INTRoDouCHiNG SPYBoY KeiTH...

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[blindman]

http://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2014/07/exclusive-high-level-nsa-whistleb...
Exclusive: High-Level NSA Whistleblower Says Blackmail Is a Huge – Unreported – Part of Mass Surveillance
Posted on July 20, 2014 by George Washington

[janus]

we're all doubtless aware of the bitter brew simmering all and everywhere.  and i'm proportionately disposed to discuss its each and every aspect.  but i just cannot.  things in the world being what they are, i can't bring myself to address them -- as their seriousness precludes my interest.

i pulled outta some olde friend's driveway earlier today with bigger thoughts abrew in the stew of my transom.  

let me begin by saying that it's good to be reunited with marijuana.  it's been some five days; and though they say mary-jane ain't addictive (and it ain't), it has a way of endearing its advocates.  once you fall in love with the ole girl, it's hard to forget her.  

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6xscuS9H8U

http://vimeo.com/37683622

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txX-kPn3h6s

so, bitchez, janus is ole school. i'm  presently on the road and in unfamiliar terrain. invention has many mothers, necessity is but one of them...as such, i fashioned a bowl outta a discarded beer can....what you do is, you remove the ring (turning it inverse, and then reversing it against the backside of the lid evah so carefully...it takes practice); whereupon you snap the ring off; compress a demi-hemispheric dent in the can obverse the drink-hole; into which indentation you form some very small holes with something sharp (but not too sharp -- as the force required to pierce aluminum is oft sufficient to force said sharp object all the way through...ouch!!!); then you bore out a carburetor on the can's lower right-hand side.  grind bud...load into indentation...light and enjoy.

it's like we said in special ops: improvise, adapt and have some fun.

anyway, so, last night was spent at the house of a very olde friend...i love this girl...Carrie-Girl.  and i know what you depraved fuckers are thinking...but there was none of that.  Carrie-Girl is a friend of both mr. and mrs. janus.  she's of the special sort.  platonic all the way; and so it will always remain.  but Carrie-Girl made a mistake.  

you see, janus can talk...and talk..and talk...you gotta luv me (and have a 160+ IQ) to deal with me for long spells.  Carrie-Girl luvs janus at his outter most extreme.  but she made a mistake.

remember that movie "gremlins" and the whole don't do this-that-or the other with cute lil mogwia?  well, if you wanna bring out the voluble and volcanic 'talk' in janus, just feed him percocets.  now, understand, janus wasn't always as pure as the driven snow...there was a time when these hands weren't white as ivory.  there was a time when janus would get rowdy...and Carrie-Girl remembered my affection for oxy-codone.  {author's note: opiates are demons...do not fuck with them}.

to extend this further: last time i saw Carrie-Girl, we were at the party of a mutual friend (whose father is 'the' preacher round these parts...mega-church kinda thingy).  at said party, we were doing lines so wide and long, apollo the coke-head woulda choked.  really, i must confess that that was some exquisite cocaine.  great group of guys...no shit.  and, in all fairness, sometimes coke is just a phase...and for some, that phase has tragic consequences.

some end up dead, and some others end up with security clearances.

it'd been ten years since that coke-party and our last reunion...and, as soul-mates do, we picked up at the last syllable of the last conversation shared and expanded on it from there.  Carrie-Girl and janus are like peas and carrots.  we can talk & talk & talk & talk...and we share the best sense of humor there is.  we are quite possibly the funniest two people living.

Carrie-Girl and janus always luved to actively stoke our semi-reckless side...but last night we truly realized we were getting older.  nearing the perimeter of our thirties, we've changed. 

we only had, like, four drinks each at the bar in aiken, sc...we even openly discussed the prospects of consequences and whatnot...most def -- geriatric. so then we caravaned to her casa.  we parked, i put some beer in her fridge...she packed a bowl...a lil chit-chat.  now, please recall that, poor scoundrel that i am, i am nevertheless blessed to be behind the wheel of a sweet lil jaguar convertible....at least at present.

so she fed me a percocet, we fired another bowl, cranked up the tunes, put the rag-top down, left the drugs at home, and set out for a cruise...ole school style.

janus: "Carrie-Girl, point me in the direction of the countriest road you know".

Carrie-Girl: turn left.

janus: {prayer} 'Lord, i'd like to dial-up some ideal convertible weather'.

Lord: no prob.

and so it was that Carrie-Girl and janus cruised along for an hour or so without seeing a goddam soul for some hour or so...deep in the carolina low country.  right near the edge of James Brown's home...and maybe someday i'll tell my cool-ass James Brown stories.  in the mean-time, a brief interlude:

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wd1-HM234DE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pe1UOr___pg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yrT0DpvfVI

as we cruised along according the the effervescence of opiates, alcohol and mary-jane, janus rambled on and on about his ill book and all the anecdotes which constitute it.  i probably told her too much -- it's certain i ruined many scenes she'll soon read.  nevertheless, i elaborated endlessly regarding the artistic purpose behind my contemporaneous dixie adventure, and what i was attempting to resolve on a thematic level.

consequently, the subject of strom thrumond came up.  you see, senator thurmond was the next door neighbor of our mutual friend (very long story)...yadda-yadda-yadda...Carrie Girl comes out and rhetorically asks:

"did you know, i prepared Strom Thrumond's death certificate?"

okay, when you're asked a rhetorical question and the intonation suggests that you say "no" or something similar, you do just that...and so janus said:

"no?"

Carrie_Girl: "yeah, and do you know what was listed as the cause of death?"

again, how else could janus but reply?

"no?"

Carrie-Girl: "failure to thrive."

yup, janus has it from unimpeachable sources...strom thurmond failed to thrive...and as any who've read this far should naturally assume, i have myself the perfect chapter title for this lil project's final...ya know, with all the restof em, i'd picked the chapter title after the chapter was written...but, i suppose it's fitting and natural that the title of the chapter what describes amorica's nadir should come to me before it's written...and by virtue of one of my favorite muses -- Carrie-Girl.

and so, amorica, janus is preparing your death certificate; i'm calling it, "Failure to Thrive"....i reckon you'll luv it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYqcad3cIW0

you just might find/

you'll get what you need/

awwww yeah,

janus

[WTFUD]

For Tonight we'll merry,merry be
For Tonight we'll merry, merry be
For Tonight we'll merry, merry be
Tomorrow we'll be SOBER. burp!

[q99x2]

Put him in the submarines with the rest of them.

[conspicio]

Damn, I see Spyboy and I expect this...and you were nearly responsible for a few ounces of St Bernardus Abt 12 hitting the keyboard...good on ya.

[nmewn]

lol...Tranny Keith says: "Everything I do, I do for you. But I can have it both ways." ;-)

[ebworthen]

Keith doing his best to transition the 4th Amendment into something his Mother and Father wouldn't recognize.

[CH1]

Banzai, you know I love your work, but you really need to use a "gross-out warning" for pictures like this!

I may have torn a gut muscle dry-heaving.

[williambanzai7]

Looks like you got armbushed ;-

[OldPhart]

Ick Factor 10

[Pure Evil]

After seeing the face and the knee up in the air, even I Pure Evil was truly frightened and hesitant to scroll down even further.

[wisefool]

Closes Eyes. Remembers the Team Banzai Series.

[williambanzai7]

[janus]

that's the difference betwixt the Hedge and real life...on the Hedge, you only get one up-arrow...in real life, i expect the up arrows would cum one after another -- till janus had conquered them one and all.

these are what i call brides...i will be a martyr for whatever religion offers these as reward for whatsoever.  call me a convert.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8e1sSNsf44

cum on in, take a seat next to me/

you know we got, we got, we got what you need/

we may be liars, thieves unto choirs/

but we can, we can sell ya dreams/

you don't need no sympathy/

they got a pill for everything/

...don't pray for us,

janus

[wisefool]

Thank you my old freind. I am on the second string, but still on the team.