Et Voila: World War Three

Tyler Durden's picture

Authored by Howard J. Kunstler of,

Whoever really runs things these days for the semi-mummified royal administration down in Saudi Arabia must be leaving skid-marks in his small-clothes thinking about Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and his ISIS army of psychopathic killers sweeping hither and thither through what is again being quaintly called “the Levant.” ISIS just concluded an orgy of crucifixions up in Syria over the weekend, the victims being other Islamic militants who were not radical enough, or who had dallied with US support.

Crucifixion sends an interesting and complex message to various parties around this systemically fracturing globe. It’s a step back from the disabling horror of video beheadings, but it still packs a punch. For the Christian West, it re-awakens a certain central cultural narrative that had gone somnolent there for a century or so. ISIS’s message: If you thought the Romans were bad…. Among the human race, you see, the memories linger.

ISIS has successfully shocked the world over the last two weeks by negating eight years, several trillion dollars, and 4,500 battle deaths in the USA’s endeavor to turn Iraq into an obedient oil dispensary. Now they have gone and announced that their conquests of the moment amount to a Caliphate, that is, an Islamic theocracy. In that sense, they are at least out-doing America’s Republican Party, which has been trying to do something similar here from sea to shining sea but finds itself thwarted by hostile blue states on both coasts.

More to the point, the press (another quaint term, I suppose) is not paying any attention whatsoever to what goes down with ISIS and the other states besides Iraq and Syria in the region. I aver to Saudi Arabia especially because Americans seem to regard it as an impregnable bastion against the bloodthirsty craziness spreading over the rest of the Muslim world. Saudi Arabia is, of course, the keystone of OPEC. Saudi Arabia has had the distinction of remaining stable through all the escalating tumult of recent decades, reliably pumping out its roughly 10 million barrels a day like Bossy the cow in America’s oil import barn.

Or seeming to remain stable, I should say, because the Saud family royal administration of mummified rulers and senile princes looks more and more like a Potemkin monarchy every month. 90-year-old King Abdullah has been rumored to be on life support lo these last two years, his successor brothers already dead and gone, and other powerful Arabian clans with leaders who can walk across a room and speak itching to kick this zombie Saud family off the throne. To make matters worse, the Sauds have also managed to sponsor much of the organized Sunni terrorism in the region (around the world, really) in their role as the chief enemy of the Shia ­— as represented by the politicized clergy of Iran.

Things are happening at lightning speed over in the region and beware of how the turmoil spreads from one flashpoint to another. This would be an opportunity for ISIS to put the Saud family on the spot regarding the just-announced Caliphate — as in the question: who really calls the shots for this new theocratic kingdom? (Answer: maybe not you, doddering, mummified, America suck-up Saudi Arabia). What’s more, what happens to the other kingdoms and rickety states in that corner of the world? For instance, Lebanon, which has been a sort of political demolition derby for three decades. The founder of the group al Qaeda in Iraq (AQI), pre-cursor to ISIS, was the Lebanese Abu Mus‘ab al-Zarqawi — blown up in a USA air strike some years ago. Lebanon has been under the sway of Hezbollah for a decade and Hezbollah is sponsored by Shi’ite Iran, making it an enemy of ISIS. Might ISIS roll westward over Hezbollah now to capture the pearl of the Mediterranean (or what’s left of it) Beirut? I wouldn’t be surprised.

Then there’s Jordan, and it’s youngish King Abdullah, another notorious USA ass-kisser. Those crucifixion photos coming out of Syria must be making him a little loose in the bowels. And, of course, Syria, where this whole thing started, is a smoldering rump-roast of a state. And finally, that bugbear in the bull’s-eye of the old Levant: Israel.

It is miraculous that Israel has managed so far to stay out of the way of this juggernaut. Of course, among its chief enemies are Hezbollah and Hezbollah’s foster father, Iran, which happen to be the enemy of ISIS and, of course, in that part of the world the enemy of my enemy is my ally — though, I’m sorry, it’s rather impossible to imagine Israel getting all chummy with the psychopaths of ISIS. One thing is a fact: all other things being equal, Israel has the capability of turning any other state or kingdom in region into an ashtray, if push came to shove. Voila: World War Three.

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knukles's picture

I got an idea.
Why not just send all the immigrants to Detroit?


chumbawamba's picture’s rather impossible to imagine Israel getting all chummy with the psychopaths of ISIS.

The fuck it is.  They cozied up with every despotic Arab regime when it was convenient to do so throughout its history, including the shitty Saudis, the Egyptians under Sadat and Mubbarak, and the ever mythical "Al Qaeda".  They also helped Hamas get rolling.  Not only is Israel a piece of shit as a political state but it's laughably hypocritical.  And fuck them and their "Samson Option".

Kunstler is a douche on this one.  And he used "aver" wrong.

I am Chumbawamba.

john39's picture

I would up vote your comment, but can't... probably the font...  ISIS is israel's baby... and the fact that Israel set up field hospitals for injured "insurgents" and bombed Syria repeatedly should be proof enough for anyone paying attention.

yeah, for the women and childred...  right.

Thought Processor's picture



As a friend of mine said recently:  "This is what happens when you pull out, maybe it's time we just stopped fucking other people."

teslaberry's picture

problem is we should be jizzing inside them, not pulling out. 

fucking is good for you health.

COSMOS's picture

You know ISIS may be threatening the USA but this can be all smoke and mirrors.  Lets face it if ISIS said they were pro USA then USA would look really bad in the eyes of the world.  However the majority of ISIS actions fit nicely the American agenda.

Fish Gone Bad's picture

the enemy of my enemy is my ally

actually, it should be: the enemy of my enemy is probably my enemy as well...

forexskin's picture

and kunstler assumes this miracle of isreal's apparent non involvment is believably real. this is JHK carrying their water while trying make it all look like some blamable fucked up political accident. read "a clean break" and tell me this doesn't have their game theory all over it...

divide and conquer. shia against sunni - que bono?

before long, the great tanned hope ISIS will be brought low, its claim of caliphate shamed, and confusion will reign - again. predicted here first.


starting a post with a (.) disables voting.

Al Huxley's picture

I hope I can remember to use that one in conversation - best comment in a while...

Chuck Walla's picture

Who knew Marxism wasn't the theology of the left?


Ignatius's picture

Yeah, Kuntsler, check your assumptions.

In Kuntsler's world there are no conspiracies -- which would be comforting -- if it were true.

BraveSirRobin's picture

I laugh at all the conspiracy theories on this site. The fact is, our government and their's are filled with blithering idiots. I have worked wiht very high level folks, and trust me, the vast majority are morons. These people cannot properly plan what to have for lunch more so than world domination. The truly bright and inspired are ruthlessly supressed because the morons in charge cannot see through their own vapid stupidity. The reason everyhting is fucked up is because they are fucked up. There is no grand design. The sad thing is this really is a republic, and if we, as a people, were not so fucked up, we would have better leadership. Quit blaming shadowy non-existent cliques and look in the mirror. We are all quite fucked up and therefore are all fucked. That is the truth of the matter. Have a nice day.

Wild Theories's picture

You could've said that with less anger... upvoted for the common sense to see people are more morons than grand schemers.

what's that smell's picture

i laugh at your laughing.

why don't you better spend some of your restless blog time looking into some of those conspiracies....

911, NSA surveillance, salvador option, coke's secret formula, manhattan project, the FED....

jez's picture

He's very sound on WTC Building 7, though. He once wrote that it performed that convincing impression of an expertly dynamited structure falling in on itself because it had been weakened by the twin towers falling.


So the lesson is: don't be in a building that is anywhere near another building that falls down. Because the building you are in might then fall down, out of sympathy with the first one. Structural Engineering 101.

risk.averse's picture

Because the building you are in might then fall down, out of sympathy with the first one. Structural Engineering 101.

Yep, as a structural engineer myself (did SE 101...and 201 and 301 and 401 :-) ) I can confirm this comment is correct...especially if the building next door is massive and knocks out your foundations as it collapses. This what happened when the 100+ storey WT towers collapsed. The force this exerted on surroundings is inconceivable. Puzzles me no-end that people won't accept this!

Thought Processor's picture



Phew, thanks for the lesson in Engineering.

WT7 = IMPLODED because of structural sympathy.



Fish Gone Bad's picture

I thought the official story on WT7 was there was a fire in some office trash can.

forexskin's picture

This what happened when the 100+ storey WT towers collapsed. The force this exerted on surroundings is inconceivable. Puzzles me no-end that people won't accept this!

that's some sharp sarc.

buyingsterling's picture

Were the foundations knocked out? I don't remember reading that any nearby buildings - the ones that didn't collapse and are still standing - suffered any foundation damage that needed repair. So is it an all of nothing thing - no sign of damage until total collapse occurs?

Also, perhaps you can explain why there weren't giant steel spires sticking up out of the wreckage. What force pulverized the massive steel columns? Why did two foot wide steel pillars essentially vaporize? And if that actually happens, why do building demolition teams run charges all the way up the columns, if a blown foundation will precipitate a collapse that will pulverize them all?

What did Larry Silverstein mean when he said, 'pull it' if he didn't mean 'pull it', since it was said in the *$%U%@# context of a building collapse?

Got answers? No. Got dick, guaranfuckinteed because there are no answers that don't reduce the IQ of everyone that thinks or hears them. Retarded answers for what the government believes is a retarded public - exactly what we should expect.

Smiley's picture

That would be racist by way of gentrification:  The immigrants are at least motivated to go somewhere else to look for a better life, they might actually *GASP* do something constructive for the area(s) they move to.  That would price the local...inhabitants...out of their communities and mess with subsidy checks if an area is no longer considered a demilitarized zone.

MeMadMax's picture

ISIS is just a band of roving thugs that take advantage of weak adversaries... 

Like robbers in the night, they surprise and take advantage of their opponent.


But in the end, they can't carry on a protracted war or hold territory either, SYRIA proves this.


Yea, sure, they are scary... but all it really takes is someone that can hold on and just keep on nailing them over and over till they run out of warm phycopathic bodies *cough* assad *cough* *cough*...


That's why they went to Iraq... Not to expand their "caliphate" but to get the hell out of syria and live for a while longer...

andrewp111's picture

No. They went into Iraq to grab cash and oil, and draft more cannon fodder. They will return to fight Assad's forces soon enough.

midtowng's picture

Barring the Iraqi government imploding, ISIS has already peaked. But that doesn't mean that Iraq is going to be taking that land back. It's going to be a bloody stalemate.

Da Yooper's picture

Timing is everything & the clock is ticking 2016 elections are going to be interesting


IF we have them

forexskin's picture

good to see you gettin with da program

Dr. Everett V. Scott's picture

This disaster must be laid at the feet of Obama. He always blames everyone and everything else. But the buck stops there.

A community organizer in an empty suit. Not good.

The Alarmist's picture

2014 ... right on schedule per that greek guy, eh?

7.62x54r's picture

Woof! goes the mideast.

Lovely work, Ofucktard.

Stoploss's picture


TheReplacement's picture

Why do WE have to kill anyone?  Why can't WE just leave.  If they kill each other it is their sin, not ours.  If they stop and find a better way then the sin is still not ours. 

If we leave and they come here to kill us, then kill all who come.

forexskin's picture

no foreign entanglements.

an idea whose time never left.

ShrNfr's picture

I suspect the House of Saud already has several nukes in its back pocket. They may be being stored in Pakistan, but they proabably have been paid for. Meanwhile Obama whines about the SCOTUS decision and mumbles about sending the army of kids entering this country into a retreat.

Ness.'s picture

35 shot in the Obama community this weekend.  *crickets*

Damn, I grew up on a farm and there was a saying about corn, "knee high by the fourth of July" meant a good harvest was on the way.  Here in Chicago when we talk about "knee high..." we're talking about stacking bodies, not corn.  

<oh look! shiny keys>

rsnoble's picture

Thanks to GMO it's 6' tall well before the 4th.

Oldrepublic's picture

re: nukes

a great read is chapter 9 of James Risen’s book, state of war, about how the CIA gave away by mistake plans  for a nuclear bomb to the Iranians in Vienna.

The US governments wants Risen to tell them his sources for that chapter.

The complete chapter is included in the link


goldhedge's picture

Saudi getting a bit of the good ole Blowback.

suteibu's picture

Fuck your partisan shit.

Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Seriously, I stopped reading the second I got to this fuckheaded author getting into republican vs democrat and equating ISIS to either.  Howie Kunstsuckler-what's-his name is a fucking idiot.

Oldwood's picture

I second that notion. Its exactly this broad stroke idiocy that gets us into these conditions in the first place. Anyone who resists progressive change is equated to crucifying murderers.

ThroxxOfVron's picture

Agreed.  He's just another limo-neo-lib divide-n-conquer con artist trying to change the subject now that Obama is the duopoly figurehead in charge of this rapidly unravelling mess in Iraq.  

IF the NSA was listening to coms in Iraq an Syria and Saudi Arabia, instead of violating the rights of of the Citizenry, then the Administration might not have been caught flat-footed by ISIS/ISIL storming through Iraq and grabbing whole air bases full of high-grade military hardware and looting banks of hundreds of millions of dollars. 

Maybe too much time and money has been totally fucking wasted trying to force place HMOs, abuse religious conservatives with the IRS, run guns to Mexican druglords, import Guatamalan children to create a 'humanitarian crisis' to manage by further impairing the domestic labor market, and playing bailout with the labor unions and insolvent banks?

"Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right..."

TheReplacement's picture

Why do you think the NSA and CIA were not aware of ISIS plans and preps for attacking Iraq?  We sent drones over there weeks in advance.  ISIS was putting their flags on their hoods (to be seen from above?) instead on on the sides of the vehicles or on staffs.  Some of them were supposedly trained by US assets in Jordan.  Some of their arms are reported to have come from US supply efforts in Jordan, Turkey, and Syria proper, not to mention all the loot they got in taking Mosul (funny they were able to drive across the border, attack Mosul, and then take... the border...).

These people are somewhat talented and they can multitask - crushing liberty at home and unleashing chaos around the world.

Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

Ya pretty much. He makes good points, and I really like his style of writing, but he continually brings up shit like that and it is annoying. As if those on the left in this country were just drug by the nose into this shit by the neocons, when all these fuckers are the same. Even mentioning democrat vs republican in this article made it lose a lot of credibility. And don't forget he admits to voting for Obama twice. Apparently he had his head buried in the sand for those first 4 years.

TheReplacement's picture

Aren't neocons just warmongering reformed Democrats?  If you divide the neocons from the actual conservative Republicans, when is the last time a non-neocon Republican started a major war overseas?  Proof the Republican party is captured.

Yeah I do have a thing against Democrats.  They have been captured so long that several generations have come and are going and they still believe that communist crap they sell.  The more they implement it the worse it makes life for the people they are supposedly trying to help.  Obviously there aren't many souls in that party truly concerned about the plight of others when they just keep on making themselves richer while hashtag hoping for homeless people to suddenly prosper because someone gave them $ each month. 

forexskin's picture

neocons = PNAC = (pearle, wolfowitz, abrams, kristol, et al...) zionists all