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Caption Contest: The Lifecycle Of An ISIS Fanatic

Tyler Durden's picture


From life-saver to life-taker...


Source: Al Arabiya


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Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:18 | 4992337 knukles
knukles's picture

My he happily reap his 1000 virgin reward.
Let God sort them all out
Hypocritical Oath Taker

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:22 | 4992363 Keyser
Keyser's picture

Reminds me of Achmed the Dead Terrorist... I KEELLLL YOU!!!!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:24 | 4992375 Croesus
Croesus's picture

"If I do enough to destroy America, maybe I can be next John McCain!"

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:26 | 4992381 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Don't worry, he'll be back when he needs another job. Once he's destroyed everything else near him and he realises there's no way in his 'heaven' he can make a decent living...

Then he'll come back to what he hates to make some money and pretend he likes us...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:29 | 4992407 linniepar
linniepar's picture

Ali Baba's circumcisions.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:34 | 4992435 The Phu
The Phu's picture

Scalpal??  I don't need no stinkin' scalpal!!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:40 | 4992473 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

Now that's a knoife!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:54 | 4992544 FuzzyDunlop21
FuzzyDunlop21's picture

"Unfortunately since there is no Obamacare in Iraq, I need to join ISIS in order to kill people instead of doing so directly with my MD"

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:01 | 4992577 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Exactly so.  He's much more dangerous with an MD than as a terrorist.


Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:13 | 4992619 Manthong
Manthong's picture

If you like your terrorist butcher doctor, you can keep your terrorist butcher doctor.]

Somehow, I don’t think Hippocrates was well regarded, or even regarded at all by Moohammid

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:14 | 4992648 rehypothecator
rehypothecator's picture

The surgeon's scalpel removes the evil, cancerous tumor from the otherwise good, healthy body.  The jihadist removes the evil infidels (and their nightclub or schoolbus) from the otherwise healthy country.  It's all the same thing, it just depends on what one thinks good and evil are.  

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:20 | 4992680 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

At ISIS University Med School he specialized in heart and lung removal.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:24 | 4992706 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



I saw the original movie with Mel Gibson...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:58 | 4992884 gold-is-not-dead
gold-is-not-dead's picture

He's just asking for attention or he's gay, that's not a terrorist.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:02 | 4992895 I am more equal...
I am more equal than others's picture




Doggie Houser Hamas wants to meet 72 virgin men.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:20 | 4993014 bobola
bobola's picture

The 3rd photo.

Is that a multi-beer coozie on his chest?

Is he heading for a soccer game, and wanting to avoid the high cost of stadium beer?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 12:09 | 4993343 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

....and a lawnmower in the garage, behind him !

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 13:42 | 4993945 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

...and I thought my medical internship was bad!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:26 | 4993064 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

Doctors without Borders

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 12:56 | 4993652 spekulatn
spekulatn's picture

He's just asking for attention and he's gay, that's not a terrorist.



Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:26 | 4992712 Poundsand
Poundsand's picture

Actually they only have one class.  Head removal.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:35 | 4992772 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

He was at the head of his class.

Ba dum, dum bump

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:42 | 4992799 Normalcy Bias
Normalcy Bias's picture

I'm gonna take your dwork. I'm gonna nail it to the wall. I'm gonna crush your boils in a meat grinder. I'm gonna cut off your arms. I'm gonna shove 'em up your icehole. Dirty son-a-ma-batches. This is fargin war!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:20 | 4992685 strannick
strannick's picture

Keynesian broken windows theory in the medical profession

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:26 | 4992714 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Before Obama-care...

After Obama-care.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 23:02 | 4996514 EscapingProgress
EscapingProgress's picture

The ladies like a killer.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:55 | 4992551 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Hassan chop!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:00 | 4992573 surfsup
Wed, 07/23/2014 - 23:59 | 4996686 teslaberry
teslaberry's picture

hey surf, i went back and asaw a comment you wrote about a llawsuit you filed. you should be careful and mindful of what you are doing.

i'm a lawyer and from my extensive reading and paying attention to the news, there seem to have been incidents where filing repeated lawsuits in very sensitive areas will, at the very least get you a serious profile with the powers that be.

if the lawsuit is sensitive enough, and you keep refiling---you could get whacked.

just be careful.....

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:03 | 4992589 Bryan
Bryan's picture

+1 for a fellow Bugs Bunny groupie.  :-)

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:01 | 4992576 ugmug
ugmug's picture

Allahu Akbar ....wearing Halloween costumes.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:34 | 4992438 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

He'll fit right in with the Obamacare Death Panels.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:41 | 4992487 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

Amazing what a little CIA money will make someone do

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:55 | 4992545 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

Of course he'll be back to the hated infidels, no doubt demanding back pay for the time waging jihad.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:20 | 4992677 tonyw
tonyw's picture

from the linked article

"...Al Anzi was reportedly killed on July 11 in an Iraqi military air-strike on an ISIS assembly in Mosul...."


he won't be going anywhere

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:32 | 4992750 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Well there's one guy who's not worried about his non-dischargable student loan debt.

Just put it on the tab.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:26 | 4992391 XitSam
XitSam's picture

If Obama had a son ...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:39 | 4992470 Headbanger
Headbanger's picture

LMFAO!  That's perfect!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:44 | 4992497 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

...he'd be shagging guys on the southside of Chicago.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:57 | 4992825 boattrash
boattrash's picture

I think we may have a Caption Contest Winner!

Way to go XitSam!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:22 | 4992366 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Here's picture number 4!

now who is he? I say, number 3!!... or 5... 5 is also a good one...


Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:27 | 4992396 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Dude, that is Backdoor Barry with some guys who gave bad head!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:23 | 4992373 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture


Looked a little fucked up as a doc, no?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:25 | 4992382 gmak
gmak's picture

Figs. it's figs, not virgins.  The original phrase was written in a dialect that said one would get figs - a rare treat. It's a bit like saying champagne and caviar for the rest of us, as a reward.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:40 | 4992480 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

The pedophile prophet was likely referring to virgin boys.


Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:43 | 4992493 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Well, I always wondered why Backdoor Barry liked Islam. Now we know.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 12:15 | 4993376 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

70 figs!!!   Party time!

Sounds pretty good, until you find out the alternative is virgins.  I mean, come on.  Figs or virgins?  Obviously the imam who said it translates as virgins got VERY POPULAR very quickly.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 20:04 | 4995783 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Heavenly reward inflation.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 15:43 | 4994630 KanKhaderKhanKan
KanKhaderKhanKan's picture

Know classical Arabic do you? Btw if Mohammed's pagan rivals - who had no qualms about calling him a madman and soothsayer - made no comment about his marriage to Aisha then how could you deem his behaviour deviant if Mohammed's peers didn't? Furthermore how old was Mary when she had Jesus? What does that make the christian god for impregnating a young child?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:59 | 4992565 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

I've heard it called a lot of different things, but never a fig.

Damn, now I got to throw away my fig newtons.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:07 | 4992611 Dugald
Dugald's picture


Frankly, I don't give a fig my dear.........!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:07 | 4992617 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

I think it was Hitchens that suggested that the word for virgins in the relevant piece of Koranic nonsense may have been borrowed from Aramaic (borrowing from other languages just as common then as it is now).  That being the case, the correct translation would be 72 'currant buns'.  Lol.  Either way, those guys are going to be extremely disappointed.

I think my favorite speculation on this comes from Family Guy though:

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:47 | 4992822 mc225
mc225's picture

is that even in the koran? someone said it was actually in one of the 'hadith thingies'.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:38 | 4993119 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Yep, looks like - just grabbed my Hitch book (God Is Not Great).  Hitch was referencing the work of Christoph Luxenburg.  My bad - it wasn't buns, it was just raisins (this deal is getting worse by the minute! lol).

Did a quick search and found this (3rd & 4th para):

"Christoph Luxenberg, a scholar of ancient Semitic languages in Germany, argues that the Koran has been misread and mistranslated for centuries. His work, based on the earliest copies of the Koran, maintains that parts of Islam's holy book are derived from pre-existing Christian Aramaic texts that were misinterpreted by later Islamic scholars who prepared the editions of the Koran commonly read today.

So, for example, the virgins who are supposedly awaiting good Islamic martyrs as their reward in paradise are in reality "white raisins" of crystal clarity rather than fair maidens."

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 15:58 | 4994704 KanKhaderKhanKan
KanKhaderKhanKan's picture

That's the wonderful thing about zerohedge one comes across obscure polemics cited by people who don't know the Arabic language: for instance in classical Arabic 'At-tin' means fig but according to that orientalist polemic 'at-tin' is synonym with the 'houri'.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 21:40 | 4996198 GuyJeans
GuyJeans's picture

Ive heard that before but unless taken out of context and unless figs have eyes ""And (there are) fair ones with wide, lovely eyes,-" 56:22

AND big tits "And voluptuous women of equal age;" 78:33 AND are able to marry "Even so (it will be). And We shall wed them unto fair ones with wide, lovely eyes." 44:54 the text is clear that they are women.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:34 | 4992439 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

The virgin thing must be the driver.

" I save you, to blow you up! "

Then he gets martyred, and stuck with a bunch of women that don't have the first clue of what to do with a cock if and when faced with one...

After all that and all the little sawed off fucker has to offer is fucking virgins.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:44 | 4992495 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

So let me see, when you're dead you're kind of dead for a long time right, and you can only be a virgin once right, or so it's alleged, so my question is, if you bang one virgin a night 'cos you're dead then logically if my maths isn't wrong, then you'd run out of virgins after one month. Does anybody else spot a flaw here?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:02 | 4992583 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

No, you worthless infidel pig.  Learned Islamic scholars have reassured us that you can keep banging the ex-virgins for as long as you want afterwards.  While still deflower the new batches as they arrive in.


Abdullah bin Abdullah al-Said Mohammed bin Hamed el-Khalifa

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:47 | 4992811 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Only if the nights in Big Mo heaven number 72.

Otherwise you're good for about 2-1/2 months.

But they'll all start fighting long before then and telling you to take out the trash and fix the clothes-dryer.

The only good part is you won't have to clean your shit out of her side of the garage.








































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:52 | 4992841 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture


Something went stupid and I cant delete it

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 20:09 | 4995797 BigJim
BigJim's picture

No, now that you've replied to it you can't, you fucking moron.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:47 | 4992512 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Not that different from America. We push abortions all day long and then open the borders wide "for the children". People have always managed rational disconnects when it comes to doing what the fuck you want to do. Everyone has an excuse for killing someone, and I'm sure it seems completely rational to them at the time....and some may find they simply enjoy it.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 13:22 | 4993812 Lionhearted
Lionhearted's picture

They blow up so fast!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 15:41 | 4994618 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

I bet he was a gyne.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:17 | 4992338 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

So he like to wear different costumes every year for Halloween.  So what?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:18 | 4992340 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

US has to convert more and more to keep the war going...otherwise no one gets paid

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:18 | 4992341 blabam
blabam's picture

Great succes!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:19 | 4992342 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Excuse me, which button was I supposed to press again...?....


Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:19 | 4992343 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Where is the part when he is in the White House for 2 terms?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:36 | 4992449 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Obama is a doctor too?!

This guy is simply incredible!



freedom fighter

holy warrior

and leader of the so called fucking free world! Hah!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:39 | 4992790 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

a veritable Renaissance man....

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:19 | 4992345 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Three steps to a greater understanding of Abrahamic faith.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:20 | 4992350 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

I say, we should offer every muslim in the west who wants to go there and fight for ISIS a free business class plane ticket!


Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:21 | 4992358 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

On a Boeing and then fly them over Ukraine or Isreal?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:24 | 4992374 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Do we think that the CIA could get some pretty good group rates from Malaysian airlines?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:23 | 4992379 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

well... kerosine doesn't come cheap... :)

but we'll need that plane to transport others so let's just fly them over Iran to be safe...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:42 | 4992494 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Boeing = Ryder truck.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:22 | 4992698 tonyw
tonyw's picture

put them in a Hercules then open the big door at the back when over the ocean, burial at sea, i heard it's a muslim tradition like what was his name obama bin laden or something?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:21 | 4992354 Rodders75
Rodders75's picture

Look at my chopper

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:22 | 4992365 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

He is a surgeon. 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:30 | 4992398 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

I think I have the exact same knife - cheap internet job, hollow handle, rat tail tang, soft-ish steel and a fake saw blade.  It's more a danger to him than anyone else, an utter piece of shit.  No one in their right mind would want to take that into combat, but it might be useful as a cheap stage prop - looks menacing enough with its 11 inch blade, but its utter, utter shit.  I wanted something to use for just chopping stuff around the garden, but there is no way I'd use it.  I'll probably drop it in at the police knife amnesty thingy tbh.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:34 | 4992432 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

I think the idea is that when they cut someone's head off they want to use the cheapest, dullest knife available. Watch some of the videos. They have no clue how to sharpen a blade evidently.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 12:22 | 4993431 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

I don't want to say I am desensitized to beheadings, but it certainly doesn't terrify me as the first beheading (clip) I saw.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:04 | 4992591 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

You use it as a throw down if you whack someone.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:22 | 4992359 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture


People will do anything to avoid paying back their student loans.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:22 | 4992361 Kina
Kina's picture

My he happily reap his 1000 virgin reward.


I hope they know that they are virgins for a reason..

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:27 | 4992395 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

:) +10

The best once are already broken to harness before they're 16

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:32 | 4992409 zzzddd1
zzzddd1's picture

Don't die a virgin, there are terrorists  UP THERE, waiting for you pic:

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:24 | 4992362 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Caption- 'Screw being a Dr., it's far better getting paid by dumb as stump U.S. American taxpayer thru CIA!!'

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:23 | 4992364 RiskyBidness
RiskyBidness's picture

This is what we are up against.....Brainwashing....American Hating......Insane individuals who would love to see the destruction of the US.

The sad thing is we have a US President who thinks these same things.  He is single handedly authoring its destruction from the inside!!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:25 | 4992387 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

Yeah. How about that? Weird, huh?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:07 | 4992610 semperfi
semperfi's picture

WB7, can you put Obama's face over that dude's face? 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:23 | 4992367 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

Photo1: Achmed, Sir, I'm afraid you have hemorrhoids.

Photo2: Achmed, I have a cure for your hemorrhoids.

Photo3: Achmed, quick question buddy, why exactly am I wearing C4 and why are you walking away from me with the detonator?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:22 | 4992368 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Middle pic:  "Check out my new scalpel !!!"

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:23 | 4992369 drchris
drchris's picture

I have a feeling that he'll cost less lives in his current job.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:50 | 4992523 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Northern Iraq may be safer than most hospitals given their death statistics, and just wait until Obamacare starts cutting doctors pay. I'm sure it will only get...better.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:23 | 4992370 doomandbloom
doomandbloom's picture

Astrologically some planet placements and house cup combinations are similar for butchers and doctors

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:22 | 4992371 Bosch
Bosch's picture

Only the good die young. 


Oh, and sometimes pieces of shit also. 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:25 | 4992383 Glass Seagull
Glass Seagull's picture

The fastest way out of my med school debt - it turns out - is to become a suicide bomber. Thanks to ISIS' school-debt relief program, I plan on being debt free in 3...2...1...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:24 | 4992384 MeMongo
MeMongo's picture

Hey what I do on my own time is my business! Yalls is just hatin!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:25 | 4992386 flyonmywall
Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:25 | 4992388 timeless21
timeless21's picture

dr. moderate extremist

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:55 | 4992389 Baby Eating Dingo22
Baby Eating Dingo22's picture

You can't fix 'em if they ain't broken!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:27 | 4992393 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Wow! I went on a summer Quran study retreat and look at the cool gifts I got!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:39 | 4992469 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Vacation Bomber School?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:27 | 4992394 BandGap
BandGap's picture

No snide remarks here. Just more eye opening for me. This is obviously a person who has seen and felt a number of circumstances in his life. That he made this choice is both perplexing and sad.

The value of life has declined so much, we must be very close to a very big war.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:28 | 4992405 Bosch
Bosch's picture

The Value of life hasn't declined, you are just more exposed to Muslims now. 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:40 | 4992411 Oldwood
Oldwood's picture

Or he is simply another indoctrinated religious idiot. Stupidity has been a recurring theme (daily) in the history of man.

Probably became a doctor to please his father and then discovered Allah-AK47. the religion of peace and 7.62x39.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:10 | 4992949 nhsadika
nhsadika's picture

the value of life has declined


>> Any legitamate total of the US interventions since WW2 shows total deaths in the many millions


Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:11 | 4992950 nhsadika
nhsadika's picture

the value of life has declined


>> Any legitamate total of the US interventions since WW2 shows total deaths in the many millions


Wed, 07/23/2014 - 12:15 | 4993384 Flybyknight
Flybyknight's picture

Yes, not prepared to be a suicide bomber but don't you feel the rage inside when you hear the manipulative lies of the western leaders. When you start losing friends and family this feeling of injustice must be terrible

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:27 | 4992397 Bosch
Bosch's picture

He is still a Dr., now he just has a Clitoral Removal Service. 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:52 | 4992837 mc225
mc225's picture

someone said the 'clitoral thing' only happens in certain african countries, which also happen to be islamic, but it's not an 'islamic thing' per se.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 20:15 | 4995833 BigJim
BigJim's picture

It's not. It existed before Islam, and occurs in non-Islamic cultures too.

Fucking barbaric. Ironically, despite feminists attempting to pin the blame on evil patriarchy, it's the womenfolk who usually carry it out. I doubt the men care... no, in fact, I bet the men would prefer their women to enjoy sex, they'd get more of it that way.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:31 | 4992402 Q-Q-Q
Q-Q-Q's picture

"I'm sorry you diagnosis has come back as Christian and there is nothing else we can do for you".

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:36 | 4992448 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

So, exorcism then, old skool.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:28 | 4992403 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

He bombed his internship.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:34 | 4992425 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture


Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:28 | 4992404 timeless21
timeless21's picture

There will be plenty of operations, they said..

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:29 | 4992408 MeMongo
MeMongo's picture

Photo 3

Smell this finger! It used to be the tester finger!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:29 | 4992413 viator
viator's picture

You forgot the last picture on him in a shroud.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:33 | 4992424 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

They get Corzined when they blow themselves up. Nothing left to shroud.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:31 | 4992418 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

... and no malpractice insurance needed!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:33 | 4992422 jay28elle
jay28elle's picture

Fullfilling my true dreams now.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:33 | 4992427 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

love that "we're number one" pose in the pic above


fuck Barry, get the drones

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:38 | 4992460 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

The logical evolution of Obamacare in pictures.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:40 | 4992481 Munkey
Munkey's picture

As a doctor, check my crazy eyes. Now da big knife cure dem, ok maybe not.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:47 | 4992513 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

"I picked a bad week to start sniffing glue."

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:17 | 4992666 FrankDrakman
FrankDrakman's picture

Shirley you mean "stop sniffing glue".

And I'm gonna keep callin' you Shirley.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:51 | 4992531 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

What is the difference between European mothers and some Muslim mothers?

The first wants to see her child grow up and the second wants to see it blow up.

Yeh, I know, this is a really bad joke, so here is another:

Pakistani turns up to heaven. Saint Peter asks him what he wants.

Pakistani answers, "I am here for God."

St Peter turns around and calls out, "Hey God your taxi driver is here."

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:52 | 4992533 pupdog1
pupdog1's picture

With Obamacare we can't afford scalpels, so now we use $11 Rambo knives from WalMart.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:55 | 4992543 TomGa
TomGa's picture

"Paging Dr. Akbar,  Dr. Allahu Akbar."

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:56 | 4992558 Reaper
Reaper's picture

He'll discover the truth. They were virgins,because no man wanted them while they lived.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:07 | 4992612 headhunt
headhunt's picture

The truth is their dicks are so small their woman remain virgins.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 09:59 | 4992568 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

signup for Obamacare or else

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 13:35 | 4992588 headhunt
headhunt's picture

Dumb - Dumber - Dumbest

edit:  The Good - The Bad - The Ugly

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:05 | 4992596 jay28elle
jay28elle's picture

I'm hoping for a spot in Jeff Dunham's show

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:07 | 4992613 BigInJapan
BigInJapan's picture

He became a terrorist because he's poor, right Bill?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:08 | 4992618 SMC
SMC's picture

You have to respect the strength of one who is willing to risk his or her life and fight for what he or she believes in.

What do we, as Americans, believe in?

What are we, as Americans, willing to fight for?

What are we, as Americans, willing to die for?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:54 | 4992854 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture


Easy one.

Black Friday sales.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:09 | 4992626 fredquimby
fredquimby's picture

"I scare you with my eyes, then I cut you with my knife, then I will... errr wait a mo, what's so heavy in these damn vest pouches?"


Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:16 | 4992660 silentboom
silentboom's picture

Death Panel.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:16 | 4992661 PGR88
PGR88's picture

Obama's interviewing him now for a senior HHS position.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:20 | 4992676 smacker
smacker's picture

   "That's not a breadknife I'm holding, it's my new scalpel"

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:20 | 4992681 mijev
mijev's picture

First, do no harm. Then again...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:21 | 4992691 tnquake
tnquake's picture

Oh NO, he looks like he's using a "Russian" AK-47!

Better not let Odumbo know... they are outlawed now!!

Oily Foobar!!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:25 | 4992710 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Is this guy angling to be Hitlery's dark horse contender?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:28 | 4992721 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

He'll cut her off at the by-pass.

(Another rim shot please.)

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:26 | 4992715 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

[Woke up with a hangover]

"I posed for what?"

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