President Obama To Explain How He'll Really Fix Iraq This Time - Live Feed

Tyler Durden's picture

For those playing at home, we offer a little buzzword bingo for today's impromptu Presidential press conference regarding Iraq: "line in the sand", "support", "red line", "drone", "sanctions", "kinetic", "sternly worded email", "no one could have seen this coming", and "boots on the ground." We suspect it's going to be another long-weekend for war correspondents... and journalists (which means it must be time to dump VIX and BTFWWIII).




or this...

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spekulatn's picture

Hash tag bitchez.

simplejack's picture



how did Iraq break in the first place?  who broke it?  


why did they break it?

Buckaroo Banzai's picture

We've got these Shiite infidel scum on the run! ALLAHU AKBAR!

takeaction's picture

Oh Look...the community organizer is LATE again......who would have known? This is so funny to watch the empty field...

economics9698's picture

I think Uday and Kusai pissed Bush off by hanging pictures of his daughters up next to the K-Y jelly and paper towels.  

DaddyO's picture

Wow, he used the terrrrist word.

Why the shift in narrative?


Four chan's picture

its on this weekend go long oil short markets.

gh0atrider's picture

Only Obama can micromanage the free ponzi world!

simplejack's picture




has anybody asked the people of Iraq what they want?

StacksOnStacks's picture

Viagra doesn't make McCain this hard!

redpill's picture

They better be careful or Obama might unfriend them on Facebook.

WarHorse's picture

For fuke sake - Obama is about as useful as tits on a bull.  

Whoa Dammit's picture

OBullwinkle's favorite tag line: "Watch me pull a rabbit outta my ass."

ACP's picture

Hang on, I'm taking notes...


Lewshine's picture

Incoherent Obama speak - Military action / diplomacy/ No military action will help/ Iraq's need to defend themselves. What BS!! Expect gas to be $5.00 a gallaon by july 4th.


john39's picture

not sending troops because those Saudi/Israeli takfiri militants are doing zato's dirty work in destroying the ME.

ChiefToledo's picture

The strategy is very clear. Install Sunni aligned regime, dump Iranian friendly Shia government. The high ranking Taliban admin guys just released from Gitmo can advise.

Enough said.

redpill's picture

And then rinse&repeat when Billary is in the WH?

TruthHunter's picture

If the plan is to turn the "Fertile Crescent" into a wasteland, it's right on track.


The plan(IMHO):

Keep Iraqi oil in the ground.

Scare the shit of of the Shiites.

Make sure Sunnis and Shiites are evenly balanced and destroy each other in Iraq.

Destroy Assad in the slowest and most painful way possible.

Use up Hezballah's war chest in Syria.

Leave Russia holding the bag on Syria's loans.

$5+ oil sounds almost merciful... Just a downturn planned, not collapse.

When things settle down, take out the House of Saud.




NihilistZero's picture

I must selfishly admit that your post has put me in the best mood of any regarding this clusterfuck.

Maybe these CIA Black Ops will actually make things better for the average American for once instead of worse.  Or perhaps, at least, less bad...

The Duke of New York A No.1's picture

It's a multi-faceted business plan;


* Create artifical oil shortage: pump oil prices & oil stocks.


* Break everything: then get no-bid cotrracts and have US taxpayers fund expensive re-construction projects.

takeaction's picture

Can you imagine being that guy standing next to the chopper not being able to move....What a pawn.  Nice job buddy.

Jethro's picture

Well, being a Marine myself, I can honestly tell you, that the Marine hates what he's doing. He'll follow orders though. I can almost guarantee you that he's the low man on the totem pole or lost a bet. If he were able to just do what he wanted, he'd taco punch that halfrican catamite right in the mangina.

kchrisc's picture

Is your friend aware that his "orders" are, from a Constitutional and Nuremberg Principle IV point of view, unlawful?

economics9698's picture

Cocksucker in chief needs to get the fuck off the stage.

Buckaroo Banzai's picture

But I like to watch monkeys fucking a football.

fockewulf190's picture

If I was Iran´s top turban, I´d go for broke and, after absorbing all the screaming banshees around Basra into my new Army of the 12th Imam, I´d march my way north through Bagdad, link up with my quds force and Iranian Revolutionary Guard troops already in country, and slaughter the entire lot all the way to Mosul. After the counter-blitzkrieg, then I would bypass the Kurds, and fight heading east, mopping up all the way to Damascus, while Hezbollah and Assad join in on the offensive.   Game Over.

takeaction's picture fuck...FLy that chopper in and do some Rambo shit with Michelle and your us how to lead from example...don't send our guys into this hell hole AGAIN...Peace prize Fucker!

Urban Redneck's picture

If he's going to use a vehicle as a comedic prop for his press performance, the Marine Corps Band should grow some ballz and start playing the Entrance of the Gladiators instead of Hail to the Chief whenever Obozo shows up.

optimator's picture

badonviller marsch would be more appropriate.

CrimsonAvenger's picture

They should kick off Yakety Sax (aka the Benny Hill theme song), have him walk in super-fast and start patting Biden on his head.

Urban Redneck's picture

For the MTV/YouBoob generations

(Yes, it actually started out as a military march before the organ grinders got a hold of it.)

rtalcott's picture
Emerson, Lake and Palmer - Welcome Back My Friends

Billy Sol Estes's picture

"Here's the plan: my army of trained rats will lead the charge, and my scabies will protect our flank."

-Final Sacrifice

wisefool's picture

I was against the war before I was for the war.

disabledvet's picture

"Quantity is a quality all it's own." Joseph Stalin.

Chupacabra-322's picture

Now let me be perfectly clear. It was Bush's fault.

tarsubil's picture

Now let me be clear, we are going to discuss and think and stuff about the stuff that is happening and may happen or has possibly thought to have happened and we are going to consider it for some time and stuff.

SDShack's picture

Is he brandishing a crayon and talking about Red Lines yet?

midtowng's picture

And Cheney's.

The Democrats are guilty of being gutless when it came to standing up to the Republicans. Everyone in the world but the Republicans knew that invading Iraq was a bad idea.

DaddyO's picture

Sorry midtowng, that argument rings hollow. We're almost 6 years into a democratic presidency which had total legislative control for two years. When is it gonna be Obummer's fault?

This admin has left death and destruction throughout the world and not one libtard has stepped up and denounced dear leader like they have Bush.

I'm no fan of the Bushes or the Cheneys or other oligarchical families and am tired of the blame game. When is the buck gonna stop and someone take full and complete responsibility?

Enough already, Rome is burning...


IndicaTive's picture

Let me be perfectly clear.

williambanzai7's picture

Remember Little Bighorn?

Now we have Little Big Butthead.

Dan The Man's picture



LMAO...Thats funny

kchrisc's picture

Obama: "Lets see, 'Who' is on first, and 'What' is on second, and 'Don't Know" is on third...I'm confused."

CIA-Obama will not be ordered by his CIA and Israeli handlers to bomb the CIA's "terrorists" in Iraq.

Son of Captain Nemo's picture



"Everything you wanted to know about Iraq but were afraid to ask"...  This is beyond evil and it just proves we're living on the 3rd layer of Hell.

Question is:  How will Ass-Puppet-in-Chief or should I say his handlers keep all these plates spinning and in total control of them is anybody's guess?...

Meanwhile back in Ukraine...

Rip van Wrinkle's picture

Will someone please get this scrotum off my TV screens just for one fucking day.


This fucker is more usefulon a basketball court than he is as a leader.


How doesit go now.....oh, that's right....FUCK YOU OBAMA!!



Chupacabra-322's picture

You've seen him play hoops? Bath House Barry sucks & has no outside J.

thamnosma's picture

It's been 5 years of daily torture.  I do everything I can to avoid even hearing his voice.  I've laughed at some of our "leaders", been enraged by them as well, but I deeply detest this fuck.