Amazing Gartman Does It Again: "We Are Going Back To Being “Pleasantly” Long "

Tyler Durden's picture

It has become clear that no price is too small to subsribe to Gartman's newsletter just to always, always, do the opposite of what is recommended.

From his July 10th letter to "clients"



following the release yesterday afternoon of the latest minutes from the FOMC which make it very clear that the Fed’s propensity to tighten monetary policy in the near future is near zero. We may have thought that the market was over-bought and due for a correction, but we are going back to being “pleasantly” long rather than market neutral for the Fed’s wind is at our back.


We are not quite as openly long of the market as we have been at times, but certainly we are considering being so given that we believe the Fed’s comments and we believe the Yellen Fed’s current philosophy.

In other news, sorry Tom Stolper: when it comes to reco fades you have now been officially eclipsed.

The new and undisputed all time champ:

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PlusTic's picture

One word...WOW!

Divided States of America's picture

This guy should be 'pleasantly' beheaded in front of the peasantry he's fucked, live on CNBShit.

saveUSsavers's picture

I'd PAY to see that ! Throw in Kernen, and double the price !

kliguy38's picture

Garman ... "Muppet Master" piece of dog shit

yogibear's picture

Pay-per-view would make millions. Include Bernanke, Greenspan and many involved in the Federal Reserve in their fraudulent/treasonous behavior.

DirkDiggler11's picture

Hell No, save Dennis Fartman !

The hell with the Death Crosses, Hindenburg Omens, Tarrot Cards, chicken bones and finally technical analysis, Fartman is freaking money !!!

Trade the opposite of his every call and you can't lose !

JJdog's picture

Trade this clueless clown in for an illegal mexican kid  at the border please.  I bet  you any more the Mexican kid knows more about finance than this clown. 

SoberOne's picture

Pure propaganda,  nothing more.

RockRiver's picture

This guy has to be doing the opposite of what he says....

Banker Buster's picture

Gartman, enjoy being a brainless Fed whore, worthless fuk.

rubiconsolutions's picture

The Fed's wind is at your back? 

That's akin to having your rapist breathe down your neck while he goes about his business of anally raping you. 

Jumbotron's picture


Dr. Engali's picture

What an idiot. The moment he panics out again is the time to BTFD.

buzzsaw99's picture

given that we believe the Fed’s comments...

what a maroon

Stoploss's picture

.     .


gdiamond22's picture

Greatest contrarian indicator of ALL TIME

Such a tool

fonzannoon's picture

Tyler would u put DB stock on death watch already. i heard a rumor they are being taken off the NYSE and being added to the GDX

Dr. Engali's picture

I find it curios that  he doesn't. We get articles on stock like CYNK yet nothing on the price collapse of DB.

disabledvet's picture

If Europe implodes Germany itself is in big trouble. These are all "interconnected" relationships and now that the idea of the EU has collapsed now comes the part where it in fact does.

Again I think there are names worth looking at here to buy...the folks who have blindly screaming at Joe Investor to buy have been absolutely obliterated by CNBC et al.

Having said that the energy boom remains intact inside the USA and indeed is expanding. There is a massive problem of law and order right now...and absolutely no one it seems who really cares about the massive violence that is now spiraling out of control inside the USA and inside Chicago in particular.

I think you're gonna get an annihilation politically come November as Sarah Palin and MSNBC all jump on the "STOP THE MADNESS!" bandwagon.

"A parting on the now a parting on the left."

Squid-puppets a-go-go's picture

i know man - last weekend chicago 85 firearm casualties - only 16 from police. And america yawns.

you dont even read that shit coming outta Iraq. Well, until last month that was

Jani's picture

Our old Canadian friend EKM predicted DB imploding "in a few months" at the beginning of the year -- Since he dissapeared / banished I miss him. I hope some of you guys that are smarter than me are making some money on the drop.

GrinandBearit's picture

Blithering IDIOT.  Fantastic contrary indicator.  How is this guy still in business?

Dr. Engali's picture

Never underestimate the stupidity of the American public, or as P.T. Barnum, or David Hannum put it: "there's a sucker born every minute".

gmak's picture

Look at what he does, not what he says.  What exactly does it mean "we are going back to being pleasantly long"? Is he lying? Who announces what they are going to do where algos can then front run you at will?


Not a fan, but what he says is just more noise. Need more signal.

Squid-puppets a-go-go's picture

he means that he has a pleasantly long C--- up his arse

RiskyBidness's picture

He and Obama should hang out!!  Everytime they open their mouths.....the opposite happens.  Fuck off Gartman!!

LawsofPhysics's picture

Just confirming the top is in again Dennis?  Thanks.

moonstears's picture

I shoulda been in the financial newsletter business, like a weather man, you can be wrong and still get paid!

edit. weatherman or politician

Squid Viscous's picture

400 a month for priceless advice, where do I sign up?

dognamedabu's picture

Inquire here

and you'll soon be a believer just like Nigel Saperia of Glencore Commodities Ltd

"Simply the easiest way to get a snapshot view of what is happening in the world markets, and as a bonus, you make money if you follow the trading recommendations."




HamRove's picture

That wind at his back is the FED blowing a massive fart. 

Doesn't pass the smell test. 

buzzsaw99's picture

hey gartman, a short primer on fedspeak:

contained = not contained
stability = they want volatility
resilience = there is no market, there is only the fed
etc. etc.

no charge bozo


TheBoyPlunger's picture

He killed the AAPL rally when he pumped it on Monday afternoon's Fast Money episode.  When the "King of Commodities" starts schilling tech stocks you know the fun is about to begin.

Temporalist's picture

Apple?  I haven't heard the blather idiot talking heads pontificating on Apple saving the economy with their new phone/craplet/watch in about...

orangegeek's picture

fuck off and die gartman

Kreditanstalt's picture

Yes, yes...I KNOW he's a "trader".  But his clients may not be and next time his stuff goes zero-bid in an abbreviated market plunge they won't be happy, either...

Homunculus's picture

Who is crazy enough to subscribe to a newsletter from a guy who believes in the FED's comments?

I think he is the guy moving up the CYNK stock!

jcaz's picture

The dude is MONEY!   Thanks Denny!

Spungo's picture

He's undressing me with his eyes, but I'm not sure which eye.

Notsobadwlad's picture

It has woked for the past 20 years with only two brief interruptions. Why not?!

To create phantom wealth for the crony elitists and ensure retirement accounts have the money (if not the value) expected one does not need a printing press. All one needs is an inflatable asset or pseudo asset (stocks) and a buyer of last resort (the Fed). It is a very simple system... and the elitist cronies blindly and eagerly surrender their power and free will to those who multiply their fiats. Life is simple, no?

LawsofPhysics's picture

Correct, at least until the supply lines for essential commodities breaks...

then life gets really "simple" for the vast majority.

same as it ever was.

Atomizer's picture

We mock him. Hmmm, even a broken clock is right twice a day. 

Gartman is a side show comedy act. Just roll with the humor.