Fact Or Fiction: Environmental Study Finds Air In Chicago Now 75% Bullets

Tyler Durden's picture

Fact or Fiction

Highlighting increasingly dangerous conditions within the city, a new study published Monday by Northwestern University’s Department of Environmental Studies revealed that approximately 75 percent of the air in Chicago is now composed of bullets.

“Far exceeding the levels of carbon dioxide, nitrogen, and even oxygen, bullets now constitute three-fourths of Chicago’s air supply,” said atmospheric scientist and study coauthor John Molina, stressing that the dense and widespread deposits of jacketed lead and copper in the air pose severe and potentially fatal health risks to all Chicago residents.

“According to our measurements, the proportion of bullets in Chicago’s overall air composition is significantly higher than that of other cities with comparable sizes and population densities. Frankly, if this trend continues—and there is unfortunately little evidence suggesting otherwise—living safely within the confines of Chicago will be almost impossible.”

Molina went on to suggest that Chicago’s 2.7 million residents stay indoors whenever possible in order to minimize their exposure.


Source: The Onion

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cossack55's picture

Why, it IS much cleaner now (or soon anyway).  I'm guessin' 9mm oxygen.

Manthong's picture

Mayor Rahm Emmanuel: “Chicago’s violence problem is largely a gun problem”

Clueless..  if he could wave a magic wand and eliminate all guns, those products of four generations of HIS socialism and government thievery would be hacking each other to bits with machetes, hunting knives and kitchen cutlery.

kaiserhoff's picture

75% bullets?

Quite true, but alas, only in my dreams, and those of all other decent Illini.

BlackChicken's picture

Rahm is an idiot; if only he would allow decent people to have guns things might be more fair for the innocent/defenseless

PrintemDano's picture

Rahm is NOT an idiot, he doesn't give a shit about the innocent and defenseless citizens of Chiraq.  He wants Obama and Holders homies keeping the good citizens in fear....that goes for the entire nation.

CH1's picture

Chicago's murder rate is WAY down from the 90s.

That just doesn't make headlines.

Buckaroo Banzai's picture

That's great news for time travelers from 20 years ago. Problem is, relative to the rest of the country, it's still a violent shithole.

Pool Shark's picture



Actually, if you're measuring by mass rather than volume, I'll bet that 75% figure is pretty close to reality...

 [P.S.: Guns don't kill people,... it's those darn bullets...]

Oldwood's picture

So its fucking Chicago that is keeping the ammo prices so high!

BlackChicken's picture

Yes he IS, and looks gay.

The comment was to equate him backing up the criminals; there are tons of laws on the books there, criminals don't give a shit about laws.

We need to focus getting people to realize having a concealed carry reduces crime and makes the criminal think twice.

PrintemDano's picture

 Only an Idiot could believe gun laws will keep the innocent safe from criminals.  He doesn't believe that for a second.  Ergo he is not an idiot.  He's evil, and quite gay.

kchrisc's picture

It is a problem of descendants of chained-immigrants who were resold into chains in the late 60s in exchange for a share of the lucre stolen, directly and via ‘laws,’ from others.


As for guns: "Guns don't kill people, mostly people in uniform do."



Rahm is a total fucktard. All of the heavy handed best in the country gun laws didn't do Jack Shit to tamp down lawless violent behavior. 

The one noteworthy shooter had 21 prior criminal convictions for fuck sakes.

He should have been taken out, or locked up for life at least 18 convictions ago. 

Chicago's violence problem is a don't punish the criminals problem.

Leave them out there to fuck up the lives of ordinary people to justify the law enforcement machine.

New story line.

Move Rahm and the homeys to a desert island out in the Pacific 

Actually, let all the worst of the homeys move in with Rahm. Same thievery, different M.O's.

Rahm could rehabilitate all of them to become politicians and crooked cops.

And, They All Lived Happily Ever After. 

Until they killed each other off.

Problem solved.  

kchrisc's picture

"Rahm is a total fucktard. All of the heavy handed best in the country gun laws didn't do Jack Shit to tamp down lawless violent behavior."

Gun-centralization laws have nothing to do with "protection" or "public safety." They are all about taking the people's "ultimate vote" away.

Pols and crats are never stupid, as they are executing their orders.


"My guillotine prefers blades over guns."

localspaced's picture

With gun control the population is still going to be poor, frustrated and hating each other. 

If you put guns in the hands of 'decent' citizens, they'll eventually trickle down to the street so that's not an answer either. 

Gun control is simply increasing or decreasing the amount of guns on the streets. Its not going to do anything about racism, joblessness and drug addiction...which seem to me the real issues at hand here. Really sad to see even the mayor can no longer apparently admit as much and turns his own town's tragedy out for a quick political win...

The failure of american politics in a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen. Its no grand conspiracy, just what happens when you let incompetent fools run (leaders will be corrupt, they can at least be competent) your shit.  

max2205's picture

That's why Chicago has a once nice lake....to dump you name it into


The other thing that pisses me off - One drugged out ADD kid kills some other kids in a gun free zone school - media firestorm. 

This shit storm of death and injury in the best anti gun law town lib tard example in the USA ?

Fucking crickets.  

It made page 2, bottom corner, minimal exposure.

Your fucking bias is showing, media shills for the Obomber, and his Rahm- ster.  

hedgeless_horseman's picture



I'd rather have a gun, know how to use it, and not need it, than need a gun, not know how to use it, and/or not have it.

When you are suddenly surrounded by violence and killing, it’s too late to train, your skills toolbox must already be in order.  You have to believe in what you can do and gloriously get it done, confidently, reactively, effectively. 




Citxmech's picture

Watch out for the old-timers.  Damn that guy is fast.  

(Although I'd bet most folks would be pulling from a side-saddle, rather than a competition shell holder - which would probably slow him down a little)  

I really need to shoot more. . .


hedgeless_horseman's picture



That first guy at 7 sec into the video is operating a Saiga-12.  Pros and cons.

Pool Shark's picture



Agreed, but the Saiga-12 is great for home defense.

Though I prefer to spend my time perfecting my 1911 & M-4 shooting; since those are the weapons I'm most likely to be carrying at any given time...


Peak Finance's picture

I LOVE my Saiga, but it's a toy, fun on the range and stuff but it jams much too easily. Even after some gunsmithing if you leave the shells in the mag too long, they deform at a un-even rate and jam when fed.

You need to leave the mags empty and then load right before use.

This fact makes the Saiga COMPLETELY USELESS for home defence.

HOWEVER, I did see some fancy new shells that are all metal and should not deform, this may solve the problem but I don't know for sure have not tested it. If the springs are really strong in the mag they may deform even the metal shells.



Pool Shark's picture



I've not really had trouble with this; once I got the gas port adjusted properly. Also; what type of mags are you using? I love my 10-round AGP mags - made in the USA.

Citxmech's picture

Yikes!  $2600.00 for a gas kit w/o the gun?!  =o


Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Did he short-stroke that second shot in the string at the end of the video?

hedgeless_horseman's picture



Hard to tell because he is so darn fast, and because he teaches that in a gunfight, with a pump, the immediate action after "click" is always pump and fire...if another "click" then combat reload, if "bang" then pump, second sight, and scan.

esum's picture


gh0atrider's picture

global shooting?  Bullet change?

Colonel Klink's picture

Fuck the shithole of Chitcago, home of Rahm "never let a good crisis go to waste" Emanuel, Barrack "destroyer of America" Obama, and a whole host of other corrupt scumbags.  Sad to see any innocent people there suffer but you get what you vote for.

CheapBastard's picture
Fourth of July weekend toll: 82 shot, 14 of them fatally, in Chicago



Ness.'s picture

We need more gun ranges so we can teach them naggers to shot straight.  

kaiserhoff's picture

Unpossible.  Have you seen those idiots with their elbows up over their ears while they shoot?

Switch them to hand grenades.

earleflorida's picture

The commi, 'Saul Alinsky'... aka, community organizer would be proud!

I know... 'Hope and Change', and a healthy dose of, 'It Takes a Village' are happy?

max2205's picture

Fiction Alex....damn....what is Fiction Alex

Agent P's picture

They need to drop the AR-15 image from the Chi-Raq logo....more like a Glock....held sideways. 

Manthong's picture

Or maybe just a pot metal .22 held upside down.

stant's picture

Then why isn't everyone in Iraq dead from just breathing

supersajin's picture

Writing for the Onion is becoming more & more difficult every day!!

ImReady's picture

Best site for Chicago shooting stats:


Plenty of chart porn. My personal favorite is the #shotinthejunkometer

mt paul's picture

what SPF is recommended 

for 75% bullet atmosphere protection ....

2bit Hoarder's picture

I'm a big fan of spf .308 myself ...

ElixirMixer's picture

I only saw one shooting this weekend in Chicago. The guy missed his intended target (a black sedan with heavily-tinted windows driving right in front of me), but did manage shatter a window at the Chipotle across the street. Economic stimulus in action.

I'm only disappointed I didn't go through with buying a dashcam. It would have made a great addition to LiveLeak. 

Coletrane's picture

gee.....you think all that GUN CONTROL would have cleared that up by now.....






lasvegaspersona's picture

Hey Rahm...come on out to the range with me and some of the guys....