• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

GDP Negative: 64-Year-Old Meth Cook Arrested In California Retirement Community

Tyler Durden's picture


Walter White he isn't: just call him Breaking Bob.

According to AP, Fresno police have arrested a 64-year-old man suspected of cooking methamphetamine in his apartment at a retirement community. KFSN-TV reports Robert Short was pulled over as part of a routine traffic stop late Saturday and officers found meth in his car.

Investigators then went to Short’s apartment in the California League-Fresno Village, where they found a half pound of meth, heroin and materials for a meth lab.


Police say the street value of the drugs Short was carrying is close to $1,700. Officers also found scales and baggies in his car for the sale of meth.


Short’s neighbors at the senior housing facility say despite the tight-knit community there, they didn’t know Short, who kept to himself.


Short had been on supervised release for previous drug sales.

A video of the bizarre incident:


But aside from the fact that in a New Normal in which senior citizens are forced to cook meth in order to survive, perhaps a more salient question is how long until local police departments are told to stop busting drug dealers around the nation for fear of what that could do to US GDP growth?

Recall that as insolvent Europe has shown recently, in order to magicially and artificially, make its GDP appear stronger, one simply needs to "estimate" the positive impact of such illegal activity as prostitution and drugs, and add them to the national output.

With US GDP once again sliding fast and just one negative quarterly print away from an outright recession , it is only a matter of time before the US Department of Commerce adopts this latest methodology. And then comes the question: at what point will DEA busts of this kind be considered counterproductive to GDP growth?

Because while today's meth lab bust was tiny and its desappearance will hardly nudge "pro forma, Non-GAAP" GDP materially lower, what happens if and when a massive drug facility a la Pollos Hermanos is taken down: will the Deutsche Bank chief "economist" advise that net of drug busts US GDP was really substantially higher? Or rather make that when, not if...


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Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:27 | 4861746 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Slow news day?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:29 | 4861754 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Least he did not blow up house!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:40 | 4861812 gh0atrider
gh0atrider's picture


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:43 | 4861824 sleigher
sleigher's picture

The video showed white powder and not blue rocks, so no.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 16:56 | 4862699 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

Hope, meth, and change.


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:01 | 4861913 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:06 | 4861933 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

That explains the paltry amount of cash, he was taking bitcoin!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:14 | 4861971 gh0atrider
gh0atrider's picture

Just wait until the underworld discovers Bitcoin!  It's going to go into the stratosphere!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:14 | 4861973 Four chan
Four chan's picture

older workers are the only people who actually know how to do anything anymore.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 20:21 | 4863383 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

They'll be dead soon and the Queen won't have to worry about competition anymore.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 16:04 | 4862502 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Too much to hope for; but good guess; IMHO

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:22 | 4862013 JRobby
JRobby's picture

Total loss by explosion caused by illegal activity is not covered by homeowners insurance. Next claim..

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:33 | 4861775 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Some bullshit happening somewhere:


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:10 | 4861954 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

A good belly laugh:  Just the thing for a Monday morning!  Thanks.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:51 | 4861855 DblAjent
DblAjent's picture

NOT a fan of meth, but "routine traffic stop" always makes me suspicious. It's a euphemism for "we knew he had dope but lacked the PC for arrest. So we got him for not making a complete, 3-second stop at a stop sign."

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 17:30 | 4862820 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Social security just doesn't go as far as it used to.  Seniors, you need to get a skill.  Go to the Walter White Academy of Chemistry.  Federal student loans accepted.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:29 | 4861750 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

Lower start up costs for a meth lab than a ponzi scheme. Of course, a meth lab will get you 100 times more prison time than a ponzi scheme will.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:31 | 4861762 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

WTF is a 64 y/o doing in a retirement community?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:33 | 4861776 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

That is retirement age. I think you can take it at 62 but I am not sure. Also, this is a community, not a nursing home. Some folks in their late 50s opt for them. AARP starts sending you ads when you are 49. Big business.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:37 | 4861800 adr
adr's picture

Many places you can get fantastic deals on homes in 55+ communities. I've been seeing fantastic deals and then look further in the listing and shout FUCK.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:37 | 4861802 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Previous arrests and approved for rental

Retirement Village


Cooks meth in order to survive/pay rent




makes sense to me

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:41 | 4861818 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Maybe he moved back in with his 80 year old parents???

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:35 | 4861786 pods
pods's picture

Evidently making meth and selling heroin.

Bingo night will never be the same.


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:40 | 4861810 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

They'll be yelling bingo after the first number is called.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:40 | 4861814 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 20:28 | 4863393 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

Thanks to the DEA protecting us (and the Queen), it's no longer so easy to get a vicodin prescription for those old-age aches and pains. No prescription is required for the heroin.


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:54 | 4861874 SoberOne
SoberOne's picture

Ah parallel construction.  Thanks nsa.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:15 | 4862265 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Making Meth. WTF do you have a reading difficulty? what do you mean what was he doing ? He was a vital member of the aging gracefully community ! How the fuck do you think old farts play tennis and jog and shit ? Do you think when you wake up in the morning at 72, you feel like playing tennis ?? Huh, well, do ya ? NO. You feel like; why the fuck didn't I just die last night; now I have to go through all this shit all over again. We old fucks would be lost without our Meth. lost, I say; wait a minute, there's somebody knocking on the door--

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:54 | 4862153 New World Chaos
New World Chaos's picture

To all old people out there who have no assets and are worried about becoming homeless with nobody to care for you:  Consider the "three hots and a cot" retirement plan!  Federal prison is actually pretty nice.  Much kinder than the streets.  And it's free!  To qualify, all you have to do is commit a Federal felony that isn't a state or local crime, then narc on yourself.  There are a wide variety of bullshit "crimes" to choose from.  Everything from feeding whales to selling raw milk to lying to a Fed to cheating on your taxes.  You are already committing Federal felonies you don't even know about.  So buy a copy of "Three Felonies Per Day".  It might be the most cost effective retirement investment you can make.  As an added bonus, those who enroll in the retirement plan will survive the revolution and get a karmic blessing for clogging and bleeding the system and bringing the revolution one nanosecond closer.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:30 | 4861753 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

Notice how police always bust small manufacturers.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:45 | 4861833 sleigher
sleigher's picture

He is cutting into the cartel business.  Also see limited purchases of pseudophedrine in the US.  Really, a smart cook can use just about any amine.  

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:43 | 4862406 mumcard
mumcard's picture

Yeah those pharmaceutical companies don't like other dealers.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:30 | 4861757 shermacman
shermacman's picture

If hookers and blow can lift GDP, then meth should also. I know that Former Enron Advisor Paul Krugman agrees with me, ever seen the broken windows after one of those things explodes?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:14 | 4861969 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Meth creates bullish secondary GDP effects in dentistry. 

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:31 | 4861759 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I can't sleep anymore. On like 5 different channels at 4am is an infomercial called "breaking bald". Just a fyi.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:38 | 4861805 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I thought it was a documentary.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:48 | 4861846 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

You might have mixed that up with the new reality show, "Breaking Balls."

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:32 | 4861763 youngman
youngman's picture

We were probably subsidizing his housing too

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:32 | 4861764 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

$1,700 ain't much. Wonder if he had a SNAP card, if he collects retirement?

AIDS has gone up in nursing homes. Did so with the onset of Viagra usage.

Strange times, strange old timers will become the norm.

They are us, soon enough (unless you are already there).

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:54 | 4861821 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

I review medical records all day long and you would be surprised how many 70+ guys are ordering Viagra - which underclass providers like Kaiser/VA, candy-flipping vending machines that they are, are more than happy to prescribe.  Looks like a lot of these coots just keep hittin' that old grey thatch.  I guess it gives them something to do while they wait to die in Dullsville.  And those are the lucky ones.  I suspect a lot of these dudes just need something to masturbate with.  They have been left very, very poor and it is all they have.  That and cigarettes.

Ten years ago Mark Ames said Amerika had turned into part insane asylum and part nursing home; how right he was.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:21 | 4861896 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Sad but true....

That and a lot of senior homes are basically geriatric sex farms.... Lots of horny women out there, menopause does not cause their clits to fall out you know...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:23 | 4862307 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Glad you edited that.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 16:42 | 4862627 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Definately a whoops moment on the re-read...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:46 | 4862424 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

And you know this, HOW ? FREAK !!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:47 | 4862429 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Have Cialis; will trade for hydro-codone; PM me ? okay ? thnx.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:56 | 4862459 FredFlintstone
FredFlintstone's picture

If u want/need Viagra u should pay for it out of your own pocket. Can't afford it? Thems the breaks.
What's next, Botox and face lifts for all?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:32 | 4861767 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

Meanwhile, several tons of meth crossed our unprotected southern border today...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:32 | 4861769 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

"But aside from the fact that in a New Normal in which senior citizens are forced to cook meth in order to survive,..." 

Nah, the guy's just a careless serial crook, repeat offender who doesn't give a crap that he may cause an explosion in this otherwise "tight-knit retirement community".  Almost had a not-so-victimless crime, and I'm glad they got him. 

ZH really needs to tighten up on the propaganda credibility.  This piece of useless garbage was just sloppy, lazy, and thoughtless like a Tyler hastily banged it out while he really, really had to go take a dump. 

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:38 | 4861804 pods
pods's picture

Almost had a not so victimless crime?

Remember that line of thinking when the eye of Sauron gazes upon you.



Mon, 06/16/2014 - 20:10 | 4863347 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

You assume I am unfamiliar with the "eye of Sauron".  No. 

But by your implied logic, folks should be able to drive drunk with impunity and only pay for it after they have killed someone or caused significant damage, or that folks should be able to just pop off some shotgun rounds in an R-1 neighborhood as long as they can't be proven to have caused some harm. 

It is reasonable for folks to want laws enforced that will protect us from the reckless stupidity of others, including and in particular that "eye of Sauron". 

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