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Thursday Humor: The New US Tax Return
The recent IRS scandal is sure to go down as one of the most ridiculous of scandals in U.S. history. As Andrea Combs scoffs (rightly), the more that is uncovered, the more unbelievable the story becomes. So, in the interests of "fairness" - a topic this administration holds at its core - we present the new tax return, with addenda...
h/t @BuzzPo
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They will use force to squeeze your "voluntary contribution" out of you....bastards.
RIPS
Keep what you earn. Pay for what you use. Why is this such a hard concept for people?
Please pay your taxes, people. My pension depends on it! I mean, paying taxes is patriotic!
Just think about it, it took the government ordering 65,000 Guatemalan kids off Alibaba and asking CONgress for 3.8 billion bucks to get this hard drive crash story off the radar.
#BringBackOurEmails
pods
I'm paid 1099-style. The thought of just saying "I'm not gonna pay" crosses my mind too often.
Last year I whiffed on paying the quarterly estimated payments. Had better uses for the money at the time (buying FB and AMZN). Let me tell you how comfortably you can live when you bring home your WHOLE paycheck instead of 60% of it. You pay the price come next April, though.
The NSA will be more than happy to provide your information to the IRS. The NSA will not provide the IRS's information to you, or your congressional representatives.
Tyranny.
Unnecessary. The IRS knows right where to find me. Same cell phone number for 24 years, same address for 17 years. It's the house with the big American flag out front and the "trespassers will be shot" sign.
I actually used the "my hard drive crashed" excuse a couple times when I filed for extensions before I realized the IRS is a scam and stopped filing altogether back in 2008. I think Lois just copped my game.
I am Chumbawamba.
If people won't even stop paying taxes, there isn't much hope for anything bigger.
But we don't want to risk losing what we have. That's how they keep our nuts in the vise. The question is...how far do we go before we put ANYTHING at risk? Do we wait until we are absolutely sure we have nothing left to lose?
The funny thing is that realistically, you don't have anything. Under this system you have what they have only neglected to confiscate. You do not truly own anything though.
One day they will charge you to work, as in 50% fed tax (of the gross income), 50% State tax (of the gross income) and 50% local tax (of the gross), plus 50% sales tax. We'll be worth more dead than alive.
if the endless spending by the government and all the wars
and other black budget shit doesnt prove the fact taxes are
obsolete to you, you are an idiot that deserves to be taxed.
IIRC at one stage in Britain the top tax rate was an effective 104% tax. That sort of shit is why Britain isn't Great anymore and why the States won't be United.
Federal Prisons are generally pretty big.
The Federation States of America is pretty big, yes.
Comment deleted after a scary phone call from the NSA
Don't forget to add that "survivors will be shot again".
Where I live, as a 1099, >50% of my paycheck goes to the thieves. One year, I needed the extra scratch to pay for some medical bills (health insurance pays dick when it comes to hospital stays). I couldn't pay taxes for one year. They know instantly. The penalty for not being able to pay was $25K. I have to pay the penalty and the interest on the penalty in order for them to forgive it and then they keep the interest after they forgive the penalty. Because tax rates are so fucking high, I can never make this up unless I magically increase my earning somehow as a 50% tax rate per year (2 years) = 100% the next year. With penalties, it's far greater than 100% of my income. 'Murica is done hung itself on its own igornance.
MoxE:
By the sound of it, you probably would be better off quitting your job and getting on the government dole. Funny thing is, that's probably their plan. How dare you try to be independent and earn your own living.
That's the game. Never lose your footing and fall or you may never be able to get back up again. And they make it so easy to stay down too. No guilt, no pressure. Once you have kissed the ring...admitted that they own your ass, they can be very generous...but not until then.
NoDebt + 1000! Damn Straight. If America's mojority did not have taxes automatically held out, and rather, had to pay all at once, this country would see a Blood-bath on April 15th
"I'm paid 1099-style. The thought of just saying "I'm not gonna pay" crosses my mind too often."
Turbo Timmy, is that you?
lol wow, sad but true.
http://ericsprott.blogspot.ca/
Maybe - if you read the tax code you would find you owe no taxes.
See whatistaxed.com for more information
Domestic earned income not taxable -- foreign earned income taxable. Section 26 - 86 - 1 thru 8T tells you about taxable income, exempt income, etc.
However if you choose to volunteer your income is taxable the government will accept your contribution.
And yet you'll still go to jail for tax evasion.
Gummint (incl all bueaucrats): ctrl-alt-del
Pay as I say, not as I do.
Obviously
Tim Gheitner, Charlie Wrangel, et al, and most of pols. YOU pay, I don't
Where is that article from last week about IRS employee's being paid bonuses so they could pay their back taxes?
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/federal-eye/wp/2014/04/23/irs-paid-b...
This brings new meaning to 4/15.
Isn't that supposed to be 4/20?
uh, yeah, see how far that gets us, only the corrupt politicos, bankers, beaurocrats, dictators, etc etc have that card.
You are right. I've been arrested and put in handcuffs at my home and taken away in front of my family and neighbors for failure to file income tax!!! The thing is it wasn't for the Feds but for the state income tax.
Not fun at all
FUIRS.
FUIRS.
Irwin Schiff
Among the arguments raised over the years by Schiff are:
Schiff should not pay his taxes and claim one of these reasons, it will not work out well for him
You're new here, eh?
No... and he's sane, too
Sanity is overrated.
I'm not crazy.
I work for a company that manfactures straight jackets...business is booming.
Yeah, but for how long?
Ask P Diddy or Willy Nelson....or Al Capone
Larken Rose explained why he hardly ever talks about his tax jail staycation - because hardly anyone cares. Pisses me off but the fact is most humans are brainwashed cows.
http://larkenrose.com/
No shit.
We (those who, for whatever reason, still possess enough wit to think for ourselves) are, unfortunately, grossly outnumbered by those
who can just barely muster up enough intelligence to tie their own fucking shoes in the morning.
Sad.. but true.
It has ALWAYS been that way. The American Founders made a point of limiting the electorate to those that were vested in society. The progressives have done their damnedest to undo that, and look at where we are now.
Schiff is serving a 13-plus year sentence for tax crimes with his location listed as the Federal Correctional Institution at Fort Worth, Texas. His projected release date has been changed from October 7, 2016 to July 26, 2017.
(Yeah, it's Wikipedia, but it's easy.)
when i first heard the in depth story of what was done to Irwin Schiff I simply could not believe it, and only did believe it because it was Peter recounting the story, one of the most anger inducing stories I'v ever heard
From that day forward I carry a deep hatred of the IRS, akin to the red hate that I carry for the RCC and all the scum who wear its various uniforms,
And i'm not even an American,
Yeah, when I first heard the story about Schiff I was not too intrigued until I heard that the DC US and court BANNED his book. That got my attention.
They arrested, persecuted and incarcerated him because, as they said, he was wrong, yet they still felt compelled to suppress his views. When they do that to a person and his ideas, you know that that person is on to something.
Also of note regarding the DC US' criminality are the several videos of people, some well know, going around asking IRS pols and crats to, "Show me the law." I was incredulous when I first heard of it, as I figured it would be people acting like ass-clowns, etc. and so preventing any cooperation from the pols and crats being interviewed. Nope, these were straight forward people asking one straight foreword question: "Show me the law." The pols and crats, all of them, in all the videos, refused to answer or show them the law--ALL of them in ALL of the videos that I have seen.
Pretty eye opening.
The most powerful weapon the American people have to use against the DC US tyrants is Rejection.
The system of fraud and theft that has been built up upon the backs of the American people is dependent upon our backs. Withdrew our backs, and the whole thing collapses. This is our greatest weapon.
Quit Paying--put it into food, steel and lead, and precious metals, etc. They stole what ever "debt money" they loaned you in the first place via fraudulent-reserve banking and soon you won't be able to pay them anyways, so just stop now.
Quit Obeying--If they are in violation of the Constitution then they are criminals and not legitimate.
Quit Playing--Quit being a tool for them to use.
The Four Rs
Rejection: Quit paying, quit obeying, quit playing
Revolution: It is inevitable, so prepare, as they are.
Retribution: The guilty must answer for their crimes against the American people and the Constitution.
Restoration: Restore the American people, country and Constitutional republic.
1. If money is power, why do we so freely part with it?
2. Disengage the thieves' economy on all non-essential functions.
3. Deploy your capital today on solutions for tomorrow that require no dollar inputs.
4. Spend time with loved ones/pursue goals.
--
I don't understand why people get so enraged at the IRS when the reality is that consumer spending is what keeps the veil propped up. Yes, the IRS is shit and you could fight them, but you will likely end up in jail. A general boycott can't be countered and will have the same effect.
Remember SOPA and GoDaddy? Money talks; bullshit walks. A general boycott (keep paying for needs: rent, food, etc) from even a few % of people would force the thieves' hand.
1. Money is power, but fiat currency ain't money- it's an obligation, a promise to pay that no matter how well intentioned, cannot be kept due to the very nature of usury.
2. The whole fkn economy belongs to the theives who claim that currency is money. It's not.
3. Do you live in a cave?
4. Now there's a happy thought! How long has it been since you sucked Jamie's dick? He has cancer, y'know. Some believe it's contagious.
Maybe you're just naive. Maybe you practice what you preach, but you kinda fizzled out there with your segue to SOPA- and3 what the fuck does GoDaddy have to do with this? I assume that if gov't has the ability to fuck me, it already has. The revelations about spying leave me cold- I already knew that. Fuck 'em. Let 'em snoop. They can suck my dick.
You know Boetie? I'll leave ya' with a quote. Read the whole fkn thing. This dude only lived 33 years and he gained more wisdom in that span than most of us do in a lifetime.
Eventually, all power comes down to the end of a gun. As long as there are willing military who will obey treasonous commanders, not paying taxes or any other civil disobedience is pointless. If everyone stopped paying taxes, they would declare martial law and just take the resources they want and blame it all on the people for failing to pay taxes. Real power always has and always will be, physical force.
Agreed. So at the end of it all, we all must be willing to die in order to live free. This is the secret the banksters know- but the people do not. Same as it ever was, and thanks for the reply.
GoDaddy was boycotted for supporting SOPA. They were shitting themselves so many people left. They changed their tune to not supporting SOPA. This was a lie most likely, but it proved that money talks and bullshit walks.
I really like your advice better than mine. Sure it is basically the same thing "don't play with the assholes" but yours is much more vague and inactionable. "Be willing to die". Well shit, that is all I gotta do, be WILLING? I don't even have to DO anything at all.... Keep spending and complaining about those assholes that YOU KEEP GIVING YOUR (fake) MONEY/POWER TO.
No, sir. I am self-employed. I won't do gubmint work.
They call and leave me messages all the time telling me I can have a no-bid contract. I say no. Fuck you!
Maybe one day when you enter the real world you will understand the real world. Choices are hard. You will find that this is true.
Right now, you are a weed laying in a field of perfect wheat. A parasite. That is all.
Boetie was Montaigne's best friend. That tells you volumes.
Thank you for the quotation.
deleted
You all then may like this:
http://home.earthlink.net/~schiffeconomics/index.htm
This is a copy of a book written by Irwin Schiff.
Mr. Schiff has freely released his coprighted materials on the web as part of Irwin Schiff's Great Giveaway. His index of scans for "How an Economy Grows and Why It Doesn't" are posted here. The pages displayed and linked below are Schiff's scans with sequentially clickable links added, making the book easier to read online.
The illustrator, Vic Lockman ("Cartoonist for hire!"), has a web page here.
It's a great book.
he did, it didn't,
Doing time for the man.
Isn't any judge in conflict of interests in such cases?
Right and wrong, good and bad, have nothing to do with law. Crooks write immoral laws and use the legal system to screw you. Thats what happened to Irwin Schiff. He is right, they are crooks, he is in jail, they are not. All who benefit from the injustice, judges included, deserve an unhappy ending. Irwin Schiff is a brave and moral man, some would say a fool for challenging his theives, but perhaps we are the fools. We whine and accept the tyranny, he did not. Ultimately men like Schiff are better than us and our lives become better because of them.
Everything Irwin Schiff says it's completely correct and lucid and sane. The problem is twofold. One, Schiff failed to realize he is under multiple layers of contractual obligations, and two, the collection agency of the federal reserve and it's owners known as the IRS simply doesn't give a shit about the law or if your right...
The only thing I can fault Irwin Schiff for is his mistaken belief that the courts in this country will uphold the Constitution basic principles of law when those in power want them not to.
They have to know that a mass revolt is brewing, right? I mean down to the individual worker at the IRS and other such parasitical organizations...If it is not common knowledge in those institutions by now, then it should be.
They know, man. They know. Every congress and administration plays the "not on my watch" game to stave it off until the next guy is sitting in the chair.
Probably, but I am sure arming said worker bees has nothing to do with the bad moon on the rise.
The + IRS = THEIRS
I love that. I'm going to get a T shirt made out of that one.
http://www.zazzle.com/the_irs_theirs_t_shirt-235145258534896620
theres the link... order one ;)
I never pay "my" taxes. Nothing about those taxes is mine except the money that is stolen under threat. It's their taxes paid with my stolen money.
If some fool with a Stockholm syndrom is offended because he didn't mind being robbed but I wasn't robbed my "fair share" I really just don't give a fuck. The robbers need to be dealt with and the fools disregarded.
You mean LiveStock Home Syndrome?
Off to the Gulag IRS-I-Owe.
Just get your assets off their grid, and fuck 'em.
It takes a couple of years, so start now.
The govt. will be coming for everything you own,realize it ,and hedge accordingly.
Its just a matter of time.
ZERO hedge.
get it ;-)
In other news, IRS changing name to ISIS and will accelerate serf tax collection enforcement actions.
...and destruction of antiquities whose cost basis cannot be adequately determined.
If one wished to blow off a small refund, it would be fun to submit that form. If you are owed money you are not required to file. They'll probably eliminate refunds in the future anyway.
Do you really think the worker drones at the IRS give a shit about some nobody blowing off a few dollars refund? If they did give a shit then they can arrange for you to be audited.
If you want to make the IRS wake up then learn how to make remote detonators, IEDs and other fun stuff. No blow off but a big blow up.
I know one old guy who told me if the doctors tell him to get his estate in order then he will go out with a bang.
Wiki 'Ed and Elaine Brown'. They're both in jail.
"The Browns filed numerous pre-trial motions, contending (among other things) that the United States is owned by Paine Webber and that "the most powerful court in America is not the United States Supreme Court, but the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania."
google "birth certificate cusip"
I will show this to H&R Block next year if i'm still alive.
The HDD failure is such a lame plot-point in this awful stage play.
Bring on the FAT LADY!
fat lady
tax....
Zerohedge got a shout out in the financial post
http://business.financialpost.com/2014/07/10/a-social-networking-stock-has-exploded-25000-in-a-few-days-and-its-not-even-clear-if-the-company-exists/?__lsa=881d-7df2
So what would happen if we all do that? I am thinking about it. Those filthy fucks
When the Petro$ goes poof, I will be doing my own audits--me and my buddy Guillotine.
The law doesn't matter. Pay your taxes, bitchez.
Exactly. Like we have all been screaming about how unconstitutional our government is, yet still suggest we can use the law as a defense. They laugh at our simplicity!
40% of households have guns.
Most of them have multiple gun owners.
If one of every ten gun owners reported, it would still be the biggest army in the world.
And don't tell me about airplanes, bombs, nukes and the rest, becuase they'd be bombing their rentier assets. And because those things are good at destroying THINGS mostly. The people are just collateral. But collateral doesn't work as well when the targets aren't clustered together in a tiny urban area the way they are in most of the world.
To stay on top they have to have a means of going door to door against resistance.
So... they can laugh at our conception of Law only up to the point that they lose their credibility and legitimacy. After that they are toast.
Then again, they are stupid enough to do just that.
This may fix the door-to-door dilemma (with elaborate NSA, FBI and local Law Enforcement databases cross-reference).
How about this:
Dear Dick Holes. Please provide us with evidence that there is such a thing as "money".
Ha Ha Ha. We are American. We don't need no stinking money.
Go fuck yourselves.
Love, America.
PS. Nice try.
PPS. Fuck the Queef and her ugly inbred non-lineage bastard piece of shit faggot son.
Can't I just QE my tax payments?
Indeed. This is because QE stands for QEEF.
Why else is the family called WIND SOARS?
WHAT, I SAY, WHAT is in a name?
Now you understand: there is no money. There has never been any money. There will be no money. There is only tax and death.
The only people who ought to be taxed are those who do not work.
Especially illegal mexican children crossing our borders. We should eat them. I bet they are tender and juicy.
I love mexican and central American food! Yumm!
Why do I always get the last word?
On Barry's watch.
Ohhhhhhh, big surprise.
I.R.S. , LLC
Specializing in colorectal exams and proctology.
The tax system is voluntary? Only partially true. What IS voluntary is your application into the Social Sewcurity System. Once in you are elible (entitled) to what the courts would classify as EXTRAORDINARY PROTECTIONS PAID FOR WITH MONEY FROM THE PUBLIC TREASURY. You have NO Liberty, Property, or Contract rights in those protections or its source of funding. Again, this would be a STATUTORY RIGHT that can be modified or taken away at the will of the legislative body that created the PRIVILEGE. YES, I SAID PRIVILEGE. Does anyone other than government lawyers understand the concept of an EXCISE OR PRIVILEGE TAX????? YES!!!! The government can TAX the PRIVILEGES it creates. With the help of the States it has done so. The TAXES witheld from your paycheck, State and Federal are ALL excise or Privilege taxes within a system YOU had to VOLUNTEER into by APPLICATION. YES!!! YOU or your parents had to apply. When you did, you WAIVED judicial protections of CONTRACT and PROPERTY in exchange for those protections. The EXCISES imposed under the ACT use the WAGE, or whatever else, AS A UNIT OF MEASUREMENT TO CALCULATE THE INDIRECT EXCISE. And as the taxing power knows NO LIMITS upon that which is a proper object of taxation, the government can take 100% of what you earn and leave you with NOTHING save a few future promises that can me modified or taken away at any time.
The constitutional problems with this are many. And forget about Schiff's frivilous arguments. He lost and the government is correct. But still corrupt. What we have here is TREASON by the States themselves as they handed the feds the power to do something that they themselves are constitutionally forbidden from doing. Those are:
Interfere with the obligation of contracts.
Moot the provisions of the federal apportionment clause as to direct taxation on property. The States handed the feds the power to bypass this clause by handing the feds the power to use the PROPERTY as a unit of measurement to calculate the indirect excise. No need to tax the WAGE (property) directly anymore as if the people would ever put up with it anyway.
Its all irrelevent now. The system is overloaded and is imploding as I write this. The courts are terrified and will do nothing even if the matter is properly brought. This leaves us with a complete collapse of the dollar and the treasury. Yes, they will get nasty on the way out which is why the next Civil War in the US is now mathematically impossible to avoid. The free shit crowd is going to riot and burn the inner cities to the ground. Starving peoiple do not give a shit about the rules of martial law. The money to pay law enforcement and the military will dry up as the value of the currency goes to zero. And another thing. In the midst of the collapse, look to China and Russia to lash out at the US as it goes down.
Hedge accordingly
Th ONLY smart move for anyone with any sense who has even the slightest whiff or foreboding of events to come, is to get your assets out of there.
Even your house can be transferred offshore.
Its not hard to do, Create a paper loan for all free equity, there are off shore companies available to do just that
They register the lien and you don't get the money and you don't repay the non existent loan but it exists on paper .
It is a loan applied for, approved, in place, active, but with a deferred draw-down and repayment schedule that can only be activated by both parties agreeing and with a draw-down and repayment that can take place simultaneously, extinguishing the loan at any future time.
All your personal assets can be covered this way as all free assets can be included in the schedule of securities.
Like the mansion taxes proposed in the UK.
If you own a mansion and the bank owns the 100% mortgage and you walk away if a mansion tax is imposed, they cannot pursue you for that tax if you vacate the property.
Its not yours anymore
It belongs to the bank.
Wherever that bank is based.
But there again only a fool buys property in their own name instead of an offshore corporation.
What is the point of shuffling papers on the titles of assets in the event of a collapse? Once the collapse occurs, all that matters is the actual, phyiscal asset. You think the state or the bank is going to be going door-to-door conducting foreclosures after mortgage calls went unheeded? Are you serious?
Even if they did, how would they be any different from the zombies going door-to-door looking for food? None of them are bullet-proof.
When it come to federal income taxes and SS, I have three rules.
1. Always file a paper return.
2. Always file on April 15.
3. Never show profit from a business of more than $400 (triggers SS).
I have been self-employed for the past 15 years. Have paid $0 taxes. I have rental income and a huge expense item (amortization of intangible assets - look it up) that effectively wipes out any income. This year that item runs out, but I have a plan. I'm going to write to the IRS and ask if they have my 2005 return, because mine was lost. I might ask for 2002, 2003 and 2004 also. By law, I am only required to keep records seven years, so, 2006 would be the last year I have.
If my assumption is correct - that the IRS is a bunch of useless mouth-breathing yankers - they will have no record of my 2005 return or any prior year, so, how can they possibly know that my 15-year amortization has expired?
If I'm right, I'll just keep taking the full, fat expense. If not, I will adjust the basis upwards or institute a new amortization schedule based upon new "subscribers." It's a simple dodge for anyone who has a website and publishes a newsletter.
If that doesn't work, I'll just start claiming the deductions for using my home as a business, which I have never done, and, possibly using that angle for more exemptions, expenses, etc. for past years (I think I can go back three years).
I'm a world-class fukker. I'm not rich, but I'll be damned if I pay taxes into a system built on fraud, waste and abuse.
Molon labe, bitchez.
This is very interesting. Tons of great info on ZH comments. How would you reduce, say, a $150,000 W2 income of an engineer or a manager.
french fries anyone?
Some of most knowledgable tax experts I have ever met were union heavy equipment operators. Those guys spent all their break time, which was a LOT, discussing their side businesses and trying to figure out how to not get killed on taxes. Some of those guys made more on the side, or claimed they did anyway, than they did on their day job.
Invest $146,000 in either email recovery software or a company the produces hammers to destroy Hard disks
Timmy Geithner and Charley Rangel. What else needs to be said?
I losted mine toooo and also my dog ate it after.
My tax return would included a section in hobby Business of buying corrupt Hard disks and recoveing data from them, with a special note: I know what the IRS did from summer 2010 to 2013.........
Good job Tyler.
People, people, people...
In the next election, demand that your senators and representatives support and become sponsors of the FairTax legislation currently before Ways and Means!
Stop all this ranting! End the IRS now, while you still have the right to vote!
If ya hate to read, check it out here!
"Voting," LOL.
There is nothing fair about the FairTax. Repeal the 16th amendment. Problem solved.
How do you repeal an amendment that never was?
http://www.thelawthatneverwas.com/
Oh Jesus. Another one of you. Ok, let me try this again: Regardless of whether or not it was properly ratified (and there are legitimate questions as to whether or not it was) what matters is that all three branches of government operate as if it were. If you want to change that, you need to repeal it, get rid of the federal government ability to tax individuals, and make the feds collect their revenue from the states.
That is all. You want to start splitting hairs on ratification, go to infowars. They'll love you there.
I try not to frequent sites controlled by the opposition (Infowars). I know that the government operates as if it were ratified, I think it is pertinent to the discussion though.
Do you think it would be easier to repeal the amendment or to raise awareness of the research done into the questions surrounding its ratification? I am just asking and not trying to argue.
The same holds true for the 13th Ammendment that was originally ratified in 1809. I have read it in published law books that were used in a courtroom; the prime move of the original 13th was to delete any attorney who swore alligence to their oath to the BAR
(The oath does not mean that railing around a court but rather teh British Accreditation Registry.) The punishment was attorney's being stripped of their Citizenship for taking a title from a foreign nation.
When the 2016 Constitutional review is held, tese matters must be brought up. Milestones
The IRS isn’t just good at destroying information that would incriminate them. They seem to be making shit up when it suits them too.
I just got a delinquency notice from the IRS for failing to report extinguished debt from Citibank. Problem is, neither my wife nor I ever had a mortgage, credit card, or loan account of any kind with Citibank. We never received a 1099-C from the bank for debt relief either. When I called Citibank to inquire about it, they confirmed they had no accounts in their system associated with either of our SSN’s, and they had no records in their system of the account number referenced by the IRS being assigned to anyone. They also told me they had received numerous calls from people similarly inquiring about unverifiable tax claims.
So, what’s up IRS? What NSA profile are you using this time to target people who challenge your procedures and practices? Let me help you get started, I am not a member of the Tea Party.