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ISIS Stunner: Terrorist Organization's Annual Reports Unveiled; Reveal Full "Investment Highlights"
In a day and age in which corporations rule the world, the brutal Al-Qaeda spin off known as ISIS is learning from the best, and as part of its credentialising and image-building has done something only major corporations do at the end of every year: it has issued annual reports for the past 2 years (unaudited, unless Ernst & Young has quietly upgraded from "massaging" the books for Lehman's Repo 105 and, of course, the New York Fed, without our knowledge).
That's right: as the FT reported earlier, "Since 2012 the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, (known as Isis) has issued annual reports, outlining in numerical and geographical detail its operations – the number of bombings, assassinations, checkpoints, suicide missions, cities taken over and even “apostates” converted to the Isis cause."
But while publicly traded corporations focus more on revenues, margins, and profits, ISIS has other key considerations:
In 2013 alone, the group’s report claimed nearly 10,000 operations in Iraq: 1,000 assassinations, 4,000 improvised explosive devices planted and hundreds of radical prisoners freed. In the same year it claimed hundreds of “apostates” had been turned.
Wait... are you serious?
Why yes: below are the "investment highlights" pages from ISIS' 2012 and 2013 annual reports:
And to think how many more assassinations and bombings ISIS would have achieved if only it wasn't for the damn "polar vortex"...
But why is ISIS not only documenting its every single act, but boasting about all of its terrorist achievements? According to the FT the purpose of releasing 410 pages full to the brim with the terrorist group's exploits, is simple: "Isis’s aim appears to be to demonstrate its record to potential donors." Which means that the glossy excerpted pages shown above are indeed nothing more than investment highlights!
The reports paint a picture of an organisation that analysts say is not so much the ragtag terrorist band depicted by Iraqi officials but more of an organised military structure with a clear political strategy to set up a Sunni sectarian state – and one with several of the hallmarks of a corporate entity.
“The reports provide measures of performance in the way you roll out details for donors,” said Jessica Lewis, director of research at the Institute for the Study of War. “They affirm that the organisation operates like an army and that it has state-building ambitions.”
Virtually every aspect of a conventional annual review is included: Nigel Inkster, former assistant chief of UK intelligence service MI6, and now director of transnational threats at the International Institute for Strategic Studies, said: "They produce [them] almost like a company, with details of martyrdom operations and targets. You have a clear overlay of structure, planning and strategy to the organisation."
One wonders: how does one differentiate between suicide missions and successful assassiantion attempts on a GAAP vs non-GAAP basis? The answer is unclear, but what is clear is that the modus operandi of terrorist organizations has changed drastically from the days of Osama bin Laden living in caves in Afghanistan.
Isis is the successor to the group that was known as al-Qaeda in Iraq and was so brutal in its methods that it drove Sunni tribes, with help and financial incentives from the US military, to turn against it in 2006. Isis learnt a lesson. “Isis decided the solution was better military power and that it should be a harder version of al-Qaeda,” said Ms Lewis.
And yet the group has adapted to new modern methods of spreading its message. Deft use of social media has been at the forefront of its campaigning tactics in Syria and Iraq. When it comes to using platforms such as Twitter, Isis is “probably more sophisticated than most US companies,” says Aaron Zelin, an expert on jihadis and fellow at the Washington Institute.
...
Isis’s use of social media has been one of the main reasons why it has become the single most popular organisation for fighters from foreign countries – including an estimated 2,000 from Europe, according to estimates from western intelligence agencies.
So ISIS is great at creating real (and probably fake, purchased in Bangladesh) Twitter followers, but what really matters at the end of the day, just like with every self-respecting corporation, is whether ISIS has the funds and can generate the income the sustain its terrorist operation.
And it is here that ISIS truly excels. As we reported last week, ISIS is now the richest terror group ever after it looted over $400 million from the central bank of the Iraqi city of Mosul - the first town it overran with virtually no resistance as part of its Blitz offensive.
"In financial terms, 2014 has been dramatically successful for the group, after fighters looted hundreds of millions of dollars from Mosul banks. According to the Council on Foreign Relations, Isis was already extorting taxes from businesses in Mosul before its takeover, netting perhaps as much as $8m a month.
While these achievements will be revealed in the upcoming ISIS' 2014 anual report, we wonder: will they be classified as recurring, or as all those GM recalls and JPM lawsuits, be deemed "One-time", "non-recurring."
In conclusion: ISIS has the balance sheet, it also has the cash flow, it has the weapons inventory, the property, refinery plants and bomb equipment, and the terrorist churn. It also has a glossy 410 page annual report for the Terrorist Fiscal Year Ended 2013 (which at more than double the pages of the 2012 report means business has never been better).
All that is missing is an IPO and a Conviction Buy rating from Goldman Sachs.
The full 2013 report can be found below (pdf)
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Almost too convenient to believe?
Bet they don't use mark to market either. ....
So is Malory Archer the Chairman of ISIS, still? I haven't read their annual yet.
Does it show if they made a profit on the sale of coke back to Colombian drug lords?
Mwah ha ha haha ahhah aha
When is the IPO?
Already happened, only open to the Saudi's and their friends.
Same venture capital funding as Google
Unaudited! 'Nuffsaid.
the few the proud the cavemen.
bullish
Wake me when they are ISO-certified. I need flowcharted workflow diagrams, real defined processes, definitions of methodology, etc. Until then, they are just a bunch of grab-assers.
I wonder how the boys over at Southern Poverty Law Center feel about this...
13th tribe shit-stirrers love stuff like this.
So the soap opera has a big new character indroduced. The back story is laid, now where is storyline headed?
... and have six sigma black belts on staff
so if army generals go short ISIS before airstrikes is it insider trading?
No. You see... they are on the government payroll. Therefore, they are exempt from all insider trading. My question would be, are they required to pay taxes on the gains...
Either you got lucky or you know your Islamic history, 4chan. Rather witty either way!
;)
(Mohammad lived in a cave in his "formative" years.)
Amerikan CIA response to the report...
"Gee, thanks... we had no clue!"
"We and our FBI and DHS compadres have been too busy...
investigating conservative and patriot groups for the Obozo Admin to have this on our radar."
ISIS -- Giving their "investors" more bang for the buck!
Guess with all the CIA bailouts, this is another corp that's too big to fail.
http://www.wnd.com/2014/06/officials-u-s-trained-isis-at-secret-base-in-jordan/?cat_orig=us
http://www.wnd.com/2014/06/officials-u-s-trained-isis-at-secret-base-in-jordan/?cat_orig=us
So Goldman missed the train this time?
No chance. They'll have a tentacle or two in there.
No kidding, and for them to put this out they have major support.
Yep thery were ALLOWED to march into Mosul by Obama's military with no resistance from the air and no forewarning to Maliki for the Iraqi's to try to stop it just like there won't be any costs for raiding said Central Bank by the financial community through freezing of accounts and other anti-terrorist money laundering measures. That should tell you who is backing them.
I'd love to see the their money movement logs in the SWIFT system. TPTB know and by doing nothing they are implicitly giving consent.
Better watch out for hostile takeover. Doesn't Zuckerburg still have a full warchest?
you'd have to be the dumbest MF'r drooling and playing with you ca-ca in some dark corner of your mother's sub-basement to believe this silly propaganda.
here's my entry: "Bin Laden Resurrected from Cells harvested from ill-tempered seabass turds; news at 11"
If we could only get them to use Corzine as their broker.
Or give them GM management. ISIS gone bankrupt in 3..2..1.
ISIS recalls suicide vests due to faulty switch.....
Malory is a drunken old hag.
C'mon....these guys are nothing....think how awesome the US MIC infographic would be....i can see it now...
130 countries occupied with US bases
$ X trillion budget wasted propping up decaying empire
XXX million innocents killed since 1913
X wars started under false pretenses
Ad naseum....
Would be a thing of beauty, I tell ya...
Shame we don't have an organization in place that has the surveillance capability to sniff an organization like this out.
They do optimise their bang for the buck
Most of these guys don't even know how to use a razor.
I beg to differ sir. They believe in the "deep slash" method, as opposed to the "scrape and pray".
Not a chance...they use Mark to Fantasy...just like all respectable western commercial concerns.
When is JPM & the Fed going to start shorting this bitch ?
Thats called a hedge.
I think you meant reverse merger!
"Almost too convenient to believe?"
Yes.
Total Bullshit...
Extreme Bullshit. In all of this have not seen one mention of Israel. They have no opinion on the matter? Only they benefit from US playing both sides of this.
You've gotta hand it to them. "ISIS" sounds intimidating, like a secretive organization of super-villains in a Bond movie. The branding is much better than most terror groups. What the fuck is an "al Qaeda" anyway?
ISIS™ — ask for it by name.
ISIS....sounds like a rash you get on your balls that never goes away, especially in the heat
Crazy like a fox.
Roughly, "al Qaeda" is Arabic for "the base", as in a military installation.
I thought it was "The (data) base" since it was a notebook with a list of contacts for the foreign fighters that fought the Soviets in Afghanistan.
"Look for the ISIS label"!
Isis = Goddess of ancient Egypt
The ultimate fuck you symbol to the dark patriarchy that currently runs the world...too bad this current Isis doesn't represent any of that at all. This ISIS is probably very similar to the symbology of putting Andrew Jackson on the 20$ FRN.
If half of the propaganda, photos, and video are true, then one can conclude that this is one gaggle of serious vicious bastards.
We should have left once Saddamn was hanged. Not our problem anymore.
Never should have gotten involved in the first place. Saddam may have been a bastard, but he was a secular bastard, and kept these religious psychos in check.
http://www.wnd.com/2014/06/officials-u-s-trained-isis-at-secret-base-in-jordan/?cat_orig=us
Was that Johnny McCain at a party on page 62 with Lindsey Graham in a dress and her date was Chuck Schumer? ISIS = George Soros LLC.
These guys are more media savvy than entire GOP apparatus!
More productive too.......
Not even close to there kill count of the GOP, amateurs...
Sponsors want to see what they're paying for.
ISIS has a whistleblower?
Move over, Snowden.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Emdzsz_XvfA
Maybe the CIA can print an annual report on how much money it counterfeits each year and how much it makes from drug sales. And how much it spends on controlling the media (Operation Mockingbird).
http://www.globalresearch.ca/experts-suggest-the-cia-not-kim-jong-il-is-...
http://rt.com/usa/usa-cia-drugs-poor-americas/
Same report.
at 410 pages, the pdf was a quick read.
How long before they start operating their own central bank, such as the very first thing that happened when Libya was toppled.
Then again, that $425 million may be the "seed money" for same.
Ha, beat me to it...
Winning............. Goldman could put an end to this year's string of Ho-hum IPO's with this puppy!
This only further confirms that they are being run by someone. Who knows what organization is running them behind the scenes, but whoever it is must be well-organized. Only a bureaucracy could come up with this kind of shit.
Who will eventually benefit from a destabilized Iraq?
These terrorists already rooted themselves in Syria and Iraq and this clusterfuck has a great potential to spread to Jordan on the west, Turkey on the north, Iran on the east and Sauds on the south.
It shouldn't surprise anyone when some of those start establishing "buffer zones" to protect themselves in a totally justifiable "self defense" preemptive action. That would mean the entire middle east map redrawn, creating new "opportunities" for "advancement" for the spoiled friend of the bully on the block.
Where do you think wealthy arabs go to school? Harvard, Yale. They don't need to neccearily need to be ran by an outside entity, they could simply have their own MBAs, social media consultants, etc.
The sad thing is I trust their numbers more than I trust the fucking BLS, and all the other BS alphabet soup U.S.gov. propaganda goons.
This is uncanny. Just this morning I was thinking of proposing something along similar lines. I was thinking of writing an open letter to al-Qaeda saying:
"While I certainly profess no approval for your causes or methods, I was wondering if you'd do us normal Americans a favor. If you're going to be terrorizing people anyway, would you please document and film your exploits (perhaps with embedded, third-party journalists) so that OUR STATE DEPARTMENT WILL STOP LYING TO US?!"
Are they registered on the New York Stock Exchange ?
No, the NYSE is a manipulated market infested with HFT, far below their standards.
Are Elon Musk and Eric Schmidt on the board? Maybe Sir Richard Branson can invest and he can do their PR.
Can we see the Related Party Transactions section?
Sorry, got to be a shareholder to see the Quarterlies.
Its the one time charge off of Goodwill that I ain't buyin and besides where is your shell and multiple holding companies that they taught you at HAAvard. Did'nt Jeb teach you anything? Rookies
Are they on NASDAQ?
You know what a stickler the SEC can be.
WHAT THE FUCK????
Like they say, you can't manage what you can't measure.
Their books aren't cooked as long as our government's are.
HFT on terrorist groups is obviously the next logical step.
WOW!
This is rather like how a mercenary army for hire would present itself, yes?
Reminds me of Cobra: http://gijoe.wikia.com/wiki/Cobra
what the definition of is is.
All the hallmarks of a Harvard graduate.
http://www.humanevents.com/2005/12/28/when-harvard-met-saudi/
they are a phantasm bogeymen for the medicated that have already forgot or never remembered the iraqi army and the incubaters.
the colon puss powell mobile chemical weapons labs.
the liar blair iraq firing missiles at the uk hitting london in 45 mins.
the video is shit the fotos are a bollox joke.
peaking via the msm for the usual problem reaction solution.
these cuntish white sneaker pimp actors are direct from langley and tel aviv funded by the jewish house of saud trained in incirlik turkey and jordan.
they could not last 2 weeks toe to toe with hezbollah it is all feeding frenzy chatham house neo con bollox
jewish leader of the uk cam moron has already stated isis is a direct threat to the people of the uk and people are buying it.
these psy ops work you gotta hand it to the freaks at tavistock institute they really understand the country of the mind.
ahhh yes,
the only surreal e-state that ever matters
in the end.
Madison Avenue propaganda (counter propaganda?) advertising glories of death and distruction... REAL WEAPONS OF MASS DISTRUCTION (DISTRACTION?). WHAT A POS Edward Louis Bernays uncle, Sigmund Freud ARE. .
So Blackwater finally has some competition.....
OT: What happened to the ZH Manifesto? Link disappeared from the masthead.
http://www.zerohedge.com/about same place it ever was, don't know why the link isn't present
The page is gone now too. Last viewed version here:
http://pastebin.com/Rpxd08t0
our mission:
our method: pseudonymous speech...
anonymity is a shield from the tyranny of the majority. it thus exemplifies the purpose behind the bill of rights, and of the first amendment in particular: to protect unpopular individuals from retaliation-- and their ideas from suppression-- at the hand of an intolerant society.
...responsibly used.
the right to remain anonymous may be abused when it shields fraudulent conduct. but political speech by its nature will sometimes have unpalatable consequences, and, in general, our society accords greater weight to the value of free speech than to the dangers of its misuse.
- mcintyre v. ohio elections commission 514 u.s. 334 (1995) justice stevens writing for the majority
though often maligned (typically by those frustrated by an inability to engage in ad hominem attacks) anonymous speech has a long and storied history in the united states. used by the likes of mark twain (aka samuel langhorne clemens) to criticize common ignorance, and perhaps most famously by alexander hamilton, james madison and john jay (aka publius) to write the federalist papers, we think ourselves in good company in using one or another nom de plume. particularly in light of an emerging trend against vocalizing public dissent in the united states, we believe in the critical importance of anonymity and its role in dissident speech. like the economist magazine, we also believe that keeping authorship anonymous moves the focus of discussion to the content of speech and away from the speaker- as it should be. we believe not only that you should be comfortable with anonymous speech in such an environment, but that you should be suspicious of any speech that isn't.
aaaand, it's gone.
http://oi58.tinypic.com/20h56xc.jpg
Obama went over their business plan and resumes when he hired them in Syria. The bastard that leaked them to the press will pay dearly.
Don't mean to be insensitive, but these guy actually look like a real 'bang for your buck' investment.
Hell, how many investments nowadays can generate a 'newly carved out nation' in its growth prospectus.
Will the possibility of gaining oil assets be in their next 'risk assessment' and 'key growth' statements?
<morally repulsed but potentially interested>
M&A BITCHEZ!!!
Is GARTMAN buying?!
He is short of islamofascists by 2 units, long of islamocorporates an equal amount, on good FATCA recordkeeping.
I am not sure how to react. I have been caught off guard.
Let me get you up to speed.
On the surface, there is a GOD. Now, this entity has given some kick ass promises to various groups, and each one, not knowing what GOD really thinks, is killing the other groups to spread the RIGHT MESSAGE. God, the all powerful, omnicient creator of the infinite universe, is especially smitten with the speck called Earth, however, HE,SHE, IT, doesn't want to "get too involved."
It is this fairy tale that we find ourselves in. Slaps forehead.
'...however, HE,SHE, IT, doesn't want to "get too involved."'
Whatever.
You still live in your parents' basement? You still want them or the gov to run your life for you, hand you every answer on a silver platter?
No?
Then grow up.
Not following you, duuude.
Every body loves god but nobody wants to die. Gotta run around killing people to spread the right message. You too dumb to get the point? Don't answer.
BTW the right answer according to the US is to spread freedumb and democracy. That's what god really wants. Then we can be judged and sent to eternal bliss or hellfire for exercising free will according to the message god told us to follow.
Now, fuck off.
Judging by your answer, your inability to follow is not a surprise.
As for the US "spreading God's word", I sure have seen a lot of "diversity" lawsuits specifically against any display of Christian symbols, so it seems like they are just spreading shit and calling it Shinola.
People who crave power will say anything, do anything they feel they can even remotely get away with to gain more power. Doesn't matter if it's the Bible, the Qur'an, or Michael Mann. This has happened since at least the beginning of recorded history, and it was probably an issue before then.
As for knowing what God thinks or wants, you seem to be living in your little atheist church (they do exist) a bit much. In a different time you'd be a snake handling, speaking in tongues True Believer of something else.
ok.
Pay you a nickel for a full translation. 410 pages? Prolix bastards.
"Flushing out the covey."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYJfn26kLvI
we'll pick 'em off one by one "all the way back to Beirut."
It'll take some time but we'll be much better shots once we get to "final battle."
GAAP or non-GAAP?
Shariah. You can kill your business competitors and threaten likewise your auditors, so long as you don't charge anyone interest in the process.
So you're saying the numbers are good?
Bullish!
"Little CIA"
Wait til he grows up.
Uh, I'm not sure if this fits in with the investment philosophy of the $10K I just put in the Human Slaughter Fund A Shares. I'd better check.
I think they trade on the NASDAQ, ticker is BOMB
Alright, I admit it, I'm impressed. I'm totally amazed by humanity and how we've managed to get this much "What the actual fuck?" out of a few score of elements and a big input of energy.
I just come down from mushrooms, load up Zero Hedge, see this, and I can only think; "This is 2000% weirder than anything I saw tripping. Hell, tripping is normal compared to this."
Eris damn.
At this point I am curious if this PDF comes with some zero day exploit embedded to gather senstive intel on unsuspecting readers.
Call me a cautious skeptic who pays attention to recent spear phishing events.
BULLSHIT.
Is this provided by the same idiots who came up with "Gene Rosen's" backstory?
How, pray tell, did they "loot" 400 million USD from a bank. Was is digital? Or literally pieces of paper? Is that shit really that easy to "loot?"
Shit-crock. Please tell me more about "Robbie Parker."
Funny you should mention that. Check out the green screens they used at Sandy hoax. Man, I don't know what to say except shit is fucked UP!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbGfYMBh5Fo
Wow.
Edit: Dude, that's it. The end. That video is damning. Sandy Hook was a full-on hoax. Check out the woman who walks through the planter box.
BTW that Max Malone guy had done a really good video on the Kenyan mall shooting hoax also.
Yeah, Sandy Hook was quite the production. Ole gene rosen was taking care of kids according to 3 different stories and at the fire station walking around in circles. The big lie at work.
They must have taken tons of footage of the FEMA exercise for use in the "real" event.
You know, I don't even know what I'm looking at. Is this a hamfisted attempt by the CIA to goose ISIS' market share with a slick prospectus like the financials goosed America's economy? Is this a genuine attempt by an guerrilla force whose only real level of organization at all is propaganda to aggrandize itself? I don't know. Does anybody? Is there even an observable difference?
How much of Irags 31t of gold was in mosul?
ISIS is way behind the americans in the race to kill.
In the report's section on Environmental Stewardship they indicate their goal is to reduce their overall carbon footprint by reducing the local populations....brought to you by the same bankster Jacobin demons who introduced China to an illustrious eco-warrior by the name of Mao Zedong....
I'm surprised recriuters haven't poached ISIS senior management and placed them at Monsatan, JP Morgan, Occidental Petroleum, HP, etc.
And which bank will be handling their money laundering needs...HSBC perhaps?
The sad part is because the Fed is not actively engaged in their market (yet) their numbers are probably more believable.
Team MISO you really outdid yourself on this one.
Take a long weekend and grab a Monte Cristo on your way out.
Red Shoots!
Professional. Just find out when the next annual stakeholders' meeting is and kill them. Don't be surprised to find some well known supposedly friendly parties there as stakeholders.
Just another act in the planet shit show
Looks and sounds like the IMF.
Should I invest in this or Somali pirates?
IPO?
Did they get their name from that 70's TV show?
Can they whoop Bigfoot?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-ZNf9j8FUs
Inquiring minds want to know....
I wouldn't want to be a taxcollector over there.
The Fall of Iraq - What You Aren't Being Told - http://bit.ly/1nOyZv7
These ISIL rugheads will be bombed when oil reach $150. Meanwhile they still have $40 to play.
is this already part of US GDP?
There was a small report about a bill/records found at a battlefield. Itemized down to small things like coffee. about a month ago . Whats really funny is without those receipts, their books will not Balance.......hahaha
http://www.thewire.com/global/2013/12/al-qaeda-are-strict-about-keeping-track-their-receipts/356552/
No problem. You just make an adjustment and log an entry for undeclared expenditures...petty cash...records destroyed in battle. You can cook the books a bit.
Hell...The US Government cooks their books. Shit...They cook their books for TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS. If you do not remember the Books that demonstrated $2 Trillion Dollars that went missing in DOD expenditures were destroyed at the Pentagon on 9-11-01.
I wonder if ISIS is planning do do a crowdfunding event online. This may be the prospectus for that event.
I can see only a small difference to the USSA government: the Numbers of USSA government report are higher.
Bombproof business! with explosive growth prospects...
Murder, Incorporated.
Its already taken, the US trade marked in decades ago.
That makes it sound like the Catholic church back when Popes ran the show and had their own financial resources (tithes); aka Innocent III and 1215. When the Vatican was truly king of the world.
The ISIS is the Templar arm of this Sunni Meccan church just like the Templars worked for Mr Pope and his harem of Cardinals, doing God's work amongst the dirty, crumbling stones of Jerusalem, the symbolic church on the hill, but in reality looking for the riches of the Spice and Silk routes, like the world's oldest banksta network (In Templars I TRUST my ill gotten wealth to enter heaven!).
Urbi and Orbi is now Jihadistan.
And black gold discovery; the biggest and richest pot at the end of the global rainbow; and Saud/FDR handshake, as follow up to Ottoman empire carve-up, makes US Oligarchy tied into the new Gordian knot (Oh the Kissinger to GWB/Cheney years of petrodollar wine n roses).
Who will cut that dystopian knot gone sour since 9/11, when Frankenstein turned on his masters?
I love Israel's cameo.
/sarc
If you are really into cameos of historical relevance you should read this if you can find it :
Treatise of the Three Imposters. In 1239 Pope Gregory IX correctly ascribed the original work-- de Tribus Impostoribus-- to Emperor Frederick II, an avowed enemy of papal hegemony, in name of "Kaiseridee" : the claim to Imperial supremacy in Italy launched by the genitor of his lineage of Hohenstaufen that caused the Guelf Ghibelline civil war over two centuries.
No hard copy of De Tribus was ever found, although all during that age knew it was the work of Frederick and his prime henchman and Chancellor of Sicily Pietro de la Vigna.
So.. the Satanic Verses of our age had their origins that date back to 1231... and, nobody out of the three Abrahamic religions was spared!
Salman Rushdie is today's cameo of Frederick II and Ayatollah Khomeni was just a latter day copy of Pope Gregory IX!
How's that for measuring the collective obscurantist regression of our day and age?
And, can you hear those bells chime that History rhymes?