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Obama And Putin Talk On The Phone, Discuss Ukraine, Iraq, Syria; Obama Threatens With More "Costs"

Tyler Durden's picture


It has been a while since Obama and Putin held one of their signature phone conversations purely for public theater and photo-op purposes. Moments ago, we learned that following weeks of silence, the world leaders had spoken earlier today, when first the Kremlin, the the White House, released details of the just conducted phone conversation.

From the Kremlin:

In accordance with a previous arrangement, a telephone conversation took place between Vladimir Putin and U.S. President Barack Obama.


Discussed were various aspects of the acute internal crisis in Ukraine, the prospects of resolving the situation, including implementation of the peace plan put forward by the President Petro Poroshenko. Vladimir Putin stressed that for the normalization of the situation in the south-eastern regions, a key priority is the effective cessation of hostilities and the start of direct negotiations of the opposing sides. Also noted was the importance of urgent humanitarian issues including emergency assistance to the affected population.


During the exchange of views on other topical issues of the international agenda, Vladimir Putin and Barack Obama expressed serious concern regarding the militant activity in Iraq of the terrorist group "Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant." The Russian leader expressed support for efforts to combat Baghdad Islamists and to establish peace and security in the country.


Also noted was the situation in Syria in view of the completion of the removal of this country's chemical weapons, as well as developments in the Iranian nuclear program.

The US takes was slightly different, and according to the new White House spokesman, Obama once again reverted to his favorite topic: costs. From Bloomberg

President Obama spoke with Russian President Putin this morning to urge him to use influence to promote peace and stability in Ukraine, White House spokesman Josh Earnest tells reporters.


Says Russia faces additional costs without concrete steps to advance peace.

One wonders if the latest disastrous intervention by John Kerry was also discussed, or if that was more of a unilateral "laughter" type comment by the Russian president.

Considering this is the nth+1 conversation between the two presidents which have so far achieved precisely nothing when it comes to joint efforts, one can be sure that this latest phone call will only "result" in a several thousand dollar phone bill on Obama's hotline phone, invoiced promptly to the US taxpayers.


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Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:14 | 4886295 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

did he wear his mom jeans again? i hope they weren't on Skype, at least for his sake...

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:15 | 4886305 Tao 4 the Show
Tao 4 the Show's picture

Wonder what NSA would charge for a recording of the conversation?

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:31 | 4886361 gh0atrider
gh0atrider's picture

Putin must be running scared from your bitch-arms Obama!

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:58 | 4886465 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I imagine Putin on the other end, feet up, clipping his nails, bored out of his skull talking to that dolt, Obama.  Just sitting, listening and saying "uh huh" a lot.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:02 | 4886483 H. Perowne
H. Perowne's picture

"Nyet . . . nyet . . . nyet . . . yob tvoyu mat . . ."

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:58 | 4886711 espirit
espirit's picture

Obama to Vlad- "Hey Bud, I need a loan - Buy our treasuries".

Vlad to Obama- "What else you got to trade?"

"Uh, Iraq?"

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 17:12 | 4887037 Xibalba
Xibalba's picture

Obama:  I'm taller than you

Putin:  I can ride a horse

Obama:  I have Michelle

Putin:  Ok, you win this round.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 17:17 | 4887059 Unknown User
Unknown User's picture

It went like this:

Obama - "Hey Vlad, if you don't fix my f*up in Ukraine it will cost you."

Putin - "Half of Iraq and it's a deal?"

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 18:39 | 4887262 asteroids
asteroids's picture

Obozo: "blah blah blah again" Putin: "Go fuck yourself...again"

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 00:54 | 4888322 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

No, Vlad pretending to be his own aswering machine.

"Hello, Vlad here, sorry I can't take your call........"

Everyone is sick of this fucktool.

"Bill! What are you doing at my desk?"

"Eating a banana. Besides, it was mine first."

"Well, hold on---ahhhhhh/Crack!"

"I guess I shoulda told him about the peel. Maybe I will call a medic. Nah."

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:42 | 4886403 Joe A
Joe A's picture

They would not be able to recognize Putin's sarcasm anyway.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:12 | 4886516 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

$2.99 per minute.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:44 | 4886660 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture

Not a problem. I can give you the transcript:

BO: "Look Vlad you really have to give me someting on this Ukraine deal, or there might be consequences."

VP: "Up yours!"

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:16 | 4886307 StacksOnStacks
StacksOnStacks's picture

I'm super serial, Vlad!  You better stop it or I'm gonna tell on you, you, Poop Face!

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:18 | 4886313 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

VLAD:  "NOW would be a good time to tell me, once again barry, about all that "flexibility" you have in your second term..."

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:37 | 4886383 BorisTheBlade
BorisTheBlade's picture

It took Vlad every bit of patience he was taught in secret KGB school to not tell his American counterpart to go and blow himself. It wouldn't serve the purpose, he told himself, let clueless puppet snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory. He, at the end of the day, is the rope America has created to hang itself from. Vlad Lenin smiled in Mausoleum at this very moment when he thought of Vlad Putin.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:40 | 4886913 Shad_ow
Shad_ow's picture

Well done


Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:19 | 4886318 Goldenballz
Goldenballz's picture

We can Expect another fly by by those TU-97's of the coast of the continental US in the coming days

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:02 | 4886487 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

More empty, vacuous false gum flapping from the corrupt, arrogant, narcissitic incompetent illegal indonesian alien muslim sociopathic liar in chief only interested in its celebrity grand imperial golf life style....

Putin must be shaking in his Ugg boots.....

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:33 | 4886882 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

So tired of Ofuckstick. His new buzzword is "costs". Fuck you Obama, you petulant child. Go play with Reggie you miserable waste of oxygen

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 00:02 | 4888240 pathetic looser
pathetic looser's picture

zh loves this picture))

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:14 | 4886297 BobTheSlob
BobTheSlob's picture

Obama...a grade schooler playing with matches. Keep digging the Dollar's grave Barry!

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:25 | 4886341 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

obama is looking down.  i'd bet $10K the teleprompter when taking phone calls is via the dispay panel on the phone.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:26 | 4886347 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

The digging started in 1913, and with all other nations racing to debase, we have yet to reach 6ft.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:14 | 4886298 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

So, are you wearing underwear?

Oops!!!, it's you Vlad. I thought it was Reggie.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:14 | 4886299 AssFire
AssFire's picture

Obama must use one of those astronaut diapers when he takes these calls.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:21 | 4886324 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

He probably experiences ass fire.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:42 | 4886399 pods
pods's picture

We call that Swamp Ass down here in the South.

Which can lead to the ever irritating Monkey Butt, and if untreated, the dreaded Baboon Ass.


Mon, 06/23/2014 - 18:58 | 4887334 Sirius Wonderblast
Sirius Wonderblast's picture

Also known as Golfer's Chuff.

Tue, 06/24/2014 - 00:38 | 4888295 StychoKiller
Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:15 | 4886304 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

i wouldnt even answer the fucking phone any more...

"leave a message bitch made mother fucker...." BEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:16 | 4886309 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

I don't think Obama understands the meaning of "costs". 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:26 | 4886345 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


I don't think Obama understands the meaning of "costs".

You are correct, although he has demonstrated the meaning: bullish Russian equities.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:18 | 4886310 Der Wille Zur Macht
Der Wille Zur Macht's picture

A few short hours ago, I witnessed he and his motorcade arriving at the local Chipotle for lunch. It seems that he is preparing to expel hot air out of more than just his mouth today...

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:38 | 4886387 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Ah, Chipolte, saving the world, one over-priced burrito at a time.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:42 | 4886404 Der Wille Zur Macht
Der Wille Zur Macht's picture

I'm not joking by the way. They shut down the street in front of my workplace so he could get his Chipotle on!

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:26 | 4886549 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Probably spent more taxpayer money on that little luncheon outing than I spend on food and drink in several months.  Just fuck you, Obama.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:18 | 4886315 pods
pods's picture

Seems the "costs" are mounting, just not for Russia.

Must be Vlad saw Blazing Saddles and called him on the bluff, and O was forced to blow his head clean off.


Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:23 | 4886335 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

The problem I have with this analogy is that I rooted for Sheriff Bart and admired his wit.  This other guy, I'm not rooting for.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:27 | 4886350 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

The sherrif is a na....

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:19 | 4886319 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Fuck you, buckwheat.  Shine my shoes.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:56 | 4886458 Blue Horshoe Lo...
Blue Horshoe Loves Annacott Steel's picture

He's half Alfalfa, half Buckwheat.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:21 | 4886320 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

A hearty Russian sausage phoning the fluffy American glazed doughnut.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:33 | 4886333 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Rumor has it that the costs that Zero keeps threatening Putin with is  to pay for the wookie's vacations. It's next vacation may be to Moscow..... oh the horror.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:25 | 4886340 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

Hawk (Owebomba): You ain't got the know how to use it. [gatling gun](nukes)

Rooster Cogburn (Putin): [Eula Goodnight fires off a burst (Putin fires ICBM)] Ain't that the way it works, Hawk (Owebomba)?

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:25 | 4886342 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    Insanity defined to the TEE.(pun intended), " Doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.".

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:31 | 4886363 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

You stupid black man.


Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:53 | 4886439 oddjob
oddjob's picture

More like off-white.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:58 | 4886462 oddjob
oddjob's picture

..gender neutral.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:36 | 4886372 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

at least they aren't the super tight jeans he wears on his Friday night trips to the Fruit Loop in DC

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:37 | 4886385 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Thats gonna be an expensive phone call....

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:39 | 4886389 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Obama's do nothing threats and blaming of others while he actively destabilizes the world are really starting to annoy me.  This fkr has a lot of blood on his hands and no interest in the mechanics of civilization.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:41 | 4886393 khakuda
khakuda's picture

Hey, where are his golf clothes, it's a gorgeous day in D.C.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:42 | 4886405 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Just starting?

Jus' ask'n ...

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:44 | 4886408 khakuda
khakuda's picture

This guy is a foreign policy nightmare.  Iraq will be renamed al quaeda by month's end without a shot fired by the U.S.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:45 | 4886413 BeansMcGreens
BeansMcGreens's picture

What I always find interesting is that Putin would not need a translator to understand Obama speaking in hopefully English, but Obama needs a translator to understand Putin's Russian. Our so called elected leaders are really quite ignorant.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:54 | 4886443 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

WHat's up with all the sanctions we supposedly put on russia?  Haven't heard anything in weeks.  Must have been pretty effective tho' huh? /sarc

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:57 | 4886457 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Obama: "Hey Put', pal, buddy, I've heard of Russian brides, but can you hook me up with Russian grooms?!"

Putin: "Nyet! Check. Your move."

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 14:57 | 4886460 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

I can't for the life of me understand how a reasonably honorable man and ex-soldier like Putin can talk civilly to Obama.

I would not be able to.

"Okay you ignorant fuckstain, why the fucking fuck are you supporting the mass-murdering Ukrainian junta? How in God's green fuck do you get off asking me to promote peace and stability in Ukraine while your butt-buddies bombard civilians with artillery? Were you chooming before this call? What the fuck is the matter with you? And I won't even start on your little liver-eating friends currently giving you trouble in Iraq after you armed and trained them in Syria."

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:08 | 4886509 CannoncockerUSMC
CannoncockerUSMC's picture

Well said

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:58 | 4886727 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

Tying to appease the Ziocons recently re: Syria and Iran and his liberal "anti-war" base re: Iraq since 2009 ... has left him in this current conflicted shit-storm of a quagmire... good job Obozo!

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:05 | 4886497 djsmps
djsmps's picture

He needs Bill Clinton to do some 'splainin'.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 17:33 | 4887102 Sages wife
Sages wife's picture

Billy-Bob Clinton:  "I did not have sexual relations with the Polish foreign minister." 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:27 | 4886567 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

there's a million one liners that could apply to this


in the end, Barry is just a lost soul who preaches a good story


the meme's have run out, so we are left with the lost soul - fatherless, motherless dogshit in the WH

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:29 | 4886577 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

I guess they photoshopped the chess table and checkers table out of the picture....

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:27 | 4886860 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture

Nah! In this picture he's actually talking to his publisher about an advance on his book deal once he leaves office. He wants payment in rubles.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:33 | 4886588 Guinny_Ire
Guinny_Ire's picture

Remember when we bankrupted the Soviet Union? Do you think Putin might be attempting to return the favor?

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:22 | 4886845 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture


Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:34 | 4886594 ciscokid
ciscokid's picture

Have any of you seen the white lines the referees use in the world cup? Thats same red lines that Obama uses, they fade after a few seconds.....

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:41 | 4886633 R3ap3R
R3ap3R's picture

It is just embarrassing how obama is acting... pff plain childish. The only thing he has been saying is solve it solve it, you better solve it or else i'm going to sanction you. Putin must think Obama lost sence of reality by now, what is he supposed to do about the ukrainian army bombing the east.  1st its in an other country second where is the proof that he is to blame for all this. I get it the US is mad about crimea but how could he not have acted there without any US reassurance that they where not behind the coup, that they do not want to make Ukraine into a NATO country. do i need to start about the missile defence system (which doesnt work btw). simply telling but that the missile defence system doesnt work or is in fact just vs iran and not russia is enough (he asked for this in writing but the US refused). Without the blacksea base Russia could be invaded by the US fairly easly now i know this is not likely but the US remained silent. You cant blame putin for this and its not his masterplan he is just forced into these situations by an incompetent superpower and forced to make gambles. Henry kissinger would not have allowed this to happen, he even requested to talk with obama about the issue but Obama refused. Just pure incompetence and denial. I think putin is starting to get this and will be more imbolded by it.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 15:42 | 4886646 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

Barack: "Hi Daddy, wanna come over and play?"

Vlad: "Fuck off faggot." 

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 16:15 | 4886809 homiegot
homiegot's picture

Just think how much progess we could make if we worked together. Fuck.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 17:10 | 4887034 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Obama is many things, but one thing he constantly displays is that he is simply a spoiled brat. He thinks that if he can throw a large enough temper tantram the other side will give in. Sorry Obama, the world does not work like that even if your grandmommy and granddaddy did.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 17:18 | 4887061 stant
stant's picture

Sucks when you run out of fake and created morale high ground. Can't project power when everyone knows its bull shit.

Mon, 06/23/2014 - 19:09 | 4887362 AdvancingTime
AdvancingTime's picture

The idea of America getting involved or jumping into a war in Ukraine would have been hard to imagine a few years ago. As I write this we are engaged in a war of words but the potential for this to escalate into a shooting war is real. Allowing events to deteriorate into a major war or possibly into what some see as World War III is becoming a reality.

As insane as it appears this could become the final outcome. The location of this as a military confrontation is right in Putin's backyard and this is a strong advantage for Russia. It is silly to think Putin and Russia will back down. This means poking the bear is not a smart move. More on this subject in the article below.


Tue, 06/24/2014 - 00:07 | 4888246 pathetic looser
pathetic looser's picture

i wonder how they communicate ... do they use the same empty childish frases like when they tack to us or they they actually name things the way they are?

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