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Caption Contest: Germany Uber Alles Edition

Tyler Durden's picture


With Germany taking a commanding (and somewhat shocking) 3-0 lead at half-time over European partners Portugal in the FIFA World Cup, the following image of the 'elites' enjoying the game could well be the analogy of the last few years...



Of course, adjusted for the weather.. and the looming re-bailout, Portugal are leading 4-3...


h/t @AFP


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Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:01 | 4861666 CrashisOptimistic
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Argentina will have to call its team home.  No way to pay for their food.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:13 | 4861705 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Germany should pound Portugal into the ground and Argentina should just give up and default.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:19 | 4861721 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

You're talking militarily?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:25 | 4861743 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

NEXT, I Will Towel-Whip Their Asses ...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:53 | 4861866 agNau
agNau's picture

We whip "Weimar Style"!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:07 | 4861940 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Just becaue i celebrate like a dweeb......

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:16 | 4861983 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

now that those people are all in a little box, this would be a good time to begin their questioning

starting with: are you comfortable? would you like a glass of water? a cigarette? very good. let us begin.


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:26 | 4862026 SoilMyselfRotten
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Wasn't that the same reaction she had when W gave her a backrub???

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:32 | 4861765 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

Wasn't there a ZH article in the last world cup, saying whether the team won or lost (I think portugal or Spain), they would still need a bailout from the team they were playing against (Germany)?  I tried looking it up, oh well

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:49 | 4861848 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Yeah it was a Spain/Germany game and Spain won it. The bet was if Spain won Germany would have to buy enough Spanish bonds to get their 10yr below the 10yr UST. The irony was if Germany had won they would still have to get the Spanish 10yr below the 1oyr UST so it was sort of a riskless bet. 

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:21 | 4862007 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

Ahh that's right! For a sec I thought I was losing my mind there and making stuff up.  Funny stuff.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:32 | 4862346 walküre
walküre's picture

and see what happened ... Spanish 10 yr below US 10 yr

Spain can't afford to pay more. The money to buy the debt is fake, faker, fakest than ever.

ECB is in full blown Weimar mode but nobody's paying attention - yet

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:14 | 4861708 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

But, hey, the Malvinas belong to them, right?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:34 | 4861780 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

As they like to scream:


Sooooooommmmooooossssssss... Arrrrgeennnnnntinooooosssssss!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:25 | 4861741 aVileRat
aVileRat's picture

It's cool. They will defect like the USSR team did after their gov's defaulted.

Excellent news for domestic reform and the energy industry in Argentina. Which in turn should further improve local governance & wage standards. One of my Kingdoms for honest Argentina inflation & employment statistics, or at least real currency markets.

Speaking of Germans, anyone else find it odd that out of all the deals Germany does with Russia on a daily basis, they want to take down L1 and the RWE transaction ? Not sure what they intend to get out of that one, DEA is still going to zero due to the stupidly skewed carbon credit fraud going on in France/German power sector right now. Not like yelling at Mikhail is going to suddenly change Putina's tune on arms sales or rhetoric, esp. given how much money he is promising to Pork into Paris starting in September.



Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:20 | 4861997 harlanaladd
harlanaladd's picture

Caption: "Squeal like a  PIIG ! "

(w/ apologies to Ned Beattie....)

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 16:43 | 4862632 Escrava Isaura
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They [Argentineans] will just have to go to the 'favelas'. Favelados [people that live in Favelas] knows how to find food.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:02 | 4861669 madbraz
madbraz's picture

Anyone who stands next to Blatter is corrupt by association...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:14 | 4861707 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

Trying to see if Blatter's hand is in Platini's pocket...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 16:02 | 4862498 Carl Spackler
Carl Spackler's picture

Nope.  Blatter's hand is actually in the pocket of the Qatari sheikh to Platini's right (just outside of the picture).

Blatter has a "global" reach !

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:15 | 4861712 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

Good old Sepp.  Utter vermin .

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:03 | 4861672 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Wait, three goals? In a single match?


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:05 | 4861678 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I think the record is 4.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:31 | 4861761 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

In NFL terms, the current score is 21-0. Feel better? Less challenged now?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:48 | 4862129 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

The word you're looking for is "entertained."

Which could be achieved by replacing the ball with the red dot of a laser-pointer (without affecting 99% of any match).

Oh, and I did not junk you (as I find your smugness entertaining). Besides, you use Obummer as an avatar, which is far beyond any damage I could do to your reputation.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:54 | 4862355 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

I could replace 95% of a NFL game with porn since there's only 12 minutes of action in a 200 minute contest.

Don't even get me started on baseball.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:39 | 4861806 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

4-0 now. Or 28-0 in NFL terms or 32-0 with 2 point conversions.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:08 | 4861683 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

That's more scoring (on screen) than in the entire Twilight series - so I've heard.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:10 | 4861692 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

In half a match.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:08 | 4861687 Conflict of Interest
Conflict of Interest's picture

Merkel (holding hands *this much" apart), "Es ist mir Wurst!"  Applies to her opinion of Portugal's economy as well.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:13 | 4861701 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

Toi, toi, toi and "pressing her thumbs" to wish good luck on the economy and Gerhard Schroeder's continued employment by Gazprom.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:12 | 4861694 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

fuck that hound faced banker owned ho...

caption that.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:12 | 4861697 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

Merkel: we didnt give all that money to portugal for nothing.  or greece, or france or spain or ........

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:19 | 4861720 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

Just try cuffing me you fools!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:22 | 4861730 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

portugal and italy have the germans by the balls.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:28 | 4861749 Reaper
Reaper's picture

Danke von Mutti

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:28 | 4861752 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Das Bitch

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:38 | 4861756 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

3-0 is shocking? Germany missed a wide open shot on goal. Should be 4-0.

Germany has 11 of the top 100 players in the world. 6-0 would be shocking. 3-0, not so much.

4-0 now. Lol. And Germany has mainly been playing keep away in the second half.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:35 | 4861784 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

So I'll be bigger than Hitler!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:37 | 4861795 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

The empress has no handcuffs.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:40 | 4861811 Z_End
Z_End's picture

4-0 now!


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:41 | 4861820 smacker
smacker's picture

Ronaldo just about to stamp his feet in anger...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:41 | 4861817 smacker
smacker's picture

"Ja ja, zat'll taken ze smirk off ze face of Ronaldo".

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:42 | 4861822 ThroxxOfVron
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Holy Shit: Merkel has a raging hard on!


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:34 | 4862358 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Ja. Ostdeutsche can be that way.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:47 | 4861842 Jano
Jano's picture

If IMF would have a team there, IMF would win double digit every one game; IMF gave bribes to every government all over the world.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:55 | 4861869 novictim
novictim's picture

Historical Question (not related to fotball):

When was the first large alliance in war between German leadership and Russia?

(Hint: Way way before WWII)

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 16:54 | 4862689 Ludwig Von
Ludwig Von's picture

Saint-Helena... . :-)


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:58 | 4861897 Stinko da Munk
Stinko da Munk's picture

Eating cheese, drinking beer and making natural gas for Germany!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:00 | 4861909 Z_End
Z_End's picture

Germany wins 4-0!


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:00 | 4861910 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I'm not sure what the contest was, but the gentleman in the orange balzer appears to be the victor.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:08 | 4861945 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:19 | 4862000 AuAgPt
AuAgPt's picture

Merkel: Yes! Our currency at its finest. Feel that liquidity?

Dude in the back: Oh I feel it. (inserts finger into the guy in the middle ass)

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:20 | 4862003 Ace Ventura
Ace Ventura's picture

Portugese gave up when they lost a player to a Red Card around the 25 minute mark and had to go the remaining 65 minutes with only 10 players.

Works for the USSA because now we just have to beat Ghana and tie Portugal, and we're through to the Round of 16. Anything is possible, but I don't see us beating Da Jermanz (unless we play in a stadium where the temps will be mid-to-high 90s with 98% humidity).



Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:35 | 4862360 Two Feet Studs Up
Two Feet Studs Up's picture

If USSA wins tonight + Germany beats Ghana easily + a USSA/ Portugal draw =  Germans are through to next round and likely resting key players. 

THEN   Klinsi makes a deal with Merkel and Lowe to have Germans draw with USSA in last finish off Ronaldo & Pepe and send USSA through

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:20 | 4862005 Joe A
Joe A's picture

Rodney König: "Warum können wir nicht alle miteinander auskommen?"

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:36 | 4862366 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Nein. Papers please.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:36 | 4862070 Ghostdog
Ghostdog's picture

The EU teams have pretty much mirrored their economy.

Germany: The only ones that do anything
Spain: Old tired ideas and an aging population makes them quite feeble
Portugal: See above
Croatia: Getting in means they only want you to exploit you at the ass end of the deal. You still have time to leave
Greece: Data not availble: Well... it is but its... better to say its not.
Italy: Corruption will get you a few wins
England: Half in / Half out. Not in enough to get paid, but out far enough to make sure you dont get dragged down.
Der Netherlands: Are they even in the EU? No one is sure because you never hear anything from them
Switzerland: See above
France: A 90% tax rate will help you do a lot of things.. until it wont.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:02 | 4862198 CHX
CHX's picture

Switzerland for sure is NOT in the EU team, for now at least. 

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:43 | 4862411 Ghostdog
Ghostdog's picture

Ironic how the ones that dont bitch and complain & whine seem to not be in the EU...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 18:00 | 4862930 Reptil
Reptil's picture

On de (not "der") Netherlands.... yes the government is "into" the European Union.
However, the majority of the people do not want to have anything to do with the EU. The 30% participation rate in the last elections shows this.
Sadly, the politicians go ahead, for them alliances with other politicians are more important than the support of a populace that's not participating anyway.
At some point these two diverging interests are going to cause a friction. So... the EU gnomes are in a hurry; they actually want to build an empire on keeping the public in the dark while they "cement" their deals on paper. The TTIP-TAFTA is going to be the "coup de grace" (genadesteek in dutch) for the old Constitutional Monarchy. And the dutch public is just in the process of finding that out.

Before they were distracted again by the world cup of course... because that is what this is. A huge, schizophrenic distraction. Huge Architecture, mass populist entertainment, gladiators... ring a bell?

So, how important is Holland, the Netherlands, really? Have a look at finance; the Netherlands are, because of easy tax laws a haven for corporations and oligarchs to siphon their wealth. London and Frankfurt is where the deals are made, but Amsterdam is where the numbers go, never to be seen in daylight again. Rabobank is one of the banks in the LIBOR fraud, ABN-Amro was a big player internationally, before the maggots ate it's core out, eight years ago. I'd say this country is not the political center of Europe, but certainly one of the richest and most important ones as far as infrastructure goes, Large multinationals, Shell, Unilever etc., those decide what is the direction, biotech is big as it is the worlds' largest supplier of vegetable seeds, international transport is huge with one of europe's main seaports and a huge airport.

Oh yeah.. and then there's the Bilderbergers. Which was, and still is a royal dutch enterprise.
There's a "regentencultuur" which means a structure like centuries ago is still happening, a clique of men representing financial and economical interest call the shots, the government is just there to make it palatable towards the electorate. Backroomdeal (Achterkamertjes politiek) was invented here. The atmosphere in public is calm, friendly (with a few exceptions). This is in the interest of the big players, who all have some logistic HQ here. The control over everything is quite impressive, with CCTV everywhere, even in large stretches of forest on the border with Germany. Control over the mainstream media is tight and sophisticated. You could say it's a NWO model state.

I'm boycotting the footbal, but the last game they won against spain. Another history repeating? I wouldn't bet on it. ;-)

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:31 | 4862338 Perfecthedge
Perfecthedge's picture

But ZE GERMANS are still here in Portugal enjoying the sun & beach, until we have to sell out those too (see Greece, selling out the Beaches)...

...and then we will all finally be able to scream with them "SIEG HEIL", because that is what they always wanted. 

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:45 | 4862418 Ghostdog
Ghostdog's picture


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 17:30 | 4862826 Reptil
Reptil's picture

This is a good speech. Merkel POUNDED.
Sahra Wagenknecht about the EU crisis and the civil war in Ukraine

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