The CIA Makes A Funny For Its 1 Month Twitter Anniversary

Tyler Durden's picture


You know it has become a farce when...




Remember: all password recovery requests should be sent to the NSA, not the CIA.

What may be less funny to explain is why the CIA was involved in the latest German - you know, the country that is America's biggest "ally" in Europe - spy scandal?

As Reuters reports,

The Central Intelligence Agency was involved in a spying operation against Germany that led to the alleged recruitment of a German intelligence official and has prompted renewed outrage in Berlin, two U.S. officials familiar with the matter said on Monday.


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Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:16 | 4933135 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

Apparently don't know where the ISIS leader is either.


Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:21 | 4933155 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Do you inside trade on your own false flags?

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:32 | 4933200 Stackers
Stackers's picture

You Lie !

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:43 | 4933212 Indian_Goldsmith
Indian_Goldsmith's picture

Hey CIA, is my hot girlfriend cheating on me?

Hey CIA, i suspect she is banging my midget puerto rican gardner, can you please confirm?

Hey CIA, I have placed a bet on the FIFA World Cup Finals, should I go all in?

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 18:22 | 4933360 CH1
CH1's picture

Fuck the CIA.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 18:28 | 4933384 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

We like to have fun here.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 19:20 | 4933565 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

No, he got it right the first time. 

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 02:38 | 4934543 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture



The CIA forgot the Moscow Rules:

Don't harrass the opposition.


It seems a bit late to try to be hip.


Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:38 | 4933221 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

There was certainly not a shit load of puts on United, American, Morgan Stanley in the weeks leading up to 9/11.

The SEC dropped the investigation for crying out loud! Would they do that if something was fishy? <sarc off>

Or maybe it was just because it wasn't the patsies front-running the Mossad fireworks show?

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 19:22 | 4933575 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Translation: the two poor bastards that got the job of doing social media for the CIA don't have your passwords.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:34 | 4933210 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

"No, we dont know your password.."

Please forward all requests to The Mossad, they wear the pants in our relationship.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 18:18 | 4933351 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

The CIA:  what a bunch of joshing, fun guys.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 18:30 | 4933396 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

... that murder people with our money.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 18:38 | 4933424 logicalman
logicalman's picture

They use your money to protect the poppy fields.

The take's WAY bigger.


Mon, 07/07/2014 - 19:23 | 4933569 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Just think about that. We'd all be stuck with that low quality skank Mexican black tar heroin if it wasn't for them. 

Did you see how blasted Travolta got in Pulp Fiction off that Choaka shit? That's your tax dollars at work for you. 

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 19:40 | 4933619 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

That is still using our money to murder people.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 18:04 | 4933306 tony wilson
tony wilson's picture

the bbc say isis is the biggest richest terror group in history worth billions.

dwarfing any other terror group known or unknown.

and yet this is all new to the cia,mossad,mi5 or 6 the pentagon and ministry of defense multi trillion dollar security infrastructure and everyone is scratching balding dandruff ridden heads.

ho hum

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 19:28 | 4933586 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Well, that's just more proof that to prevent that kind of surprise in the future, their going to have to engage in even deeper spying on Americans. 

Which means an Executive Order to have a biometric sensor shoved up our rectums. And to add insult to injury, we have to pay for it. Unless of course you quallfy for an Obamaphone in which case your ass sensor is free. 

Of course, we'll hear the usual propaganda on this, that's it's not an infringement on our iiberties.

You like your buttplug? Well, you can keep your butt plug!

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 18:16 | 4933342 Zadok
Zadok's picture

Well..."Apparently don't know where the ISIS leader is either."


Mon, 07/07/2014 - 18:52 | 4933470 Freddie
Freddie's picture

He is probably back at Langley geting more training on how to lie.

I like Edward Snowden but he never says a word about his old employer Al See Eye Aye duh.   It leads me to believe he is just a CIA op.  Leaking his material through Wash Post aka CIA front newspaper along with Red Shield Mi6 The Guardian.   Unless Snowden starts exposing what CIA does then I am not buying it.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 19:46 | 4933632 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Whether you are right or wrong, wasn't his primary objection what was and still is being done inside our borders?  What the CIA does to others is secondary to what the government does to us.  At least that is my opinion.  What do I care about the CIA when is is someone else stepping on my neck?  First I have to save myself before I can consider the others much less help them.


Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:19 | 4933140 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin&#039; Baltar's picture

I'm surprised they haven't broke out the good'ole tinfoil hat references on anyone who suspects them.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:24 | 4933144 sixsigma cygnus...
sixsigma cygnusatratus's picture

"No, we don’t know your password, so we can’t send it to you.

"...because we don't really need or use passwords for any of your accounts."

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:19 | 4933145 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

Sorry, we cannot reattach your head after the guillotine has done it's work.

                                     American citizen, not DC US subject.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:19 | 4933146 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Kleptocratic attempt at humor ? .... no, you are being taunted.


Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:22 | 4933162 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

It's a smart move. These tweets will be re tweeted and chain email forwarded by the liberal fag crowd and the fox news crowd. Just makes it easier for someone to wave off the snowden crowd and say "the cia are good guys, look at their tweets!"

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:45 | 4933248 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Not so much "good guys" as "wise guys."

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 18:57 | 4933492 Ariadne
Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:21 | 4933157 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture
New revelations shatter US government lies on illegal surveillance

By Thomas Gaist 
7 July 2014


The overwhelming majority of individuals who have had their emails and other private communications intercepted by the US National Security Agency (NSA) have not been singled out for surveillance as suspected terrorists, according to a report in Sunday’s Washington Post. This includes tens or perhaps hundreds of thousands of US citizens who were monitored without a warrant or any semblance of judicial oversight.

The report, based on documents provided by whistleblower Edward Snowden, concerns not just metadata, but the actual content of communications. The revelations expose the lies not only of US intelligence officials, but also President Barack Obama, who has repeatedly assured the public that the NSA is “not allowed” to access the content of communications, and that “Nobody is listening to your telephone calls.”

The Post analysis is based on a review of 160,000 emails and instant messages, more than 5,000 private photos, and 7,900 documents extracted from 11,000 Internet accounts by the NSA during surveillance operations lasting between 2009 and 2012. It is only one part of a vast dragnet of illegal spy programs run by the agency and its counterparts internationally.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:31 | 4933192 bbq on whitehou...
bbq on whitehouse lawn's picture

Have you ever even looked at your processes? Press Control+shift+Esc, and have a look. See any backend, bootstrap, or other programs running you might want to turn them off.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:40 | 4933233 Otto Zitte
Otto Zitte's picture

Get off Windows...

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:40 | 4933234 Otto Zitte
Otto Zitte's picture

Get off Windows...

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:47 | 4933252 bbq on whitehou...
bbq on whitehouse lawn's picture

Windows is fine if you dont mind getting your hands dirty. Besides it keeps you on your toes.
It lets you see the thinking behind the code.
Safety is an illusion, delusion. Be naked, be aware.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 18:07 | 4933314 Ariadne
Ariadne's picture

Windoze phone home! Windoze phone home!

Genuine Validation offering for 3rd parties including "Usage analytics for feedback and metering"

Can you say keystroke logger? I knew ya could...

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 05:13 | 4934629 StandardDeviant
StandardDeviant's picture

"See the thinking behind the code"?  Not sure I follow.

Why not go with Linux, then, where you can see the code itself?  (And change it, if you're not happy?)

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 18:19 | 4933348 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture


Mon, 07/07/2014 - 18:56 | 4933488 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Ed Snowden work(s)ed for the CIA then NSA but he never says anything bad or never leaks anything about CIA.

Funny how that works.  Who is he working for or still working for?

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:22 | 4933161 22winmag
22winmag's picture


Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:23 | 4933168 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

they can't send your password but if you continue to want your liberty, kiddy porn will show up on your hard drive...sorryfuckyousorry

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:25 | 4933172 homiegot
homiegot's picture

They must not have enough to do over there.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:33 | 4933175 socalbeach
socalbeach's picture

deleted. (don't want to be droned)

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:34 | 4933209 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture


Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:59 | 4933291 socalbeach
socalbeach's picture

NSA is in charge of password intercepts, CIA is in charge of the drone program.  Killing innocent people is worse than spying. Get it now?

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:27 | 4933177 stant
stant's picture

#wehaveoutsidecontractors. That do know

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:26 | 4933178 bbq on whitehou...
bbq on whitehouse lawn's picture

I wonder how funny it will be when the NSA takes over the CIA turf war or not CIA is going to lose that fight for funding.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:32 | 4933197 cougar_w
cougar_w's picture


Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:33 | 4933201 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

CIA: i am a moderate can i have some guns and money?

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:36 | 4933216 nmewn
nmewn's picture


Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:43 | 4933241 bbq on whitehou...
bbq on whitehouse lawn's picture

They let a bunch of people die in Iraq also. They dont care never did. The family bit is PR their is only money, power, control. If you have the latter you dont need the former.
I bet recruiting is stronger then ever too.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 18:14 | 4933331 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Been reading up on their handiwork in Guatemala back in 1954 off & on for the last couple of days...Operation PBSUCCESS. Its no wonder the commies called US politicians "imperialists".

What has happened to those people (dating back to Spanish conquest) is an absolute travesty.

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