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Fact Or Fiction: Environmental Study Finds Air In Chicago Now 75% Bullets

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Fact or Fiction

Highlighting increasingly dangerous conditions within the city, a new study published Monday by Northwestern University’s Department of Environmental Studies revealed that approximately 75 percent of the air in Chicago is now composed of bullets.

“Far exceeding the levels of carbon dioxide, nitrogen, and even oxygen, bullets now constitute three-fourths of Chicago’s air supply,” said atmospheric scientist and study coauthor John Molina, stressing that the dense and widespread deposits of jacketed lead and copper in the air pose severe and potentially fatal health risks to all Chicago residents.

“According to our measurements, the proportion of bullets in Chicago’s overall air composition is significantly higher than that of other cities with comparable sizes and population densities. Frankly, if this trend continues—and there is unfortunately little evidence suggesting otherwise—living safely within the confines of Chicago will be almost impossible.”

Molina went on to suggest that Chicago’s 2.7 million residents stay indoors whenever possible in order to minimize their exposure.


Source: The Onion


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Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:05 | 4940958 cossack55
cossack55's picture

Why, it IS much cleaner now (or soon anyway).  I'm guessin' 9mm oxygen.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:18 | 4940988 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Mayor Rahm Emmanuel: “Chicago’s violence problem is largely a gun problem”

Clueless..  if he could wave a magic wand and eliminate all guns, those products of four generations of HIS socialism and government thievery would be hacking each other to bits with machetes, hunting knives and kitchen cutlery.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:22 | 4940990 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

75% bullets?

Quite true, but alas, only in my dreams, and those of all other decent Illini.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:22 | 4941002 BlackChicken
BlackChicken's picture

Rahm is an idiot; if only he would allow decent people to have guns things might be more fair for the innocent/defenseless

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:28 | 4941014 PrintemDano
PrintemDano's picture

Rahm is NOT an idiot, he doesn't give a shit about the innocent and defenseless citizens of Chiraq.  He wants Obama and Holders homies keeping the good citizens in fear....that goes for the entire nation.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:31 | 4941021 CH1
CH1's picture

Chicago's murder rate is WAY down from the 90s.

That just doesn't make headlines.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:34 | 4941044 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

That's great news for time travelers from 20 years ago. Problem is, relative to the rest of the country, it's still a violent shithole.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:47 | 4941081 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



Actually, if you're measuring by mass rather than volume, I'll bet that 75% figure is pretty close to reality...

 [P.S.: Guns don't kill people,... it's those darn bullets...]

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:47 | 4941082 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

So its fucking Chicago that is keeping the ammo prices so high!

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 19:38 | 4941389 TheEndIsNear
TheEndIsNear's picture

Especially on the Onion.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:34 | 4941036 BlackChicken
BlackChicken's picture

Yes he IS, and looks gay.

The comment was to equate him backing up the criminals; there are tons of laws on the books there, criminals don't give a shit about laws.

We need to focus getting people to realize having a concealed carry reduces crime and makes the criminal think twice.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:46 | 4941083 PrintemDano
PrintemDano's picture

 Only an Idiot could believe gun laws will keep the innocent safe from criminals.  He doesn't believe that for a second.  Ergo he is not an idiot.  He's evil, and quite gay.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 18:27 | 4941192 Thirtyseven
Thirtyseven's picture

I don't know about gay, but Rahm is certainly a dual citizen.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 21:30 | 4941725 paddyirishman
paddyirishman's picture

Rahm is a jew, enough said.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:30 | 4941019 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

It is a problem of descendants of chained-immigrants who were resold into chains in the late 60s in exchange for a share of the lucre stolen, directly and via ‘laws,’ from others.


As for guns: "Guns don't kill people, mostly people in uniform do."

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 18:01 | 4941137 SILVERGEDDON

Rahm is a total fucktard. All of the heavy handed best in the country gun laws didn't do Jack Shit to tamp down lawless violent behavior. 

The one noteworthy shooter had 21 prior criminal convictions for fuck sakes.

He should have been taken out, or locked up for life at least 18 convictions ago. 

Chicago's violence problem is a don't punish the criminals problem.

Leave them out there to fuck up the lives of ordinary people to justify the law enforcement machine.

New story line.

Move Rahm and the homeys to a desert island out in the Pacific 

Actually, let all the worst of the homeys move in with Rahm. Same thievery, different M.O's.

Rahm could rehabilitate all of them to become politicians and crooked cops.

And, They All Lived Happily Ever After. 

Until they killed each other off.

Problem solved.  

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 19:42 | 4941413 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

"Rahm is a total fucktard. All of the heavy handed best in the country gun laws didn't do Jack Shit to tamp down lawless violent behavior."

Gun-centralization laws have nothing to do with "protection" or "public safety." They are all about taking the people's "ultimate vote" away.

Pols and crats are never stupid, as they are executing their orders.


"My guillotine prefers blades over guns."

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 00:37 | 4942276 localspaced
localspaced's picture

With gun control the population is still going to be poor, frustrated and hating each other. 

If you put guns in the hands of 'decent' citizens, they'll eventually trickle down to the street so that's not an answer either. 

Gun control is simply increasing or decreasing the amount of guns on the streets. Its not going to do anything about racism, joblessness and drug addiction...which seem to me the real issues at hand here. Really sad to see even the mayor can no longer apparently admit as much and turns his own town's tragedy out for a quick political win...

The failure of american politics in a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen. Its no grand conspiracy, just what happens when you let incompetent fools run (leaders will be corrupt, they can at least be competent) your shit.  

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:19 | 4940991 max2205
max2205's picture

That's why Chicago has a once nice dump you name it into

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 18:09 | 4941158 SILVERGEDDON

The other thing that pisses me off - One drugged out ADD kid kills some other kids in a gun free zone school - media firestorm. 

This shit storm of death and injury in the best anti gun law town lib tard example in the USA ?

Fucking crickets.  

It made page 2, bottom corner, minimal exposure.

Your fucking bias is showing, media shills for the Obomber, and his Rahm- ster.  

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:16 | 4940959 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



I'd rather have a gun, know how to use it, and not need it, than need a gun, not know how to use it, and/or not have it.

When you are suddenly surrounded by violence and killing, it’s too late to train, your skills toolbox must already be in order.  You have to believe in what you can do and gloriously get it done, confidently, reactively, effectively.


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:24 | 4941006 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

Watch out for the old-timers.  Damn that guy is fast.  

(Although I'd bet most folks would be pulling from a side-saddle, rather than a competition shell holder - which would probably slow him down a little)  

I really need to shoot more. . .


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:57 | 4941113 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



Too much work. Just get one of these:


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:59 | 4941127 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



That first guy at 7 sec into the video is operating a Saiga-12.  Pros and cons.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 18:07 | 4941150 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



Agreed, but the Saiga-12 is great for home defense.

Though I prefer to spend my time perfecting my 1911 & M-4 shooting; since those are the weapons I'm most likely to be carrying at any given time...


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 22:19 | 4941899 Peak Finance
Peak Finance's picture

I LOVE my Saiga, but it's a toy, fun on the range and stuff but it jams much too easily. Even after some gunsmithing if you leave the shells in the mag too long, they deform at a un-even rate and jam when fed.

You need to leave the mags empty and then load right before use.

This fact makes the Saiga COMPLETELY USELESS for home defence.

HOWEVER, I did see some fancy new shells that are all metal and should not deform, this may solve the problem but I don't know for sure have not tested it. If the springs are really strong in the mag they may deform even the metal shells.



Thu, 07/10/2014 - 00:13 | 4942232 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



I've not really had trouble with this; once I got the gas port adjusted properly. Also; what type of mags are you using? I love my 10-round AGP mags - made in the USA.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 18:11 | 4941163 Citxmech
Citxmech's picture

Yikes!  $2600.00 for a gas kit w/o the gun?!  =o


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:42 | 4941070 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

Did he short-stroke that second shot in the string at the end of the video?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:56 | 4941085 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Hard to tell because he is so darn fast, and because he teaches that in a gunfight, with a pump, the immediate action after "click" is always pump and fire...if another "click" then combat reload, if "bang" then pump, second sight, and scan.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 09:14 | 4942847 esum
esum's picture


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:06 | 4940960 gh0atrider
gh0atrider's picture

global shooting?  Bullet change?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:06 | 4940963 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Fuck the shithole of Chitcago, home of Rahm "never let a good crisis go to waste" Emanuel, Barrack "destroyer of America" Obama, and a whole host of other corrupt scumbags.  Sad to see any innocent people there suffer but you get what you vote for.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:07 | 4940967 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture
Fourth of July weekend toll: 82 shot, 14 of them fatally, in Chicago

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:12 | 4940974 Ness.
Ness.'s picture

We need more gun ranges so we can teach them naggers to shot straight.  

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:21 | 4940997 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Unpossible.  Have you seen those idiots with their elbows up over their ears while they shoot?

Switch them to hand grenades.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:42 | 4941066 Cruel Aid
Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:12 | 4940978 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

The commi, 'Saul Alinsky'... aka, community organizer would be proud!

I know... 'Hope and Change', and a healthy dose of, 'It Takes a Village' are happy?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:13 | 4940980 brown_hornet
Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:20 | 4940994 max2205
max2205's picture

Fiction Alex....damn....what is Fiction Alex

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:21 | 4940998 Agent P
Agent P's picture

They need to drop the AR-15 image from the Chi-Raq logo....more like a Glock....held sideways. 

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:32 | 4941024 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Or maybe just a pot metal .22 held upside down.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:21 | 4940999 stant
stant's picture

Then why isn't everyone in Iraq dead from just breathing

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:23 | 4941000 supersajin
supersajin's picture

Writing for the Onion is becoming more & more difficult every day!!

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:27 | 4941011 ImReady
ImReady's picture

Best site for Chicago shooting stats:

Plenty of chart porn. My personal favorite is the #shotinthejunkometer

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:36 | 4941051 mt paul
mt paul's picture

what SPF is recommended 

for 75% bullet atmosphere protection ....

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 18:06 | 4941149 2bit Hoarder
2bit Hoarder's picture

I'm a big fan of spf .308 myself ...

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:37 | 4941053 ElixirMixer
ElixirMixer's picture

I only saw one shooting this weekend in Chicago. The guy missed his intended target (a black sedan with heavily-tinted windows driving right in front of me), but did manage shatter a window at the Chipotle across the street. Economic stimulus in action.

I'm only disappointed I didn't go through with buying a dashcam. It would have made a great addition to LiveLeak. 

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:41 | 4941065 Coletrane
Coletrane's picture think all that GUN CONTROL would have cleared that up by now.....






Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:51 | 4941091 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

Hey Rahm...come on out to the range with me and some of the guys....

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 18:02 | 4941126 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

If you want to change Chicago's outcome start at city hall and start electing and employing people who aren't modern day communists.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 18:28 | 4941191 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Does anyone here think that the crisis Chicago is currently experiencing is not the crisis the city leaders were hoping for? They are seeking the breakdown of social order everywhere. Nothing will make them happier than seeing people shooting each other in the streets. For normal citizens to be willing to surrender the last of their liberty, they must be made desperate, using the reality of violence combined with the propaganda of the press.

Aren't we afraid yet? Aren't we willing to surrender our weapons for the sake of our personal security? How far are we willing to force them to go? You know they don't really want to do this to us, but we are making them do it, for our own good. How else are we going to learn?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:59 | 4941129 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

What you have in Chicago are high concentrations of the two groups most likely to open fire on public streets and kill unarmed civilians - namely criminals and cops. Both of these groups multiply in numbers when you remove the balancing force of lawful gun carrying individuals.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 18:04 | 4941143 Sathington Willougby
Sathington Willougby's picture

Organizing the communitay in nice orderly rows of black boxes.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 18:21 | 4941177 joego1
joego1's picture

So next move is that EPA declares the place a toxic lead zone- turn in your guns and bullets.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 18:22 | 4941178 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin&#039; Baltar's picture

A little comforting to know boot-licking statists aren't that retarded... but I believe they're well on their way.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 18:57 | 4941260 Who was that ma...
Who was that masked man's picture

If you like the air in Chicago, you can keep the air in Chicago.


The study says that 75% of chicago air consists of bullets like that's a BAD thing.  Frankly, I have no problem with it so long as it stays in Chicago.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 20:21 | 4941540 QEsucks
QEsucks's picture

You've seen this before but it's apt.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 20:21 | 4941542 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

i live in chicago

when i breathe, i don't breathe in any bullets - just 100% air

not one bullet


if anyone does believe that the air in chicago is 75% bullets, i have an obamacare health plan to sell them

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 04:22 | 4942446 SeekingNuNormal
SeekingNuNormal's picture

that's funny man.  i used to live in chicago for over 10 years.  hands down worst big city I've ever lived in or been to, and I travel a fair amount.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 21:55 | 4941819 SolarSystem1932
SolarSystem1932's picture


Northwestern University’s Department of Environmental (NUDE)


Do I win a prize ?


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 22:00 | 4941834 SolarSystem1932
SolarSystem1932's picture

Ahhhh...the fonts confused my cool posting algorithm and misssed the S


Northwestern University’s Department of Environmental Studies (NUDES)


What ever.

Stock Ticker:  IMSC

Just do it.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 23:58 | 4942214 UselessEater
UselessEater's picture

NUDE Studies.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 22:44 | 4941994 deerhunter
deerhunter's picture

A woman was killed by gun on I -94 expressway and shut it down for 9 hours. Semis were turning around and going opposite direction to clear out of there. Don't see that every day! Inside out destruction

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 01:53 | 4942379 idontcare
idontcare's picture

What would the City of Chicago be without the valuable contributions of those well intentioned, misunderstood kids on the South Side?

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 06:56 | 4942534 kurt
kurt's picture

We Mission Accomplish all the time with bullets.

It shows that its working, like scrubbing bubbles.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!