The Immigration Scandal For Dummies

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Who could have seen this coming?

 

 

Source: Investors.com

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Tue, 07/08/2014 - 17:37 | 4937015 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Flying illegals from Texas to San Diego? Shit TJ is only 30 miles farther and Noglaes is well, just over the border?

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 17:41 | 4937033 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Cloward-Piven: overload the welfare system to bring about collapse!

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 17:43 | 4937037 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture

Can't happen fast enough. Unfortunately, it's going to be ugly.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 17:50 | 4937068 macholatte
macholatte's picture

and on a lighter note...

 

1.    You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor. 
You may be a Muslim 
  
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.  
     You may be a Muslim 
  
3. You have more wives than teeth.  
     You may be a Muslim 
  
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.  
     You may be a Muslim 
  
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.   
     You may be a Muslim 
  
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against. 
     You may be a Muslim 
  
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.   
     You may be a Muslim 
  
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.  
     You may be a Muslim 
  
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.   
     You may be a Muslim 
  
10. Your cousin is president of the United States .  
       You may be a Muslim 
  

 

--  Jeff Foxworthy

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 18:27 | 4937225 knukles
knukles's picture

Also by Foxworthy ....

If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
  If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
  If you MUST show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.   If the government wants to prevent stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines that hold more than ten rounds, but gives twenty F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.   If, in the nation’s largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not one 24-ounce soda, because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.   If an 80-year-old woman who is confined to a wheelchair or a three-year-old girl can be strip-searched by the TSA at the airport, but a woman in a burka or a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.   If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.   If a seven-year-old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is “cute” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.   If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government regulation and intrusion while not working is rewarded with Food Stamps, WIC checks, Medicaid benefits, subsidized housing, and free cell phones — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.   If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big-screen TV, while your neighbor buys iPhones, time shares, a wall-sized do-it-all plasma screen TV and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.   If being stripped of your Constitutional right to defend yourself makes you more “safe” according to the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.  
Tue, 07/08/2014 - 18:43 | 4937315 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

So true, so true, macholatte & knukles

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 18:49 | 4937340 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Amen, Bro.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 18:54 | 4937360 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Retards still watching TV, Hollywood's shit and bread and circuses.  Keep up the good work. You viewership supports your serfdom.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 18:26 | 4937227 AchtungAffen
AchtungAffen's picture

1.- You think you're funny but you're a douche

You may be macholatte

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 19:15 | 4937446 Keyser
Keyser's picture

You don't see many Buddhists running around with suicide vests, do you? 

 

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 19:18 | 4937459 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Or Hindus or Baptists ;-)

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 19:57 | 4937594 AchtungAffen
AchtungAffen's picture

Don't know if suicide vests, but Hindus have been quite assholy sometimes with muslims, going on a rampage on their neighborhoods killing as many as they can. There are also the Maoists militias (which I'm not sure if they're Hindu or Buddhist or both) which are considered "terrorists" in India. And Baptists... well, I'm sure there are enough examples of them doing assholy things too, which wouldn't pale in comparison to anything you ascribe to Muslims. 

In the end, people of all religious walks of life have done similar shit. Or you're actually that naïve to believe only Muslims do them?

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 20:41 | 4937761 Transformer
Transformer's picture

Speaking of Baptists....

You know why Baptists don't have sex standing up?

Because someone might see them and think they were dancing!

 

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 21:22 | 4937908 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"Don't know if suicide vests, but Hindus have been quite assholy sometimes with muslims, going on a rampage on their neighborhoods killing as many as they can."

And who or what provoked them?

"There are also the Maoists militias (which I'm not sure if they're Hindu or Buddhist or both) which are considered "terrorists" in India."

All statists think they are surrounded by "terrorists" because they are.

"And Baptists... well, I'm sure there are enough examples of them doing assholy things too, which wouldn't pale in comparison to anything you ascribe to Muslims."

Cite for me the last time a Baptist or Hindu or Buddhist walked onto a bus or into pizza parlor or disco etc. and suicided him/herself taking out as many "unbelieving" innocents as possible in the process, including their own.

"Or you're actually that naïve to believe only Muslims do them?"

Hardly...but Muslim families seem to be raising their own to perfect their own version of suicidal/homicidal insanity and rejoicing in it, while the others don't.

There is something deeply distrurbing about a family raising a child to be a walking bomb taking out everything around him (even risking the family itself) wouldn't you agree?

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 22:46 | 4938238 AchtungAffen
AchtungAffen's picture

"And who or what provoked them?"

It's called ethnic tensions. It wasn't evil muslims going after hindus or nothing. There's been ethnic tensions in India since its inception.

"Cite for me the last time a Baptist or Hindu or Buddhist walked onto a bus or into pizza parlor or disco etc. and suicided him/herself taking out as many "unbelieving" innocents as possible in the process, including their own."

Oh, but there are other ways to mass murder than that.

"Hardly...but Muslim families seem to be raising their own to perfect their own version of suicidal/homicidal insanity and rejoicing in it, while the others don't."

Really? And where did you get that piece of info I guess...

I also wonder what would you think of a family raising their children to hate a certain specific ethnic group or religions at the same time teaching them the use of weaponry. I know a many of those and none are Muslim.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 23:20 | 4938346 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Maoists, Mao, China, communists, atheists. 

Buddhists and Baptists... please do research then come back and expound upon your notion.  I'm particularly interested in public crucifixions, beheadings, and mass executions of thousands of prisoners of war.  Although, strapping bombs to unwilling participants so they go kill someone or their family dies stories are good also.  Those stories will be gripping I am sure.

In today's world the primary movers in the pain and death game are indeed Muslims and atheists.  You won't find any actual believing Christians (to believe is to practice - if you don't practice you don't really believe so therefore you are not) in high level positions in the NSA, CIA, DHS, FedRes, IRS, mafia, Chicago government, or any of the plethora of criminal organizations in this country.  They are either mobsters, fascists, or communists - extremely successful criminals.

You are naive to believe nobody here sees right through you.

 

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 19:55 | 4937580 AchtungAffen
AchtungAffen's picture

I've known of a few that burnt themselves, if it's about suicide. If it's about armed conflict, there are also "Buddhist brigades", although don't know how much similar in their assymetrical warfare are they with those you seek to describe.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 07:18 | 4938742 o2sd
o2sd's picture

Well, to be fair, you don't really see anyone running around with a suicide vest. That is kind of the point. If you did, you could shoot them dead before they detonate. People who are recruited for suicide bombings usually have two choices in life

1) Die - of hunger, malnutrition, disease

2) Die - and take care of your family by getting paid to be a suicide bomber.

Most suicide bombers are recruited in refugee camps or slums.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 09:10 | 4939054 esum
esum's picture

keyser....You don't see many Buddhists running around with suicide vests, do you? 

 of course not ... they use gasoline to self immolate

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 18:32 | 4937260 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

Foxworthy's shtick was about the Taliban not specifically muslims...

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 18:51 | 4937349 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

You guys are getting offended by Jeff Foxworthy?

If you're offended by a hack comedian with a small and shrinking fanbase which has always only ever been a small fraction of society other than a brief moment in time when everyone obviously lost their mind and he was popular, you might need to turn off the television and go make something of your life.

I am Chumbawamba.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 19:43 | 4937532 nailgunnin4you
nailgunnin4you's picture

If you're offended by a hack comedian with a small and shrinking fanbase 

 

If the excerpts posted are truly his then how does he even have a fanbase? No problem with the racism here, race is a fine subject for comedy, just the complete lack of humor. I guess the guy found his niche, embittered conservatard white cunts with a smalldick inferiority complex. I guess that makes his fanbase solely american.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 13:44 | 4940235 Zerozen
Zerozen's picture

So what you're saying is his lack of humor offends you because his jokes are too serious? What's the matter, can't handle the truthiness?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 23:51 | 4942197 nailgunnin4you
nailgunnin4you's picture

So what you're saying is his lack of humor offends you because his jokes are too serious? What's the matter, can't handle the truthiness?

I never said I was offended, you ASSumed it. There is also nothing serious about his subject matter, it is as light as the difference between a white man walk and a black man walk joke not used since the 1980s. It's truly embarrassing that you think of this wannabe republican as some Bill Hicks-like sage, grow up.
Tue, 07/08/2014 - 18:36 | 4937281 nmewn
nmewn's picture

"You know, they said we needed to triple the border patrol. Well, now they're going to say we need to quadruple the border patrol," said the president. "Or they'll want a higher fence. Maybe they'll need a moat. Maybe they'll want alligators in the moat. They'll never be satisfied." - Obama May 10 2011

What does it say about a border that even a child can cross Barry?

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 18:45 | 4937325 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Because the D-Team is going to need these "UDVs" *

 

 

 

* Undocumented Democrat Voters

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 19:05 | 4937398 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Starting to look that way.

So where are we at here, the Blue Team jumps up & down about a voter producing an ID to vote is really just "voter suppression", yet people who have ID were suppressed by the Blue Team's IRS.

Blue Team rants & raves about gun deaths, yet Blue Team ran guns to Mexico with the expectation they would turn up at murder/crime scenes to prove a need for gun control here...and aside from BrianTerry...as far as I know ALL those deaths were of people south of the border.

Now, they're using children as a means to an end.

They have no conscience.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 19:12 | 4937436 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Indeed.  Cloward-Piven.  Hate America First.  And whatever else escapes me now.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 19:24 | 4937481 nmewn
nmewn's picture

There is another element involved in this, different industries/corporations want cheap labor, even as they refuse to give raises to their own long time workers, while increasing their own salaries and bonuses at the top.

Its the perfect storm, I don't think they understand what they are unleashing, blinded by their own greed & power lust.

Should be quite a show ;-)

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 20:02 | 4937611 Lost Word
Lost Word's picture

The Elite will be inside their crisis bunkers,

protected by DHS mercenaries,

or at distant hidden private safety retreats,

while the destruction of the USA proceeds

according to the NWO plan.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 22:15 | 4938143 nmewn
nmewn's picture

My comment went into the ether, very interesting.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 22:06 | 4938115 Siniverisyys
Siniverisyys's picture

Exactly!! Immigration and foreign workers programs have two major functions: keep wages low (high labour supply), keep asset prices high (more market participants.)

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 18:50 | 4937348 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Its says we are a loving and caring nation full of fucking idiots.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 19:58 | 4937599 nailgunnin4you
nailgunnin4you's picture

What does it say about a border that even a child can cross Barry?

Uhh, that it is a really fucking big border? I thought you were anarchist bruh, what do you care about borders? Only having found zerohedge three or so months ago, I'm still working out the collective political zeitgeist of all yall. I get the feeling that the anti-government sentiment that I do enjoy here would dissipate to a large extent if a republican was put in office. Not even sure why this pic was posted in zerohedge, seems off-topic. Just my 2 satoshis.
Tue, 07/08/2014 - 20:12 | 4937656 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Remember to leave your doors unlocked tonight, and if someone wanders in and makes camp in you living room, just remember, only a hating racist would utter a disparaging word.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 20:37 | 4937747 Lost Word
Lost Word's picture

Send ALL the illegal immigrants to live in Washington DC,

thousands of illegals could camp at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 17:47 | 4937047 10mm
10mm's picture

Overload what's left of the rotting system AND kill the dollar in tandem.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 18:12 | 4937142 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Decades ago some VIP Germans fled to Brasil.

Now, after the 7:1 WC loss, Brasilian VIPs will flee to Germany.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 17:51 | 4937072 Pooper Popper
Pooper Popper's picture

We the People need Our Military to go to Washington and ,

   TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS!

Step up Generals,fulfill your Oathes!

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 17:53 | 4937080 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

You mean the one's planning a second career in Big-MIC?

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 17:55 | 4937085 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

They're too busy getting paid by Momma Gov.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 18:56 | 4937368 Freddie
Freddie's picture

They are cowards.  The US Military sold out the US people and they regularly sell out the soldiers.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 20:05 | 4937625 Lost Word
Lost Word's picture

The US Military that orchestrated and conducted the 9-11 attacks

producing an attempt at World War?

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 17:38 | 4937016 capitallosses
capitallosses's picture

The free shit army at work.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 17:39 | 4937021 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Can you say FULL RETARD?

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 18:46 | 4937334 BlackChicken
BlackChicken's picture

Really it's all about getting more people here to borrow more money into existence (and fast), to keep the biggest broad day theft in history going.

Our financial system is a complete fraud, if only 10% of our citizens knew how it functions we might have a chance.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 17:40 | 4937025 lemonobrien
lemonobrien's picture

more slaves needed.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 17:40 | 4937028 Rainman
Rainman's picture

' I'll have them wetbacks voting Democrat for the next 200 years ' ..... what LBJ woulda said.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 17:51 | 4937071 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Don't think so.

Lyndon would say Chilli Bellies.

Tue, 07/08/2014 - 17:53 | 4937076 Charles Wilson
Charles Wilson's picture

"I'll have them wetbacks voting Democrat for the next 200 years " ..... what LBJ woulda said.

 

Ummm... what LBJ DID say makes "Wetbacks" a kinder, gentler, form of euphemism.

 

Mebbe the LBJ Ranch could put up a few more...Americans to help the Cause?

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