Value Added Of Every Microsoft Employee: Negative $1.5 Million

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Since the advance reports of layoffs at Microsoft started circulating this Sunday, the giant tech company has surged over 8%. This has raised the market cap of the behemoth by almost $28 Billion. Today we get the 'news' that Microsoft was laying off a record 18,000 employees (more than tripled the 2009 dump of 5,900 employees).That means - for all activist investors out there looking to raise MSFT share price - a $1.5 million market cap boost for each scalp, which, in other words, is the marginal "value added" of every currently employed Microsoft worker.

 

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Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:42 | 4967049 bag holder
bag holder's picture

Linux is better anyway.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:45 | 4967074 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

Free too

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:14 | 4967213 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

This is a Balmer Fat-ectomy.

He appears to be doing it all at once.  Good move.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:21 | 4967257 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

They had to get rid of those employees to avoid redundancy with the NSA

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:33 | 4967314 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

This is great news for debt collectors everywhere.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:45 | 4967331 BuddyEffed
BuddyEffed's picture

The husband of one of their executives asked me to do part of a sale of some property under the table so as to save on taxes.  And the tax savings wasn't even 5 figures.  (But that might not have been that man's lowest point of unethical choices, huge backstory there with insidious and treacherous twists that are so egregious that I fear mentioning them here.  That's where my BuddyEffed handle comes from.)  What got me is how a street of dreams home owner with a 6 car garage and toys out the yin yang couldn't see that his attempt to cheat was taking desperately needed money from police officers, fireman, teachers, road maintenance, etc.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:46 | 4967367 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

As as debt collector one thing I have learned is the more money people make the more debt they accumulate.  They just have bigger bills.  I regularly see people who have $100k or $200k a year in income and cant come up with a lump sum payment of $10K or $20K.  They need a payment arrangement.  The upside of being poor is when you fall you dont fall vert far.  Another thing I see is people taping 401ks left and right to live on.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:48 | 4967374 BuddyEffed
BuddyEffed's picture

I doubt there was any debt involved.  When they bought their street of dreams home, the woman exec told me you don't buy a 2.3 million dollar house without at least 10 million behind.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:52 | 4967391 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

I see just your run of the mill get and stay rich at the expense of other types.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:55 | 4967401 BuddyEffed
BuddyEffed's picture

I'd list the asses name here, except that I have kids.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 11:11 | 4967442 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

Might as well save yourself the grief.  Most likely asking you to help commit a tax evasion crime is probably not even a crime unless it is falls under some type of conspiracy to commit a crime.  It might be worth reporting to the authorities, especially a tax commission, he may at least get audited.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 13:34 | 4968740 saltedGold
saltedGold's picture

"They just have bigger bills.  I regularly see people who have $100k or $200k a year in income and cant come up with a lump sum payment of $10K or $20K. "

 

I agree 100%  Bigger salary = bigger mortgage, bigger car payment, bigger credit card bill

 

My friend and his wife clear over $300k a year.  One day I asked if he wanted to go out to lunch.  Said he couldn't because he's on a $50/mo allowance!!  WHAT?  I asked about his expenses.... $5200/mo mortgage, $2500/mo car payments, wife like fancy shoes and handbags.  Up to their eyes in debt!  Very common and very sad.

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 07:51 | 4972564 Random
Random's picture

Logged on to +1 Up you, this is some funny shit (possible even true at a certain level). Thanks for the laugh!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:48 | 4967087 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

The new CEO must be kicking himself right now. "Shit, I left money on the table! Shoulda laid off 40,000 people!"

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:55 | 4967126 Hal n back
Hal n back's picture

I remember the old days in business during tough time--employees get laid off and the remaining employees get to work more hours to keep th ejob--now we cut back full time and add more part time.

 

 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:56 | 4967132 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

To be fair this is the marginal value for those deemed to be worthy to get the axe. Additional employees might be worth only negative one million.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:00 | 4967156 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

<< shoulda laid off 40,000 people >>

 

He’s saving that for Christmas.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:16 | 4967228 SpanishInquisition
SpanishInquisition's picture

If Microsoft fired everyone and just had a Windows be an app written by some teenager, it would probably be a better product

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:22 | 4967265 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

And it wouldn't have the blue screen of death either

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 13:13 | 4968601 piliage
piliage's picture

MS will always manage to have a blue sceeen of death. They have recently added the feature to Skype. And to think the company that invented the Zune, Vista, and Windows 8 is having trouble? I'm Shocked!

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 13:06 | 4974126 Seeing Red
Seeing Red's picture

I like my Vista better than Windows 7 (not necessarily by a lot, but still ...).

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:27 | 4967285 NotAMathWhiz
NotAMathWhiz's picture

Just think what it would be worth if they only had 1 guy?!?!!  Wait, that sounds weirdly familiar ...

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:44 | 4967059 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

the billinda gates foundation needs the $

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:43 | 4967060 NeedleDickTheBu...
NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

No actual "benefit".  Just a wealth transer.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:09 | 4967088 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

it improves Microsoft's Price/Equity Ratio, I suppose. Chairwoman Yellen told me so herself, together with other stock tips. hint: buy megacorps, short the rest of the world. kill Small Biz, all power to Big Biz

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:44 | 4967062 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Welcome to the Microsoft family valued employee.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:48 | 4967081 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

"80 hours a week and lovin' it!"

Remember that one from back in the 90s?  

Now it's 80 hours a week and carrying your box of shit to the curb as you exit the building for the last time.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:45 | 4967065 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

They should shut down the company - just keep the executive tier.  Think of what the stock price would be!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:50 | 4967098 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin&#039; Baltar's picture

Just fire everyone down to one employee. One employee is all it takes to have a billion dollar company in the new normal.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 11:00 | 4967416 meghaljani
meghaljani's picture

We are already there. Long CYNK. 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:51 | 4967106 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Surely they could have found positions for those people in some other money-losing Microsoft venture.

 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:56 | 4967138 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Most of MS's money comes from G-man contracts.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:44 | 4967067 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Funny that the continued hollowing out of the middle class in one of the last bastions of wealth creation in the U.S. is nonetheless viewed as bullish.  

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:19 | 4967246 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

MSFT is one of tha major players in the selling out of the US technical class to the Indians, both in price and in quality.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 12:13 | 4968030 Creepy Lurker
Creepy Lurker's picture

But, but, but.... we don't have enough trained technical workers here in the US. We have to import Indians to write code, even Bill Gates says so!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 13:36 | 4968754 saltedGold
saltedGold's picture

Upper management is full of Indians... and guess who they prefer to hire??

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:45 | 4967069 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Well hell's bells, maybe they should fire everyone then.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:45 | 4967070 LightsOut
LightsOut's picture

What's the marginal benefit of removing Gov't employees?  Gov't politicians? 

I have a new stimulus plan!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:45 | 4967072 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  One can only wonder when Gates gets a bunch of friends together and takes MSFT private... BTFATH with cheap money bitchez. 

   <sarc/>

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:45 | 4967076 ejmoosa
ejmoosa's picture

That ain't nuthin'.

 

Fire 18,000 Federal workers and see what the markets do.  Start with the EPA, the IRS, and Homeland Security.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:45 | 4967363 boattrash
boattrash's picture

That' absolute Chump-Change! You want to see REAL numbers? Lets see the "Scalp-Rate" for just 535 MF's in DC!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:48 | 4967083 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Krugman was right!  Break everything!  Fire everyone!  We'll all be gajillionaires!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:27 | 4967282 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Banksters and European aristocracy go one better: finance dictators, then invade and bomb and kill everyone, then occupy and reconstruct, then a few more bombs just to keep everyone on their toes, then rinse and repeat on neighbouring countries...

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:48 | 4967085 highly debtful
highly debtful's picture

For God's sake, is there anything that still comes without a price tag? Mind you, I'm not even being sarcastic here, I would really like to know.   

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:01 | 4967164 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Highly D (nice handle by the way)....clearly a rhetorical question.

It's all about micro managing a giant corrall. Every move is a cost(loss) or a profit.

But forget price tags, I'm starting to wonder about #tags.

#megasoft

#layoffviagra

#sackrifice

;-)

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:48 | 4967086 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

I sure hope the US gov institutes a wealth tax asap.  Before you shit yourself think it through.  There would not be as much wealth to tax or or savings accumulated had people been paying for the spending as they go.  Higher taxes all along would have reigned in spending a long time ago.  Better to tax those now who benefited than to tax future generations who did not benefit from all that gov spending.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:51 | 4967108 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

LOL, you must be new here.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:17 | 4967236 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

I am usually a smart ass but I think this is what should be done.  I know it is not a popular idea on ZH with all of the negative articles about gov confiscation of wealth.  But think about it we the people allowed shit like a drug benefit under medicare at the same time Bush was lowering taxes.  WTF.  on and on with wars etc.  Are you against the war then you should had raised your voice with stopping the funding.  When the US borrows 50 cents on every dollare there are literally no consequences for for savers, wealth gatherers etc.  Pay as you go and people would reign in all this spending.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:24 | 4967269 Zerozen
Zerozen's picture

If that's how you feel, then a better idea is to have constitutional-level limits on how much the government can borrow, or maybe even just an outright ban on sovereign borrowing for anything other than short-term bridge funding/smoothing.

.gov has done a shitty job of spending our money, what on Earth makes you think that confiscating more money from the people and giving it to those clowns will improve the situation?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:30 | 4967297 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

I agree we need a balanced budget amendment.  I understand that we have little direct controll over our representatives as the system is built to operate on money and influence but that is whole different can of worms.  I am just adressing one problem right now.

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