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Value Added Of Every Microsoft Employee: Negative $1.5 Million

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Since the advance reports of layoffs at Microsoft started circulating this Sunday, the giant tech company has surged over 8%. This has raised the market cap of the behemoth by almost $28 Billion. Today we get the 'news' that Microsoft was laying off a record 18,000 employees (more than tripled the 2009 dump of 5,900 employees).That means - for all activist investors out there looking to raise MSFT share price - a $1.5 million market cap boost for each scalp, which, in other words, is the marginal "value added" of every currently employed Microsoft worker.

 

 

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Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:42 | 4967049 bag holder
bag holder's picture

Linux is better anyway.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:45 | 4967074 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

Free too

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:14 | 4967213 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

This is a Balmer Fat-ectomy.

He appears to be doing it all at once.  Good move.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:21 | 4967257 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

They had to get rid of those employees to avoid redundancy with the NSA

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:33 | 4967314 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

This is great news for debt collectors everywhere.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:45 | 4967331 BuddyEffed
BuddyEffed's picture

The husband of one of their executives asked me to do part of a sale of some property under the table so as to save on taxes.  And the tax savings wasn't even 5 figures.  (But that might not have been that man's lowest point of unethical choices, huge backstory there with insidious and treacherous twists that are so egregious that I fear mentioning them here.  That's where my BuddyEffed handle comes from.)  What got me is how a street of dreams home owner with a 6 car garage and toys out the yin yang couldn't see that his attempt to cheat was taking desperately needed money from police officers, fireman, teachers, road maintenance, etc.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:46 | 4967367 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

As as debt collector one thing I have learned is the more money people make the more debt they accumulate.  They just have bigger bills.  I regularly see people who have $100k or $200k a year in income and cant come up with a lump sum payment of $10K or $20K.  They need a payment arrangement.  The upside of being poor is when you fall you dont fall vert far.  Another thing I see is people taping 401ks left and right to live on.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:48 | 4967374 BuddyEffed
BuddyEffed's picture

I doubt there was any debt involved.  When they bought their street of dreams home, the woman exec told me you don't buy a 2.3 million dollar house without at least 10 million behind.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:52 | 4967391 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

I see just your run of the mill get and stay rich at the expense of other types.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:55 | 4967401 BuddyEffed
BuddyEffed's picture

I'd list the asses name here, except that I have kids.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 11:11 | 4967442 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

Might as well save yourself the grief.  Most likely asking you to help commit a tax evasion crime is probably not even a crime unless it is falls under some type of conspiracy to commit a crime.  It might be worth reporting to the authorities, especially a tax commission, he may at least get audited.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 13:34 | 4968740 saltedGold
saltedGold's picture

"They just have bigger bills.  I regularly see people who have $100k or $200k a year in income and cant come up with a lump sum payment of $10K or $20K. "

 

I agree 100%  Bigger salary = bigger mortgage, bigger car payment, bigger credit card bill

 

My friend and his wife clear over $300k a year.  One day I asked if he wanted to go out to lunch.  Said he couldn't because he's on a $50/mo allowance!!  WHAT?  I asked about his expenses.... $5200/mo mortgage, $2500/mo car payments, wife like fancy shoes and handbags.  Up to their eyes in debt!  Very common and very sad.

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 07:51 | 4972564 Random
Random's picture

Logged on to +1 Up you, this is some funny shit (possible even true at a certain level). Thanks for the laugh!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:48 | 4967087 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

The new CEO must be kicking himself right now. "Shit, I left money on the table! Shoulda laid off 40,000 people!"

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:55 | 4967126 Hal n back
Hal n back's picture

I remember the old days in business during tough time--employees get laid off and the remaining employees get to work more hours to keep th ejob--now we cut back full time and add more part time.

 

 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:56 | 4967132 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

To be fair this is the marginal value for those deemed to be worthy to get the axe. Additional employees might be worth only negative one million.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:00 | 4967156 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

<< shoulda laid off 40,000 people >>

 

He’s saving that for Christmas.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:16 | 4967228 SpanishInquisition
SpanishInquisition's picture

If Microsoft fired everyone and just had a Windows be an app written by some teenager, it would probably be a better product

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:22 | 4967265 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

And it wouldn't have the blue screen of death either

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 13:13 | 4968601 piliage
piliage's picture

MS will always manage to have a blue sceeen of death. They have recently added the feature to Skype. And to think the company that invented the Zune, Vista, and Windows 8 is having trouble? I'm Shocked!

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 13:06 | 4974126 Seeing Red
Seeing Red's picture

I like my Vista better than Windows 7 (not necessarily by a lot, but still ...).

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:27 | 4967285 NotAMathWhiz
NotAMathWhiz's picture

Just think what it would be worth if they only had 1 guy?!?!!  Wait, that sounds weirdly familiar ...

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:44 | 4967059 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

the billinda gates foundation needs the $

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:43 | 4967060 NeedleDickTheBu...
NeedleDickTheBugFucker's picture

No actual "benefit".  Just a wealth transer.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:09 | 4967088 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

it improves Microsoft's Price/Equity Ratio, I suppose. Chairwoman Yellen told me so herself, together with other stock tips. hint: buy megacorps, short the rest of the world. kill Small Biz, all power to Big Biz

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:44 | 4967062 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Welcome to the Microsoft family valued employee.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:48 | 4967081 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

"80 hours a week and lovin' it!"

Remember that one from back in the 90s?  

Now it's 80 hours a week and carrying your box of shit to the curb as you exit the building for the last time.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:45 | 4967065 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

They should shut down the company - just keep the executive tier.  Think of what the stock price would be!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:50 | 4967098 Gaius Frakkin' ...
Gaius Frakkin&#039; Baltar's picture

Just fire everyone down to one employee. One employee is all it takes to have a billion dollar company in the new normal.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 11:00 | 4967416 meghaljani
meghaljani's picture

We are already there. Long CYNK. 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:51 | 4967106 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Surely they could have found positions for those people in some other money-losing Microsoft venture.

 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:56 | 4967138 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Most of MS's money comes from G-man contracts.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:44 | 4967067 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Funny that the continued hollowing out of the middle class in one of the last bastions of wealth creation in the U.S. is nonetheless viewed as bullish.  

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:19 | 4967246 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

MSFT is one of tha major players in the selling out of the US technical class to the Indians, both in price and in quality.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 12:13 | 4968030 Creepy Lurker
Creepy Lurker's picture

But, but, but.... we don't have enough trained technical workers here in the US. We have to import Indians to write code, even Bill Gates says so!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 13:36 | 4968754 saltedGold
saltedGold's picture

Upper management is full of Indians... and guess who they prefer to hire??

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:45 | 4967069 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Well hell's bells, maybe they should fire everyone then.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:45 | 4967070 LightsOut
LightsOut's picture

What's the marginal benefit of removing Gov't employees?  Gov't politicians? 

I have a new stimulus plan!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:45 | 4967072 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  One can only wonder when Gates gets a bunch of friends together and takes MSFT private... BTFATH with cheap money bitchez. 

   <sarc/>

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:45 | 4967076 ejmoosa
ejmoosa's picture

That ain't nuthin'.

 

Fire 18,000 Federal workers and see what the markets do.  Start with the EPA, the IRS, and Homeland Security.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:45 | 4967363 boattrash
boattrash's picture

That' absolute Chump-Change! You want to see REAL numbers? Lets see the "Scalp-Rate" for just 535 MF's in DC!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:48 | 4967083 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Krugman was right!  Break everything!  Fire everyone!  We'll all be gajillionaires!

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:27 | 4967282 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Banksters and European aristocracy go one better: finance dictators, then invade and bomb and kill everyone, then occupy and reconstruct, then a few more bombs just to keep everyone on their toes, then rinse and repeat on neighbouring countries...

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:48 | 4967085 highly debtful
highly debtful's picture

For God's sake, is there anything that still comes without a price tag? Mind you, I'm not even being sarcastic here, I would really like to know.   

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:01 | 4967164 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Highly D (nice handle by the way)....clearly a rhetorical question.

It's all about micro managing a giant corrall. Every move is a cost(loss) or a profit.

But forget price tags, I'm starting to wonder about #tags.

#megasoft

#layoffviagra

#sackrifice

;-)

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:48 | 4967086 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

I sure hope the US gov institutes a wealth tax asap.  Before you shit yourself think it through.  There would not be as much wealth to tax or or savings accumulated had people been paying for the spending as they go.  Higher taxes all along would have reigned in spending a long time ago.  Better to tax those now who benefited than to tax future generations who did not benefit from all that gov spending.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:51 | 4967108 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

LOL, you must be new here.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:17 | 4967236 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

I am usually a smart ass but I think this is what should be done.  I know it is not a popular idea on ZH with all of the negative articles about gov confiscation of wealth.  But think about it we the people allowed shit like a drug benefit under medicare at the same time Bush was lowering taxes.  WTF.  on and on with wars etc.  Are you against the war then you should had raised your voice with stopping the funding.  When the US borrows 50 cents on every dollare there are literally no consequences for for savers, wealth gatherers etc.  Pay as you go and people would reign in all this spending.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:24 | 4967269 Zerozen
Zerozen's picture

If that's how you feel, then a better idea is to have constitutional-level limits on how much the government can borrow, or maybe even just an outright ban on sovereign borrowing for anything other than short-term bridge funding/smoothing.

.gov has done a shitty job of spending our money, what on Earth makes you think that confiscating more money from the people and giving it to those clowns will improve the situation?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:30 | 4967297 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

I agree we need a balanced budget amendment.  I understand that we have little direct controll over our representatives as the system is built to operate on money and influence but that is whole different can of worms.  I am just adressing one problem right now.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:53 | 4967395 boattrash
boattrash's picture

Cliff, tighten the tourniquet Before you give the man 2 pints of blood.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 11:23 | 4967420 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

This is very true, but how do we stop the bleeding until the tax payers feel some consquences.  This current system will run until the train is off the tracks.  Then people will start to look for solutions or changes.

The only other solution, which no one is considering it debt forgiveness through a monetary system reset, like bretton woods 3.  I think they symbolically they should meet in Buenos Aires and call it Buenos Aires 1tm.   A world wide fiat currency reset.  I would go even further and have a debt jubilee or at least a significant debt reductions across the board.  It is going to happen voluntarily or through defualt at some point. 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 11:38 | 4967693 boattrash
boattrash's picture

Cliff, I cant speak for anybody else, but I FEEL the consequences, I also think if you saw my W-2's you would understand(and likely agree that where Govt is concerned, ROI Sucks).

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:06 | 4967188 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  What do you think ZIRP is ?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:18 | 4967247 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

zirp punishes savers from earning a return on their savings.  A flat out tax of say 50% of all savings or assets would right the national debt and make those that benefited fromt he spending pay for it. 

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:26 | 4967276 Zerozen
Zerozen's picture

Lol ok, because asset confiscation would be a popular idea, right?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:37 | 4967330 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

Right.... but confiscating future taxes from generations not born is ok (WTF)  and it is kicking the can down the road, which ZHers hate.  It is highly immoral to pass your debt on to your children.  I propose the banks get a new law passed.  When you die your debt is legally liable to be paid by your children and grandchildren and while we are at it let's out law bankruptcy.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:32 | 4967308 PeeramidIdeologies
PeeramidIdeologies's picture

It's much too late for that. She's been hollowed out for generations, attempting to tax the wealth back into the country is a lost cause. The proceeds would be incinerated before they touch the ground.

You want a solution? Prove to these fat cats there is more value to be had in this company then just the stock price. Cap-ex needs to be rediscovered and reinvigorated. I should think this strategy is already in the works. Unfortunately companies with electronically based business models are much farther ahead to dispose of operating inefficiencies such as people.

Got skills?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:37 | 4967328 radiasian
radiasian's picture

Fuck you.  Keep your and this idiotic government's hands off what I have earned by working and saving.  It has already been taxed out the ass.  I'm guessing you don't have much to lose from your 50% confiscation scheme.  As a young, single male with a good job I put everything in and receive nothing out.  Jesus fucking christ you people.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:41 | 4967347 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

I down voted you for you logic but I will give you a plus for passion.  This has to be dealt with some how.  How about thinking about your children having half of all their wages taxed to pay for stuff you or your parents benefited from.  The only other solution is to default.  It is considered an odious debt and really our children should not have to pay for it.  But even if we default and no one pays our children still suffer with a lower standard of living look at Argentina for a future example of what America will be like.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:51 | 4967387 radiasian
radiasian's picture

Oh, so it's naturally "For teh childrenz!111"  If you don't want children to suffer, don't fucking breed.  By all means, lots of defaults need to happen.  Remember how bankruptcies were an important part of how this batshit insane system used to work?  But if the government takes half of what I have saved, I am most certain they will spend it well this time around, right?  And not just give it to the bankers and all the other cronies out there.  Mmm hmm.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:58 | 4967409 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

I am not saying to levy a one time tax to take half of what you have to give to bankers etc, it would be to pay down debt directly.   I agree bankruptcies are natural and good part of the system, first of all it makes lenders more conservative and diligent in who they lend to.  But lending to govs is a no brainer when taxes can always be raised to pay future debts.  I suppose paying all debt off would cause other problems like lack of sufficient Triple A collateral (joke).

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 12:32 | 4968239 Creepy Lurker
Creepy Lurker's picture

Jesus Jumping Christ on a pogo stick. Let me guess; you learned all this crap from favorite professor, right? Nevermind that none of your proposed confiscation plans wouldn't work A: because the debt is so damn big it could never be paid off that way even if you confiscated 100% of everything from everyone, and B: because endemic corruption would result in all of it being squandered in any case - the solution to government problems is NOT more government.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 11:06 | 4967436 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 @ Cliff Claven Cheers    I suggest that you read the enclosed link.

  Short-Term and Long-Term Capital Gains Tax Rates

  When savers that normally would be living off of their retirement savings can't because of ZIRP they're forced to return to the workforce or delay retirement. The additional salary they make is taxed at the ordinary rate, when they would otherwise be retired.

 Your suggestion is absolutely absurd. Even short term capital gains are taxed at your ordinary rate. "Long-term investments in collectibles are taxed at a flat 28%. Short-term investments in collectibles are taxed as short-term capital gains at your ordinary income tax rates."

  Additional taxes aren't the issue. A runaway bloated entitlement government is the problem.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:07 | 4967190 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

how about preventing the accumulation of vast fortunes thanks to oligo- and monopolies?

MS was a near-monopolist. the old approach would have been to level the field again. anti-trust, it was called. that word does not exist anymore, eh?

but that was in the past. like Standard Oil and Bell Corp. Nowadays, it's cool to be an Oligarch. All Power To The Oligarchs

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:12 | 4967203 RacerX
RacerX's picture

how about the gov't getting the F* out of the kitchen? They should be the refs, not selling out it's own people for the sake of these A-hole multinationals.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:27 | 4967259 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

How about we the people are literally the governement.  we allow all the bullshit.  If we actually had to pay as we went then we would not have spent as much.  People that pay cash typcially spend about 25% less than their counterpart that uses credit.  It is psychological, most people rationalize they will pay for it later with future income and it is easier to spend since they have not had to work hard to earn it like the cash spender.  Credit card companies / banks know and love this.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 12:37 | 4968290 Creepy Lurker
Creepy Lurker's picture

We the people have not been the government for a long, long time. That is the salient point you fail to grasp.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:45 | 4967368 a common man
a common man's picture

Speaking of wealth tax, will it apply to corporations?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 11:04 | 4967433 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

Yes it should, the Corps have indirectly benefited from the exta spending power people have had, more disposalable income that should have went to pay taxes as we spent.  Besides they have too much influence to have a current tax system disproportionately benefit them any way.  I would say to tax them even higher to make up for past indiscretions.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 12:46 | 4968371 Creepy Lurker
Creepy Lurker's picture

Corporations have benefited from being in bed with government. Endemic corruption - corporations buying senators, the revolving employment door between corporations and government, these are at the root of the problem. I honestly don't understand why this is so hard for most people to grasp. It has long since gotten so out of hand that nothing is going to put an end to except the whole shit shack collapsing under its own stinky weight.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:49 | 4967089 Bryan
Bryan's picture

Don't let facts get in the way of a good squeeze.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:49 | 4967092 gatorengineer
gatorengineer's picture

Microsoft is becomming less relevant every year... Apple will be next.... no innovation stagnant OS, and death....  

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:49 | 4967097 TabakLover
TabakLover's picture

I sure this money will al trickle back into the economy via Bill Gates Foundation.  The the 3rd world economy.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:02 | 4967166 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

charity begins abroad - lulz

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:51 | 4967104 adr
adr's picture

What do companies need employees for? All you need is a person named as CEO and a stock symbol to make money.

Employees to zero, stock to the moon.

As the algos have proven, you don't even need product or revenue. Your product is your electronic stock and your revenue comes from the Fed. Your profit is made from selling shares to greater fools.

A perfect fleecing system. 

look at the media coverage of Tesla. Musk just said the third model will be called the Model III and every news story made it seem like the car has already been built and revealed. On CNET they ran the headline, "Tesla Model III revealed!" and had a photo of the Model S. Epic bullshit to ramp a stock. The gigafactory must have been completed in secret as well because the Model III will have batteries made from it and be on the market in two years.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:16 | 4967222 SethDealer
SethDealer's picture

hahaha, you nailed it holmes.  Merican economic model

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:16 | 4967233 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

if a company has an employee the company must buy that employee obamacare, if the person has no job, they slide back onto to the state medicaid system. either way the insurance company and the federal government wins

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:55 | 4967120 Hubbs
Hubbs's picture

Nothing like true price discovery./sarc

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 09:59 | 4967149 Zog the Bastiat
Zog the Bastiat's picture

what product does Microsoft make again? can't remember last time I've used a Microsoft. does it do mp3?

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:13 | 4967210 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

they make linux i think, seriously if windows wasnt such a communist monopoly product linux would have never been necessary

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:00 | 4967151 yogibear
yogibear's picture

See, Wall Street just loves layoffs.

Why produce anything anymore. Just buy-back shares, trading shares and IPOs.

All those unprofitable/mismanaged companies need to re-lable themselves as a social media company and IPO it.  Your worthless IPO'd company can make you a billionaire.

Fund manages are willing to chase any hot IPO with billions in cash.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:12 | 4967208 the grateful un...
the grateful unemployed's picture

its the 90s all over again, hard to believe that decade is twenty years old

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:26 | 4967278 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

the decade is 20 years old? LOL

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:22 | 4967263 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

That's some badass management when you can decide to lay off 18,000 people all at once, makes you wonder WTF these people were doing to begin with.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:23 | 4967268 tnquake
tnquake's picture

New MSFT Paradigm:

Short employees

Long H1B

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:27 | 4967284 BuddyEffed
BuddyEffed's picture

There might be openings at Apple for those 18,000.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 10:29 | 4967293 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

Please release me, let me go! Ok.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 11:16 | 4967501 alexcojones
alexcojones's picture

I wouldnt buy a Microsoft product if I was on fire and they were the only water in town.

Fuck you Bill Gates and your virus infected products.

Thu, 07/17/2014 - 11:34 | 4967655 RealityCheque
RealityCheque's picture

It's a great day for investors who love to see people getting fired as a means of ramping the price of a shitheap company like Microsoft.

Get up that road you fuckers, there's money to be counted by your bosses and shareholders (AKA total arseholes).

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 00:57 | 4972087 I Drink Your Mi...
I Drink Your Milkshake's picture

Boy, guess that solves the H-1B visa bottleneck.

Plenty of domestic talent for hire now.

Unless Honduras is training script kiddies to invade Silicon Valley for a stipend and a place to sleep in the garage of an
incubator in East Palo Alto.

Oh, sorry Zuck, did I just out your FWD.us's ulterior motive?

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