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Jamie Dimon Diagnosed With Throat Cancer, To Start Radiation And Chemotherapy
He may be "richer than you", but when it comes to cancer everyone is equal. Moments ago, Dow Jones and Bloomberg broke news that JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon has been diagnosed with throat cancer.
- J.P. Morgan JPM Chairman, CEO Jamie Dimon Tells Employees, Shareholders He Has Been Diagnosed With Throat Cancer, Condition Curable
- Dimon Says Prognosis "Excellent," Cancer "Caught Quickly"
- Dimon Says Cancer Confined, No Evidence Elsewhere
- Dimon to start Radiation and Chemotherapy Treatment at Sloan Kettering, treatment to last 8 weeks
- Dimon advised able to continue to be actively involved in the business
And now the best healthcare that money can buy will be promptly put to use. We wish him a speedy recovery as it would be far more equitable for the JPM CEO to answer for his actions in full health before a jury of his peers, where guilt can not be "admitted or denied" away.
Full Dimon email
Message from Jamie Dimon to all colleagues and shareholders
Subject line: Sharing some personal news
Dear Colleagues and Shareholders -
I wanted to let you know that I have just been diagnosed with throat cancer. The good news is that the prognosis from my doctors is excellent, the cancer was caught quickly, and my condition is curable. Following thorough tests that included a CAT scan, PET scan and a biopsy, the cancer is confined to the original site and the adjacent lymph nodes on the right side of my neck. Importantly, there is no evidence of cancer elsewhere in my body.
My evaluation and treatment plan are still being finalized, but at this time it appears I will begin radiation and chemotherapy treatment shortly at Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital, which should take approximately eight weeks. While the treatment will curtail my travel during this period, I have been advised that I will be able to continue to be actively involved in our business, and we will continue to run the company as normal. Our Board has been fully briefed and is totally supportive.
As you all know, we have outstanding leaders across our businesses and functions – the best team I’ve ever had the privilege of working with – so our company will move forward together with confidence as we continue to deliver first-class results for our customers, communities and shareholders.
I feel very good now and will let all of you know if my health situation changes.
I appreciate your support and want to thank our employees for the amazing work they do day-in and day-out. I’m very proud to be part of this company and honored to be working with such an exceptional group of people.
Jamie
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A friend of mine died of throat cancer in Feb. of this year. Not sure I wish it on anyone, even Jamie Dimon. Pretty miserable.
Dimon did too much DATY?
Let's all be more kind about his illness now
And send him a nail gun.
Maybe GOD no longer wants Jamie to speak?
...or throwing Jamie off a building would be a little too obvious?
Not if he lands in some deep cold fast flowing water 500 feet below.
I know! We'll take him out bungee jumping off a very high bridge over a flooded river....
And I wonder how many people committed suicide because of decisions he and his bank made these past five years??
From eating IPads like the rest of us?
Jamie may be richer than us but he is not at the top of the food chain. It's widely believed that Jack Ruby, Hugo Chavez and others have been given weaponized cancer. Taking out the high level guys might make sense now if we accept V and Lagarde's recent speaches about something big in July...
...and correct gh0atrider if he is wrong, but isn't throat cancer rare in non-smokers and non-chewers?
If this weasel Dimon comes out and starts getting all philosophical over this ("I never realized how precious life is. I'm a changed man. You can't take it with you.") I will be the first to send him a letter saying, basically, fuck off and suck it up your stoma, big boy. Nobody wants to hear your banker sniveling.
Money is gold, and nothing else. Throat cancer is expected when living a diabolical bankers life of sucking on the golden teat. - JP Morgan
Death is the great equalizer.
Too bad for him, chemotherapy is a scam.
I am sure he walks up the Rockefeller Center instead, where the cancer cures are locked up before the commoners since decades.
He'll get a lot better care than most.
I doubt his medical bills will bankrupt him and lead to foreclosure
So, no, cancer is not the same for everyone.
Death is.
Hopefully a lot of banksters can reach equality.
"You can't invade the Pearly Gate with the machinery of State"
http://daisyhouse.bandcamp.com/track/whats-your-time-bought
So there's a god, afterall.
Don't believe it till the Dimon scum is 6 feet under. He said it was caught early on the evening news. Could of been a biopsy that was just carcinoma in situ, meaning the shit never got a chance to spread or invade. The clown is playing it up for some sympathy for whatever reason.
Look on the bright side: his tumour has spread to regional lymph nodes.
While he may already be completely cured, this could also be just the start of a long and very unhappy chain of events. It's bad if any tumour gets into the bones of the face/skull.
Twain's great quote about Jane Austen seems appropriate here.
"It seems a great pity that they allowed her to die a natural death."
there is only one true value and we all trade it for things that are comparatively worthless.
It's a good start but plenty more crooks to go.
Couldn't happen to a nicer scumbag.
I didn't think snakes got cancer.
All you folks wishing him a slow death and even more so the ones offering sympathy need to take a look at Chris Dodd. Oh the pity party and slow death wishes he received at the time but Chris and his cancer were nothing more than a PR stunt for him to move on to greener lobbiest pastures and to be forgotten. Diamon and his cancer will be the same, "is he dead? poor fellow, struck down in his prime? where is he these days?" So, goodbye Jamie you miserable fuck, your exit is prepared, say hello to Chris will ya.
No more lies, no lore lies
AD
yeah it's probably a pr stunt. maybe i'm too cynical...
Major, disfiguring facial surgery can be interesting, not that I would wish such a thing on anyone in particular.
They just need a cover story for a routine procedure to replace the clone... move along, nothing to see here.
Perhaps all that radiated golden cock he's been sucking.
Michael Douglas says you get it from eating bad pussy, maybe those uptown hookers aren't as clean as one would imagine?
Maybe he can change his name to Ned and get one of those electronic voice box thingys.
He got it from all those big fat cigars he smoked to celebrate each time he swindled some pension fund or country.
I was going to bring up stogies. you beat me to it.
I've been smoken em for years, but in moderation. One a week or so.
From Bloomberg:
Studies have shown that more than 70 percent of U.S. cancer cases in this area of the throat are the result of infection with human papillomavirus, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta. Smoking and excessive alcohol consumption are the other main contributors...
When cancers are induced by HPV rather than by smoking, “there may be significant improvement in the chance of responding to therapy and remaining cancer free following therapy,” Masters said. “There are some differences in the way tumors grow and propagate from the way they are induced by HPV and the way they’re induced by smoking.”
Doctor to Jamie - I have good news and bad news
Jamie: Bad news first
Doctor: We have a cure but it can only be applied to you orally from the tip of satan's cock
Jamie: forget the bad news, I got this down.
attention reggie love
get yourself checked
if it happened to jd, it could happen to you
hugs,
barry
Pathetic , the Schadenfreude I see here on Zerohedge, at someone's misfortune.
I thought America was a land devoid of jealousy at others' success.
Yup, that's us all right!
I was never one to laud someone's criminal success.
Ya eat too many blue pills, and look what happens!
Chemo is only effective for 3% of adult cancer patients!
Piece I read said only 4% survive chemo for over 5 years. It kills the heart muscle also.
Many times people don't have it. A friend of mine survived chemo. He said I did not even know I had cancer, felt fine until the check up. I told him maybe you didn't.
Exactly, you are better off without chemo almost 100% of the time.
Too hard to tell to those who think this is their only hope.
Why take more of what is most likely causing it in the first place? Decades of nuclear atmospheric testing, Chernobyl, Santa Susanna, Hanford, Fukushima, WIPP, on and on.
Is it the chemicals in the tobacco, the fiberglass in the filter, or the radiation in the soil that the tobacco is grown in?
Fukushima is the final nail. There will be more, but Fukushima was enough. Right now WIPP is just the icing on the nuclear yellow cake.
Forget the chemo, try silver.
Cam someobe be kind enough to tell him chemo is outdated...
A Recipe To Make Cannabis Oil For A Chemotherapy AlternativeHopefully not.
not suicides, most likely trade arrangements secured by a "love note" that JPM or the feds failed to make good on, dk'ing the receiver. When the victum complained or threat to show compliance records, they were hit with a nail gun or pushed off the roof. Compliance audit will show a lot of unusual suspect trading since '05, as this site points out regularly.
Sending an angel to smote Jamie would be undetectable too.
Thats what happens when you swallow instead of spit
That was funny.
Maybe GOD wants him to stop doing Gods work.
Someone wants Jamie to STFU.
bullshit and lies coming out of ones mouth can cause cancer? wow i did not know this.
in reality though, it's just an excuse to be out of the office cuz the Shit is about to hit the fan and he knows it. Next up with a unforseen medical problem will be lord "doing god's work" Blankfein
if only that little fuck "i have my balls stuck in my throat thats why I talk like that" Lloyd Bank-fiend would announce something similar... it would be a great weekend for roasting weenies
Does throat cancer come from sucking FED cock?
~"Maybe GOD no longer wants Jamie to speak?"~
My thoughts were that there is something incredibly Dante's Inferno-ish about old Jamie getting it in the throat. Nothing could be more apropos for someone who made his living by preaching deceit.
“I wear the chain I forged in life....I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.” ~ Dickens
Yeah, I'll be very surprised if he goes all reformed Scrooge on us.
I hope he spread this to his buddies.
Luckily it's not contagious. It's the direct result of how many c*cks he had to puff on to reach the top.
Did Rottenfellar give him HPV?
Let us all see that this is a complete attempted EMPATHY front.
DIE mf DIE.
S L O W L Y.
Part of the Natural Order: the Devil claims one of his own.
I was going to feed him to the tiger one of these days, sort of the same thing.
Guess I missed my chance.
As long as the tiger stays away from his throat and lymphatic system I'm sure it will be okay.
To bad it wasnt dick cancer. It would of made it harder for him to fuck us.
cursed by a billion struggling middle class can cause throat cancer.
Better a thousand Dimons than a single innocent.
"Not sure I wish it on anyone, even Jamie Dimon. Pretty miserable."
I didn't wish it on him, but I'm not going to shed a tear either.
Fair enough. I ain't gonna cry for him, either.
Sorry about your friend.
Following thorough tests that included a CAT scan, PET scan and a biopsy, the cancer is confined to the original site and the adjacent lymph nodes on the right side of my neck.
I had cancer last year, clear now. They have no way to tell if it's spread until they perform surgery to remove and examine the lymph nodes. Jamie could be a dead man walking.
My friend was clear for 11 or 12 years before it came back. Let's hope you are luckier.
Very close family member had it years ago as well. He was clear of any cancer after the chemo/radiation for 15 years.
Then diagnosed with stomach cancer and died 3 weeks later.
The C is a cruel disease.
Fuck him, fuck his throat, fuck his soul, fuck his family. Fuck whoever the fuck calls him friend.
you sound like 2Pac in the song Hit'em up :)
FUK YES!! THERE IS A GOD!!!! GO JAMIE, GO!!! and take that phucking LOYD JIZZSTEIN with you!!
That's what my neighbor had... I thought he wsa improving because I saw him out smoking more often. One day, his sons came over and told me he would not last the weekend. He refused all treatment, it had spread to his brain...
John Wayne refused treatment for lung cancer. Had the first one removed, drank like a fish until the other one went.
Well, he drank like a fish a lot of the time anyway, but that's another story.
Long live the Duke!
Fuck the Duke!
He was a faux cowboy, a faux soldier, a faux this and a faux that.
Shove your tinseltown fairy tales up your deluded ass!
He might get his throat cancer under control, but his lungs are full of enriched uranium and plutonium - as are all the rest of ours, from the ongoing Fukushima - and now WIPP - fallout:
"Some 39 months after the multiple explosions at Fukushima, thyroid cancer rates among nearby children have skyrocketed to more than forty times (40x) normal.
More than 48 percent of some 375,000 young people—nearly 200,000 kids—tested by the Fukushima Medical University near the smoldering reactors now suffer from pre-cancerous thyroid abnormalities, primarily nodules and cysts. The rate is accelerating.
More than 120 childhood cancers have been indicated where just three would be expected, says Joseph Mangano, executive director of the Radiation and Public Health Project.
The nuclear industry and its apologists continue to deny this public health tragedy. Some have actually asserted that “not one person” has been affected by Fukushima’s massive radiation releases, which for some isotopes exceed Hiroshima by a factor of nearly 30."
http://ecowatch.com/2014/06/14/fukushima-children-dying/
We're just getting warmed up. Hug your kids, the smaller ones will go first.
And if you think you or your family will get cancer care in a few years, if you're not in the .001%, good luck.
And not to mention all the cancers now showing up in the ME due to all the DU used over there...
Sad...
karma. i've had numerous friends, family die of cancer, too many forms to list. one family member battled stage 4 for 15 & a half years. i've watched myraid battles. some noble few accepted and left with grace, some valiant wounded fought and won, only to be yet again tossed to the fates, and time after time struggled up to fight yet again. i've witnessed magnificent heroic wars. i've heard the death talk doctors give more times than i can recall, and while i don't rejoice in jamie's diagnosis, i truly hope in his battle, and a battle it will be, that he arrives at a vista where he may begin to glimpse the damage he's caused. some of us die in ignorance, while others die soaking in self pity, some few die in love. how any one of us will behave or what we may learn or if we shall manage to depart within a state of grace we may never know until we come F2F with that singular moment..and if he allows it i suspect his will be a reckoning of shattering magnitude. i hope for the cleansing of the planet! i do not seek retribution. death and his higher self will no doubt render him to his own magnificent fukushima.
I don't normally wish bad things upon people......but, die already.
With the pain this fucker has caused around the globe, I hope he strangles on that fucking tumor.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
I can only add that I wish it was pancreatic and not esophogeal.
THEN..... we might have an actual shot at the Earth being rid of this parasitic bastard.
As Cheney's heart attacked him, Dimons throat turned on him, poetic justice, simple.
I found myself rooting for that cancer.. Is that bad of me?
Sucking dick with shit on it, could be the cause.
No isn't it from licking nasty twat as Michael Douglas said?
yellen's?
It's from licking Bernanke. He is, after all, a giant stinking infested bearded clam.
You ain't seen nothin' till you're down on a muffin, then you're sure to be a-changin' your ways.
I met a market cheerleader, was a real CNBC'r
All the times I can reminisce
Ah the best thing lovin'
With her sister and her cousin
Started with a Kramer kiss, like this
I know - everybody knows... where it comes and where it goes...
i know it's everybody's sin ...you got to lose to know how to win
sing it with me , if it's just for today, maybe tomorrow the good lord will take you away
"Started with a Kramer kiss, like this"
Walk this way, walk this way!
too much verbal diarrhea
c-diff ,vre, candida,mrsa, all await oh mighty prince of finance, sleep well tonight the minimum wage cleaning staff at your hospital are, well ,less than motivated like your well oiled bank.
Bet the cost of treatment is .05% of his income, whereas regular people would go bankrupt (if they even got good treatment).
"Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy."
*cough*
Karma?
The avg American now is pretty much screwed if they get a serious illness. At least Dimon has a chance. The rest of us would have no chance thanks to ObamaCare.,
He could probably pay for his entire treatment by selling one of his presidential cuff links. What a fucker.
die you arrogant fuck, and your kids are little ugly fucks too, thanks for making them to prey off the other 99% like you have done...now go and die
This is the funny part. His income doesn't matter. Look how infinite resources Steve jobs ended. Throat cancer has a poor outcome if spread and not detected early. Even if he does survive it his health may never be the same. Radiation often causes cardiac problems later.
I'm glad he wasn't hit by a bus and have an easy exit. This may be long and protracted Living Hell and I feel no pity for such an evil asshole. I'm sorry, but I have seen cancer strike wonderful people and devastate them and their families. It's nice to see him experience something he can't buy his way out of.
Miffed;-)
Yep, hope he dies a long, slow, painful death. He deserves no less!
Here is the nice part of it, the JAWS gets to have all his teeth pulled. Usually due to the radiation given their teeth drop out so they usually yank them out preemptively. He will be a dentured smile from now on till the rest of the cancer drags him down 6 feet under.
Hopefully they will pull them without anesthesia.
Did not know that about the teeth. Thanks
Pushin up daisies with a toothless grin. LOL ;-)
And I can assure you that in his case, the cancer meds will not be on the short list, as they are for so many these days. Thank you, FDA. This was the start:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/theapothecary/2012/06/15/how-margaret-hambur...
Now, the shortages include everything up to and including IV saline. Yes, that's right--a sterile NaCl saline drip bag. You are better off heading to Europe or the Far East, but that's been the case for years, if you are not an elite by birth.
http://www.rd.com/health/healthcare/drug-shortages/?v=print
I'm sure others will not be so kind but I wish death from cancer on no man
I wish it upon subhumans.
I understand your altruistic sentiments. I, personally, don't wish cancer upon anyone either. However, I do wish JUSTICE upon all of us - and if cancer is this guy's just deserts, then so be it.
I will add that I didn't shed a tear when Ted Kennedy got brain cancer either.
Scuba Ted? I haven't given that piece of a shit a single thought since he croaked.
I hope the guillotine can cut through the tumor.
He is not a man, he is a beast; having chosen the way of the beasts.
To rephrase a line from The Who: "Meet the new boss, same as or worse than the old boss."
Jamie Dimon you piece of crap, it's what happens when you suck on too many bankers when you were younger.
Hell yeah I wish it on him. That and more. I wish him the most excruciating painful death that it is possible to have. In fact I would like to be at his hospital bed torturing him while he dies. I don't want this SOB to have one moment's peace until he dies and goes to the hell he so completely deserves. GOD IS PUNISHING YOU, YOU BASTARD!
You know it is interesting you say that. If you are poor, you cannot afford treatment so it progresses fast and the end is relatively quick. It is soul crushing, may be painful, but still, it is quick. If you are rich on the other hand you can afford treatment, which is pretty horrible and not really effective in the long term, many times requiring chemotherapy or surgical procedures (that's when they cut you up piece by piece), and you know that you are fighting a losing battle which gets worse day buy day. So in a way Jamie with cancer is a way of divine justice.
You are so correct.
One of my clients,very rich Boston banker,has been going thru' purgatory
for years now,fighting recurrent new areas of cancer.
He donated the cancer wing of his hospital up there, and the hospital
is milking him for every dollar over his prolonged death rattle.
His Cancer is Richer than yours.
Let them eat chemo.
Well, that'll keep him out of oral testimony and depositions for a while. Just sayin'.
Yeah, do we even really know if this news is actually true? I wouldn't put it past Jamie to fabricate this whole thing as a personal escape pod.
People like him do not spend their lives hiding on a farm. There is no where for him to run to, that the people cannot find him.
He can always write or type it. If the next letter about his medical condition includes problems with tennis elbow then you know what is up.
He got it from sucking unclean government co<k.
Hope you DIE Fuck-Wad! Take a Nail Gun and Expidite your departure mother-fucker!!!
Unfortunately "that's why I'm richer than you" doesn't work at the Pearly Gates, but I still hope he suffers alot before his eternal hell-fire of excruciating agony... at least his kids will live well for a brief time before they face their own judgement... just kidding who am i to judge anyone, they do seem like assholes though
Can't all these Wall St banks just get a massive heart attack and die? Tonight preferrably.
no that would be bad for XLF, might even cause the Spooz to open lower, can't have that...
My guillotine is concerned.
Don't worry, the blade does not get stuck in the tumor.
+1 and I wish it could be +1000.
Yeah, cancer is a bummer. I'm not exactly wishing this prick a speedy recovery though. Whatever happens, happens.
I would perfer he suffer by his throat at the end of a rope, but this may do.
my thoughts exactly
This is worse.
The hangman is being cheated.
No the people will just dig him up and hang the corpse. Place it in a cage on Wall street for all traders to see.
That will be difficult, as the cemetery will most likely be in Israel.
Not saying I wish anything on anyone . . . .However, this guy and others in his line of work are parasites that cause lots of misery for lots of people.
Hard to have sympathy for him. He could/could have chosen other things to do with his life.
DEATH TO THE MONEYCHANGERS.
Nail guns, guillotines and tall buildings.
It's what happens when your mouth is full of shit.
poor POOR Jimmy Demon. The thief of WaMu has throat cancer. Too much manchowder Jimmy? Somewhere, that despicable lying fucking smelly FrauDIC CUNT sheila cunt bair is crushed. Its just so sad. Truly.
Hey Jamie, why do you have more cancer than me?!
Stage
5-year relative survival rate
I
59%
II
59%
III
53%
IV
Glottis (part of the larynx including the vocal cords)34%
Stage
5-year relative survival rate
I
90%
II
74%
III
56%
IV
44%
Subglottis (part of the larynx below the vocal cords)
(These numbers are less accurate because of the small number of patients.)
Stage
5-year relative survival rate
I
65%
II
56%
III
47%
IV
Hypopharynx32%
Stage
5-year relative survival rate
I
53%
II
39%
III
36%
IV
24%
Hope he's not a betting man. Those are very very bad numbers.
If it's in the lymph nodes, he's at least stage 2.
"God's work"
Finally. Took Him long enough.
Is he a smoker?
I was wishing that he get rectal cancer, but this will do.
Fuck the pussies here who, in their self-righteousness, say that they don't wish it on him.
I for one, wouldn't shed a tear if it goes metastatic and kills him. Fuck the bastard.
And that's what makes me a man, and what makes you pussies. Because I recognize that all 7 billion of us walking talking contradictions have to die of something, and it might as well be these asshole bankers. But you want to be "nice" and humane and all that shit because you yourself imagine that you will live forever, and that is what makes you their slave.