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Banco Espirito Santo Plunges: Shareholder Meeting Cancelled Due To "Unexpected Facts"

Tyler Durden's picture


With all other operating holdcos having already declared bankruptcy, the anxiety over Banco Espirito Santo is growing (despite DE Shaw and Goldman Sachs recommending investors buy the shares). Despite Bank of Portugal reassurance last night that "BES is able to raise capital), the stock is plunging on news of "unexpected facts" this morning...


Remember, this is systemic (as the Portugues President has warned), and the contagion is potentially global... not "contained."

3 down, 1 to go?


But The Bank of Portugal reassured everyone last night...


But now this...


And the result...




and this could go global...



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Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:48 | 5017318 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition Portuguese facts!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:49 | 5017324 negative rates
negative rates's picture

When in doubt, cancel the meeting.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:49 | 5017331 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



...because our chief weapon is surprise!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:51 | 5017335 CH1
CH1's picture

Unexpected facts!

A phrase for the age!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:52 | 5017339 cifo
cifo's picture

Let it crash and burn!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:59 | 5017374 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture




Meeting Cancelled Due To "Unexpected Facts"


Oh geez I'm laughing my ass off.


Tyler owes me a quarter cup of coffee....and one computer monitor.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:01 | 5017395 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Factually speaking, they're toast.  Let the dominos fall where they may. 

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:12 | 5017448 pods
pods's picture

That's the fact Jack!

h/t Bill Murray

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:16 | 5017467 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

That's absolutely right.  They are toast.

(p.s.- I still wouldn't short it.  Too dangerous.)

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:19 | 5017486 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

This default should be good for another 30 points upside on the S&P.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:30 | 5017529 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Wonder if it's like taking a unexpected shit ?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:37 | 5017576 MarsInScorpio
MarsInScorpio's picture

Goldman says "buy."


You can be absolutely sure they are cleaning out their portfolio by selling everything that even remotely touches this banking group.


Muppets - you've been warned.


Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:56 | 5017682 Juno Rock
Juno Rock's picture

"Unexpected Fact"? 



Tue, 07/29/2014 - 11:06 | 5017742 Vampyroteuthis ...
Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

The family business. Portuguese mafia?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 12:27 | 5018157 Manthong
Manthong's picture

You know, I hate it when unexpected facts like gravity and inertia interfere with my ability to do insane X-Treme stunts or leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 17:46 | 5019711 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Definition of a surprise:   "A fart with a lump in it!"

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:13 | 5017451 Global Hunter
Global Hunter's picture

Unexpected Facts, Shitgums, BTFD, Red Lines...thanks to all these losers ZHers will soon have their very own language bitchez.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:27 | 5017523 pods
pods's picture

And the ever present tongue-punch!


Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:55 | 5017359 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

since when do facts matter?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:59 | 5017377 CH1
CH1's picture

I read in a very old history book that, once upon a time, facts did matter.

Unicorns next?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:08 | 5017423 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Was it written by the brothers Grimm?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:59 | 5017385 Serfs Up
Serfs Up's picture

Indeed!  +10

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:13 | 5017453 game theory
game theory's picture

"When it becomes serious, you have to lie." #unexpectedfacts

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 11:35 | 5017910 pizzedoff
pizzedoff's picture

When they are unexpected, don't you know?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:44 | 5017615 msmith9962
msmith9962's picture

Notice will be given of the new date and time once we find some more better facts.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 17:44 | 5019703 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

-- Guess the pregnancy test came back positive!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:02 | 5017396 desirdavenir
desirdavenir's picture

because our chief weapon is surprise!

surprise and fear !


Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:56 | 5017684 Captain Willard
Captain Willard's picture

There is no surprise here. Banco Espirito Santo has deposits that are approximately 20% of GDP for Portugal. Are the Portuguese authorities and the ECB surprised? Doubtful. This sucker is going down and could take Portugal with it.

But you're correct that the surprise will be the bail-in of feckless depositors, foreign bond holders and the total destruction of equity holders.

The ES family should be behind bars, or at least on their way to exile in Mozambique.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 11:27 | 5017852 SoDamnMad
SoDamnMad's picture

Mozambique is too nice for them.  Angola would be more fitting. Closer to E B O L A  Perfect death for bankers.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:49 | 5017325 Lagging Indicator
Lagging Indicator's picture

Arrgh, you beat me to it!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 11:37 | 5017922 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

Thank you, HH ... Monty Python references have been dropping off at an alarming rate for the past year here on ZeroHedge.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 12:04 | 5018070 junction
junction's picture

No need to worry unless this canceled meeting was an ALL HANDS meeting.  In that case, "hasta la vista, baby!"

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:49 | 5017319 yogibear
yogibear's picture

LOL, thought the PIIGS were fixed? Lies not working out too well.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:58 | 5017376 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Obviously, it's just a liquidity problem. I'm sure the ECB will swap them some in return for all of their shit (regardless of how many times it's been pledged already.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:02 | 5017405 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

I have a garage full of shit I'd like to sell them - save me a garage sale.  It's probably worth more than the paper they're holding about now.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:02 | 5017399 pods
pods's picture

Well shit, if I expected this I am certain someone at the squid was sqeezing this PIIG to get the last drop of blood out of it before they float it down the river.


Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:49 | 5017323 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Ah, so this is what caused gold to just waterfall.  Interestingly, silver did not.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:51 | 5017336 Bosch
Bosch's picture

-.24% is not a waterfall. 

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:52 | 5017347 TabakLover
TabakLover's picture

Silver headed down too.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:50 | 5017326 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

I imagine there's gonna be a lot of "unexpected facts" coming down the pike in the not so distant future.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:50 | 5017327 ghostzapper
ghostzapper's picture

"Bear Stearns is fine" so pop that ipod back in your ears, crank up the Bieber, and park it in front of another Kardashians episode motherfuckers!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:52 | 5017342 yogibear
yogibear's picture

The SEC leader came out and said everything was fine. 

Keep the sheeple in the game until your buddies exit.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:49 | 5017328 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

Bullish, buy the fukk outa tech!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:50 | 5017333 youngman
youngman's picture

unexpected have to love that

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:05 | 5017411 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Yeah, like, "Ah, we're broke - it's a fact we were previously unaware of, so meeting cancelled so we can regroup and find something to erase that fact."

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:50 | 5017334 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:57 | 5017364 Anglo Hondo
Anglo Hondo's picture

OK, which smartass nailed that parrot to its perch?    It's deceased, no more, gone to the big graveyard in Brussels.


Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:29 | 5017530 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

"It is an EX-parrot!"

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 11:10 | 5017767 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

It's just tired and shagged out after a long squawk.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 13:30 | 5018462 detached.amusement
detached.amusement's picture

but they'll still try to sell it to a blind boy

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:51 | 5017340 oddjob
oddjob's picture

Nothing that a few spiderman towels can't fix.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:58 | 5017373 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

I won't deposit all my money in your bank for anything less than a toaster...

sorry dude... hard times, hard negotiations...

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 17:50 | 5019730 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I'd hold out for a Maserati!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:52 | 5017341 Bosch
Bosch's picture

"Unexpected Facts"  That is my favorite reason ever.  



Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:53 | 5017351 youngman
youngman's picture

So why are Gold and Silver tanking again today...???

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:00 | 5017386 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Because it's hot today and there's a chance that it might rain gold and silver bullion coins just like that donut shower we had last week.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:01 | 5017391 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Some moar of those "Unexpected Facts" getting in way.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:18 | 5017482 agent default
agent default's picture

They weren't tanking.  They tanked when the COMEX opened. 

Another unexpected fact.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:54 | 5017353 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Sounds good to me.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:54 | 5017354 crzyhun
crzyhun's picture


Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:07 | 5017418 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Ha - cluster facted!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:55 | 5017355 Kokulakai
Kokulakai's picture

Unexpected facts =

"We can no longer hide the truth."

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:56 | 5017360 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

"unexpected facts"...

Like the fact that they are bankrupt....    again.


Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:06 | 5017419 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

Yes, you can be bankrupter or bankruptest.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:15 | 5017468 mrdenis
mrdenis's picture

Never let Facts get in the way ,especially unexpected ones.........

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:56 | 5017361 Catullus
Catullus's picture

How can this be?! They all passed a rigorous stress test!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:08 | 5017421 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

rigorous is very similar to ridiculous

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 09:59 | 5017372 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

No problem. I'm sure they've hedged their risks already. :)

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:17 | 5017478 unknownknowns
unknownknowns's picture

There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know.
There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know.
But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.

I guess "UNEXPECTED FACTS" could be added to Rumsfelds quote as:
There's also unknown knowns. That is to say, things we deliberetly want you not to know about.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:00 | 5017388 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Sucks when the Expected Lies aren't supported by those pesky facts, eh?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:01 | 5017394 The Most Intere...
The Most Interesting Frog in the World's picture

Get me some popcorn and a 64 oz.  I look forward to watching the bank's newest investors (deposit holders) bang at the front door trying to get "their" currency back.  LOL

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:03 | 5017403 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

64 oz?  Somebody call Bloomberg's healthy-eating police and arrest this unruly bass-turd!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:06 | 5017413 Tasty Sandwich
Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:07 | 5017420 The Most Intere...
The Most Interesting Frog in the World's picture

Actually, Michelle is all in to healthy eating also.  Send her and the two girls over to my place.  Would love to show 'em a good time.  Barrack's always on the golf course they probably lonely.  

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:43 | 5017610 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

"Michelle ...and the two girls"

Ew.  Guess I'll just skip lunch today. 

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:03 | 5017400 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

consumer confidence just printed at 90.9..
no words.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:07 | 5017422 youngman
youngman's picture

Movies are way are music sales...normal retail is not very where is all this must be all the illegals that just crossed the border and now have three hots and a goodies makes one feel fine...

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:03 | 5017402 Kokulakai
Kokulakai's picture

Unexpected Facts, or

Inconvenient Truths?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:03 | 5017406 The Most Intere...
The Most Interesting Frog in the World's picture

They fucking love their government over there.  Free shit army on steroids.  LOL too funny...

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:04 | 5017408 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Unexpected facts?
Do they mean painful truths?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:06 | 5017415 agstacks
agstacks's picture

Weren't facts outlawed (via executive order) some time ago? 

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:09 | 5017427 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Yes, by the Presidential Office of Operative Propaganda (POOP for those who like letter agencies).

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:53 | 5017662 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Outlawed were fact facts.  They still allow "facts".

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:06 | 5017417 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

LMFAO!  Best. Excuse. EVER.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:12 | 5017447 vote_libertaria...
vote_libertarian_party's picture

Well explains the pop higher in stocks.


The 'global banks\derivatives\bond market nuclear implosion' alarm just went to 11.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:17 | 5017476 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

and this could go global...


yellen?  krugman?  comments?



Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:23 | 5017503 Its_the_economy...
Its_the_economy_stupid's picture

"unexpected facts" is political speak for inconvenient leakage of truth

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:24 | 5017511 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

Do they mean, "Facts which were unexpected, came to light"?

Or do they mean, "Facts were not expected to come to light"?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:25 | 5017513 roadhazard
roadhazard's picture

"unexpected facts" = unknown knowns

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:40 | 5017586 gcjohns1971
gcjohns1971's picture

Which means, a thing thought to be known which is actually incorrect?

That would imply honest error.

How quaint!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:52 | 5017664 TheReplacement
TheReplacement's picture

It is more like they know it but just don't know they know it.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:37 | 5017573 smacker
smacker's picture

Yeah but ... only last week someone very high up in Portugal assured depositors that BES was safe and nobody needed to worry. Doubtless his neck size is now being sought.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:40 | 5017591 MarsInScorpio
MarsInScorpio's picture

Obviously, ES does not have a line of credit set up with Janet.


That's the real difference betweeen those who survive, and those who die.


Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:41 | 5017594 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

Take some satisfaction in knowing that the banker(s) who decided to name and operate this usurious, criminal institution after the Holy Spirit has blasphemed in a fashion that will not be forgiven. 

And now, for the earthly justice....

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 11:02 | 5017713 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

and why should different customs and naming conventions be blasphemous?

the bank is called after the founder's family name, for criminy. and this kind of names often originate from babies "found" in front of churches, and getting the church's denomination/saint as family name. in this case a church dedicated to the Holy Spirit

in the same way you would find blasphemous if a Spaniard or Latin-American is called Jesus? or... Mary?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 11:04 | 5017732 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

The Family Name is known but irrelevant to the point made.  You insist that that point escapes you, so it will. 

Also, other blasphemy may be forgiven.  That one will not. 

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 11:20 | 5017797 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

so if I'm called John Tatcher I may found a Tatcher Bank, but if I'm called José Maria Espirito Santo da Silva and I found a bank called Banco Espirito Santo... (in the 1880s in the very religious hyper-catholic Portugal full of priests, monks and nuns, mind you) then I'm a blasphemer? then tell me how it comes that nobody complained, then and there. because blasphemy was, as far I remember, a crime in 19th Portugal

what if I found the Holy Trinity College? is it because it's a bank? originally of the retail and loans-to-farmers kind, the same kind of bank that has been founded by all kind of religious people in the world?

btw, do you really think that a family where a guy is christened "Joseph & Mary" is hell bent on blasphemy? different cultural conventions

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 11:30 | 5017876 Mi Naem
Mi Naem's picture

Drill down into the hows and wherefores all you want in search of distractions and wishfully exculpating cultural rationals. 

Massive criminality has been perpetrated by and on innumerable individuals in His holy name, something which will, explicitly, not be forgiven.  Your willful insistence on missing that easily grasped and irrefutable point is embarrassing. 

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:31 | 5019149 Ludwig Von
Ludwig Von's picture

More cynical than blasphemy, no ?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:42 | 5017599 orez65
orez65's picture

Very "weird" bank name, "Espirito Santo", the "Holy Ghost".

There is a single branch in the US located in Miami FL on Brickell Avenue.

I've driven by it, many times.

Sorry, but the name just sounded so ... weird. Without doing any research, I thought that it was a bank owned by some "reformed" Catholic drug dealers.

Litttle did I know that it was the largest bank in Portugal!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:43 | 5017611 Yancey Ward
Yancey Ward's picture

"Unexpected Facts" also known as "Stuff We Didn't Know to Lie About".

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:47 | 5017640 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

What fool banks there? Keeps money in any bank? Other than just enough to pay bills....

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 10:54 | 5017672 Bahamas
Bahamas's picture

Unexpected farts

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 11:07 | 5017750 asscannon101
asscannon101's picture

Today's meeting has been cancelled due to the truth. Because the LAST thing shareholders need is to be presented with a bunch of FACTS getting them all confused... Thats just crazy talk right there...

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:56 | 5019295 Perfecthedge
Perfecthedge's picture

Bank clerk: "Mister, you have to pay your mortgage like TODAY."

Home owner: "I can't.  I can't come to the Bank today, due to unexpected facts I can't meet my payment.  Sorry.  Have a good day."

How's that for unexpected facts? Fact: I don't have money.  Unexpected: Fuck! I didn't knew that this green stuff is so hard to get by! Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

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