ISIS' Latest And Most Ambitious Plan Yet: Invade Spain

Tyler Durden's picture


While Spain may have been scrambling for the past several years to figure out how to spin its economy, boasting one of the highest unemployment rates in the Eurozone, as recovering, coming up with numerous changes to what it believes should constitute GDP, most recently including an estimate of the contribution hookers and blow add to the economy, a surprising place which has emerged as a potential source of huge economic upside for Spain's economy is none other than the recently established Islamic State created by the ISIS al-Qaeda spin off. Because, stunningly, in a story right out of a history book covering the Islamic Conquest and subsequent Reconquista (however not in the middle ages but in the 21st century), the hardest-core Islamists around, those which even al-Qaeda deemed too "extremist", appears to have sworn to invade Spain next!

Just think of the epic GDP boost a new Christian-Muslim war fought on European soil would generate...

As RT reported over the weekend, a group of jihadists claiming to be part of ISIS have vowed to invade Spain along with all other “occupied lands” in a video posted on the web. The men say Spain is the land of their forefathers and that they are prepared to die for their nascent Islamic State.

The men say Spain is the land of their forefathers and that they are prepared to die for their nascent Islamic State.


The video of two men claiming to be militants from the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIS) has taken the Spanish media by storm. The minute-long footage shows them speaking in Spanish, and saying that ISIS will take over Spain.

“I tell you, Spain is the land of our forefathers, and, Allah willing, we are going to liberate it, with the might of Allah,” says one of the men. He adds that the group won’t stop at Spain and intends to spread its Islamic Caliphate across the world.

 “I say to the entire world as a warning: We are living under the Islamic banner, the Islamic Caliphate. We are going to die for it until we liberate all the occupied lands, from Jakarta to Andalusia,” he said.

The footage has not yet been independently verified, but it would not be the first video released by the group. Last month, ISIS released a propaganda video entitled: “There Is No Life Without Jihad” in which Australian and British members of the group appealed in English for Muslims across the world to join their cause.

“We have brothers from Bangladesh, from Iraq, from Cambodia, Australia and the UK,” says a militant called Abu Muthanna al-Yemeni, who himself comes from Britain, according to a video caption.

The full clip is below:

In other words, ISIS may or may not wage war on Spain next. The only question we have is whether Eurostat will add back the non-GAAP GDP benefits from such a war now, on a purely one-time, non-recurring pro forma basis, of course, or actually wait for war to break out. Judging by the circus European economic data has become, we would wager money on "now."

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Mon, 07/07/2014 - 14:02 | 4932221 Frostfan1
Frostfan1's picture

These guys at ISIS could say they're going to invade America and bring Kate Upton back and every news outlet would put them on the front page.  These guys are worse media whores than the Kardashians!

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 14:03 | 4932226 gh0atrider
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Mon, 07/07/2014 - 14:05 | 4932249 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Much easier to invade the USA via Mexico

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 14:10 | 4932283 max2205
max2205's picture

The all look like MLB players in the play offs trying to not jix themselves.


What's not to like

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 14:14 | 4932300 Manthong
Manthong's picture

At least they will have some pre-built homey spaces in Granada.

I wonder what they could re-fi the Alhambra for.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 14:18 | 4932331 Keyser
Keyser's picture

The Crusades 2.0, a Warner Bros production... 


Mon, 07/07/2014 - 14:19 | 4932342 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Well that didn't take long......  Is al-BagDaddy already dead, and if so who was in yesterday's video, Baghdad Bob?

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 14:31 | 4932421 knukles
knukles's picture

Don't worry, be happy.

Obie will let them help you in your diversity efforts.
Long live the Caliphate

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 14:51 | 4932521 Stackers
Stackers's picture

The Moors are coming ?

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 15:18 | 4932637 knukles
knukles's picture

When the going gets tough some people go golfing

Hah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah ah ah ah ah

I toldju people not to talk about Spain.  No I didn't mean the country, I meant the people coming in the country, the ones who speak Spanish FFS.
Nobody fucking listens to me.  I ran whole communities and still, nobody listens to me.  I even told Hansel not to let Gretel into that house in the sketchy part of town and look what happened?  She got baked into a fucking sugar cookie.  Listen to me!

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 15:24 | 4932670 BigJim
Mon, 07/07/2014 - 15:25 | 4932680 cifo
cifo's picture

Can't they just buy Spain?

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 15:39 | 4932759 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

The Reign in Spain is mainly in the pain...

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 16:01 | 4932854 knukles
knukles's picture

Do these guys have scabies?
Are they willing to ride in buses?
...lot to be considered...

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 18:36 | 4933302 Lore
Lore's picture

ISIS could use an image consultant:

Buyer's Guide For Choosing The Best Electric Shaver

And try some new music to lighten the mood, so maybe they won't look so damn miserable all the time:

Muppets - The Rainbow Connection

The name "ISIS" is too western-pseudo-occult.  "US" is taken.  "ISis-Ra-El" is taken.  What about the more inclusive (and with historical antecedent) "IS TOO?" 

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 19:08 | 4933527 Hugh G Rection
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How do you change the name of links? I'm tired of posting www.longassfuckingurl

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 19:49 | 4933634 Siniverisyys
Siniverisyys's picture

Just a thought... I wonder if the same hand that feeds ISIS is paying them to stir the pot. Western countries are in desperate need of a boogey-man. 

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 22:17 | 4934128 nmewn
nmewn's picture

The term "Western" is a matter of standing in one spot and declaring something to be western, isn't it?

But Putin would nev...oh, never mind ;-)

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 03:01 | 4934563 All Risk No Reward
All Risk No Reward's picture

Emmanuel Goldstein in the flesh...

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 00:33 | 4934409 Lore
Lore's picture

ISIS has CIA written all over it. = Al CIAda Spinoff.

ISIS EXPOSED 100% AS CIA OPERATION: "The Next Bin Laden is Here" - Don't Be Fooled (c/o YouTube, 15 min)

@ Hugh: 

* Allow ZH to create pop-up windows in your browser.

* Start drafting a new comment.  At this point, you should see "Disable rich-text" immediately below the draft text box. (Leave that alone. Rich Text = Good.)

* Type the name of your hyperlink (e.g., "click here").

* Use mouse to highlight that name, and while the text is still highlighted AND your pointer is still hovering inside the border of the draft post textbox,

* Left-click on the little button on the draft post toolbar that looks like little chain links ("Insert / Edit Link"). A pop-up window will open.

* Paste the URL in the appropriate field in the pop-up window and click INSERT when finished. The pop-up window will disappear.

SAVE (submit) your finished post, and the link should appear the way you want. Try some practice posts with different named links. We've all been there. Regards

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 22:58 | 4934232 leftcoastfool
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Hugh- Check out Cheers...

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 15:47 | 4932795 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

Weapons and Drugs don't mix (well)...

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 16:59 | 4933070 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

There are tens of thousands of Mexican cartel members who vehemently disagree with your statement.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 22:46 | 4934200 Lanka
Lanka's picture

Did you forget Vietnam?

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 15:28 | 4932707 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Whats next, they are going to siege Vienna again?

Luckily, from reading history, I know how the story ends.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 15:44 | 4932781 DanDaley
DanDaley's picture

The Mohammedans have always maintained that they OWN Spain, and that they are in a temporary, irredentist (there's a fancy word for ya) position of not being in possession of's theirs and they want it back. This is not a surprise.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 16:33 | 4932965 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

Hey, they already have invaded Spain! As you'll see if you visit Seville, Barcelona or Cadiz. The most common "Christian" name in Spain last year was Mohammed.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:11 | 4933099 DanDaley
DanDaley's picture

When I was in Barcelona back in '92, they were marching for their rights...I can just imagine the reconquista de España is progressing apace.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 19:58 | 4933656 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

I'm of Scandi blood and I want the Danelaw, Ireland, Iceland, Greenland, Vineland, Gotland, and the entire east all the way down to Kiev back.  Oh and Normandy too.  I also want 48,000 pounds of gold and silver.  I promise I will never, ever, in the history of the world raid your shores again.  Until next year.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:03 | 4933078 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

El Andalusz is no news, the new caliphate to be born out of former France and equally ethnically fucked up enough to go to no go zones.

Compromising the territory of all of former western Germany
beyond the Rhine, possibly till the Danube because Austria
is all but exhausted of worthy inhabitants that would teach invaders a lesson.

Poles to the rescue. Well, spell that myth again for a bunch of real cowards again and their is ancient struggles to call
back on or real forces are called upon with. Beware the Wehrmacht, best of forces, best of creed, best of stunning losers...

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 22:34 | 4934165 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Oh ye of so little faith, trapped inside the comfort the vessel you built for yourself, it, being entrusted now to others wholly unworthy of you.

Will you now entrust them to give it and you to another?

This is the question ;-)

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 07:37 | 4934754 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Compromising the territory of all of former western Germany
beyond the Rhine, possibly till the Danube because Austria
is all but exhausted of worthy inhabitants that would teach invaders a lesson."

With history busy repeating itself, I'll be expecting Vlad the Impaler to publicly skewer a few hundred jihadis and hold one front.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:14 | 4933124 Bingo Hammer
Bingo Hammer's picture

You're right BigJim, where has it gone and why?

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:17 | 4933141 Anybody
Anybody's picture

BigJim - good catch. I also wonder why.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 00:22 | 4934401 conscious being
conscious being's picture

BigJim - Thanks for that.  Hit too close to home?

"Why Merkel is sooo silent - me thinks the NSA is blackmailing her (and likely most other gov. leaders too)"?

Check out the posting history of cifo who replied to you.  Two and a half years and five posts, all simple nothings.  The intent is to obscure your post and make a sub-thread based on your post difficult.

Anyways, Nice Job.  Thanks.





Mon, 07/07/2014 - 15:15 | 4932638 macholatte
macholatte's picture


Much easier to invade the USA via Mexico


USA already been invaded via the White House.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 15:15 | 4932639 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture

The Crusade for Moorish Dignity.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 15:24 | 4932672 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture


Mon, 07/07/2014 - 15:30 | 4932718 Pure Evil
Mon, 07/07/2014 - 15:34 | 4932738 HamRove
HamRove's picture


Thank you......pure evil?

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:45 | 4933249 Dugald
Dugald's picture

Now is that the New Hampshire Moors or the Oregan lot?

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 19:36 | 4933603 Chandos
Chandos's picture

Don't want tobe 'that guy' again, but I think the right term is «Moops»...


Edit: It would appear that I have been beaten at first cracking that little joke...Oh well!

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 14:21 | 4932346 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

I can picture Akbar and his camel singing, "I've got high hopes, I'veg ot high hopes......."

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 14:42 | 4932480 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Once there was a bad ISIS plant

Thought he’d fake a Baghdadi rant

Everyone knows a plant can’t fake a Baghdadi rant

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 15:08 | 4932597 TahoeBilly2012
TahoeBilly2012's picture

Invade Spain? Just walk in a take it, no one fucking cares anymore.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 15:37 | 4932755 barre-de-rire
barre-de-rire's picture

even better,  they should go france, as 40% of the country is already  niggers & fuckin arabians from maroc algeria & tunisia.



Mon, 07/07/2014 - 16:31 | 4932959 Eirik Magnus Larssen
Eirik Magnus Larssen's picture

I am open to some of the ideas and criticisms of Libertarianism, but comments such as yours sharply increase my suspicion that it's just another far-right, deeply racist fringe group.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 16:34 | 4932973 TahoeBilly2012
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Oh shutup Larssen and go row your long boat.

Mon, 07/07/2014 - 17:11 | 4933085 Eirik Magnus Larssen
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Let me explain something to you. Young "whites" such as myself increasingly marry with "non-whites" in today's age. In other words, not only are our spouses and in-law families not "white", our children typically aren't viewed as such by society either. As a result, a growing number of us are developing a personal stake at bettering the social mobility of non-whites. Or, at the very least, to protect them from the consequences of racism and discrimination.

I am all for criticism of an unhinged Wall Street and its cheerleaders in the financial media. That is how I found my way to this website in the first place. What I don't appreciate is the virulent neo-Nazi rethoric of some around here.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!