ISIS Caliphate Demands All Muslims Immigrate To "Islamic State"

Tyler Durden's picture

Having declared a caliphate, the terrorist group formerly known as ISIS (or ISIL) has decided a rebranding is in order. Since the group no longer recognizes the political distinction between Iraq and Syria, it has dropped the "Iraq" and "Levant" from its name, making it only the "Islamic State". The leader of the extremist group is looking to build his presence, as AP reports, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi released a 19-minute tape demanding, "Muslims, rush to your state. Yes, it is your state."

As AP reports,

The leader of the extremist group that has swept over much of northern Syria and Iraq has called on Muslims to come to the territory his group has seized to help build an Islamic state.

 

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, head of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, says in a 19-minute audiotape released on line Tuesday: "Muslims, rush to your state. Yes, it is your state."

And Stratfor notes,

On June 29, a spokesman for the militant group the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant announced that the group had established a caliphate, a political institution to govern the global Muslim community, stretching from Diyala province, Iraq, to Aleppo, Syria. Since the group no longer recognizes the political distinction between Iraq and Syria, it has dropped the "Iraq" and "Levant" from its name, making it only the Islamic State.

The trouble with the announcement is that the Islamic State does not have a caliphate and probably never will. The new moniker will not change the fact that geography, political ideology, and religious, cultural and ethnic differences will prevent the emergence of a singular polity capable of ruling the greater Middle East. Even the Islamic State, which has made impressive territorial gains quickly, has only an emirate, which encompasses a far smaller geographic area than a caliphate. Establishing an emirate is not terribly remarkable. Similar groups have established emirates before: The Taliban ruled more than 90 percent of Afghanistan prior to 9/11, and al Qaeda franchise groups oversaw short-lived emirates in Yemen and Mali.

Still, the Islamic State's announcement represents the first serious attempt to re-establish the caliphate since the Turkish Republic abolished the institution in 1924. During the past 90 years, there have been a few other attempts to revive the caliphate, but none were particularly successful.

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DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Immigrate, or it's off with your heads!  Or up on the cross!

max2205's picture

IS.......crap
Was....crap
Will be.....crap

Conjugated it

NotApplicable's picture

"Depends on what the meaning of IS is."

ZerOhead's picture
ISIS Caliphate Demands All Muslims Immigrate To "Islamic State"

 

WOW

Well that neatly solves the longstanding Isreal/Palestine problem then.

Is anyone sure that this "Abu Bakr" man of mystery isn't really actually "BiBi Bakr"?

Manthong's picture

Hey, we could ship all of the Mexican, Guatemalan, Honduran etc. kids over there.

I’m sure they would be welcomed as converts.. or whatever.

And I am sure that would encourage the parents of the next batch to rethink things.

Massachusetts or Mosul.. what’s the difference?

Headbanger's picture

Good!  Hope the all move there and soon!

Cause it's so much easier to nuke em in one spot.

More environmentally friendly too.

strannick's picture

Seems the Muslims arent interested in immigrating to a ''Caliphate'' and are rushing to immigrate to the decandent Christian west instead.

Wonder why they want to bring Shira law to the west, when Muslims can go to the I.S.I.S, and live Muslim Shira law in all its purist glory...

flacon's picture

I see Statists EVERYWHERE! FUCK THE STATE! 

strannick's picture

Yeah, and that goes triple for Muslim Shira laws states.

Thought Processor's picture

 

 

Anyone else notice that Israel is strangely quite about all of this?

 

The silence is deafening. 

Headbanger's picture

Israel is sitting back watching to see how many Muslims kill each other this time and waiting for all the survivors to move to ISIS land so they can all be nuked in one spot.

Look, fact is the world is way over populated and these 15th century mental midget Muslims are causing a lot of grief for everybody else.

So they have to go.

And believe me, if the Muslims start fucking with the Asians the way they have been with the West..  They'll wipe em all out in no time.

 

MeMadMax's picture

lol

In reality, they hold far less territory in syria and it is shrinking by the day....

 

That's why they went to Iraq because they have lost syria...

SafelyGraze's picture

isis -- 

good luck with your nationbuilding activity.

establishing a state based on ethnicity and religion is difficult to achieve these days.

one tip: avoid having a constitution

it would get in the way of progress.

hugs,
ben 

 

magpie's picture

Netanyahu announced they will reoccupy the West Bank-Jordanian border...you never know when Hillary suddenly remembers that the King there is an unelected tyrant and starts quoting Caesar backwards.

Sheppy's picture

ONly if we're lucky.

 

As for the Israeli's, it wasn't to quiet over HAMAS-dome today. 30 Sorties flown to teach a lesson of what happens when you kidnap and kill teenage jews. No word from America on that though, even though I think one of them was American. Barry prolly just throw another couple million their way and release some murderers, then blame Bush. It all works out in the end...

paddyirishman's picture

Because they're the ones behind it all, ISIS is a mossad creation.

rubiconsolutions's picture

"Muslims, rush to your state. Yes, it is your state."

"Yes, and we will issue you new passport made of thin sheets of Semtex. And for the next thirty days only if you rush to your state we will give you extra clips for your brand new Kalashnikov rifle. Please, come stay at our new Howard Johnson's motor lodge built from real motors of surplus US military vehicles. Room service includes but is not limited to: virgin girls captured by our highly skilled members. 'Nuff said, right? Night manager is direct from Detroit so has much experience in all things Muslim. Come one, come all!"

 

Pure Evil's picture

So sorry. You only get virgins in the next life. And since they don't exactly specify which sex the virgin is all the more better.

As for this life, you'll have to live with little boys and goats as your victory prizes.

newbie vampire's picture

"Yes, and we will issue you new passport made of thin sheets of Semtex. And for the next thirty days only if you rush to your state we will give you extra clips for your brand new Kalashnikov rifle."

Do NOT leave them under-equiped without their obligatory suicide bomb vests.  And grab your 60 virgins before the Islamic state runs out of stock.

omniversling's picture

ISIS = advance party for Eretz Israel

newbie vampire's picture

"Wonder why they want to bring Shira law to the west, when Muslims can go to the I.S.I.S, and live Muslim Shira law in all its purist glory..."

The decadent West should allow ISIS to "actively encourage" those unfortunate Muslims denied Sharia laws and compelled to take the disgusting monetary rewards pushed on them by the western societies./sarc

beaker's picture

Yesssssssssssss!!!!!  Let'd buy them plane tickets!  Now THAT'S a good use of tax money!  Ship them all over there!!!  Please!!!!!!

Thought Processor's picture

 

 

Now it just IS.

 

I think I liked it better when it was ISIS.  Had a certain ring to it.

 

 

Ignatius's picture

How about Theatre?

Empire Burlesque.

Thought Processor's picture

 

 

Or maybe:

 

"The Terrorist Group formerly known as ISIS"

 

Regardless, they should fire their head of PR.

Zirpedge's picture

"Terroristan" would only apply if you claimed an exclusive privelege to be "terrorized"..you skeered skateboarder? You a victim of Terroristan?

I think the concept of Middle East borders drawn up by some fat ol Englishmen are worthless to enforce. I think President Obama will agree that we are world citizens who should learn to love eachother in a borderless world.

 

Uncle Remus's picture

.

I think President Obama will agree that we are world citizens who should learn to love eachother in a borderless world.

Clearly, fasting for Ramadan is effecting your cognitive capabilities.

nmewn's picture

"I think President Obama will agree that we are world citizens who should learn to love eachother in a borderless world."

lol...so thats why he opened up the southern border?

New_Meat's picture

nmewn: oh no, he didn't open any borders, he was golfing 'n shit.

but when Our Dear Leader found out  about this supposed problem, he is going to Congress to gain a solution.

don't cha' know.

- Ned

nmewn's picture

Yeah, the fucking guy sics Holder on border states (the US...sues its own member states over illegals, everyone wrap your head around that crucial piece of information from the not so distant past) preventing the states (by its "law"...lol) from enforcing their own borders, then turns to the press and says...wut?

"I need Congress to act! I didn't do anything!"

What an asshole.

Miffed Microbiologist's picture

I'm just wondering how he will massage the stats on the crime rate when it soars in the border towns. Oh yeah, he'd probably declare an executive order banning gun sales to keep the peace knowing his perverse logic. Of course if I were a conspiracy theorist, I may think that would be deliberate. Time for anticipating such a scenario is coming to an end.

Miffed;-)

nmewn's picture

Knowing him, he'll rush in guys with ties carrying checkbooks and the remants of ACORN for a voter registration drive.

Uncle Remus's picture

Well, that's just nuts.

Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Hmmm, you think as I do. Then Holder could surreptitiously slip them a few high powered long guns and hope they run us over fast and furiously. A twofer for him. I may have a front row seat on this one. Not quite out of the play book by Saul Alinsky but updated for modern times.

Miffed;-)

New_Meat's picture

Yo, miffed, if'n u b front row seat, I'd wish that u gain the bullet in your hand, nay nor other body part.

don't cha' know.

- Ned

Miffed Microbiologist's picture

CYA has always been in my plans and, although tempting, I hadn't planned on mooning them. Perhaps after mr Mossberg is done. Though I do pray it never comes to that.

Miffed;-)

Monty Burns's picture

Bloody great idea. Come on, we get shot of our Muslims and when they're over there they can have all the things the claim they can't get here, like halal, stoning for adultery, execution of apostates.  It's a sure win-win.

flyingcaveman's picture

CrISISstan, you can't spell crisis without ISIS.

BigJim's picture

 ISIS Caliphate Demands All Muslims Immigrate To "Islamic State"

What, all 1.2 billion of them? That will be something to see.

Matt's picture

No, only the True Believers, that are the right sect, right ethnicity, and right level of zealotry. They execute everyone else who is wrong bloodline, wrong sect, or lacking in extremism. 

Pladizow's picture

I wonder how many american muslims will take him up on his offer?

john39's picture

a few disillusioned kids, sucked in by the ZATO lies and propaganda...    This is all a farce to set the stage for endless wars.

McMolotov's picture

"Come for the beautiful desert scenery, stay for the beheadings and liver-eating." —ISIS travel brochure

Squid Viscous's picture

"New Caliphate and you - pehrfect togethah!"

- Tom "911 whitewash" Keane