This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

And Now The White House Is On Lockdown

Tyler Durden's picture




 

A day that couldn't get any more bizarre, just did.

  • WHITE HOUSE PLACED ON LOCKDOWN, ABC NEWS TWEETS

Why, was Obama trying to run away?

* * *

Update: It's all good, Obama is not running away:

  • WHITE HOUSE LOCKDOWN FOR ’UNATTENDED PACKAGE’: FLY CITES ABC
 

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Thu, 07/17/2014 - 15:58 | 4969724 Kalevi
Kalevi's picture

Shit, better go to the bank.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 15:59 | 4969736 synergize
synergize's picture

I think Israel told Obama to go to his room...

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:01 | 4969749 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

aren't barry and mike on the vineyard?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:05 | 4969782 Hapa
Hapa's picture

maybe time to hit the links, out to lunch, you know...

or maybe we're getting ready for a bank holiday this weekend

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:19 | 4969883 pods
pods's picture

Unattended package?

<chuckle>

pods

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:21 | 4969900 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Yeah, I hear you.  My package needs to be looked after as well...

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:40 | 4970014 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

LOL

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:24 | 4970205 XenoFrog
XenoFrog's picture

Don't worry. They cancelled Obama's only meeting of the day and he went to an emergency fundraiser.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:35 | 4970248 rbg81
rbg81's picture

Lock down or no lockdown, Obama still needs time to be Obama.  Regardless of what is happening in the world, he will always make time for golf, selfies, drugs (weed or coke), playing pool or gay sex with celebrities.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 19:00 | 4970699 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

In the good old days they'd execute the JEEP and everyone would get out of dodge.  I kinda have mixed feelings about these asshats sheltering in place.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 20:25 | 4971140 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"In the good old days they'd execute the JEEP and everyone would get out of dodge.  I kinda have mixed feelings about these asshats sheltering in place."

I'm all for discouraging critical thinking in this case.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 22:33 | 4971700 MontgomeryScott
MontgomeryScott's picture

"WHITE HOUSE LOCKDOWN FOR ’UNATTENDED PACKAGE’: FLY CITES ABC"

I live in a white house.

I sometimes order stuff, and it is delivered and left on my back porch. I suppose I should take the proper precautions and evacuate the white house that I live in when I get home and find an 'unattended package' on my back doorstep (if I see something, SAY something! THANKS, JANET NAPOLITANO! I WILL!).

Naturally, if the UPS or USPS 'attendant' is not there to 'attend' to my packages, I have to ASSUME that it is 'unattended', and will from now on immediately get my robot (or my less-than-intelligent neighbor who also happens to be a 'peace officer') to take the package out to the back yard and blow it up while I hunker in my bunker.

SHIT! I forgot! I just ordered 5,000 rounds of ammo! that stuff cost me a boatload of feds! WAIT, don't...

Too late.

 The closed-casket ceremony was quite emotionally moving (except for the motorcycle cops posed aiming their radar guns to track the speed of the casket as it was being lowered They compared readings, and I heard figures like 'almost a quarter-mile an hour').

The openly gay president and his transvestite wife (Joan Rivers, et.al) seemed to have forgotten that they had ordered this month's supply of sex toys from Victoria's Secret. The smell of phalates and the 'real-skin' fragments (sticky with Doc Johnson's Anal Lube) are now scattered all over the White House south lawn.

Secret Service agents are, even now, placing an order for a case of latex gloves so that they can clean up the residue. Hopefully, there will be someone present to 'attend' to the delivery of this package.

I'm all for discouraging critical thinking in this case.

Taking out anger on inanimate objects such as JEEPS seems to be a sign of emotional weakness (kind of like punching walls when the old lady tells you you have a 'little winkie' for the 451st time in your miserable life). If I recall, DODGE BOUGHT JEEP, so if one wanted to 'get out of DODGE', would one also have to EXECUTE their JEEP? Would punching a hole in the oil pan and letting the oil leak out be called 'WET WORK' in the manner of hired executioners like the inner circles of the CIA/MI6/LIKUD? 

Are the Wookie's kids 'ducking and covering' in fear and cowering shame right now? Are Michelle and Oprah having 'one last fling' because they are going to die (possibly)? Is Valerie Jarret giving Obombo 'one last blowjob' in sympathy for his imminent demise; or is he RATHER on the phone to his current boyfreind, asking him if he 'really loves him' in his 'hour of doom' (or; perhaps BOTH at the same time)?

ABC will give us ALL the SALICIOUS DETAILS, I suppose.

MEANWHILE, a perv posing as a 'TSA' agent convinced two women to step in to the screening room and give them 'pat-downs' in San Fransisco International Airport, before 'authorities' figured out the scam...

SHIT. I can't find a 'local news' link, so i will have to use RT:

http://rt.com/usa/173712-drunk-tsa-impersonator-groped-women/

Back when I was a kid and I had to walk to school five miles uphill each way, we used to go out on the weekends and get drunk and shoot at JEEPS with 'unattended packages' in them.


 

 

 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 18:03 | 4970394 Dixie Rect
Dixie Rect's picture

Don't be so negative on ole Barry. He did NOT go off fundraising.

 

He played 18 holes.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:42 | 4970030 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Barry is not in DC he's in NYC.  Maybe they saw another black woman driving around the WH.  It's wookie, don't shoo.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:38 | 4970269 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

I thought they were called "toddlers". I guess I was wrong.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 19:22 | 4970814 Quantum Nucleonics
Quantum Nucleonics's picture

Bill was in the WH today?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:19 | 4969890 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

Putin wasn't kidding around when he said there would be consequences to Barry's sanctions.... fuck.. if we wanted a pussy for a president, America should have elected a woman.  

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:44 | 4970040 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

That's coming...

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:31 | 4970231 SuperRay
SuperRay's picture

Then instead of racists, critics will be called anti-women

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 21:16 | 4971393 UselessEater
UselessEater's picture

called misogynists ...

We've had that game played in Aust. when Gillard was PM. It was nauseating, then one of the lead "misogynists" was voted in as the new PM...huh?

I guess the gender card had been played long enough to do a Tavistock PC exercise on us.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:38 | 4970270 Stalin
Stalin's picture

You mean Sara or Monica? :O

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:21 | 4969898 Moccasin
Moccasin's picture

Speaking of shitting your pants, General Custer did and you can go see those shit stained pants of his at the museum in Helena Montana. I think pants shitting is going to be more and more popular with the ruling elite. And, since pants shitting is sooooo very embarrassing you can expect more lock downs. :)

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:23 | 4969901 Moccasin
Moccasin's picture

If you visit Montana be sure and visit the Little Big Horn, take pics and enjoy our history.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:02 | 4969754 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

"Choom time, now git outta ma house."

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:05 | 4969768 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

Is he locked in or locked out?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:13 | 4969833 Liberal
Liberal's picture

If anyone dares try to imply that Reggie might be visiting my beloved Barrack, I will call you a racist, I swear!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:13 | 4969836 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Michelle must of found some embarassing nude selfies of Obama and that Danish prime minister chick...

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:20 | 4969886 booboo
booboo's picture

not a chance in hell unless she had a rubber strap on firmly shoved up O'nero's gut rut

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 20:26 | 4971150 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Michelle must of found some embarassing nude selfies of Obama and that Danish prime minister chick..."

 

Well, we know those are fake.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:26 | 4969941 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Have you been hired to improve the president's sexual image?

It's gay cut downs folks do, not staight. It would be reggie selfies. Get with the gay agenda!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 18:38 | 4970559 drendebe10
drendebe10's picture

... another excuse for the lazy incompetent corrupt arrogant narcissistic illegal alien sociopathic liar in chief to avoid work while living its celebrity grand imperial golf life style at the expense and on the backs of tax paying US citizen serfs and peasants.......

"....navy corpse-man......"

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 19:04 | 4970716 Otrader
Otrader's picture

Hey may or may not be those things.  He's simply doing what he's told by the money masters. 

 

Woodrow Wilson signed the 1913 Federal Reserve Act. A few years later he wrote: I am a most unhappy man. I have unwittingly ruined my country. A great industrial nation is controlled by its system of credit. Our system of  credit is concentrated. The growth of the nation, therefore, and all our activities are in the hands of a few men. We have come to be one of the worst ruled, one of the most  completely controlled and dominated Governments in the civilized world no longer a  Government by free opinion, no longer a Government by conviction and the vote of the majority, but a Government by the opinion and duress of a small group of dominant men. -Woodrow  Wilson

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 20:13 | 4971079 PrintemDano
PrintemDano's picture

Shit for brains Obama is fundraising in NYC, Reggie awaits willy at the ready at the nearest bath house.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 20:54 | 4971280 monkeyboy
monkeyboy's picture

Golf bag & clubs?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:24 | 4969738 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

BHO wanted to sneak one last round of golf before the shit hits the fan...bummer for obummer

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:01 | 4969744 Liberal
Liberal's picture

Now, more than ever, is the perfect time to talk about the most pressing issue of our times: Why the Redskins should change their name.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:12 | 4969825 kurt
kurt's picture

Yeah, they should change the "Washington" part.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 19:01 | 4970710 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Given the ethnic makeup of DC, all I can say is that that is just raycis!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:39 | 4970011 nidaar
nidaar's picture

If they have to, then "white" house should be changed too.. Sounds racist, why white? Why not black or brown?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:56 | 4970366 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

How about African-American house?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 19:02 | 4970712 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

How about the First Crib?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 19:35 | 4970866 Zenseless
Zenseless's picture

NigDigs

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 19:44 | 4970899 acetinker
acetinker's picture

That's so fkn wrong, on so many levels, I greened it!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:05 | 4969772 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Screw the bank...got ammo?

Miffed;-)

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:24 | 4969921 Rakshas
Rakshas's picture

200 lbs of Ag bullets...... fuk it got tired of waiting for the price to go up now I'm give' em away  220 grains at a time free to the first jackboots through the door....... 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:11 | 4970165 Kalevi
Kalevi's picture

Sorry, no.

We normal wage slaves down here in Mex don't own guns, but thanks to good old Tio Sam, the Narcos and the Criminals in uniforms have plenty, ask DOJ and State Dep for further info.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:05 | 4969778 SWRichmond
SWRichmond's picture

Shit, better go to the bank.

Actually, I'm thinking it might be time for a few beers.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:22 | 4969912 Kalevi
Kalevi's picture

Easy, sent wife to the bank, I went to the "deposito" for a few coronas.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 19:46 | 4970915 acetinker
acetinker's picture

Cheers!  Or it Salut! now?  I can't keep up.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 20:29 | 4971161 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Easy, sent wife to the bank, I went to the "deposito" for a few coronas."

"Cheers!  Or it Salut! now?  I can't keep up."

 

Run for the border?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 20:45 | 4971238 acetinker
acetinker's picture

When the time comes, run for the hills.  Easier to defend.  Same as it ever was.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:49 | 4970065 ZH Snob
ZH Snob's picture

Is Reggie visiting again?  I thought those two were on the outs.  could be just a booty call.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:07 | 4970144 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

White House, furious that Russia took the attention away from them for a moment, begins waving their hands and acting stupid. Look at us! Terrorism! Everyone shelter in place! Obey!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 15:59 | 4969725 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Quick draw a red line , around the White House. 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 15:59 | 4969735 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

You know, this is not the first time I have seen you triple post. Ease off on that save button dude. 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:05 | 4969777 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

You must be seeing Triple, after you got bashed in the fucking head. 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:10 | 4969807 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

ZH servers getting rammed this afternoon...she canna take much more Capt'n

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:48 | 4970061 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

She'll blow!

Oh, wait.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:17 | 4969866 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

You're welcome to try :-)

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 19:56 | 4970978 acetinker
acetinker's picture

I've got a sneakin' suspicion that some of us are more (or less) equal at the Hedge.  Some folks say the Hedge was slow and glitchy today, others report all is well.  I got fkn BLASTED on a GW thread once, so I asked George directly if he was fkn with me.

He responded: No, but I've been informed that I've been 'shadow banned' at Reddit.  It seems that all is not 'as it seems'.  Once the servers were moved from Bulgaria to Switzerland, shit changed- or so it seems.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 15:59 | 4969730 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

One can only hope the military has had enough of him and are taking him and his crew out in handcuffs.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:06 | 4969786 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

There might be some questions as to whether there is a grasp of reality here.

Of course it could be that dude with the horse head showed up again too.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:12 | 4970183 PoliticalRefuge...
PoliticalRefugeefromCalif.'s picture

.."taking him and his crew out in handcuffs"..

 

I'll have what he is having, make it a double..

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:42 | 4970286 MakeMineADouble
MakeMineADouble's picture

Me too.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 15:59 | 4969732 SilverIsMoney
SilverIsMoney's picture

So many people kept pointing to Mid-July as SHTF moment... Certainly coming together. Hope you've prepped...

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:00 | 4969733 alexcojones
alexcojones's picture

Please. Lockdown. Forever.

Thank you,

American People for Freedom.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:08 | 4969795 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

And make damn sure nothing gets out.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:29 | 4969960 25or6to4
25or6to4's picture

Lockdown forever? That would mean that he would be president forever. I would have preferred to see a lockout instead.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:57 | 4970101 25or6to4
25or6to4's picture

Lockdown forever? That would mean that he would be president forever. I would have preferred to see a lockout instead.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:00 | 4969737 Pheonyte
Pheonyte's picture

Damn, are we at defcon 1 already?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:15 | 4969853 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Current Terror Alert Level is Elevated - http://www.terror-alert.com/

Shake in your boots and quiver with fear as the terrorists in DC are already here.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 20:34 | 4971183 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender."  The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing.." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ...

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile and as usual are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.

And in the southern hemisphere...

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level."

-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:00 | 4969740 SilverIsMoney
SilverIsMoney's picture

So many people kept pointing to Mid-July as SHTF moment... Certainly coming together. Hope you've prepped...

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:00 | 4969741 edotabin
edotabin's picture

Lockdown?  Why? Isn't he out playing golf somewhere?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:06 | 4969788 what's that smell
what&#039;s that smell's picture

"lockdown" is rap slang for gay blow job.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:14 | 4969792 what's that smell
what&#039;s that smell's picture

"lockdown" is rap slang for gay blow job.

double post, double sorry.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:01 | 4969747 G.O.O.D
G.O.O.D's picture

Burn it

 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:02 | 4969750 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

Who cares?  We are OFF THE LOWS! no, wait...

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:01 | 4969752 Frostfan1
Frostfan1's picture

Lockdown?  Is that like timeout?  Go to your corner?  Who orders a lockdown of the White House and why?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:03 | 4969755 Frostfan1
Frostfan1's picture

Lockdown?  Is that like timeout?  Go to your corner?  Who orders a lockdown of the White House and why?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:02 | 4969758 G.O.O.D
G.O.O.D's picture

Burn it

 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:07 | 4969763 Duke Dog
Duke Dog's picture

double post, sorry.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:04 | 4969764 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

Someone's a little nervous about the date..???

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:05 | 4969770 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

Who cares?  We are OFF THE LOWS! no, wait...

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:04 | 4969776 souljaboy
souljaboy's picture

I hear the Hamptons are nice this time of year.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:05 | 4969780 Seek_Truth
Seek_Truth's picture

For a moment, I thought it said "locked up"!

One can only dream.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:06 | 4969783 Duke Dog
Duke Dog's picture

LOL, Slick Willy may have slipped through the back door carrying an automatic cigar.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:06 | 4969784 G.O.O.D
G.O.O.D's picture

Burn that fvker down!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:06 | 4969785 kurt
kurt's picture

Yeah, Young Bruce Willis is talking to Morgan Freeman about the report from Samuel L. Jackson about the release of snakes on a plane and a report of a Sharknado on Potus' diminutive pee pee. Much like the summer blockbusters, our leather tough hardiback board military scientists have a report of an alien in the glass lined laboratory and are feeling a little quigley down under. Meanwhile Israel is killing Gazan's in person, oops wait that part is true. Umm, yeah.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:06 | 4969787 trader1
trader1's picture

wolf blitzer assures the gaza invasion will be in and out.

thanks wolf.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:18 | 4969872 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Come on guys we all know Wolf calls the shots, he is one step closer to Israel than Obama will ever be LOL

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:13 | 4969790 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

!!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:07 | 4969791 Mesquite
Mesquite's picture

Someone's a little nervous about the date..???

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:07 | 4969794 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

Some fucking tourist forgets their souvenir bag and everybody shits themselves.  What a fucking embarassment.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 18:23 | 4970479 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Mission Accomplished

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:08 | 4969796 Inthemix96
Inthemix96's picture

You've seen public opinion then barry?

Lock the cunt down son, as tight as fuck, as best as you and them imbeciles can do.

The reckoning is coming son, not that you would understand, ask the NSA.

An old saying is, you cannot keep kicking a dog, before that dog bites you back.

Enjoy the teeth Barry, you deserve them.

;-)

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:15 | 4969797 honestann
honestann's picture

Just normal precautions.  Gotta make sure the white house doesn't run into an israeli tank and hurt the poor thing.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:08 | 4969798 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

Tyler...you scoop all these other fucking networks for breaking news.

I'm just coming here for any news flashes.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:23 | 4969914 optimator
optimator's picture

The Algos get just a hair quicker heads up.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:09 | 4969800 stant
stant's picture

they need more barrage balloons over dc. maybe put up some flackturins. aim the guns inwards around the beltway so they cant escape, throw the news clowns in with them too.call it inside the bro reich

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:09 | 4969801 ObamaDepression
ObamaDepression's picture

Obama has been in a bunker mentallity for the better part of 4 years now.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:10 | 4969809 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

They are trying to keep the illegals out.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:10 | 4969810 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

Slowest. World War. Ever

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:11 | 4969819 Elliptico
Elliptico's picture

Delivery from CPS (Chechen Parcel Service).

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:11 | 4969821 Elliptico
Elliptico's picture

Delivery from CPS (Chechen Parcel Service).

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:12 | 4969822 redc1c4
redc1c4's picture

maybe the bear tried to get loose?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:12 | 4969824 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Unattended package; that Isis uranium sure travels fast.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:12 | 4969828 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

He is asking the NSA what he did do, since they know the future...

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:13 | 4969829 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Its on lockdown because it will take some time to make up passable lies explaining how bo has everything under control.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:13 | 4969834 KCMLO
KCMLO's picture

Ugh, just remember if something happens to Obama we get stuck with Joe "I lost an election due to plagarism" Biden.

//
Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:13 | 4969839 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

What happened to ZH there?
Site offline. They going for you Tyler????

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:27 | 4969944 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

I think people are hitting it as it has news before the big boys can get their news approved....

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:14 | 4969846 zipit
zipit's picture

False flag.  Here we go.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:16 | 4969854 magpie
magpie's picture

If something did occur, with the current events in the background it could be kept a secret for a pretty long time, say several days.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:17 | 4969858 esum
esum's picture

when Monica was in the WH there never was an unattended package... just ask BJ... or Hildebeast....

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:17 | 4969867 esum
esum's picture

BO: fuk i told the crack dealer never leave it unattended..... 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:18 | 4969873 TabakLover
TabakLover's picture

Pissed BTFDers headed to 1600 Pa Ave.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:19 | 4969885 Savvy
Savvy's picture

Unattanded package? Seriously?

 

ROFLMFAO!!!!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:20 | 4969891 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I start to get a little edgy when these headlines come out and then the Hedge's web site suddenly goes down.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 18:10 | 4970422 LateToTheTable
LateToTheTable's picture

Yep, had an 'Oh Crap' moment myself.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 18:25 | 4970488 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

Ok, good, I'm not the only one.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:26 | 4969892 GooseShtepping Moron
GooseShtepping Moron's picture

Putin told him earlier today that you can't do everything over the phone. "I'm sick of these unconstructive phone calls," he said. "I'm sending the Washington diplomatc attaché over to talk some sense into you." Obama took the message the wrong way, hit the panic button, hid under the desk in the Oval Office, and scrambled some SAC bombers out of California just in case Vlad tries to buzz the West Coast again.

 Meanwhile Putin concluded that the American idiots are too inept to avoid starting World War III no matter what he does, because his every action is construed as provocation even though he is being as restrained and deferential as honor allows the leader of a sovereign state to be. You can't talk any sense into a clueless momma's boy like Obama who thinks he has something to prove. Even warning him that he is only hurting himself and causing pain and damage throughout the world get taken by him as a personal insult.

Somebody—foreign or domestic, it doesn't really matter who—needs to shackle this clown before he pushes us all over the edge.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 19:19 | 4970795 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

he  - obama really is a sick fuck.  he tries to prove to black people that he is black.  he tries to prove to white people he is white.  he tries to prove to his wife that he is a man.  he is trying to prove to everybody he can play golf (his hero is obviously tiger woods (in terms of fame and attention, a very succesful mongrol)  - had it all, made bucks fucked the planet, etc.)

adults don't have to do anything to prove anything.  they need to act when needed and enjoy life when not.

community organizer got his silly ass in way over his head, and even as lame as his 'staff' is - they are probably even laughing.

 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:21 | 4969894 4 wheel drift
4 wheel drift's picture

finaly...     maybe they will arrest the traitor

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:23 | 4969916 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

Perfect time for that military coup.

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 10:33 | 4973221 Otto Zitte
Otto Zitte's picture

Have you been in a coma since september 2001, or just graduated?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:25 | 4969924 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Now that Israel is invading the Gaza it all unravels quickly. The Arab countries are going to have a cause to die for.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:26 | 4969938 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

The unattended package turned out to be a delivery of Obama's new golf clubs - lock down is officially OFF -- and instead its OFF to the tees!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:27 | 4969948 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

CIA tried to down Putins jet, O'Clown goes into hiding. Man up to it, ya fucking pussy!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:27 | 4969950 Latitude25
Latitude25's picture

Could all these events be leading up to Christine Lagarde's numerology?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:00 | 4970114 Legolas
Legolas's picture

Taking what little I keep in the bank out in the morning, if it's still there.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:31 | 4969964 kurt
kurt's picture

Lockdown? That's rediculous. Does it mean the Whitehouse is an actual target? That's clearly not possible. For it to be true an incredibly stupid series of events would to have to have been persued such as: we would've had to have brought the only other super nuclear power with rockets aimed at us, to a point of provacation. Nobody could be that stupid. We'd have to have alienated a whole world of good will by militaristic and political brinksmanship. Rediculous! We would have to be backing the EXACT wrong people in the world, like dictators, rascists, slave owners, and blind rageful killers. This is America, not some retarded Twilight Zone episode.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:33 | 4969975 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

Yo yo yo  Barry you're smoking too much pot, it causes paranoia, can ya pardon yourself? LOL ya I laughed too, Yes you can, si su puede.

Do it dude come out, but first legalize yourself so you can't be deported, you don't want to limit marketing, movie or book deals, and everywhere else sucks, that's why you're here lootin.

 

 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:36 | 4970001 lincolnsteffens
lincolnsteffens's picture

How does an unattended (suspicious) package get past the gates of the Whitehouse??  Secret service, sniffing dogs, X ray, bomb sniffing analysis, spotters, etc. etc.!

 

 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:38 | 4970007 realWhiteNight123129
realWhiteNight123129's picture

What a fucking bad Hollywood show... Ridiculous... Noone believes this shit anymore... 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:40 | 4970018 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

Probably an emergency delivery of snacks.

 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:46 | 4970045 lincolnsteffens
lincolnsteffens's picture

How does an unattended (suspicious) package get past the gates of the Whitehouse??  Secret service, sniffing dogs, X ray, bomb sniffing analysis, spotters, etc. etc.!

 

 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:08 | 4970151 Jackagain
Jackagain's picture

That may be a lying excuse for this:

https://href.li/?http://rt.com/news/173672-malaysia-plane-crash-putin/

Maybe someone missed the right plane...

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 16:49 | 4970062 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

moochelle burned the grits again?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:01 | 4970110 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

One can only speculate on the circumcised dick our President has up his ass on "lockdown"!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:05 | 4970137 TomGa
TomGa's picture

So they are willing to lockdown the White House over an "unattended package" but not the U.S.-Mexican border over an invasion of illegal aliens, drug runners, MS-13 recruiters, and an untold number of cases of disease?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:08 | 4970150 Son of Captain Nemo
Son of Captain Nemo's picture

"."

TG

So they are willing to lockdown the White House over an "unattended package" but not the U.S.-Mexican border over an invasion of illegal aliens, drug runners, MS-13 recruiters, and an untold number of cases of disease?

Superb ;-)

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:51 | 4970335 GooseShtepping Moron
GooseShtepping Moron's picture

+106 ; I'm sorry I didn't think of that one.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:11 | 4970178 Jackagain
Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:12 | 4970182 Jackagain
Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:20 | 4970197 TruthTalker
TruthTalker's picture

He's not that smart

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:27 | 4970214 franzpick
franzpick's picture

Lock-Down My Ass. This is another of O'Goebbels' front page distraction attempts (maybe I spelled that name wrong).

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 17:28 | 4970220 franzpick
franzpick's picture

Barry would never let an 'unattended package' go without his personal close attention.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!