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Caption Contest: "We Call It Soccer" Edition
Having had his omnipotence slightly reduced by SCOTUS and Verizon losing out over NSA spying concerns, we can only imagine President Obama's dismay while watching (aboard AF1) the Europeans trump the Americans once again...
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Yeah... They they took the remote away too.
That pic explains a lot about the leadership of this country with regards to the current events. Can it get any worse? Yes it can.
Looks like Air Force One.
Chips dont even have ruffles. Austerity?
Who is the fellow with Down Syndrome sitting next to Obomber?
Looks like the graphics we had on FIFA soccer on Sega.
pods
Sega.... Lol......
Look at all dem tight shorts! Woody time
I think I've spotted the problem. If you look closely at the screen, you will see that US is off-sides -- again.
Oh look, its President Jarrett and her patsy
Is that Joe Biden?
YES, he is under the table sucking Obomber's dick!
SEGA!
Obama was probably the type of kid that would invite you over to play and then give you the bum controller.
If that is American football then I'm from bumfuck Nairobi.
"As soon as this Latino wetback photo-op is over, I'm putting BET back on."
Dreamcast
Janet Reno is back!
No, just some other Ivy League egg head who is still wondering about what she heard on All Things Considered last night.
....which one is it with the DS, not sure that it's the one on the left!
Look at those fancy coasters. Are they made of gold? I think we found all the missing gold. Clever buggers have hidden it in plain sight.
Supposedly one of the most technologically advanced aircraft in the world, yet it apparently doesn't get ESPN in HD...
All this ball kicking reminds me of something.
Is that Valerie Jarrett sitting next to Obama? Why in the hell has she not been indicted yet!!! I am willing to bet there were numerous emails between Jarrett and Lois Lerner which have been "lost".
Did you say ball kicking or ball licking?
Situation Room...All Fucked Up. [SRAFU]
American Fuhrer: "WHat I like most about this sport is how tough these guys are. Just like my man Reggie Love. Make sure to tax all their winnings and send them directly to Mochelle's slush fund. Oh, and before I forget, be sure to let me know what next week's agenda is. I didn't get your latest memo."
Why don't they pick it up? What color are we again?
"Hey, I'M A ZERO, and the final score is ZERO to ZERO-How cool is that?
Italy always had great World Cup teams until they added that f**king eggplant.
Val, did I tell you how great I am at soccer?
He's as good at soccer as he is at bowling.
Think you got the "L" a few spaces too far right.
pods
Well played, PODS.
"Can't I just issue an Executive Order and declare victory for the Americans?"
Why are the walls made out of rubber?
"Yes, I have to hold Reggie's head down with both hands now."
I guess they don't want their gold back.
Very well played.
Val J looks like an extra from the latest Planet of the Apes movie.
Oh, now that's just wong.
I believe she is an Iranian Jew. No, not kidding.
what? gold? /sacr
What gold? LOL
(initiate slow clap) Well done.
Obama: "Ya know; I coulda been as good at soccer as I am at golf."
"I coudda been a contender!"
"I coudda been a contender!"
Instead he's an ass bender.
lol at 'powerful' yet dumb woman feeding herself Diet Cancer.
They must have removed the bong and the Cheez-Its from the table before snapping the picture.
my first thought upon seeing that pic was if the Wookie would allow school kids to snack on that stuff.
#Wookies4StateApprovedLunches
" Sorry kid, that PB&J mama made you is no good. Gotta eat these freedum fries if you wanna stay in skool, or we're gonna put you on psych meds cuz you and your parents are fucked up because we said you are. *smiley face* "
Pass the fluoride
LOL... and forgot to remove the scotch ( see lower right of picture)
we call it pussysport
Oh, it's like your army, you're used of losing out... And yet you call them patriots for trying :)
What?
As opposed to the fully padded and helmeted children sport called "Football" in the US. Over here only little kids get to wear that kind of protection when they go skateboarding. Try some Rugby or Australian Football, they are basically the same sport without the protective gear.
We have rugby in America, it's called kill-the-guy, and it's played without pretense of rules and regulations, the only rule is you give the ball up when you can't take any more, and it is an adolescent bloodsport. It's great fun.
Oh yeah! Park Ave, kill the guy with the ball was awesome growing up! Good times! I long for those days!
Now, about that picture, Holy shit! we are screwed! a Kenyan and a retard on AF1!
She doesn't look Kenyan to me!
As a former major county rugby player, that behavior only happened when we had the misfortune to play
the Metropolitan police team.By them I might add, though I may have kicked a few heads by
accident, cough.
The thing is, there are no teams, so there is no basic, conditional reason (he's not on my team) to kick in someone's head. It's a game of one versus all. No score is kept. Your performance has no baseline measure. You have esteem and honor or you don't, but there is no judge or arbiter to declare anything unequivocably. It's actually revolutionary.
"I thought that kick below the crossbar was no good?"
"Pass me that last basket of food. My munchies remain unsated."
just the like the market going up on bad macro, u.s. advances by losing. All makes sense.
what a prick
In Kenya where I was born. It's called football.
Wwf and dodgeball rolled up into one
"I am going to inact an executive order mandating that the U.S. won. And then I will give all the foreign players amnesty so they can come play for the US, get free healthcare (if they can figure out how to sign up and find someone willing to provide care). And anyone who doesn't take advange of my offer will wind up on the no-fly list, I will have the NSA expose all of their private information via some Murdoch publication or CNN, and then I'll hit the course for another 18."
***Not a caption...just me....
I can't stand soccer...it's just not an American sport even though they try to shove it down our throats more and more lately. My old g/f in highschool played varsity soccer. I hated going to those boring games, but I had to do it or no nooky for me! haha But she did look pretty hot kickin' the other girls asses up and down the field...that's about the extent of it for me and watching soccer.
Like one of my buddies always says about soccer: "Soccer is for fat kids to get them in shape." LOL
So anyways...does everyone know that the U.S. men's soccer coach is a German national soccer hero who used to coach the German national soccer team?
Hmmmm...now I won't say there may be a conflict of interest there or anything. But knowing how fucking fanatical S. American and Euro soccer fans are, why would that guy want to risk getting killed if he steers the U.S. into a victory over his nation team???
Just a little soccer conspiracy theory for you all. I'm sure he wouldn't give the game away or give up plays to the Germans or anything like that....right??? ;-)
And why the fuck can't the U.S. get a fucking U.S. coach for their little kick-ball team anyways???? Not one guy in America is good enough to coach kick-ball for the U.S.???
Why even try to compete then, geez. Do they wear pink shoes like the NFL now too?
Weak....
I don't really consider the 'nationality' of a sport when I'm considering liking it or not. It's just a really boring thing to watch. There really isn't much more to say.
To which people will reply, "But you're still rooting for the US, right?"
Ummmm... NO
I almost cheered when Germany scored, but there were children there who just wouldn't understand. So I just acted loudly dismayed.
I can't think of anything more pathetic and sad than rooting for a sports team because of nationalism.
How about rooting for and sending your kids to die in a war because of nationalism?
Ann Coulter says it all perfectly:
http://www.anncoulter.com/columns/2014-06-25.html#read_more
Ann Coulter was born a male. look close.
Definitely this.
I'd still tap that ass.
so would you, Johnny...
that was pretty funny...it's funny cuz it's true. haha
And just like I said...the "establishment" is trying to cram soccer down our throats. Ann Coulter mentions that as well: (6) I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO's "Girls," light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is "catching on" is exceeded only by the ones pretending women's basketball is fascinating.
It's true too. I knew immediately when NBC Sports (the gay peacock channel) bought out the Versus Sports channel that it would be non-stop soccer bullshit. And I was right.
Not only did NBC destroy that channel with soccer, it also started showing horse racing, polo (WTF is that all about???), and it also immediately cancelled all the cool hunting, fishing, and car shows that Versus had so many of which were very good shows. But of course hunting shows advertise guns and shooting animals, so NBC (the gay peacock channel) had to cancel them as part of the LBGT, green, Euro, Libtard "agenda".
That channel gets no air time from me.
You're right, soccer is a left-wing globalist conspiracy, clearly. It's downright unAmerican and freedom-hating.
I would disagree, and say it's only garden-variety pass-agg de-masculinization that just happens to be organized along map lines.
It seems the more screwed over people are by their govt, the better that country plays "futbol". There is some definite correlation.
The reason soccer is becoming so popular and is so popular around the world is because you don't need expensive equipment to play it. Just a ball. That is why it is the sport of choice in the impoverished countries. With the middle class in America being sent to the poor house it is one of the few sports families can still afford to let their kids play.
That is also why the media likes to shove soccer down our throats. It is their way to rub our noses in it on the sporting level. It is a sign of victory when all the majority of a nation can afford to do is kick a ball around.
you need to lie down for awhile and let the medication take hold....since there are no timeouts in soccer the "falling down" is to rest the team. Soccer is not big in america yet because they havent figured out how to do commercial timeouts like they do every other down in football.
And yes, europeans know a lot more about soccer than americans....do a little research, american football was bourne of european futbal.....just sayin
You need to drive your Beeemer into a boulder at 80mph.
Shows how fucking clueless you are.
Soccer isn't for fat kids. You're sprinting in short bursts more or less constantly for 90 minutes. You know what's for fat kids? Baseball and American football (linemen).
Also, a soccer coach is not the equivalent of an American football coach. He doesn't call plays. He just coaches the team and can scream from the sidelines as much as he wants but once the players are on the field, they're on their own. The only thing he can do is make substitutions. The coach cannot "give up plays" to the other team.
How about a meteorite knocking that sh-t out of the sky? Thank God I won't have to spend eternity with that ass. Back to work.
People that find soccer boring are too brain-damaged to appreciate the game!
There has to be a way to rig this too.
It's horrifically crooked, rigged and staged.
Been discussions about it going on for years, but is so popular, well....
I'd be like trying to take cheese and white wine away from Progressive San Franciscans
Betcha Progressive Insurance wishes they had a different name....
It's been 40 minutes with no timeouts? When is there a commercial break?
this is why soccer and rugby arent popular in merica, no stoppage so they can show 239848358 commercials and rake in the money
Soccer is unpopular because it's GAY. Rugby is unpopular because as an amalgamation of soccer, football, wrestling, and adolescent dirt-lot grab-assing, there really isn't all that much depth to it.
I grew up playing rugby. Looks like you don't know the first thing about it, but you sure seem to have a strong opinion on it.
FYI American football evolved directly out of rugby. It's not an amalgamation of anything.
Rugby is very popular amongst people who aren't pad-wearing cunts, though.
The armor increases the brutality and performance level, not decreases.
Rugby is not popular because that type of play is covered by other sports. The US speaks English but is not Anglo.
Incidentally, I also played a smidgeon of American football back in the day.
The padding allows football players to hit harder and with awful technique, and not feel a friggin thing. It also slows you down a lot, limits your mobility and vision.
In rugby the lack of padding means if you don't tackle with textbook technique you will hurt yourself. You can't hit with as much force, but both you and the tacklee feel it 5x more than football players do.
I agree that rugby can't get popular here in a big way because the spot for that type of sport is already taken by American football, and there are only so many eyeballs/advertising dollars to go around.
But...believe it or not...there are more collegiate rugby teams in the U.S. than football teams.
I should have written "performance". Agreed on the technique vs. armor point. That's why I like basketball and baseball ... these are "naked" sports of technique and strategy (in spite of what big pharma and big media would make them, and you must agree that Rugby has had drug problems as well).
Every thing is proceeding as planned. By the time I'm done America will have gone from world power to world beggar.
The players seem to be falling and getting hurt a lot. I think this sport needs a helmet law. Val, would you put that on my executive order list, so I don't forget.
Fuck is up with this basket of baked Lays chips?
Hah....I had that thought too.
There is a sayngi here in India, as an example/alllegory to this: You can take the boy out of the street but you cannot take the street out of the boy.
Well, the French conjured something like that up during the Age of "Romanticism" called the "Noble Savage".
You know, you can take a jungle dweller ot of the deepest dark places in Africa, clothe, house and feed him like a King and soon, he'll be a section 8, EBT addicted criminal sociopath for which most white Progressives will think they're responsible, including the redefinition of the gene pool...
Yeah and I've heard it here in the U.S. too, "you can take the girl out of the trailer park but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl." I think every country must have it's own version.
Hey, my home may be small and on wheels but can your McMansion go 60mph down the highway?
Oh boy, He will order the US Soccer team to wear helmets next year.
"Fuck them, we aren't giving them their gold ..."
we call it "Playing balls"
Look, he's with his vacuous cipher.
Where's the basket?
it puts its lotion in the basket, or it gets buried at sea...
"Did you hear that?!"
hey, he's just like us!
aw, come on boys... let's give him another term!
/
I can not wait for this soccer bullshit to be over... I can sort of get into championship games for any sport, its mostly the white middle class American soccer fans whom I content are inveterate douchebags, more odious even than Eagles or Yankees fans...
"You gonna finish that Coke?"
Total product placement.
I am not sure about the team names , perhaps we can change them !
"I look manly watching soccer with my sleeves rolled up."
"Next time I talk to Putin I'm going to be really stern and show him who's boss. Y-yeah."
There is no integrity in futbol. Watch the multi-million $$ players fall down and hold their shin in sheer agony when slightly bumped in the shoulder by an opposing player. It's sickening to see. Replay should be used to fine their hineys into oblivion. Clean up the game and then I might consider it worth watching.
Those who claim that professional soccer players are overpaid need only look at Suarez. The man is simply starving.
Just be glad you weren't up against the Netherlands. ;)
'Winner gets their Gold'
"Tell Germany that the WC trophy will be in good hands in NY".
'My friends say soccer was all about cutting off the heads of your enemies and kicking them around the field."
Not so much a caption as an observation, but if I were the leader of the free world, I would surround myself with better looking women.
I bet Reggie looks pretty fetching in drag.
if it wasn't for the pot brownies this would be boring as hell
The Golfer-in Chief, bewildered beyond belief, asks President Jarret about the point of this non-golf game showing on the teewee.
Ahhhaaahhhaa...that was an instant belly laugh...thanks Ms. E.
Anyone wonder who's team they are rooting for? I'm sure it ain't the US.
"Want to change the channel and watch some drone strikes?"
I think I can talk Lebron into playing soccer for his country.
Bill Clinton, called for you!
Is that Janet Reno sitting next to zero? </sarc>
I'm a hand soccer fan, myself.
Discussing how to send the next batch of young Christians half way round the world to die killing Muslims...
Damned kids broke the remote
Barack: Did you play soccer when you grew up in Persia, I mean Iran, or whatever we're going to call it when our Caliphate is complete?
Valarie: Why yes, I played with a lot of balls to get where I am today.
Looks like it's just you, me, and this conference table.
And now you mustn't stroke anyone's head—you might get your hand bitten off.
Just look at your National 'Leader', sitting watching something he knows nothing about, where its being played, what the rules are, how its played, and what the outcome may be.
He knows exactly the same about Football, as he does about ruining your nation. Good job I'm a mother fucking duck, or I would laugh, but instead, here I find myself crying, with laughter.
This idiot, this downright, fucking offensive idiot, has no right watching grown children kick a pig skin about. The fucking idiot, and I mean grade 'A' idiot must be grinding the gears in his idiot head trying to work out what football is.
The fucking idiot would be dangerous on his own in an empty room, never mind trying to watch child men playing the beautiful game.
;-)
It's like a dog watching a ceiling fan
"Wanna see me drone all these fvckers?"
"A loss is a win, just like the stock market"
Hey Valerie.
Get the fuck out and send in some interns.
I wanna watch porn instead.
Caption Contest submission. "This isn't what I pictured when you said ball handling skills."
"Fuck those tax paying slaves, can't we get a bigger TV in this place?"
(BTW, soccer is a gay sport, it was recently announced by FIFA: http://www.theonion.com/video/soccer-officially-announces-it-is-gay,17603/)
I'd like to kick that cunts ass. Valarie I meant
Epic Fail Soccer Cheaters
Just like our US President, a fake.
"The SCOTUS must've voted down my executive order that the US always wear black?"
"Oh look, it's raining in Recife.
I hope the weather's better in Palm Springs when we arrive."
" You make sure the German team got those Merkel selfies we got from the NSA"
Do you think the rain'll hurt the rhubarb?