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Want To Buy A Tank? Here's How
Dreamed of driving a "Deathstalker"? Always wanted to drive an M3 Light Tank over your neighbor's car parked in your driveway? Well, now's your chance... As Bloomberg reports, on July 11, a portion of the world’s largest private collection of tanks and historic military vehicles will be up for auction. Former Silicon Valley engineer, Jacques Littlefield, bought his first tanks in the 1980’s and by the time of his death in 2009, he had acquired more than 200 vehicles.
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Great, I was looking for the perfect vehicle to "navigate" Atlanta traffic ...
Should work ... except in Roswell
I had a neighbor who bought a tank. He use to go fox hunting with it.
I think they made a movie about him, but I'm not going to pay to see it.
I already saw it first hand. Not a bad idea though. Next time someone
lets their dog poop on my lawn and doesn't pick it up-" KABOOM "
"Want to buy a tank?"
"No, tanks..."
In Iraq you are not buy tank, just scare Iraq security forces. They are even leave engine running for commandeer.
Boris,
I love your stuff. I'd vote for you for President. If you will make me Minister of Marijuana. Si O no?
Do the come with ammo?
I toured this guy's collection before. It is impressive. When I was there he had at least five [American] football field sized steel buildings (and more being built) filled with various military vehicles, including 50 ton tanks and a decommissioned SCUD missile.
I am Chumbawamba.
Ammo is heavy as hell. I don't think the Minister of Marijuana, or his staff, would have the inclination to get off the couch and even move it. Even getting a boxcutter or crowbar to open the boxes/crates is energy wasted otherwise needed to sign the check for the pizza.
Wouldn't you rather be ADminister of Marijuana?
General of Ganja?
Can i be minister of silly walks?
If you are speak in silly English accent.
Hunting fox with a tank is overkill. Try a little JR terrier, they love it, bring a shovel.
Harbanger...my neighbor was John DuPont, Look him up online. No joke, the crazy bastard had a tank.
It's amazing how a hooker took out the google guy.
Exactly. We need more politically aware hookers.
Having a tank is no big deal, it's what you do with it that counts.
John DuPont was an amateur compared to this player.
-Chumblez.
San Diego Police shot that guy dead after the Tank was stopped and no longer a threat. There was no trial. It was a very public execution with no public outcry.
Yeah..so much for due process. So much for those Constitutional Rights.
But that was okay because Obama was not President at the time. Right?
Good video and...Thanks for the reminder.
Maybe some here may see the inconsistency in their own belief ststems. Fat fucking chance.
I am looking forward to the downarrows as you cannot justify your support. But it will NOT CHANGE THE TRUTH ABOUT THE CHARACTER DEFICIENCES THAT ARE EXHIBITED BY MANY HERE.
Right?
I guess the moral of the story is, making the police state look stupid is a death sentence.
More importantly... We can imbed video on ZH now!?!?!? Sweet!!!!
I gotta try it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDqNLrOd_SY
Ahhh WTF? Is chumba special or does he know a Jedi imbedding secret?
Chumba is a Contributing Columnist. He is special.
He has the priveleges of WilliamBazai7 (who is MIA ???) and Hedgeless Horseman.
76 mm is probably OK. 105 mm and up is just way too much gun in my opinion.
probably not going to do so well down ponce de leon either, my tahoe barely fits
You care if they shoot back in the Tahoe.
I bet somewhere right now, Michael Dukakis is having a little orgasm.
Only kind he's ever had.
Stop comparing. When are we gonna start making babies lola?
Michael Duchekakas will never be able to look at a tank without feeling peevish and embarrassed.
Him & Jane Fonda.
Can't afford a used one because of all the taxes to pay for the new ones that also belong to someone else.
Someone is leveraging assets
/sarc
I'll wait for the Lexus Landlandler
Canyonaero
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZeFDe44Ddo
Must be a GM vehicle.
I've already bought all the tanks, airplanes, ships, and arms. I'm an american taxpayer.
That's the great part, because they don't belong to us. We pay taxes for the MIC that protects the MIC.
Yeah whatever... I don't even know why they still need to collect our taxes, to meet a budget? No way, they can print all the $ want, it's just a way to fuck over what's left of the middle class, BiTCHEZ.
So if a civil war ever erupts do you plan on walking onto Fix Bragg and saying "Ohh no you don't. We paid for these. These are ours! Get your own goddamn tanks!", and then hop in and drive off?
Hey, D.C. District of Criminals, here I come.
This will piss off the gun lobby. Right to bear tanks?
The right to bear arms was not a restriction on the arms that one could bear.
In fact Private Citizens, when the fledgling Republic was born, OWNED Cannon. Some owned Warships outfitted with Cannon. That was STATE OF THE ART back then. Even the Government did not want to tangle with a private citizen who owned a cannon. Yes. Liberty was great for a little while.
Anyway the owners of Warships were very instrumental in harassing the British Fleet during the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812. They were called PRIVATEERS. (Today we call them mercernaries, Guns for Hire.)
If you captured a British Merchant Ship THEN it, and the Cargo, became YOUR PROPERTY. Many got rich doing this.
So...I want a MIRV with an ICBM. I can take care of a lot of World problems with that.
May I suggest you set coordinates for Tel Aviv when the winds are blowing from NNW?
And take out Riyadh, Saudi Arabia too....Hmmmmm....
Well I did specify a MIRV...Multiple Warheads....While we are at it I think that I can erase Somalia and Oman if the trajectory is correct.
I am restricted by the Laws of Orbital Mechanics.
Everyone has the right to a tank.
I want a subsidy for mine ;-)
Obamatank? I'm searching autozone right now for fitting spinner rims.
They are right next to the banana cognac air fresheners
I'm kind of new to the government handouts thing -- not being poor or a banker or part of the MIC or the intelligence services -- so could you clarify? Where is the banana cognac air freshener aisle in relation to the gray poupon air fresher aisle?
They're over on aisle five here at ObamaMart, right above the Rent-a-Spinner Wheels for a night out on the town with a favorite ho.
its next to the dashboard vase. Flower Power, the power to rule the earth, and there'll be a great reverse, etc.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxD7MeMrnQU
When you try to start the engine on an Obamatank, they won't turn over. You have to send for a "special" mechanic who specializes in them {his wife went to school with Michele} that costs 5X's the norm because it is solar powered. Even then there are more delays. Once you do get it started, you discover it only makes left turns. Then there is that factory rainbow camouflage. But the worse part, is that it doesn't have a gun, because guns are evil. So what is it good for you ask? Makes a great float in a "Pride" parade!
No worries!! Just find your local CIA station chief and offer your service to overthrow some random ME country (except SA or Israel). You will get the keys to lots of cool toys. Bring friends and they will even train you!!
if youre driving a vehicle that weighs over 4500 lbs and you a) have under 6 occupants and b) arent towing anything and c) you arent using its toolbox that day, you really need to ask youself, why am i so unhappy with size of my dick? and if the thing is lifted, you need to come to terms with you homosexuality and stop overcompensating...
Project much? Sometimes a man just wants to shoot a machine gun or drive a tank. Why does everything have to have some underlying motivation? Do you not do anything in your life "just because"?
agreed. i love my 14 mpg z-71 tahoe, on its 33 inch tires, and its nice, shiny paint. It sits up high, and if some moron hits me while texting or eating a cheese burger, Ill probably win. keeps the little kid safe, and the wife safe too. Have fun in your dumbass subcompact....
more likely you'll be upside down in a ditch. drive safe. and stay the fuck off my ass....
And that's what usually happens with vehicles with a high center of gravity. Just witnessed a little Saturn t bone a big Dodge Ram pickup. Turned the Dodge completely upside down on it's roof 33 inch wheels and all. Saturn came out on top so to speak with repairable front end damage.
And they swerve to miss a baby duck...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqTKZgEW8pM
@Smackdaddy
Sooo that explains all the F-450s dualies 4x4 twin turbo diesel with the tractor trailer exhaust stacks and the five foot lift kits I've seeing pop up around here like mushrooms lately. Thanks.
http://flatbiller.com
I would love one of those and ain't compensating for shit. 6'5" full head of hair, fit, hot GF and endowed. Kinda blows that stupid theory to shit doesn't it?
SmackDaddy, It's NOT a dick-size issue, hell, I still drive a 24yr old Mercury by choice. But I would love a tank! Wife and I agree it's probably not a good idea, as we've discussed my "list" and it sure as hell doesn't start with my neighbor's car.
How the heck did they get even one tank, much less 200, up to Portola Valley?
Money talks. Serfs walk.
First of all, I fucking hate autoplay videos. It's like some fucking street beggar coming up to you asking for money. Then you have to tell him/her to fuck off. Anyway, I fucking forgot what I even wanted to say.
Stop the fucking autoplay videos on this site!!! For fucks sake. This isn't Business Insider.
Every browser has a method to kill autoplay. Doing so made me stop talking like you are now. I feel your pain brother.
I actually run the Firefox browser with NoScript installed. I made the mistake of loading this page in IE. I don't care if I can view this page problem-free in Firefox. I can do the same with the Business Insider website. But I don't hold the BI website in as high a regard as I do the ZH site. This site is popular for its spam-free, information-filled content. What does it say about the site when they are using auto-play bullshit in their articles? The site administrators should shut this practice down immediately.
Spam free my ass. I love this site too, but it's pretty far from spam free. I run Firefox with ghostery, and every now and then I have to disable the blocking to get a site to load, and I came back to this site with it still off- 74 tracking cookies popped up. Literally the most I have ever seen on any website. The Tyler's may bash google and the rest of them for aiding in govt spying, but they will sure as he'll take their money.
They NEEDS your money.
ZH does not run for free.
The Tyler's may bash google and the rest of them for aiding in govt spying, but they will sure as he'll take their money.
You are looking at this in the wrong way. Google is paying the Tylers to bash them and trash them.
It is a little ironic dontcha thunk?
It is kinda like....er....um....you paying taxes so that your Government can spy on you.
Well the Tylers kinda...sorta...like...flip flopped the game on Google.
LMAO.
First of all, I fucking hate autoplay videos. It's like some fucking street beggar coming up to you asking for money. Then you have to tell him/her to fuck off. Anyway, I fucking forgot what I even wanted to say.
Stop the fucking autoplay videos on this site!!! For fucks sake. This isn't Business Insider.
Learn to do your own research. You are one of the laziest whiners on this comment board.
http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/change-autoplay-settings#1TC=windows-7
That should help you get rid of YOUR OWN PROBLEM.
Now I will expect a "Fuck You" from you for helping you.
Another way to get cheap tanks is to be Israel. You just call over to the DOD where someone, maybe even a dual citizen, will find some stock and move it to the 'surplus' ledger.
Works for latest generation fighter jets, as well, even the ones which by law we aren't supposed to sell to anyone else.
Sadly, Duffy ain't no quack.
Duffy, The Saudi and Sri Lankan arms dealers will hook anybody up with ANY type of arms, all you need is a letter from your Govt. Kinda like a note from home to go on a field trip.
Its the "Special Relationship" Duffy. Whenever I hear that prase on the media I just wish we weren't on the bottom!
"I NEED SIXTEEN DOWN HERE ON THE DOUBLE!" - Barney Fife, Mayberry
What is Goldman Sachs' address again?
Goldman Sachs
101 Assream Ave.
Southern Hell
66666-6666
I heard that's where they're moving to soon.
What is Goldman Sachs' address again?
What WAS Goldman Sachs' address again?
FIFY.
"Always wanted to drive an M3 Light Tank over your neighbor's car parked in your driveway?"
Yes. Yes I do. I would love to add that to my capabilities list.
Do any of them have guns that swivel high enough to knock out a drone? I'm in.
True story: One time I was late for work and the guy next door left his car blocking my driveway (again). No time, so I released the brake on his car and let it roll down the hill about 50' in the vacant lot next door. Felt great! If I get held up at the gates of heaven for that one I have no apologies.
Tanks Bitchez !!
My problem is I can't quite afford teh diesel. What about the cost of munitions...oh my.
I really wanna be in, but I'm out. A couple of cocktails in the sunroof and your burning in your own piss and sweaty donkey ass hair . Peeyoooo !
You CAN AFFORD THE DIESEL. You just drive it up to that Gas Station and say that you want a fill up now. They will require no cash and they will not be arguing with you.
Tanks without ammo are useless. Now if somebody has a fully loaded model, within 25 miles of DC, I'm interested.
Tanks without ammo are useless? Really?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2gQ2a6EtX8
Great bug out escape vehicle! Jump in one of those suckers and the only ones that could pry the lid off would be the military or the criminal horde with cutting torches. Good luck with a cutting torch on a moving tank with cannon turret playing stick ball. No ammo needed.
A couple of months ago there was a story about a guy that found a small stash of old tanks in So. America. He was working on getting them into the US and restoring them before offering some of them for sale.
Too bad they are so expensive, I'd be a buyer.
Molotov cocktail
Or properly placed thermite grenade
A Boeing 767-223ER!
With Depleted Uranium which is missing from a University in Iraq. Gotcha covered.
Like Hillary Clinton, they're "...workin' hard.." getting that "DEATHSTALKER" into your children's dreams that's for sure. Tanks Arnold. Tanks Dick. Tanks Neo-cons and Neo liberals alike! And tank you America! WE're FREE (of baby sitting)!
Mani rolls up to the town hall.
To the Board of Review: You said me taxes are so high because????
It would be funny but I might have to resort to doing something like this. Maybe I will just buy another old tractor with a loader. I do not need the guns, I need the hydraulics. I am guessing those who piss all of our money away didn't ride bicycles to the town hall.
Does one need a background check to own an operational Sherman M-4A?
You don't want a M4A, you want a M4E8. Trust me.
Better yet an operational Panther. Also a 75mm gun but longer range, sloping armor and looks way cooler!
you know, if you happen to have interest in military hardware and have been to a number of military museums , perhaps say the imperial war museum in london or the airforce 'museum' hangar in be'er sheva israel of the military museum in DC.
OLD hardware may look cool and what not, but it's the newest shit that is actually killing human beings and making war. and therefor, is way more exciting as well as terrifying to look at.
at a museum what you see is a collection of old pathetic killing machines that people used to be scared of. nothing has changed, but the technology. but that, as a consequence, is everything!.
which is why its way cooler to go to an airshow or a tank demonstration than a museum. whoever buys this shit just has too much money, because if they wanted real military hardwware that was functioning they could buy that!
Do tanks have access to the HOV lanes? I can imagine that traffic stop.
"sir, step out of the vehicle"
"hmmm, no?"
"sir, if you do not immediately step out of the vehicle, i will be forced to create a situation that will result in a lot of death and destruction, show up on the news and accomplish nothing"
*swivels turret*
"your move officer"
Either that or,
"Officer, you are not moving because I ran out of fuel and accidentally blocked you in. But hey, I paid my property taxes. Do you have a spare hondo so I can get some gas/diesel to get this thing moving again? And do you happen to have a goverment approved fuel container that does not leak and spill half of the fuel on the ground? If so, I will be glad to get out of your way."
I wonder what they would say to that? The look on their face would be worth it. Probably not the obstruction of Just Us ticket you would get though.
An M3 Lee could be far more cool.
No thanks. Think I'll stick to bonds. Lots more destructive power in those.
If it's made by GM I want new brake lines and ignition switch.
Another example of the 1%ers not doing anything useful or prudent with the money they make overcharging us for goods
If the 1%ers or .001%ers make their money ethically (like start Youtube and cash out for a billion) then if they want to spend THEIR money on expensive playthings then that is their perogative (although funding things like medical research would be better).
To bitch about how they spend money is a sign of envy or socialism (or both).
I can see the 1%ers using that excuse during the French revolution. My point is that, when things turn, people aren't going to care whether you overcharged your customers ethically or not, they will chop heads off anyway
I'll take a T-34, please.
(As far as historical value goes, that is the tank to beat!)
Not for me, I want an Abrahms. The diesel is long gone, Honeywell retrofitted them with a jet turbine. Besides, with the laser sighting, they never miss.
Abrahms had turbine engines from the git go. One of the original benefits of that was you didn't have a huge pume of black smoke rise up when you fired them up while they were lagered under cover in European forests.
Pops got to drive them when they were the XM1 (X = Experimental) under developement. At their teething time they were getting 92-93% hit accuracy at targets 2 miles away while doing 20-30 mph over uneven terrain. We have still not lost one in tank on tank combat, I think their record is something like 2600-0 :-) Back in the day he remarked that if the Soviets came through the Fulda Gap, they were going to be in for a BIG surprise...
No M1 has ever been destroyed by another main battle tank in combat. Based on Iraq experience, they are nearly impossible to destroy when disabled to prevent their falling into enemy hands. One was destroyed by an IED consisting of an anti tank mine along with about a half ton of explosives and some 155 mm artillery rounds.
are you kidding me, my M-103 eats T-34's for breakfast, lunch and dinner all day every day in WOT...
Question: how many Abrams' guns and firecontrol systems have ISIS by now sold to China and Russia?
buy a tank????
i thought you meant GOLD AND SILVER
It would be pretty hard to loose a tank in a boating accident....
I really, really want a T-95 super heavy tank, slower than molasses but with a 155 mm cannon and 305 mm of frontal armor it could handle any traffic situation you may run into. plus it just looks absolutely badass, death on tracks...
others on my wish list would be a Tiger, an IS-7, a T-62, an M-48 Patton and a British Conqueror.
oh yeah and a M50/55 self propelled arty just in case I wanted to blow shit up without leaving the driveway...