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Banker Suicides Return: JPMorgan Executive "Blasts Wife, Kills Self" With Shotgun

Tyler Durden's picture


With Russia and China having briefly taken over the hub of global executive suicides, the sad trend has returned back to America. In what appears to the 15th financial services executive suicide this year, yet another JPMorgan Director took his own life. As IBTimes reports, Jefferson Township (New Jersey) police report that the Global Network Operations Center Executive Director, "Julian Knott, age 45, shot his wife Alita Knott, age 47, multiple times and then took his own life with the same weapon." They are survived by 3 teenage children... 

As IB Times reports,

JP Morgan executive director Julian Knott blasted his wife Alita to death with a shotgun before turning the gun on himself.


The 45-year-old, who worked for the investment bank in London until July 2010, shot his 47-year-old wife multiple times before committing suicide with the same weapon.




Julian moved to the United States from London in 2010 and was working at JP Morgan's Global Network Operations Center in Whippany, New Jersey, at the time of the tragedy.




Jefferson Township police, in New Jersey, confirmed on Sunday they had found two unconscious bodies at the Knotts' large suburban home at 1.12am.


A statement released on Tuesday added: "Through an extensive investigation conducted by the Jefferson Township Police Department, the Morris County Prosecutors Office and the Morris County Medical Examiner's Office the preliminary investigation has revealed that the two adults died as a result of gunshot wounds and the incident has been determined to be a murder/suicide.


"This preliminary investigation revealed that Julian Knott, age 45, shot his wife Alita Knott, age 47, multiple times and then took his own life with the same weapon."


Photos of the couple painted a picture of a content family life. Beneath the 2012 photo of Julian carrying his wife on the beach, a friend commented, "Always acting like newlyweds."


College student daughter Kayleigh, who along with her two teenage brothers survive their parents, used social media site Instagram to pay tribute to her mum and dad.

"Although I am heartbroken that they will never see me graduate college, will never be there to see me get married or to be grandparents for my children, I can still have my inner peace knowing that they are now stress-free in a much better place," she wrote.

"You never know what life is going to throw at you, but it is all part of a plan that is bigger than us all."

"So hug your families a little tighter tonight and count every little blessing because you never know what tomorrow will bring. Life is so incredibly beautiful and I can't wait to see what the world has in store for me. Rest in Peace Mummy and Daddy, stay close," she added.

*  *  *

This is the 15th financial services exective death in recent months...

1 - William Broeksmit, 58-year-old former senior executive at Deutsche Bank AG, was found dead in his home after an apparent suicide in South Kensington in central London, on January 26th.

2 - Karl Slym, 51 year old Tata Motors managing director Karl Slym, was found dead on the fourth floor of the Shangri-La hotel in Bangkok on January 27th.

3 - Gabriel Magee, a 39-year-old JP Morgan employee, died after falling from the roof of the JP Morgan European headquarters in London on January 27th.

4 - Mike Dueker, 50-year-old chief economist of a US investment bank was found dead close to the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in Washington State.

5 - Richard Talley, the 57 year old founder of American Title Services in Centennial, Colorado, was found dead earlier this month after apparently shooting himself with a nail gun.

6 - Tim Dickenson, a U.K.-based communications director at Swiss Re AG, also died last month, however the circumstances surrounding his death are still unknown.

7 - Ryan Henry Crane, a 37 year old executive at JP Morgan died in an alleged suicide just a few weeks ago.  No details have been released about his death aside from this small obituary announcement at the Stamford Daily Voice.

8 - Li Junjie, 33-year-old banker in Hong Kong jumped from the JP Morgan HQ in Hong Kong this week.

9 - James Stuart Jr, Former National Bank of Commerce CEO, found dead in Scottsdale, Ariz., the morning of Feb. 19. A family spokesman did not say whatcaused the death

10 - Edmund (Eddie) Reilly, 47, a trader at Midtown’s Vertical Group, commited suicide by jumping in front of LIRR train

11 - Kenneth Bellando, 28, a trader at Levy Capital, formerly investment banking analyst at JPMorgan, jumped to his death from his 6th floor East Side apartment.

12 - Jan Peter Schmittmann, 57, the former CEO of Dutch bank ABN Amro found dead at home near Amsterdam with wife and daughter.

13 - Li Jianhua, 49, the director of China's Banking Regulatory Commission died of a sudden heart attack

14 - Lydia _____, 52 - jumped to her suicide from the 14th floor of Bred-Banque Populaire in Paris

15 - Julian Knott, 45 - killed wife and self with a shotgun in Jefferson Township, New Jersey


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Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:31 | 4943728 Platinum
Platinum's picture

Knott a good sign for this month.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:36 | 4943752 The Reich
The Reich's picture

why knott?

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:39 | 4943767 StacksOnStacks
StacksOnStacks's picture

Still knott enough.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:40 | 4943774 maskone909
maskone909's picture

what a waste of great legs.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:41 | 4943790 WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot
WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot's picture

"sad trend"? That's a typo right?

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:45 | 4943816 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

'lil Kayleigh: "my folks died. Life is so beautiful!"

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:50 | 4943848 gh0atrider
gh0atrider's picture

Fake Dad Mr. Lanza talking about how he wishes his fake son Adam Lanza was never born to orchestrate a fake shooting.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:53 | 4943870 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Another one bites the sand, and another one does and another one does...

When you are a banker sand is so much more chique than common man dust...

I still want Jaimie to blow himself up with a shotgun or nailgun is even better.  I hope the doc that does the surgery on him uses that surgical staple gun with exuberance.


Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:53 | 4943885 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Too bad about the wife and I truly feel sorry for the children. At least the bankster did the right thing and off'ed himself.  Let's hope his compadres follow his example.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:57 | 4943909 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

A man is stuck in traffic. He asks a police officer about the hold-up and he replies: "The head of the Bank Of England is so depressed about the economy he's stopped his car and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire. So we're taking up a collection for him." The man asks: "How much have you got so far?" The policeman replies: "About 40 gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning."

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:58 | 4943915 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

A London banker dies in poverty and so his local pub decides to raise funds for his funeral. One day a man walks into the pub and is asked to donate 20p for the fund. "What's it for?" he asks, and the landlord tells him. So he reaches into his pocket, hands him a £5 note and says, "Here, go and bury 25 of them."

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:58 | 4943919 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

'What's the difference between a dead cat on the motorway and a dead banker on the motorway? There are skidmarks around the cat."

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:00 | 4943932 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

Now that was fucking funny. 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:02 | 4943941 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

What's the difference between a dead bankster and a dead attorney?


Who cares!

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:20 | 4944035 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

tell me robbie parker is going to deliver the eulogy...

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:23 | 4944053 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

Their daughter sounds like a freak!  Either she killed them or daddy shoulda just killed her off and gone on with his life.  Seems obvious she surely doesn't care all that much for some reason.  *psycho*

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:49 | 4944156 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

her dad was a banker at JPM what do you expect? "Mummy and daddy?" WTF? 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:08 | 4944246 MeMadMax
MeMadMax's picture



There IS a name that keeps repeating in that list however: JP Morgan...



Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:26 | 4944331 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Somewhere "stress free"?  Honey, they're now EVERYTHING free.  They're gone.

What a DAMNED ODD goodbye comment.  And on Instagram?  This whole story has "ick factor" all over it, and I don't just mean the blood and guts.

These people ain't right.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:30 | 4944362 AgShaman
AgShaman's picture

Bankers raising detached psycopathic children?

Yeah, she'll be sportin' the iced latte at the funeral

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:51 | 4944423 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

'lil Kayleigh: "my folks died. Life is so beautiful!"


That means, "Yeah. Thanks Mummy and Daddy.  I cannot wait to get my hands on the inheritance. It is party time."


Wait until she finds out that there is not an inheritance and all that they left to the kids is a pile of unpayable debts...

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 16:12 | 4944780 BellyBrain
BellyBrain's picture

Still looks to me like pawns are being sacrificed to ensure they don't reveal the king's secrets.  For all we know he could have been a decent guy (for a banker) who happened to "know too much."  I think murder-suicide is FAR less likely than murder-murder by a pro hired to make it look like murder-suicide.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 16:35 | 4944849 tbone654
tbone654's picture

It does feel like there is an important piece of information missing here...  This one isn't over...  It just doesn't feel right...  And your words "less likely" are a good qualifier...  This will be in the Globe some day...

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 17:52 | 4945077 fwaynemartin
fwaynemartin's picture


Thu, 07/10/2014 - 16:17 | 4944809 Freddie
Freddie's picture

This is NJ - so the kids may owe money in their inheritance tax.  The famly bought the house about 2 months ago and it was sold to them for $600,000.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 16:29 | 4944832 J S Bach
J S Bach's picture

I've got a really big belt.  Keep the notches coming. (But keep the innocent family members out of the equation.)

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 15:56 | 4944713 johansen
johansen's picture

strange indeed because this means they raised their kids with no Biblical sense of Judgment aftwards. kill your wife and yourself and still go to heaven. now if we only had some guarantee of this.. or that. but, where is the fear of the unknown? at least some people at least try to die with a clean conscience.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 19:02 | 4945374 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Your state after death will be identical to your state before birth, it really isn't that hard

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 20:13 | 4945635 johansen
johansen's picture

heh, you're not that far off. this life is a test however, a few pass.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 20:45 | 4945759 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

On what evidence do you base this claim?

Maybe the test is to suppress your animal instinct to reproduce and only these people pass the test.

Maybe the test is to be compassionate and not harm any being that can sense pain or fear so only vegetarians pass the test.

Maybe the test is to shun all modern luxuries so only the Amish pass the test.

Maybe the test is gain the most power so only the dictators pass the test (Hey, who knows how the universe works, maybe warriors are being chosen).

Maybe the test is to avoid group think so all thesists fail the test (Maybe the universe is looking for free thinkers so bibles have been planted on the earth to test how well people can think critically).

Maybe the test is to uncover the truth of the universe via scientific pursuit so only scientists pass the test.

Maybe there is no test whatsoever.

It's an illusion johansen.

You cannot possibly know if there is a test and even if there was, what the test is, who the time keeper and adjudicator is.


Thu, 07/10/2014 - 21:46 | 4945954 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

You cannot possibly know if there is a test and even if there was, what the test is, who the time keeper and adjudicator is.


No. Perhaps it is "YOU [who] cannot possihbly know."


Why don't you ask Him to reveal Himself? Take that small step of faith and ask.


You may be shocked at just what you CAN possibly know.


Are you fearful of that?

Fri, 07/11/2014 - 00:34 | 4946313 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Fear doesn't come into it, fear is not even something I remotely consider.

How do I ask him to reveal himself to me? Do I recite the words in my head? Do I shout it from a rooftop? 

The thing is TT, I am being brutally honest. but I suspect theists are so wrapped up in the words of the bible that they've forgotten what it is to think freely and objectively. 

In what form does god reveal homself to you? If I am standing next to you and god reveals himself to you can I see him to? I'm not trying to be funny or insulting by the way, I'm trying to point out how our of use of language becomes so corrupted that it clouds the disussion. When you say reveal, I assume you don't mean in an optical sense, that is, such that you can physically see him?

Fri, 07/11/2014 - 01:56 | 4946398 johansen
johansen's picture

Yes, I have physically seen Jesus Christ. I know that's a very tall order but i will also say this, i have also seen many other things, some of which have happened, some of which i am waiting for, others have partly manifested in real life because i feared they would happen. that last part keeps me up at night.

when you talk about seening God, that part is so personal i don't even know how to describe it. if God manifests in a visual way, who am i to say that other ways are deception? this is the ultimate test. you have a longing for somethign more, but you withold because its too personal, too crazy, etc, etc.

Fri, 07/11/2014 - 02:29 | 4946427 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

OK, fair enough, you've physically seen jesus. Can you describe the sighting. Did jesus have the same tangible form of a human being like your brother or sister? I mean, flesh and blood tangible. Was the sighting more like an apparition, ghost like that appeared in the physical world, floating above the ground? Did jesus appear the same as portrayed in literature?

Let me share something johansen. I have had the most remarkable experiences with lucid dreaming. I am talking off the charts incredible, beyond imagination. Full out of body sensations fully controlled in a conscious manner. I can't begin to describe one experience in Seattle when I realised I was asleep and dreaming and then thought to myself, awesome, I'm going to fly over Seattle to have a look. The emerging from the body, in the room where I was sleeping, floating down the hall way, out the back door and then zooming up over the stand of pines trees in the backyard. Incredible, breath taking stuff. was I really out of body, in the physical world. NO. I was in an altered state of consiousness drawing on memories to paint the surrounds. You would describe this as astral travelling, I would describe it as a extremely potent form of dreaming.

That's the difference between us. I accept the limitations of my brain and know full well in advance the brain can play some very devious tricks and what occurs inside the brain does not necessarily have any bearing on the external physical world. Oh, and by the way, I tested categorically the outer of body expertience by getting my partner to write a number on a piece of paper and place the piece of paper on a pelmet in the lounge room. I figured if I was leaving my body in a physical sense I could float up and read the number on the paper. No luck unfortunately even though I got very proficient at lucid dreaming for sometime. 

Fri, 07/11/2014 - 02:43 | 4946442 johansen
johansen's picture

I was not asleep at the time.

I had one and only one experience at lucid dreaming. it ended the moment i was lucid enough to realize i can go find something to have sex with. i woke up half way through something i won't describe, other than to say a friend fo mine had a similar experience.

Fri, 07/11/2014 - 04:51 | 4946502 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

It's hardly a convincing portrayal. Why do you trust what you saw? Was it an hallucination?

Fri, 07/11/2014 - 01:57 | 4946399 johansen
johansen's picture

Yes, I have physically seen Jesus Christ. I know that's a very tall order but i will also say this, i have also seen many other things, some of which have happened, some of which i am waiting for, others have partly manifested in real life because i feared they would happen. that last part keeps me up at night.

when you talk about seening God, that part is so personal i don't even know how to describe it. if God manifests in a visual way, who am i to say that other ways are deception? this is the ultimate test. you have a longing for somethign more, but you withold because its too personal, too crazy, etc, etc.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 20:34 | 4945726 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

The notion of justice after death, I understand the need, believe me, I do. It's just cockamamie though, it's an illusion we chose to live under because it makes life seem more bearable. It is a very poor substitute for reality though because while we defer action to some invisible grey bearded sky man after death, we fail to act to stamp out injustice in the present.

There have been hundreds of thousands if not millions of very, very nasty human beings who have lived a fullfilling and happy life - just at the expense of those unfortunate to be in their presence. Molecules come together under instruction from DNA to build Vlad the Impaler who lives in oppulence, destroys other life in the most horrific and barbarous manner, then dies. The molecules that formed him at the time of his death, disperse back into the environment. He ceases to exist. His DNA is passed to his children to continue the cycle.

Does anyone seriously think Vlad the Impaler still exists in some form in some other dimension suffering eternal damnation. What would be the point? Wouldn't it be better for everyone concerned if he just ceased to exist. when you start drilling into the claims made by the bible it just all breaks down as being really silly.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 23:32 | 4946189 johansen
johansen's picture

"justice" (in human terms) is an illusion. ask for forgiveness. that's the test essentially, can you seek it, and ask for it.

Fri, 07/11/2014 - 00:26 | 4946298 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

Forgiveness for what?

I didn't chose to be born, I just was.

If I am here because of some supreme all powerful creator I'll be buggered if I am going to live in a constant state of fear and bow and scrape to something I have never seen, who set the initial conditions and who then wants me to apologise and ask for forgiveness for what takes place.

Come on mate, this is childish beyond comprehension.

What sort of life is that?

Fri, 07/11/2014 - 02:12 | 4946326 BringOnTheAsteroid
BringOnTheAsteroid's picture

I could also claim, very cynically, that jesus died on the cross for our sins, so we're all golden. 

Hey, I didn't make the rules, this is what the bible claims. He died on the cross for our sins.

Why not be an asshole all your life then ask for forgiveness at the pearly gates, that's what the mafia does.

If I don't sin then jesus's death on the cross was in vain. 

If I ever hear a voice in my head that I can be certain isn't a result of a malfunctioning brain I will be the first to admit I am wrong and drop to the figurative feet of our great leader.

Fri, 07/11/2014 - 12:06 | 4947295 johansen
johansen's picture

at the limit of threaded replies here. all i can say is seek and you will find. so far, most of what i've found is deception, but the subject matter is very damming so to speak. i do not believe it is hard to find absolute truth in this universe, but the signal to noise ratio is very, very low.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:10 | 4944252 Liberal
Liberal's picture

This is so tragic.  He was doing God's work so the rest of us wouldn't have to.  And like a good banker, he was probably an Obama supporter, too.  My heart is so broken right now.  Can we raise taxes on everyone except us public employees to pay for his funeral services?

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 17:50 | 4945066 Rusty Shorts
Rusty Shorts's picture

I just saw a comment disappear ...poooof

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 21:02 | 4945817 WonderDawg
WonderDawg's picture

I remember back in the day when it was supposed to be the Repubes who were asshole buddies with the banks, but the reality was the same then as it is now:  Demotards can be bought for the same price as the Repubes.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 17:22 | 4944989 yrad
yrad's picture

JPM Life Insurance must be nice, even with a suicide.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:29 | 4944354 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

are you here all week?

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:26 | 4945210 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

What do you call 50 dead bankers at the bottom of the Hudson? 

A good start. 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 21:34 | 4945915 Brutlstrudl
Brutlstrudl's picture

Q. Why do bankers wear neckties.

A. So their foreskins can't come up and suffocate them

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:59 | 4943969 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Suicide is painless.

It brings on many changes..


And doesn't Obama have a shot gun?

If only...

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:05 | 4944234 pods
pods's picture

"I don't think you trust, in my, self-righteous suicide."


Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:21 | 4944302 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

and I can take or leave it

if I please ...

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:24 | 4944313 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Joe Biden- "just step outside and give your wife a couple of blasts."

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:54 | 4944450 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Yes..A couple of blasts with that shitgum and all your troubles are gone.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 16:14 | 4944794 Arnold
Arnold's picture

He should talk to Uncle Joe.

It will be his only chance at the POTUS position.

What about it Joe?

Nice job negotiating in the middle east by the way.........

No Joe not New Jersey and Virginia, the other middle east.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:24 | 4944057 ajax
ajax's picture





Three loud rim-shots for Latina Lover !!!

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:01 | 4943928 Otto Zitte
Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:55 | 4943887 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

It's the weather...

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:12 | 4943996 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

Nahh..  It's sanity

It only makes you go crazy.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:21 | 4944045 davidalan1
davidalan1's picture

"there is no sannity clause" - groucho

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:57 | 4944465 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

It is those damned shitgums.


That shitgum must've jumped off of the tble and killed the Bankster and his wife. It is the shitgum's fault.


Now Biden will want to ban shitgums.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:42 | 4944126 varnelius
varnelius's picture

Another One Bites the Dust

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:28 | 4945112 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

I hear the latest technique for doing surgery on banker brains is to re-connect the skin around the throat with 16 pennyweight framing nails, because otherwise the positive air pressure from the blowhard's vocal cords  causes the flap to fly open. You know, the nails used for 2x4s?. 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:53 | 4943878 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Yep, the downside of no self control related to social media.  

Turn everything off and grieve.  Otherwise you will be sorry.  

Later you can surface and post selfies about your beautiful life that is full of promise.....

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:52 | 4943879 MeMongo
MeMongo's picture

Seriously? " life is so beautiful" It almost seems like she knows she'll be visiting them down in the cayman islands where they've recently retired! Wonder if Jersey is 2 vagrants shy lately. Shotguns can be VERY messy. Mongo's last 3 Halloween pumpkins can attest!

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:59 | 4943925 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Police said it was a murder/suicide because they found two dead bodies and a gun in the room.  Nice investigation, must have interrupted the intensive investigation of Corzine to do this.  Looks like this guy was working in the dark pool office of JPM.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:54 | 4944175 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Standard practice; whenever you find two dead bodies and a gun, it's always a murder suicide. Standbye for the obligatory windstorm from the media pundits about how "guns kill people"; and "why do people need guns?". Gag me with a toilet brush; I'm going on Vacation to Austria this Fall; can't come soon enough.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:07 | 4945124 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Kill two birds with one stone, no pun intended. 

1. Eliminate a loose end if the bodies were indeed them, and..

2. Reinforce how 'guns kill people'. 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:19 | 4944032 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Inherit much?

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:51 | 4944162 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

It's all part of a greater plan---there at peace in a better place--- ideation that went out of fashion with the Enlightenment in 1790; Religious Bullshit. Welcome to the new age of en-darkenment; America the Land of the Stupid where 40% of the public believe Jesus is alive in the sky and cares what they did today. Beam me up Scotty; there's not enough intelligent life on this planet.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:27 | 4944341 Agent P
Agent P's picture

You do know that Scotty isn't really up there either, don't you? 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:52 | 4944436 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Yes, I do; thank you. It's an "expression".

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:56 | 4945350 jez
jez's picture



Yeah, I thought that was odd too.


Mom's had her head blowed off by Dad. I'd better log on to Instagram right away.


"Although *I* am heartbroken that they will never see *me* graduate college, will never be there to see *me* get married or to be grandparents for *my* children, *I* can still have *my* inner peace . . ."


It's all about me!

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 21:35 | 4945917 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

She is in for one hell of a rude awakening...


When narcissism meets reality then reality generally wins.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:45 | 4943817 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

WAH WAH WAH... My Banker BONUS Was Only $6.8 Million This Year... O O O O >>>BLAST<<< O O O O

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:45 | 4943819 Stackers
Stackers's picture

sometimes ebony and ivory dont live in perfect harmony

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:55 | 4943894 CCanuck
CCanuck's picture

Now that there is funny.......spit'n shit on your keyboard funny....fuck this site is not priceless, spent over $500 on keyboards since laughter is the best medicine its worth it.


Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:12 | 4944266 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture

That woman looks like Michele ............. nah

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 15:02 | 4944477 InTheLandOfTheBlind
InTheLandOfTheBlind's picture

I would worry about structural integrity

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:29 | 4944333 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

especially if ebony was off-key once too often.  That aside...

I know way too many guys who admit to being mere "meal tickets" for their wife's lifestyle and security.  The kids then become tools for leverage & blackmail, to maintain said lifestyle.  "Supporting" them is a 1-way street, it seems.  Even for the most ardent 'feminists'. 

Welcome to the New 'Merica, where Consumerism, Media and Lawyers run the show.  As decreed by the Globalists.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:06 | 4945120 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture


Shit goes on because it's tolerated. I mock and laugh at your dick less gutless friends.

I know guys that work the swing shift 21 turns 70-90 hours per week and have a net of a few hundred dollars in their weekly pay.

Funny o funnies I'm positive in some cases the kids they bleed for aren't even theirs.

Hey, did you know that blue eyes or lack thereof are not the only tell da kid ain't yours? Did ya? If not, why not?

Truth is shit goes on 'cause most men in reality aren't men. The Epic Irony is - if they were men of the old school attitude of "I will not conform or be your slave" they wouldn't find themselves divorce raped to begin with.

I salivate at the "I'm divorcing you" BS - got my shit on Ready 5 and I'll rise like a Pheonix somewhere way south.

But being a bit above the average social intelligence I made the wise choice to marry a non - Amurikan.

Although YMMV I recommend you do the same...and always be ready to walk.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:13 | 4945151 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Until she divorces you because now she's got her green card. LOL

Sorry, couldn't help myself. You walked right into that. :)

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:24 | 4945199 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Heh, divorce is always a possibility.

And she has zero desire to be a Amurikan Cibizen; being from Singapore she LOLs at Amurika and the ignorance of the average dullard that thinks da USSA is so superior to all else.

My description of the USSA as a Third-World nation with a first world infrastructure always gets a laugh.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:31 | 4945231 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Hmm, Singapore. Doesn't worship Mur'ca. That makes complete sense. Even if you married a bimbo bombshell asian she's still an asian, which means even an idiot in that culture has a 130-140 IQ. 

They must think that most of us Mur'cans have IQ's closer to gibbons than theirs. And they'd be right. 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 15:13 | 4944523 25or6to4
25or6to4's picture

Come on Stackers, mixed couples are superior in every way, at least that's what MSN/Jewllywood tries to shove down our throats. Why, just look at what a lovely couple OJ and Nichole were, wait a minute.....

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:15 | 4945155 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Gave you a green for your recognizing the planned breeding program of whites and blacks - encouraged in every form of media and obvious to the pony of hilarity once you're sensitized to look for it.

The failure in your post is assuming that white / black is the only combination; in fact, seeing the human offal that represents the average white woman in Amurika the prudent White man bent on marriage would do well to consider ... Any South American or Asian.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:53 | 4943880 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

DAMMIT!!   Another two people that wern't on my top 20 list!!!

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 15:48 | 4944679 7.62x54r
7.62x54r's picture

It is a sad trend. These banksters need to not be taking innocent people with them.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:10 | 4945138 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

No one is innocent

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 21:32 | 4945906 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Children are innocent.


Then there are degrees of complicity. To what degree are you complicit?


Your degree of complicity and your level of participation is up to you as it is your choice.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:43 | 4943802 knukles
knukles's picture

Gotta tell ya' the daughter's text/e-mail probably makes her a person of interest.  Just seems so very odd and without remorse, sadness, loss....
great legs.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:46 | 4943828 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

Just getting into banking a bit early, that is all.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:46 | 4943830 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Beat me to the punch knuks. Worst letter to dead parents ever. Sounds like it was written by MSM.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:51 | 4943864 maskone909
maskone909's picture

prob written by the devil himself.

multiple shotgun blasts to the wife?  i dunno but almost all of these deaths are extremely suspicious.  nailgun to the head for fucks sake lol gimmie a break

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:18 | 4944030 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

or gene rosen

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:34 | 4944382 Frank N. Beans
Frank N. Beans's picture

how many gunshots did the guy get?

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:41 | 4944401 maskone909
maskone909's picture

not sure.  but i would guess 10 self inflicted gunshotwounds about the head and upper torso. you know, standard suicide stuff.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:51 | 4943869 Gene Parmesan
Gene Parmesan's picture

It sounds like it was written by the most self-centered little shit ever.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:58 | 4943917 Otto Zitte
Otto Zitte's picture

You're living in the times. You've met the parents. What were you expecting, Mother Jones?

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:12 | 4945152 IndyPat
IndyPat's picture

Can't wait for the InstaGram selfie, casket side.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:56 | 4944186 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

This entire generation's mental content was written by the MSM. LIterally. Every thought in their heads was put there by the idea merchants.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:28 | 4944342 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Packagized, packetized, commodified life stories.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:42 | 4944409 AgShaman
AgShaman's picture

"....his insurance policy will be donated towards Jamie's cancer fighting bills"



Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:54 | 4944447 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 15:13 | 4944501 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

The collapsing economy is not temporary. Life will be abysmal and dismal on the other side if you live through it.


The impending abysmal environment left will be that way for Centuries.


It is just one solution of many.


Of course it may just be a setup and the parents may be in the Caymans...


These crooks have exit strategies.


Of course a Nuke targeted to the Caymans, post collapse, will take care of any loose ends.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:16 | 4945163 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

I just read that! Where have I been??? Throat cancer! 

Yaaahooooooo!!! Now he gets to explain himself to "the man" once that shit ravages his banker body. Is anyone here a medical doctor and if so can you tell me if human medicine works on bankers? 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:49 | 4943852 valley chick
valley chick's picture

First thing I noticed was the remark made by the daughter...very odd.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:56 | 4943900 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

It doesnt take much to hire some gang bangers in Newark to take care of someone.  I assume the daughter has some hood connections.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:58 | 4944197 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

$50 and a couple of rocks ought to do it.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:55 | 4944449 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

But they get to keep the 12ga.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:21 | 4944300 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Posted on Instagram and is all about "me", so are you really, it accelerates the inheritance.  

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:52 | 4944438 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Was it an Instagram post or Friendster?  Maybe she wanted to get a lot of hits and add new friends.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:20 | 4945171 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Absolutely, because social media friends are the ones that you can absolutely rely on no matter how tough things get. All you have to do is announce that you're really down on your luck and your "friends" will email you tons of groceries. 

In *jpeg form of course, but your in their thoughts, and that's what really counts, right? 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:29 | 4945219 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Hashtag ineedparentskilled4insurancemonies

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 15:36 | 4944634 Boondocker
Boondocker's picture

Whoever pulled the trigger was pissed at mom....multiple kill shots are almost always due to anger....real cops would be sweating the shit out of the daughter about now...  

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:34 | 4945244 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Three words: Ritualistic Satanic Abuse. 

Fri, 07/11/2014 - 10:36 | 4947006 Clashfan
Clashfan's picture

Now you're thinkin'. 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:52 | 4944167 thamnosma
thamnosma's picture

Maskone -- I understand why you're receiving lots of red arrows yet it was, to be honest, the first thing I noticed in the photo -- I could have, of course, red arrowed you for daring to post that, though to be honest, I didn't.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:16 | 4944281 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

@maskone909: "what a waste of great legs."

Show me a beautiful woman, and I'll show you a guys who's tired of doing her.  IOW... Great looks + Body ain't everything.  In fact, as divorce stats show, it won't last long at all.

Great looks bestowed too early in life (before adulthood and emotional maturity) is more of a curse than a blessing, because attractive people aren't forced to develop their brains and personality in their Developmental years.  The most grounded beauties are those from stable homes, and who became attractive in their late teens or twenties. 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:38 | 4944391 maskone909
maskone909's picture

i agree.  my wife wasnt popular in highschool or college because she cared more about learning than "skanks drink free" night at the local meat market.  most of our popular friends are on their second or third failed marriage with a few illigetimate kids.  we are the quiet, modest types. we take care of our families and keep a close but small circle of loyal peeps.  we never had a facebook, and cant stomach the latest trends.  

but i digress.  i still think that doods wife had nice legs.  i dont understand the down arrows but fuck it. to each is own

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:53 | 4944442 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

In general I notice the people who were most miserable in high school go on to become most successful (in many senses of the word) in life. 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:54 | 4944444 AgShaman
AgShaman's picture

Don't apologize for the 'G" rating this site has become

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:40 | 4945265 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

I suggest that you get over it. Unless you're some troll of the masses that deserves daily abuse, you're gonna get down arrowed here from time to time. 

Hell, I've been called a douche by a poster one day and then the next day we're having an exchange and it's like we're best friends. Water under the bridge. Fight Club members actually love taking punches from time to time, don't you remember that? 

Ohh, the "you're a douche" comment probably resulted from my responding to one of his posts with "You're an idiot...." LOL

You can't be part of Project Mayhem, and hence Fight Club unless you WANT to take a punch once in a while. 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 17:16 | 4944976 Hard Assets
Hard Assets's picture

His or hers ? Lol !


(I gave ya a thumbs up !)



Thu, 07/10/2014 - 17:16 | 4944977 Hard Assets
Hard Assets's picture

His or hers ? Lol !


(I gave ya a thumbs up !)



Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:43 | 4943805 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

WAH WAH WAH... My Banker BONUS Was Only $6.8 Million This Year... O O O O >>>BLAST<<< O O O O

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:46 | 4943832 WarHorse
WarHorse's picture

The guy wodered in the operations center.  He wasn't a banker ..... reading comp

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:38 | 4945255 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

exactly, Whippany NJ probably worked on how many milliseconds JPM could front run their clients by , what a noble career!

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:36 | 4943755 jaap
jaap's picture

Klaas Knot?

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:36 | 4943756 blacktusk
blacktusk's picture


Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:36 | 4943757 PAPA ROACH
PAPA ROACH's picture

The good news is these people apparently grew a conscious. The bad news is they felt the only way out was suicide.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:41 | 4943786 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Hold tight wait till the party's over
Hold tight We're in for nasty weather
There has got to be a way
Burning down the house

(Talking Heads)

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:33 | 4944086 monad
Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:48 | 4944147 varnelius
varnelius's picture

West Ohio Arsonist Club's theme song right there.

I Heard they're working out of Detroit these days.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:57 | 4943859 CCanuck
CCanuck's picture

Jamie's Silver Lining....

JPM has good news too....

The multi 100million life insurance policies placed on him and his wife will ensure that Global Network Operations Center will be profitable for the year, and bonuses will be maxed for all remaining Directors.


Hugs from the Cancer Ward,

Jamie "Im richer than you" Dimond



Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:43 | 4944412 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Nothing would suprise me.  Dr. Jim Willie said one of his subscribers works for JPM and Dimon does not have cancer.  He is trying to bail out.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 16:14 | 4944793 CCanuck
CCanuck's picture

I was told its Herpes, he was known for being the life of Bathhouses' paartaay's

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:42 | 4945283 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Herpes of the throat? That makes sense. Must have been a really really long central banker dick. 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 23:11 | 4945595 CCanuck
CCanuck's picture

Just a rumor Carbone, but.....

(whisper'n) ..Joan says it was the "Wookie".

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 12:40 | 4943770 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Recently saw Blythe with a bottle of gin on the Bowery.  She was not looking too good.  Mumbling something about "those stupid Swiss commodity traders."  Someone ought to put her on "watch."

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:01 | 4944210 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Lotsa, lotsa, peoples been handed their asses in a paper bag by "Stupid Swiss Commodity Traders"; who are; guess what? Not Stupid, a.) and have plenty of inside information b.).

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 14:58 | 4944466 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Made Delancy St. look good that day?

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 18:43 | 4945292 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Totally agree. That has to be put on YouTube when it happens. 

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:16 | 4944015 frankTHE COIN
frankTHE COIN's picture

Fuck a Nail Gun. hand me that 12 Gauge.

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:32 | 4944079 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

yeah, for swiftness a 12 gauge shotty will do it.  Very messy though.

But ya still gotta give mad props for the creativity and balls to do it with a nail gun.  Whether it was suicide or he was "suicided", someone gets the mad props for that one. 

I'll tell ya...if that was really suicide then that dude was one tough sonofabitch...who could shoot themselves 8 times with a nail gun until they finally die from it???  LOL

Yeah...he was doubt about it. 


Thu, 07/10/2014 - 15:51 | 4944703 7.62x54r
7.62x54r's picture

Is there a close order drill and manual of arms for nailguns?

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:18 | 4944031 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

Just ONCE, wouldn't one of these fuckers redeem him/herself by giving us an Edward Snowden-style treasure trove of banker information before they shoot/jump/nailgun?

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 13:32 | 4944080 iamrefreshed
iamrefreshed's picture

What makes you think they weren't and then happened to get dead?

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 15:27 | 4944590 InTheLandOfTheBlind
InTheLandOfTheBlind's picture

Would require conscious

Thu, 07/10/2014 - 21:27 | 4945895 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Do you mean conscience?


Concious means awareness...

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