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Caption Contest: The Lifecycle Of An ISIS Fanatic

Tyler Durden's picture


From life-saver to life-taker...


Source: Al Arabiya

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Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:18 | 4992337 knukles
knukles's picture

My he happily reap his 1000 virgin reward.
Let God sort them all out
Hypocritical Oath Taker

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:22 | 4992363 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Reminds me of Achmed the Dead Terrorist... I KEELLLL YOU!!!!


Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:24 | 4992375 Croesus
Croesus's picture

"If I do enough to destroy America, maybe I can be next John McCain!"

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:26 | 4992381 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Don't worry, he'll be back when he needs another job. Once he's destroyed everything else near him and he realises there's no way in his 'heaven' he can make a decent living...

Then he'll come back to what he hates to make some money and pretend he likes us...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:29 | 4992407 SoberOne
SoberOne's picture

Ali Baba's circumcisions.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:34 | 4992435 The Phu
The Phu's picture

Scalpal??  I don't need no stinkin' scalpal!!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:40 | 4992473 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Now that's a knoife!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:54 | 4992544 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

"Unfortunately since there is no Obamacare in Iraq, I need to join ISIS in order to kill people instead of doing so directly with my MD"

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:01 | 4992577 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Exactly so.  He's much more dangerous with an MD than as a terrorist.


Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:13 | 4992619 Manthong
Manthong's picture

If you like your terrorist butcher doctor, you can keep your terrorist butcher doctor.]

Somehow, I don’t think Hippocrates was well regarded, or even regarded at all by Moohammid

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:14 | 4992648 rehypothecator
rehypothecator's picture

The surgeon's scalpel removes the evil, cancerous tumor from the otherwise good, healthy body.  The jihadist removes the evil infidels (and their nightclub or schoolbus) from the otherwise healthy country.  It's all the same thing, it just depends on what one thinks good and evil are.  

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:20 | 4992680 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

At ISIS University Med School he specialized in heart and lung removal.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:24 | 4992706 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



I saw the original movie with Mel Gibson...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:58 | 4992884 gold-is-not-dead
gold-is-not-dead's picture

He's just asking for attention or he's gay, that's not a terrorist.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:02 | 4992895 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture




Doggie Houser Hamas wants to meet 72 virgin men.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:20 | 4993014 bobola
bobola's picture

The 3rd photo.

Is that a multi-beer coozie on his chest?

Is he heading for a soccer game, and wanting to avoid the high cost of stadium beer?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 12:09 | 4993343 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

....and a lawnmower in the garage, behind him !

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 13:42 | 4993945 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

...and I thought my medical internship was bad!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:26 | 4993064 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

Doctors without Borders

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 12:56 | 4993652 spekulatn
spekulatn's picture

He's just asking for attention and he's gay, that's not a terrorist.



Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:26 | 4992712 Poundsand
Poundsand's picture

Actually they only have one class.  Head removal.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:35 | 4992772 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

He was at the head of his class.

Ba dum, dum bump

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:42 | 4992799 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

I'm gonna take your dwork. I'm gonna nail it to the wall. I'm gonna crush your boils in a meat grinder. I'm gonna cut off your arms. I'm gonna shove 'em up your icehole. Dirty son-a-ma-batches. This is fargin war!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:20 | 4992685 strannick
strannick's picture

Keynesian broken windows theory in the medical profession

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:26 | 4992714 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Before Obama-care...

After Obama-care.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 23:02 | 4996514 EscapingProgress
EscapingProgress's picture

The ladies like a killer.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:55 | 4992551 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Hassan chop!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:00 | 4992573 surfsup
Wed, 07/23/2014 - 23:59 | 4996686 teslaberry
teslaberry's picture

hey surf, i went back and asaw a comment you wrote about a llawsuit you filed. you should be careful and mindful of what you are doing.

i'm a lawyer and from my extensive reading and paying attention to the news, there seem to have been incidents where filing repeated lawsuits in very sensitive areas will, at the very least get you a serious profile with the powers that be.

if the lawsuit is sensitive enough, and you keep refiling---you could get whacked.

just be careful.....

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:03 | 4992589 Bryan
Bryan's picture

+1 for a fellow Bugs Bunny groupie.  :-)

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:01 | 4992576 ugmug
ugmug's picture

Allahu Akbar ....wearing Halloween costumes.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:34 | 4992438 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

He'll fit right in with the Obamacare Death Panels.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:41 | 4992487 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

Amazing what a little CIA money will make someone do

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:55 | 4992545 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

Of course he'll be back to the hated infidels, no doubt demanding back pay for the time waging jihad.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:20 | 4992677 tonyw
tonyw's picture

from the linked article

"...Al Anzi was reportedly killed on July 11 in an Iraqi military air-strike on an ISIS assembly in Mosul...."


he won't be going anywhere

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:32 | 4992750 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Well there's one guy who's not worried about his non-dischargable student loan debt.

Just put it on the tab.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:26 | 4992391 XitSam
XitSam's picture

If Obama had a son ...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:39 | 4992470 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

LMFAO!  That's perfect!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:44 | 4992497 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

...he'd be shagging guys on the southside of Chicago.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:57 | 4992825 boattrash
boattrash's picture

I think we may have a Caption Contest Winner!

Way to go XitSam!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:22 | 4992366 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Here's picture number 4!

now who is he? I say, number 3!!... or 5... 5 is also a good one...



Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:27 | 4992396 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Dude, that is Backdoor Barry with some guys who gave bad head!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:23 | 4992373 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture


Looked a little fucked up as a doc, no?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:25 | 4992382 gmak
gmak's picture

Figs. it's figs, not virgins.  The original phrase was written in a dialect that said one would get figs - a rare treat. It's a bit like saying champagne and caviar for the rest of us, as a reward.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:40 | 4992480 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

The pedophile prophet was likely referring to virgin boys.


Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:43 | 4992493 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Well, I always wondered why Backdoor Barry liked Islam. Now we know.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 12:15 | 4993376 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

70 figs!!!   Party time!

Sounds pretty good, until you find out the alternative is virgins.  I mean, come on.  Figs or virgins?  Obviously the imam who said it translates as virgins got VERY POPULAR very quickly.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 20:04 | 4995783 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Heavenly reward inflation.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 15:43 | 4994630 KanKhaderKhanKan
KanKhaderKhanKan's picture

Know classical Arabic do you? Btw if Mohammed's pagan rivals - who had no qualms about calling him a madman and soothsayer - made no comment about his marriage to Aisha then how could you deem his behaviour deviant if Mohammed's peers didn't? Furthermore how old was Mary when she had Jesus? What does that make the christian god for impregnating a young child?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:59 | 4992565 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

I've heard it called a lot of different things, but never a fig.

Damn, now I got to throw away my fig newtons.

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