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Heads, You Lose

Tyler Durden's picture


Submitted by James Kunstler of,

Obama Pushes Iraqis to Mend Sectarian Rifts


— Headline, The New York Times

Have they tried diversity training? I doubt it. That’s not how things are done in the Shithole Formerly Known as Iraq (SFKI). They’re headhunters now. For the moment the ISIS hasn’t had the inclination to shrink any of their trophies. Their method for preserving the memory of all that is the smart phone video of decapitation posted on the Internet. So let’s skip the part where both sides talk about their feelings.

It all happened pretty quickly last week, but in case you haven’t noticed, Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall over there. The bonehead American news media affects to be too stunned to even ask the pertinent questions, starting with: is that all it took to undo eight years and — what? — maybe two trillion dollars in US-sponsored nation-building? Oh, plus 4,000 US dead and 50,000 wounded. So, my question would be: when do the political recriminations kick in? Pretty soon, I reckon, and when they do, expect them to be fiercely perverse. The theme of who lost Iraq? may cost more than who lost Vietnam?

How perverse is the loose talk of Iran joining forces with “the Great Satan” to support the Shiite-dominated government of Nouri al-Maliki. Prediction: not going to happen. Events are moving so quickly that the ultimate nightmare scenario is at hand: the ISIS penetrates the “Green Zone” surrounding the US embassy in Baghdad. They take hostages and commence systematic decapitations of American personnel. This is not something I would like to happen, mind you. Just saying. And the thought must have loosened a few sphincters down at the US Department of State, too.

You can be sure that Obama will be blamed both for pulling out in 2011 and then not going back to war, to protect our two trillion dollar previous investment. I have to imagine that distrust for civilian control of the US military by a corps of rising officers will reach never-before-seen depths. It may not be expressed right away, but the knock-on effects of political breakdown in the Middle East could go long and far in upsetting US politics. The defeat of Eric Cantor is just the beginning of what could be the unraveling of the federal system.

The Iraq fiasco already threatens to spike oil prices way beyond the $107 level of today. That will crush whatever remains of the US economy all over again. God knows what it might do to the financialized Rube Goldberg shadow economy of counterparty booby traps that overlays an abyss of unpayable debt. You can’t squash price discovery forever, and one morning you might wake up to discover that the price of all those shenanigans was your political heritage.

Oh, one more thing: not much attention is being paid to Saudi Arabia, but note that it has been the chief sponsor of Sunni insurgency everywhere but Saudi Arabia itself, and that the genie they let out of that flask will probably come back and tear that country to shreds, especially in so far as King Abdullah at age 90 is a virtual mummy, and that many other clans besides the Saud tribe have designs on the throne (and its mighty revenue stream from oil production). Add to that inter-tribal tension the possibility of an ISIS-style insurgency in Saudi Arabia itself, with righteous Islamic puritan warriors drawn from all over the region, and you have quite the recipe for a global clusterfuck. Surely a lot of things would get broken in the event. Given all the jealousy and ill-feeling and toward Saudi Arabia, it is a wonder that over the last 30 years no mischief-makers have, for instance, blown up the Ras Tenura oil terminal on the Persian Gulf. That would put the schnitz on global oil supply lines on a world war scale.

For the moment, it is hard to see how anything can be salvaged in Iraq. The ISIS may cause enough havoc there to shut down Iraqi oil production forever. They can start World War III. They can inspire insurgencies across the whole Islamic world and beyond. The caliphate they establish will then have to figure out how to support a population twenty times as great as the region truly can support with a medieval economy. Sooner or later, they’ll be selling shrunken heads in the souks.


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Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:49 | 4861850 jubber
jubber's picture

Only US markets could celebrate the fall of Iraq, and spunking $4 Trillion away

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:51 | 4861854 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Read 'Obama pushes' and stopped right there


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:53 | 4861862 madcows
madcows's picture

Pushes as well as he lifts weights.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:55 | 4861885 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



Sooo....I guess the war against terrorism is over now?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:02 | 4861918 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:11 | 4861963 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

Great writing style, love the approach.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:28 | 4862030 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Fine Young Cannibals   ISIS Greatest Hits...

Shia' drive me crazy (I can't help myself...)

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:40 | 4862093 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

M..m..m.. my Sharia!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:54 | 4862157 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I stopped reading as soon as I saw "Submitted by James Kunstler."

Why any Tyler thinks this kid's opinion has any relation to reality is beyond me.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:25 | 4862186 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture


After running guns and money to Al Qaida in Syria (which AQ assets have now flowed into northern Iraq) with the US State Dept, Hillary for Pres 2016 will be the hottest T-Shirt in northern Iraq.

Perhaps Tony Blair helping Hillary as special advisor on Mid-Eastern affairs.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:43 | 4862409 svayambhu108
svayambhu108's picture

|Only US markets could celebrate the fall of Iraq, and spunking $4 Trillion away

The system cannot take negative feedback, will trepidate and break. - Great Chief Law of Systems

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 18:29 | 4863020 Keyser
Keyser's picture

It's coming as the mussies just won't let it be, the Crusades 2.0 will be nothing like 1.0...  In 50 years, the religion of peace will be an idle memory or will be the dominate force on the planet... No in-between... 


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 16:25 | 4862573 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Don't forget the manpads.  At least one American helo crew has been shot down with a recent vintage Stinger missile that was verified by the military to have been checked out of inventory by the CIA.

Yes, Islamic rebels/terrorists/whatevers have been armed by the CIA and are using those arms directly against US forces.  This isn't stuff leftover from the 1980s.  This is now, today.  We are literally fighting ourselves and paying taxes and blood for both sides.

Now, go pay your taxes.


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:27 | 4862035 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

"is that all it took to undo eight years and — what? — maybe two trillion dollars in US-sponsored nation-building? "

I am confused by your question

it took us eight years and two trillion dollars to reach the point where our ISIS unit can do its job



Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:53 | 4862116 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

It amazes me that otherwise intelligent individuals cannot understand that a unified Shiite controlled Iraq is not in the stated MICC, Israeli/neocon nor the multinational oil companies best interests. Same goes for Assad in Syria.

ISIS weapons, financing, intelligence and even training were provided by ourselves, the Saudis and the Qataris yet somehow this is an organic sunni extremist insurgency that came out of nowhere... to destroy Syria first.... met up with some unexpected headwinds... and it is now threatening all the good we did getting rid of Saddam by trying to break up Iraq.

They desparately need new Hollywood scriptwriters to write a more believable story...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 17:35 | 4862842 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

"....all the good we did...."


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 23:45 | 4863985 conscious being
conscious being's picture

Syria, Iraq and Iran are being driven to cooperate to fend off their common menace.  Imo, they are likely to crush the ISIS cannibal crew and in the process make the Shia Cresent a political instead of just a demographic entity.

Another win for Vladomir.

Lebanon has a part to play in this as well.


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:28 | 4862036 BKbroiler
BKbroiler's picture

the writer's approach... douches

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:04 | 4861919 Slave
Slave's picture

Mark my words, TPTB want the War Party back.

This Iraq situation is gonna piss off sooooo many people and mid terms are coming. Red team already projected to win back Senate and keep the House. And then they'll implode the market in 2015/2016 and it'll be all Obama's fault.

Mark my words.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:28 | 4862039 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

Spot on

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:34 | 4862072 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

What do you mean ' want the war party back' ? That would imply they went somewhere and aren't in charge now. I don't know who you have been watching for the last 6 years, but the war party hasn't gone anywhere.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:44 | 4862108 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

WW1,2,Korea, Vietnam who is the war party anyway, you mean the repuglicrat party right..

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:06 | 4862216 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

 Look up Wilson, FDR, Kennedy and Johnson.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:33 | 4862349 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Especially Wilson; especially twice Wilson; I'd up tick you twenty nine times if I could for mentioning Wilson; because everything starts somewhere; there's always a first instigator; and Wilson instigated us into WW1; against the perfectly rational opnion of the American People who thought; Meh ? the europeans are haveing their period again; so waht? Thereby turning a problem into a history changing world shattering disaster. Nice Work; Wilson !

Wed, 06/18/2014 - 15:05 | 4870609 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Yeah if you read a bit closer I am blaming them...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:50 | 4862135 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

THe neo con message is being pumped out there loud and clear. Now that Maliki won't play shoeshine boy, and that the irregulat NATO arym ( ISIS, JNA, IF, etc ) are practiced up from all their work and support by the west in syria, why not let them go have some fun..


Now we can start talk about "partitioning" Iraq into 3, despite normal sunnis hating ISIS, or needing more military intervention.


THat's OK, Iran will help, so to the US, bussy up to them in image at least because that is your only hope. You blew your blood and treasure on a fake war on terror only to create a real war on terror while china, iran, and russia have risen.


I wish the wheels would just fall off already.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:30 | 4862337 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

I'll settle for them simply pulling their heads out of their asses and stopping the madness.

I just don't think that a new rising Eastern Imperialism will do any better for the average global serf than the Western one has...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:13 | 4861968 Freebird
Freebird's picture

Sure...the terrorists now have their own nation

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:29 | 4862334 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Who Won ? Is there a trophy?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 20:09 | 4863350 Idaho potato head
Idaho potato head's picture

Well they got some spiffy equipment out of it, I'd consider that a trophy .

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:38 | 4862084 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Pushes, as in pushes back into Reggie.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:52 | 4862148 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

Is Berri equipped with a back up alarm?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:47 | 4862428 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Even if he was, it would lie.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:57 | 4861891 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

More ass backwards reporting. If the west stopped supporting radical jihadis Iraq could not only be salvaged, but could prosper.


If you're talking as a western media mouthpiece and are saying "salvaged" in the sense of being aUS puppet, then probably no.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:36 | 4862073 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture


I don't see that Yellen's finger pressing the 'zero' key will get tired before adding it all back to the biggest bank's accounts so they can continue buying Tbills and stocks.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:52 | 4861859 madcows
madcows's picture

It's all Bush Jr's fault.  He got us into the war, and kept us there to do nation building.  I can hear the Bush blaming already.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:53 | 4861868 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

  If the fucking shoe fits, wear it...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:55 | 4861878 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

If only we had kept troops stationed in Iraq for a century, then we would have "won" the war.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:05 | 4861925 Crazed Weevil
Crazed Weevil's picture

If only we hadn't given a fuckton of weapons to an Al-Qaeda affiliate to fight in Syria only for them to turn around and use them on something else...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:11 | 4861958 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

It always seems like a good idea at the time.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:20 | 4862002 pods
pods's picture

That is the same line that I used one New Year's days some time ago!

She looked much smaller in the dark.


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:40 | 4862091 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

It's a great idea now for some people. Any weapons manufacturer is having a hayday with all this. On one hand, the govt buys weapons and gives them to the al quada 'freedom fighters' in Syria, but then once those guys cross a line on the map the become 'terrorists', and have to be killed, which means the govt has to buy more weapons. Then more 'freedom fighters' must be trained and armed, then killed once the cross that border. Round and round we go. Create a problem, then sell the solution. It's like the broken window fallacy writ large. Except with people's lives instead of windows. Krugman must have a raging hard on for all this. According to him, this kind of shit should fix everything.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 20:15 | 4863369 Idaho potato head
Idaho potato head's picture

And with the mega giveaway to pooleese here, it's gonna be a watershed year for the military arms trade, go long!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:52 | 4862146 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Only to FUCKING RETARDS in Foggy Bottom so dense that instead of forced sterilizations (for the good of the motherland) they should have been taken to the basement and shot.

Seriously, it's not like there aren't a lot of revolving door and permanent desk jockeys who don't personally remember how colluding with the Saudis against the Russians had "unintended" consequences before/during/after 9/11/01.

Sure, it was going to be different this time... instead of colluding against the Syrians with just the Saudis, someone had the brilliant idea of bringing in the Libyans, Qataris, and Turks, and who knows who else. These sorts of people should be prevented from making it to the Double Jeopardy round in the first place (see above). One would have to be Hitlery/Nudelman stupid to thing this was going to work out better (for anyone other than the MIC).

(your implicit sarc tag was duly ignored)

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:22 | 4862010 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

Indeed! In reality, this whole disaster lies at the foot of Obama and his CIA who decided to fund, arm and train Al-Qaeda in order to fight a proxy war against Syria. With no viable border between the nations and sunni Jihadists on both sides, it was only natural the arms and money would be used to fund a giant sunni Jihad entity, the very one driving on Baghdad right now. CIA at work again. The US fondness for alliances with A-Qaeda have gotten the Neo-con crazies at CIA into the business of being active funders and armers of ISIS.

Why do Americans allow the lunatics in State Department and CIA to keep their jobs, when all they do is fuck things up. See Ukraine for the giant fuck of the 21st century, all of which was cooked up by State Department and CIA.  These fools keep earning big paychecks from us taxpayers while they destroy the world with their crack pot schemes of empire on the cheap. The Syrian proxy war in which the USA is firmly allied with Al-Qaeda is the direct cause of the ISIS madmen taking over parts of Iraq.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 20:18 | 4863375 Idaho potato head
Idaho potato head's picture

On the cheap??

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:36 | 4862074 Jethro
Jethro's picture

Hindsight is 20/20....again.....and again.....and again....

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:14 | 4861966 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

Thats right! We won the war and then liberals pulled out the victorious troops. We won the Vietnam war, but just as victory became complete, the liberals pulled out the victorious troops. Now we see the victory in Afghanistan under threat as liberals are planning to pull out the victorious troops. Iraq is a model of how to fight and win a necessary war of defense against a real threat, the victory was complete and occupation had the nation on a path to peace and prosperity, until liberals pulled out the troops. Libya is a mess ONLy because liberals in congress refused to supply 100,000 troops to occupy Libya. So we see the real problem, it is not too many wars, it is too many liberals screwing up all the victorious wars. Who lost Iraq, Vietnam, Libya, Afghanistan, Syria etc. etc. It was the radical liberals who refused to support our victories and instead undercut the US war machine at every opportunity. ISIS is winning because Liberals prevented Obama from bombing Syria. How do I know? Well, I heard it on FOX this morning. What more proof can you ask for.

Iraq under Bush was a great American war victory, Iraq is being lost now because liberals are not allowing a second bombing campaign and invasion. Meanwhile in Syria, the CIA is pouring money, weapons and diplomatic support behind the radical Al-Qaeda Islamists. Since these same Islamists hold both Syrian and Iraqi border positions, the amrs and money flow both ways. Nobody in CIA seems to have figured out that Syria is a back door funding mechanism for ISIS. ISIS is using American money and arms supplied by CIA via Turkey.

Do all these wars make sense? When I was a little kid, America was up to it's lips in Vietnam. Billions on money and tens of thousands of men were being bruned up in this war in a place nobody even knew existed before the US inavsion. At the end of it, everyone was fighting over WHO lost Vietnam, as if it was ours to lose in the first place. The general agreement was according to what I read and heard that the USA had won the war, and then Liberals undercut the victory and lost Vietnam to the communist nationalists, the same communist nationalists that the USA now seeks as allies against a rising China.

Iraq is a symptom of what happens when the neo-con crazies run Washington. An rememebr who first called neo-cons the Crazies???? Yes, that's right, it was none other than Ronald Wilson Reagan, who threw them out of his administration. But now, uner both parties, the neo-cons have come back and run Washington from top to bottom. Reagan was right, but nobody listened to him, even he could see that they would destory America.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:16 | 4861981 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Y U hate 'Murica?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:25 | 4862025 madcows
madcows's picture

I'm a conservative.  I see no need to be fighting someone else's wars.  I'd rather spend the money on protecting our own borders.

I believe in a smaller government that enables prosperity, not suppresses it or redistributes it.  What is my incentive to work when all I do is try to climb over government made hurdles, and anything I have left is taken and given to someone that hasn't worked.

I believe in individual responsibility.  If no one is responsible, except the "government", then everyone will be irresponsible, and that's a recipe for disaster.

I don't think those beliefs are a bad thing.  So, when you slander everyone by throwing around the "Neo-Con" label, I think you're no different than any Lefty/Righty.  You just slander and name call.    Congratulations, you're just as dispicable as any washington pol.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:40 | 4862087 object_orient
object_orient's picture

Conservatives and neo-conservatives are different, thus the prefix. Neocons DO see a need to fight someone else's wars and are often liberal in their social views. They are also completely devoted to Israel. Does that sound like you?

edit: or did you completely miss the sarcasm?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:26 | 4862029 pods
pods's picture

Took two readings to discern sarcasm from meth-enhanced writing. Damn Mondays.

<gets more coffee>


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:32 | 4862064 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

You're so much faster than me.

Brilliant, Jack.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:01 | 4862188 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

The deadpan delivery really picked up since he changed his avatar

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:32 | 4862060 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture


Boris: Our subversion of the US Democratic Party is complete.

Control, Moscow: Excellent; fly home to Moscow, your mission is completed."

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:43 | 4862078 flapdoodle
flapdoodle's picture

Don't worry Jack, Jeb will win in 2016 and fix Iraq for good...

Actually, that gives me an idea - if things hold together long enough: Obama will be out of office in 2016, so maybe we could set him up as "Emperor-for-life" of Iraq in 2016, a new "Saddam-CIA-stooge" type guy to run the show...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:12 | 4862252 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

Reagan throw the neo-cons out of his administration?  In what alternative history theatre did this occur and was it before/after Reagan lied boldy and repeatedly about his knowledge & direct invovlement in Iran-Contra?

Granted Reagan's 2nd term was a sea change in his foreign policy outlook which alarmed the hawks & people who saw communist bogeyman everyone at State & in the DOD but he was hardly someone who willingly kicked out the neocons either. 

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:18 | 4862280 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

In all fairness, didn't Ollie North have to resign? Does that count as being kicked out?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:42 | 4862400 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Go check the sea level, or something; and get back to us later. A lot later.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:50 | 4862430 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

well we've stationed troops in Europe and Japan for 70 years, and in Korea for 60... maybe that's what it takes

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:57 | 4861890 Dr. Everett V. Scott
Dr. Everett V. Scott's picture

If there was a contest for the most despicable commenter on ZH, Flackmeister would win it hands-down.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:07 | 4861912 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

If there was one for the dumbest fuck to operate a keyboard your name would be in the running...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:24 | 4862009 Mark Urbo
Mark Urbo's picture

I agree.

He still thinks oil comes from dead dino's and that global warming is real science...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:29 | 4862043 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Not surprising...

To whit, Dead Dinos is the classic meme that Hedgetards display to show that they know fuck all about oil...

Where do I mail your Hedgetard membership card to?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:38 | 4862066 Mark Urbo
Mark Urbo's picture

You're all Flak, no brains...


..(i.e., All hat, no cattle)

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:39 | 4862086 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Keep lying to yourself, Hedgetard...

Unless you would like to surprise us with a lesson in Climate Science.

But we know that is way above your paygrade...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:55 | 4862160 Haole
Haole's picture

"Unless you would like to surprise us with a lesson in Climate Science."


Blowing bubbles in a glass of milk trumps your brand of  "Climate Science" any day of the week, at least it's real and not a corrupted abstraction.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:03 | 4862203 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture


You lose...

That was lame, even for a card carrrying Hedgetard like yourself...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:04 | 4862208 Haole
Haole's picture

Oh, so anyone that doesn't fall for your crap is a "hedgetard" now..?

You're pathetic.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:31 | 4862310 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Hey, I am not the one in denial about the conclusions of climate scientists...

Nor, do I believe that HAARP controls weather, that E-CAT will save the day, or that Chemtrails exist. Just to name a few...

I hold the same positions as most rational people that are not deluded by their ideology or ignorance...

So Hedgetards are what is known as a self-defining ensemble. And you are clearly a member of the group...

Now, are you going to explain the climate record of the past million years or so, or are you simply going to STFU and spare us your bullshit?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:32 | 4862345 Haole
Haole's picture

"... or are you simply going to STFU and spare us your bullshit?"


You don't know whether you're talking out of your ass or your mouth at any given time evidently.

You're completely and utterly discredited on here, may as well change your account and start over.

Follow your own advise.


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:45 | 4862422 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

You claimed climate scientists were wrong...

Put up or shut up, Hedgetard...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:34 | 4862071 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

God makes oil.

If we follow God's plan, we can all drive 1 ton pickups for as long and as far and as often as we want.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:44 | 4862112 object_orient
object_orient's picture

I wonder what the mix of up-voters is; those who liked the humor vs. those who took it literally and agreed.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:45 | 4862120 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

I swear that 25-40% of those up votes are from people that believe you are being serious...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:51 | 4862139 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

I think "Fight Club" is a euphemism for "Nut House."

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:04 | 4862209 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Notice that you only got junked after your snark was revealed in all its glory...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:20 | 4862295 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture

"I think "Fight Club" is a euphemism for "Nut House.""

I will wager that less than 50% of the People visiting ZH have ever been in a real few/no rules feet and fists fight; and less than 10% have ever been in a fight with knives, guns, etc...


Part of the whole idea of Fight Club was that a Person didn't know what made them tick without have been in a real fight of some kind.

Personally, I agree with that assesment.  ..Ergo; most People -even here on ZH- really don't have a fucking clue.



The 8th Rule of Fight Club is: IF this is your 1st time at Fight Club: YOU HAVE TO FIGHT.


STOP being pussies and breaking the 8th fucking Rule...& You might learn something about Me, You; -and what is really going on here.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:15 | 4862266 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

There is certainly a strong vocal minority of ZH 'Tard Hedge' that is virulently anti-science and believe in all kinds of crack pot nonsense and ridiculous BS (eg Earth is 6,000 years old). 

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:33 | 4862062 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

There was a fella on the other day who says Flak is a female.

Says he has the pics to prove it :)

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:37 | 4862081 Mark Urbo
Mark Urbo's picture

Just like Mooch's skirt almost blowing up...'s not something anyone should be forced to view.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:41 | 4862097 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Right on cue....

Again demonstrating that you are so far out your league, it is almost painful to watch...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:52 | 4862126 Haole
Haole's picture

That conjures-up some nasty imagery right away...

What is known as Flakmeister is now trying to repair it's reputation on here assuming people will forget what an absolutely programmed, AGW-pandering shill it is.  Anyone who believes that utter malarkey has zero credibility for knowing anything or is acting on an agenda, one ot the other in my opinion.   Hilarious really but I'm sure it'll have some inflamatory, insulting retort to glorify it's ego in it's own mind.



Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:58 | 4862172 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

It's fucking convention...

March of the Hedgetards!

By all means suprise us with your deep understanding of climate science, the ball is in your court, explain the Ice Ages of the past 800,000 years....

Go ahead....

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:02 | 4862194 Haole
Haole's picture



Please explain why abstract, manipulated data  bordering on religious programming inflicted on humanity under the guise of science is failing?


Go ahead...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:06 | 4862219 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Ball is in your court, you are one saying 2500 climate scientists don't know what they are talking about...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:09 | 4862225 Haole
Haole's picture

Climate change, naturally.  AGW, not so much.  The end.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:26 | 4862320 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

Opinions are like assholes... Funny how you just pulled one out of your ass...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:13 | 4862259 Mark Urbo
Mark Urbo's picture

I gave Flak his climate science lesson many times on this site and he keeps coming back for more...


I think his 6th grade teacher keeps messing with his mind and pushing the AGW indocrination on him non-stop.  Too much Kool Aid for the porr thing.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:30 | 4862336 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

The above is so pathetic, I don't know whether to laugh or cry...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:42 | 4862364 Haole
Haole's picture

Now you know how we feel at the sight of your nonsense.


You are completely discreditied here.  Change your account and start over.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:47 | 4862425 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:58 | 4861898 0b1knob
0b1knob's picture

If the shoe fits (or not) throw it at the idiots head....

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:28 | 4862038 madcows
madcows's picture

Instead of owning up to it, and saying we have no hope of stability in the region, and I refuse to kill more US soldiers and waste more money....  he'll cry and duck and blame.  He's not a leader, he's a con-man.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:45 | 4862119 Calmyourself
Calmyourself's picture

Damned Wilson and Roosevelt.. I just heard we are still nation building in Europe, who knew???

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:19 | 4862177 Haole
Haole's picture

@ Flakmeister - ""If the fucking shoe fits, wear it..."

I don't think they make disposable douche bottles big enough to fit over your head unfortunately...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:10 | 4861959 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

it will be interesting to watch a third Bush invade Iraq for a third time in 2016.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:48 | 4862130 object_orient
object_orient's picture

Operation: Resurrect Saddam

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:16 | 4862256 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

The second Clinton will do it quicker.  You will not be accusing her of being a woman weakling and that scares the hell out of me. I'm voting, Tree Hugger again. Save the Forrest, bitches.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:31 | 4862057 Bill of Rights
Bill of Rights's picture

There was another douche on another forum blaming Regan.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:20 | 4862277 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

I'll give you a two war spread and guarantee that Jeb will be president in 2016.  I've been yelling it since 2012.

This will defeat your premise and astonish the rest.

Bushes were installed for war, its not only tradition it's business - go ask the Supreme kangaroo Kourt.

...but then again you probably believe that incorporated mafia hasn't been entrenched in DC for almost 4 decades.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:53 | 4861864 docmac324
docmac324's picture

Five dollars a gllon, HERE WE GO!


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:05 | 4861876 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

If the USD looses convertability to foreign oil you will see at least a 10 handle...

Edit: I see the Flakmeister Fan club is out today... Hedgetards that can't handle the truth...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:08 | 4861943 pods
pods's picture

If the USD loses reserve currency status you will be seeing long pig before you see gas for sale.


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:18 | 4861994 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

I wouldn't make that bet, but you very well may be right....

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:23 | 4862019 pods
pods's picture

The terrible thing is that I wouldn't bet against it either.

Shit, look what happens when they run out of panties at VS during Christmas shopping.
What if we ran out of FOOD?

We might not be eating each other right away but bludgeoning each other for entitlement will be commonplace.


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:32 | 4862061 Jethro
Jethro's picture

"We"? If you reside in an urban area, then perhaps. I intend to be far, far away from that nonsense when the great unraveling begins to pick up pace. I'm betting on a slow, grueling decline, but preparing for the punctuated equilibrium version.

Societies don't typically decline well in the face of a financial/geopolitical disaster when they are homogeneous. We don't stand a chance in the US with all of our internal divisions.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:58 | 4862171 pods
pods's picture

No I don't reside in an urban area, but I am not 100% self sufficient either and am close enough to people that security is a concern.

I do have the BoB packed and the place where I would go IS as close to self sufficient as you can get but you have to know when to leave and you have to get there.

Two big hurdles that I do not put at 100% probability.


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 17:18 | 4862784 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

Well said.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:56 | 4862162 Postal
Postal's picture

Lack of panties is a good thing. Well, in certain situations anyway.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:22 | 4862301 MeBizarro
MeBizarro's picture

That assumes a complete and utter breakdown of any form of centralized control and seems to be a common refrain on here.  It won't occur due to an economic event either.  Never has and never would and it would take something along a mass pandemic or something even more extreme including global thermonuclear war.  

Modern grocery store keeps about 3-4 days of food stocked and the closes distribution centers would run out of food within 10-14 days.  I know someone who works in Logistics for a large national grocery chain & the complexity of it never ceases to amaze me.  100 years ago ahead very little especially during the winter which people consumed came from even more than 50 miles outside of where they lived. 

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:39 | 4862379 pods
pods's picture

That 3-4 days of food stocked is based upon current consumption rates.

Here in the South, we know what merely the threat of snow does to those calculations.

Funny thing is we picked up another 25 lb bag of rice and it was less than 20 bucks.  That is roughly 70k calories per bag that is easy to store and lasts a LONG time.

In preparing for the future I do not like to entertain the word "never" when planning for outcomes.


Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:21 | 4862008 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Edit: I see the Flakmeister Fan club is out today... Hedgetards that can't handle the truth...

No, Flake, you're just an insulting asshole who's club is a keyboard.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:48 | 4862075 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

If people say stupid shit that is batshit crazy wrong and they get called out and start insulting me, what the fuck do they expect?

If you would like me to be more civil, then maybe you should take assholes like this to task...

My mental image of FlakFRAU is that of that ugly cunts Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Michelle Obama, Janet Reno, Hillary Clinton, Madelline Albright and Janet Yellen...all morphed into one.

FlakFRAU, Is that why you, FlakFRAU, are so ashamed of being a woman, that you pretend to be a man?

You can console yourself, FlakFRAU, with the line that beauty is just skin deep. But it will not negate the truth that your ugliness is to the bone.

Go lick your own pussy as you are too spineless to write any truth, FlakFRAU.

Nidstyles...Call Ms FlakFRAU a cunt, as Col Klink did yesterfay, and see HER response.

But you don't, and that is all we need to know...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:48 | 4862127 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Flacktard, such an itelleckuctual that he doesn't know the difference between loose and lose (even when it's used in the title of the post).  Give'm a brake (sic) everyone!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:01 | 4862192 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

How ya doing Fucknuts? Did you replace that worn out copy of Mein Kampf yet? 

Tell us about how the Jews control everything and are resposible for all the worlds evil. You were really on a roll last time...

Shall I provide a link to refresh your memory?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:35 | 4862323 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

I'm going great!  Tending the garden, working the land, enjoying social events like Nazi reenactments. <<Joke of course  Never owned a copy of Mein Kampf or the Tora tora tora/Talmud.  Only once a copy of the KJBNV.  I gave it away to someone who would make better use of it.  Shoulda called me, I could have sent it to you.  Oh nevermind, I forgot. (Ok not really)

They do control a lot in proportion to their statistical numbers.  Not responsible for ALL the world's evils.  I have a vivid recollection of virtually everything I post.  I'm smuurt like dat.

Just wanted to stop by and say HAI and make my presents (sic) known.

Um Kay BAI pumpkin!

EDIT:  Oh, and thanks for asking.  Mighty caring of you.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 16:55 | 4862692 Flakmeister
Flakmeister's picture

I have to admit that you have the "play stupid" schtick down pat...

Did it take a lot of practice or did it come naturally?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 17:20 | 4862778 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Thanks, I have to practice playing stupid.  Whereas it seems to come naturally for you.

Thanks for playing!  La hu se her.

EDIT:  For consideration I figured I'd give that to you again in your spelling in case you didn't get it.....La huse se her.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:03 | 4862199 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Hi -

I have an English degree, too!

Somebody told me I wasn't fun at parties. That was like, 25 years ago. Never went to another one.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:05 | 4861928 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Craigslist bicycles: buy low, sell high.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:11 | 4862092 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture


used bike dealers; don't post in bicycles by owner!

I'm tired of wading through your over-priced junk.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:27 | 4862031 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"Six dollar gas and the Mexican Cartel killing anyone in the streets will call for Martial Law, sir."

"Excellent, minion. Proceed."

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:55 | 4861870 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Seems like just yesterday I was watching a clip from the BBC about how great it was that they were forcing the Afghans to put females in the Afghan army.  That will be a real shitshow when Obama starts funding and training the ISIS/ISIL Afghanistan branch.  Just saw the video on Youtube of Obama's boys in Iraq executing the police there.  Are we ready to see the rape/execution footage to follow?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:27 | 4862033 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

Funny! When the Soviet Union took over Afghanistan, the Afghan communist party put females in the military, in high government postions, all girls were allowed to go to school, business opened to women. The USA funded Taliban put an end to that. Then we come along, inavde and claim we did it to free women to enter the professional world. How funny is that!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:31 | 4862054 madcows
madcows's picture

I don't seem to recall the Soviets having success in the middle east.  That place is lost cause.  The soviets lost billions there, and eventually pulled out.  Bush Sr knew it, but Junior didn't learn his lesson.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:52 | 4862150 flapdoodle
flapdoodle's picture

Its all about making the middle east safe for Israel by creating around them a ring of chaos incapable of unity.

So what if it costs the US 2 trillion? Useful idiots are after all, well... idiots. Oded Yinon was no fool...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:12 | 4862254 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Bush senior understood that himself,, but his mistake was not spanking his son when he went marching in following president Cheney all ready to undo Bush Senior's "mistake"

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:55 | 4861880 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

I love how everyone loves to quote the  US 4k dead and 50k wounded,  Well what the fuck about innocent iraqis?  How many of them got blown the fuck away for a bunch of damn lies????

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:33 | 4862045 ajax
ajax's picture



@rsnoble: you can say that again. For over 11 years now the Iraqi citizenry have been blown up, run down, robbed, arrested, kept away from schools and all the other other 'normal' activities of life such as shopping safely for food etc. 

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:30 | 4862048 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

In American eyes, there can be no such thing as an innocent Iraqi. Being foreign and brown, their claim to innocence is unjustified. If we kill them in a war to liberate them, then they should not have gotten in the way. Like the Wiki tape of the Mini Van full of kids being machine gunned. Pilot says when told kids were in the van, "Well then should have stayed at home!" This refelects prefectly the fact that live is only of value if it is Israel or American. Or at least in the eyes of Israelis and Americans this seems to be the case.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 16:11 | 4862505 flapdoodle
flapdoodle's picture

Or how about the 1400 folks gassed in Syria... US Gov lost all interest in this when it wouldn't get its way in bombing Assad. Where the interest in seeing the real perpetrators bought to justice??

The real evil is that the Zionists will allow 1400 civilians to die gassed in a false flag to make Israel safer. Or 3000 New Yorkers.

From the serious to the absurd, Zionist propaganda movies like "The Monuments Men" with George Clooney won't hack it anymore. If good will towards Israel from the "holocaust" thingie were a bank account, I'd say its severely overdrawn.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:30 | 4862050 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

If it was even one it was too many.

Well... except for Uday and Quisay and their dad.  They had it coming.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:25 | 4862318 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

Who cares when the banks got TARP.

Seriously, quit making a humanitarian argument - the middle east ain't about people!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:55 | 4861881 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

The very intent is for the system to unravel.

Chaos, then the struggle, then the end.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:59 | 4861901 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Yeah but now the fucking idiots realize everyone has nukes and don't know how to keep from getting themselves blown up as well.  If it comes to that it's game over for everyone including the fucking clowns in charge of this circus.  

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:27 | 4862032 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

Everyone has nukes. Not everyone has a bunker under DIA.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:01 | 4861914 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

All Nation States destroyed, rise of Greater Israel. Few minds can accept this diabolical plan, even though it is unfolding in front of your eyes.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:06 | 4861929 SgtShaftoe
SgtShaftoe's picture

Not a chance.  I feel bad for the innocents and anti-war crowd though.  The state of Israel has bullied so many over the years, they may have some real problems soon. 

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:14 | 4861972 machineh
machineh's picture

When Kunstler refers to the 'medieval' economies of the Arab states, he is implicitly making an invidious comparison to the rich, modern economy of Israel ... which was created via the investment of about $250 billion [present value] of funds extorted from U.S. taxpayers.

Cutting off ALL the U.S. client states -- Saudi, Egypt, Jordan AND Israel -- would be the best investment the U.S. could ever make. But you're not going to hear that from Mr. K, who has a dog in this fight.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:15 | 4861977 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Ukraine=Iraq=Syria=Egypt=Libya Ukraine will not be saved, it will be used as a black hole to destroy Russia.  Wake up fools!

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 13:56 | 4861886 Millivanilli
Millivanilli's picture

Kind of fascinating watching cnn.  


Right now the headline is Tony Gwynn, Baseball player dead.

Iraq is melting down, the gas has been shut off to Ukraine, Libya is in civil war, Ukraine is in civil war, oil is up, and we get a dead baseball player story.


Of course, this is the way the game is played.  I wonder if the masses ever think, who decides what is news?

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:00 | 4861908 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Don't worry........some methhead that shoots another methhead will be all over the news shortly and proceeded by another anti-gun speech from Lord Obama.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:04 | 4861922 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

It was the evil tobacco companies who got Tony Gwynn, so that narrative will pander to the audience.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:05 | 4861931 Omegaman2211
Omegaman2211's picture

The truth is way, way, WAY too horrifying to report, apparently.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:29 | 4862041 Big Corked Boots
Big Corked Boots's picture

Bingo. If people knew what was going on, they might do something about it. Can't have that...

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 15:10 | 4862236 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

"When it gets serious, you have to lie." This may turn out to be the epitaph for representative government, as evidenced by the arc of historical events from Watergate to Fukushima.

Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:39 | 4862088 ajax
ajax's picture



"The truth is way, way, WAY too horrifying to report, apparently."

Not for Al Jazeera English - which is the only venue which reports in an intelligent manner any longer. 



Mon, 06/16/2014 - 14:09 | 4861951 SgtShaftoe
SgtShaftoe's picture

It is fascinating.  The band will play on apparently and the blow-drys will babble their unimportant bullshit until the power is cut.  In terms of a historical perspective, it shouldn't be long now. 

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