Wondering "Why You’re Still Poor As Dow Flirts With 17,000" - Marketwatch Explains

Tyler Durden's picture

It really doesn't get any more ridiculous than Marketwatch's question du jour. As for the right answer, is it:

i) because you haven't taken out a fourth mortgage on your house and bought GoPro with the proceeds

ii) because you forgot that in a market as rigged and manipulated as this one, only BTFD and BTFATH matters

iii) because hard as you try, you still can't pay your monthly rent in "confidence" terms

iv) because after losing it all on Madoff, you are wary of Ponzi schemes

v) because your name isn't Jamie Dimon

vi) all of the above



Lest someone is confused about the context, Marketwatch also helpfully explains:


Congratulations Fed: you can add "financial journalism" to "market" and all the other items you have made a mockery of.

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JLee2027's picture

18,000 Next. Yawn

Mr Pink's picture

Cuz I bought silver....

maskone909's picture

Meee tooo bro... Me too

SoberOne's picture

Belgium paid several hundred billion to ensure they win today. Ijs.

markmotive's picture

The middle class was great while it lasted. Built by surpluses generated from productivity gains via industrial revolution and oil.

Today no more.

Peter Schiff: The American Middle Class is Vanishing


SafelyGraze's picture


all the smart money has moved into raams

use them in the netherlands for things you might want to purchase in the netherlands

meditate on *that*

Supernova Born's picture

I feel poor because beef prices are through the roof and quality is down the toilet.

Where's the beef is my beef.

Those banksters can't print food and food price inflation will be the endgame of this racket.

7.62x54r's picture

Why am I poor?

Minimum wage in 1964 was $1.25/hr. Five silver quarters. A little over $18 in value today. In 1964 those five silver quarters bought the same amount of goods that 18 pieces of green federal reserve toilet paper buy today.

That might have something to do with why we are poor.

Cattender's picture

why the Fuck did they remove the Silver from our coins anyway? as CHEAP as it is! LOL!!!!!

SoberOne's picture

Breaking news: silver cures throat cancer.

7.62x54r's picture

Errrmmm, because if they had left the silver in the coins people might have noticed that the 2014 hourly minimum wage was one silver quarter and two copper pennies.

$0.27/hour, Bitchez!

7.62x54r's picture

Oh, hey ... they did that wood pulp in food thing during the siege of Leningrad ...

Long on wood pulp and linseed oil bread!

Handful of Dust's picture

"Blessed are the poor, for they shall inherit the earth."


Well, at least we get something. Some free KY Lube would be nice too.

7.62x54r's picture

We'll inherit the earth alright ... in six by three foot plots.

OffShorewHore's picture


Pooper Popper's picture

Fuck that,Im not eating wood pulp!!!!


Ill eat banksters...

7.62x54r's picture

One metric ton of dead banksters can also be converted, via heat depolymerization, into 80 gallons of Soylent Diesel.

toady's picture

I went to the grocery store today because there's a two-for-one sale on ribeyes. I didn't know it was $16 a pound. $16 fortwo steaks

I passed on the deal.

Boondocker's picture

Find your local 4H and buy the beef they raise....win/win

Supernova Born's picture

An educated middle class is enemy #1 to TPTB.

Serial exploitation is the American way. H1B visas are the new indentured servitude.

LawsofPhysics's picture

Personally, none of the assets that make me wealthy are priced in this "market".

Whoa Dammit's picture

A truck driver, with Anonymous mask displayed on the passenger seat, verbally trounces a state trooper after being pulled over for 'Unlawful use of horn" for honking at the trooper. 


Squid Viscous's picture

carly simon made me puke, disgusting untalented cunt

"anticipation... is making me late..."

lol seriously, who downvoted this? wtf? heeb from riverdale that got all the breaks she needed, apparently...

Soul Glow's picture

Don't bitch about buying silver.  If you didn't know what you were getting into you didn't know this was Fight Club.  So if you are wondering why your face is beat up and there's blood all over the floor, yeah, this was bound to happen.

If you are still standing I say throw one more punch and buy more.


Jack D. Ripper's picture
#1 Reason "Why You’re Still Poor As Dow Flirts With 17,000"

Because you read Zerohedge!

ilion's picture

As Armada Markets CFO Illimar Mattus put it yesterday, the SP500 will hit 2000 soon, they will have a massive blow-out up to 2036 to terminate the last remaining two or three shorts and then the real pain will kick in for anybody (which means everybody) who is long this market. God save us all when the shit finally hits the fan.

lasvegaspersona's picture

The feds have figured a way to  keep the numbers up and inflation numbers low. As long as it works I think we will see S&P 8000. I suspect it will be gradual as they want to keep it going a while. Who knows what is really happening? All I know it THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!

CheapBastard's picture

If this “recovery” gets any stronger, I’ll be Broke!

Mr Pink's picture

I buy more silver EVERY day but that doesn't mean I'm not still a lot poorer than someone who bought stawks

Just sayin....

TheReplacement's picture

Are you now?  The person who bought stocks has what, a hope to sell at some future date for much more than they paid.  They have nothing until they sell.

You have silver.  Even if you can't sell it, you have it.

Queue goatboy.

Atomizer's picture

Good job.  Many of us got in at 15. Bitchslap the paper cunt.. 

Jungle Jim's picture

Me three, bro.  Bought it all ( a LOT of it) between $32 and $42. Forced -- *forced*, mind you -- to sell it all at $20, or below. Oh, I'm sure it's going to go to the moon, someday. Like in the the year Twenty-Five Ten. But I don't have any silver anymore. So when that great and glorious new day that never came finally does come, it's not going to help me at all.

Ness.'s picture

Rule #1.  Don't trade silver.

Rule #2.  Buy silver as an investment with disposable/saved income.

Rule #3.  See rule #1.



Boondocker's picture

An ounce of silver is 4 crappy starbucks drinks.....an ounce a week is easy

RafterManFMJ's picture

I raise my flags, don my clothes

It's a revolution, I suppose

We'll paint it red to fit right in


I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus

This is it, the apocalypse

I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones

Enough to make my systems blow

Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age

Sudden Debt's picture

Soccer starts in 45 minutes...

Squid Viscous's picture

can't wait to watch little sissy guys roll around in agony after minor contact! maybe there will even be a goal scored ?

Skateboarder's picture

A good number of them look/are metrosexual. Our world heroes are overpaid metrosexuals lol.

uno's picture

what about all the pride and joy of screaming USA USA USA 

Skateboarder's picture

Don't wory, the bros will do that after the stormtroopers force everyone out of their homes at gunpoint.

john39's picture

red white and blue face paint required.

uno's picture

more disturbing, metrosexuals wearing red-white-blue speedo's. the horror

mkhs's picture

Your world heroes are...

Squid Viscous's picture

my heroes are ... central bankers and anyone who fought for our free-dumb in Eye-rack and Absurdistan!

hedgeless_horseman's picture



Your world heroes are...

Good question!

Living?  Off the top of my head...

  • Ron Paul
  • Tyler Durden
  • James Watson
  • Carla Emery (edit: discovered she died)
  • Stephen King
  • Andrew Lloyd Webber
  • Michael Phelps
  • G. Marvin Beeman, DVM, MFH
  • Rae Heim
  • Edward Snowden
  • John Schnatter
  • Dana White
  • Tony Hawk
  • Quentin Tarantino
  • Roger Briggs (climber/trail runner)
mkhs's picture

Wrong.  No question mark, so it can't be a question.  The correct answer is "What is a correction to the collectivist theme generated by Skateboarder?"

The more interesting question is why would you want to interpret that as a question? Hmmmmm.

MopWater's picture

Traded mine for ghosts