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Please Don't Blame The Fed: Alan Greenspan Says "Bubbles Are A Function Of Human Nature"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Submitted by David Stockman's Contra Corner

C’mon Alan! Bubbles Are Caused By Central Bankers, Not “Human Nature”

Alan Greenspan just cannot give up the ghost. During his baleful 18-year reign, the Fed was turned into a serial bubble machine—and thereby became a clear and present danger to honest free market capitalism and an enemy of the 99% who do not benefit from the Wall Street casino and the vast inflation of financial assets which it has enabled.  His legacy is a toxically financialized economy that has extracted huge windfall rents from main street, and left it burdened with overwhelming debts and sharply reduced capacity for gains in real living standards and breadwinner jobs.

Yet after all this time Greenspan still insists on blaming the people for the economic and financial havoc that he engendered from his perch in the Eccles Building. Indeed, posturing himself as some kind of latter day monetary Calvinist, he made it crystal clear in yesterday’s interview that the blame cannot be placed at his feet where it belongs:

I have come to the conclusion that bubbles, as I noted, are a function of human nature.

C’mon. The historical record makes absolutely clear that Greenspan panicked time and again when speculation reached a fevered peak in financial markets. Instead of allowing the free market to cleanse itself and liquidate reckless gamblers employing too much debt and too many risky trades, he flooded Wall Street with liquidity and jawboned the speculators into propping up the casino.  Within months of his August 1987 arrival, for example, he panicked on Black Monday and not only inappropriately flooded with liquidity a Wall Street that was rife with rotten speculation and a toxic product called “portfolio insurance”, but also intervened directly to garrote the markets attempt at self-correction.

In that context he sent his henchman, Gerald Corrigan who was head of the New York Fed, down to Wall Street to break arms and bust heads in an effort to insure that firms continued to trade with each other and extend credit where their own risk control managers appropriately wanted to cancel credit lines to insolvent counter-parties.  Then and there, the Greenspan “put” was born, and the stock market was en route to becoming a Fed-driven casino rather than an honest venue for real price discovery. Indeed, the entire Greenspan-Corrigan mission in the wake of Black Monday was to force Wall Street firms and banks into price “undiscovery”.

Incidentally, in yesterday’s interview Greenspan belatedly confessed that he had caused Goldman Sachs to “undiscover” that Continental Illinois was a bad credit risk, and that, instead of demanding payment, they needed to see it Corrigan’s way. Not surprisingly, Corrigan went on to become a Goldman partner in charge of hand-holding the New York Fed’s open market desk, which is to say, an exemplar of how crony capitalism is done.

Goldman was contemplating withholding a $700 million payment to Continental Illinois Bank in Chicago scheduled for the Wednesday morning following the crash. In retrospect, had they withheld that payment, the crisis would have been far more disabling. Few remember that crisis because nothing happened as a consequence.

Well, that’s just the point. Free markets correct their own excesses when two-way trading is permitted to run its course. At the time of Greenspan’s first panic, the financial markets were laboring under the pressure of Washington’s huge debt emissions owing to the giant Reagan deficits. In that context, interest rates wanted to soar in order to reflect the “crowding out” effect of Uncle Sam’s massive borrowing—a path that would have laid the stock market speculators low for years to come. And it would have also generated a fiscal clean-up package in Washington that would have nipped in the bud the lamentable Reagan era myth that “deficits don’t matter”.

In short, owing to his Black Monday panic Greenspan let both the Wall Street gamblers and the Washington spenders off-the-hook, and launched the nation on the road toward the debt and speculation-riven crony capitalism that prevails today. So the claim that “nothing happened as a consequence” could not be farther from the truth. What happened was the onset of a historic calamity—that is, the official repudiation of free markets, fiscal rectitude and sound money.

And there was more. As is also well known, on the next morning (Tuesday), the futures market in Chicago and stock exchanges in New York came to a dead stop and were heading for another cleansing free-fall, when suddenly massive buy orders came in from Fortune 500 companies to buy their own stock.  That didn’t happen by accident. Ayn Rand’s former disciple was busy at work over-riding the free market and jaw-booning CEO’s into their first great foray into stock buybacks—-a speculative pursuit which has now become an institutionalized disease in the C-suites.

In the years that followed the same pattern ensued at each point the markets attempted to rectify themselves. That includes 1994 when the bond market and mortgage back securities market went into a cleansing tailspin, but instead of allowing the money market rates to rise to market clearing levels, the Greenspan Fed panicked and capped the rise at just 300 basis points. That is, at a fraction of what Volcker had permitted and far below what was needed to arrest the incipient financial bubble that was already then underway.

Likewise, during the 1998 Russian and LTCM crisis, Greenspan panicked once again and slashed interest rates to save speculators in Russian securities and domestic hedge funds, and jawboned Wall Street into bailing out LTCM. Needless to say, the latter was a reckless gambling den that had been leveraged 100:1 by the very same Wall Street firms that Greenspan organized into a mafia-like cartel designed to prevent the free market from working its will, and to spare the offending Wall Street firms from taking their lumps.

By now, therefore, the “Greenspan put” was deeply implanted in the casino. That became fully evident when the market soared in 1999 after Greenspan’s late 1998 panicked rescue of the speculators. The Wall Street gamblers now understood that shorting over-bought markets was dangerous and that buying the dips was the route to fabulous riches for fast money traders. The era of one-way markets had thus been launched.

Yet by that point Greenspan had been crowned the “Maestro”, causing him to throw any remaining semblance of sound money and respect for market price discovery to the winds. Even as the NASDAQ and dotcom stocks soared to insane heights in the spring of 2000, Greenspan told a congressional committee that there was no evident financial bubble and that the Fed could not prevent one if there were. A noxious lies was thereby born.

And then it got worse after the dotcom crash. Beginning on Christmas eve 2000 the Fed began to slash interest rates, and didn’t stop its meeting after meeting cuts until it had lowered the funds rate to an unprecedented 1% by the spring of 2003.  By then, of course, the housing bubble was already galloping toward its eventual destructive demise, but the Greenspan Fed was oblivious.

Even during the first bubble of the 1990s, the home mortgage market had been reasonably well-behaved and gross mortgage originations rarely exceeded $1 trillion annually until the end of the decade. But at the time that Greenspan made the final federal funds reduction to 1.0% in Q2 2003, the annualized run-rate of gross mortgage originations had soared to the outlandish sum of $5 trillion.

Indeed, the whole housing bubble finance mechanism of homeowners raiding their own ATM (i.e. equity in their homes) was underway, and a debt fueled boom in housing prices was entering its final lunatic phase.  But Greenspan saw no bubbles at all. Nor did he have a clue that a giant financial crisis owing to his destruction of honest financial markets was just around the corner when he exited the Eccles Building early 2006.

Notwithstanding this sorry history, Greenspan did the world a large favor in yesterday’s interview while trying to justify his Calvinistic blame of “human nature” for financial bubbles. He claimed that the Fed tried to stop a bubble when it tightened in 1994, but that effort failed—thereby proving, apparently, that central banks are no match for human nature.

Accordingly, bubbles needed to be allowed to run their course. Henceforth, the Fed would function as a clean-up brigade with a mission to flood the market with liquidity after the fact—that is, to operate the very kind of bubble finance policy that has now become deeply and destructively institutionalized.

 The Fed tried in 1994 to defuse a bubble with monetary policy alone. We called it a boom back then. The terminology has changed, but the phenomenon is the same. We increased the federal funds rate by 300 basis points, and we did indeed stop the nascent stock-market bubble expansion in its tracks. But after we stopped patting ourselves on the back for creating a successful soft landing, it became clear that we hadn’t snuffed the bubble out at all. I have always assumed that the ability of the economy to withstand the 300-basis-point tightening revised the market’s view of the sustainability of the boom and increased the equilibrium level of the Dow Jones Industrial Average. The dot-com boom resumed.

 

When bubbles emerge, they take on a life of their own. It is very difficult to stop them, short of a debilitating crunch in the marketplace. The Volcker Fed confronted and defused the huge inflation surge of 1979 but had to confront a sharp economic contraction. Short of that, bubbles have to run their course. Bubbles are functions of unchangeable human nature….

No better indictment of monetary central planning and money market interest rate pegging could be delivered. Greenspan institutionalized macroeconomic management through rigid control of the funds rate and  by an intolerance for money market movements of more than 25 basis points. In the process, “price discovery” was supplanted by “price administration”.

More importantly, the single most important price in all of capitalism—-the price of hot money on Wall Street—-was shackled. The carry trades were soon off the races because cheap and predictable overnight funding costs are the mothers milk of financial speculation.

Once upon a time, Wall Street would cure its own excesses when the “call money” rate soared by hundreds of basis points during a single day, and rates sometimes reached deep into double digits when speculation got overheated. Yet it was that vital market-clearing mechanism, that instrument of financial market self-correction, which Greenspan now admits he destroyed in 1994 when he capped the funds rate rise at 300 basis points.And then he became puzzled as to why just a short time later the mania reignited.

It goes without saying, of course, that the free-market/sound money Greenspan of the days before he became head of the monetary politburo in Washington would not have been puzzled at all.

 

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Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:42 | 5005188 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

human nature, namely being stupid enough to put up with a central bank

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:44 | 5005196 john39
john39's picture

perhaps in his nature. and i wouldn't be so sure that is human.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:49 | 5005212 Au_Ag_CuPbCu
Au_Ag_CuPbCu's picture

I have come to the conclusion that bubbles, as I noted, are a function of human nature.

 

Absolutely true if you actually believe that anything human inhabits a central bank.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:52 | 5005224 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture

 

 

 

a function of human nature when a central bank juices the money supply.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:00 | 5005258 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

"I have come to the conclusion that bubbles, as I noted, are a function of human nature."

His statement is true - it was his "human nature" and thinking he knows whats best for the market, that caused the bubble!

"The only one who knows more than anyone, is everyone." - Napoleon

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:02 | 5005274 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Could this fucker be any more evil?

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:05 | 5005284 Manthong
Manthong's picture

“Bubbles Are A Function Of Human Nature”

The old fart discovered this whilst sitting in the bathtub and looking down between his legs during a gastrointestinal pressure release.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:07 | 5005295 Badabing
Badabing's picture

Bankers are human?

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:33 | 5005402 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Yes!

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:37 | 5005430 Leonardo Fibonacci2
Leonardo Fibonacci2's picture

Greenspan was part of the big swinging dicks club.  Only one problem, he has a vagina.  Old fuck is 87 and dating a 32 year old!!! Fucking vampire.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:39 | 5005438 max2205
max2205's picture

Pure coincidence

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:03 | 5005513 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

How do we know that 37 year old is not a corpse kept in cold storage?

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 19:21 | 5005759 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Let's see......

from the perspective of a 32 year old......

Looks or money?

Just asking.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 19:25 | 5005780 NihilistZero
NihilistZero's picture

Evertime I think of or see Greenspan's "looks" I get a feeling of burning psychotic rage...  He really puts me in touch with my inner Alex DeLarge.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:39 | 5005434 max2205
max2205's picture

This never would happen except for Viagra.

Fucking old men on Viagra

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:37 | 5005427 r00t61
r00t61's picture

The better question is, how did this current Greenspan come to be, from his earlier self?  Who bought his soul, and what was the price?

Alan Greenspan, Gold and Economic Freedom, 1967

http://www.constitution.org/mon/greenspan_gold.htm

  • "Thus, under the gold standard, a free banking system stands as the protector of an economy's stability and balanced growth."
  • "...the realization that the gold standard is incompatible with chronic deficit spending (the hallmark of the welfare state). Stripped of its academic jargon, the welfare state is nothing more than a mechanism by which governments confiscate the wealth of the productive members of a society to support a wide variety of welfare schemes."
  • "This is the shabby secret of the welfare statists' tirades against gold. Deficit spending is simply a scheme for the confiscation of wealth. Gold stands in the way of this insidious process. It stands as a protector of property rights. If one grasps this, one has no difficulty in understanding the statists' antagonism toward the gold standard."
Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:04 | 5005517 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

When Satan speaks, all the central bankers listen.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 19:00 | 5005700 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

And when the central bankers speak (especially the BIS) Satan listens.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 19:21 | 5005764 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Maybe NSA has something REALLY good on him.

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 23:32 | 5008793 RichardParker
RichardParker's picture

"Who bought his soul, and what was the price?"

Maybe it went down like this?  I dunno...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCu9vOpwMp0#t=0m52s

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 13:41 | 5007432 Eirik Magnus Larssen
Eirik Magnus Larssen's picture

Sociopath 101: Blame the victim.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:55 | 5005685 Eirik Magnus Larssen
Eirik Magnus Larssen's picture

Sociopath 101: Blame the victim.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 19:10 | 5005723 logicalman
logicalman's picture

Bubbles are in the nature of the greedy fucks who make up the rules to benefit themselves and their cronies.

As for Greeny being human, if he is, then I hope I'm not - would not wish to be associated.

 

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 10:35 | 5006949 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Yes john, it's in his nature.  And in the nature of his... ilk.

Plan accordingly.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:51 | 5005214 ejmoosa
ejmoosa's picture

Human Nature?  It has not been proven to me those assholes at the Fed are human yet...

They sure as hell seem to live longer than what I would think their expcatancy should be.

 

BTW, for all those here that suggested "The Creature from Jekyll Island", I thank you.

 

I should not have waited so long to read it.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:17 | 5005340 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Vengence & Revenge are also a function of Human Nature. These Pure Evil, Sick, Psycopaths / Sociopaths Murdering Scum Fucks deserve every bit of the Wrath that's coming their way.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:49 | 5005216 Cattender
Cattender's picture

Bubbles Greenspan... LOL! Janet (the Crazy old Cat Lady) Yellin will make the rest look like NOTHING! LOL!

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:13 | 5005324 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:44 | 5005639 Ariadne
Ariadne's picture

I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore, Janet!

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 10:44 | 5006976 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

And his wife, Andrea Mitchel, is on CNN.  Anderson Cooper is a Rockefeller descendant, Christiane Amanpour is a Shah Iranian, etc, etc, etc.

It's a small club, and we ain't in it.

p.s. IMO, CNN went downhill after they got rid of Aaron Brown.  He was too truthy, fair and balanced for their Globalist agenda.  Go Aaron! 

   https://secure.huffingtonpost.com/news/aaron-brown/

   http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2011/03/former_cnn_anchor_aaron_bro...

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:46 | 5005408 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Unpopular fact.  Out of the 196 countries in the World, only 3 donot have a central bank. Cuba, North Korea and Iran.

 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:59 | 5005495 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

In 2000, there were 7. Afghanistan, Iraq, Sudan, Libya were also on that list. We sure expanded the the ultimate franchise....counterfeiting.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:04 | 5005516 GeorgeWKush
GeorgeWKush's picture

But...but...but... those are all bad countries. Then central banking must be good?

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:22 | 5005568 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job!

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 19:36 | 5005821 Chief Wonder Bread
Chief Wonder Bread's picture

Somalia has a central bank?

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 19:50 | 5005730 caconhma
caconhma's picture

 

 

Both David Stockman and Allan Greenspan are lying. For the last 100 years, the Banking Mafia (FED, UCB, etc.,) have deliberately created financial bubbles for purposes of taking political and financial control in the USA and Europe.

They started slowly but, starting with Ronal Reagan administration the process has gained a lot of momentum. Using FED money and its agent, Banking Mafia first destroyed and took over the Savings & Loan industry and then using "leveraged buyout” started to take control over major Western World corporations and businesses.

This process has to take some time since it is necessary to create a boom-bust economic environment. Otherwise, printing too much “free” money would create hyperinflation and major economic & political instabilities both in the USA and Europe. The game is to print as little money as possible and still take a control over US & EU economies. Therefore, this wealth transfer must take place at the bottom of economic cycle following a bubble collapse.

Consequently, Greenspan has done his job very well but he cannot speak openly about it. So, he is lying to mislead about the FED real objectives.

 

 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 20:17 | 5005954 putaipan
putaipan's picture

ah c'mon... give the guy a break- he's ancient. this insight might have been a senior eureka moment in the bathtub.

naw. i take it back- may he spend the rest of his own personal eternity servicing ayn rand decomposing snatch.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 20:18 | 5005956 caShOnlY
caShOnlY's picture

He's in charge of the financial system of the United States of America.   It was the financial system that blew up and is now FUCKED UP BEYOND ALL RECOGNITION.  WE ARE A CREDIT MONEY NATION, a nation of fucking BROKE DEBT DONKEYS one paycheck away from bankruptcy on any given week in the calendar, and this fukking assole says "DONT BLAME ME?????"   As if we didn't know his "tribesman" benefitted greatly from these decisions?

hang this fucking clown NOW!!!

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 16:25 | 5007865 reinhardt
reinhardt's picture

greenspan is a good liar

The Indisputable Connection Between Outsourcing Projects And Stock Markets (Part 1)

http://enronnext101.wordpress.com/

r

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:42 | 5005192 sschu
sschu's picture

Yea sure Alan.  

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:43 | 5005197 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Arrest him before he dies.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:11 | 5005312 Two-bits
Two-bits's picture

Execute him before he dies.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:20 | 5005349 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Publicly. The World should make an Exaple of this Pure Evil excuse for a human being.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:24 | 5005575 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Better yet, fill his veins with goo and put him on display like Lenin in the Eccles Building Rotunda.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 19:57 | 5005885 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

How about moving on to the other Bankers in the Cartel?

How about stripping them of their accounts and forcing them into Exile.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:44 | 5005200 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

Fuck you Greenspan.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 19:15 | 5005746 villainvomit
villainvomit's picture

Yeah, yeah......and fuck all his irrational Greenspeak....I mean irrational Greenspank.......It must suck to be old, wrinkly and a worthless con bastard with an overactive vocabulary.

But, hey....Jamie will be there soon ! 

Unless we get the ultimate death match up and running.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:46 | 5005206 syntaxterror
syntaxterror's picture

That poor faggot must miss having millions of people trying to parse his meaningless banter. Fuck you douchebag.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:00 | 5005498 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

He was a master at spohistry.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 19:36 | 5005809 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

For my two cents i'd say "sophistry" is an overly generous adjective to describe Greenspans obfuscations.  He was a great pivot man at the punch-bowl, and nothing more.

Pulling down the pants of the unborn children of the USA, so that forces unknown and uncontrolled by them can sodomize them, is a hell of a legacy.  Congrats Alan!

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 20:01 | 5005894 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Granted the Congress has the power to change things, but has been completely "Paid For" or Blackmailed by NSA.

But Greenspan has never saved the USA from Fraud and Banker Crimes, so maybe he is just like the Washington DC Politicians. They stand up there is lead everyone away from the topic, the background, the results of previous legislation, the Power Players, the Interest Groups.

Should call Greenspan "Staying on Message" Greenspan. Just like Janet "Staying on Message" Yellen.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:47 | 5005209 SilverMoneyBags
SilverMoneyBags's picture

Another Jew banker laughing at us all. This is why Hitler proposed a final solution to Jews raping the wallets of goyim.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:08 | 5005300 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

So you are saying your true enemies are:

Sociopaths

Fractional reserve lending

Usury

& Fiat currency?

Well why didn't you say so!

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 20:05 | 5005901 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

How about

European Empire Systems
European banking Systems
European Military Traditions
People that want to be Royalty, like Royalty, or held as better than all other people

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 19:08 | 5005721 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

If you delve deep into the history as I've done you'll find his final solution was to expel all of Europe's Jews. He considered Russia, Palestine, Madagascar and Uganda. Nowhere is he on record as saying that Jews must be exterminated.  Now get going with the reds. 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 20:10 | 5005923 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Pull up Russia's Communist Revolution and you actually see a lot of Jewish Intelligentsia.

I just saw where Markcus Wolf was a German Jew, then moved to Russia as a child since his father like communism, then Wolf goes on to be Spy Master for East Germany in Stasi.

So the Intelligentsia are attracted to Communism or were. Which is why many in the USA think Obama is communist. Saul Alinsky and all that.

Weird that Educated Jews were on one side and help create communism.

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 04:25 | 5006665 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

True. My own belief is that their attraction to Communism was/is not driven by its egalitarian and spread-the-wealth objectives rather by its capacity to undermine traditional Western/Christian institutions.

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 08:56 | 5006826 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

Another Perspective:

The Jews that I know  think that they are the elite,  the Chosen People.  Everyone else is to be their servants. It's in their attitude, their behavior, and their philosophy.

Therefore, why wouldn't they believe in Pure Communism as the best way to achieve and keep the superior position??

Look at the take over our FED and Treasury in just the last 40 yrs. Nearly 100% Jewish, and then there's Richard Perle, a chief architect of the war with Iraq. 

Those in denial of the aggressive Jewish seeking after a monopoly on power all over the world have bought into the Holocaust, and forgot the real motive behind the Jewish conspiracy, or, if you prefer, Coincidence of Interests by the Neo-Cons.  World domination:  NEVER AGAIN.

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 10:50 | 5006996 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

One thing I noticed as VP of a major tech company was that Jewish execs did everything in their power to recruit and promote other Jews.  Frequently this was bad for  the company and in one case a group of them IMO 'robbed' valuable IP and formed a separate company.  I believed that we had strong legal grounds to sue them but word came from the Board that no action was to be taken. 

Remember this is almost totally a zero-sum game. For every one of their own that they shoehorn into position a 'gentile' loses out.  People should realize that.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:47 | 5005210 Ariadne
Ariadne's picture

Don't blame Greenspan for being a backstabbing parasite.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:56 | 5005243 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

GreenRand.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:03 | 5005512 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

/sigh. Let Them Eat Non-Sequitur

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:38 | 5005630 LetThemEatRand
LetThemEatRand's picture

Or Let Them Eat Words and ignore Acts.  

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:48 | 5005211 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

It is human nature for the elite to fuck over the man/woman in the street.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:57 | 5005488 Spigot
Spigot's picture

So, he is using the ol' "only human" excuse. Same can be applied as an excuse for every fuck up, fuck over, fuck around and fuck fuck. So, now we know....they are only human.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:56 | 5005691 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

to err is human

to really fuck things up takes a government

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:49 | 5005215 TNTARG
TNTARG's picture

"Human", mmmm..... I doubt it.

Of "his" Nature, yes.

Refrasing, "Bubbles are a Funcion of Greenspan's Nature". 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:53 | 5005229 petolo
petolo's picture

Give the Greenscum a one way ticket to Hotel Hammas in beautiful downtown Gaza.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:50 | 5005217 seek
seek's picture

FIne, Alan. If that's the case all the more reason to not fucking feed them with ZIRP and other fanciliy-named money printing. All the more reason that knowing this is that case, that the Fed is responsible for the bubbles by printing anyway.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 19:12 | 5005731 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

Nice try but you can't really reason with corrupt, lying scumbags.

 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:51 | 5005219 stant
stant's picture

Tulips are found in nature, lets do that one again

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:55 | 5005220 olle
olle's picture

"I have come to the conclusion that not admitting any wrongdoing, as I noted, are a function of human nature."  Alan Greenspan

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:52 | 5005221 Seer
Seer's picture

And he's correct!

As long as we're wired for growth it is CERTAIN that we will overshoot on one thing or another.  Clearly humans don't know when to "pull out" (there's 7+ BILLION of us; clearly we insist on "going ALL the way" time and time again).  So, things go until the wall is hit.  I don't think that any logical person could find a fault in logic here.

There are only three states in which something may be found:

1. Expanding;

2. Contracting;

3. Steady.

State #3, Steady, is only ever a brief moment in time as a transition marker between states #1 and #2.  To suggest that one has the ability to maintain something in a Steady state is absurd; and, to do so when the the premise of that which one is involved is a predicated on growth, well....  yeah, we want growth, and someone/something CAN change the state as something approaches a "bubble" means that it has to CONTROL it.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:42 | 5005443 McCormick No. 9
McCormick No. 9's picture

I think the term you're searching for is "homeostasis". That's where things go up a little until they're pulled down, and then they go down a ittle until they're pulled up again. But the ups and downs aren't that far apart.

We fuck around with homeostasis at our own peril. You're kid is bouncing off the walls because he's a... well, a kid, so you give him some ritalin, and now he's all depressed, so you give him some adderall, and now he's all bi-polar (cause you fucked with his brainchemistry) so you give him some ithium, and now he's gone and shot 20 of his classmates and he's been shot by the SWAT team.

It's a perfect anaology for what Greenspan has done. Fuck Greenspan.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:52 | 5005226 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"During his baleful 18-year reign, the Fed was turned into a serial bubble machine—and thereby became a clear and present danger to honest free market capitalism and an enemy of the 99% who do not benefit from the Wall Street casino and the vast inflation of financial assets which it has enabled."

Great sentence Mr. Stockman. 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:54 | 5005231 NOTaREALmerican
NOTaREALmerican's picture

What's his view on the price/earnings ratio these days?

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:11 | 5005309 BearTrap
BearTrap's picture

... and the price/equity ratio.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:54 | 5005232 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

Die already!

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:55 | 5005234 DeusHedge
DeusHedge's picture

Dear authors of Zero Hedge: what you're tired of is the American People. People like Saul, Alan Greenspan, and George Soros get to laugh as the world is turned into a bubble to facilitate the dollar's dominance. I will say I would rather live in the US than anywhere else, but where leaders are required utter ignorance will not avail. Correct the standard of living, and people will finally wake up and vote.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:56 | 5005236 DOGGONE
DOGGONE's picture

Real asset price histories are kept rarely seen because they show bubbles SO WELL.
http://www.showrealhist.com/RHandRD.html
The main enabler of sizable asset price bubbles is keeping the real price histories out of sight!

Amateur attorney says: federal felonies include fraud, which includes false advertising, which includes deception by omission. Class actionable ...?

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:56 | 5005240 Stanley Kubrick
Stanley Kubrick's picture

Geeze, what a mug.

Ever notice how Satanists look insanely ugly?

Kinda like dogs resembling thier owners?

 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 19:17 | 5005750 Monty Burns
Monty Burns's picture

True. Kissinger, Brezinsky, Soros, David Rockefeller, Sumner Redstone.  The light of evil just shines through....

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:56 | 5005244 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

bubbles are a function of the fed and they aren't human.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:22 | 5005355 MASTER OF UNIVERSE
MASTER OF UNIVERSE's picture

Greenspan's Frankenstein from his 'Little Shop of Horrors' Fed, thanks

for unleashing the monster on us, Alan. I guess the townspeople will have to deal with Frankenstein again. Get the lanterns and torches

out again, folks. Baron Von Greenspan has invented a new monster

with an abnormal brain again. Round up the hounds!

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:58 | 5005255 daemon
daemon's picture

 


" Please Don't Blame The Fed: Alan Greenspan Says "Bubbles Are A Function Of Human Nature" "

Bubbles are a function of human nature: yes, there is some truth in this. And the FED is the criminal  instrument that not only allows but encourage this side of human nature to manifest itself without restraint, and make the most casualties.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:16 | 5005333 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Bubbles need plenty of soap to happen.

You just met Mr. Bubbles.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:38 | 5005372 daemon
daemon's picture

" Bubbles need plenty of soap to happen. "

Yes, a good way to put it, if I understand you correctly ( I assume that the soap means the actions of the FED : ZIRP and QE).

And think about it : to make bubbles you also need .... hot air .

And I would say that hot air represents things like jealousy, envy, narcissism, pride or hubris.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 20:20 | 5005964 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

They say Clinton allowed 5 Big Media Companies to Take Control of the US MSM.

Normally I place the biggest blame on Congress since they have the constitutional power to pass legislation. Like the Anti-Trust Acts.

NAFTA passed under Clinton and set the stage for CAFTA-DR. Probably the Bank Lobby writes this stuff, but Congress or the President Legalize the end of the US Constitution and the Coups that have taken place under G.W. Bush.

In the End we can't discount secret Cartels or Intelligence Agencies in all of this Destruction of the USA.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:58 | 5005256 yellowsub
yellowsub's picture

Only fart bubbles during a bath is a function of human nature.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:28 | 5005382 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

So are Quifs

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 16:58 | 5005259 Milton Freewater
Milton Freewater's picture

Shameless shit!

 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:04 | 5005266 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Do you mean the housing market attached to a unpaid asset used as a ATM machine? When the bubble collapsed, options were to burn down the inventory 

Alan, I can post your TV interview. Mind you, QE didn't exist. Imagine the greater collapse today. 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:00 | 5005269 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

This guy is giving lessons to the Concordia captain.

 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:01 | 5005271 starman
starman's picture

Just die you fuck!

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:02 | 5005272 QE49er
QE49er's picture

"...the United States can pay any debt it has because we can always print money to do that. So, there is zero probability of default."

So printing money doesn't cause any bubbles Greenspan?

Amazing the amount of death this jerk, Bernanke & Yellen will be responsible for.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:02 | 5005278 boeing747
boeing747's picture

Central Banks take advantages of human natures. Fix for you.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:04 | 5005281 anonnn
anonnn's picture

A person who lies for a living, knows that everyone lies.  So it's OK to lie to maintain your standard of living. Bubbles are just human nature.

Thus, all is well. No?

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:33 | 5005403 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Its well known that liars think everyone lies like they do.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:04 | 5005283 docmac324
docmac324's picture

Schick-schick

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:07 | 5005289 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Greenspan should stop pretending the tech bubble was anything like this mountain of shit going on now.  This bubble is not a function of human nature.  It is pure, nonsensical, without any basis in reality, Fed credit liquidity driven, speculation.  And as the Fed has been pulling back QE, at the same time all they have bought all the collateral out of the system, the dominos have started falling.  The stock market is going to catch down to reality.  Good collateral is king.  Because you either have good collateral to balance debt and leverage, or you have to print craploads of money to balance it.  And I am telling you, gold is going to come back in fashion with a vengeance for just that purpose.  They have already tried everything else, except the big print button reset where they bail everyone out. 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:07 | 5005291 novictim
novictim's picture

Lest we forget the revelations of 2008-->

 

Alan Greenspan: Well, remember that what an ideology is, is a conceptual framework with the way people deal with reality. Everyone has one. You have to — to exist, you need an ideology. The question is whether it is accurate or not.  And what I’m saying to you is, yes, I found a flaw. I don’t know how significant or permanent it is, but I’ve been very distressed by that fact.

REP. HENRY WAXMAN: You found a flaw in the reality…

ALAN GREENSPAN: Flaw in the model that I perceived is the critical functioning structure that defines how the world works, so to speak.

REP. HENRY WAXMAN: In other words, you found that your view of the world, your ideology, was not right, it was not working?

ALAN GREENSPAN: That is — precisely. No, that’s precisely the reason I was shocked, because I had been going for 40 years or more with very considerable evidence that it was working exceptionally well.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:13 | 5005545 Jackagain
Jackagain's picture

Yeah...exceptionally well for the central banksters...

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 20:27 | 5005983 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Anti-Trust

Did he say One Little Flaw

Banker Cartels
Banker Control of Regulators
Revolving Door from Industry Banking to Government
Fixing of Free Markets by the Fed/Treasury/Bankers
Rating Agency Capture, Independent Auditing Capture
Media Capture under Bill Clinton
Citizen Capture under G.W. Bush NDAA & Patriot Acts
Military & Police Capture under G.W. Bush DHS, TSA, FEMA
Congressional Capture by Lobbyist
US Constitution Capture by COUP

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:07 | 5005297 MASTER OF UNIVERSE
MASTER OF UNIVERSE's picture

David Stockman's synopsis of Fed Chair Alan Greenspan is the best

damn synopsis I have ever read on Greenspan. David Stockman is

very bright, super smart, and we need more from David Stockman.

I fully agree with this characterization of Alan Greenspan. This man blew the entire Capitalist system to complete bits all on his own. No one individual more than Greenspan deserves credit for destroying the Western world and Capitalism proper. What a true fuck up that man is and so are the institutions that educated him in terms of empiricism. Where did he get his graduate degree and what did he do his thesis on? I'm going to google it.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:30 | 5005600 MASTER OF UNIVERSE
MASTER OF UNIVERSE's picture

http:online.barons.com/public/article/SB120917419049046805

Dr. Alan Greenspan's de facto honorary Ph.D/thesis

Read it and weap for the world and your family.

Gird your loins, batten down the hatches, and stockpile commodities.

Greenspan's 'thesis' explains why we are living with SUBPRIME home loans/mortgages and why homeowners are using their homes as ATM machines. Greenspan planned the bubbles many many years ago. Empirical proof that Greenspan formed the criminal intent to blow up the world with dark pool derivatives. Fiancialization is Greenspan's 'baby'.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:08 | 5005299 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

nonsense...

A fiat system of debt based currency MUST expand. Allowing the system to 'cleanse itself' means allowing deflation to occur. That would have collapsed the system then. Instead new places for money to go (other than gold) HAD to be found...derivatives!!!

Greenspan knew and knows. The author of this article apparently does not.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:49 | 5005470 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Yup, the system collapes if every debt in the world is paid in full on 12:01 P,M. Friday the 21st.

Since that's hardly likely to occur, deflation, or contraction of credit, of which most 'money' is, is exactly what is called for when markets overheat.

Like Greenspan, you let a perfect theory substitute for reality.

Stockman has forgotten more than you'll ever know about money. If you read him you would know that to be true.

I suggest you do.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:15 | 5005329 Pumpkin
Pumpkin's picture

Judgment will come soon enough for that POS.  Then he can see how selling you soul works in the afterlife.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:19 | 5005341 Smartie37
Smartie37's picture

Yeah, just like the Japanese excuse for when things go wrong, like failing banks, crumbling economy, exploding nuclear reactors, etc........

"It couldn't be helped"

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:18 | 5005343 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

Soooooo, can we have your salary back?

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:24 | 5005356 Bioscale
Bioscale's picture

No shit. Greenspan, please shut the fuck up, you bankster cunt. You belong into prison with other the fucks from all central banks the FED and USA control. You and your cabal financed the biggest wars in human history, central banks cause bubbles in wars and central state power in order to bring your friends more power and control.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:23 | 5005357 Xandrino
Xandrino's picture

so why have the FED at all then? They surely couldn't stop it! FUCK YOU GREENSHIT

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:22 | 5005358 Radical Marijuana
Radical Marijuana's picture

It is human nature that the biggest bullies control others through backing up lies with violence. Central Banks are the Fraud Kings, who applied the methods of organized crime to capture control over the powers of the states that the War Kings originally built, in order to legalize private banks counterfeiting the public "money" supply.

After that privatized fiat "money" made out of nothing as debts system is legalized, everyone closer to the source of that "money" has every possible incentive to find legal justifications, as permissible excuses to make as much more of that "money" out of nothing as they possibly can.

THAT IS THE SOURCE OF THE CURRENT BUBBLE ECONOMICS, PRIVATIZED "MONEY," MADE OUT OF NOTHING AS DEBTS, WHICH CAN DISAPPEAR BACK TO NOTHING, AS A GOVERNMENT ENFORCED FRAUD.

Of course, Greenspan was a professional liar and immaculate hypocrite, who is promoting the biggest bullies' bullshit world view. But nevertheless, it IS human nature that the biggest bullies DO control the world, be being able to beat everyone else into submission. At the present time the biggest gangsters are the banksters, who have been able to apply the methods of organized crime to take control over the public "money" supply, which then enabled them to leverage that up and up, to control almost everything else!

Greenspan is right, but only in a disingenuous psychological way. He deliberately ignores the current ways that the biggest bullies' bullshit actually works through the banksters to create the economic bubble phenomena!

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:33 | 5005401 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Milton Friedmen's Wet Dream.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:37 | 5005424 negative rates
negative rates's picture

It's the culimination of 100 years of greed for the love of money and power. enjoy it, or don't, it won't last.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:28 | 5005378 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Alan,

Facebook hoody fuck is declared a billionaire. We'll, the little twat is in deep debt. See, he is not net positive in really owning 1.6 billion in assets debt free. The fallacy is, he owns a portfolio of debt valued at XXX amount. Many people like myself are debt free and clear. We can claim rich, not debt incurred IOU illusion rich. 

Welcome to the real world Greenspan. Tell Mark Z to go to Goodwill and pick himself up a suit.

 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:29 | 5005381 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Milton Friedman's son : Don't blame me I was just doing my job as Shaman for Reaganomics. If only "greed is good" had been better auto controlled...

After all, the Invisible hand is God's work. So blame God if the invisible hand was visible as Oligarchical scam. I did my job. But God and the market were feeble in front of human nature.

I love bubbles and its only human.

What would be TRULY INHUMAN  would be to have regulators who actually do their job sincerely. That would be the devil's work : STATISM,  like that guy La Guardia back in the old days! 

IMAGINE IF THOSE REGULATORS ACTUALLY DOWNGRADED STOCKS INSTEAD OF PUMPING THEM ON STEROIDS....

That would be the Crime of the Century.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:36 | 5005413 Bioscale
Bioscale's picture

The regulators are always bought. No way regulation might work in the long term. Regulators are the tools of the richest for their games, the central bankers fraud.

Market and open sourced information society is going to be the king I hope.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:46 | 5005462 falak pema
falak pema's picture

the day you stop being a human and become a Googled bigdata humanoid that virtuality will become true.

Until then...you be son of Sisyphus and you'll climb that hill.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:58 | 5005493 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Still hoping for more Govt. to fix what it broke?

Maybe we need to hire more 'experts'.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:08 | 5005524 falak pema
falak pema's picture

No government, no "we the people"...

Your choice as throughout history,  is simple : Oligarchs or Republic. The republic IS "we the people"  to work effectively, until HE, the Oligarch crosses the Rubicon. 

Reagan was that Oligarch (or his elected voice). 

Now is payback time.  Civilization slides back or the people refind their voice. And that leads to honest government. You don't need experts. You need sincere people who do what they say. 

But its a recurrent process, as the battle is never won. 

 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:30 | 5005386 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     Greenspam would be an excellent choice for the remake of Bram Stoker's origional Dracula...

   Greenspams natural bloodsucking traits would also be a plus for added effect.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:32 | 5005394 Super Hans
Super Hans's picture

I hope this fraud dies with his pock marked faced wife while in a lizard fuck embrace!

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:35 | 5005399 Flying Wombat
Flying Wombat's picture

Well yes, human nature - Greenspan's human nature.  

1) Take one ass kissing economist more interested in sucking-up to the oligarchy than his core principles that were tossed out the window in the 1970s;

2) Insert said blowhard into the Fed chair;

3) Sit back and watch him freak-out as the stock market lays an egg in 1987 

4) Presto:  fiat credit rains from heaven and the cycle continues to this day -- until it simply can't go on

Thanks Mr. Bubbles.  Now, go away.  R-E-T-I-R-E-M-E-N-T.  Live it.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:37 | 5005422 dracos_ghost
dracos_ghost's picture

Why is everyone listening to a talking testicle

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:45 | 5005456 daemon
daemon's picture

" Why is everyone listening to a talking testicle "

Please, it's not because this guy is a heap of manure that you have to be disrespectful ...... oups ! sorry .

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 03:51 | 5006630 Duffy Duck
Duffy Duck's picture

Draco:

 

tough, but fair....

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:42 | 5005446 kchrisc
kchrisc's picture

"The desire to put them to the guillotine is 'human nature' as well."

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:44 | 5005455 samsara
samsara's picture

I'm waiting CNN to do rebuttal report by their crack UN-biased hard hitting reporter Andrea Mitchell...

After all she helps him into his Depends every morning...

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:46 | 5005458 nosoeawe
nosoeawe's picture

the Grim Reaper is about to get you greeny boy. there is no stopping the S.S. Stroke thats coming straight at you.

Party my house when this piece of shit meets his father, the father of lies and throws this pile of dog shit in the lake of burning USDs

Signed,

Yellen is a fucking boot licking lying CUNT

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:45 | 5005460 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  Someone needs to throw this asshole into the 'La Brea Tar Pits' along with all the other dinosaurs...

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:57 | 5005483 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Historians will call this, the great Greenspan menstrual bubble cycles. 

/sarc

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:57 | 5005491 Keltner Channel Surf
Keltner Channel Surf's picture

Yes, Alan, everyone wants a piñata loaded with liquidity stashed inside a dirigible for X-mas, with you watching closely (between bouts of nodding off to sleep), dressed as St. Nick, holding a rather large hat pin . . .

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:07 | 5005526 pakled
pakled's picture

"I have come to the conclusion that bubbles, as I noted, are a function of human nature."

 

Then you should have left the normal business cycle bubbles the fuck alone!!

 

Hello!? Earth to Greenspan.

 

De Nile ain't just a river in Egypt, now is it?

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:10 | 5005537 Yancey Ward
Yancey Ward's picture

Bubbles are human nature, but it takes central planners to make one systemically dangerous.  

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:13 | 5005543 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

So what Greenspan is saying the people at the FED aren't human?!?!

 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:15 | 5005547 The Phallic Crusader
The Phallic Crusader's picture

death is a function of human nature, too.  I'm not sure that excuses helping it along though, eh?

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:16 | 5005550 shouldvekilledthem
shouldvekilledthem's picture

So much prejudice. No wonder that the people of ZH are considered as idiots. (not saying that Greenspan is not an idiot).

Humans are inevitably create bubbles in everything, be it bitcoin, stocks, or seemingly successful things. All the retards are trying to copy one another. It's hard coded during our evolution. 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:20 | 5005563 The Phallic Crusader
The Phallic Crusader's picture

I presume that you are also not saying that you are not an idiot, right?

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:25 | 5005578 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

hes so not an idiot. He's like litterelay not and idiot. Litteraley. totally. 

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 20:25 | 5005979 Wahooo
Wahooo's picture

We are herd animals. Tough being a primate.

Sat, 07/26/2014 - 16:20 | 5007853 thorsmjollnir
thorsmjollnir's picture

Regardless of whether bubbles would exist without the Fed, it's very difficult for anyone to refute the proposition that bubbles would not be as severe if the Fed did not exist.

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:23 | 5005566 spinone
spinone's picture

FUCK YOU GREENSPAN

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 20:19 | 5005958 TrustWho
TrustWho's picture

FUCK YOU GREENSPAN, FUCK YOU Bernanke, FUCK YOU Yellen and FUCK THE WHOLE FEDERAL RESERVE BOARD!

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:23 | 5005570 silverserfer
silverserfer's picture

Tylers, the Greenspan, it dies if you don't speaks its name.  

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:26 | 5005587 The Phallic Crusader
The Phallic Crusader's picture

if you speak its name 3 times into a mirror, that' how you summon Candyman.

 

The bringer of candy...

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:26 | 5005581 The Phallic Crusader
The Phallic Crusader's picture

It's like this - machine guns are dangerous, even in the hand of a member of Delta Force (like the SEALs, but they stick to the land and have to be very handsome).

But a monkey with a machine gun...

The Fed, is like the monkey, but instead of a monkey, it's someone deliberately trying to shoot you while pretending the weapon can't be controlled at all...

 

I got a C in "analogies, white privilege, and the decline of phallocentric hermeneutics" at Brown, what do you want from my life?

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