, 06/12/2014 - 13:49 | 4849316 balanced
balanced's picture

When I was living in Vegas, Harry Reid was quietly (though stories actually appeared on the local news) supporting his opposition, a crazy Scientologist that spoke about masterbation. They simply make sure that they have no viable opposition, and they keep getting re-elected. Democracy has been checkmated.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:58 | 4848740 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Roll out the fucking war machine quick. We need a distraction. All these mother fuckers need to go!

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 11:58 | 4848742 youngman
youngman's picture

I thought he did pretty well....the question were slanted left of course...but he slammed them right back..

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:10 | 4848797 yogibear
yogibear's picture

The Republicrat list is long

With Cantor gone, Boehner should be ousted as well.

Then there are the senators. Mitch McConnell, McCain,....

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:12 | 4848801 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

Sadly, many RINOs have already won their primaries or are running unopposed.  Thus the only choice in November will be FAR LEFT RINOs or FARTHER LEFT Democrats.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:12 | 4848804 Spungo
Spungo's picture

I always feel like I'm being real raped when this guy talks.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:24 | 4848819 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

tears are the new meme

on the radio today they played he aint heavy he me brudder the dj cryed yes cryed is that how you spell it anyway you get me fuckin drift.

tears on the msm i smell some jewish media chaps in a tavistock mind control room.

do not cry for them

they are energy vampyre

laugh at them mock them.


transgender is sickness not a god given right.

just say no you tools

no to this fuck false media emotion.

circle your wagons do not join that satanic train goin south.

unless you really want a free fema camp beheading

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 14:25 | 4849528 daveO
daveO's picture

What DJ was that? Were the tears for Cantor? Hilarious, if so.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:16 | 4848822 SystemOfaDrown
SystemOfaDrown's picture

Cry me a RIVER Boehner!

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:18 | 4848833 JR
JR's picture

Cry Baby Boehner is an American-worker buster. In fact, according to ZH blogger Walt D., Boehner would not only be a union buster, he’s a Republican-base buster because those waiting in line for amnesty are automatic Democrat voters.

Walt nails it with “amnesty has really bad effects for 99% of the people particularly African Americans and Union Workers - amnesty is Union busting."

“All Is Well,” say sympathetic Dems to the stunned, Republican left | Coach Is Right

June 11, 2014 Coach Collins

By Doug Book, editor

Concerned that DC Republicans might begin listening to voters rather than Karl Rove, an always sympathetic White House told stunned GOP leaders that “Cantor’s problem wasn’t his position on immigration reform, it was his lack of a position.” That is, Cantor wasn’t too liberal and he had not offended the conservative, Republican base with his promise of passing amnesty or his contemptuous decision to headline an April conference hosted by George Soros and organized labor. In fact if anything, the now defunct Virginia congressman had been TOO conservative! After all, hadn’t Cantor’s campaign sent out direct-mail pieces just before last night’s primary, promising that he was “stopping the Obama-Reid plan to give illegal aliens amnesty"? ...

 Of course, the new Republican nominee might want to be careful about making claims that he will be a good Republican and tell voters that he will be a dedicated conservative instead.  After all that is, in part, what helped get him the nomination; that and the fact that Eric Cantor believed it more important to satisfy the New York Times than the voters in his conservative district.  

And trust the AP to claim that Cantor’s daily promises to help John Boehner pass amnesty as hoards of illegal alien children stream across the border had nothing whatever to do with this 10 point trouncing by an unknown who had been outspent $993,000 to $76,000 during the last 7 weeks of the campaign…

The question now is which way the Republican leadership will jump after the Cantor defeat. Does John Boehner succeed in convincing Republicans that Eric Cantor’s loss was just one of those things; that amnesty must be passed because it is the “right thing to do?”

The tone deaf arrogance which prompted the GOP to assault the conservative, party base has finally come back to bite them. I’m not so sure they will learn from it.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:18 | 4848837 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

"Will John Boehner be brought to tears?"

Title Correction:  "Will John Boehner be BOUGHT to tears?"

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:21 | 4848845 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Sociopaths don't cry, they act.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:38 | 4848899 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

it was so sad that boner show above

i cryed i really did.

i started sobbing when boners little girl came out without crutches and said look daddy i can walk.

i was amazed that the news camera managed to capture the event.

but by then i was in pieces for me the show was over i just could not take it.

as i was about to change channel i heard the little girl say did i do it well mr.

please please do i have to go back in the basement again.

it seemed to me looking back on the event that it was such a strange thing for anyones daughter to have said.

but ho hum dem leaders ares funny jewish folks

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:41 | 4848935 JR
JR's picture

A banker-bought centralized government is giving America gutless and effeminate men as “leaders,” puppets for the one-world government takeover that is destroying the USA by design:

“A peevish, grudging rancor against men has been one of the most unpalatable and unjust features of second- and third-wave feminism. Men’s faults, failings and foibles have been seized on and magnified into gruesome bills of indictment. Ideologue professors at our leading universities indoctrinate impressionable undergraduates with carelessly fact-free theories alleging that gender is an arbitrary, oppressive fiction with no basis in biology…

“From my long observation, which predates the sexual revolution, this remains a serious problem afflicting Anglo-American society…

“After the next inevitable apocalypse, men will be desperately needed again.”

-- Camille Paglia Dec. 16, 2013, It’s a Man’s World, and It Always Will Be, TIME

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 14:03 | 4849381 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

that's some icon you're quoting there JR - for obvious reasons - but when one factors in Paglia's opportunist-career choice, baiting media by taking a seemingly "opposite" stance on many culturally cherished beliefs, including "feminism", while continuing to refer to herself as one, and while also taking on other labels such as "Catholic" and "Democrat" - while continuing to rage at both those institutions too,

well, let's just say that career of stirring up the familiar stereotypes has "worked" for her.

for a Yale grad student, lesbian feminist democrat (her labels) who

opposes laws against prostitution, pornography, drugs, and abortion

I'm sure she'd love that you held your nose, and chose her opinions to flesh out a post regarding effeminate "men's roles" in the world of incoming bankers wars. . .

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:38 | 4848922 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Sorry Boefinger the sheep will not tolerate another negro in the whitehouse.
Wha' da ya mean fake tan?

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:42 | 4848942 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

Obama sure lucked out to have Boner as the titular head of the opposition party.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:43 | 4848957 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Israelhole we got ourselves into here. Time to finally stop digging !!!

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:45 | 4848970 JailBanksters
JailBanksters's picture

The only way boner is going to brought to tears is if somebody tells him there's NOT going to be War in Europe. Oh Dear Gawd, the Humanity.



Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:50 | 4848997 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

Fucking orange pussy.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:53 | 4849014 Mark it Zero
Mark it Zero's picture

I think I had a beer and a shot with this guy at the bowling alley last night.  He lost his league game with a gutter ball in the 10th frame and started crying.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:56 | 4849018 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

I found Canter's speech quite offensive, he basically smiled and lied to our faces, we can expect thus jilted bitch to stab America in the back at least once more before we boot him out the door.


Thu, 06/12/2014 - 12:53 | 4849020 Last of the Mid...
Last of the Middle Class's picture

The hair on the back of my neck stands up when i see a photo of that greasy little shit. Complete and total lack of understanding of the damage he has done. He truly deserves to be tarred and featherd for all to see.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 14:10 | 4849452 Herdee
Herdee's picture

"We're Broke!!!"boo,hoo,hoo.I feel really sorry for the idiots running Washington and a series of Presidents that have destroyed the budget.Seems like a dedicted plan to wipe out the U.S. Dollar as the World's reserve currency.Biden openly says so at AirForce Bases "a new world order."

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 14:22 | 4849514 NoPantsSpongeBob
NoPantsSpongeBob's picture

He is such a sensitive guy.

Thu, 06/12/2014 - 14:26 | 4849531 Jethro
Jethro's picture

Only when it comes to Scotch. The rest is just theatrics.

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