GM Flunks Derek Zoolander School For Bailed Out Companies Who Can't Build Cars Good, Recalls All New Camaros

Tyler Durden's picture

Another week, another massive GM recall, this time the bailed out company, which clearly is unable to build cars on the "first" attempt, announcing moments ago that it is recalling all current generation Chevvy Camaros "because a driver’s knee can bump the key FOB and cause the key to inadvertently move out of the “run” position, with a corresponding reduction or loss of power." Supposedly, the issue, which may primarily affect drivers sitting close to the steering column (as opposed to?), was discovered by GM during internal testing following the ignition switch recall earlier this year.

Some truly divine comedy from GM:

Discovering and acting on this issue quickly is an example of the new norm for product safety at GM,” said Jeff Boyer, vice president of GM Global Safety.

One wonders how many wrongful death lawsuits are piling into the GM inbox as a result of GM "acting quickly" on what are now over 16 million recalls in 2014 alone! According to the release, GM is aware of three crashes that resulted in four minor injuries that it believes may be attributed to this condition. Is death considered a minor injury by the product safety team at GM one wonders?

Separately, GM also announced two safety recalls and one non-compliance recall involving a total of 65,121 cars in the U.S. all three of which were reported to the NHTSA on Wednesday, June 11, 2014. Including Canada, Mexico and exports, the total recall population is 69,839.

Here is the full and updated list of cars recalled by GM in 2014 alone:


And here is what happens to GM when month after month it confirms it has flunked the Derek Zoolander school for bailed out companies who can't build cars good: GM has now recalled 70% more cares than it sold in all of 2013, and has recalled 83% more cars in the first 6 months of 2014 than it did in the entire 2008-2013 period!

At least all those votes Obama bought when he bailed out GM were certainly put to good use... just not for building quality cars.

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Kaiser Sousa's picture

your tax dollars have been well spent...

so long suckers.........

101 years and counting's picture

what amazes me most is people actually still buy these pieces of shit.  truly shows how dumb the average amerikkan is.

hedgeless_horseman's picture



Hourly workers will demonstrate the quality that we build in our
vehicles by continuing to serve as ambassadors for our products at
promotional events such as customer clinics, auto shows and charitable
events, under language retained by the committee.

I imagine it is hard to build a quality car when there are apparently no consequences to getting drunk and stoned on break...

ThroxxOfVron's picture

1. The fact is: I DO NOT Care if the workers are catching a buzz on lunch as long as it does not affect their workmanship.

Plenty of People are on pharmaceuticals every day and their workmanship may or may not be impacted by the drugs; so it is my opinion that the results are what matters.  

You simply either have effective workers and effective quality control or You don't.


2. Anyone who thinks that the management aren't drinking and drugging as much or more as the line workers is an idiot.

Management liekly has more money and time and more discrete places and enablerswith wihcih to facilitate their drinking and drugging.


3. IF GM and the Union want to run their business in a particular fashion that is their business as long as NO ONE is being shielded from liability and/or failure.

Shielding from competition liability and failure is the only problem.

Get rid of the bailouts and monopolies and subsides and allow business and products with succeed or fail on their own.


hedgeless_horseman's picture



I DO NOT Care if the workers are catching a buzz on lunch as long as it does not affect their workmanship.

It's a Brave New World.  Keep calm and Soma on?

"Swallowing half an hour before closing time, that second dose of soma had raised a quite impenetrable wall between the actual universe and their minds."

ThroxxOfVron's picture

It only matters if they are high/lazy/incompetent/etc. IF You and I are FORCED to buy or to subsidize or to bail them out or are being precluded ffrom competing against them or from seeking compensation for the liability arising from their practices..

Let them get so fucking wasted that they can't hold a wrench or answer the phones; -just don't hold US accountable in any way or shield them from the consequences of their decisions.


The answer to these problems is to end the subsidies and bailouts and solcialization of losses, to end the hiring quotas and diversity mandates and government interferences, to end the protection of monopolies, end .GOV forced placed product uses and services and licenses and insurances, etc...


FREE WILL: to hire and fire, to contract without interefence, to compete without restriction and imposition.

FREE WILL: to succeed or fail without hindrence or subsidies or socilization of the fruits of success or of shielding from losses.


The Free Market and Free People are the answer to incompetence and inadequacy.

hedgeless_horseman's picture



So, consequences for the company, but not the drunk/stoned union workers?

ThroxxOfVron's picture

You seem to have a serious reading comprehension problem...

Reap what You sow.

IF GM were free of the Union then it could hire and fire as it pleases.  

I support the right of any and every employer to hire and fire as they please.

The fact is: the Govenment ( the Politicians ) were as if not more interested in protecting the UAW than GM.

This was a mostly if not purely politically motivated theft/conversion/expropriation of both private and public property and funds.


The Govenment should not be chosing who gets to keep or lose their property, or who gets to keep or lose their rights, or who gets to have a job or not have a job, or who succeeds or fails despite themselves...

Be angry with the Politicians first, then with the Shareholders who haven't bailed on GM, then with the Management that ran it for their own enrichement before the Shareholders, then the UAW which did exactly what everyone else was doing by the means available to them: BOTH buying off Politicians/sucking the .GOV teat and effectively looting the once great manufacturing concern instead of building their own goddamned futures wtih hard work, personal responsibility and manufacturing great products at a price that people would want to buy because owning them simply made their lives better...


I will point out again since You seemed to step around the issue: the Management is very very likely as stoned/drunk/incompetent as the line workers if not in even worse shape as they have more access/money and are less exposed to scrutiny.  

A stoned exec. on the phone in his office might not even be able to stand up or tie his shoes and who would know?  It's a lot more obvious if someone is too stoned to fucking stand up or to tie his shoe-laces on the production line.

WE should NOT be liable for any individual or business decision or activity by .GOV.

Let failure fail.

WE should NOT be forced to do business or restricted from doing business with any individual or group or company by .GOV.

I stand for free association and free dis-association.  

IF I don't like/want You and/or your personal/business practices and/or your products, etc. : I should not be forced to do interact with you and/or business, and I certainly should not be forced to purchase or subsidize or share in any of your losses or liabilities.

I should NOT be forced to subsidize or bailout or protect via monopoly or forced placement of purchase of your goods/services, etc. by the Government.


Is that clear enough for You?


Stumpy4516's picture

What I read says the recall issues are not due to the quality of the work effort of the blue collar workers but due to the quality of the work efforts of the white collar employees such as the engineers and management. 

Plenty of white collar workers will have a glass of wine, single beer or maybe a cocktail at lunch but I do agree if you work equipment then you should not even have a beer at lunch.

Also, the quality issues of components is often due to managements decisions to cheapen the designs in various ways.  The resulting failure is not due to how it was assembled.  The location of the ignition was not made on the floor by the blue collar people.

Buckaroo Banzai's picture

"...with a corresponding reduction or loss of power."

So THAT'S what happens when you turn off the ignition key!

Idaho potato head's picture

Well hell boy, we all gotta support our troops don't ya troopers er never mind...

jcpicks's picture

'If I had a city, it would look like Detroit'.

Colonel Klink's picture

Nice jab but if you want to look at reality.  Obama's city of origin (no not the one in Kenya), Shitcago is a true indication of the man.  A liberal shithead who's corrupt to the core.

Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Stawk is up stawk is up!

kaaaaw kaaaaawwwww!!!

wagthetails's picture

it's a smart investment.  just thinking of all the extra GDP attributed to fixing these cars.  bravo GM and General America.  maybe next year they can hit 100% recall rate...

Mission accomplished. 

Colonel Klink's picture

They can't recall 70% more CARES than they produced.  That would assume that they cared at all from the start.


"GM has now recalled 70% more cares than it sold in all of 2013, and has recalled 83% more cars in the first 6 months of 2014 than it did in the entire 2008-2013"

EDIT:  Forgot to add, time to get the shitgum and shoot the proofreader.

p00k1e's picture

These union and government types are terrorizing us. 

_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

GM should rename itself to General Failure.

FieldingMellish's picture

Should have died in '08.

SDShack's picture

Exactly. Now it's like a bad B-grade zombie horror flic... "Revenge of the Cash for Clunkers".

intric8's picture

Those cars have to be built at least... three times better!

Dr. Engali's picture

Wtf has happened to this country? Is there any institution left that can keep from embarrassing us any further?

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

We have not yet begun to fight embarrass ourselves.

Dr. Engali's picture

This is what we get when we remove the option to fail from the system..... mediocrity.

Doubleguns's picture

Oh but its still a fail and it still comes with a red face but the red ass is not so prevalant since thats the part that is protected by the govt. 

intric8's picture

The attitude of the managerial oligarchy across a spectrum of industries is perfectly reflective of govt leadership. No accountability. No responsibility. The correction must come from below.

ThroxxOfVron's picture

The Government has not and cannot remove risk or failure from the system: it can only socilaize risk and failure.

In stead of localized loss and/or failure everything/everyone is being forced to lose and fail.

This is the natural mathematical reciprocation of any overly/overtly socialized system.

Every incompetent must be lifted up.

Every loser must be made whole out of the pool of the assets of the successful.

Moar money for the least capable.

Those who cannot do instead teach.

Bailouts, subsidized industries, forced placed health insurance, no-bid contracts, cronyism, hiring quotas, etc., etc., etc...

Everybody gets a trophy! ...And all the trophies are made of shit...

p00k1e's picture

How do responsible worker bees like us get in on the gravy train?

tarsubil's picture

We wish we could reach mediocrity.

Idaho potato head's picture

Paraphrasing : as goes GM, so goes the country, so here we are.........

RiverRoad's picture

"As GM goes so goes the nation"....or something like that.

simplejack's picture


Why isn't GM allowed to go bankrupt when they make terrible products that don't work?

Rootin' for Putin's picture

And overpaid union workers get to make cars no one wants because you cant cut back their hours just because no one is buying the product they make.

klinko's picture

I feel like for a lot of these recalls their time would be better spent defending themselves against idiot consumers whose 'knee bumps the key FOB'.

LetThemEatRand's picture

"A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The driver's knee brushes against the key FOB. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of knees bumping the key, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one."

GM appreciates your support of this idea.

WALLST8MY8BALL's picture

Narrator: We need to talk.
Richard Chesler: Okay. Where to begin? With your constant absenteeism? With your un-presentable appearance? You're up for a review.
Narrator: I am Jack's Complete Lack of Surprise.
Richard Chesler: What?
Narrator: Let's pretend. You're the Department of Transportation, okay? Someone informs you that this company installs front seat mounting brackets that never pass collision tests, brake linings that fail after a thousand miles and fuel injectors that explode and burn people alive. What then?

insanelysane's picture

A buddy of mine spent $30k on a GM suv when he was 25 years old.  The thing had constant issues and GM just delayed him until they found some BS reason that he voided the warranty.  The entire time I'm thinking, here is a kid at 25 that even if he only bought a new car every 10 years still has 4 or 5 cars left to buy and up to 10 if he buys one every years and they completely fucked him over.

Fortunately there is a new sucker born every minute.

Carpenter1's picture

Stock price barely affected, of course

MountainsRoam's picture

Not yet, good luck trying to time it.. I have some Jan 2016 puts, and have plenty of time to wait for the collapse..

ThroxxOfVron's picture

Is the FED secretly using the BOJ's admitted playbook yet and buying GM stockunder the table to prop it up yet?


insanelysane's picture

Fortunately for GM, all of the Camaros were channel stuffed so they weren't actually recalled from paying customers.

hidingfromhelis's picture

With seasonal adjustment and the effect of "weather," non-GAAP EBITDA will actually increase!  I'm going to buy two Camaros on 80 month financing in anticipation of my GM stock gains.

NoWayJose's picture

The real problem is that GM is still wrapped up in the need for annual model changes. Every change is something that can go wrong. Most other companies focus on designing a quality product and then on trying to produce it more efficiently. Even when GM identifies and fixes a problem, they throw that away and start with something new the next model year.

youngman's picture

Its Government run Motors...what do you expect.....