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Monday Humor: What "The Smartest People In The Room" Are Thinking
Presented with a stunned silence...
If consensus misses Q2 #GDP by as much as it did in Q1 but in the opposite direction, this would imply 7.0% growth for the quarter.
— Joseph A. LaVorgna (@Lavorgnanomics) July 28, 2014
And just in case Joe decides that tweet was ill-timed... we thought we would save it for posterity...
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That's a lot of forehead.
.
He may still be smarter than Yellen ... :)
The global economy is like a bad SNL skit that goes on for 6, 7, 8 years with no punch line.
I see Joe doesn't know about planning fallacy.
The average case is generally slightly worse than the worst case scenario.
Man they're getting fucking desperate to keep the bubble pumped up with stupidly insane bullshit like this!
Fuck you Joey boy! And the jackass you rode in on too!
That's why it's called a fivehead.
The only thing that will save the Q2 GDP print is more cowbell...
IF MY PENIS WAS A DIFFERENT LENGTH THAN THE OTHER MEN AT THE GYM BY AS MUCH AS IT WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL BUT IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION, THIS WOULD IMPLY 70% GROWTH FOR THE LITTLE GUY.
You lost me, HH.
But i'm still upping u because I think I should.
Just one more evidence of the great success of modern economics as a common sense removing brainwashing tool.
Joseph's professor: "Your exam results show that all rational thinking has has been removed and replaced with our Keynesian fantasy based systemTM. Here is your Ph.D. Joe, you are ready to go out in the world! Congratulations!"
Joseph: "Thank you! Deutshce Bank has already offered me a job working for some guy called Göbbels. I'm so pumped!"
The winner gets a TANK!!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118799/quotes
http://raru.co.za/movies-tv/23253-life-is-beautiful-dvd
Guido: [pretending to translate] The game starts now. You have to score one thousand points. If you do that, you take home a tank with a big gun. Each day we will announce the scores from that loudspeaker. The one who has the fewest points will have to wear a sign that says "Jackass" on his back. There are three ways to lose points. One, turning into a big crybaby. Two, telling us you want to see your mommy. Three, saying you're hungry and want something to eat.
EDIT: Oh yeah, and my apologies to the movie for using it here. The analogy falls down pretty quickly but I think yous will get it.
These useless shills are desparately clinging to the idea that any of these numbers (and their positions) actually matter. Sorry, there is no official or public market for true price discovery, there hasn't been for quite some time.
"Full faith and credit"....
tick tock motherfuckers.
And I bet you he's one of those uppety cocksuckers who would tell people that confedence or faith or whatever emotive bullshit is the biggest thing that matters in our economy.
Well he certainly believes that emotive bullshit has a place in mathmatics juding by that tweet.
Two trains leave traveling in opposite directions on the route from New York to Chicago - how does that make you feel?
If pigs could fly there would be a lot more pilots.
If shit was butter you could put it on your toast.
You could put shit on your toast, but that seems to be the job of TPTB.
If we had some eggs we could have ham and eggs, if we had some ham.
"GUESS WHAT?..........I got a fever!......and the only perscription....is more cowbell!" +100 priceless
Hell yes Keyser,We need some cowbell really bad.
I got the fever for more cowbell,I gotta have it!
Joe is such an ass clown
Yeah, thanks Joe. And if the queen had balls she'd be the king.
Someone has a nailgun to his head, he had to tweet that.
Which one of you clowns on ZH posted this on twitter because I want to bill you for the dry cleaning on my suit slacks:
Der Wolfanwalt @derwolfanwalt 17m@Lavorgnanomics @zerohedge And if I had another X chromosome instead of a Y I'd be a pretty princess, but it has no bearing on anything.
0_0
pretty might be a stretch...
If I had another X chromosome added to my XY then I'd be a hermophrodite.
Unfortunately that would have a bearing on everything. that is important to me...at least.
If you tested the Wookie then you'd find out that is what IT is.
Go fuck yourself would take on a whole new meaning.
pods
A "fucking" Ouroboros.
For those of you who were on the fence on alien life forms, Exhibit A.
...but the actors still think it's funny. We are just too stupid to get it.
So is an old yellow dog;)
This is also known as "whistling past the grave yard."
It pays to be an optimist. Especially while the central bank put is in place.
He should use a set of pom poms and a flag for his avatar
Hopium.
A face only his mother could love.
If he were a hamster his mother would have eaten him.
Looks like she already tried.
A Tim Geithner clone?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Timothy_Geithner_Treasury.jpg
Have you uncovered the Clonus conspiracy? Geithner and LaVajayjay are lobotomized clones? Makes total sense.
And they both look like Butthead from the MTV cartoon.
Joseph A. LaVorgna is a managing director and serves as chief U.S. economist in charge of U.S. macroeconomic research for Global Markets, Deutsche Bank Securities. He joined Deutsche Bank in 1997 from Lehman Brothers, where he was a vice president in the Fixed Income Division. He is a frequent commentator for CNBC as well as various other media outlets.
Prior to joining Lehman, LaVorgna was an economist at UBS Securities, and he started his professional career at the Federal Reserve Bank of New York.
Yep, he was hatched in one of the clone vats in the NY Fed basement, where they used to store Germany's gold.
Oh yeah? Well I was PTA president!
In other words he was germinated outside of lawful creation in an alchemical chamber normally used to turn gold into paper?
'taint nothing. I slept at a Holiday Inn last night!
So there!!
They both look like inbreds that refuse to stop looking at the sun.
He's talkin bout the illegals coming across boarder right?
Or coming across the border.
"That's a lot of forehead."
The better to BS the audience (sheep) with...
Seriously, he could sidelight as a sign.
"Eat at Joe's".
It's necessary to hold all the robotic chips...
He needs a lot of forehead- there is a whole lot of stupid in there!!!
Might even be a fivehead.
Or a bulkhead
a leaking, rusty one at best.
Definitely a Fuckhead
Not to worry, Bosley will take care of it.
That's not a forehead, it's a fivehead.
EDIT: Dammit you beat me to it.
More like a twelvehead.
Must be all the implants.
Dropping pearls of wisdom like that above - is it any surprise he looks like mega mind with a gheri curl? The guy obviously has enhanced cranial capacity resulting in an IQ of *TILT*.
Buy your point is well made, that is a lot of face to wash.
p.s. lavorganomics? No ego problem there. I got a small novelty mini book on lavorganomics in a bar washroom vending machine ones. There were 2 slots, 1 for a sex novelty and the other was for a sorted collections of small joke books. I didn't get laid but everyone thought I was fucking hilarious.
if only aliens would attack earth too....
Joe would shave his head ( a 3 day job ) and paint himself blue and blend in. FUCK THAT! LOL!
melon head's dome is so big my comment needed 2 spots.
I guess he can really give some head?
it takes 2 trips.
@BandGap: "That's a lot of forehead."
Nickname: Goodhead.
Foreskin would be better as he is a dickhead.
Down on his luck, schmuck.
Too much foreskin.
BandGap
That's called a fivehead.
It's an astounding forehead. His eyes are in the lower half of his head.
It's horribly fascinating. I don't think I've ever seen that before.
Most ridiculous finance quote ever?
And if LaVorgna ever got anything right, we'd all shit gold bricks. I, for one, wouldn't mind that gold brick...but I'm not holding my breath either.
Well, at least until you clean the brick off...
Shitting Gold Bricks will tear you a new asshole...Not for me.
No anal leakage of hemmorids for me. No...No thank you.
There are just some things in life which I value more than money.
There's Salvadore Dali economic math behind it all. If you take the x7 mulitpler of a banana and divide by an elephant cubed you get 7.00% after you finish the bottle of Rye while standing in a tub of jello.
Why? Blue of course.
You know, I kind of think that a Salvadore Dali moustache wouldn't detract at all from Joe's overall look.
He's certainly got a pretty enough mouth to pull it off, as long as he wears leather chaps while doing it.
LMAO. "Blue of course..."
His head looks like something in a Dali painting.
I hear the biblical plagues have started in China. The first (of ten) is the river of blood which just happened in China. Next will be frogs. Look for something to happen in France. Then number three is Lice so look for something to happen on CNBC and Liesman. Next is wild animals or flies so look for something to happen in India. That should hold our attention for awhile.
The implicit hot economy would surely explain why prices are going up.
Joseph A. LaVorgna, Managing Director and Chief US Economist at Douche Bag Bank.
...and IF my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle...
I call her my 'auncle'...
A monkey's auncle... thought that was just a figure of speech.
I'm sorry Bobby that you got a head like a potato.
Mister Potato Head!
Can you pin stuff to it and dress it up?
He got slobberin' drunk at the Palomino.
Joe's next tweet:
"I am responsible for 70% of the consensus miss and therefore control the economy."
yep we ate out 2 more times the past 3 months, so I take the blame for GPD going sky high this qtr..sorry.
Will that kind of brainpower working for them, it's hard to understand why Deutsche Bank is doing as poorly as it is.
Well since banks are now referring to bank deposits as "Deferred Revenue", DB probably has some strong quarters ahead.
What. An. Idiot.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_Kh7nLplWo
Gotta love prognostocation that starts with IF. I can get that 8 days a week from Cubs and Bills fans.
I am a 68 yo Cub fan and running out of time.
This guy Joe actually gets paid big bucks for this nonsense? And people listen to him?
No wonder that the SPX is near 1900 and DB is in trouble.
... and all the people who actually know something are unemployed.
How many Nobel Prizes has he garnered so far?
Hey, why only 7%, add a zero, douche.
If the S&P experiences the same volatility as in 2008 and 2009, but in the other direction, it implies the index will hit 2800 next March.
Lavorgna-nomics is his handle? what a fucking tool.
Sounds like a failed Italian dish baked in an Irish oven.
It's obvious that he doesn't care about being correct. His job is PR.
Isn't that true for all of the people on CNBC, Bloomie and FBN?
Yes.
it is supposed to be some kind of cynical humor or something like that ?
coz actually it is just pathetic end very retard comment.
anyway anything political, economical, said by any social media such amazing 140 caracter technology tweeter proove that long speech are pointless now. lets face it.
world turns by a 140 caracters publication method. before officials announces were public, now they can be made alone while pooing... on a WC.
wow.....
Print will be 2%. Final will be -0.5%
They won't print anything without a 3 in front of it. Final will never be negative again. They won't make the same mistake twice.
http://www.shadowstats.com/alternate_data/gross-domestic-product-charts
That is a classical Head and Shoulders formation on the Official Chart.
How can people miss this shit?
Believe it, or not, the SGS chart gives a better possible outlook from a TA point of view. Appears as if a Trendline has developed to the positive.
Lavorgnanomics ?
Is that the abbreviation for LavatoryOrganismMoronics ?
he's actually not a bad guy probably, I would like to have a beer with him.
then smash the pint glass into his easter island sized forehead...
Mwaaa hahahahaha
I don't know this guy. Is he being sarcastic or unbelievably hopeful?
The real tragedy is that he has a job ... and someone else hasn't.
As Jed Clampett would say, "Whooooooweeee that boy can cipher!"
Always upvote Uncle Jed.
How many guns would be needed to use the Department of Homeland Security's 2 billion hollow points if 5 million MS13 gangmembers and associates were to terrorize 340 million US citizens between the hours of 9pm and 8am if the US were under marshall law and MS13 worked for the DHS.
Why do you pose this as a hypothetical question?
Thats not a forehead, that's a fivehead
Below the fivehead choking him is a foreskin with a hemorrhoid for a nose.
Beat me to it ;)
If ifs and buts were candies and nuts, we'd all have a merry fucking Christmas.
Hey, somebody has to make Krugman look good.
Thats no easy job , give the guy a (back)hand won't you.
It's funny how the "consensus" is almost always wrong, yet they still consider themselves to be the experts and right about all things.
A roomful of idiots quickly comes to a consensus
2+2=7
Ok, now shit's starting to make sense.
Yes, in fact 2+2 = 7 for extremely large values of 2. And using hedonic methods of Lavorganomics, we can substitute 3+3 = 7 for only MODERATELY large values of 3 in order to arrive at the same outcome. This is how propserity is crafted.
2+2=7...
(-2) + (-2) + (-2) + (-1) = 7 as a whole number. And if it's viewed by a banker, you have to remember to see a consumer liability as a financial firm's asset. Customer's deposits are considered liabilities to folks like him.
jmo.
You got that from that orange chick at the IMF, DIDN'T YOU?
Seven.
I see what you did on 7/28/14.
Divide (by seven) and conquer.
Can clearly be proven using Common Core math.
If ifs and buts were candy and nuts.....
Ha!
Ja, but working for a german bank means that you have to adapt to bad german jokes and german jokes are really bad, like this one...
The Oracle Of The Fivehead has spoken.... As it is written, so shall it be done, in accordance with The Prophecy...
"It is known."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foqUPiwMiOM
Whoops, did I say that out loud ? ...Joe Lasagna
When i rread that I had Samuel l jackaon's voice in my head saying, "you're out of your go-ddammed mind"
Correction!
"you're out of your go-ddammed FUCKING mind"
This guys way to clever for his own good
Is there any difference
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfAeMtcURg0
Does Joe have some inside information on some data rigging?
What a fucking idiot.
Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis have a suggestion for Joe.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LENKIbKCZ_U
They need to replace those people with big cheek bones with guys like him with big foreheads for them luminosity commercials. A head like that screams neuroplasticity.
Also is it me or if you put this guy in some robes with amulet around his neck he'd look like one of them space aliens from a 1950s sci-fi movie.