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When Twitter Word Order Goes Badly Wrong

Tyler Durden's picture




 

AP wasn't hacked this time, but the following tweet shows why when constrained by 140 characters, one should be particularly careful with word order.

Leading promptly to this:

 

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Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:05 | 4992594 SloMoe
SloMoe's picture

Jeeze. Took me a couple of reads...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:06 | 4992601 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

Sometimes you just can't catch a break can you?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:11 | 4992639 gh0atrider
gh0atrider's picture

People who enjoy and follow twatting need to bring their head in for a pap smear.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:17 | 4992663 CrazyCooter
CrazyCooter's picture

I didn't know the Uke's worked for AP ... at least their correction time is improving!

Regards,

Cooter

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:22 | 4992702 Save_America1st
Save_America1st's picture

well, it's the AP, state-run, lap-dog, retard "media"...nobody should expect propper grammar or even factual statements for that matter.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:28 | 4992722 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

What a difference a comma can make.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:40 | 4992793 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Or a letter.

"What a difference a coma can make."

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:43 | 4992801 Eirik Magnus Larssen
Eirik Magnus Larssen's picture

Stay classy, AP.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:54 | 4993241 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

They should just change their name to the Associated Pravda.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 12:28 | 4993474 redpill
redpill's picture

And do you really need to tweet that to begin with?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 12:39 | 4993545 lance_manion
lance_manion's picture

Captain Wi Tu Lo.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:43 | 4992804 Oracle of Kypseli
Oracle of Kypseli's picture

Here is the one I use:

Woman, without her, man is nothing

Woman, without her man, is nothing 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:50 | 4992831 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Throw me down the stairs my shoes.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:56 | 4993244 Moe Hamhead
Moe Hamhead's picture

No price too high!  or,

No, price too high!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 18:06 | 4995284 Abbie Normal
Abbie Normal's picture

Granddaughter texts:  So Grandpa, are you going to bang Grandma?

Grandpa replies:  Sorry, but that door closed long before you were born.

Granddaughter:  OMG, that was supposed to be "bring", damn autocorrect!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:03 | 4992903 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

Let's eat grandma!

Let's eat, grandma!

Punctuation saves lives.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 13:37 | 4993905 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Let's shoot Dad.

Let's shoot, Dad.

commas save lives.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:17 | 4992667 synergize
synergize's picture

Waiting for US State Dept accusation of Russian involvement in 2nd Dutch crash - and then subsequent redaction...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:23 | 4992703 Stackers
Stackers's picture

first we'll need supporting YouTube clip ..... then retraction

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:28 | 4992728 Harlequin001
Harlequin001's picture

One's just crashed in Taiwan. Will that do?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:19 | 4992674 Manthong
Manthong's picture

A tweet is a terrible thing to waste.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:13 | 4992649 lester1
lester1's picture

Smithers fire that twitter reporter..

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:36 | 4992771 Took Red Pill
Took Red Pill's picture

Reminds me of a Carlin routine. At 3:22 "They might tell you that you're on a non-stop flight. I insist my flight stop! Preferrably at an airport. It's those sudden, unscheduled corn field stops that seem to interrupt the flow of my day!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DagVklB4VHQ

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:06 | 4992598 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

If the first crash didn't kill them the second one definitely did. 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:07 | 4992606 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

You only die twice.

The new Bond film.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:40 | 4992736 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Extreme double tap. 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:31 | 4992742 FrankieGoesToHo...
FrankieGoesToHollywood's picture

.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:06 | 4992602 Thought Processor
Thought Processor's picture

 

 

Waiting for this:  And said bodies now can not be identified.

 

 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:07 | 4992608 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

But where will they bury the survivors?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:07 | 4992609 jay28elle
jay28elle's picture

Stupid azz AP...  

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:08 | 4992614 rdenner
rdenner's picture

Let's EAT KIDS

Let's EAT, Kids...

 

COMMAS SAVE LIVES!!!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:09 | 4992623 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Sorry - a comma, wouldn't fix the headline.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:13 | 4992645 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

But, it would have helped...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:16 | 4992662 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Pretty much any kind of proof-reading before clicking "send" would have helped.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 12:48 | 4993612 N2OJoe
N2OJoe's picture

No, but a coma may have caused it.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 13:15 | 4993770 1stepcloser
1stepcloser's picture

Fuck you are right

Fuck; you are right

 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:10 | 4992631 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:19 | 4992678 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

I saw what you did there...

 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:11 | 4992641 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

Good Panda: Eats shoots and leaves.

Rude Panda: Eats shoots, and leaves.

Gangsta Panda: Eats, shoots, and leaves.

 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:09 | 4992624 Haager
Haager's picture

Damn, I hit the sell on that news. Can I get my monee back?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:14 | 4992652 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

Just think of all the algos that got 'freaked' out...

 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:12 | 4992634 lakecity55
lakecity55's picture

"Russian BUK Missile Hits Plane Landing in Eindhoven--Kerry"
'BUK disguised in nearby windmill--CIA"

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:12 | 4992642 wisefool
wisefool's picture

If I was a Tyler I would have titled this post. 

When THE Twitter Word Order Goes Badly Wrong.
Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:19 | 4992673 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

"If I were a Tyler..."

Subjunctive case.

[You're welcome - The Grammer Nazis]

 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:47 | 4992820 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Is your name really Pool Snark?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:25 | 4993035 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

"You're welcome - The Grammar Nazis"

[You're welcome - The Spelling Nazis]

 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:10 | 4992945 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Maybe he is a Tyler.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:13 | 4992646 potato
potato's picture

No need to clarify. The correct usage of "crash-lands" uses a hyphen.

It pisses me off how marketers are too dumb to use hyphenated words. "FAT FREE" isn't synonymous with "fat-free".... at least until you butcher the language non-stop for years and it effectively acquires that imprecise meaning.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:18 | 4992670 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

In English or American ?

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:22 | 4992696 pods
pods's picture

I think that your getting too technical for most people. Their not really wordsmiths.

pods

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:03 | 4992902 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

your rite...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:55 | 4993238 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

Noone rights good anymore...

 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 22:48 | 4996466 Sokhmate
Sokhmate's picture

For all intensive purposes.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 13:06 | 4993710 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I don't recall hyphens being that well covered in skool.

Then again, I might have been sent to the principal's office that day.

As a result, I'm often guilty of over-using them in an effort to make-up any deficiencies.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:13 | 4992650 4 wheel drift
4 wheel drift's picture

first ...  math went to hell... and now grammar follows...

 

we ARE in idiocracy already....

 

p.s. don't even mention geography...

(where is waldo ?) -lol

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:19 | 4992669 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

I could care less wat you say, your an idiot.

;)

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:21 | 4992690 Pheonyte
Pheonyte's picture

Your grasp of proper grammar is showing ... you typed 'you' instead of 'u'.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:07 | 4992906 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

U spelt grammer wrong and you dont need those three dots.  They confuse the meaning of you're sentence.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:03 | 4992901 youngman
youngman's picture

We Open

 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:18 | 4992671 SidKhadak
SidKhadak's picture

MH17 Chameleon: Operation Rapid Trident II

 

 

 

The announcement of U.S. BREEZE and RAPID TRIDENT II military maneuvers came on May 21, 2014 by Vice President Joe Biden’s office. Biden’s son, Hunter Biden, is a newly-named director of the Ukrainian natural gas and oil company Burisma Holdings, Ltd., owned by Ihor Kolomoisky, the Ukrainian-Israeli mafia oligarch, who is known as the «Chameleon». Kolomoisky has raised his own mercenary army, complete with the BUK missiles allegedly used in the shootdown of MH-17. Kolomoisky, the Governor of Dnipropetrovsk oblast in eastern Ukraine, has threatened terrorist attacks against Russian-speaking officials in eastern Ukraine, including assassinations.

 

MH17 Chameleon: Operation Rapid Trident II

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:17 | 4992672 Rinzler
Rinzler's picture

Love people, cook them tasty food.

Love people? Cook them. Tasty food.

 

I guess paying attention in grammar class was important after all...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:21 | 4992687 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

OU812 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:22 | 4992697 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

GRAMMA NEVA WENT TO KLASS AT SKOOL!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:43 | 4992806 SWCroaker
SWCroaker's picture

Throw the cow over the fence some hay.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:20 | 4992682 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

You would think that the character constraint would force some review or thought before posting.  Nope, just faster, stream of consciousness writing.....

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:22 | 4992693 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

Fuck her! Right? In the pussy. 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:25 | 4992711 RiskyBidness
RiskyBidness's picture

Dr. Engali......You are one funny person!!  HaHa!  That was classic!

 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:30 | 4992737 Vooter
Vooter's picture

LOL...and I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:34 | 4992754 G-R-U-N-T
G-R-U-N-T's picture

"BREAKING: Dutch military plane carrying bodies from Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 crash lands in Eindhoven."

Interesting, same basic theme happened in the new FX tv series 'The Strain'. Only it didn't crash land.

 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:34 | 4992761 alexcojones
alexcojones's picture

Tweets are For Twits & Twats.

Fuck Twitter

 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:30 | 4993079 Wakemaker
Wakemaker's picture

Narcissists and the syckophants that encourage them.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:37 | 4992776 Otto Zitte
Otto Zitte's picture

Translated by the same people who translate Putin to English.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:42 | 4992802 laomei
laomei's picture

that's what you get for hiring indians

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:47 | 4993187 Oh regional Indian
Oh regional Indian's picture

Well if the Indian's got anything right, it would be the english...ironically.

 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:42 | 4992803 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

That's why they invented comas.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:05 | 4992912 youngman
youngman's picture

I just went into one after reading that

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 10:51 | 4992833 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

This is what passes for 'journalism' today. The great newspaper reporters and journalists (prior to 1970) are rolling over in their graves.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:03 | 4992908 youngman
youngman's picture

They arrived minus all their jewerly, money, and anything of value..that is for sure

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:06 | 4992915 The Blank Stare
The Blank Stare's picture

Air Force One crashes outside of Detroit. The cause was determined to be from Obama giving head to the pilot.

Sometimes you don't need a comma.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:24 | 4993043 JohninMK
JohninMK's picture

It took them 9 minutes to realise what they had done.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:28 | 4993066 jstalin
jstalin's picture

Proper grammar here is not a comma, but a hyphen. It should have read:

Dutch military plane carrying bodies from Malaysia Airlines Flight 17-crash lands in Eindhoven.

 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 11:35 | 4993107 barre-de-rire
barre-de-rire's picture

funny to read ppl playing with grammar while their .gov announced 1 year ago than next child generation will not learn to write with pencil but only on a keyboard.

i cannot prevent myself to smile while looking my screen now.

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 12:00 | 4993276 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

A Tweet is a mental fart.....Everybody's happy when it goes away...

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 12:28 | 4993450 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

Does this bullshit drive another 3% bump for TWTR? Because, you know, it's just so important and critical to the world now. 

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 13:29 | 4993857 Moustache Rides
Moustache Rides's picture

Doh!

Wed, 07/23/2014 - 14:35 | 4994246 Jstanley011
Jstanley011's picture

I still don't get it. So the bodies are carriers of Dutch military planes?

Sat, 08/02/2014 - 05:58 | 5036982 S.N.A.F.U.
S.N.A.F.U.'s picture

You got it.  That's why flight 17 crashed - the bodies just couldn't carry a Malaysian civilian plane for the full flight.

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