John Kerry's "Iran" Solution For Iraq (In 1 Cartoon)

Tyler Durden's picture

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Stinko da Munk's picture

Just draw a red line. That seems to be effctive in the regio.

post turtle saver's picture

I just dropped a wicked Kerry off at the pool...

TeamDepends's picture

Defoliate their jungles with Agent High Fructose Corn Syrup Tomato Paste.

Sages wife's picture

And smartphones.  Then just dig a big hole and let them fall in.

El Oregonian's picture

"There's no Hurry in Kerry" but not to worry... He'll "catch-up!" 'cause he won't be left be-heinz!!!!

Occident Mortal's picture

I think John Kerry must be shitting bricks now that Putin has waded into the fray and that means Lavrov is going to be offering vastly superior alternatives to everything that comes out of John Kerry's mouth.

Why the long face John?

eclectic syncretist's picture

He will tell them to throw away their service medals and embrace the fedgov rule of the Allah central bank politicoes his masters want to install.

whotookmyalias's picture

Quick, have Maliki implement the Affordable Health Care act.  That'll slow 'em down.

piliage's picture

and don't forget the hashtags #

Paveway IV's picture

Everything the Iranians need to know about trusting the U.S. in one, easy map.

The orange-dotted line is the Kirkuk-Haifa pipeline beta. The real Kirkuk-Haifa genocide-for-oil pipeline won't be completed for another year or so. That's a million-barrel-a-day pipeline, being paid for by the Iraqi holocaust victims themselves, that will transport their stolen oil directly to Haifa, Israel.




kchrisc's picture

With respect, but that orange dotted-line does not run anywhere near Israel. It goes from near Kirkuk up to another pipeline that runs into Turkey.

You may be correct, but that map does not back your statement.

Please post additional evidence.

Paveway IV's picture

It doesn't have to run directly to Israel. It only had to bypass any part of Iraq's Kirkuk-Ceyhan pipeline in Iraq itself and be well within Kurdish controlled areas. That allows the Kurds (13% of Iraqis) to sell north Iraqi oil as if it was theirs. Recently disclosed figures show the Kurdish controlled northern Iraq areas probably have 40% of Iraq's total reserves, much of it light, easy-to-refine oil in undeveloped fields. That fact was known, but kept from the Iraqi government in 2005 when they were drawing up the new constitution. Instead, an odd article was added about regional administrations controlling any new production. Turns out that American and British Oil stooges suddenly 'discovered' all kinds of new oil in north Iraq right after that. They are trying to bring a huge quantity online and expect to continue to add capacity. Rather than wait for the Iraq government to sort all this out, the Kurds just started smuggling 'their' oil out in 2012, built a bypass pipeline of their own to Turkey in 2013, and now also control the Kirkuk Terminal pumping station. Which will mean Iraq can't even pump it's own oil out the line they built to Turkey. 

The Turks were happy to take the transit and storage fees from anyone that can get oil into the Turkish leg of the Kirkuk-Ceyhan pipeline. By the end of 2013, the Kurds rebuilt the orange-dotted line smugglers pipeline all the way to the Faysh Khabur pumping station near the intersections of the Iraq/Turkish/Syrian borders. After that station, it flows through the Turkish portion of the Kirkuk-Ceyhan pipeline to Turkey's Ceyhan Marine Terminal for storage and lift. The Kurds announced that their 'new' 36" 150K BPD pipeline was exporting Iraqi oil full-time in Jan 2014. The reason that capacity existed is because (coincidentally) someone kept blowing up the Iraqi government segment of the pipeline between Kirkuk and Faysh Khabur, making the Kurds the sole source for any oil today. Maliki figured out the scam and has some American law firm suing the Kurds, Turkey and anyone that touches the smuggled Kurd oil. Iraq had already planned to build a much larger pipeline from Kirkuk to Turkey, but the Kurds now magically 'own' Iraq's Kirkuk terminal facilities. They don't want Iraq exporting oil through their newly-looted pumping station or pipeline because it would cut into their profits.

The problem with the new production contracts the Kurds have been awarding are that they screw the rest of Iraq. Bribed Kurds are giving sweethart deals to western majors an letting them produce without any regulation or oversight, raping both the local environment and every last Iraqi. In addition, Iraq (like many Arab countries) refuse to sell their oil to Israel. Someting about stealing land and Palestinian concentration camps. The Kurds have been well-bribed by Israel and don't care what the rest of 'Iraq' wants - they will sell their new Israeli masters all the oil they want. This is in preparation for the opening of the long-planned Kirkuk-Haifa pipeline. That won't be until the U.S. disposes of the 'evil' Maliki for some new, useful U.S.-Israeli lapdog. That will probably be Ahmed Chalabi, the guy that encouraged the U.S. to invade his own country by feeding the U.S. government all kinds of secret information about Saddam Hussein's mega-WMD program and his ties to al Qaeda (I'm not making this up - Google it). He's a Nettanyahu fan-boy and can't wait to unload cheap Iraqi oil to Israel.

Back to the orange-dotted line. You have to do the math. The Kurds can pump 150K bbls/day through the orange-dotted line (since Iraq's feeding pipeline was bombed). Ceyhan terminal can only hold 2.4 million bbls of the Kurd's oil and was reported as nearly full in May. This Reuters article from May 15th reported two cargoes to Israel last summer, and four cargoes to Israel this year: two to Haifa and two to Ashkod. That was from shipping and industry tracking sources. The Kurds denied making any sales but couldn't explain where all their oil sent to Ceyhan (aside from the remaining 2.4 million bbls) ended up. Israel strongly denied buying any from the Kurds (probalby true - several middlemen involved), but shipping companies with Turkish port loaded cargoes of Kurdish crude went to Israel full and came back empty. Powertrans (Turkish oil dealer) handles the Kurds oil and did sell the four cargoes this year to Israel's Oil Refineries Limited.

Now that the cat's out of the bag, the Israelis have reluctantly claimed the first shipment of Kurdish oil just arrived (with two more tankers on the way).

This is all temporary, so the Kurdish pipeline is only the beta version of the Kirkuk-Haifa pipeline. And the U.S. and Israel don't want all the bad PR that comes with using your genocide victim's reconstruction money to build your $18 billion dollar pipeline. They originally were calling it the Strategic Oil Pipeline or some such nonsense, implying that it was really built to benefit Iraq in case Iran closed the straits. When the Iraqi parlament approved the current version, they called it the Basra-Aquaba pipeline. Israel will tap into it in Amman and run that leg to Haifa. They don't need all that oil - they just want to control it and make sure Syria and Lebanon don't get any (unless they buy it from Israel). See how that works?

TheReplacement's picture

Not disputing the customers and I don't think that matters here.

The Kurds hold the ground.  They own the land.  It's their oil.  What is wrong with them doing as they please with it?

Should we march back in there and declare dictatorship and state owned everything?  Yeah because that would be so like spreading freedom.

I'm sorry but what exactly is your point/problem?

Paveway IV's picture

Interesting take on Kurdish autonomy, TheReplacement.

A million Iraqis and ten thousand U.S. troops died so 14% of the surviving Iraqis could assert their independence and claim rights to 40% of the nation's only resource. They'll also take Iraq's Kirkuk Terminal and make sure Iraq can't export it's remaining northern oilfield production to Turkey. Unless the Kurds just move the dotted lines out and claim those as well. I guess they can also just absolve themselves of the ten billion of foreign debt that Iraq is still struggling to pay back to a number of countries. And the 4 million Kurds should also demand billions in war reparations for Saddam Hussein's actions even though that money has to come from the other 29 million Iraqis that are also broke and suffered just as much during the war. 

Yeah... call me crazy, but that sounds like 4 million Kurds screwing over 29 million Iraqis that have been screwed over by damn near everyone on the planet. Not only that, but it sounds like the timing of this was all conveniently pre-arranged. Machinated by foreign powers that have no right or business carving up Iraq ESPECIALLY when there's some obvious financial or strategic benefit for them, to the detriment of the Iraqi people.

You would have had plenty of U.S. soldiers happy to go to Kurdish territory in 2003 to help them fight for independence from Saddam Hussein. Now, the Kurds look like just another bunch of greedy, opportunistic theives lined up to screw over Iraqis.

FreedomGuy's picture

What are you, a Sunni? You don't know any history if you think the Kurds have had some walk in the park. Ask them how much the Turks loved them and how Saddam helped them. Frankly, they have been a better partner and friend to us than anyone else. Since when are Kurds not Iraqis? You make it sound like they are an invading state.

There are no angels in the Middle East. You think if the Shiites had the oil upper hand or even the Sunni's they would share and share alike? You must be a place with legal marijuana. You think the Sunni's under Saddam didn't screw over everyone else? Absolutely they did and they would still if they could! Until and unless Iraq wants to be one unified country it will continue that way. Frankly, Joe the Moron Biden had it right when he originally suggested dividing Iraq into three states. Probably would have worked better over time.

Oil is fungible. It really does not matter where you put in supply. It affects overall world prices and anyone can take supply from any place.

You are crazy. There are no excellent solutions in the Middle East to any problem. There are no good guys and there are only bad and less bad solutions to anything.

FreedomGuy's picture

And the Kurds could call it war reparations for being gassed.

ZerOhead's picture

By the American gas technology they gave Saddam their BFF in happier times.

jeff montanye's picture

imo paveway is not crazy at all but makes several useful points, particularly regarding the israeli involvement with kurdish oil. were i a kurd i would find allies where i could and the israelis and the u.s. neocons would be among them. that doesn't mean that, since i'm not a kurd, i have to support this in all its manifestations. the more i watch iraq and the more i study its birth at the hands of the french and british who wished it always a weak and internally warring state so its oil could be taken more easily, the more a partition like that of yugoslavia looks like part of the "less bad solutions."  optimally oil resources should be divided equitably by agreement not by armed force, but rough justice may be all that occurs at this sad point.

if ever there is to be any kind of peace in the muslim world, israel will have to change or be changed profoundly.  a zionist state is not worth a fig to me, and, increasingly, others.  they came too late and expect muslims to pay for hitler's sins.  i don't buy it and i think their stock is declining.

kchrisc's picture

Thanks, I understand now.

Good stuff.

Paveway IV's picture

This guy nailed the end game in an article eight years ago. 

And just like the average person in the U.S., the average Kurd and average Israeli will never see a dime of the billions in Iraq's stolen oil money. We're only involved when the actual theives need little people to kill each other. Someone else gets the yacht, we only get the shame.

shovelhead's picture

I don't get any shame...

Not even a bit.

Did you sell everything you own that uses gas?

You bear yor shame well.

MontgomeryScott's picture


Your postings and the map here are something I have been watching since about the time this article was written. It is easy to understand the ways that sectarian differences are being inflamed by the PTB in order to 'destabalize' this whole region of the world (look at Syria's pipelines, for example) so that the multinationals can rape the oil out of the land and rape the people of the world by means of profiteering, sales, and supply 'disruptions'. Oil (and the control of the supply thereof) is the REAL currency of the modern era. There ARE NO 'elected governments'. The money masters buy the candidates, and the candidates tell you any shit you want to hear, and you vote for them, and they do the bidding of their masters.     No, there are only CORPORATIONS.

The famous speech by Ned beatty in the movie 'Network' comes to mind, except that the reality is far worse.

Thanks for your postings. You are exactly correct on several points.

It's all quite Biblical, you know.

dobermangang's picture

Don't forget a sternly worded Tweet or two from the White House and the State Department.  Maybe use all caps.

gmrpeabody's picture


that's closer to the truth than you know.

Midas's picture


mjcOH1's picture

Did they not leave the carcass of our last ambassador for us to retrieve?

Oh...right....  #whatdoesitmatter.

FreedomGuy's picture

The White House can unfriend them on FaceBook, too. That should send fear into their hearts.

highly debtful's picture

That's it. We could threaten not to buy their oil any more. Show them who's the boss, goddammit!

Freddie's picture

Put Commodore Kerry-Kohn on a Swift Boat up the Tigris and Euphrates. 

Actually send this evil f**k up the River Styx or into Dante's Inferno with Obama and Nudeman.

Sudden Debt's picture

Yeah... Nice how that suddenly vanished from the MSN
Wheren't they about to destroy Israel and Europe and America?

stant's picture

Jihad joe with fucyu grip

what's that smell's picture

is the cartoon funny?

iran is a nuclear power? john kerry is asking for advice? the state department forgot to make a plan for iraqi insurgents? a mullah is drinking coffee while looking at nuclear bomb blueprints?

what's funny?

the dumb cluck who drew this cartoon has been watching FOX again.

stant's picture

Well I am southern ,with a sick sense of humor. Collapse of empire sucks to watch. So grab some popcorn and watch the picture show. Also I didn't punch the red delta

Postal's picture

Damn! I picked up a box of popcorn tonight. Put it back: I thought it would get caught between my teeth. :/

stant's picture

You worry to much. Sir .and if memory serves hunter s Thompson quote. " this is the 90s we are going to find out who has teeth and who dosent ,indeed

Kayman's picture

The cartoon is hilarious. If the smell has been following you around for 10 weeks and 2 days, use it as a clue. Troll.

Fox dutifully is the counter balance of all the left wing bullshit- right wing bullshit.

The best thing for the Middle East is give it back to the Turks.

Moloch's picture

Logged in just to say that's the dumbest thing I've read in a long time.

Whatchamacallit's picture

It would be funnier if Iran said "We told you we don't have nukes."


jeff montanye's picture

possibly.  it's still pretty funny as is.  and iran needn't have nukes now for it to be.  the cleric could be saying "let us develop them like this sexy picture i'm staring at and we could threaten isis."

it is the vicious horns of the largely self-inflicted dilemmas that obama's foreign policy (and willing inheritance of bush's and even clinton's) that make both iraq and ukraine funny in a gahan wilson kind of way.

shovelhead's picture

I think we're beginning to outstrip even Gahan Wilson's imagination.

And that says a lot. We've gone full sick cartoon.

The Merovingian's picture

You are quite possibly the most shit all stupid troll I've ever seen.  

JustObserving's picture

Talking about nukes:

Daniel Ellsberg: United States Nearly Used Nukes During Vietnam War

We came dangerously close to nuclear war when the United States was fighting in Vietnam, Pentagon Papers whistleblower Daniel Ellsberg told a reunion of the Stanford anti-Vietnam War movement in May 2014. He said that in 1965, the Joint Chiefs of Staff assured President Lyndon B. Johnson that the war could be won, but it would take at least 500,000 to one million troops. The Joint Chiefs recommended hitting targets up to the Chinese border. Ellsberg suspects their real aim was to provoke China into responding. If the Chinese came in, the Joint Chiefs took for granted that we would cross into China and use nuclear weapons to demolish the communists.

Former President Dwight D. Eisenhower also recommended to Johnson that we use nuclear weapons in both North and South Vietnam. Indeed, during the 1964 presidential campaign, Republican nominee Barry Goldwater argued for nuclear attacks as well. Johnson feared that the Joint Chiefs would resign and go public if Johnson didn't follow at least some of their recommendations, and he needed some Republican support for the "Great Society" and the "War on Poverty." Fortunately, Johnson resisted their most extreme proposals, even though the Joint Chiefs regarded them as essential to success.