President Obama To Explain 'Everything' - Live Feed

Tyler Durden's picture

Quite frankly where do you start? We are sure there will be congratulations for the capture of the Benghazi ringleader (an interestingly timed distraction) but what the President will be asked (if we have a press corps) are: why Iraq wasn't his fault, how 275 boots on the ground are not really boots on the ground, will the US partner with Iran to 'fix' Iraq, and what about new reports of Syria using chlorine gas? Not to mention lost IRS emails, the VA debacle, government-sponsored civilian deaths in GM cars, and of course, how Seattle raising minimum wages will increase jobs?


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101 years and counting's picture

i cant even stomach the sight of that worthless sack of shit.

Buckaroo Banzai's picture

"We are sure there will be congratulations for the capture of the Benghazi ringleader..."

Wait. They finally arrested Obama????

ParkAveFlasher's picture

Nice crew.  Looks like they lined up for a free gourmet taco and meet the Preszdint.

RevRex's picture

Maybe Obama the sack of shit could tell us how it is possible that the IRS ONLY lost the emails of Lois Lerner and the five other Obowelmovement terds under investigation for abuse of power......

dryam's picture

Explain everything?

"The economy is one giant ponzi.

The U.S. foreign policy is one giant cluster fuck, and is motivated by one thing: oil.

Everything I say is a lie, except for this confession.

My main agenda when I became president was to engineer reparations the best I could.

I'm creating a total police state in this country and there's no one that can stop me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a tee time."

Pool Shark's picture



"We are sure there will be congratulations for the capture of the Benghazi ringleader."

What? They captured Hillary Clinton???

 [Whoa! Is that a nailgun behind Obama????]


dontgoforit's picture

Present and unaccountable, sir.

Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

~"President Obama To Explain 'Everything'"~

Oh, goody. 'Cuz I was wondering when he'd come clean about how he used Saudi money to by Mo' Kaddafi's old guns to give to Al-Qaida in Syria, (at the cost of four American lives), in an attempt to overthrow Al-Assad but when that went tits-up the posse he armed went off and captured the Sunni half of Iraq, (with just 800 fighters), 'cuz all of the Sunni Iraqi army officers 'deserted', leaving all this 'Made-in-the-USA' hardware for these jihadis. Or did I miss something?

"Hello? Mister President? Hello?"

Doña K's picture

Hey guys! These 275 will actually be wearing Gucci loafers. techncally NO BOOTS on the ground. What is isn't.

BlindMonkey's picture

I was just thinking that would be a great defense in Tax Court.  "I got an email from Lois Lerner saying that everything was fine and I didn't need to worry about a thing."

dontgoforit's picture

...and....just can't seem to find that email....

BlindMonkey's picture

I kept it will all my gold and other very important papers.  Then I went on this boat you see...

knukles's picture

Is anybody there?
    -radio announcer at end of The War of the Worlds

Quus Ant's picture

The oil wars are in full swing.  I hope everyone has been working on their cardio. 

Quus Ant's picture

question for Barry:  How much oil is left and who owns it? 

angel_of_joy's picture

The only thing to explain is this: how come he got so stupid after all that schooling and all that politically correct energy spent on his ass ?

astoriajoe's picture

They got the head of the lighting crew? gaffer?

BlindMonkey's picture

Definitions change when you are talking about Obama.  I suspect he is referred to as the "fluffer".

TeamDepends's picture

He's posing with power tools....

kaiserhoff's picture

A nail gun???

  Be still, my heart.

Hippocratic Oaf's picture

A nail gun?

A tack could stop this worthless pussy.

What in the fuck can this sumbitch fuck up this week? Gotta admit, he's fuckin' persistant.

Look at him with his sleeves rolled up like cramer!

Oh, oh......this ni@@er gonna start some shit up in here!

Harbanger's picture

Now that we captured the Benghazi ringleader, Obama can swap him for a copy of Hillarys college gangbang video.

IndyPat's picture

"Carpet Munching Commie Co-Eds", I think it was?
Not sure if that's a fair trade.
This was pre landscaping era.....and it's still Hillary we are talking about.

Harbanger's picture

Yeah, that's scary shit. If that Hillary video were ever released it would cause spontaneous Global protests and attacks as it did in Benghazi.

BlindMonkey's picture

I have seen the pics from that era.  I would have nailed her.  



(I would have had to tape over that mouth though.  Her voice, even then, would have killed my boner.)

IndyPat's picture

Remind me to never leave you alone in a room with my dog, you filthy bastard.

highly debtful's picture

What worries me is that this man has a say in the use of a lot of other power tools, other than those you see in the background of this video.

kaiserhoff's picture

 how 275 boots on the ground are not really boots on the ground...

Silly Tyler.  They will march around barefoot on the burning sand.

Ze problem, she is solv-ed.

      Hercule Poirot.  The most modest dectective, in all of England;)

takeaction's picture

Can somebody please ask this FUCK a real question?  Rather than the preplanted softball bullshit prescreened handed to you on a special card questions?  Ask him how he likes Putins foot up his ass?  Ask him how the investigation is going in regards to Benghazi?  Ask him how the IRS can magically lose all records and paths of emails involved...?  Ask him....  and I would like to all of the people at the NSA that are reading this right now...FUCK YOU!

pelican's picture

It is clear that you are a racist to ask such questions (sarcasim)

RafterManFMJ's picture

I swear this 94 IQ half-breed is on TV more often than Seinfeld re-runs.

Why not have a daily, 6 day a week 0blam0 show? Sort of a cross between the wire and Sanford and Son?

takeaction's picture

Obama is not running this show.....we all know that.  He is a Constitutional attorney from Harvard.  He is not an idiot.  Just like Bush...these people are very smart, then when in office are made to look like fools, and are the scapegoat for everything the "Real Power" does wrong.  I honestly can not believe this shit show has gone on this long.  This card house is so week.  Inflation everywhere...(If you eat good, and drive).  Wages down, income down, poverty through the roof.  This sure is a lonnnnnng movie.  But.....I am ready as I think most of us here are on ZH.  I enjoy the comments more than the articles.  Appreciate everyone.  I guess that what we have each better than what is coming.  I always feel like I am on the edge of my seat though....and to watch the Truman show every day around me gets a little eeerie.  Am I wacko??

gdiamond22's picture

Calling Obama a Constitutional Attorney is like calling Jon Stewart a News Anchor. He can talk all about it, but in the end everyone knows he's full of shit and a 'joke'.

takeaction's picture

I am just saying.....I feel he is much smarter than he is (Forced) to portray.  I could be wrong...just a thought.

Poundsand's picture

Hmm.... You feel he is much smarter than he is forced to portray?  Thank you for at least stating it was based on a feeling as opposed to based on a 'fact', or an actual observation.  Just give me one thing that leads anyone out there to the conclusion that this guy is smarter than your average 10 year old.


I am sure that someone scripted that moment when he stated that he had been to 57 states.  Or when he pulled off this display of intellect:

ZerOhead's picture

I blame affirmative action...

IndyPat's picture

Are you really going to slander 10 yr olds in that manner? My 10 yr old nephew built a Taj Mahal out of Legos. You think this halfcoon halfwit could do that?
My neighbors cocker spaniel is more intelligent than this douche.

Poundsand's picture

I'll apologize to your son, but the spaniel is going to have to prove it.

TeamDepends's picture

Also, at best he possesses average intelligence.  If you doubt this, check out the youtube clips where the teleprompter quits and he has to ad-lib.

Joe Tierney's picture

Bush was smart?????




I honestly didn't think ANYONE could outdo that grandiose moron with a Presidential Seal Bush-the-kid, but O'Balma HAS proven me wrong.


The American people have gotten what they DESERVE. They voted these incredibly PATHETIC "leaders" into office, and returned each of them to office again. There are no words to adequately describe these two total losers. I just wanna puke when contemplating what comes next - Hitlery Clintoon, or else some other despicable friend of that crybaby Boehner.


I wish there was a way to raise words to the Nth power. I'd use PATHETIC and raise it to the power of the next president's number - 45.

NotApplicable's picture

Ivy League degrees make for pretty good camoflauge, it seems. Apparently, it never dawns on anyone how family ties work to ensure success.

Especially family ties to the CIA.

Jonas Parker's picture

If Obama isn't an idiot, he's sure fooled me for the last few years.

Sages wife's picture

No takeaction, quite the opposite.  You are one of the few who have chosen to see the real world and have accepted the inevitable.  All of "us" have learned that we risk alienation from friends, and even family, for our unshakeable dedication to the correction of this badly misguided world.  They DO NOT want to hear it.  It's comforting, and reassuring, to find similar minded souls on sites like ZH.  It's not easy to stay positive, but I suspect that most, if not all of us here, find it impossible to unsee what we know will become the greatest social event in the history of our world.  Hang in there brother.