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At Least Wall Street Has A Sense Of Humor

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Presented with no commentary but an awful sense of deja vu all over again...

 

Goldman Sachs GDP 'forecasts'... sometimes you just have to laugh

 

And the consensus GDP forecasts... or cry

 

It appears that as much as broad swathes of America have tumbled into exuberant mediocrity - celeberating nothing more than participation with trophies the size of small buses for kids who managed to don a soccer uniform and breathe in and out for 60 minutes a week - the Wall Street strategist/economist has been reduced to the same - an extrapolating, don't stray far from the herd, mean-reverting, status-quo-supporting mass of mediocrity... and their trophies... million-dollar salaries (no matter how many times they screw up and are proved entirely wrong)

 

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Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:04 | 4953263 Leonardo Fibonacci2
Leonardo Fibonacci2's picture

Insane asylum is full so they created Wall Street!!  Everybody is going Coo Coo on Wall Street chasing the same carrot.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:39 | 4953345 knukles
knukles's picture

When the going gets tough, the tough Göetz going

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:46 | 4953361 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Deutschland, ausgezeichnet!!!!

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 05:37 | 4954746 amadeus39
amadeus39's picture

Off subject, but why aren't financial markets 24/7?  Many casinos are. With electronic trading in place, this would seem a no brainer.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:03 | 4953267 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

You just tell the lie over and over......the muppets are too stupid to even notice

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:16 | 4953287 Fish Gone Bad
Fish Gone Bad's picture

MSM (mainstream media) is talking its book.  People aren't stupid.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:46 | 4953355 SuperRay
SuperRay's picture

"people aren't stupid"

The zapruder film shows kennedy being shot in the right front part of his head - people 'question' the warren commission report, but do nothing

Reagan takes 'full responsibility' for iran-contra.  People do nothing

The S&L crisis in the 80's - people do nothing

on and on and on and on and on, right up to 9/11, the boston massacre, sandy hook, the 'immigration crisis'...

But 'people aren't stupid.'  What's it gonna take before you wake up.  People aren't just stupid - They're fucking stupid!!

 

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 18:09 | 4953420 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

+3.2 in Q2, ay?  I'd like to know what manufacturing BOOM in America is supposed to have taken place since end of Q1 to make that happen!

Especially, considering that -2.9 in Q1 is the government number, when in actuality, all real indicators show that it was actually around -5.9 to -6.0. 

So we would need a +9.0 swing to the upside from the end of Q1 in order to achieve +3.2 (the manipulated gov't number) by the end of Q2, huh? 

Hmmm...should be real interesting to see how that could happen given only 500,000 full time jobs created in the service industry, no manufacturing or construction worth mentioning.  And 800,000 more part time jobs...in the service industry. 

Tack on the real inflation numbers (not the lying government numbers), and inflation has been upwards of 9 to 10%. 

And these people are supposed to be such geniuses that they can just put out a prediciton of +3.0 across the board and think anyone is supposed to believe that?

They...have...heard...of...ZeroHedge, before...haven't they?

Why not just give the real numbers from now on???  It's not like 90% of the sheeple listen to any of this or have the ability to understand what it means anyway. 

Just tell the truth...the sheeple don't know what the truth is just as much as they don't know what the lies are.  Even if the government broadcast the real numbers from now on, with the rest of the system and populace so completely apathetic and scarily dumbed down, I'm sure that barely 10% of them would wake up in time before the collapse. 

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 18:33 | 4953535 manofthenorth
manofthenorth's picture

SPOT ON ! Sad but true. I imagine that the bovines lined up in the chute at the slaughter house have a better sense of the impending darkness headed their way than the average educated American. Normalcy bias has captured otherwise intelligent individuals and rendered them incapable of independent critical thinking. We all carry our necessary illusions into the world with us every day but most people seem to be crippled by them. Many illusions will fall under the weight of real conditions on the ground in the not too distant future is the conclusion that seems most likely.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 18:38 | 4953557 Keyser
Keyser's picture

GDP calculation will be revised to include $$$ spent on illegal aliens to be shepherded through the ins and outs of becoming newly minted democratic voters... That should send US GDP to new all-time highs...

 

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 20:08 | 4953810 barre-de-rire
barre-de-rire's picture

sheeple = 98% of the masses.

 

why give reals numbers for 2%, they will just say " oh oh, problem " then a panic wind blow on the country then you have riots.

it is very political behavior to act titanic musicians like, ( if you look more precisly, one difference, they  make music, but on the safteyboat just near the titanic, givving illusion they are with you in same boat, but they are just accompagny you like a lullaby for a child above the cradle. )

 

any thoughts about freddy krugger at this exact moment is a normal feeling prooving you are matrix unplugged people.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 18:25 | 4953498 drstrangelove73
drstrangelove73's picture

They are stupid,and this is how you can tell.
They re-elected the most incompetent,mediocre president in the history of the republic.
3 things we now know about American voters:they are stupid,fat,and lazy.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:38 | 4953744 barre-de-rire
barre-de-rire's picture

never under estimate a dumbfuck sheeple, when mistake done twice, the hillary - trice - clinton is never far away.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 23:54 | 4954485 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

You mean DIEBOLD elected and for all that could run, under common funding from Goldman, JP Morgan & the mafia Banksters, Monsanto & Pfizer + Eli Lily?

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:27 | 4953716 One And Only
One And Only's picture

Oswald killed kennedy. End of story.

The government investigatetd and found the truth.

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 03:30 | 4954680 litemine
litemine's picture

You just Proved his point.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:31 | 4953324 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Are these forecasts prepared in Colorado?

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:55 | 4953787 bitterwolf
bitterwolf's picture

Yup, Inline with the obummers new hope :the new WEED economy....delivered over the internets for all you hedgies lookin fer a new angle.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:32 | 4953728 bitterwolf
bitterwolf's picture

So true. Amazing really in this age of ubiquitous and unfettered (for now) information access that the masses are still...well..the masses. Some things never change I suppose. How ever the intellectual burgeoisie have the aforementioned internets and two great predictive modeling tools to use ,"The Prince" and the Roman Empire annotated to anticipate the vagaries of the elite.

Cheers

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:55 | 4953782 barre-de-rire
barre-de-rire's picture

internet is nothing more that an evolution of the television with a concept of interacting. same methods. same rendering on masses. the illusion of freedom makes you feel powerful to go grab info YOU CHOOSE TO READ, so you do not have impartial information ( from tv neither, ther are chosen for you ),   the very behavior indicates you just self re-jail yourself onto your own convictions.. internet is the most dangerous tool humanity invented but still do not have answers about the consequences.

 

after 50 years of tv, concepts are done, with internet,  if you have a memory,  years ago you could have a mailbox without linking it to a phone number... after 15-20 years now, the govs forclose step by step the lil amount of libery  just because.................. it become monetized. adverts.... etc... free mail ? ok give number, then they sell listings.

 

facebook, most complete database any CIA Like never was able to collect. the big /S ? concept of offering the empty structure, the sheeple will full it. then  you just have to kneel to grab the informations.... photos, hobby, localisations...

have you ever tried , world wide, to buy a more than 1000$ on internet withouyt having a phone ? the visa securitas sending text code confirm protocol... no phone, no buy ( france )

 

every thing getting closer & closer on the freedoms.  this planet NEED, MUST BE UNPLUGGED.

 

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 23:05 | 4954368 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Given the TV couldn't be set up to automatically screen content & abstract it in databases in cyclic or networked patterns with other TV's, plus the human interaction, this means TV has just about NOTHING in common with the Internet.

Please stop consulting the Al Gore Compendium on how he Invented the Internet to work like TV.

If you'd care to notice - the publisher is the Derek Zoolander Skool for Kidz who can't Speak Truth or stop stealing and other Bad Stuffz....

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 22:57 | 4954339 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

but... electrolytes!

The MSM's got what sheeple craaaave!

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 04:08 | 4954698 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

exactly, the only correct answer is buy more e-minis. 

 

all they do is go higher so its a no brainer.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:15 | 4953284 Da Yooper
Da Yooper's picture

The GDP are not like the Federal Government

 

They cant spend money they dont have

 

&

 

GET away with it

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:15 | 4953286 maneco
maneco's picture

Goldman Sachs also predicted that Brazil would beat Argentina in the final of the World Cup by a score of 3 x 1!

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:34 | 4953333 Leonardo Fibonacci2
Leonardo Fibonacci2's picture

Lloyd Blankfein should resign due to that error!

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:37 | 4953342 Bioscale
Bioscale's picture

Hahaha.. looks like Germany is going to beat Argentina 1:0.

Now the FED guys can say: you already got some gold from Brasil, you don't need more!

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 18:09 | 4953440 maneco
maneco's picture

The trophy is 6.1 kilos of 18 karat gold which is 6.1 kilos more than the U.S. Treasury has!

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:39 | 4953347 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

Every one I know in the Hamptons is doing great. Even skiing in Chile last month, all I met were positive people.

There will always be bitter clinger losers.

Signed,
Mid Level Squid

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:46 | 4953357 SuperRay
SuperRay's picture

I see a nail gun in your future...

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:55 | 4953375 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

You hit an interesting point that is often overlooked (or deliberately ignored) on ZH boards.  The wealthy elite got that way by clawing and cheating their way to the top in a system that rewards ruthlessness and unethical behavior.  That is how human societies work.  It is the way we have been structured as a species since the beginning of time.  A small group of people take most of the wealth and power by force.  The crony in our current version of capitalism will always be there in some form or another.  It's inevitable because there is always someone to bribe, or someone to collude with, or someone to cheat and steal from.  And there will always be sociopaths who will find a way to make it to the top on the backs of others and at the expense of others.  It amazes me that the same people who resent the bankers for exploiting the system also cry foul when guys like me suggest we should take back their ill-gotten gains and develop a different system that would prevent the accumulation of oligarchic wealth and ensure real checks and balances on power, because it would be too "socialist."

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 18:11 | 4953445 Stock Jobber
Stock Jobber's picture

Maybe because you propose to solve the problem of too much government with more government?  Your basic point of view, that humanity is fundamentally evil and therefore must be controlled by your "different system", sounds like the preamble to a pitch for facism...

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 18:30 | 4953508 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

No, I want much smaller government, and we already have fascism because we have an unchecked oligarchy.  And I don't think humanity is fundamentally evil.  I think there are sociopaths who are, and who tend to run things when given the freedom to do so.  In my view, government of the people is essential to keeping them in check.  What we have now is government of the oligarchs, which is the natural progression of allowing great wealth to concentrate in the hands in the few.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:21 | 4953700 One And Only
One And Only's picture

The US constitution

...but if only.

I do see your point about human nature. Inescapable.

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 05:32 | 4954741 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

The problem resides in the fact that we already have laws (Supposedly to prevent that which has happened from happening.)

 

If the people are ignorant of the law, if the people do not want enforcement of the law, and if the knowledgable people actually benefit from their complicity to the oligarchy, at the expense of the ignorant, then what chance is there of any law passed of actually having teeth?

 

There is not one chance in hell of that happening. Not one.

 

You are seeking a Political Solution. THERE ARE NO POLITICAL SOLUTIONS. Society will not allow for it because they are kept ignorant.

 

Unfortunately self interest is where most are at. (Perhaps that is the optimal strategy for survival at this point...that is IF you want to survive.) 

 

Personally I certainly do not have trust in my Government. I have absolutely NO Faith in it. I have NO CONFIDENCE IN IT OR THE ISSUED CURRENCY.

 

Of course I believe that people are animals with a spirit. But when that spirit is dead then they behave as animals and are operant from that perspective.

 

Well the spirit is dead in most people as they walk around like ZOMBIES. (What does that term mean? Ever think about it? Does it mean...WALKING DEAD???)

 

Go shopping at Wal Mart if you do not believe that. Walk into a Casino and watch them mindlessly gamble. Go into a Bar and watch them drink. Better yet go into a ghetto and watch them blow their minds with drugs.

 

And if you are still not convinced then watch them as they watch their TeeVee Sets. They are fucking hypnotized ZOMBIES with DEAD SPIRITS.

 

They do not read. They know NOTHING about what we write as we write the requiem of a DYING NATION.

 

Maybe humanity is not fundamentally evil. But humanity is, for the most part, fundamentally DEAD.

 

Wake up.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 18:34 | 4953537 drstrangelove73
drstrangelove73's picture

Aw,say,I LIKE being ruled over by the Count of Microsoft,Bill gates.I don't mind paying the onerous taxes his worthless software compels me to pay,and to the Duke of Apple.
And I really enjoy 4dollar a gallon gas so the Earl of Buffett can profit from his railroads,rather than building an old Keystone pipeline.And I do not mind at all that the Duke of Adelson wants to flood the country with illegal aliens he can hire to use as serfs at his resorts.
That's just the way it is.
This is for our own good.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 22:55 | 4954331 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

You know keystone is for export & can't at all drop gasoline prices in America, right?

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 07:44 | 4954848 de3de8
de3de8's picture

Still true that Buffet profiting on the cronyism and getting away with killing innocent bystanders.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 18:49 | 4953591 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

LTER -

Did you post on the wrong thread, or do you see Oligarchics in your sleep?

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 18:21 | 4953486 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

Home owners insurance all paid up?

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:46 | 4953359 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Thirteen knots...no more, no less.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:48 | 4953364 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

goldman nutsachs strike again

 

 

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 17:54 | 4953372 Haole
Haole's picture

How many of us would want to go long Managed Public Perception at this point anyway though...

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 18:17 | 4953471 goose fat
goose fat's picture

You can actively influence this "market".  Go long truth.

http://www.thewarningsecondcoming.com/when-you-take-away-the-truth-or-ta...

 

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 18:24 | 4953497 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

And the stink of hopium fills the executive washroom as they circle jerk. 

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 18:30 | 4953523 jubber
jubber's picture

...and US futures have gapped up on the open, after a weekend of geopolitical carnage in israel & Ukraine...obviously the European Banks have all been fixed as all European Indexes all bright green?????

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:15 | 4953678 hairball48
hairball48's picture

"...It appears that as much as broad swathes of America have tumbled into exuberant mediocrity - celeberating nothing more than participation with trophies the size of small buses for kids who managed to don a soccer uniform and breathe in and out for 60 minutes a week..."

So true....and a really sad commentary on today's society.

Glad I'm old...

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:24 | 4953709 AdvancingTime
AdvancingTime's picture

The term "the new normal" has not been used much as of late, but going forward it may be about to return. Many investors and the public at large may be about to realize that central banks can only do so much through printing money and lowering interest rates. Both these actions carry with them some very strong and nasty side effects.

Markets have become very distorted as money has flowed into risky assets in search of higher yields. It could be we are about to see the markets morph into a "realizing market", one that grinds slowly downward. Another possibility is that at some point the wisdom of buying every pullback changes and the market simply drops like a stone. More on what the future might hold in the article below.

http://brucewilds.blogspot.com/2013/06/realistic-expectations-for-econom...

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 22:47 | 4954304 MeelionDollerBogus
MeelionDollerBogus's picture

Green shewwwwwts!!

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:31 | 4953726 barre-de-rire
barre-de-rire's picture

 most funny graphic from years

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 19:58 | 4953793 youngman
youngman's picture

You have to know that GS makes money on the spread...so if the inflation was really 10%...but they are telling you 2%...you know why now...its all about money to them...your money...they want you to get into the casino so they can steal your money...leagally of course...cheating is allowed in this casino...just ask a HFT

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 21:07 | 4953982 Offthebeach
Offthebeach's picture

Gods work is expensive.

Sun, 07/13/2014 - 21:26 | 4954044 Freedumb
Freedumb's picture

Why stop at 3%? May as well just start producing consistent non-inflation adjusted double digit percentage GDP estimates

Mon, 07/14/2014 - 07:29 | 4954831 Last of the Mid...
Last of the Middle Class's picture

Can 't believe americans aren't GDPing to consensus. It's a shame actually. Where have all the good spend to your credit limit decent americans gone? It's your responsibility to find 3 or more part time jobs, get those credit cards a charging, we need more universities pumping out grads at $100,000 debt per and get those fucking little kids from guatamala on snap cards right now, Wally world needs the sales to match last years per quarter. Damn irresponsible people.

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