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Happy Birthday America

Tyler Durden's picture


It's different this time...



Source: Cagle

Some thoughts (submitted by Chris Moorman),

"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"


-The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus

Happy Birthday America!
238 years old. Quite a respectable age.
You’ve managed to stay upright and breathing through a Civil War which nearly ripped you in half. 
You fought on behalf of liberty in two World Wars which enveloped you from across the globe, and even in victory, you magnanimously invited the vanquished back into the global community with open arms.
You’ve welcomed, albeit occasionally with gritted teeth, the “huddled masses” and “wretched refuse” of immigrants unwanted in their native lands and assimilated them into a society which has grown to be the richest the world has ever seen.
You’ve dealt with modernization, urbanization and the mass media.
You faced down the threat of nuclear annihilation and the dehumanizing spectre of Communism largely with soft power instead of the destruction that total war brings.
For the better part of two and a half centuries, you’ve held true to those most sacrosanct of ideals espoused by your Founding Fathers, those mostly enlightened men, “who brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal” and in doing so have been a source of hope for freedom loving people everywhere.
This isn’t to say that you’ve been blameless. No institution, no matter how grand its codified ideals (I’m looking at you Catholicism) can stay blameless forever. The stain of slavery, the dehumanization of those we found on this continent prior to European discovery, and the wars of choice fought over the past 60 years have fallen short of your commitment to those high minded ideals in favor of “realpolitik.”
I should quit saying “you.” This isn’t a professional sports team I’ll never play for, this is America. This is the living breathing organism which has from my first breath, blessed me with freedom, safety and mobility to be whomever I choose to be.
I cannot pick those attributes of America with which I agree a la carte, leaving the less desirable remainders for others to choke down. I cannot look at my neighbor and say, “Oh no, this is YOUR President. I didn’t vote for him.”
Men and women who came before me gave their blood, sweat, tears and lives to vouchsafe my ability to make this MY America, one where each voice, no matter its wealth, social status, or color of skin has an equal part to play in maintaining the greatest engine of human freedom and prosperity that the world has ever seen.
Yet spending another 4th of July abroad, I find myself tired.

I am tired of trying to explaining away the past 14 years of leadership so comically unenlightened that our political system has devolved into a shouting match incapable of legislating.


I’m tired of trying to explain to the Europeans and the Vietnamese and everyone else who doesn’t share my passport cover that the policies of my government do not reflect Americans as individuals.


I’m tired of seeing my government encroaching further and further into the lives of its citizenry, of spying on even our allies, and systematically limiting the rights of the individual.


I’m tired of being called a “brainwashed moron” because I believe in the fundamental American right to bear arms, even in the face of yet another mass shooting.


I’m tired of seeing my fellow Americans try to pass themselves off as Canadians to attempt to shirk a history that while imperfect, is still as proud or prouder than any nation the world has ever seen.

For all the chest beating talk of “American Exceptionalism” I hear at home, I am tired of being in a room of foreigners and seen as the idiot because I am not “properly embarrassed” of my country.
I am an American, and God help me if even for a fleeting moment that I deny that enviable truth.
I stand here today embracing the fact that the problems of the nation which has given me so much are inseparable from my own.
I look to the members of the so called “Greatest Generation,” who sacrificed lives by the millions against a tyrannical force as twisted and corrupt as any seen in the course of human history, for guidance. 
They fought with a single mind against an enemy armed with weapons engineered to make the slaughter of innocents magnitudes more efficient than ever before. They had the same right to vote that I did. They did not shirk from their duty, or try to hide behind their broken political system. They stood and took the mantle of liberty upon their own shoulders and said, “Liberty will prevail, and America will make sure of it.”
What happened to that America? Are we going through some sort of national midlife crisis?
Why is my generation different from that of my grandparents? Has our democratic right to vote been taken away? Has our voice been silenced by statute or dictat? Do we find men with guns at our doors waiting to silence opposition?
No. The answer is much more humiliating.
We’ve merely disengaged. We’ve taken the spoils that our forebears won for us and squandered our inheritance on iPhones and TVs. On houses that would’ve made even the richest in generations past blush with the embarrassment.
We’ve taken “conspicuous consumption,” once a behavior to be avoided at all costs, and made it into a virtue.
We tear apart our politicians at the slightest misspoken word, while giving our hours and eyeballs to such enlightened television as “Teen Mom,” “Honey Boo-Boo,” and the countless shows devoted to the Kardashians, a family known only for the limited virtue of their fame seeking promiscuity.
We’ve taken capitalism, an engine of growth predicated on rewarding the hardest working and most creative among us, and corrupted it into a rigged game of three card monte through cronyism and financialization.
Americans have inherited a system which requires constant maintenance, and we’ve let it go on autopilot for nearly an entire generation. The results have been as bad as history would have predicted.
Our education system, once envied as the best in the world, now languishes along side such countries as Lithuania and the Slovak Republic, and behind those once “vanquished” foes, the Russians.
Our middle class has been systematically gutted, our rural communities left to wither on the vine both economically and socially, and our political class has partitioned themselves away from the people whom they are elected to represent, happy to bicker from their DC perches rather than associate with the lower classes in anything more meaningful than a photo-op.
The America that we live in and the freedoms we enjoy are not ours by divine right. It is, and will continue to be an ever evolving experiment, the results of which are determined daily by the diligent effort of those citizens who continue to maintain it through their individual efforts.
Our efforts determine the America that my children and yours will inherit.
It is the sacred duty of each of us to ensure that that inheritance is worth receiving.
America I haven’t given up on you. Far from it, my travels have merely galvanized my belief in that responsibility George Washington entrusted to Americans 227 years ago.
Let us raise a standard to which the wise and honest can repair
Generations of great men and women have both raised and maintained that standard, handing it to their sons and daughters in turn. It is the hallowed responsibility of mine to repair it to its former glory, not let it fall to a state beyond repair.
Happy Birthday America.
Enjoy it.
We’ve got work to do tomorrow.

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Fri, 07/04/2014 - 14:36 | 4925025 International Jew
International Jew's picture

Did you know:


Most Zerohedge articles are designed to make you lose money.

Zoroastrianism is the 1 true religion :D

Thinking more positively is the way to create solutions.

Reductive thinking is only useful for realizing what doesn't work.

It will not present solutions.

Scientology is not a scam - dianetics is simply taking command of your brain.

Most zerohedge articles are designed to keep you in a state of fear.



Fri, 07/04/2014 - 14:39 | 4925029 CH1
CH1's picture

Go away... and take your meds.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 14:41 | 4925035 International Jew
International Jew's picture

watch out for the jewish suppressives.  They will always try to keep you in the reactionary mind.

Their goal is to keep you in fear.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 14:46 | 4925042 El Vaquero
El Vaquero's picture
Member for
5 days 22 hours
What the hell is the deal with all of these trolls lately?
Fri, 07/04/2014 - 14:48 | 4925048 International Jew
International Jew's picture

I'm sorry, is something I've said incorrect?  Or are you just mad?




Fri, 07/04/2014 - 14:56 | 4925062 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Aside from insulting almost every world religion, the board you're posting on and using the term 'reductive thinking' when I believe you meant to say 'deductive reasoning', no nothing's wrong.  It's fine.

You're not very good at this, are you?

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 15:04 | 4925073 International Jew
International Jew's picture
employing an analysis of a complex subject into a simplified, less detailed form; of, pertaining to, or employing reductionism; reductionistic. Reducing only matters when you want to know what doesn't work. You then build from what you've reduced. Thus yielding something that has at its very core, the basis for its existance.  IE government / currency.
I'd tell you you've the logic of a lawyer, but in reality, its just idiotic and narrowminded. As for religions?  LOLOLOL, don't make me laugh I don't concern myself with the theories of morons.
Fri, 07/04/2014 - 15:06 | 4925090 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

That's the definition of Reductive, which you obviously found here (definition 3):


The use of reductive thinking has a name.  It's called Reductionism.  I would have used the actual name if you were trying to sound superior to everyone, which you obviously are.

Would you care to explain what it means, so I can post up the Wikipedia link, where you will have copied it from?

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 15:13 | 4925111 International Jew
International Jew's picture

You couldn't have missed the bigger picture more.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 15:41 | 4925190 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

If you want to claim the authority to say the things you are saying, you better polish up on your presentation skills. You would indeed do better to accuse us of being "reductionist." You missed his point. Name calling does not inspire any one to listen to you and engage in a civil exchange.

You are right, there is a certain way that this place feeds on fear and it can be unhealthy. But positive happy thoughts and "wishing" is not the way out of the level of corruption that we are dealing with. When the mainstream media loads us up on fake positive propaganda, it is a logical reaction that a blogspace like this one may lean hard on negative news simply to balance things out. 

They do occasionally post things that have happened that are hopeful or in the right direction (a recent SCOTUS decision comes to mind). 

Me, I think the author of this post is right on the money. The country has become so content that they have cultivated a culture of consumption, fetishism, and disengagement. That is one big assed rock for Prometheus to push up hill.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 15:48 | 4925207 International Jew
International Jew's picture

there is nothing positive about ignoring the truth. 

Positivity and negativity are like math. 

Killing evil people is good.

helping good people is good.

ignoring the truth is bad.

promoting the truth is good.

listening to dumb people is bad

listening to smart people is good.

See, two positives make a positive, two negatives make positive, and heterogenous mixture is negative.




Fri, 07/04/2014 - 15:49 | 4925217 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Why call folks muppets? What is the strategy there?

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 16:00 | 4925246 CCanuck
CCanuck's picture

The book of TROLLISMOLOGY dictates to the International Jew, MsCreant.

He/She is a good little follower for his masters.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 16:13 | 4925292 International Jew
International Jew's picture


Jesus said it himself, the proles will run from the truth like its a demon from holy water.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 19:00 | 4925657 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

So tell us how Scientology is the truth (pops some corn).

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 21:09 | 4925867 flacon
flacon's picture

What's the ticker symbol for "International Jew". I wanna buy some puts. 

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 23:12 | 4925992 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin' Baltar's picture

All those people lighting Chinese fireworks tonight... if only they spent that money on a ticket to DC.

Sat, 07/05/2014 - 02:33 | 4926126 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

'You fought on behalf of liberty in two World Wars...'

I got as far as that and stopped. America supplied both sides with munitions in WWII. The only reason Germany didn't receive theirs was because the Royal Navy sunk their ships. Which side was liberty on then, or do we just call it what it is, outrageous opportunism with more than a liberal helping of bullshit.

If you want to celebrate then celebrate, but spare us all the bullshit, please...

Next you'll be trying to tell us that America has some kind of higher moral standing or more freedom than anyone else, and that really will make me throw up.

Happy birthday.

Sat, 07/05/2014 - 02:57 | 4926143 economics9698
economics9698's picture

Oh fuck Obama is paying these assholes $10 per hour to fuck up the message boards.

Sat, 07/05/2014 - 03:25 | 4926152 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Oh, you're funny.....


Sat, 07/05/2014 - 07:43 | 4926229 August
August's picture

'You fought on behalf of liberty in two World Wars...'

>>>I got as far as that and stopped.

Yep. Just how many lines of ignorant and/or deceptive bullcrap is one expected to read?

Even if I were unemployed, I'd have better things to do with my eyeballs and cortex.

Sat, 07/05/2014 - 10:00 | 4926349 thatthingcanfly
thatthingcanfly's picture

Yeah, I stopped reading at the point where he started quoting Lincoln the Terrible's "proposition nation" propaganda, which was used to justify the unprovoked murdering, raping, and pillaging of Southerners (white and black) and their homeland.

Sat, 07/05/2014 - 08:18 | 4926257 Otrader
Otrader's picture

I don't think they offer options on penny stocks. 

Sat, 07/05/2014 - 10:34 | 4926396 TuPhat
TuPhat's picture

I Jew, you said Zoroastrianism is the true religion and then you quote (incorrectly) Christ. You are messed up.  I didn't read this article on the 4th so you probably won't see this but you are one sick dude.


Fri, 07/04/2014 - 16:15 | 4925295 International Jew
International Jew's picture


Jesus said it himself, the proles will run from the truth like its a demon from holy water.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 17:44 | 4925524 James T. Kirk
James T. Kirk's picture

Jesus did not say that. I cannot tolerate people who fabricate things that Jesus allegedly said, in an attempt to appropriate His authority. Twit.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 17:54 | 4925553 International Jew
International Jew's picture

whatever the bible says people will run from the truth.  close nuff.  I value the bible for its predictions, for everything else, there is scientology and zoroastrianism.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 19:11 | 4925675 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

And Jesus said: "Ya gots to keep yo pimp hand strong, fellas."  And then did Jesus raise his pimp hand, the right one, which was strong, verily, and he smote with his pimp hand the troll upside his head.

I am Chumbawamba 3:13.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 19:13 | 4925679 James T. Kirk
James T. Kirk's picture

Valuing the Bible for its "predictions" while deferring to various Luciferian cults for wisdom is hypocritical. It's like saying "I want God to tell me the future, so I can avoid the problems I would otherwise bring on myself by listening to Satan.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 19:30 | 4925715 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

Lucifer != Satan.

I am Chumbawamba.

Sat, 07/05/2014 - 09:58 | 4926341 sleigher
sleigher's picture

I am so much more at home when I read '!=' in a sentence. It makes me smile.  Thanks chumby!

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 16:02 | 4925256 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Heck yah! That's an insult.

They're meat puppets.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 16:12 | 4925288 International Jew
International Jew's picture

b/c they are>?  & who cares about muppets.  They are goyim, wogs, infidels.  All the major tribes could give a fuck less about them.  So I just tell them the truth and troll.  I don't want to help the idiots any more.  CRUSH THE MUPPETS AND THE JEWS.!  yay 

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 16:17 | 4925307 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

So if you don't think you are helping anyone, if you don't want to help anyone, why are you posting? 

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 16:38 | 4925355 International Jew
International Jew's picture

nothing better to do.  and who cares about muppets?  they dont know anything useless followers whose seed is basically all but dead.  Who cares right?


& this is a group of idiots who pride themselves on calling others sheep and muppets.  I thought it appropriate to remind these idiots that they are only fooling themselves.  Who cares if they deny it on the surface.  They know I'm smarter than them, and thats all that needs to be said.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 21:15 | 4925874 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

The only idiot around here is yourself. 

Proof ? You keep collecting red arrows long beyond what common sense would deem acceptable (or even funny).

Common sense is natural intelligence at its basic (survival) level... You don't have it ! So, let me explain it to you:

a red arrow is the equivalent to a kick in the ass from people who won't bother answering you.

The more you get, the further away you place yourself from the group that you are trying communicate with.

You might fool yourself by thinking that you are some sort of "contrarian", but in reality you are just a miserable troll (baiting to provoke angry reactions).

Apart from being impolite to the extreme, trolling is also moronic, as it requires only following a simplistic script, and no original thinking. It has the same logic of a website bot.

Collect your red arrows (you seem very good at it) and get lost under your rock .

You are a perfect waste of time...



Sat, 07/05/2014 - 10:00 | 4926347 sleigher
sleigher's picture

"All the major tribes could give a fuck less about them."

Then why don't they?

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 16:00 | 4925243 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Who determines who is good and who is evil?

If you kill people doesn't that make you evil?

If you help good people so they become dependent on your help does that make you evil?

If the truth is that you are going to die tomorrow and you choose to ignore that is it bad?

If you yell, "You're all going to die" in a crowded movie theatre is that a good thing even if it really is true that everyone will die eventually?

If dumb people are saying they are going to take your stuff or kill you for it is it bad to listen to them?

If smart people say you are evil and should die is it good to listen to them?

I don't give a flung turd about this or that way of thinking.  It's all just excuses for this or that path of action in order to excuse any kind of conscience or responsibility. 

Edit:  Isn't evil a religious concept?  Since you have no respect for religion then you must not buy into the obvious religious fallacy that there is even such a thing as evil. Or, maybe you believe in this thing called evil which you cannot actually define with precise scientific parameters.  Keep up the faith.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 23:07 | 4925988 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

Ding, Ding, Ding ... We Have a Winner !!!

More straw men hoisted up the flagpole in 9 paragraphs than has ever been seen before.

Aaaaaannnnnnnnd, what does he win ? ...  a flung turd, perhaps.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 15:09 | 4925091 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture


Fri, 07/04/2014 - 14:50 | 4925056 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

It appears ZH is being over run as our southern borders. Have any of you been itchy recently? Could be scabies.


Fri, 07/04/2014 - 15:21 | 4925122 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Lets hope thats all they bring.

I had so many smallpox vaccinations over the years, could I still have

immunity, Miffed ?

I know officially it was erradicated,then it broke out again,and still does.

I don't believe anything Govt. says anymore.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 16:22 | 4925314 Raymond K Hessel
Raymond K Hessel's picture

I hope they bring the plague so we can finally close the borders with tanks, barbed wire, and attack dogs.

When will this Turning go full retard on us already!!

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 17:58 | 4925559 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Everything I have read seems to imply that immunity from the small pox vaccine should be very long lasting. They are predicting partial immunity to 75 years but I'm not sure how they determined that. Remember, this was a live virus vaccine that results in a better immune response though more dangerous to use. Unfortunately, as we age, our immune system wanes so even with partial immunity you could succumb to it. I guess you've got to die from something but what I've heard of small pox, that wouldn't be a pleasant way to go.

Or you could do as I did. In my virology class, I was inoculating eggs with an orthopox virus and accidentally stabbed myself with the needle. Got a skin lesion and a fever. My prof said I just probably got a booster for small pox. Mr miffed isn't so sure and claims it fried my brain and is mystified why I do the things I do. I guess being female just isn't a convincing or believable explanation.


Fri, 07/04/2014 - 19:30 | 4925707 CCanuck
CCanuck's picture

Little pricks everywhere eh miffed...anytime your ready to kick Mr.Miffed to the curb let me know, I would love to know a thinking woman such as yourself.....pricked and all.

Sat, 07/05/2014 - 01:01 | 4926078 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

I am flattered but I am afraid I am an angelfish and mate for life rather than do the serial monogamy thing. He certainly doesn't seem interested in sending me packing and has great joy in my presence so I must be doing something right.

I guess I am just a student of Marcus Aurelius and go through life inquisitive and curious about everything. I find men fascinating and enjoy understanding their perspective, something that doesn't seem appreciated today. Perhaps this is your attraction and I am saddened there doesn't seem to be too many women today that share this characteristic. I will hope you meet one in your future.

"This, what is it in itself, and by itself, according to its proper constitution? What is the substance of it? What is the matter, or proper use? What is the form, or efficient cause? What is it for in this world, and how long will it abide? Thus must thou examine all things that present themselves unto thee."


Fri, 07/04/2014 - 15:34 | 4925175 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

The good American people may celebrate July 4, 1776.


But they celebrate May 1, 1776...


The year '1776' on the reverse side of the one dollar bill underneath the pyramid may appear to pay homage to America's independence...but the Latin and all seeing eye, occult symbols, etc... indicate something totally different.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 16:03 | 4925257 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

So they started printing on dollar bills in 1776?  If only George Washington had known he could have tried using those instead of the worthless continentals.  I guess we learn something new everyday.

FWIW, it is too bad we have to learn the lesson of the worthless continental currency all over again, the hard way.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 16:04 | 4925263 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

It's orf.

Fri, 07/04/2014 - 19:12 | 4925678 Smiley
Smiley's picture

Just as you cannot make a nice city without attracting hordes of cockroaches, lice, and rats, neither can you create a discussion forum that produces interesting conversation and discourse without attracting the lost, pathetic, and attention starved dregs of the internet spamming away from mommy and daddy's basement:  Vermin are attracted to bright lights and activity.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!