Sunday (Un)Humor: Create Your Own Caliphate

Tyler Durden's picture

It's a good time to be in Iraq, if you're a crazed Muslim zealot bent on creating a caliphate, that is. As Mark Fiore explains in a format even the most iPad-addicted youf of today, Iraq is suddenly back on everyone's radar now that ISIS is taking over large chunks of that formerly-occupied nation. Here, in 120 seconds, is how they did it (and how you can too)... "now, sit back, relax, and enjoy a miserable theocratic existence..."


Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
takeaction's picture

Caliphate is a weird word...sounds like the lotion.  Honestly...I had to look it up, I have never heard that word before.  

john39's picture

ISIS= U.S./Israeli proxy merc army, with a pile of useful idiots thrown in for good measure.   the rest is "noise"...

BaBaBouy's picture

Can GWB Spell Caliphate ?????

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

This is very entertainment! Please, where is guide for annex Crimea!?

Manthong's picture

So the difference between “Obey” in ISIS land and “Obey” in the Federalized States of America is what?

omniversling's picture

ISIS inc = Washington based military contractor a la Blackwater/Xe/Academi...coinkidinky...



NoDebt's picture

"It puts the caliphate on it's skin or else it gets the hose again."

So Close's picture

That's ok.  They think the word, "selfie" is strange as well.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Over there a 'selfie' is when a member of the Caliphate shoots himself in the foot.

<If you don't know how to do so just watch Obama.>

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

 Honestly...I had to look it up, I have never heard that word before.  

Pat Buchanan uses the word at least once per three editorials.

MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

He is 150 year old political commentator who sounds like a douch-bag when he uses the word Caliphate.  

But compared to you he seems pretty smart.

Bioscale's picture

Man, I just don't fucking care about some commentator in your USA-land. I hope his opinion about FED and central banking is okay and not some statist bullshit.

BigJim's picture

For a 'Republican' Pat Buchanan is pretty sound when it comes to foreign policy - everything I've read of his suggests he's a non-interventionist.

Don't know where he is on the monetary system... probably hasn't looked into it, like 99.99% of the rest of the population.

omniversling's picture

Surprise yourself...

repost on Odod Yinon Plan:

Pat Buchanan is not someone I'd usually listen up to, but this article from 2003 made me sit up and reconsider his views. Very instructive, especially with hindsight now passing thru the prism of the 'surpRISE' of the ISIL/ISIS. PB names names and strategists:
Whose War?? A neoconservative clique seeks to ensnare our country in a series of wars that are not in America’s interest.?By PATRICK J. BUCHANAN • March 24, 2003
"Podhoretz credits Eliot Cohen with the phrase “World War IV.” Bush was shortly thereafter seen carrying about a gift copy of Cohen’s book that celebrates civilian mastery of the military in times of war, as exhibited by such leaders as Winston Churchill and David Ben Gurion.?A list of the Middle East regimes that Podhoretz, Bennett, Ledeen, Netanyahu, and the Wall Street Journal regard as targets for destruction thus includes Algeria, Libya, Egypt, Sudan, Lebanon, Syria, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Hezbollah, Hamas, the Palestinian Authority, and “militant Islam.”?Cui Bono? For whose benefit these endless wars in a region that holds nothing vital to America save oil, which the Arabs must sell us to survive? Who would benefit from a war of civilizations between the West and Islam??Answer: one nation, one leader, one party. Israel, Sharon, Likud."

atthelake's picture

If you watch a lot of Hollywood movies, like Mummy, the Arab boss who helps the hero is, sometimes, a caliphe, but you have to listen, carefully.

atthelake's picture

If you watch a lot of Hollywood movies, like Mummy, the Arab boss who helps the hero is, sometimes, a caliphe, but you have to listen, carefully.

Duffy's picture

What you really need is Saudi money, and American and Israeli weapons and intel.

LeisureSmith's picture

You forgot the proxy war oldescool crew, the British. If you have the staying power to watch the whole thing (41 min) I did, and found it interesting. To be taken with some salt for sure, but still, not way off this old cat.

Interview with one of AQ's founding members.

Duffy's picture

True.  The Auld Empire will always have its due.


Point being, ISIS has western intel backing all over it, and if you delve deep enough into the deep end of the net, the evidence looks better and better...

Oh regional Indian's picture




Word association....

palmereldritch's picture

Caliphate: An Arabic word meaning synthetic construct, not unlike Bolshevism, used to ostensibly represent local nationalistic uprisings but uncannily (like in its historical Russian predecessor form) only appearing to manifest in autonomous oil-rich areas where the ultimate goal is to produce resource scarcity (i.e petroleum/currency/inflation price support) courtesy of theatrical atavistic vandals and their petro-central-bank sponsors.

NoDebt's picture

Somewhere in here is an implied "the US must do something about this."

Did somebody say "Saudi Arabia"?  

Huh.  Coulda sworn I just heard somebody say that.  Must be my imagination.


TheReplacement's picture

In fact, the US MUST do something about this.  The US must stop manipulating and using proxies and other vile practices. 

Giving aid to a just cause is one thing.  Fomenting uncivil war in order to weaken a rival is unAmerican by definition.

That was American Exceptionalism - holding ourselves to a higher standard and doing the right thing, however infrequent that might be.

TeamDepends's picture

1)  Get the idiot white feminist/progressive American women to vote to cut their own throat.

Emergency Ward's picture

"Wha'?, Obama won the Peace Medal, there are no wars going on -- I don't see any wars."

TeamDepends's picture

Barry Obongodinga will be remembered as the enabler of radical islam.  HOPE you like the CHANGE, peasants!

Ignatius's picture

Iraq is "back on the radar" because that's where those who own media want it.

Bunga Bunga's picture

But works only if you have the plan in a 'Hello Kitty' notebook.

what&#039;s that smell's picture

>>It's a good time to be in Iraq, if you're a crazed Muslim zealot bent on creating a caliphate, that is.


It's a good time to be in Iraq if you're a crazed American Imperialist bent on destroying a nation again, that is.



buzzsaw99's picture

we had our shah of iraq moment now we get the fifty year ayatollah of rock and rollah. a word to the wise, take a look at how hosni and saddam (et al) were treated in the end before you kiss the usa pinky ring bitchez.

JimmyRainbow's picture

if you want your caliphate you can have your caliphat

just for the meme

Aussiekiwi's picture

That just never gets old, lol, and ' you didn't build that Caliphate by yourself'

Atomizer's picture

It's funny how we were indirectly taught foreign policy as innocent kids, unknowingly.

Neverland :

Knock out m. (If not on mobile phone) 



OC Sure's picture

Amazing that while Europe was in its first dark ages that Baghdad was a thriving business center and that the Persian mathematician, al-Khawarizmi, invented al-jabr, algebra. His name mutated into algorism, etc. ...Its been a long time since you rock and roll, Baghdad.

Duffy's picture

Well a hundred years ago they were chopping each other's heads off in the desert and wiping their asses with their hands and that's what they'll be doing in another 100 years.

Anusocracy's picture

Well, a hundred years ago in Europe they were killing 15 million dupes and wounding 20 million more.

And they learned NOTHING from that - except that they could get away with it.

Anusocracy's picture


I get tired of the ingroup outgroup propaganda.

Boondocker's picture

What makes you think anything has changed?

Dugald's picture


How insteresting, so just how to do you wipe your arse, or do you have a very long tongue...

Just asking...

OC Sure's picture

Good find. Looks interesting. I like that the first chapter starts with Åristotle. Åristotle's logic travels from Greece to Iraq and,Presto!, the golden age of arabic science. Then the big Å travels to Paris and Padua and, Presto!, the Renaissance. ...Too bad modern economics doesn't know about Åristotle's definition of money. :-/

Radical Marijuana's picture

That narrator's voice was disturbingly appropriate. The "fine print" warnings at the end were the most important points, but went past too fast to catch, as intended.

My basic view has become that the events on 9/11/2002 were inside job, false flag attacks, which were capitalized upon in order to cause what has actually happened since. I believe that there is a criminally insane plan at work, to deliberately make things get bad enough to be able to justify the use of weapons of mass destruction, in order to kill hundreds of millions of people living in various Islam dominated countries. The consequences which may go out of control, and then kill billions more, are a risk that the people who actually did 9/11 are willing and able to take. Therefore, the rapid warnings at the end of this terribly true video should have included those final consequences: "Create your own crazy Caliphate, in order to set yourself up to later be annihilated."

Andre's picture

They may be able to take the risk, but not survive it.

A lot of people talk about cave men being stupid. I'll say this, even the old tribal chieftains were smart enough to realize what could kill his people could kill him too. 18th century aristocrats, OTOH, had the same problems as today's crew - "consequences are for peasants."