Tyler Durden's picture

It's Friday... which can mean only one thing., The entirely unrigged (but ridiculously ubiquitous) meltdown in VIX starting at 330ET to ensure whatever momentum ignition is left will get flushed higher and ensure higher highs in stocks... These are your "markets"... (just as we predicted this morning)



The only thing we note is - it appears the beta is running lower on the ignition.


In other news, there have been no material geopolitical updates, which added with the fact that it is Friday, means there will be a now traditional VIX slam into the last minutes of trading to close stocks out at the day's, and a new record, highs.

And if that wasn't enough...

Bonus Chart: Oh no, this market is not over-levered and all about options manipulation at all... here is AAPL's close...


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Headbanger's picture

Friday means...  Whre's my scotch and do I have enough ice!

Rainman's picture

only heathens drink scotch with ice .. yuck.

Au_Ag_CuPbCu's picture

The good news...If you like your rigged markets, you can keep your rigged markets.  Unfortunately, I think you can bank on this one.

stant's picture

We heathens in the south like knob creek on ice. Kinda hot down here. Presently I am sipin some cruzing zillow at a little place for my mother. Need to put some of my ill gotten gains from fraud street to better use.

TeamDepends's picture

We've said it before, but the markets should be open 24//7 casino style.

TeamDepends's picture

Just think Headbanger, you could be playing the markets and the hottie from Missouri would be plying you with free drinks.  As long as you keep pumping in the shekels, that is.

Headbanger's picture

Missouri??   Haven't been there in a while..

I'd like to git back to Kansas City for some good old time memories

They were some really nice women there back then...

adr's picture

They mostly all look like Betty Lou from the Little Debbie isle in Walmart now.

Unless that's your thing. Hey sometimes that red plaid shirt covering up massive knockers looks appetizing if your in the right mood.

what's that smell's picture

>>They were some really nice women there back then...

i be from kansas city. you must be 101 years old.

Wait What's picture

I did a beer tour through there a few years back and discovered they aren't california girls, but they're pretty loose. when you're sowing your royal oats it's easy to sacrifice quality for quantity.

"of courage undaunted... and fidelity to the truth" ...something I read at a statue in Case Park.

Obchelli's picture

Actualy funny how Zero Hedge predicts daily that market will go higher by the EOD but in every article states that crash worse then prvious is imminent. Do not get me wrong - I love this site - but if you base your trading on them you are broke 

kowalli's picture

If you want to trade - just buy S end P ...

BandGap's picture

I have never traded anything based on this site. That is not the purpose here.

It has saved my sanity, this is an institution.

FuzzyDunlop21's picture

Well forgive them for not explicitly telling your dumbass not to buy Spy OOM puts while the Fed prints billions daily. If you were really "following their advice" you would sell VIX as they point out repeatedly, going back 1 year plus, slamming the VIX is the weapon of choice for manipulation. The problem is not that theyre wrong (the next crash being worse than the previous is not mutually exclusive with ATH after ATH. In fact the later ensures the former). No the problem is retards like you dont know what to do with the info they give you.

Obchelli's picture

Did you call me dumbass? Nevermind...

Thing is what ZeroHedge predicts is ultimate collapse... How many times in last 5 years they gave charts which showed correlations and how badly that ended and market is about to Dive - never ever materialized. Fed is winning this battle. Everything seems to go their way.

what's that smell's picture

if you care if some zhedge blogger calls you a dumbass you are a dumbass, dumbass.

FuzzyDunlop21's picture

I dont take historical correlation charts to be a trade recommendation, and anyone who does is an idiot. I will admit, Im not a fan of them. They dont tell you anything. But I think most people here realize its just a reminder that things go up until they cant anymore, then its game over. You are not actually suppose to get out a ruler and find the corresponding date of the historical collapse in the present. I cant believe I need to explain this to someone. . .

HardAssets's picture


" I cant believe I need to explain this to someone. . ."


We see and hear this at various places everyday going back forever.

People upset or complaining over the fact that someone else doesn't have a crystal ball.

Newsflash:  There are no crystal balls.

That which is unsustainable must inevitably end. When and how that will look is unknown.

Ya place yer bets and take yer chances. Quit whining about it.

Wait What's picture

Printing money can go a long way to paper over the realities of a hollow economy.

an obviously related idea is that as soon as someone predicts an imminent crash central banks can step in and prevent it. because confidence, you see, is all that matters.

They learned the lesson in 2008 that 'let's just let this play out' is not an option, they are now conditioned to press CTRL+P and all of its variants the moment outcomes start going against what they've modeled. they have to step in. as long as central bankers hold this fear in their hearts, they will continue to make a mockery of 'markets' and hold their fingers firmly on the button.

the irony, of course, is that anything that is so predictable will eventually get exploited, to its own detriment. path-dependence and whatnot. the moment central banks have to zig when the markets expect them to zag is going to be the moment all hell breaks loose. look at Fed history and you'll notice this is what happens every time.

weburke's picture

Zero hedge and some of their commenters are definately a gold mine and frankly have even shown the way out for many of its poor yet vocal commenters. But reading comprehension suffers from ...glance reading. There are of course the pheonix capital style writings here, but trading secrets are available here definately.

Atomizer's picture


Front 242 - Headhunter (Official Video)

You get back into the market on Monday morning, take it for the ZH team.


Report back to ZH promptly.



And while you’re at it, Check out Iraq Central Bank finance woes.



Till next time cunt, do you want me to pull the World Bank and Bank of International Settlement spreadsheet on Iraq?

Obchelli's picture

You just called yourself cunt - how nice cunt all this BS work with links ha haa haa

Atomizer's picture

I'll call your bluff. Thought we're working together to help United States of America. What exactly is your agenda? Tell us about the your plan in more detail. What is the charter, business model mission statement.

Weeding out people will become the other ZH members choice. Kindly answer my questions. Thanks.

hegemony's picture

I've been through at least 50 of these expirations in my trading life. Today was epic in it's inactivity. Yellen was defending 1952 on the e minis as if her MANHOOD depended on it. It used to be you could short a stock as a market on close with size to buy due to expiration and cover right after the close for a nice profit.....NO now most of those stocks are bid higher after hours. Good thing there is no complacency, I mean what could possibly go wrong. I mean housing NEVER GOES DOWN...ETC

adr's picture

Everyone will check the status of their unemployment from thier iWatch. It is supposed to have seven sensors. Perhaps one of them senses mood, uploading the sentiment to the NSA daily for an accurate track of the peons emotions.

The iSheep will eat it up though. Samsung, LG, Google make a watch and they all proclaim how lame smartwatches are. Apple will make one and they'll cream thier pants like a 13 year old boy finding his first images of tits on the internet.

Rainman's picture

damn you Dick Tracy, you were right all along !

Atomizer's picture

Stanley Milgram: original experiment on authority


This is the sick society in the present desparate talents. Obama supporters haven’t figured out Learner’s Gaslighting trick

Be aware. Blue/Red divided interests are the banking divide game. They’ll get gunshot shot wounds at a bad game of 1987 Jenga game. You have to watch to appreciate. Great minds reside at ZH, keep up the good work. Don’t be concerned with these frantic Progressive types.  The Global World understands Obama/his administration. He is fucked, not you. Remember that. 

AdvancingTime's picture

The forces that control this market are crooked as the day is long. After over 30 years of trading commodities I will flat out state without any reservations that lies and manipulation run rampant. If you think anyone is looking out for the small independent trader you are wrong. An unholy alliance of the Federal Reserve, the government, and the too big to fail has left the rest of us in a precarious position.

For the big boys, its insider information and computer trading, this includes computing patterns that exploit where stops are placed, this improves their ability to wash the weak out of their positions. The bottom-line is that the higher the market goes the more vulnerable it becomes to a major collapse and sudden downward move. More on this subject in the article below.


techstrategy's picture

Unless and until people like the readers of this site are willing to vote their values with their wallets, nothing will change.  It is simple people.  Stop talking and start doing.  Divest financial assets...  raise FRN and gold.   You will have inflation and deflation covered and preserve the purchasing power of your wealth to the extent possible with minimal counterparty risk.  In particular, sell bubble (what I like to call float scam) stocks that are literally just option scalping games.  As we convert the AMZNopoly and NFLXopoly money into FRN (which cannot be used for prop trading) and gold, the ponzi finance games will grind to a halt.  Ads soon as it becomes clear than they cannot hand the bag to us (or that we are frontrunning them) they will stop these games that are simultaneously engendering extraordinary malinvestment and obliterating what is left of the public's trust...