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Hamas Declares New Intifada Against Israel (Because The World Doesn't Have Enough Wars)

Tyler Durden's picture


Can't we all just get along and stop crossing red lines? Just when we had run out of fingers to count the number of conflicts around the world that are flaring, Haaretz reports that Hamas called on Palestinians Friday to declare an intifada throughout the West Bank and to confront Israeli "forces of Occupation," be it through a popular uprising or individual action. Earlier Friday, Khaled Al-Batsh, a senior member of Islamic Jihad, called on Palestinians to kidnap Israeli soldiers, adding that "this is a chance to widen the sphere of resistance and return the West Bank to its natural place as the focal point of the struggle and resistance." Your move President Obama; how do you sanction Hamas?



Via Haaretz,

Hamas called on Palestinians Friday to declare an intifada throughout the West Bank and to confront Israeli "forces of Occupation," be it through a popular uprising or individual action.


Hassan Badran, Hamas' international spokesman in Gaza, posted Friday on Facebook calling for Palestinians in the West Bank to impede the Israeli army's movement around the West Bank, particularly in the Hebron area, where three Israeli teens are feared kidnapped.


"This is a chance to widen the sphere of resistance and return the West Bank to its natural place as the focal point of the struggle and resistance," Badran wrote.


Earlier Friday, Khaled Al-Batsh, a senior member of Islamic Jihad, called on Palestinians to kidnap Israeli soldiers. Speaking at a Friday prayer in Gaza, Al-Batsh said kidnapping soldiers is the most efficient way to bring about the release of Palestinian prisoners.


The declaration comes in the wake of the apparent kidnapping Friday of three missing Israeli teens, one of whom holds U.S. citizenship.

Probably a good time to buy US equities... (especially airlines!!!)

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Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:31 | 4854290 CoonT
CoonT's picture

Need one of these in Ontario!

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:32 | 4854296 Slave
Slave's picture

LOL nothing will happen to Israel.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:35 | 4854307 tonyw
tonyw's picture

but i guess it leaves israel open to do whatever it wants with lots of other distractions going on.


Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:38 | 4854317 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Let them kill each other, I have more important things to do, like taking a nap....

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:40 | 4854335 Itch
Itch's picture

Someone should smuggle a nuke into Palestine, the ultimate suicide bomb, those borders would be drawn faster than you could say nuclear holocaust.  

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:49 | 4854378 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

what the fuck is this a tipping point? Everything is accellerating and happening quciker and quicker.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:54 | 4854392 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Fuck Israel.  They need to get the fuck out of my country and wallet.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 15:03 | 4854428 john39
john39's picture

a map, like a picture, is worth a thousand words:


Fri, 06/13/2014 - 15:09 | 4854449 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Rothschild created Palestine.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 15:32 | 4854557 JR
JR's picture

When we have settled the land, all the Arabs will be able to do about it will be to scurry around like drugged cockroaches in a bottle." Raphael Eitan, Chief of Staff of the Israeli Defence Forces, New York Times, 14 April 1983.

“We declare openly that the Arabs have no right to settle on even one centimeter of Eretz Israel...Force is all they do or ever will understand. We shall use the ultimate force until the Palestinians come crawling to us on all fours.”—Rafael Eitan, April 13, 1983


NOTE: The World Almanac 1933 report from The American Jewish Committee listed the estimated Jewish population of Palestine in 1933 as 175,006: On its 66th birthday, Israel's population neared 8.2 million, growing last year by some 157,000 people; Jews represent about 75% of the total population – the Israeli-Arab population stands at 20.7%.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 15:51 | 4854619 knukles
knukles's picture

Awesome leadership

Fucking amazing

It truly is no wonder....

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 16:12 | 4854691 sharonsj
sharonsj's picture

The quote attributed to Eitan is fabricated; no such statement ever appeared in the New York Times.  But since you are a stupid bigot, facts will mean nothing to you.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 16:33 | 4854757 James Dandy
James Dandy's picture

Israelis are bigots, they won't even let me marry a jewess legally since I'm not a "chosen one".  

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 16:45 | 4854807 Frostfan1
Frostfan1's picture

Uhhhhhh  yeah.  So you were spending a lot of time in Israel, got engaged and  the government blocked you from getting married, right?

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 16:53 | 4854826 Kinskian
Kinskian's picture

"Antisemitism is a disease; you catch it from Jews"   -Edgar Steele

Sat, 06/14/2014 - 08:43 | 4856257 messystateofaffairs
messystateofaffairs's picture

Why would you want to marry a Jewess. Those bitches are uniformly fugly.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 17:03 | 4854861 JR
JR's picture

Take it up with Dr. Amir Ale, Ph.D. and his Article Collection of Israeli quotes:


Or, professors Stephen Walt of Harvard University and John Mearsheimer of the University of Chicago who in their book The Israel Lobby and U.S. Foreign Policy (Farrar & Straus, Sept. 2007)  charge that former Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin called the Palestinians “beasts walking on two legs” and former IDF Chief of Staff Rafael Eitan termed them “drugged roaches in a bottle.”

Or, the link I cited.

A bigot is a person who strongly and unfairly dislikes other people and ideas. In that the people and ideas I dislike are done fairly, I cannot be classified a bigot.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 15:25 | 4854540 Itch
Itch's picture

British media have a blackout on that particular map....tried posting it twice on the Guardian, on the Mail, Telegraph; there are either some major inconsistencies on the map, or media types understand the power of simple imagery. 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 15:07 | 4854450 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

As Bubbles would say, Israel needs to fuck right off!

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 15:23 | 4854530 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

Speaking of which, something seems to have been fucky in the jerusalem area for what 60 years give or take?


p.s. here is a tire declaring an intifada on Israel.





Fri, 06/13/2014 - 15:19 | 4854508 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

I thought that the Obama Administration was funding Palestine now?

What do you mean the money is not coming out Obama's PACs/Future Library Funds?!

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 16:29 | 4854742 James Dandy
James Dandy's picture

I agree, fuck Israel.  Something big is about to go down, Israel always uses events in other parts of the world as cover to  slaughter innocent and unarmed Palestinians.  Operation Cast Lead for example in 2008-09 as the world's phony finanical markets were coming apart at the seams.  The Israel Defense Forces were killing little girls left and right while Baby Boomers in the USSA were crying as they watched their brokerage accounts and pensions go up in smoke on CNBC.


Fuck Israel and any asshole that supports it. 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 16:42 | 4854797 Frostfan1
Frostfan1's picture

You're connecting Cast Lead with the financial crisis?  So if the stock market was as high and boring as it was now, there wouldn't have been a Cast Lead? 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 21:25 | 4855551 soontobeblocked
soontobeblocked's picture

Yo, Strawman! That is NOT what the poster wrote. 

The poster wrote that ISR took advantage of the distraction.  HUGE difference.

Lame attempt to rebut.  Lemme guess: your up arrow is a selfie?

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:59 | 4854398 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

At this pace, by market close today we should have priced-in at least 1 report of a nuke going off somewhere, then they can close stawks out at HOD for the weekend.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:48 | 4854376 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

When in deep trouble, just declare 'intifada' against yourself, then you can get away with whatever you feel like.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 15:17 | 4854496 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

It is like a dramatic teenage girl attempting suicide. LOL

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 16:47 | 4854814 Frostfan1
Frostfan1's picture

You mean aside from Hamas now also known as part of the Palestinian unity government provoking the fight.  They want to get their asses kicked, I know a country full of Jews that can't wait to do it.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 21:29 | 4855564 soontobeblocked
soontobeblocked's picture

"I know a country full of Jews that can't wait to do it."

The USA?  At least that's the impression that a tv viewer or periodical reader would have.  If they all wore a Star of David or had one by their bylines, the average American would think they fell asleep and woke up in Tel Aviv.


Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:46 | 4854364 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Well we know for certain the sun will burn out in a couple billions years, so at the very least Israel will definitely have something happen to it then.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 15:13 | 4854478 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

Hamas is a feckless counterbalance to hezbollah whose creation is rooted from within Zionism itself. In other words, you're exactly right.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:37 | 4854314 AvoidingTaxation
AvoidingTaxation's picture

Especially airlines LOL

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:38 | 4854323 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

So what else is new?

But seriously, I hope that out of all this mess there emerges a true Kurdistan, now there is an ethnic group that has had the shit end of the stick for some time....

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 15:02 | 4854424 ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

Meet Zbig... Kurdistan has been his wet dream since the 80s, envisioned as a USSA puppet state watching over both Russia end the f'd up players in ME. Easy to accomplish when applied to a banana (lack of statehood tradition); for reference see: Kosovo.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 16:15 | 4854703 JR
JR's picture


"The Arab Spring made the Kurds a group central to the US plan to dominate the Caucasus, the Caspian Sea, and the Persian Gulf. The Kurds who never dropped their centuries-old independence goal out of sight are eager to seize the arising opportunities and to capitalize on the strategic alliance with the US."

Strategic Culture Foundation has one of the best sites available and a regular column by Paul Craig Roberts. Thanks for this past article.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 16:20 | 4854721 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

It goes without saying, however, it should be pretty clear that it has not been an obvious goal of the State Department in any administration within memory. I would also imagine that it is one of the few bargaining chips that the US has with Turkey...

An ethnically united Kurdistan would be a significant player in the region..

Maybe that is now changing...

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 17:39 | 4854986 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

I agree with Flak, angel trumpets blaring..  Of course Kurdistan will be too hot  to live in but hey it will be on the map... ha

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:39 | 4854325 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

If I didn't know any better it would seem the USA is actually arming Hamas!

"And Hezbollah too!"

Sat, 06/14/2014 - 08:27 | 4856232 messystateofaffairs
messystateofaffairs's picture

NSA is Israeli controlled.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:40 | 4854334 walküre
walküre's picture

Good cover for Israel to do something. The world is preoccupied with soccer and ISIS. Almost too perfect.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 15:02 | 4854421 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I've been wondering when they would obtain an invitation to the hostilities.

Thanks Mossad!

*grabs popcorn*

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 15:35 | 4854572 MansaMusa
MansaMusa's picture

I'm guessing this Monday will be the black flag event.  And then maybe we'll figure out what REALLY happened to the Malaysian airlines... 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:41 | 4854338 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture

For some reason, I have been playing Slayer's Soundtrack to the Apocalypse non-stop lately..........


Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:42 | 4854345 m_kay
Fri, 06/13/2014 - 19:56 | 4855344 BigJim
BigJim's picture

 "Last week, Mahmoud Abbas’ Fatah/Palestinian Authority (PA) formed a unity government with the Nazi-like Hamas terror organization"

Fuck off, Hasbara.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:46 | 4854362 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

The enemy of my enemy. Is still my enemy. 

Sat, 06/14/2014 - 10:25 | 4856414 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

"The enemy of my enemy is my ally*" -Kirk

* Alliances are temporary pacts of convenience, and remain so until formally cemented.  Otherwise the ally becomes an enemy once again, when the temporary has caused the common enemy to be eliminated.  This is a classic way of eliminating an enemy who is otherwise too difficult and costly to eliminate.  Put another way: An Alliance is nothing more than a temporary and convenient Force Multiplier.

Kirk out.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:46 | 4854366 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Send 'em some hugs and bows Barry.


Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:46 | 4854367 NYPoke
NYPoke's picture

Palastinians feeling neglected.  Those other oppressed peoples taking too much of the attention.


Unfortunately, the Shiities just declared a Fatwa, which totally trumps an Infitada.  Better luck next time.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 14:48 | 4854368 jubber
jubber's picture

..and Oil turns Red, Dow S&P HOD, this is nuts, Oh and Gold is up a whole $2  LOL and of course the VIX is down

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