Ukraine's New Interior Minister Promises To Retake Crimea From Russia

Tyler Durden's picture

The civil war in east Ukraine - the self-proclaimed republic of Novorossiya - is back on and raging as violently as ever, with unconfirmed reports that even Russia has now gotten involved:

This follows what BBC reported was the death of at least nine civilians during an attack on a village in the Luhansk region of eastern Ukraine. "The rebels have accused the Ukrainian army of shelling and bombing the village of Luhanska. But Ukrainian officials said their forces were not in the area, blaming the rebels themselves."

In other words more of the same, and certainly not helping any attempts at peace or even a ceasefire, as Russia and Ukraine are again stuck accusing each other of scuttling all attempts at ending hostilities. As Reuters noted, in a telephone conversation with U.S. Vice President Joe Biden, Poroshenko repeated a promise that Kiev could return to the ceasefire, on three conditions. "A statement on his website said he wanted assurances on a 'bilateral' truce, the release of hostages, and the deployment of international monitors to check Ukraine's porous border with Russia. Moscow denies Ukraine's charges that it is letting fighters and weapons cross into the east of the country."

Curiously, besides Putin benefiting from higher oil prices as a result of geopolitical instability, and a far better venue to achieve that nowadays would be Iraq anyway, one wonders who actually has more to gain from perpetuating the fighting.

Yet the most surprising news of the day comes not from the contested region, but from Kiev where Ukraine's president Poroshenko appointed a new Ukraine defense minister, Valeriy Heletey. His first promise? To not only re-engage Russia in Crimea, but to be victorious in doing so. From BBC:

New Ukrainian Defence Minister Valeriy Heletey has promised that the army would retake Crimea, restoring the country's territorial integrity.


Addressing parliament in Kiev, he said: "There will be a victory parade... in Ukraine's Sevastopol."


Lt Gen Heletey, 46, was approved by MPs in Kiev after being recommended by Mr Poroshenko as someone who would work day and night to restore the military capability of the country's armed forces. His remark about Sevastopol was applauded by the chamber.

We are confident Putin had a different, and far more amused reaction to the statement.

But while we applaud Ukraine's attempts at generating populist enthusiasm, a far bigger problem for the nation will be if, as we explained previously, Russia not only manages to finally conclude the South Stream, which despite Europe's attempts at sabotage, is proceeding according to schedule, but diverts all gas transit away from Ukraine. At that point, Ukraine will be completely irrelevant not only to Russia, which already has under its control, via separatist groups, the industrial regions in the east, but to Europe. It goes without saying that the second Russia makes Ukraine irrelevant as a core transit hub to Europe, all the promises from Europe, NATO, IMF and of course, America, will be gone with the wind. Only then will Ukraine discover just how credible its newly found allies are...

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Impoverished Psychologist's picture

They will not stop until they push Vlad into war... this is the plan.


Anusocracy's picture

"someone who would work day and night to restore the military capability of the country's armed forces."

Just what a fucking dirt poor country needs.

Idiot puppets of the West.

Deathrips's picture

I think Putin should throw the biggest independence day party that the world has ever seen ....peaceful in eastern Ukraine. Bands, Free alcohol, free drugs...womens clothing optional....only under 150 lbs ;).

Film it all live internet streaming and when the west attack..there will be no doubt who the terrorists are.


If only..


TahoeBilly2012's picture

The West also wants missles in Ukraine, don't forget that.

Manthong's picture

Hell, they can’t take a marginally armed civilian region..  good luck with tens of thousands of pissed off Russian troops that would just love to take out murdering Nazis.

The Alarmist's picture

Next comes that age old taunt heard from children:  "Oh yeah? You and what army?"

BorisTheBlade's picture

That's what nations and states in failure do, they go to war, often with adversary they cannot defeat. Ukraine is a basket case with nothing but debts and internal conflict they will try and project outside the country. Populace will be rallied against ressurgent Russia, which will only intervene when it has 100% rock solid justification to do so, i.e. being attacked. I have no dount Kiev regime may at some point be suicidal enough to take on Crimea with nothing but pitchforks with the easily predictable outcome. Russia again will be painted in darkest colors possible in Western media and Ukrainians will become fiercely anti-Russian and long and bloody conflict will follow. At least that's the plan. It doesn't mean though, events will follow this path. With current level of strategic thinkind in D.C. they could easily screw up entire thing and end up being defeated by their own arrogance with Poroshenko facing same pitchforks he thought would be turned against Putin.

Either way, Ukraine is unfortunately screwed.

NoDebt's picture

Cant keep the heat or lights on, but somehow there's always money for war.

Oracle 911's picture

The schmucks will get the war, but not that kind which they want.

Yeah, the economic war is on and the US PTB is helping the BRICS with everything.


BTW in which mental asylum they found this so called general?

TheReplacement's picture

"Only under 150 lbs"

Seriously?  You don't like fatties but kinda fatty is okay?  Dude that just gross.  120 MAX.

MrPalladium's picture

Hey, a gal who is 5' 11" should weigh at least 145 lbs!!

Manthong's picture

How much should a 7 foot female (it's hard to tell) wookie weigh?

therover's picture

Ya got that right. I don't want a 5'11'' stick. 

Deathrips's picture

Theres a 6'2" blonde whos hot as fuck..thats like a buck 45 ish. ;)

I wanna see it.



IronForge's picture

Come on over to Manhattan Beach, California.

They have those Beach Volleyball Dames (from the tournaments) here.  I used to work out at a Fitness Ctr Franchise in Hermosa a few years ago.  Some had pretty faces; and worked real hard at the Gym - I had no problem helping them with their routine (e.g., Pull-ups).

Not my type, though (too "lean") - I prefer some degree of non-artificially enhanced "curvature" for the Future Trophy Wife.   

The Town's a nice place for a Tour/Mountain Bike Route, too.

Volkodav's picture

Russian Federation "Independence Day" is in June.

czarangelus's picture

It really honestly seems that way, but fucking why? Who gains from knocking over bridges, sapping all the wealth from the working classes that might otherwise go to funding innovations and raise the tide for all boats?

David Icke's reptilians are looking more and more likely because at least that's a consistent narrative that makes sense. It's hard to believe there could be any motive at work but an active, intentional, methodical destruction of as much human capital as possible.

magpie's picture

The people running the West from the shadows are dialectical materialists, believing in the complete inevatibility of collapse.

They will not even contemplate just preserving the status quo, they will accelerate the destruction. And magically, after the kaboom, the Georgia Guidestone Weltrevolution.

NotApplicable's picture

If one's only option is to break things, might as well break them to your liking.

Also known as "Plan A."

(and B, and C...)

Radical Marijuana's picture

David Icke's reptilians theory is more recently being presented by him as more about "other dimensions," rather than being literal. To me, it seems that, as the real world overtakes Icke, he has simultaneously fallen back to explaining his views in more believable ways.

I go for the general theory of morphogenic fields, in which there are chreodes operating. From that perspective, then ALL living beings are surrounded by force fields. Indeed, they are actually manifestations of relative particularizations out of the force fields. There is nothing new these days in the notions of more dimensions being seriously considered in physics, which therefore make that kind of metaphysics become very plausible.

To apply that general theory, consider that civilization has resulted in specialization of labour, with the most crucial of those being the rulings classes that survived by specializing the most in being dishonest and backing that up with violence. Consider thousands and thousands of years of selection for the people who were the best at backing up deceits with destruction thereby becoming the ruling classes within that sequence of civilizations. Now consider what their morphogenic fields would look like, or how their chreodes would have developed.

The ruling classes are very concerned with their blood lines, and with attempting to train their children to take over the established systems. They would have been both biologically and culturally selected and conditioned to be the kinds of people that they are. The ruling classes were the result of the history of successful warfare based on deceits, and successful finance based on frauds. From the point of view of most of the people they rule over, they would appears as metaphorically like "aliens" without normal human compassion. Anyone who had the sensitive abilities to imagine that would see them appearing as being that, since their "real" force fields actually ARE that!

However, merely being the best at being dishonesty and backing that up with violence in the past does not necessarily guarantee anything in the future. In my view, what has happened is that the ruling classes have become criminally insane, because they were not good at anything other than wiping out their competition, which used to be good enough, but no longer is remotely close to being sufficient.

Certainly, in my view, this new individual who the puppet masters have indirectly installed in the Western Ukraine's military appears to be the criminally insane product of the actualization a bigger overall criminally insane agenda. I believe we are looking at the inertia of social and political habits carrying itself forward. The history that selected for the ruling classes to become the best at being dishonest and violent has cruised on autopilot into a a new set of environmental conditions, which it has not yet had time to adapt to.

Unfortunately for human beings, ecological calculations are like a meat-grinder, that differentially kills people. The corrections to those human ecology calculations can take a lot of meat-grinding, especially in the absence of any better culture of artificial selection. In that context, I think that the current ruling classes are going to get their teeth worn out.

Anyway, those are indications of my kinds of answers to your question, czarangelus, of "fucking why?"

The poetic metaphors about archeons, or aliens, or whatever, tend to be over-simplistic symbols for real phenomena in evolutionary ecologies of energy systems, of which we are only just beginning to glimpse and more thoroughly understand. However, in my view, all of those who have been popularizing those notions are still collapsing back to old-fashioned false fundamental dichotomies and related impossible ideals, when they turn from their analysis to their suggestions of "solutions" for those problems that most of our previously established social and political habits have become criminally insane, and psychotically detached from reality, WHICH IS WHAT THE STATEMENTS OF THE CRAZY GUY IN THE UNIFORM FEATURED IN THIS ARTICLE APPEAR TO BE!

TahoeBilly2012's picture

There is not doubt where the US once screamed "human rights" they now allow allies to bomb cilivians in broad daylight, or hand out cookies to paid Nazi's. It's a huge change and you wonder if it's desperation or actually a twist in tactics to simply scare the fuck out of everyone. I can't tell.

luftmensch's picture

Radical m, thats a very interesting but cynical view. Wisdom can also be passed through chreodes.

Not sure how you're relating that to Ukraine, but 90% of the articles and comments on ZH are extremely one-sided, and much of them are likely paid Russian propaganda targeting anyone critical of the West. Specifically about Crimea, what do the Crimeans have to say:

"The highly professional poll shows an overwhelming majority of Ukrainian citizens want Russia only as a friendly neighbor with open borders and no visas. Some 12.5 percent want Russia and Ukraine as one country, reaching a high of 20% in the East and 25% in the Crimean south. An unoccupied Ukraine would not voluntarily join the corrupt and dysfunctional Russia."

Titus's picture

1) Consider the source, dipshit.

2) ukraine is two different countries. the parasitic westerners who dont produce anything but consume wealth, and the easterners who, as a whole, spend their lives in factories creating value.

Volkodav's picture

Forbes is terrible.

You copy all the propaganda intended for useful idiots like yourself.

rubiconsolutions's picture

There's a great line in the movie 'Taken'......."Good luck"

Jack Burton's picture

That is correct "Impoverished Ps...". The Ukrainian Rada and it's now mostly radical members are just useful idiots for Washington's overall plan to force Putin to engage militarily in East Ukraine. That is why the villages and towns are under shelling and air attack. To kill enough civilians that domestic pressure inside the Russian Federation demands Putin acts to defend these people. They are the bait. Both NATO and the USA are desperate for Russia to cross that border. That would justify the complete cutting of economic ties between Russia and the EU, forced on by claims of Russian aggression. NATO would then have reason to be heavily funded and many officers promoted and more soldiers recruited and large standing armies put onto the border. Many new jobs for military men and corporate arms producers would profit heavily. But what you say is true, This is the plan. Washington is desperate to stop the growing economic and social ties between the Russian Federation and the EU nations. Too much trade, too much cross cultural mixing, too little Ameican influence and control. Plain and simple, Ukraine's nazi movement was funded by Washington because they are crazy enough to kill and kill until Putin has to cross that border. For now Russia has stood back and allowed an amazing array of artillery, rocket, mortar and air strikes on sites and towns. Russia sat by after the massacre in Odessa and Mariupol and now the hundreds of dead inside the bombardment zone.

In the last two days Ukraine's army and right sector gangs attacked all across the front. In most cases they were stopped in their tracks by the self defense forces and smow air craft were shot down, several tanks and APC's knocked out. The offensive failed to break through, though sheer force of numbers has shifted some Self Defense fighters to new positions.

The deluded fools in the Rada and the military leadership are doing what their CIA and US military commanders tell them. But at the front morale is bad, there have been defections by Kiev's men in Donetsk. Also several hundred Kiev border troops ran away into Russia and asked for asylum, other joined the local self defense forces. Kiev's military frankly sucks. All they can do is bombard, when they move to attack, they get hit hard. What progress they do make is by using 20-1 odds.

Yesterday a few interviews of Self Defense fighters wre translated and made available. In one case a soldier on the border claimed that Russian fighter aircraft crossed the border and made moves on several Ukrainian fighter bombers that were making ground attacks on his positions. He claimed the Russian fighters approached the Ukrainian planes and fired their cannon in warning shots of tracer shells. He says the Ukrainian planes made off fast and the Russian planes sped back into RUssian territory. He also said the Russian planes nip across the border as it takes only a minute for them to fly back into Russian airspace. Other reports say the same, but nobody official can confirm this. SDF fighters also claim to find weapons systems and vehicles like heavy guns and the odd tank or anti aircraft missile system just sitting along the side of the road.  It is assumed by them that these come across from Russia and are left by SDF postions by their Russian counterparts. Official support or not, it seems Russian army units on the border have slipped modern weapons across for the SDF use. That's all I have on direct Russian support for the SDF.

gruntled's picture

Related to Ukrainian troop morale: on SouthFront's FB page they're saying that "the punitive forces of Kiev junta" (not sure if this is Natguard or regular army conscripts - hoping it's NatGuard) in Lugansk are now having to eat stray dogs to stay alive.


As Dear Leader would say, that's not optimal.

luftmensch's picture

wow Jack, almost had to give you an up vote for your detailed & convoluted analysis. Are you a paid Putin blog-thug, or just an idiot who thinks Russia's oligarchs are way cooler than the Wests billionaires? Or are you simply schizo?

So your logic is the U.S. is bombing Ukraine to force a war with peace loving Putin? You and your gang of Putin lovers casually discuss "Nazis" in Ukraine -- Nazi's hate slavs as much as jews, 4m Ukranians (majority not jews) were murdered by Nazis. Why the fuck do you think anyone would become a nazi in Ukraine?!

The cold war is over, get over it, go watch the world cup if you need to get excited about tribal warfare.

Titus's picture

putin had no need for war, he effective controlled ukraine economically prior to the west starting revolution there.

ukrainians = jews

a bit of eastern european knowledge for you:

"Where a Ukranian has been, there is nothing left for a jew to do."


luftmensch's picture

wow, you got your comment submitted within 3 minutes of the article post!  Almost as if you were using automated blog spamming tools designed by Russian hackers for Putin's proganda army!

""Mr. Putin, as a young KGB officer in Berlin, was not an intelligence agent but a disinformation specialist...Putin’s invisible disinformation campaign is a carbon copy of the one Stalin used during the Great Terror (1937-1938) and World War II…""



alexcojones's picture

Take Crimea?

Yeah, right. Dream on, asshole.

You and general Dickwad Breedlove.

McMolotov's picture

Have fun storming the castle!!!

gold_pa3ot's picture

another putin's bitch on ZH.. fuck off

TheReplacement's picture

How does expressing realism make him Putin's bitch?  Ukraine cannot defeat Russia.  Do you have any rational way they could?

therover's picture

Nuke Sevastopol ? Oh sorry, you said rational.

luftmensch's picture

ultimately karma can be a bitch, life hasn't been that fun in Russia for the past few centuries, maybe y'all should consider a different approach to life.  You can take Ukraine, you can take many places, but there are consequences.

Its kind of like the difference between raping a bitch or finding someone you actually like and trying to have a good life together.

The_Prisoner's picture

You premise is correct, however our conclusions are wrong. Life in Russias has been a bitch, but why?

Putin is doing a great job at removing the causes:

- Arrested media control from the same group who controls media in the west.

- Outlawed gay propaganda, one of the tools used by the 5th columnists (ahem Pussy Riot).

- Re-introduced private land ownership laws. Which automatically makes Russia less socialist than the US, where imminet domain laws are going to turn it into China.

Once need only observe what hardcore globalist like George Soros are saying about Russia to know Putin is a major pimple in the ass of the NWO.

But back to your argument. Life in Russia sucked because of Bolshevism. Now, look at the policies being introduced in the West and tell me with a straight face that the West is not the current theatre of operations of the Bolsheviks.

Know your enemy.


luftmensch's picture

lol, yes, I'm sure you're much safer entrusting your entire media to a former E. Berlin KGB disinformation officer.  Let me know how that goes.

You may have outlawed gay propaganda from pussy riot, but it looks like your flagrantly displaying your preference for alternative lifestyles in your military (

Yeah, agreed, tyranic oligarchy is not socialism, although I heard you still have free colleges?  

Life sucks in Russia because you have a klepto-oligarchy making you their serf bitches, stealing the vast majority of your natural resources, stuffing it into Cyprus bank accounts, sending their kids to school in London, and fucking over any else who trys to start a new industry in their fiefdom.


Titus's picture

do you live in russia?

my guess is no, likely never been to russia either.

just another USA propagandist talking shit...

luftmensch's picture

I lived long-term in Russia recently, got to see your system first-hand.  

Volkodav's picture

All your knowledge come from mainstream media?

No wonder you are ignorant goat.

Volkodav's picture

Berlin? VV Putin was stationed in Dresden

TungstenBars's picture

Oh look, another paid troll!


Go fuck off to CNN/Fox where you might actually fool some people you terrorist fuck. That, or go jump off a bridge and save the free world the trouble. 

luftmensch's picture

"another putin's bitch on ZH..fuck off"  -- 53 down votes to 2 up, the kremlin's spam-bots outnumber us 25:1.

angel_of_joy's picture

You take yourself too seriously. Nobody pays you any attention.

People vote you down to show you just how annoying (and stupid) they think you are.

MiTasol's picture

I can't even be fucked to vote him down, he's made big enough a dick of himself enough without any help.

gallistic's picture

It kind of reminds me of another hollow statement JFK made directly to the remains of the US proxy force that got their asses handed to them when they invaded Cuba more than 53 years ago.

"I can assure you that this flag will be returned to this brigade in a free Havana."

There is no JFK, no Brigade, and hardly any former members still alive.

ebworthen's picture

The mouse that roared.

And didn't see the mouse trap, or the Maine Coon Cat.