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How Fast Food Providers Beat Inflation - Add Wood Pulp To Burgers

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Submitted by Michael Krieger of Liberty Blitzkrieg blog,

On Monday, Quartz published an article by Devin Cohen titled, There is a Secret Ingredient in Your Burgers: Wood Pulp. Given the headline and people’s already present suspicion regarding all of the shady and potentially dangerous ingredients hidden in food items, the article gained a lot of traction. In subsequent days, most journalists and bloggers have focused on the dangers of this additive (unclear) and whether or not it is pervasive throughout the food chain as opposed to just fast food (it appears to be).

The one angle that has not been explored as much is the overall trend. Let’s go ahead and assume that wood pulp is a safe thing to consume, it certainly seems to have no nutritional value whatsoever. So why are companies inserting it into food items? To mask inflation and earn more profits most likely. This was a major theme I focused on last year in a series of pieces on stealth inflation and food fraud, a couple of which can be read below:

New Study Shows 59% of “Tuna” Sold in the U.S. Isn’t Tuna

New Study Shows: Food Fraud Soared 60% Last Year

The Quartz article notes that:

There may be more fiber in your food than you realized. Burger King, McDonald’s and other fast food companies list in the ingredients of several of their foods, microcrystalline cellulose (MCC) or “powdered cellulose” as components of their menu items. Or, in plain English, wood pulp.

 

The emulsion-stabilizing, cling-improving, anti-caking substance operates under multiple aliases, ranging from powdered cellulose to cellulose powder to methylcellulose to cellulose gum. The entrance of this non-absorbable fiber into fast food ingredients has been stealthy, yet widespread: The compound can now be found in buns, cheeses, sauces, cakes, shakes, rolls, fries, onion rings, smoothies, meats—basically everything.

 

The cost effectiveness of this filler has pushed many chains to use progressively less chicken in their “chicken” and cream in their “ice cream.”

This is the part that really interests me. When did these companies first introduce this substance into their products and what is the growth trend? My guess is that as food costs have risen, the proportion of non-nutritonal fillers has increased substantially. That said, I’d like to see some data and I haven’t yet.

My big takeaway here is the same as last year’s when I first started writing about the trend. As the cost of food continues to rise, the cost of not paying attention to what you are eating rises exponentially. Companies will continue to try to mask inflation by shrinking package sizes, and when that is no longer possible, increasingly inserting empty fillers (or worse) into their products.

Meanwhile, the following video is a telling spoof on the ingredients in McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets.

On a related note, if you haven’t read my recent post on BPA, definitely take the time: National Geographic Reports – Chemicals Causing Infertility in Pigs are Present Throughout Human Consumer Goods.

Bon Appétit.

 

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Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:44 | 4922089 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

By putting more people on EBT.

Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:49 | 4922117 john39
john39's picture

don't sweat it. when you inevitably get seriously chronically ill from eating this poison, Obamacare (TM) will be there to save you.

Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:58 | 4922160 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

And you fucks probably laughed at the Norks for eating grass, bark and shoes as they starved.

Here, in exceptional Amurika we have our tree bark prepared for us. USA USA USA!

Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:07 | 4922173 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Could be a feature, not a bug…

Marketing.. “ You are what you eat.. Eat our Pulpburgers to be strong as the mighty oak tree” or “only the finest redwood used in out  Bunyan Burger”.

Speaking of bugs.. "insect parts" though usually not specified, is an ingredient of most of that stuff.

Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:07 | 4922198 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

Didn't the Wookie once tell us all to 'Eat your trees'?

Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:16 | 4922208 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Damn... this shit is even in my Wendy's Frosty. That's just doesn't seem right.

http://www.infiniteunknown.net/2011/07/09/meet-the-15-food-companies-tha...

McDonald’s uses cellulose in the following products:

  • Fish Filet Patty
  • McRib
  • Premium Caesar Salad
  • Chipotle BBQ Snack Wrap
  • Premium Southwest Salad with Grilled Chicken
  • Southern Style Chicken Biscuit
  • Strawberry Sundae
  • Natural Swiss Cheese (used in McRib, Quarter Pounder with Cheese, Angus Mushroom & Swiss, Premium Grilled Chicken Club Sandwich, Premium Crispy Chicken Club Sandwich, Angus Mushroom & Swiss Snack Wrap)
  • Shredded Cheddar/Jack Cheese (used in Ranch Snack Wrap (Crispy and Grilled), Honey Mustard Snack Wrap (Crispy and Grilled), Chipotle BBQ Snack Wrap (Crispy and Grilled), Premium Southwest Salad with Grilled Chicken, Premium Southwest Salad with/without Crispy/Grilled Chicken, Premium Bacon Ranch Salad with/without Crispy/Grilled Chicken, McSkillet Burrito with Sausage)
  • Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:19 | 4922237 BLOTTO
    BLOTTO's picture

    Wood chips?...pink slime?...wtf?

    .

    One cant even EAT without 'them' trying to fucking make you sick - and 'sick' not just physically...but mentally as well.

    And when you see the innocent that just try to enjoy -in moderation- some burger and fries in peace...it makes you want to cry.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:41 | 4922323 msmith9962
    msmith9962's picture

    But the trees are organic free range.  Thats good, right?

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:54 | 4922345 krispkritter
    krispkritter's picture

    If anyone needs me I'll be out in my woods cutting down some burgers for dinner...

    "Flame-broiled Whoppers: Now with real charcoal cooked right in!"

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:33 | 4922491 Headbanger
    Headbanger's picture

    Soylent Green... is made out of people..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IKVj4l5GU4

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 16:20 | 4922648 NoDebt
    NoDebt's picture

    Just like in the Great Depression (the first one).  Grandparents told me stories about people putting sawdust in their bread because they just didn't have enough flour.  

    And here we are again.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 16:48 | 4922738 max2205
    max2205's picture

    Who ever thought N Korea would be a trendsetter? 

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 17:21 | 4922846 Canuckistan Al
    Canuckistan Al's picture

    Meh, how about "Meat Glue"?

    www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=hXXrB3rz-xU&vq=large

    Yummy

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 17:22 | 4922847 Canuckistan Al
    Canuckistan Al's picture

    Meh, how about "Meat Glue"?

    www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=hXXrB3rz-xU&vq=large

    Yummy

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:19 | 4922242 Silky Johnson
    Silky Johnson's picture

    Sleazy business men looking to maximize profits, they would sell us radioactive waste if the could make more money doing it.

    The real sick ones though are those motherfuckers at the FDA that are supposed to be policing them. They rubber stamp the shit so long as the govs skim of the loot is on time.

    No punishment will be too heavy for those sick fucks.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:24 | 4922260 ZerOhead
    ZerOhead's picture

    "Perhaps most important to food processors is that cellulose is cheaper, he added, because “the fiber and water combination is less expensive than most other ingredients in the [food] product.”

    Indeed, food producers save as much as 30% in ingredient costs by opting for cellulose as a filler or binder in processed foods, according to a source close to the processed food industry who spoke with TheStreet on the condition of anonymity."

     

    When they discover that dirt is even cheaper than wood pulp you can bet your burger is going to taste like... well... dirt.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:35 | 4922302 petolo
    petolo's picture

    dirt....? It was just ground this morning.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:47 | 4922334 BLOTTO
    BLOTTO's picture

    Why does my burger taste like California Chrome?

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:34 | 4922499 Bastiat
    Bastiat's picture

    You wish!

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 16:42 | 4922722 max2205
    max2205's picture

    I don't always eat wood, but when I do, I prefer moahagany

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:39 | 4922316 CheapBastard
    CheapBastard's picture

    Service at McDs has plunged to an all time low in my area. Hard to tell who is worse; the 'diverse' kids with chips on their shoulders, or, the non-english speaking crowd, or, the white teen who does not know how to count. I actually look forward to one of the 'grey hairs' b/c they are usually polite, know how to count and get the order correct.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:00 | 4922368 cossack55
    cossack55's picture

    Just for shitsandgiggles, try paying using Eisenhower dollars (about $1.15 at coin stores). The response I normally get is "We don't accept foreign money". 

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:05 | 4922386 CheapBastard
    CheapBastard's picture

    he he he. I have done similar when I feel a mean streak in me and hand the kid $1.08 for a 96 cent order.

     

    The bewildered look on his face....Precious!

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 17:10 | 4922799 americanspirit
    americanspirit's picture

    And then it's just a tiny step to using "fecal extract from free range chickens". Why not? Anyone who has ever seen chickens feed know that they think turds are YUMMY. So just dress the little darlin's up with a tiny basker underneath their tail and catch all that valuable burger condiment before it gets mixed in with DIRT.

    Oh, wait. Seems we have a twofer here folks. Dirt flavored shit. Yum.

    Heck, it doesn't really matter. 90% of the chicken sold in supermarkets has fecal contamination. So why not standardize the fecal/dirt content so that we'll actually KNOW how many McNuggets you can eat before crossing the River Styx.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:56 | 4922357 msmith9962
    msmith9962's picture

    Also an excellent source of violent diareah!  It's all how you spin it. 

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:01 | 4922370 NotApplicable
    NotApplicable's picture

    As always, I would point a little further up the "food-chain" to the sleazy businessmen known as "Central Bankers."

    Once you realize that it is IMPOSSIBLE for honest businesses to succeed in a competitive environment undermined by endless fiat, what other option is left other than shutting down entirely?

    If they do try to survive without cutting corners, they only end up consuming all of their capital as they try to stay afloat, until such time as reality shuts them down as well.

    Welcome to the criminal enclave known as Bizarro World. Please check your sanity at the door.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 16:23 | 4922657 SofaPapa
    SofaPapa's picture

    Has anyone else noticed the surge in articles such as the following?  TPTB are desperate, and based on the article we are commenting on here, the general population is actually dumbed-down enough to go for it.  This is SO depressing!!!

     

    http://www.the-scientist.com/?articles.view/articleNo/34172/title/Why-In...

     

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-22508439

     

    http://www.npr.org/blogs/13.7/2014/04/03/297853835/the-joys-and-ethics-o...

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:48 | 4922336 fallout11
    fallout11's picture

    "Its good for the environment, and okay for you!" - Actual food advertisement from 2012's "Judge Dredd" film.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 18:56 | 4923132 jez
    jez's picture

    Speaking of bugs.. "insect parts" though usually not specified, is an ingredient of most of that stuff.

    ===========================================

    Damn. And here I was, thinking that a delicious woodpulp burger was suitable for a vegetarian.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:03 | 4922181 Herd Redirectio...
    Herd Redirection Committee's picture

    Cellulose.  Yum.  What do you think is in a Taco Bell taco?

    The two hidden faces of inflation, reduced product size and reduced product quality.  On top of which we have to deal with planned obsolensence, put it all together and I imagine the consumer crap we are getting these days is about on par with what 1st world consumers from 1870 would have experienced.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:06 | 4922193 Skateboarder
    Skateboarder's picture

    Once upon a time, this species prized quality. Too bad we '(d)evolved' past caring.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:34 | 4922297 rum_runner
    rum_runner's picture

    meh.. it taste good.  Me eat.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:26 | 4922463 goneYonder
    goneYonder's picture

    By all means enjoy....your illness. Cancer's a helluva way to learn about cause and effect. Don't touch the stove! Ouch!

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 16:11 | 4922623 MayIMommaDogFac...
    MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

    It is exactly like a drug dealer sifting baby laxative into his blow.  It is sick and it's dishonest whether everyone ought to know or not.

    I ain't gonna eat that.  (I used to eat of lot it at one point)

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 19:20 | 4923193 NuckingFuts
    NuckingFuts's picture

    Who know what they sift into that shit, it's still one hell of a drug

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 19:22 | 4923198 RafterManFMJ
    RafterManFMJ's picture

    Don't rag on Taco Bell; it's fascinating how they keep coming up with new products using their constant base of only 8 ingredients.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:22 | 4922253 zuuma
    zuuma's picture

    you definitely want to click on the "Tuna" link above.

    Key takeaway:

    "prolonged, uncontrollable, oily anal leakage” --> the disturbing outcome from consuming a (fake) tuna sandwich

     

    I searched my feelings and decided that I didn't want to experience that condition.

    I might offer my boss a sandwich, though.

     

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:04 | 4922384 NotApplicable
    NotApplicable's picture

    Thanks to BP's "Core Exit" and Fukushima's "Endless Cesium," I quit eating it all anyway. Right now we only use it so supplement our dry cat & dog food.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 19:22 | 4923199 RafterManFMJ
    RafterManFMJ's picture

    Nice Killer Clown From Outer Space avatar.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:26 | 4922472 TheReplacement
    TheReplacement's picture

    Why would anyone laugh at NORKs starving?  Screw anyone who did or does laugh.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 16:04 | 4922599 kchrisc
    kchrisc's picture

    "(TM)?"

    Is that a Trademark or Tyrannymark?!

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:59 | 4922165 DaveyJones
    DaveyJones's picture

    thermite

    now termites

    what the fuck is next?

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:04 | 4922183 Manthong
    Manthong's picture

    anthracite.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:59 | 4922166 Ozy_mandias
    Ozy_mandias's picture

    Next will be the additive Soylent Green (SYG)

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:24 | 4922263 S73
    S73's picture

    Now you know why they are trying to all the illegals over the border.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:11 | 4922406 laomei
    laomei's picture

    The real riots will start when people find out that their Soylent Green is only 5% people and 95% filler.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:57 | 4922571 Jumbotron
    Jumbotron's picture

    Methyl cellulose:

    Methyl cellulose does not occur naturally and is synthetically produced by heating cellulose with caustic solution (e.g. a solution of sodium hydroxide) and treating it with methyl chloride. In the substitution reaction that follows, the hydroxyl residues (-OH functional groups) are replaced by methoxide (-OCH3 groups).

    Different kinds of methyl cellulose can be prepared depending on the number of hydroxyl groups substituted. Cellulose is a polymer consisting of numerous linked glucose molecules, each of which exposes three hydroxyl groups.

     

    Jesus, Joseph and Mary.....these fucker really ARE poisoning us.  Wood pulp that is bleached to form a thickerner which is made up of GLUCOSE molecules after the bleaching process.

    God help us !

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 16:34 | 4922702 Jumbotron
    Jumbotron's picture

    And.....looking back on this statement.....what exactly IS Methyl Chloride....which is listed as the other ingrediant along with sodium hydroxide ( which is found in Drano).......

    Methyl Chloride:

    Chloromethane, also called methyl chloride, R-40 or HCC 40, is a chemical compound of the group of organic compounds called haloalkanes. It was once widely used as a refrigerant. It is a colorless extremely flammable gas with a mildly sweet odor, which is, however, detected at possibly toxic levels.

     

    So....bleach and refrigerant is mixed with wood pulp and then THAT is put into our food.

    And Obamacare is going to make that ALL better.     Rightttttttt........

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 17:40 | 4922924 Cruel Aid
    Cruel Aid's picture

    i dont blame the food co's. Who is causing bottom line pressure and what agency gives them a pass? 

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 18:16 | 4923036 Jumbotron
    Jumbotron's picture

    Are you FUCKING kidding me ?

    Right is right and wrong is wrong !!!!!     These fucks KNOW this shit is poison and they STILL do it.  You can ALWAYS CHOOSE to shut your business down and REFUSE to sell this shit to the public, no matter what government agency allows you to do it or if the FDA says its "reasonably" safe.

    Fucking do the right thing....even if that costs you your livelihood or life.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 19:01 | 4923139 Cruel Aid
    Cruel Aid's picture

    Ever run a restaurant. Profit is hard to come by and regulators are up your ass at every step of the way!

    No I wouldn't do it, thats not the point. They are in a war for their lives.

    And no I dont eat fast food. Thats my solution.

    I don't blame them though.

    Edit: maybe they can charge what you will pay when they mechanize the production.

    I would prefer that anyway

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 19:44 | 4923256 Cruel Aid
    Cruel Aid's picture

    A food story: I got a burger at applebees 10-12 years ago. Took a bite and thought this tastes funny. Wife took a bite and wife agreed. Grabbed the menu and sure enough it said 100% meat. I gathered that it was bullshit animal by product.

    At that point I assumed that restaurant food from that level down was doing the same thing and they are or worse. I also assumed that the fda was worthless which they are.

    Moral: if you eat at crappy restaurants you are a lazy idiot as you can know what you are eating if you make it yourself. Eat right and exercise and you might not have as much of an issue with obama and his healthcare destruction.

    LOL I can't believe the outrage at what is in friggin Whoppers. Jesus open your eyes people. You didn't know this red arrows.

     

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:44 | 4922093 o.t.p.s
    o.t.p.s's picture

    Ah you are what you eat

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:54 | 4922142 OceanX
    OceanX's picture

    Got wood?

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:02 | 4922170 PacOps
    PacOps's picture

    Wasn't there something, a few decades ago, about wood pulp being mixed in and fed to livestock? So now we can eliminate the "middleman"?

     

    Here it is ... 1979!

     

    http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=2209&dat=19790117&id=B6MrAAAAIBAJ&...

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:05 | 4922190 OceanX
    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:11 | 4922211 HamFistedIdiot
    HamFistedIdiot's picture

    Cattle got cement fed to them, too. Still do.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:18 | 4922240 valley chick
    valley chick's picture

    +100 You got a good memory!  :-) 

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:17 | 4922435 PacOps
    PacOps's picture

    Thanks - 72 in a few more days.

    Now, here's a community that has avoided GMO like the plague since Monsanto first came out with it.

    #2 Coolest Small City in the U.S.: http://www.buzzfeed.com/fuze/coolest-small-cities-its-time-to-roadtrip-to

    But from the dark side, enters Heartland Co-op ... http://www.ahead-iowa.org/grain-dust-pollution-how-bad-does-it-get/

    Grain Dust Pollution – How Bad Can It Get? A. GMO Grain Dust: 28.7 ton per year across Fairfield (estimate) Dr. Robert Brook? of the University of Michigan, one of the most prominent air pollution scholars and researchers in the country, spoke recently in Dalby Hall in M.U.M.'s Argiro Center, and said that the potential pollution from this grain elevator complex in Fairfield should be taken very seriously. GMO dust could potentially be entering our blood streams, in very finely grained sizes that one may not even notice - accumulating over the years? Despite rigorous continuing efforts to not eat gmo food, would we all be forced to breathe the equivalent (or more?) if this facility is built?

     

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:35 | 4922503 NotApplicable
    NotApplicable's picture

    As both Darwin & Uncle Chesty always said,

    "Yours is not to wonder why, yours is but to do or die."

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 16:17 | 4922640 MayIMommaDogFac...
    MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

    Nice memory -- nice find!  Very interesting perspective.

    Now try to imagine convincing folks in 1979 that this would be occurring 35 years later -- at McDonalds -- in the US.

    They all would have found that notion to be completely bat-shit insane.  (same as many things we have been witnessing!)

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:44 | 4922329 overexposed
    overexposed's picture

    Perhaps all of this is a mind-control exercise?  From your article: "Kelley said wood cellulose -- for reasons not totally understood -- produces a 'tranquilizing, therapeutic effect' on cattle."

    </tinfoil-hat>

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:54 | 4922351 New World Chaos
    New World Chaos's picture

    Remember Less Bread? It was semi popular about 25 years ago. Advertised as a diet food. Its popularity took a big hit after one of its main ingredients (fiber) turned out to be sawdust.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:04 | 4922383 samsara
    samsara's picture

    They only quit because when it was toasted,  It smelled like burning wood.

    True Story.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:06 | 4922389 NotApplicable
    NotApplicable's picture

    They should've advertised it as "hickory smoked" and raised the price.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 18:24 | 4923058 Jumbotron
    Jumbotron's picture

    HOLY CRAP.....did you read the part where....

    "Kelley said wood cellulose --for reasons not totally understood--produces a "tranquelizing, therapeutic effect" on cattle, produces a superb quality of beef."

    OMG...they really ARE fattening us up to be made into Soylen Green !!

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 19:29 | 4923218 RafterManFMJ
    RafterManFMJ's picture

    LOL

    Don't forget the Flouride in th water...

    ...and the FaceFuck experiments on manipating people's emotions...

    ...and the awesomely easy access to SSRI drugs...

    Yep. But none dare call it conspiracy. Say, I wonder if my sports team is winning the big game? I'd better go check.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:07 | 4922201 mt paul
    mt paul's picture

    every morning 

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:33 | 4922295 MsCreant
    MsCreant's picture

    But do you grind it into your burger?

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:12 | 4922401 NotApplicable
    NotApplicable's picture

    Comment of the Day!

    Now excuse me while I go beat my meat (into a pulp).

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 18:34 | 4923086 Jumbotron
    Jumbotron's picture

    Don't forget to slather up your wood with lye and refrigerant.

    Methyl cellulose does not occur naturally and is synthetically produced by heating cellulose with caustic solution (e.g. a solution of sodium hydroxide)   (Sodium hydroxide, also known as caustic soda,[3][4] or lye)     and treating it with methyl chloride.

    Chloromethane, also called methyl chloride, R-40 or HCC 40, is a chemical compound of the group of organic compounds called haloalkanes. It was once widely used as a refrigerant.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:49 | 4922110 BadDog
    BadDog's picture

    Seems they're beginnning to put it everything now.  I was reading the label on some pimento cheese at the grocery store today and lo and behold...cellulose as an ingredient. So if you're a termite go for it.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:14 | 4922396 NotApplicable
    NotApplicable's picture

    Any pre-packaged shredded cheese has always had either cellulose or silica as an anti-caking agent.

    Oh, wait, you said pimento.

    Never mind.

     

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:42 | 4922523 Headbanger
    Headbanger's picture

    Damn!   And I just found there's even nitrous cellulose in my gun powder!!

    It's everywhere!  It's everywhere!!

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 19:36 | 4923234 RafterManFMJ
    RafterManFMJ's picture

    Hide the sausage?

    Let's play hide the inflation. Reduce package weight but not package size. Cut the meat with wood chips and pink slime. Those guys that got Mad Cow disease may have got off easy.

    Read other day that BEER isnt required to list ingredients so quite a bit has added bizarro material like -

    Monosodium Glutamate (MSG) – alcohol is already addictive with some people, but with MSG?! Holy smokes.
    Propylene Glycol (an ingredient found in anti-freeze)
    Calcium Disodium EDTA (made from formaldehyde, sodium cayanide, and Ethylenediamine)
    Many different types of sulfites and anti-microbial preservatives (linked to allergies and asthma)
    Natural Flavors (can come from anything natural including a beavers anal gland)
    High Fructose Corn Syrup
    GMO Sugars – Dextrose, Corn Syrup
    Caramel Coloring (Class III or IV made from ammonia and classified as a carcinogen)
    FD&C Blue 1 (Made from petroleum, linked to allergies, asthma and hyperactivity)
    FD&C Red 40 (Made from petroleum, linked to allergies, asthma and hyperactivity)
    FD&C Yellow 5 (Made from petroleum, linked to allergies, asthma and hyperactivity)
    Insect-Based Dyes: carmine derived from cochineal insects to color their beer.
    Animal Based Clarifiers: Findings include isinglass (dried fish bladder), gelatin (from skin, connective tissue, and bones), and casein (found in milk)
    Foam Control: Used for head retention; (glyceryl monostearate and pepsin are both potentially derived from animals)
    BPA (Bisphenol A is a component in many can liners and it may leach into the beer. BPA can mimic the female hormone estrogen and may affect sperm count, and other organ functions.)
    Carrageenan (linked to inflammation in digestive system, IBS and considered a carcinogen in some circumstances)

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 20:25 | 4923376 COSMOS
    COSMOS's picture

    I can understand the brew your own beer movement now.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:49 | 4922111 blindman
    blindman's picture

    gender ambiguity in the food chain is the future.
    better living through chemistry and carelessness ......
    .
    Intersex fish found in 3 Pennsylvania river basins
    http://www.latimes.com/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-pennsylvania-intersex-f...

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:15 | 4922430 NotApplicable
    NotApplicable's picture

    Furthering the "everybody is gay" hypothesis.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:26 | 4922468 Dr. Richard Head
    Dr. Richard Head's picture

    Shit, I was taking this shake supplement ViSalus.  It was a non-GMO soy products and I mixed up doubles of this shit for almost two years.  Turns out my estrogen levels became highly elevated and I indeed started to become irrational, highly emotional, and other thought process changes that never made sense to me.  I quit the shakes a few months ago and my brain is back to my normal though processes, but I was turning into a damned woman. 

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:38 | 4922513 NotApplicable
    NotApplicable's picture

    So that's what was up with your posts! ;-)

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:49 | 4922112 TeamDepends
    TeamDepends's picture

    Brown slime?

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 16:36 | 4922706 edifice
    edifice's picture

    No, that is the net result of consuming their food.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:49 | 4922113 Skateboarder
    Skateboarder's picture

    Now you know why it tastes like cardboard. ;-)

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:52 | 4922126 john39
    john39's picture

    yeah, and unless they are getting the cellulose from recyling (old diapers?), the tree huggers are going to be up in arms about the senseless slaughter of the trees.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 17:26 | 4922414 813kml
    813kml's picture

    This should save Papa John's some $$$s on packaging, now they can just slather their ketchup sauce on the box and toss on some pepperoni-shaped pink slime.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:51 | 4922118 Aussiekiwi
    Aussiekiwi's picture

    D/click

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:50 | 4922119 Aussiekiwi
    Aussiekiwi's picture

    Wood Pulp, well at least its natural, sort of getting back to nature I suppose.l

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:53 | 4922130 firstdivision
    firstdivision's picture

    Non-absorbant, sooooo you're better off eating grass out of your yard.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:58 | 4922362 PoliticalRefuge...
    PoliticalRefugeefromCalif.'s picture

    .."tastes like wild hickory nuts!"..

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:51 | 4922121 Two Theives and...
    Two Theives and a Liar's picture

    It's worthless filler in FIAT currency as well! ;)

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:54 | 4922136 john39
    john39's picture

    soon enough the fiat currency will be the filler added to oak-burgers...

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:58 | 4922159 TeamDepends
    TeamDepends's picture

    The McDollar burger, it's green!

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 21:53 | 4923626 americanreality
    americanreality's picture

    "The Mcdollar burger, its green!"   Shouldn't you be at church or kneeling towards the crucifix and praying or whatever it is you bible bangers do?  Brain dead idiots like you should be thrown to the lions.  You dumb down the discussion when you comment.  

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:52 | 4922128 SmittyinLA
    SmittyinLA's picture

    Last week I pondered how they* could debase Pink Slime, now we know, what happens when sawdust becomes too expensive? 

    Toxic waste? 

    If flavored properly Americans will eat toxic waste 

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:25 | 4922257 MsCreant
    MsCreant's picture

    It already is and we already do.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 19:41 | 4923247 RafterManFMJ
    RafterManFMJ's picture

    Within 5 years the days of wood pulp and pink slime will be remembered as the halcyon days of yore when they are replaces with the matted ass and back hair of illegal immigrants.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:53 | 4922129 NOTaREALmerican
    NOTaREALmerican's picture

    Come on,  does this affect the top 20%,  seriously?      This is a nation that can't even stop predatory lending to "our troops".   This is a nation that can't even agree that predatory lending exists.   This is a nation that LOVES laughing at dumbasses getting screwed.   

    Survival of the fittest,   bitchezzz!    

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:56 | 4922132 Chuck Knoblauch
    Chuck Knoblauch's picture

    I'd like a double soylent green with cheese.

    IT'S MADE OUT OF PEOPLE!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Sp-VFBbjpE

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:57 | 4922149 john39
    john39's picture

    Onion, RIP.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:58 | 4922157 Atomizer
    Atomizer's picture

    The comments are priceless.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:28 | 4922474 Dave Thomas
    Dave Thomas's picture

    Jumpin Jehova on a pogo stick, is nothing safe from cultural engineering these days? Actually this is kind of a testament on how fake and plastic our cultural identity has become, we need a fucking fast food corporation to validate our new cultural norms.

    Guess it's time to start drinkin early.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:02 | 4922178 overexposed
    overexposed's picture

    WTF.  Why can't these goddamn companies stop shoving political shit in our faces and get back to MAKING FOOD.

    EARTH TO BOARDROOM - Nobody gives a FUCK what YOU think.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:12 | 4922217 john39
    john39's picture

    mind controll the young generations, and in no time... you have changed reality.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:29 | 4922278 madmax1965
    madmax1965's picture

    That's the truth J39.  My 15 year old daughter has a couple of non thinking friends that all of a sudden think they are lesbians!  Thankfully, I have been lucky enough to teach my kids to think about everything they hear/read cause most of it is BS!

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:18 | 4922441 Matt
    Matt's picture

    In the end, there will be two corporations like there are two political parties, and you will either shop at Red Corp or Blue Inc. Of course, there may appear to be numerous companies due to anti-monopoly laws and appearences, but through shell companies and wholly owned subsidiaries, there will in fact be only two "choices".

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 18:06 | 4923003 Umh
    Umh's picture

    Two! Two is dreadfully inefficient! One choice is all that they need! Just give them two labels.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 19:47 | 4923260 RafterManFMJ
    RafterManFMJ's picture

    Fuck you pal; I, for one, care what they think.

    Their progressive programming really reaches me! Well I'm off for a Oaken Pink Slime burger at that new chain, Turd Burglar King.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:48 | 4922333 krispkritter
    krispkritter's picture

    The new and improved wrapper: http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=23mlgck&s=8#.U7WlHPldV-M

    Apparently the burgers do have 'wood' in them...

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:21 | 4922456 NotApplicable
    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:55 | 4922137 AccreditedEYE
    AccreditedEYE's picture

    The Keynesians would have you believe this is their miracle to the world... More people get to eat. Sludge.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:53 | 4922138 Joe Tierney
    Joe Tierney's picture

    Sooooo, I guess when you get in that road rage incident with the moron that just cut you off, and you get outta yer car and threaten to beat the pulp outta him, it's really true! You will be beating lots and lots of pulp outta him!

     

    It's not pulp fiction, either.

     

    And, your woodie, is, well, really a woodie!

     

    TMI

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:57 | 4922150 Joe Tierney
    Joe Tierney's picture

    Fabbaluss! Ssssimply fabbaluss!

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:56 | 4922148 JDFX
    JDFX's picture

    Timburger.....!!  

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:31 | 4922287 ZerOhead
    ZerOhead's picture

    Brought to you by the Beaver Foods Corporation...

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:57 | 4922153 VWAndy
    VWAndy's picture

    This all goes away when they open

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    the FEMA camps

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:23 | 4922254 o.t.p.s
    o.t.p.s's picture

    Wrong, they gonna step it up, massproduction (nice workcamps for the people)

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:57 | 4922154 The_Dude
    The_Dude's picture

    Just getting the sheep ready for when they are eating grass and the bark off of trees....

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:58 | 4922158 Sutton
    Sutton's picture

    Ahhhh. I miss the good old days of pink slime.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:02 | 4922161 Chuck Knoblauch
    Chuck Knoblauch's picture

    Hair lice is being turned into a new protein snack at McDonalds.

    Especially along the Mexico border.

    Yum!

    Can I get some BBQ sauce please.

    hehehehe

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 13:59 | 4922163 pathetic looser
    pathetic looser's picture

    i have friends and we go to mcd's and i'm not ordering anything( i did before cause i'm dumb and ignorant) , so they ask me - how come? i answear that i refuse to support an evil corporation that is responsible for numerous unethical actions. they look at me like im an alien and tell me that im paranoid , they say : "c'mon it tastes so good".  i bet devil' s cock tastes good too. lord fucking help me

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:55 | 4922355 Herd Redirectio...
    Herd Redirection Committee's picture

    It seems they are unacquainted with what a lot of salt and cooking with oil will do for food.  What they are ignorant of is the high amount of filler and preservatives...

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:09 | 4922400 pathetic looser
    pathetic looser's picture

    judging by my experience , people are not interested in looking deep into things , thats ''hard and boring'' , '' what is a preservative? who cares , relax nobody dies from that''.  people like things that taste good (even if its soylent green), things that make you feel good. it feels good to be american, feels good to be the best

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 15:29 | 4922479 NotApplicable
    NotApplicable's picture

    But the [insert "protectionist" agency of choice here] says it's SAFE!

    And I hear that from college graduates who believe that is an iron-clad rebuttal.

    Watching 14" tall "wheat" along with the GMO corn and soybeans being harvested these days is sad.

    No amber waves of grain for you!

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 19:50 | 4923268 RafterManFMJ
    RafterManFMJ's picture

    Good for you. This might help your resolve, my nigger:

    http://www.mcdonalds.com/365black/en/home.html

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:02 | 4922175 orangegeek
    orangegeek's picture

    you know, beavers like wood

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:06 | 4922194 Chuck Knoblauch
    Chuck Knoblauch's picture

    Enjoy licking the underside of a rotten piece of wood.

    Has all kinda critters inside it.

    Has all the essential nutrients and protein.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:03 | 4922182 youngman
    youngman's picture

    Watch out when you light that campfire this weekend....you might be the fire starter...the kindling so to speak...what kind of wood I want to know..I bet some taste better than others...I love the Blue Spruce...I planted thousands across Colorado....a beautiful tree..and tastes great too I bet..

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:05 | 4922188 ThorAss
    ThorAss's picture

    EVERYBODY .... Two all beef patties, lettuce, cheese, pickles, wood pulp, on a sesame seed bun.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:09 | 4922205 Chuck Knoblauch
    Chuck Knoblauch's picture

    Did you ever bite into a tumor?

    Gushing all that white puss?

    It's high in vitamin Z.

    A new vitamin just invented by the head chef at McDonalds.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:07 | 4922195 yogibear
    yogibear's picture

    William Dudley of the NY Federal Reserve:

    "Let them eat iPods."

     

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:08 | 4922203 Yen Cross
    Yen Cross's picture

         McDonalds and GM should team up for the Special Olympics.  I see nothing but gold plated tungsten medals on their athletes.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:08 | 4922204 grunk
    grunk's picture

    More bark per bite.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:11 | 4922212 Chuck Knoblauch
    Chuck Knoblauch's picture

    i want a double tumor with cheese.

    extre white puss, please!

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:12 | 4922215 Jason T
    Jason T's picture

    they had a sign for $2.50 happy meals and 50 cent ice cream cones .. meanwhile, MCD sports a 18% net profit margin... how in the F@#$?

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:21 | 4922251 El Vaquero
    El Vaquero's picture

    That's a lot of wood pulp.

     

    (Save the trees, man!)

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:56 | 4922359 plane jain
    plane jain's picture

    Yeah it doesn't add up.  

    Just bought a pound of ground round from a nice market with real butchers (not the factory packed stuff, but not grass fed organic either).  

    $5.89 a pound, so $1.47 for a quarter pound of beef, at least .25 for the cheapest little HFCS bun, throw on some pickle/lettuce/tomato/cheese...must be near $2 in ingredients for a real beef burger.  

    Doesn't leave a lot of room to cover overhead and make a profit, even if you switch to a lower grade bulk ground beef.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:14 | 4922222 ThorAss
    ThorAss's picture

    The fast food culture, and corpofood has made a mockery of life. I swear it drove be to become a vegetarian, more than 30 years ago now. This forced me to take a hard look at what I put in my mouth. I like convenience, and time-saving as much as the next person but not athe expense of health and well-being. Besides I'd rather have a bad meal in a locally owned place (only once) than not try it and sell out to some frankenchised megakrap.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:15 | 4922228 dot_bust
    dot_bust's picture

    Wood. It's what's for dinner.

     

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:17 | 4922235 Typing Typer
    Typing Typer's picture

    These days the FDA classifies wood as a vegetable.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:24 | 4922259 yogibear
    yogibear's picture

    Libtards will say termites are healthy... Plenty of fiber.

    Real maple syrup comes from a tree.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:36 | 4922309 Typing Typer
    Typing Typer's picture

    Termites have lots of protein too!

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:18 | 4922239 surf0766
    surf0766's picture

    Soylent Green is peopleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:18 | 4922241 B2u
    B2u's picture

     National Geographic Reports – Chemicals Causing Infertility in Pigs are Present Throughout Human Consumer Goods.

     

    Let's give Democrats discounts on this kind of food.  When they get sick then let them  navigate through Obamacare.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:19 | 4922243 whoopsing
    whoopsing's picture

    New product ...Sappy meal...:)

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:19 | 4922247 Smiley
    Smiley's picture

    The only real reason people I know eat that crap is on a dare to see how long they can clench their cheeks before they have an explosive diarrhea blowout:  Taco Bell is still king when it comes to this.

    Even the grittiest and scariest of construction site lunch trucks can't hold a candle to the 'blowout' effect of McDonald's or Taco Bell.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 19:55 | 4923280 RafterManFMJ
    RafterManFMJ's picture

    True story.

    If I eat a McDonalds Sausage McGuffin and an orange drink I will projectile shit a brown stream so violent and yet cohesive it looks like a mud volcano erupting from my boxers.

    Haven't yet figured a way to monetize this ability.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:20 | 4922250 El Vaquero
    El Vaquero's picture

    LOL, now people who live on McShitters are getting a high fiber diet.  I wouldn't be surprised if adding wood pulp actually makes McShitters BETTER for people because wood pulp is likely fairly neutral as opposed to the other shit that they add to their food.

    Thu, 07/03/2014 - 14:23 | 4922258 Yen Cross
    Yen Cross's picture

    Good one lulz.

     

     

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