A "Laser-Focused" Jonh Kerry Updates On Iraq Situation: "Obama Moving Rapidly To Decide Iraq Response"

Tyler Durden's picture


In case there was any concerns that the US Secretary of State is unable to handle the rapidly moving events in Iraq due to being stuck on his boat (again), here comes the Ketchup heir-in-law, speaking at the London Global Summit to end sexual violence in conflict (!) to diffuse all fears that "just once" the US may not be on top of its foreign policy game:


And just like that, the jihadists who are too extreme even for Al Qaeda, will surely promptly scatter, fearful what drastic sanctions the US will impose on the Al Qaeda central bank and, heaven-forbid, the travel ban that will likely also follow...

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Fri, 06/13/2014 - 08:55 | 4852238 pods
pods's picture

Better start whipping his ass, this thing is gonna be over before you release a statement.


Fri, 06/13/2014 - 08:56 | 4852244 PartysOver
PartysOver's picture

An ill-logical, misguided, delusional response is due in 5, 4, 3, 2 .....

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:01 | 4852277 OpenThePodBayDoorHAL
OpenThePodBayDoorHAL's picture

Obomba and Lurch have managed the impossible: made Iraq into a Dem problem. Oh oh it's the Dems who "lost" Iraq". Not a word about the war criminal cabal of Bush/Cheney who blew the place up in the first place for absolutely no reason.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:06 | 4852307 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Our best hippies from the 60s are all over this.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:12 | 4852345 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Unfortunately, these assholes threw the best Hippies we had in the 60's in prison or had them shot. 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:14 | 4852353 The Internation...
The International Jew's picture

Totally gonna hijack this:

 This needs to be understood.


This is a correction of my racism toward Jews -

I was not aware of the information in the video, until Today.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:15 | 4852362 knukles
knukles's picture

Our Common Core (Federally Mandated Brain Washing) Lesson fir the Day is, repeat after me: "It's Bush's fault."

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:31 | 4852458 Hulk
Hulk's picture

I hear Bush Sr has HALO'D into Iraq in order to solve this thing...

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 12:01 | 4853259 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

"laser-focused"...so they put blinkers on this nag?

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 12:17 | 4853379 Four chan
Four chan's picture

he was better shitting his pants over snowden. snowden 2016

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 12:46 | 4853600 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

How many times will Lurch stomp his hoof?

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:34 | 4852470 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

And with laser focus, the brain trust has come up with a fool proof plan to protect Baghdad. As I write this, a cargo plane is being loaded with placards, hammers, and nails which will be dropped into the perimeter areas of Baghdad. These placards will contain the message, "Gun Free Zone."

I can't believe this idea required laser focus though.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:02 | 4852622 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

It's about priorities. The Iraq problem was third in line behind the golf game and consultations with Reggie.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:23 | 4852721 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

oh just fuck off already, el presidente bath house.  go back to sleep...get up at noon like always.  eat your fucking food that the wookie planned out for you for lunch.  take a fucking nap.  go golfing.  then suck it with your male prostitutes or whatever you do, you piece of shit. 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:59 | 4852849 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Our "reporting for duty" swift boat captain and after action report embellisher ought to fish that green beret's beret out of his briefcase for this one.   Take it way up river, sear some more shit into his memory with that laser.  

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 11:17 | 4852969 johngerard
johngerard's picture


Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:42 | 4852505 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

It IS BushCo's fault, son.

Stay the fuck out of Iraq.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:11 | 4852659 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

it's year 6 of the obama presidency....he declared the Mission "a success" two years ago.  he took the victory lap already....now you're saying he didnt even run in the race?

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:20 | 4852709 MaggieL
MaggieL's picture

He must have run in the race, he's got the Nobel Participation Trophy. 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 11:02 | 4852871 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

And he duly thanked the academy too.  That's seared into my memory. 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:16 | 4852363 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity"

 That's that blame thing going to the extreme.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:32 | 4852461 nuclearsquid
Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:32 | 4852463 nuclearsquid
Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:13 | 4852347 The Internation...
The International Jew's picture

Totally gonna hijack this:

 This needs to be understood.



Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:22 | 4852407 ShorTed
ShorTed's picture

"zerohedge pages are the only places where the same thing is repeated ad infinum"  so this is jujst you talking about yourself?

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:30 | 4852454 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

People wanna know what Dave Grohl and his kitty have to say. 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:14 | 4852357 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

@Get. Hear ya. I now honestly believe these fuckers are innured to and unaware of their startling incompetence.
Acid burnouts.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:33 | 4852469 Lost_River
Lost_River's picture

Gringo:  change one of your premises.  assume as true that they desire foreign and domestic chaos and they don't care what form the chaos takes.  given that assumption, are they incompetent?

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:14 | 4852359 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

OK, so Obummer/Kerry/Kohn have the largest intelligence apparatus at their disposal with overhead realtime viewing.

They have been watching this play out in realtime for how long?

And now they're going all 'laser-focused' and all.

What dupes do they believe us to be?

Oh right, sheeple are easily duped and hunger for more of the same statist/oligarchical manna.

How foolish of me to believe it was all contrived in the first place.


Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:28 | 4852401 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Largest just means it employs more people, it doesn't mean it's more efficient or effective than a pair of monkeys with typewriters.


I think when people think about organization and authority, thanks to public schooling, they imagine over-reaching and competent professionalism.

It's the image these bastards want on the minds of the masses so that went they "leak" things about how vast their spy network is, it quells a lot of the dissent without actually having to have that sort of intelligence capacity. The Stasi and the KGB both used systematic propaganda of that nature. Rightfully so it was developed by the NAZI's after copying the British forms of propaganda during WWI.


Basically, I think the real psyop is that they have so many people convinced that they have all of this capacity. Likely the truth is that there is too much data to go through. Most of real intelligence work is spent making your enemy think something that is not true.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:29 | 4852448 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Not gonna argue your point. However, who can forget seeing all those vultures in the Situation room watching their ambassador and soldiers getting butchered.

And I'm supposed to believe that they have not had or are to stupid to interpret the intel in Iraq over the last how many days/weeks/months/years.

Sorry this low brow pinhead isn't buying it.

They've had more than enough time/intel to know exactly what was going on and where.

Just my pinhead opinion.


Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:34 | 4852473 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Rumor has it that the photo was staged and altered. 


They are not exactly the most intelliegent people on the planet, just the most electable according to BS poli-sci studies and "scientific" polling. 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:51 | 4852558 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

So if I take your point to a logical conclusion, am I to believe that the whole of this push towards NSA/CIA oversight and dominance is just a figment of my imagination because the perpetrators are really incompetent and stupid?

C'mon Nid, this is not one of your best arguments. I have seen you post much better than this in the past.

There is an overall agenda/narrative of the Regime and it does have competency and direction coupled with unlimited amounts of fiat.

To think this is all just happenstance is pure denial based on the idea of sheer incompetence and stupidity, Please!


Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:03 | 4852602 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

No, what I am saying is that you and me will not matter, because they have the majority of the populace convinced that they can do all of these amazing things. Assuming that you are understanding my position here that is. After all, look at all of these movies and this fancy tech that gets previewed on the TV news all the time. The amount of effort used to convince people of nonsense, like AGW. Most of this stuff is propaganda, we already know the CIA and intelligence community itself in general has been involved in making Hollywood movies for at least 20 years now. What better way to push propaganda?

However, my internet connection drops out at least once a month, and I have never seen the government do anything effectively or efficiently unless you count wasting resources. The best comp-sci nerds are in Silicon Valley making money, not in dusty G-man basements. 

When the military invades a country, the US drops millions worth of pamphlets trying to convince the locals that our being there is out of charity, and they keep saying that while walking around imposing curfews, and arresting people for questioning without civil authority. The amount of effort that goes into convincing those people of all sorts of BS is unbelievable. The US government does the same thing when doing policy explorations. That is what those think tanks are for, and why the CFR exists. To exchange information from polling data and strategy changes.


Government can create all sorts of things out of thin air with a stroke of pen, but you can not fake competence. Loyalty and competence are two opposites. Competent people do not need to be loyal to one sole employer, they are good enough to attract the attention of better or more lucrative employers.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:22 | 4852705 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

There is no question that the leviathan of .gov is a slow moving, dimwitted beast.

However, their inability to move quickly and efficiently is not to be construed as their Achilles heel.

They have indeed allied themselves with and are running lockstep with the Googles and MSs of the world and are using facism to expand their dominance.

When CEO's of major corporations are meeting in groups like the Bilderbergers and CFR and TriLats, we have a lot to digest and this does influence my thinking and actions.

It does not blunt my resolve and steely determination to thwart this, but I have to incorporate it into my strategies.

To do otherwise is foolhearty and detrimental to our and our children's future if you are liberty minded and believe in a constitutional republic.

I have resolved to be diligent in my push against this madness in a peaceful and thoughtful manner until I can't and the dam breaks.

Then all bets are off...


Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:28 | 4852442 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

Great - hope it works out as well as his laser focus on jobs.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 11:08 | 4852910 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

They just tune into CNN down in the situation room, and make a weekly highlight reel for The One, with that silly Benny Hill music mixed on top, so He doesn't get his mellow harshed.  That's how He finds stuff out, such as the weaponisation of the IRS to prevent inconvenient political speech.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:22 | 4852404 Leveraged Algorithm
Leveraged Algorithm's picture

Breeding another generation in Colorado.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:49 | 4852551 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

Still bushes fault huh retard, you must be the slow one InThe family .

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:05 | 4852279 knukles
knukles's picture

With laser like focus, Knukies is scratching his nuts, reading The Hedge while sipping his morning tea and contemplating his morning a crap.


sounds they're like the people on meth, picking at that one knot of hair for about 6 hours at a stretch with a laseerr like focus

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:09 | 4852319 Murf_DaSurf
Murf_DaSurf's picture



Is this what happens when everyone in a Country has Guns and the people don't like the Politicians running the Govt. ?

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 11:01 | 4852863 yrbmegr
yrbmegr's picture

No, that's a civil war.  This is a proxy war.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 11:15 | 4852955 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

Well who is this Allahu Akbar character the fighters yell about so much then?   One of the evil foreign proxies no doubt, not a genuine product of their local culture.   Seriously, because whenever they say that a lot of barbaric evil cruelty proceeds, and so that's GOT to be of entirely foreign origin.   Because west bad third whirled doubleplus good.  

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:57 | 4852588 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Here in Texas, we have a polite but pejorative saying for things like this: "fixin' to get ready."

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 10:12 | 4852668 Overfed
Overfed's picture

Saayy, what a coinkidink. I'm doing the same thing, except with coffee.

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:06 | 4852305 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture





Fri, 06/13/2014 - 09:42 | 4852515 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

So why didn't we just pump all the god-damned oil out of the country when we were in control for those 10 years? It's what we were after the whole time anyway. Imagine Bush/Obama saying "You know all the money we spent liberating you from the evil Saddam? Well, we're going to pay ourselves back in oil. See ya".

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 11:11 | 4852924 rubiconsolutions
rubiconsolutions's picture

"So why didn't we just pump all the god-damned oil out of the country when we were in control for those 10 years?"

Ah, the old CIA / MI6 - 1953 Iran playbook. "What's our is ours, what's your is negotiable", right? We should have never invaded Iraq in the first place. Their oil is their oil. America has this mindset that the rest of the world is its service station and that it can do whatever the helll it wants, take whatever it wants to power its empire. No wonder the rest of the world is weary of the US. A strong case could be made that while Saddam was a turd Iraq was better off with him. Just ask the 500,000 children that were killed trying to get rid of him. 

Fri, 06/13/2014 - 11:27 | 4853011 TBT or not TBT
TBT or not TBT's picture

They actually did say that initially.   The oil would pay.  But the RINO plus Dem faction of our polity went with "if you break it you fix it" and then we proceeded to blow a trillion bucks and 5000 American lives trying to fix stupid. The Arab culture, and resulting Arab people, are highly inbred by endless centuries of cousin marrying.   They are tribal, premodern, and continuously frustrated.  It would take a century or two of occupation to reverse any of that, and given our domestic politics, that's not going to happen.  

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