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Undisputable Bubble Insanity: No Revenue, No Assets Company Up Over $1 Billion (+110%) Today On 57K Shares Traded

Tyler Durden's picture


Update 2: CYNK closed up 150%, at an all time high of $14.70, a market cap well over $4 billion. Clearly there is much untapped upside left for the company with no assets or revenues.

Update: Stock is now $14/share, implying a market cap for the revenue/asset-free compah of over $4 billion. This means it has a market cap higher than Dynegy, Federal Mogul, JetBlue or Buffalo Wild Wings.


Just 2 days ago we highlighted the best example of the exuberance awash the markets currently - CYNK Technology Corp, the social media development company that had a market capitalization in excess of $1 billion, which according to official filings,  had one employee, no website, no revenue, no product, and no assets. Fast forward 2 days - and some 57,000 shares traded (about 0.02% of its total shares outstanding) at around $10 and CYNK now has a market cap approaching $3 billion (and still no revenue, no product, and no assets)... Lord Overstone said it best. “No warning can save people determined to grow suddenly rich.”

CYNK is up 80% today... on 57,379 shares traded


Think we are exaggerating, here is the company's own description from its 10-K (yes mysteriously it does actually have public filings):

we have not yet commenced our full scale business operations and we have not yet realized any revenues.


We have minimal operating history upon which an evaluation of our future prospects can be made. Based upon current plans, we expect to incur operating losses in future periods as we incurred significant expenses associated with the initial startup of our business. Further, we cannot guarantee that we will be successful in realizing revenues or in achieving or sustaining positive cash flow at any time in the future. Any such failure could result in the possible closure of our busiess or force us to seek additional capital through loans or additional sales of our equity securities to continue business operations.

And its most recent "assets" from its Sept 30 10-Q. Alas, the 10-K filing was delayed...


And its "income statement"


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Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:02 | 4940555 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

there are no degrees of fake...this is just another symbol, no more fake than JPY or USD or SPX

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:05 | 4940574 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

And O-barry is the only employee..... CREAM bitchezzzz

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:08 | 4940580 knukles
knukles's picture

I thought he was majority shareholder?
Talk about "painting the tape"


sort of a Goldmanesque Chicken Futures account trading thingamajigglie

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:11 | 4940593 max2205
max2205's picture

Fundamental analysis is so 1970's

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:17 | 4940626 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Dot com 2.0.  Totally stupid. 


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:19 | 4940634 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

Dot com bubble and housing bubble at the same time now. Neither worked on their own, so it's probably wise to try both simultaneously.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:32 | 4940691 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I just want to know if any insiders are selling their shares.  I mean, if THE insider is selling his shares.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:37 | 4940703 Four chan
Four chan's picture

who has the balls to short a rocket to the moon?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:47 | 4940731 synergize
synergize's picture

Gotta love our algo friends!

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:50 | 4940741 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

How is it that a "company" like this can get approval to be listed on any stock exchange?  Do you just have to fill out a form on the back of a book of matches or what?  Honestly, I know nothing about how a company gets approval or whatever it needs to sell stock in itself if it's not really a company other than that it has a name. 

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:20 | 4940833 overexposed
overexposed's picture

All it takes is a lawyer (which undoubtedly accounts for the $25,000 in "professional" expenses contributing to their NOL).

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:45 | 4940895 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture



A question here: 

You think ZH is trolled by the manipulators of this market.  Their AI trading system reads the article and executes trades against the short traders.


Find some other no asset stock, write a similar article, see if there is an immediate response to the article.


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:53 | 4940927 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Fantastic idea. Tyler must conduct this experiment. For truth.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:45 | 4941012 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Interesting Bio.

MARLON L. SANCHEZ was elected as a member of of the Board of Directors on April 17, 2013. On April 18, 2013 he was appointed as Chief Executive Officer, President, Secretary, Chief Financial Officer and a director of Introbuzz, Inc. From 2002 to present, Mr. Sanchez has been a Partner in Sanchez Medical Services, which provides comprehensive medical services to the Southern California market. Mr. Sanchez's responsibilities include direct oversight of administrative operations. Sanchez Medical Services also has a division dedicated to the ever growing Medical Tourism Industry. Mr. Sanchez is the primary spokesperson for the Medical Tourism Industry council in Tijuana,Mexico. Mr. Sanchez is a graduate of San Diego State University with a degree in Business Administration Marketing. Mr. Sanchez has not held directorship during the past five years in any other publicly traded company.

However, there is no Medical Tourism Industry Council in Tijauna, Mexico and there is one Sanchez Medical Services in Chula Vista, Southern California, yet after a quick call, the numbers do not work and the former listed Dr. Sergio Quinones has never heard of Marlon Sanchez.
And CYNK Technology Corp's 2011 and 2012 auditor, Peter Messineo, CPA,  was sanctioned by the Public Company Accounting Oversight Board for "deficiencies identified in both of the audits reviewed included deficiencies of such significance that it appeared to the inspection team that the Firm, at the time it issued its audit report, had not obtained sufficient competent evidential matter to support its opinion on the issuer's financial statements."
Wed, 07/09/2014 - 19:03 | 4941277 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

Jordan Belfort is out of prison now...maybe his new movie and a fresh batch of killer 'ludes got him all fired up to create some new pump and dump schemes just for old times sake???

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 22:41 | 4941984 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

I take it the sponsors of ZH have shorted the mentioned stock, and are getting squeezed like a teddy bear. This is all a joke. Everything we know and learn serves the purpose of someone else. Our money is a joke. The dollar is getting replaced by bitcoin. Get some free at Bitcoin is the next joke. But it will be a joke for 50+ years. Let's all have a laugh.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 20:34 | 4941569 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

This company is a pump and dump and for it to shoot up in price that much on a 57,000 share trade is indefensable.  I think the computers on Wallstreet and the algo's are manipulating it all and this is one if not one of a few dogs that happened to fall into the algo by mistake when it shouldn't have.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 23:46 | 4942181 Bernankenstein
Bernankenstein's picture

and since computers don't go to jail, everyone gets away scott free! 

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:28 | 4940850 Da Yooper
Da Yooper's picture

Velllll ve didnt tink anyboody vould notice seeeeeeech


a sheckle here


a sheckle there


vho vould notice a vitlle company vith nothing


oy vey

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 22:42 | 4941989 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

Hmmmmmmmm. Ever learned what the Crusades were?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:29 | 4940852 JRobby
JRobby's picture

Approval!?!? We don't need no stinkin' approval. Vamanos!

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:50 | 4940739 BuddyEffed
BuddyEffed's picture

Would it make more sense if this could possibly be some back door funding/money laundering for something like the Contras or some Contra equivalents?  There is almost always some reason for levitation, whether understood by the general public or not.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:55 | 4940750 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I give you an up-arrow for two reasons:

1.  Insanity in it's raw form ALWAYS gets an up arrow from me.

2.  You mentioned the Contras, which is just freaking awesome given how long it's been since anyone even thought about that.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:00 | 4940775 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

They turned that whole thing into a great 80s video game. Up Up Down Down

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 19:16 | 4941333 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Can it be that the CIA Black Projects bought a substantial portion of the of the stock at the beginning?


Go Zapata Oil.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 07:42 | 4942635 SylphGlitch
SylphGlitch's picture

Lol, spent too many hours playing that.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane...

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 19:37 | 4941403 BuddyEffed
BuddyEffed's picture

The Contra funding source was circuitous and not obvious to the casual observers.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:57 | 4940763 MiguelitoRaton
MiguelitoRaton's picture

I certainly hope this stock doesn't cynk (prn: sink).

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:55 | 4941101 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Hmm. I thought it was pronounced "cynic".

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 22:44 | 4941996 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

sounds like an old username, until too many others latched onto it.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 21:33 | 4941736 HardAssets
HardAssets's picture

Four chan:  "who has the balls to short a rocket to the moon?"


Hell, they'll probably come up with some way to turn the VIX negative.

The bastards.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:02 | 4940948 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

Nonsense, the answer is simply more.  "Asset" class doesn't matter, its all insanity all the time, details are moot..

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:39 | 4940717 Max Cynical
Max Cynical's picture

Balance sheets are overrated.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:02 | 4940953 Pee Wee
Pee Wee's picture

FASB 157 was overrated.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:42 | 4940883 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Jimmy boy ass clown alert. 

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 21:25 | 4941706 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

This doesn't even rise to the level of fundamentals.  This is obviously a joke company spun way out of control.

A few dorks are sitting aound talking about coding blah-blah.  One of them jokes that he should start a company that basically does nothing and admits it, take it public, and see what happens.  Everyone else jumps in agreeing it would be hilarious.  Someone reports on it and viola, publicity.  Fools rush in.  Dork gets rich.

That or someone at ZH did this, wrote the story, and is making out with a supermodel tonight.

It had to be a joke (yeah, I really am trying to convince myself).

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:17 | 4940597 SamAdams
SamAdams's picture

A shell company.  1/2 billion authorized and 1/2 of that issued.  Expect more to be issued at the elevated stock price with only a form 4? being issued after the fact. Probably incorporated in NV.  SEC won't do anything about it.

Also, looks like they may have already reverse split between 2012 and 2013.  Typical scam normally associated with penny stocks. 

I wonder if there was any news today on "MarketWire".  MarketWire is the choice news outlet for scam stocks.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:35 | 4940700 max2205
max2205's picture

Tyler...missed the 15 top by 50% since post.

Now 13 and near bear market....bull bear bull bear all in 5 hours

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 22:45 | 4942003 bunzbunzbunz
bunzbunzbunz's picture

...this article was paid for. Either buy bears pissed it was going up. Or by bulls that know all publicity is good. Tylers don't give a shit.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:38 | 4940711 Four chan
Four chan's picture

and delotte and touche are the prime scam accountants.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:42 | 4940721 fiftybagger
fiftybagger's picture

Toilet and Douche

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:32 | 4940857 JRobby
JRobby's picture

Reliance on audited financials is an outdated concept. Accounting as it formerly existed - DONE.

You sign off on this filthy fraudulent crap or you go under.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:39 | 4940715 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

There is "integrity of the marketplace."

Allowing these scams to continue does put the blocking and tackling of the exchange itself at risk. Should be interesting to see if Ms White is ready to start going after these flop houses or not.

The dollar is getting killed today and as we know from 2001-2008 "that only makes the default that much worse."

I don't see a Civil War scenario either "where 25% of a population is wiped out for no good reason at all" thus providing support for idea of "said monies." Indeed the moral strength of peace proceeds apace...keeping American kids safe from what are clearly the problems of others.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:07 | 4940581 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:12 | 4940604 max2205
max2205's picture

Sell sell sell!

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:08 | 4940585 zuuma
zuuma's picture

If I hurry up and sell some of my gold, I can get in on the ground floor!!

This baby's goin' to the moon.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 21:28 | 4941715 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

The ironic thing is you might actually be more accurate than you think. Tulips!  Get yer hot fresh tulips ova heer! 

I love roses on my piano but still prefer tulips on my organ.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:09 | 4940586 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

I hear CYNK has a job ad for a NON-GAAP accounting expert.  That will be CYNK employee #2. 

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:30 | 4940664 Black Forest
Black Forest's picture

The ad's cost of $256 was booked under "Research and Development".

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:40 | 4940719 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

And he's based in actually that 200 pounds.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:15 | 4940616 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

Reminds me of Cybercash. I shorted the hell out of that stock and got burned. 

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:22 | 4940844 Zirpedge
Zirpedge's picture

Hello handsome. You are very photogenic.

RE: Stock valuations, I don't think fundamentals matter. Just grab a hold of this rocket and enjoy the ride.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:34 | 4940865 JRobby
JRobby's picture

You look exactly like your mother.


From behind

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:43 | 4940888 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Turn around and let me see if I recognize you from prison.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:15 | 4940617 Dig Deeper1
Dig Deeper1's picture







Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:59 | 4940943 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

I can't even BEGIN to imagine how much coke and how many hookers......ahem.....R&D.....can be bought with 3 billion in free money.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:26 | 4941008 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

I presume we can pronounce the ticker as SINK which would probably be far more appropriate at some stage in the future....

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 20:30 | 4941529 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

there are no degrees of fake...this is just another symbol, no more fake than JPY or USD or SPX


PlusTic...You are the one who gets it. Fake is fake...COUNTERFEIT.


Then you get downarrowed for getting it. Can you believe the downarrows on your post? Fucking ONE HALF OF THE ZH Community is so fuckin' deluded to think that the USD is fuckin' real? LMAO.


We have a lot of work to do.


How many here are so deluded to think that the USD or JPY is fucking real and has fucking real value?


Backed by Debt and a promise to pay debt with more debt. Yeah...That has fuckin' value...NOT.


Well downarrow this because it is not going to change the truth.



Thu, 07/10/2014 - 01:41 | 4942367 G-R-U-N-T
G-R-U-N-T's picture

Hey, but it's the 'idea' of a real wealth producing company that matters, at least that's the imaginative story investors tell themselves.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:03 | 4940557 pods
pods's picture

Yep, we've gone plaid.


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:08 | 4940584 GooseShtepping Moron
GooseShtepping Moron's picture

We can't stop, it's too dangerous. We have to slow down first.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:46 | 4940641 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

What comes after plaid? Because you take that and what comes after is where we are now.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:34 | 4940697 Debt-Penitent
Debt-Penitent's picture

Up-tick for the Spaceballs reference.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:56 | 4940759 earnulf
earnulf's picture

Amazing what a can of liquid schwartz will do!

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:48 | 4940910 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

So I hear people are buying up homes in Florida with cash made through the stock market, what happens when the bubble pops and margin call?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:43 | 4941071 booboo
booboo's picture

stocks are not an asset until they are converted to after tax cash and even then...well cash is not an asset until it is converted to something that cannot be swept out of your bank account. Where to hide? where to hide? Such a pickle they have created.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 20:12 | 4941510 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Well I thought that Gold and Silver were safe. But I did not factor in the chances of boating accidents.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 23:00 | 4942048 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



Boating accidents Shmoating accidents


Stack and Sail



Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:03 | 4940558 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

For his(?) sake, I hope that one employee is a skilled lawyer...

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:09 | 4940589 overexposed
overexposed's picture

This certainly qualifies as a case study of what "An Interesting SEC Investigation" would look like... were the SEC not busy watching pr0n 24/7.

If this isn't a sure-fire sign to move all of your holdings to cash, I don't know what is.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:02 | 4940559 RockRiver
RockRiver's picture


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:08 | 4940564 overexposed
overexposed's picture

New Normal FTW!

Edit: Holy cow it's over $12 post-Zero Hedge.  Somewhere, Bill Ackman is crying his eyes out over this.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:05 | 4940570 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

At least with a have a flower. 

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:47 | 4940632 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Or with a whore you have two lips.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:05 | 4940571 thataintnothin
thataintnothin's picture

What's the problem?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:58 | 4940939 markovchainey
markovchainey's picture

Exactly! What *is* the problem? It's a very cromulent business model:

Step 1: Collect underpants.
Step 2: ?
Step 3: Profit!

Minus the underpants and profit of course.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 20:08 | 4941500 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

To da Moon.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:05 | 4940573 hustler etiquette
hustler etiquette's picture

That one employee is the smartest individual living

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:24 | 4940630 BeerMe
BeerMe's picture

Just awesome.  The name and description nail everything.  CYNK "Technology" Corp, "social media" development company.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:36 | 4940704 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

Social media development = selling 'Likes' on Failbook.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 20:07 | 4941493 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Social Media Development???


Janet Yellen's Printing Press. Fiat Currency is a Social Media.


That is what all in this country hold as a common value...the almighty fuckin' US Dollar.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:46 | 4940905 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Meet the next treasury secretary.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:06 | 4940576 yogibear
yogibear's picture

No stopping the Federal Reserve and Wall Street goosing until it does. It makes look legit.

All fantasyland now.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 20:23 | 4941544 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

All fantasyland now.


It has been that way since 1913.


The Currency Bubble is about to pop.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:07 | 4940578 Ludwig Von
Ludwig Von's picture

At least they are fair... . :-)

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:07 | 4940579 economessed
economessed's picture

Rumor is that AOL is looking at them -- could see a major lift from here. 


......wait a minute!  Why is my 9600 baud modem not connecting?    When did 1998 end?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:10 | 4940591 i_call_you_my_base
i_call_you_my_base's picture

They are going to make data CDs of your social media posts and send them out through the mail.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:53 | 4940746 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

First class postal mail is the only thing the FEDGov can't tear open and read carte blanche without warrants. They may be onto something here.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:47 | 4940903 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

True, but you're severly limited by weight on how much you can send First Class.

No plastic vaginas and penis pumps for you!

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:50 | 4940920 Oldrepublic
Oldrepublic's picture

a photo of all us mail is made, front and back

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:38 | 4940714 Max Cynical
Max Cynical's picture

For immediate release: FaceBook (FB) today acquired CYNK "Technology" Corp for $20B in cash and stock...

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:57 | 4940764 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

That's the spirit!

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:08 | 4940582 long-shorty
long-shorty's picture

no borrow anywhere to be had, of course. "manipulation" is only a crime these days if it involves lowering the price of a security.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:08 | 4940583 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Penny stock that traded about once a month until recently.  This has Boiler Room written all over it.  Remember folks, if you're going to be in stocks, it's best to buy them vs. having them sold to you. 

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:11 | 4940596 knukles
knukles's picture

Sounds like (2 fingers tapping on arm, pulling earlobe 5 times) Jordan Belfort?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 17:05 | 4940962 Titus
Titus's picture

Low class version Stratton. Call center is set up in Cyprus and they use Belfort's script. If you haven't seen Boiler Room and want the full experience, get on their call list.

The script is one psychological, dirty fucking masterpiece.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:10 | 4940592 bluskyes
bluskyes's picture

on a volume of 65,000 shares.

This guy's getting ready for the movie rights to his story.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:12 | 4940605 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Still gotta sell the theme that some unkown guy can make it big (really really really fast) in this loony, rigged, world.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:17 | 4940629 bluskyes
bluskyes's picture

Both parties will use it as an example of how Amerika is the greatest country in the world, and how someone started from nothing, and made a billion dollar empire in only a few weeks.

Either that, or the owner will start selling get rich quick dvd's on late-night tv.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:50 | 4940736 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

The status quo tale must create impetii (unofficial plural of impetus) for new participants to dream big. Movie deal? Not farfetched, but unlikely. Zuckershmuck needed one to legitimize the farcebook in stone.

I also wouldn't be surprised if this stock is used for cash to change hands easily. Stocks in loonyland (planet Earth)  don't (re)present companies, valuations, and products, but rather means/channels for large cash transfers.

Can't tell the difference between this and a flash crash.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:11 | 4940595 bluskyes
bluskyes's picture

What's Cramer's take?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:12 | 4940603 knukles
knukles's picture

20% cash, unsequentially numbered older style 100's only

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:15 | 4940622 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

The new 100 is straight up monopoly money. They didn't hold back this time.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:44 | 4940725 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Check for residual white powdery substance off that paper whether real money or not. Might be able to scrape a few Benjamin's off this thing that way too.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:31 | 4940684 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture




Oooo,... well played sir!

[Golf Clap]


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:12 | 4940598 IANAE
IANAE's picture

seems an attentive regulatory type might want to look closer at this one...

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:11 | 4940599 tommylicious
tommylicious's picture

buy 'em!

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:11 | 4940602 ChargingHandle
ChargingHandle's picture

I am a one man company specializing in masturbation. I am more than happy to grow my marketcap to 1B and beyond and I throw a hell of a holiday party for investors. 

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:50 | 4940737 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Instead of masturbation you should try f#}%^ng. You"ll meet more people.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:13 | 4940606 Lmo Mutton
Lmo Mutton's picture

You did not create that.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:13 | 4940608 Protokletos
Protokletos's picture

LOL @ that b/s

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:13 | 4940610 p00k1e
p00k1e's picture

The Chicken and Waffle joint IPO idea is looking better and better.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:14 | 4940611 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

What do you expect from a company with head quarters in Las Vegas?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:15 | 4940618 Agent P
Agent P's picture


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:49 | 4940734 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

Might be tough titties?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:52 | 4940925 p00k1e
p00k1e's picture

"tough titties"

You should see some of the TTs on the $2.00 hookers up here in The D.

Worse than beef jerky slices…    

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:15 | 4940619 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

suits the times - fraud for everyone


reminds me of etoys - $60 stock, no revenue - when the NDX was over 5000



Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:16 | 4940620 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

That's some funny shit right there, I don't care who you are.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:17 | 4940627 swass
swass's picture

My kid has a lemonade stand.  I think it is fairly valued at $1B.  Unfortunately it is profitable, so I guess there goes my hopes.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:19 | 4940639 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

If it's profitable, you won't need financing, so the banks are out of the loop and will shun you.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:21 | 4940640 yogibear
yogibear's picture

"My kid has a lemonade stand."

Pick a catchy name and pitch it as a social media company.

IPO it!

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:28 | 4940674 BeerMe
BeerMe's picture

The Lemon Tree

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:20 | 4940644 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Your local po-po must be real nice, letting yer kid run a lemonade stand without a vendor's permit and all.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:19 | 4940636 yogibear
yogibear's picture

IPO any turd and the fund managers will buy. Too much money chasing stocks.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:20 | 4940642 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

tried to buy some, Arca only?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:22 | 4940646 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

This has to be some kind of scam, a shell company to launder money thru.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:26 | 4940668 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

I thinks it's modeled after the Steal underwear....?.....Profit idea. I wonder who is missing their underwear.


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 19:32 | 4941384 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

The foolish whom are holding CYNK.


To da moon...Who needs unnerware? Dey can't see da moon when dey are wearin' unnerware.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:22 | 4940648 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Pssst, this stock is SO valuable that I'm willing to sell you all you want and I'll even knock off 10% of the price, because it is SO valuable....

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:24 | 4940649 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    Bloomturd doesn't jump the shark anymore...They've graduated to jumping the backflipping megalodon.

  U.S. Stocks Rise as Optimism on Earnings Overshadows Fed - Bloomberg


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:25 | 4940656 Gilligan4Prez
Gilligan4Prez's picture


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:58 | 4940769 economessed
economessed's picture

We're all frogs in the pot now.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:25 | 4940659 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

I wonder what the intangible asset is that's worth $3,533?   I wonder if that could be collateralized?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 19:34 | 4941393 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Hopium pressed imaginarium.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:25 | 4940660 Frostfan1
Frostfan1's picture

The story is just too ridiculous.  I there's three guys in the Goldman trading room challenging each other to a one thousand share version of Russian roulette to see who if any of them get stuck with the last shares and just laughting at anyone else who gets in their way.  No matter the result, they're drinking shots and grabbing strippers at 430pm.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:30 | 4940683 overexposed
overexposed's picture


This has got to be EXACTLY what's going on here.  Too funny!

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:37 | 4940661 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Another gaslighting ingredient to fuck over investment trust. Keep bombing until the iron dome runs dry. 

Dear Israelis,

I wish you no harm. We are after your government figure heads, just like the USA. Very bad people holding the helm of power. Once the shit storm is cleaned up, you'll get along with your neighboring countries. Be patient. 

Sorry to hear they have you in bombing shelters, this is why your government officials need to go. 

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:26 | 4940667 Cow
Cow's picture


Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:27 | 4940669 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Why is this crazy when a guy who falls asleep at a baseball game is now suing for $10 million because he is caught on camera?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:09 | 4940804 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Why not? If he can get it he might as well. It's a pittance compared to what the bankers have stolen from future generations.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 19:39 | 4941406 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Principles before profits.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:28 | 4940676 Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

Who says they don't ring a bell at the top?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:28 | 4940678 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

there must be a government contract involved, is it a coincidence that they released Duke Cunningham out of jail today?

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:29 | 4940680 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

so is this guy rich now? 

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:32 | 4940692 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

More importantly, someone else is poorer.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:29 | 4940681 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

All stimulus is fungible...

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:31 | 4940685 GeorgeSilver
GeorgeSilver's picture

It's the American dream.   The smell of wet sheets in the morning.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:32 | 4940688 Cow
Cow's picture

Hey wait!  The music stopped.  There are some chairs missing

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 16:07 | 4940791 IndianaJohn
IndianaJohn's picture

Cow, -- I'm pleased to see a longhorn here. I'm 14 months now, and in pasture. My man feeds me a bucket of grain when I ask for one. There is plenty of sitting room here, but no chairs.

Wed, 07/09/2014 - 15:34 | 4940696 Quantum Nucleonics
Quantum Nucleonics's picture

It's up above $13.  That's over 100% gain for the day. $4 billion market cap.  F-ing insance.  Can't borrow to short and no options :-(.

Who are the morons buying this?  I've got some turds floating in my toilet I'd be willing to sell to them.

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