Caption Contest: Germany Uber Alles Edition

Tyler Durden's picture


With Germany taking a commanding (and somewhat shocking) 3-0 lead at half-time over European partners Portugal in the FIFA World Cup, the following image of the 'elites' enjoying the game could well be the analogy of the last few years...



Of course, adjusted for the weather.. and the looming re-bailout, Portugal are leading 4-3...


h/t @AFP

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Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:01 | 4861666 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

Argentina will have to call its team home.  No way to pay for their food.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:13 | 4861705 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Germany should pound Portugal into the ground and Argentina should just give up and default.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:19 | 4861721 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

You're talking militarily?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:25 | 4861743 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

NEXT, I Will Towel-Whip Their Asses ...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:53 | 4861866 agNau
agNau's picture

We whip "Weimar Style"!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:07 | 4861940 SoilMyselfRotten
SoilMyselfRotten's picture

Just becaue i celebrate like a dweeb......

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:16 | 4861983 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

now that those people are all in a little box, this would be a good time to begin their questioning

starting with: are you comfortable? would you like a glass of water? a cigarette? very good. let us begin.


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:26 | 4862026 SoilMyselfRotten
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Wasn't that the same reaction she had when W gave her a backrub???

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:32 | 4861765 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

Wasn't there a ZH article in the last world cup, saying whether the team won or lost (I think portugal or Spain), they would still need a bailout from the team they were playing against (Germany)?  I tried looking it up, oh well

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:49 | 4861848 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Yeah it was a Spain/Germany game and Spain won it. The bet was if Spain won Germany would have to buy enough Spanish bonds to get their 10yr below the 10yr UST. The irony was if Germany had won they would still have to get the Spanish 10yr below the 1oyr UST so it was sort of a riskless bet. 

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:21 | 4862007 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

Ahh that's right! For a sec I thought I was losing my mind there and making stuff up.  Funny stuff.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:32 | 4862346 walküre
walküre's picture

and see what happened ... Spanish 10 yr below US 10 yr

Spain can't afford to pay more. The money to buy the debt is fake, faker, fakest than ever.

ECB is in full blown Weimar mode but nobody's paying attention - yet

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:14 | 4861708 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

But, hey, the Malvinas belong to them, right?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:34 | 4861780 Tsunami Wave
Tsunami Wave's picture

As they like to scream:


Sooooooommmmooooossssssss... Arrrrgeennnnnntinooooosssssss!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:25 | 4861741 aVileRat
aVileRat's picture

It's cool. They will defect like the USSR team did after their gov's defaulted.

Excellent news for domestic reform and the energy industry in Argentina. Which in turn should further improve local governance & wage standards. One of my Kingdoms for honest Argentina inflation & employment statistics, or at least real currency markets.

Speaking of Germans, anyone else find it odd that out of all the deals Germany does with Russia on a daily basis, they want to take down L1 and the RWE transaction ? Not sure what they intend to get out of that one, DEA is still going to zero due to the stupidly skewed carbon credit fraud going on in France/German power sector right now. Not like yelling at Mikhail is going to suddenly change Putina's tune on arms sales or rhetoric, esp. given how much money he is promising to Pork into Paris starting in September.



Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:20 | 4861997 harlanaladd
harlanaladd's picture

Caption: "Squeal like a  PIIG ! "

(w/ apologies to Ned Beattie....)

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 16:43 | 4862632 Escrava Isaura
Escrava Isaura's picture


They [Argentineans] will just have to go to the 'favelas'. Favelados [people that live in Favelas] knows how to find food.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:02 | 4861669 madbraz
madbraz's picture

Anyone who stands next to Blatter is corrupt by association...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:14 | 4861707 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

Trying to see if Blatter's hand is in Platini's pocket...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 16:02 | 4862498 Carl Spackler
Carl Spackler's picture

Nope.  Blatter's hand is actually in the pocket of the Qatari sheikh to Platini's right (just outside of the picture).

Blatter has a "global" reach !

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:15 | 4861712 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

Good old Sepp.  Utter vermin .

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:03 | 4861672 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Wait, three goals? In a single match?


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:05 | 4861678 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I think the record is 4.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:31 | 4861761 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

In NFL terms, the current score is 21-0. Feel better? Less challenged now?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:48 | 4862129 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

The word you're looking for is "entertained."

Which could be achieved by replacing the ball with the red dot of a laser-pointer (without affecting 99% of any match).

Oh, and I did not junk you (as I find your smugness entertaining). Besides, you use Obummer as an avatar, which is far beyond any damage I could do to your reputation.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:54 | 4862355 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

I could replace 95% of a NFL game with porn since there's only 12 minutes of action in a 200 minute contest.

Don't even get me started on baseball.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:39 | 4861806 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

4-0 now. Or 28-0 in NFL terms or 32-0 with 2 point conversions.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:08 | 4861683 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

That's more scoring (on screen) than in the entire Twilight series - so I've heard.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:10 | 4861692 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

In half a match.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:08 | 4861687 Conflict of Interest
Conflict of Interest's picture

Merkel (holding hands *this much" apart), "Es ist mir Wurst!"  Applies to her opinion of Portugal's economy as well.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:13 | 4861701 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

Toi, toi, toi and "pressing her thumbs" to wish good luck on the economy and Gerhard Schroeder's continued employment by Gazprom.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:12 | 4861694 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

fuck that hound faced banker owned ho...

caption that.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:12 | 4861697 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

Merkel: we didnt give all that money to portugal for nothing.  or greece, or france or spain or ........

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:19 | 4861720 Watts_D_Matter
Watts_D_Matter's picture

Just try cuffing me you fools!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:22 | 4861730 pragmatic hobo
pragmatic hobo's picture

portugal and italy have the germans by the balls.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:28 | 4861749 Reaper
Reaper's picture

Danke von Mutti

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:28 | 4861752 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Das Bitch

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:38 | 4861756 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

3-0 is shocking? Germany missed a wide open shot on goal. Should be 4-0.

Germany has 11 of the top 100 players in the world. 6-0 would be shocking. 3-0, not so much.

4-0 now. Lol. And Germany has mainly been playing keep away in the second half.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:35 | 4861784 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

So I'll be bigger than Hitler!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:37 | 4861795 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

The empress has no handcuffs.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:40 | 4861811 Z_End
Z_End's picture

4-0 now!


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:41 | 4861820 smacker
smacker's picture

Ronaldo just about to stamp his feet in anger...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:41 | 4861817 smacker
smacker's picture

"Ja ja, zat'll taken ze smirk off ze face of Ronaldo".

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:42 | 4861822 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

Holy Shit: Merkel has a raging hard on!


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:34 | 4862358 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Ja. Ostdeutsche can be that way.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:47 | 4861842 Jano
Jano's picture

If IMF would have a team there, IMF would win double digit every one game; IMF gave bribes to every government all over the world.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:55 | 4861869 novictim
novictim's picture

Historical Question (not related to fotball):

When was the first large alliance in war between German leadership and Russia?

(Hint: Way way before WWII)

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 16:54 | 4862689 Ludwig Von
Ludwig Von's picture

Saint-Helena... . :-)


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:58 | 4861897 Stinko da Munk
Stinko da Munk's picture

Eating cheese, drinking beer and making natural gas for Germany!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:00 | 4861909 Z_End
Z_End's picture

Germany wins 4-0!


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