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Kerry Kaiser-Beer Caption Contest
A first class, all expenses paid weekend trip to Vienna with full diplomatic and press cover, to explain to Germany why every day a new CIA spy is uncovered, and to again reach no resolution on Iran's nuclear program: millions of dollars.
Relaxing at the end of the day for a job well done with a cold Kaiser beer: priceless.
Some things money can't buy. For everything else there's TaxpayerCard.
Good end to long days. pic.twitter.com/1aEEozZdSd
— John Kerry (@JohnKerry) July 13, 2014
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My name is John Kerry, and I'm a doucheaholic.
Doucheweiser
Wilbur, bring me another beer and some oats...
what a douche
"You forgot the fucking ping pong balls?"
Like making love in a canoe...
Who stole my god damn ketchup?
You can lead a horse to beer but you can't make it drink.
"Who pissed in my beer?"
He's still got a long face, even after a beer. Thats sad.
"The least interesting man in the world"
it's sick when sociopaths like Kerry, obama, etc. etc. etc. (all the political scum, pretty much) make EVERYTHING they do even something as small as drinking a fucking mug of beer look totally contrived, scripted, fake, and utterly ridiuclous.
I'd sware these fuckers are so removed from the reality of everything that they just might be from an alien race.
It's mind-numbing to think Barry chose this guy to be our #1 diplomat.
"It's mind-numbing to think Barry chose this guy to be our #1 diplomat."
Not really, All of Barry's Cabinet picks are the same. There is not one that stands out.
And yet nobody noticed the feudal emblem on his mug? Interesting.
Q: Who does Kerry work for? A: The Feudal Masters who are coming back to life, after a century of being undead. Feudalism 2.0, baby, it's what's in the cards.
"Who pissed in my beer?" All of us!!!
Let's horseface it, life is good.
"Why do Clydesdales have all the fun?"
@ TeamDepends: "Like making love in a canoe..."
Old Canadian joke about weak American beer like Bud: both are fuc'g close to water. Not to digress from the article's theme, what most foreigners and "serious" beer lovers fail to realize that it's not about selling "real beer". It's about selling as much as possible. Which happens when you can drink more, w/o getting drunk as fast, which leads to selling more. Clearly the suits/MBAs run Bud (or used to), rather than beer lovers.
""When your horse is headed down toward the waterfalls or your horse is drowning, it's a good time to change horses in midstream. May I also suggest we need a taller horse? You can get through deeper waters that way."
Actual quote from John Kerry during his 2004 campaign for President.
Say what you will about the equine man, he certainly is self-aware.
Was Irish, now Jewish....Jewrish!
Actually, neither....... he is in the royal/holy family none will talk about. The most murderous liars win the planet. Proven here on planet earth ! Congrats. I am sure one centralized power on a human occupied planet could only have been brought about this way. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YFk4b6yeX4
Uncle Fester as Minister of Propaganda
Hate to break it to you guys, but Kaiser beer makes a liar's head explode,
in 5,4,3....
Skier's prefer Gosser anyways, Kaiser is for flat landers.
War hero.
I never understood it either, apparently he thinks horses can't swim or only tall horses can or he doesn't want to get his feet wet...or sumpin.
Ahhh well, what the hell ya gonna do...lol.
.
He's afraid his shoes will rust if they get wet.
Sir Kerry of Heinz mounted on his faithful warhorse Scottrade!
Has a certain ring to it ;-)
Jen Jiss Con never had it this good.
"I never understood it either, apparently he thinks horses can't swim or only tall horses can or he doesn't want to get his feet wet...or sumpin."
The taller horses have bigger flippers. Duh?
It's Irish philosophy.
Only makes sense if you are very drunk, or married to a troll.
I like my beer first then comes the lingerie afterwards....
.....he once held the entire U.S. congress spellbound, with his tale of military prowess....
Stay thirsty, my friends.
"Beer For My Horses"
"For a smooth, shiny coat on your Clodsdale, serve him genuine Olde Douche Oat Beer"
I think thats the name of his yacht ;-)
Hmmm. Crack Head One?
I like Kaiser Beer but even better I like Kaiser gold......go foch yourselfs you stupid Krauts
That green label during Xmas is frikin good strong...can't get any on America...i wish the the liquor control board of Ontario would mail me some...two cases please.
http://www.pvv.ntnu.no/~steinl/vitser/beer.html
The very definition of a useless fuck
I also drink my own urine disguised as a beer and my face looks like a cunt.
Nothing worse than some idiot making a display of a half drank half pint.
Just like his Vietnam tour, he got through half of the first half and ran home to cry to his senate. Half Ass!
Horses drank beer? No wonder they are forever happily pulling wagons of beer.
Whiskey for my men, beer for my horses.
Got that right.... but that’s Germany, not England.
He’s just being a good diplomat
I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer to have the taxpayers buy it.
Complex societies...
The problem of running an Empire
We don't spend taxpayer money on it we spend stimulus money to quench the Clydesdale's thirst
Lets face it people I am real good. I deserve everything and more. You are welcome. Cheers.
It needs moar ketchup.
Say John, why the long face?
In breaking news:
Margaret Thatcher 'personally covered up' child abuse allegations against senior ministers
The Tory Prime Minister is said to have held a meeting with a rising star, who was tipped for promotion, and told him: “You have to clean up your sexual act”Margaret Thatcher personally covered up child abuse allegations made against one of her senior ministers, according to explosive new claims.
The Sunday People reports Tory Prime Minister is said to have held a high-powered meeting with the rising star, who was being tipped for promotion, and told him: “You have to clean up your sexual act.”
It followed an allegation that the minister had sexually abused young boys at the home of one of his political allies in 1982.
However the minister apparently ignored the warnings.
It is claimed that four years later he was spotted by police seeking young boys for sex at Victoria railway station in London.
But no action was taken.
The extraordinary claims – made to the Sunday People by a source with inside knowledge of Scotland Yard in the early 1980s – are now expected to be put before the Westminster child abuse inquiry announced last week by the Prime Minister.
They go to the very heart of claims that there was an Establishment cover-up to protect politicians , judges and police officers involved in a sick paedophile network.
David Cameron has already agreed to a full-scale investigation into historical allegations of child abuse.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/margaret-thatcher-personally-covere...
John Ward over @ The Slog has been exposing this for years now.
Why are the PTB allowing it to go mainstream now ?
Bread & Circus.... as the shit is about to hit the fan
More breaking news: Kievan Yatzi shelling hits house in Russian town, kills father of four.
http://rt.com/news/172404-russian-donetsk-shelled-victims/
Looks like Horseface or Theresa went through and gave everybody 1downvote.
Hey Idiot. Doesn't the fact you're The ONLY fucking one without a sense of humor make you reflect?
Limited hangout for all kinds of reasons. Most of those involved are dead or out of power. It gives the appearance the "press" is actually pressing the PTB and doing its job and it is cover for something else they REALLY don't want you to see.
Like getting caught committing high treason in the IRS scandal,
and caught again in the stoopid cover up???
OMIFUCKINGGOD! The dog ate all the hard drives..., well only the one's of criminals and fools.
Why are the PTB allowing it to go mainstream now ?
Jimmy Saville was not a big enough distraction from the collapsing economy?
Margaret Thatcher made repeated attempts to get Jimmy Savile knighted – despite pleas from concerned aidesSenior Whitehall mandarins repeatedly warned former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher against knighting Jimmy Savile because of long-standing concerns over his private life.
Previously unseen Cabinet Office papers reveal that suspicions about the DJ’s “strange and complex” personality were known at the highest level for decades.
Lady Thatcher – who invited the presenter to Chequers – made four attempts to appoint Savile to the knighthood before eventually succeeding in the final year of office in 1990.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/margaret-thatcher-made-rep...
I supplied a load of plant ,free of charge, to his Stoke Mandeville hospital charity,
way back when.Met Jimmy Saville half a dozen times,plus a couple of private lunches.
He seemed perfectly normal,for an obvious queer,that is.
Scary, that you just can't tell how evil some fukers are.
Churchill,
How is a queer supposed to look?
A bit like Ian Thorpe, perhaps?
https://twitter.com/hashtag/IanThorpe?src=tren
Which type ?
I knew one that was an enforcer for the Kray twins.Built like a brick outhouse.
He hung out at "The BlackCat" on Camden High St,his cover wife was a girlfriend of
mine for a while.
Saville was effeminate,off air,talked about only one woman,his mother,evinced
no interest in some very pretty ladies(groupies) surrounding him.
As a product of an English Public school,I can spot them at a thousand yards.
Shame the gaydar doesn't work on paedophiles.
Like Pee Wee Herman,
or Choomie.
Picture Obama
Is this from the Super Bowl Clydesdale ad?
Now stop that, you know better. Clydesales are beautiful horses. That one is a scrawny ugly horse, ready for the glue factory. For shame.
Yes, Clydesdales are well trained and useful.
They don't spend their entire lives pissing in the soup.
When I'm not serving in Viet Nam, or avoiding paying taxes on my yacht, I drink Douchequis.
Stay elitist, my friends.
Welcome to America
By the dumbass look on his face, I'd say he's already had a few.
No, wait-he always looks that way!
He actually looks good...
Anyway, just another academic hard at work
Why don't we get drunk and screw [the citizens].
Rand,
I don't think they need a drink for that... or that much effort, either
Be thankful,I wasn't a failed president.
TAFTA
Another media black out.
http://rt.com/news/172012-france-celebrities-protest-tafta/
And yet the US Treasury Secretary Jack Kew poured cold water on the EU requirement that the US Financial Services sector be included in TAFTA (TRANS ATLANTIC FREE TRADE AGREEMENT).
The Morgue and the Squid & F(r)iends are to be excluded from accountability to the EU.
"Did someone put a Roofy in my beer?"
Wishful thinking.
Well, I woke up Sunday morning
With no way to hold my head that doesn't make me look, like a douche
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad
So I had one more for dessert
It's on the HOUSE, BITCHEZ!!
Hey man I'm bored, wanna come over and play gijoes?
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
-Homer Simpson-
Paraphrasing the man in black and quoting Homer, you are on fire.
LTER wins several times over on this post!
Here’s to screwing friends,
tonight I'm extra special,
the beer the peasant pours,
must say 'Up-Yours!' some-how,
so tonight, tonight,
let it be Kohnbrau
Well I woke up this morning got myself a beer,
the future's uncertain and the end is always near.
He tweeted that photo himself.
John Kerry, reporting for duty...our hero...lol.
"In an expletive-charged broadside, the executive was quoted as saying: "You ... Americans! Who are you to tell us, the rest of the world, that we're not going to deal with Iranians?"
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/bruised-grumbling-foreign-banks-bend-u-rul...
Because we're the boss of the world
That guy's got something wrong with him.He seems dimwitted or touched by just being plain dumb.Is Victoria Nuland any smarter?That bitch is PMS'd bigtime.They both make good bed partners.
"I'm done, I quit and there ain't nothing you can do about it."
C’mon, stick around! Zero Hedge doesn't have a new thread yet
Road Trip! Road Trip! Road Trip!
This doesn't taste like beer.... Who Pissed in my cup!!!!! Although it does have a familiar Wang to it. :P
Can I have a beer, I'm a little horse.
Isn't his face on the bottles of Rolling Rock beer ???
I think the Germans drink their beer warm...
Or is that really a glass of Merkel's piss he is holding?
"Whaddayamean "Abraham Lincoln once said 'I will gladly hold McClellan's horse if only he would bring us success.' What's that got to do with anything? I'm just having a beer here, you fucking piece of shit, you don't have to start quoting Shakespeare on me!"
These useless pieces of shit supposedly run the world?
Scary huh? ;-)
ISEEIT "....These useless pieces of shit supposedly run the world?
What? You didn’t know that they run America, and the world?
ISEEIT
Not for much longer, they are toast.
Atomizer,
How so?
Can't say. It's coming. That's why a fourth generation Scotlander loves this country. The EU is going to have a financial assburn. Coupling the United States to help pay off the bankers leverage. That's when the dancing to a banker reality show begins.
Cable TV will have a new reality show called, dancing to a banker dodging a AR15 bullet clip spray. You dumb fucks created this mess.
You are supposed to say something funny for the caption contest...not true and depressing.
Sorry. Always enjoy your posts. Sometimes I need to unload information to help others. Generally, my rants are 3-6 months before they happen.
I love my country. Call me a asshole. We will take down these pieces of shit.
Forgot to buy milk, will have to piss in my bowel of cereal
Oi, You Talkin' to me ?
Everywhere I go, I tell world leaders what WE want THEM to do, but in the end the only thing we agree on is that 'beer is good - and people are crazy'
. . . "I drink fine imported urine from a beer glass" - John Kerry
As John looks at his beer, Merkel looks at John's puzzeled face and sez:
John, I know you are probably wondering the same thing most Germans are thinking about in this time of crisis, yes, you still have a bigger head than that head on the pint of beer that we poured in your glass.
You can lead a horse to beer but that doesn't make him a secretary....wait...you're a secretary?
Too funny
Secretariat.
Blucher!
Just horsing around with "foreighn" policy.
There's a tear in my beer
'cause I'm cryin' for you, dear
you are on my lonely mind.
Into these last nine beers
I have shed a million tears.
You are on my lonely mind
I'm gonna keep drinkin'
until I'm petrified.
And then maybe these tears
will leave my eyes.
There's a tear in my beer
cause I'm crying' for you dear
You are on my lonely mind. (Hank Williams, singing the role of the cartoon horse)
Where I live (not in the US) the politicians i.e. the thieves still have the sense to enjoy themselves behind closed doors.
You Americans should know that you are completely fucked when your politicians publicly show off the proceeds of their criminal activities. They are not even pretending to be decent or modest anymore.
What next? I wouldn’t be surprised if your next president shares a selfie on twitter showing himself doing cocaine while fucking a hooker with the hashtag “work hard play hard”.
Hey! What's the fucking country code for Ukraine.
Ms. Merkel, thank you for the mug of beer, but I only drink out of a trough.....
Hmmm...Hillary might have diabetes.
yes i prefer my own warm urine to beer.... pass the peanuts and pretzels....... burp fart
What a waste of good beer! He probably pisses blue....
The path to "prosperity" lies through stupidity, absence of heart and ignorance . Cultivating fraudulent mind and mastering the "art" of chaos is the only way they (reptiles) know how to survive.
"This beer is as weak as my foreign policy"
Actually the beer is good and the foreign policy is poison.
Zum wohl The CIA just gave me a statement to read. It says:" Ich bin ein assenstuffers nachtraum und einen dumbkopf snhweinhund erste Klasse!" I'm John Heinz Kerry von der Heiny and I approve this message! Now let's get back to work! SLURP!
OK..who pissed in my stein?
Oh...Teresa....OK.....sorry...my bad...
I'd much rather a chardonnay!
Neighhhhhh! Pbbbbbbb!
The Least Interesting Man in the World
Drinks Alone.
This bugs for you.
from the expression on his face, the telepromter he was practicing to read for the next day, didn't have i'm a decorated war vet. in the first paragraph.
Good end to a long face.
Angie when this is over, do you want to go to Paraguay or Argentina? Don't worry we will seal the bunker for 150 years.
Why not brew a NWO Beer, John?
"Bonesman Beer: When You Really Feel Dry, Demonic & Diabolical"
Bush and Kerry - always brewing up some new shit - along with the rest of the scum (Hitlery, Barry, Reid, McCain etc)
"You can never buy beer, you can only rent it."
Archie Bunker
It is great! Got more than u! Smarter than you! More money than u! WHY??? Because I got a TAXPAYER CARD and I'M SUCKING u assholes dry. Don't like it? FUCK YOU Your powerless. Free HEALTHCARE, BBig pension. Sucking you assholes dry. And your powerless....
I didn't steal your beer Wilbur.
There once was a nave named John Kohn
with a face like a horse made of stone
he married for money
he looks very funny
so he has a beer goggles ap on his phone.
You know what I'm going to do when I finish this beer? I'm giving this fucking job back to Hillary and retiring in Vienna.
On a long enough time line, all of the worlds gold will be mine.
"I'd like to propose a toast to America. This Bud's for you...... Bunch of suckers".
You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make him drink.
I'll let Jim Morrison handle this one
I woke up this morning and got myself a beer
The future's uncertain and the end is always near
"Good end to long days"
Great !!!
But what did you accomplish ? !
Kohn in Vienna.
Well in every case I left the city for this weekend