ISIS' Latest And Most Ambitious Plan Yet: Invade Spain

Tyler Durden's picture

While Spain may have been scrambling for the past several years to figure out how to spin its economy, boasting one of the highest unemployment rates in the Eurozone, as recovering, coming up with numerous changes to what it believes should constitute GDP, most recently including an estimate of the contribution hookers and blow add to the economy, a surprising place which has emerged as a potential source of huge economic upside for Spain's economy is none other than the recently established Islamic State created by the ISIS al-Qaeda spin off. Because, stunningly, in a story right out of a history book covering the Islamic Conquest and subsequent Reconquista (however not in the middle ages but in the 21st century), the hardest-core Islamists around, those which even al-Qaeda deemed too "extremist", appears to have sworn to invade Spain next!

Just think of the epic GDP boost a new Christian-Muslim war fought on European soil would generate...

As RT reported over the weekend, a group of jihadists claiming to be part of ISIS have vowed to invade Spain along with all other “occupied lands” in a video posted on the web. The men say Spain is the land of their forefathers and that they are prepared to die for their nascent Islamic State.

The men say Spain is the land of their forefathers and that they are prepared to die for their nascent Islamic State.


The video of two men claiming to be militants from the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIS) has taken the Spanish media by storm. The minute-long footage shows them speaking in Spanish, and saying that ISIS will take over Spain.

“I tell you, Spain is the land of our forefathers, and, Allah willing, we are going to liberate it, with the might of Allah,” says one of the men. He adds that the group won’t stop at Spain and intends to spread its Islamic Caliphate across the world.

 “I say to the entire world as a warning: We are living under the Islamic banner, the Islamic Caliphate. We are going to die for it until we liberate all the occupied lands, from Jakarta to Andalusia,” he said.

The footage has not yet been independently verified, but it would not be the first video released by the group. Last month, ISIS released a propaganda video entitled: “There Is No Life Without Jihad” in which Australian and British members of the group appealed in English for Muslims across the world to join their cause.

“We have brothers from Bangladesh, from Iraq, from Cambodia, Australia and the UK,” says a militant called Abu Muthanna al-Yemeni, who himself comes from Britain, according to a video caption.

The full clip is below:

In other words, ISIS may or may not wage war on Spain next. The only question we have is whether Eurostat will add back the non-GAAP GDP benefits from such a war now, on a purely one-time, non-recurring pro forma basis, of course, or actually wait for war to break out. Judging by the circus European economic data has become, we would wager money on "now."

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Frostfan1's picture

These guys at ISIS could say they're going to invade America and bring Kate Upton back and every news outlet would put them on the front page.  These guys are worse media whores than the Kardashians!

COSMOS's picture

Much easier to invade the USA via Mexico

max2205's picture

The all look like MLB players in the play offs trying to not jix themselves.


What's not to like

Manthong's picture

At least they will have some pre-built homey spaces in Granada.

I wonder what they could re-fi the Alhambra for.

Keyser's picture

The Crusades 2.0, a Warner Bros production... 


TeamDepends's picture

Well that didn't take long......  Is al-BagDaddy already dead, and if so who was in yesterday's video, Baghdad Bob?

knukles's picture

Don't worry, be happy.

Obie will let them help you in your diversity efforts.
Long live the Caliphate

Stackers's picture

The Moors are coming ?

knukles's picture

When the going gets tough some people go golfing

Hah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah ah ah ah ah

I toldju people not to talk about Spain.  No I didn't mean the country, I meant the people coming in the country, the ones who speak Spanish FFS.
Nobody fucking listens to me.  I ran whole communities and still, nobody listens to me.  I even told Hansel not to let Gretel into that house in the sketchy part of town and look what happened?  She got baked into a fucking sugar cookie.  Listen to me!

cifo's picture

Can't they just buy Spain?

Bollixed's picture

The Reign in Spain is mainly in the pain...

knukles's picture

Do these guys have scabies?
Are they willing to ride in buses?
...lot to be considered...

Lore's picture

ISIS could use an image consultant:

Buyer's Guide For Choosing The Best Electric Shaver

And try some new music to lighten the mood, so maybe they won't look so damn miserable all the time:

Muppets - The Rainbow Connection

The name "ISIS" is too western-pseudo-occult.  "US" is taken.  "ISis-Ra-El" is taken.  What about the more inclusive (and with historical antecedent) "IS TOO?" 

Hugh G Rection's picture

How do you change the name of links? I'm tired of posting www.longassfuckingurl

Siniverisyys's picture

Just a thought... I wonder if the same hand that feeds ISIS is paying them to stir the pot. Western countries are in desperate need of a boogey-man. 

nmewn's picture

The term "Western" is a matter of standing in one spot and declaring something to be western, isn't it?

But Putin would nev...oh, never mind ;-)

All Risk No Reward's picture

Emmanuel Goldstein in the flesh...

Lore's picture

ISIS has CIA written all over it. = Al CIAda Spinoff.

ISIS EXPOSED 100% AS CIA OPERATION: "The Next Bin Laden is Here" - Don't Be Fooled (c/o YouTube, 15 min)

@ Hugh: 

* Allow ZH to create pop-up windows in your browser.

* Start drafting a new comment.  At this point, you should see "Disable rich-text" immediately below the draft text box. (Leave that alone. Rich Text = Good.)

* Type the name of your hyperlink (e.g., "click here").

* Use mouse to highlight that name, and while the text is still highlighted AND your pointer is still hovering inside the border of the draft post textbox,

* Left-click on the little button on the draft post toolbar that looks like little chain links ("Insert / Edit Link"). A pop-up window will open.

* Paste the URL in the appropriate field in the pop-up window and click INSERT when finished. The pop-up window will disappear.

SAVE (submit) your finished post, and the link should appear the way you want. Try some practice posts with different named links. We've all been there. Regards

Mesquite's picture

Weapons and Drugs don't mix (well)...

e_goldstein's picture

There are tens of thousands of Mexican cartel members who vehemently disagree with your statement.

Lanka's picture

Did you forget Vietnam?

Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Whats next, they are going to siege Vienna again?

Luckily, from reading history, I know how the story ends.

DanDaley's picture

The Mohammedans have always maintained that they OWN Spain, and that they are in a temporary, irredentist (there's a fancy word for ya) position of not being in possession of's theirs and they want it back. This is not a surprise.

Monty Burns's picture

Hey, they already have invaded Spain! As you'll see if you visit Seville, Barcelona or Cadiz. The most common "Christian" name in Spain last year was Mohammed.

DanDaley's picture

When I was in Barcelona back in '92, they were marching for their rights...I can just imagine the reconquista de España is progressing apace.

TheReplacement's picture

I'm of Scandi blood and I want the Danelaw, Ireland, Iceland, Greenland, Vineland, Gotland, and the entire east all the way down to Kiev back.  Oh and Normandy too.  I also want 48,000 pounds of gold and silver.  I promise I will never, ever, in the history of the world raid your shores again.  Until next year.

TheGardener's picture

El Andalusz is no news, the new caliphate to be born out of former France and equally ethnically fucked up enough to go to no go zones.

Compromising the territory of all of former western Germany
beyond the Rhine, possibly till the Danube because Austria
is all but exhausted of worthy inhabitants that would teach invaders a lesson.

Poles to the rescue. Well, spell that myth again for a bunch of real cowards again and their is ancient struggles to call
back on or real forces are called upon with. Beware the Wehrmacht, best of forces, best of creed, best of stunning losers...

nmewn's picture

Oh ye of so little faith, trapped inside the comfort the vessel you built for yourself, it, being entrusted now to others wholly unworthy of you.

Will you now entrust them to give it and you to another?

This is the question ;-)

mjcOH1's picture

"Compromising the territory of all of former western Germany
beyond the Rhine, possibly till the Danube because Austria
is all but exhausted of worthy inhabitants that would teach invaders a lesson."

With history busy repeating itself, I'll be expecting Vlad the Impaler to publicly skewer a few hundred jihadis and hold one front.

Bingo Hammer's picture

You're right BigJim, where has it gone and why?

Anybody's picture

BigJim - good catch. I also wonder why.

conscious being's picture

BigJim - Thanks for that.  Hit too close to home?

"Why Merkel is sooo silent - me thinks the NSA is blackmailing her (and likely most other gov. leaders too)"?

Check out the posting history of cifo who replied to you.  Two and a half years and five posts, all simple nothings.  The intent is to obscure your post and make a sub-thread based on your post difficult.

Anyways, Nice Job.  Thanks.





macholatte's picture


Much easier to invade the USA via Mexico


USA already been invaded via the White House.

Ignatius's picture

The Crusade for Moorish Dignity.

Dugald's picture

Now is that the New Hampshire Moors or the Oregan lot?

Chandos's picture

Don't want tobe 'that guy' again, but I think the right term is «Moops»...


Edit: It would appear that I have been beaten at first cracking that little joke...Oh well!

Pladizow's picture

I can picture Akbar and his camel singing, "I've got high hopes, I'veg ot high hopes......."

Manthong's picture

Once there was a bad ISIS plant

Thought he’d fake a Baghdadi rant

Everyone knows a plant can’t fake a Baghdadi rant

TahoeBilly2012's picture

Invade Spain? Just walk in a take it, no one fucking cares anymore.

barre-de-rire's picture

even better,  they should go france, as 40% of the country is already  niggers & fuckin arabians from maroc algeria & tunisia.



neidermeyer's picture

France is next up... I have a cousin that is NYPD ,, he got bored back in the 80's and went on a trip to South Africa just to do ride-alongs with their PD and shoot up townships ... I know he'd be up for visiting Spain and shooting up some islamic sand n*ggers.

Harbanger's picture

Spain should skip the whole invasion part of history and the reconquista and move straight to the Spanish Inquisition.

ebear's picture

Hmmm.... I wasn't expecting that