ISIS Caliphate Demands All Muslims Immigrate To "Islamic State"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Having declared a caliphate, the terrorist group formerly known as ISIS (or ISIL) has decided a rebranding is in order. Since the group no longer recognizes the political distinction between Iraq and Syria, it has dropped the "Iraq" and "Levant" from its name, making it only the "Islamic State". The leader of the extremist group is looking to build his presence, as AP reports, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi released a 19-minute tape demanding, "Muslims, rush to your state. Yes, it is your state."

As AP reports,

The leader of the extremist group that has swept over much of northern Syria and Iraq has called on Muslims to come to the territory his group has seized to help build an Islamic state.

 

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, head of the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, says in a 19-minute audiotape released on line Tuesday: "Muslims, rush to your state. Yes, it is your state."

And Stratfor notes,

On June 29, a spokesman for the militant group the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant announced that the group had established a caliphate, a political institution to govern the global Muslim community, stretching from Diyala province, Iraq, to Aleppo, Syria. Since the group no longer recognizes the political distinction between Iraq and Syria, it has dropped the "Iraq" and "Levant" from its name, making it only the Islamic State.

The trouble with the announcement is that the Islamic State does not have a caliphate and probably never will. The new moniker will not change the fact that geography, political ideology, and religious, cultural and ethnic differences will prevent the emergence of a singular polity capable of ruling the greater Middle East. Even the Islamic State, which has made impressive territorial gains quickly, has only an emirate, which encompasses a far smaller geographic area than a caliphate. Establishing an emirate is not terribly remarkable. Similar groups have established emirates before: The Taliban ruled more than 90 percent of Afghanistan prior to 9/11, and al Qaeda franchise groups oversaw short-lived emirates in Yemen and Mali.

Still, the Islamic State's announcement represents the first serious attempt to re-establish the caliphate since the Turkish Republic abolished the institution in 1924. During the past 90 years, there have been a few other attempts to revive the caliphate, but none were particularly successful.

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Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:01 | 4915139 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Immigrate, or it's off with your heads!  Or up on the cross!

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:02 | 4915143 The Gooch
The Gooch's picture

Hey! Dearborn!

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:04 | 4915151 max2205
max2205's picture

IS.......crap
Was....crap
Will be.....crap

Conjugated it

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:15 | 4915195 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

"Depends on what the meaning of IS is."

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:26 | 4915212 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture
ISIS Caliphate Demands All Muslims Immigrate To "Islamic State"

 

WOW

Well that neatly solves the longstanding Isreal/Palestine problem then.

Is anyone sure that this "Abu Bakr" man of mystery isn't really actually "BiBi Bakr"?

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:27 | 4915235 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Hey, we could ship all of the Mexican, Guatemalan, Honduran etc. kids over there.

I’m sure they would be welcomed as converts.. or whatever.

And I am sure that would encourage the parents of the next batch to rethink things.

Massachusetts or Mosul.. what’s the difference?

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:48 | 4915324 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Good!  Hope the all move there and soon!

Cause it's so much easier to nuke em in one spot.

More environmentally friendly too.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 18:02 | 4915356 strannick
strannick's picture

Seems the Muslims arent interested in immigrating to a ''Caliphate'' and are rushing to immigrate to the decandent Christian west instead.

Wonder why they want to bring Shira law to the west, when Muslims can go to the I.S.I.S, and live Muslim Shira law in all its purist glory...

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 18:05 | 4915378 flacon
flacon's picture

I see Statists EVERYWHERE! FUCK THE STATE! 

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 18:10 | 4915396 strannick
strannick's picture

Yeah, and that goes triple for Muslim Shira laws states.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 18:33 | 4915463 Thought Processor
Thought Processor's picture

 

 

Anyone else notice that Israel is strangely quite about all of this?

 

The silence is deafening. 

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 18:47 | 4915499 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Israel is sitting back watching to see how many Muslims kill each other this time and waiting for all the survivors to move to ISIS land so they can all be nuked in one spot.

Look, fact is the world is way over populated and these 15th century mental midget Muslims are causing a lot of grief for everybody else.

So they have to go.

And believe me, if the Muslims start fucking with the Asians the way they have been with the West..  They'll wipe em all out in no time.

 

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 18:51 | 4915520 MeMadMax
MeMadMax's picture

lol

In reality, they hold far less territory in syria and it is shrinking by the day....

 

That's why they went to Iraq because they have lost syria...

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 19:33 | 4915706 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

isis -- 

good luck with your nationbuilding activity.

establishing a state based on ethnicity and religion is difficult to achieve these days.

one tip: avoid having a constitution

it would get in the way of progress.

hugs,
ben 

 

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 19:19 | 4915663 magpie
magpie's picture

Netanyahu announced they will reoccupy the West Bank-Jordanian border...you never know when Hillary suddenly remembers that the King there is an unelected tyrant and starts quoting Caesar backwards.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 22:51 | 4916407 Sheppy
Sheppy's picture

ONly if we're lucky.

 

As for the Israeli's, it wasn't to quiet over HAMAS-dome today. 30 Sorties flown to teach a lesson of what happens when you kidnap and kill teenage jews. No word from America on that though, even though I think one of them was American. Barry prolly just throw another couple million their way and release some murderers, then blame Bush. It all works out in the end...

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 19:08 | 4915608 paddyirishman
paddyirishman's picture

Because they're the ones behind it all, ISIS is a mossad creation.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 19:29 | 4915699 rubiconsolutions
rubiconsolutions's picture

"Muslims, rush to your state. Yes, it is your state."

"Yes, and we will issue you new passport made of thin sheets of Semtex. And for the next thirty days only if you rush to your state we will give you extra clips for your brand new Kalashnikov rifle. Please, come stay at our new Howard Johnson's motor lodge built from real motors of surplus US military vehicles. Room service includes but is not limited to: virgin girls captured by our highly skilled members. 'Nuff said, right? Night manager is direct from Detroit so has much experience in all things Muslim. Come one, come all!"

 

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 19:43 | 4915755 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

So sorry. You only get virgins in the next life. And since they don't exactly specify which sex the virgin is all the more better.

As for this life, you'll have to live with little boys and goats as your victory prizes.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 20:47 | 4915965 newbie vampire
newbie vampire's picture

"Yes, and we will issue you new passport made of thin sheets of Semtex. And for the next thirty days only if you rush to your state we will give you extra clips for your brand new Kalashnikov rifle."

Do NOT leave them under-equiped without their obligatory suicide bomb vests.  And grab your 60 virgins before the Islamic state runs out of stock.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 19:59 | 4915809 omniversling
omniversling's picture

ISIS = advance party for Eretz Israel

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 20:24 | 4915891 newbie vampire
newbie vampire's picture

"Wonder why they want to bring Shira law to the west, when Muslims can go to the I.S.I.S, and live Muslim Shira law in all its purist glory..."

The decadent West should allow ISIS to "actively encourage" those unfortunate Muslims denied Sharia laws and compelled to take the disgusting monetary rewards pushed on them by the western societies./sarc

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 19:50 | 4915775 beaker
beaker's picture

Yesssssssssssss!!!!!  Let'd buy them plane tickets!  Now THAT'S a good use of tax money!  Ship them all over there!!!  Please!!!!!!

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:28 | 4915236 Thought Processor
Thought Processor's picture

 

 

Now it just IS.

 

I think I liked it better when it was ISIS.  Had a certain ring to it.

 

 

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:34 | 4915257 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

How about Terroristan?

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:48 | 4915296 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

How about Theatre?

Empire Burlesque.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:43 | 4915302 Thought Processor
Thought Processor's picture

 

 

Or maybe:

 

"The Terrorist Group formerly known as ISIS"

 

Regardless, they should fire their head of PR.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:47 | 4915316 Zirpedge
Zirpedge's picture

"Terroristan" would only apply if you claimed an exclusive privelege to be "terrorized"..you skeered skateboarder? You a victim of Terroristan?

I think the concept of Middle East borders drawn up by some fat ol Englishmen are worthless to enforce. I think President Obama will agree that we are world citizens who should learn to love eachother in a borderless world.

 

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:55 | 4915343 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

.

I think President Obama will agree that we are world citizens who should learn to love eachother in a borderless world.

Clearly, fasting for Ramadan is effecting your cognitive capabilities.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 19:07 | 4915606 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"I think President Obama will agree that we are world citizens who should learn to love eachother in a borderless world."

lol...so thats why he opened up the southern border?

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 19:29 | 4915701 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

nmewn: oh no, he didn't open any borders, he was golfing 'n shit.

but when Our Dear Leader found out  about this supposed problem, he is going to Congress to gain a solution.

don't cha' know.

- Ned

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 19:43 | 4915752 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Yeah, the fucking guy sics Holder on border states (the US...sues its own member states over illegals, everyone wrap your head around that crucial piece of information from the not so distant past) preventing the states (by its "law"...lol) from enforcing their own borders, then turns to the press and says...wut?

"I need Congress to act! I didn't do anything!"

What an asshole.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 19:55 | 4915789 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

I'm just wondering how he will massage the stats on the crime rate when it soars in the border towns. Oh yeah, he'd probably declare an executive order banning gun sales to keep the peace knowing his perverse logic. Of course if I were a conspiracy theorist, I may think that would be deliberate. Time for anticipating such a scenario is coming to an end.

Miffed;-)

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 20:01 | 4915817 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Knowing him, he'll rush in guys with ties carrying checkbooks and the remants of ACORN for a voter registration drive.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 20:07 | 4915841 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Well, that's just nuts.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 20:14 | 4915860 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Hmmm, you think as I do. Then Holder could surreptitiously slip them a few high powered long guns and hope they run us over fast and furiously. A twofer for him. I may have a front row seat on this one. Not quite out of the play book by Saul Alinsky but updated for modern times.

Miffed;-)

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 20:28 | 4915903 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

Yo, miffed, if'n u b front row seat, I'd wish that u gain the bullet in your hand, nay nor other body part.

don't cha' know.

- Ned

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 20:39 | 4915926 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

CYA has always been in my plans and, although tempting, I hadn't planned on mooning them. Perhaps after mr Mossberg is done. Though I do pray it never comes to that.

Miffed;-)

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 19:49 | 4915769 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

"Well, not only."

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 18:48 | 4915512 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

Bloody great idea. Come on, we get shot of our Muslims and when they're over there they can have all the things the claim they can't get here, like halal, stoning for adultery, execution of apostates.  It's a sure win-win.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 23:27 | 4916512 flyingcaveman
flyingcaveman's picture

CrISISstan, you can't spell crisis without ISIS.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 19:41 | 4915741 BigJim
BigJim's picture

 ISIS Caliphate Demands All Muslims Immigrate To "Islamic State"

What, all 1.2 billion of them? That will be something to see.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 20:01 | 4915815 Matt
Matt's picture

No, only the True Believers, that are the right sect, right ethnicity, and right level of zealotry. They execute everyone else who is wrong bloodline, wrong sect, or lacking in extremism. 

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:26 | 4915233 cifo
cifo's picture

What a mockery.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:05 | 4915154 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

I wonder how many american muslims will take him up on his offer?

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:13 | 4915193 john39
john39's picture

a few disillusioned kids, sucked in by the ZATO lies and propaganda...    This is all a farce to set the stage for endless wars.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:22 | 4915220 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

"Come for the beautiful desert scenery, stay for the beheadings and liver-eating." —ISIS travel brochure

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:56 | 4915349 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

"New Caliphate and you - pehrfect togethah!"

- Tom "911 whitewash" Keane

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:05 | 4915155 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

Dearbornistan.

Tue, 07/01/2014 - 17:37 | 4915269 Thirtyseven
Thirtyseven's picture

Al-Lon'don.

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