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President Obama To Explain How These New-New Sanctions Will Really Make Putin Mad - Live Feed

Tyler Durden's picture




 

We are sure President Obama must be happy that the European leaders finally stepped in line behind him and layered new goldilocks sanctions on Russia. With business leaders on both sides of the Atlantic urging him not to, for fear of the dreaded 'boomerang' from Putin (which has already been targeted at MSFT, IBM, MCD, INTC, AMD, and car manufacturers), President Obama is set to explain how his new-new sanctions (which include several Russian banks including VTB, Russia's second largest ) and will be the message that Putin needs to leave, fold to NATO, handover everything, and retire to the Gulag. Yet, oddly enough, Gazprom is once again missing from the sanctions list. The whole market is sliding heading into his speech (including the Russian ETF). We await the retaliation.

Treasury announces new sanctions...

  • *LEW SAYS VERY IMPORTANT EUROPE IS TAKING ACTION ON SANCTIONS
  • *LEW: SANCTIONS SEND RUSSIA MESSAGE THAT BEHAVIOR `UNACCEPTABLE'
  • *LEW: WITH SANCTIONS RUSSIA WILL HAVE FLAT OR NEGATIVE GROWTH
  • *U.S. SANCTIONS VTB BANK, BANK OF MOSCOW
  • *U.S. SANCTIONS RUSSIAN AGRICULTURAL BANK
  • *U.S. SANCTIONS UNITED SHIPBUILDING CORPORATION (UKRAINE)

VTB Bank is Russia's largest bank

The sanctions list includes 4 Chinese nationals and 16 Iranian shipping companies.

But don't worry:

  • *LEW: SANCTIONS WILL HAVE MINIMAL IMPACT ON U.S. ECONOMY

Live Feed (Obama due to speak at 1510ET)

 

 

We can't help but sense the Europeans are back-peddling a little...

  • *EU RUSSIA SANCTIONS DON'T COVER SYNDICATED LOANS, OFFICIAL SAYS
  • *EU SANCTIONS COVER LIMITED NO. OF RUSSIAN BANKS, OFFICIAL SAYS

Then there's this...

  • *NEW EU SANCTIONS TO LAST FOR INITIAL PERIOD OF 12 MONTHS

Quickly followed by this...

  • *EU TO ASSESS IMPACT ON EU ECONOMY IN SANCTIONS REVIEW: OFFICIAL
  • *EU TO WEIGH RUSSIA'S BEHAVIOR IN REVIEWING SANCTIONS: OFFICIAL

So if Putin goes crazy with retaliation, we'll fold?

 

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Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:03 | 5018987 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

Someone put this clown out of his misery...and do the world a favor

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:05 | 5018996 power steering
power steering's picture

Obama Sends Putin A Sternly Worded Letter After Russia Violates Landmark Arms Control Treaty… PUTIN giggles !

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:11 | 5019029 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

How dare you deploy Iskanders as an anti anti BM missile , after we spent so much

money deploying the anti BM on your doorstep.

We are so exceptional, we didn't see it coming.

Obozo is giving clowns a bad name.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:14 | 5019042 power steering
power steering's picture

Has he caught that insolent rodeo clown yet?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:27 | 5019122 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

damn...i guess i missed it...what?... there is a 5.5 hour wait....

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:38 | 5019185 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

Could someone explain how Russia shoots at people and gets sanctions but Israel shoots at people and gets aid?

I'm really confused...

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:41 | 5019207 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

On one side is Jack Lew and the other side lacks jew?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:50 | 5019232 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

wait till puuty sines yo pitty on the runny kine........oblahblahma

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y587UlBV9jg

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:27 | 5019449 ilion
ilion's picture

I'm starting to get the feeling that Putin is the only sane president we have in this world.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:56 | 5019542 Canadian Dirtlump
Canadian Dirtlump's picture

In a perverse world you can include him, hassan rouhani and bashar al assad as well as nasrallah.

Oddly the exact list of the people the west call stark raving lunatics.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:49 | 5019250 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

@ JohnnyBreifcase,

Selective Genocide.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:58 | 5019553 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

How is destroying the Russian economy exercising "the diplomatic option"?

I still think we're heading headlong towards a "Pearl Harbor on the steppe" here...but we'll see. "Trains leaving the station. All aboard!"

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 18:00 | 5019765 bonin006
bonin006's picture

re johnnybriefcase

The Russians weren't smart enough to write a book 2000 years ago claiming to be God's chosen people.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:14 | 5019038 espirit
espirit's picture

Putin prolly thinks Obamao is eventually going to run out of other peoples' feet to shoot.

There's alot of hopping mad people round here.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:18 | 5019065 power steering
power steering's picture

Exec who called Africans "banana eaters" still in line for top Italian soccer job

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:24 | 5019094 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Italy foolishly played forward (african) Mario Baltolelli on the Italian team and they lost in the first round.

They could have played 36 year old Luca Toni who is leading the Serie A (Italian League) in goals. Toni has scored 3x the goals that Baltolelli did.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 17:00 | 5019564 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

I KNEW IT! (And to think I had money on that game.)

What was the story again?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:18 | 5019413 NOZZLE
NOZZLE's picture

Stupid WOP, its banana peellers 

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:20 | 5019076 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Putin laughs and turns off the gas.

Gonna be a cold muthafuckin winter me thinks.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:26 | 5019117 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

We are Governed by Children, Psycopaths / Sociopaths, & the Criminally Insane.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:37 | 5019180 power steering
power steering's picture

Chase bank?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 17:04 | 5019570 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Yeah, perrty much.

Easy to laugh at the President but this sure looks like a consensus to me now. Again for the record "why are we blaming the Russian people again?"

Clearly that is not only the diplomacy but the policy now.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:55 | 5019287 HurricaneSeason
HurricaneSeason's picture

Who run Bartertown say.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:25 | 5019112 takeaction
takeaction's picture

Barrack....I know you or one of your cronies like Steve Liesman is reading this....How about you stop playing games, pull your balls out from your skirt and man up.  Shut down the borders, stop messing with countries we have no business being in, handle the IRS missing hard drive bullshit and admit you targeted myself and all other Ron Paul believers, tell us who and why gave stand down orders in Benghazi, Oh...how about banning all people from Africa right now coming into the U.S.  Ebola is nasty.  Then let's start talking about actually working for wellfare rather than sitting on the couch playing playstation.....Hey Barrack...does it even bother you that the food stamp card here in the nrthwest is used to gamble in the casinos with?  Yep.  Cash withdrawels baby.  I could continue...but here is a link (Note:This is an older link, but it continues every day here)  Black Jack anyone...and if you work...Thanks for funding this.

 http://www.king5.com/news/investigators/13-thousand-welfare-recipients-a...

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:35 | 5019167 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

I should junk you for telling the truth.

Free casino $, you fuckin kiddin me?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:51 | 5019254 7.62x54r
7.62x54r's picture

It gets worse.

The EBT cards are also getting used in Colorado weed stores.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:34 | 5019467 crazzziecanuck
crazzziecanuck's picture

I believe this is more an indication of fraud on the part of people inside the SNAP program than actual EBT users.

My mother used to work for the welfare office, and one month they decided to force people to come in to the local office and pick up the cheques. The result, quite a number of unclaimed ones.

Fraud is one of the side benefits for those in charge of running the system.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 17:47 | 5019717 Ginsengbull
Ginsengbull's picture

The missile with no name.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:30 | 5019142 laomei
laomei's picture

came here to post this

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:34 | 5019159 takeaction
takeaction's picture

@ PlusTic   You sir have now just made it onto another list.  HAHAHAHAHAHA

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:59 | 5019318 MASTER OF UNIVERSE
MASTER OF UNIVERSE's picture

By clown you mean O'Bummer, right? Putin ain't no clown IMHO. O'Bummer is certainly acting like a clown when he chooses to poke Putin in the eye repeatedly thinking that the Russian BEAR will not take a swat with their massive paw standing at the ready.

NOTE: I am convinced that Americans have gone completely insane

and desperate to start another war to cover up their GLOBAL EMBARRASSMENT with respect to Wall Street 2008 and the fact that

the United States of America and Corporatism is defunct.

BRICS is the new punkband in town and all the cool cats are tuning in, turning on, and dropping out, USA.

DOWN WITH CORPORATIST/FASCIST USA/CIA

GET OUT OF UKRAINE, USA.

NOTE: Don't forget that I warned you, neighbour.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 17:56 | 5019751 Zabugrom1
Zabugrom1's picture

Wow, ZH isn't the only place where Putin is counted the favoured world leader, as shown below. It's already mainstream. If we are not contrarian how we can profit!  http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/iv-drip/poll-nigel-farages-favourite...

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:04 | 5018991 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"How to destabilize Geo-political relations and start wars" by Barrack Hussein Obama.

Wonder if he'll be wearing the Nobel Peace Prize medal?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:09 | 5019022 SHEEPFUKKER
SHEEPFUKKER's picture

He sure is showing remarkable restraint.

Sincerely yours, 

IDF

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:20 | 5019079 power steering
power steering's picture

If Obama wants impeachment so bad why don't he issue an executive order?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:40 | 5019176 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

The best response is to re-interpret the sanctions:

 

Vladimir Putin:  Because of the sanctions imposed today on Russian banks, substantial numbers of GAZPROM employees cannot be paid and cannot go to work to fulfill their job responsibilities.  Additionally, I am informed that GAZPROM can only accept payment for gas that is made to these specific banks which have been sanctioned. 

Clearly we cannot provide gas that customers refuse to pay for.  This failure to pay their bills is a clear violation of contract terms.  New pricing will be on any new contracts.

 

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:54 | 5019269 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

Flip of a switch And, Viola,

No Natural Gas & Oil to the EU & the Ukraine.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:43 | 5019052 813kml
813kml's picture

 Nightmares for My Father: A Story of Arms Race and Incompetence -- by Barack Hussein Obama [ghostwritten by Zbigniew Kazimierz Brzezinski]

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:06 | 5018999 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

If the Nobel Prize Winner makes a true statement, it will be by mistake.

Obama, who after graduating from college took his first job as an “analyst” for Business International Corporation, which provided intelligence dossiers for US corporations while serving as a front for covert CIA agents, personifies this military-intelligence complex

http://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2014/07/11/pers-j11.html

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:05 | 5019000 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

I assume this is on ZH only for entertainment purposes?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:19 | 5019070 centerline
centerline's picture

Not sure I can differentiate any more.  ha ha.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:05 | 5019001 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

The Sock Puppet that speaks so eloquently.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:07 | 5019356 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Double Secret Probation, FTW!!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:06 | 5019005 pods
pods's picture

God they are such pussies.

Can they just do something and not have to explain everything they are doing everytime they do it?

Fuckin embarassing man.

pods

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:14 | 5019043 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

That's the "open and transparent" part of the administration. Nobody likes to be on teevee more than an narcissist. 

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:39 | 5019485 toady
toady's picture

That's what I always say about sheriff Joe!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:23 | 5019097 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

If you haven't noticed, the explanations are the only true action ongoing.

Remember, you don't sell the steak, you sell the sizzle.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:34 | 5019161 Husk-Erzulie
Husk-Erzulie's picture

Remember, you don't sell the steak, you sell the sizzle.

For some reason this is remarkably funny in the context of this douchemeister.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:43 | 5019210 pods
pods's picture

Shouldn't that be the schnizzle?

For rizzle.

Or is that simply rayyciss?

pods

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:06 | 5019006 czarangelus
czarangelus's picture

The Chinese? What? What the actual fuck, you guys?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:07 | 5019012 HastaLaVista
HastaLaVista's picture

Tyler, just FYI - VTB never was Russia's largest bank. Bank #1 in Russia - Sberbank.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:08 | 5019013 Utah_Get_Me_2
Utah_Get_Me_2's picture

Over/under on this fuckmook being 25 mins late

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:16 | 5019054 Utah_Get_Me_2
Utah_Get_Me_2's picture

Over.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:21 | 5019084 Utah_Get_Me_2
Utah_Get_Me_2's picture

30 mins late.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:33 | 5019154 takeaction
takeaction's picture

LOL  Fuckmook.....Thanks for that

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:08 | 5019017 TheRideNeverEnds
TheRideNeverEnds's picture

Its a good thing the market is inversely correlated with the economy or else it might be in trouble here.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:26 | 5019120 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Obama giving the world corporations more reasons not to buy US spy shit hard ware and software from IBM, Apple, CSCO, MSFT, Oracle and the rest.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:10 | 5019021 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Almost 20 minutes late; why am I not surprised?

It will be a long, expensive, and cold Winter in Western Europe.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:25 | 5019107 813kml
813kml's picture

Marine One was idling next to the green while he 9-putted the last hole.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:26 | 5019119 sixsigma cygnus...
sixsigma cygnusatratus's picture

He must be on an important phone call with Putin...and Putin won't stop laughing at him.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:11 | 5019030 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

I'm rootin' for Pootin'!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:11 | 5019031 p00k1e
p00k1e's picture

Surrender Monkey Boehner will impeachment, or he won't...  Or he might....not....

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:40 | 5019194 takeaction
takeaction's picture

It is very wise for them to keep impeachment off the table.  The Democrat fucks want the GOP to initiate the impeachment crap as a ploy to distract.  Smart move not to impeach.....If Obammy signs an executive order to let millions of illegals become illegal..that could be a great big nail in the coffin for many I hope this November.  I can hope can't I.  If Pelosi and Reid were knocked out this November...I don't know what I would do.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:22 | 5019428 gobsmack
gobsmack's picture

That's why I think the threat of an EO allowing millions is a ruse to goad GOP into impeachment.  If Bathouse actually signed an order like that the Senate is gone for sure and then let's see how much he wants impeachment.  I tried listening to his line of shit today at the barber shop, just can't do it.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:42 | 5019503 p00k1e
p00k1e's picture

You'll need to update your lines.  The latest is....

 

Republicans Have Lost Control of the Impeachment Plot They Hatched

 

The impeachment debate is another example of fringe conservative ideology hurting the establishment's election chances. House Speaker John Boehner knows that, which is why he said Tuesday that impeachment is a "scam" created by Democrats to motivate their base to vote and donate ahead of the midterm elections, according to the Associated Press. That's half true. Democrats are fundraising off impeachment, but this conversation was started by Sarah Palin and her fans.

 

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 17:23 | 5019625 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture

It is all the city of London party, the next batch installed by diebold will read the memo and do as they are told. The tooth fairy is not going to put any money under your pillow and Santa will still come whether you are good or bad.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:12 | 5019033 Taterboy
Taterboy's picture

"I,I,I,I,I,I,I,me,me.me,...Oh, and those European guys too."

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:14 | 5019037 Jano
Jano's picture

bless the God Yankees have this alien from Kenya, Hussein Obanana, in WH.
He will damage the empire from inside.
Unfortunately he cannot be reelected for the third term.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:43 | 5019215 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Unfortunately he cannot be reelected for the third term.

I think it's gonna be very hard to rip this idiot out of office.

he may be our last puhrez for a while.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:36 | 5019474 JohnG
JohnG's picture

 

 

I've thought since before the 2008 elections that he would be our last president.  I hope I'm wrong but I just don't think I am.

Looking at what has happenned since then and what I know of history makes me think we are in for VERY hard times ahead.  I'm ready for it, but I think too many people are not or are blind to this.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 17:24 | 5019632 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture

Andrew Jackson was our last president.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 17:47 | 5019720 Iwanttoknow
Iwanttoknow's picture

I would include JFK.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:14 | 5019040 Taterboy
Taterboy's picture

Statement on Ukraine: "What up with dat?"

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:17 | 5019058 MidwestJester
MidwestJester's picture

At least Obama is setting up a nice cover story for why the US Dollar isn't worth the paper it's printed on anymore....

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:18 | 5019062 JohninMK
JohninMK's picture

I hope he takes questions, which should include 'Why did you allow the Ukrainian Army to fire a salvo of V2 type terror weapons into the rebel area today and how do you think the Russians will react?'

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:23 | 5019098 robochess
robochess's picture

"I have instructed the groundskeeper at the Congressional CC to remove the sandtraps and make the greens more like a funnel into the hole. I don't have time for questions, but I will say that I am quite a guy. Thank you media."

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:02 | 5019340 general ambivalent
general ambivalent's picture

In the news last night there was a report on how tough the golf business is now because millenials can't look up from their smartphones. That's what this is all about, turn the Ukraine into the world's largest golf course.

Buy your stocks now, don't tell anyone I told you.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:19 | 5019068 robochess
robochess's picture

obama wishes the sandtraps on the 17th could be filled in temporarily and is late due to ordering more sand. FUCK HIM.... WHO THE FUCK ADVISES THIS POS?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:26 | 5019069 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  This shit is going to backfire so hard on Zero in about (2) months. The MSM, all of it, is so diluted! There's no such thing as journalism any more. That Pat Buchanan piece yesterday was refreshing. Maybe he should throw his name in the hat for 2016.

  As usual, Zero's pillow fight with Reggie ran overtime, and he's late...

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:59 | 5019312 Freddie
Freddie's picture

How so friend?  The MSM loves Obama and will cover for him til the end. 

Buchanan is a real American.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:50 | 5019527 toady
toady's picture

Buchanan is an isolationist, which is right in my wheelhouse. Can you imagine how much money we'd save if we stopped funding the world? And, with any luck, the rest of the world would kill all humans while our GIs secured our borders.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 17:29 | 5019650 Dublinmick
Dublinmick's picture

http://www.wutang-corp.com/forum/showthread.php?t=102666&page=3

Buchanan was educated at the Jesuit college of Georgtown and is the queen's cousin. Some of them have to appear "conservative" doncha know. When are you going to figure out the deck is stacked? We will leave the light on for you.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:00 | 5019322 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

YC, Do I need to remind you that every candidate who looks like he's gonna win, will get taken aside and given The Speech by TPTB in the Shadow Government?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:25 | 5019080 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Once again zero shows his disdain and lack of respect for the American public time by strolling out whenever he feels like it. But, the libtards still love him even though he is clearly spitting in their face.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:21 | 5019081 Nate Taggart
Nate Taggart's picture

15:20 EDT and still nothing.  What an asshole

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:23 | 5019095 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

And I thought he completed the telepromter reading.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:23 | 5019101 IANAE
IANAE's picture

37 mins to market close...

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:22 | 5019090 HamRove
HamRove's picture

<-----Is he just remarkably stupid?

<-----He's doing this on purpose?

 

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:23 | 5019100 Taterboy
Taterboy's picture

Yes and Yes

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:29 | 5019135 HamRove
HamRove's picture

The first one stipulates that he is ignorant or in denial of the consequences of doing this and thinks he can win

The second, he knows it will come back to crush Europe and eventually the US and that is what he is hoping for.  

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:23 | 5019091 HamRove
HamRove's picture

I think he's just stupid.

 

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:23 | 5019093 The worst trader
The worst trader's picture

This should be interesting for sure! Bullish! BTFATH!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:23 | 5019099 ThisIsBob
ThisIsBob's picture

Those who operate Mr. Obama's strings, emboldened by recent successes in Afganistan, Iraq, Lybia, Syria, have now decided to show the Russian Bear a thing or two.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:23 | 5019102 JohninMK
JohninMK's picture

Now Putin hits the big 6 accountancy firms

It is expected to hit foreign legal entities and individuals registered in such states, banning them from providing audit and consultancy services in Russia.

All six major US audit and consulting companies working in Russia – Deloitte, KPMG, Ernst & Young, PricewaterhouseCoopers, Boston Consulting Group and McKinsey – could be outlawed, according to Evgeny Fedorov, one of the initiators.

http://en.ria.ru/business/20140729/191441092/Russias-Aggressor-State-Bil...

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:58 | 5019305 trader1
trader1's picture

putin: you try to turn my oligarchs against me? nyet!

obama/cameron: yea.  and what ya gonna do about it russkie :-P

putin: clyuscha.  back at ya, brah :-P

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:09 | 5019374 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

I'll bet they didn't account for that.

Now that's Putin your money where you mouth is.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:24 | 5019104 ShrNfr
ShrNfr's picture

I wonder if he is as late for his tee times as he is for these news conferences and statements. Somehow, I think not.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:25 | 5019114 IANAE
IANAE's picture

...oh, you mean TV time is 2:50?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:24 | 5019106 mr.n3utr0n
mr.n3utr0n's picture

Must tank global GDP as soon as possible.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 18:19 | 5019840 scrappy
scrappy's picture

Must tank global GDP as soon as possible.

Time for a courtesy flush. Austin Powers

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:25 | 5019109 Postal
Postal's picture

Neyt!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:25 | 5019110 jay28elle
jay28elle's picture

Got my popcorn, just waiting for the writeup summary (as I do not watch him speak any more)

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:31 | 5019113 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

40mins what a butthole surfer

teleprompter being reprogrammed to double plus good?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:27 | 5019124 Husk-Erzulie
Husk-Erzulie's picture

Please let this be the one where he starts babbling incoherent nonsense and leering at the camera.  Mental breakdown has to be good for at least two news cycles... plus think of the sympathy factor, it could save the mid-terms.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:28 | 5019127 Agent P
Agent P's picture

This guy is on TV more often than Alex Trebeck.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:28 | 5019128 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

Time for Raffeisenbank and SocGen to fold. Time to cut off titanium exports to Boeing. Germany is united because Gorbachev decided to let it reunify when France and UK opposed it. It is going to be a big mess and the Ukrainians are going to plunge Europe into revolution.

I cannot see these cardboard cutouts the US has imposed as 'governments' in Western Europe surviving this........Russia is beaten up and Israel is able to go on and destroy power stations (Geneva Convention) and kill civilians all with US blessing.

The world is watching a chaotic thug bullying and threatening war to get its way......the US is a real rogue state destroying stability throighout the Middle East and intent on Global Dominance

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:28 | 5019132 Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

Must be a problem with the teleprompter.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:29 | 5019136 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

While you wait, please watch this video.  History suppressed.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:29 | 5019139 Super Hans
Super Hans's picture

Did I miss it?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:32 | 5019152 robochess
robochess's picture

if he talks after 4:00 p.m. ET, it won't be good news for the mkt.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:32 | 5019153 olle
olle's picture

So EU´s no 1 Muppet von Rompuy has finally drawn a big red line:

Sanctions not inclute:

Running contracts...thanks UK and France, we can still sell military stuff under contract

Buisness that do more harm to EU than Russia....hmmmm hard to understand,

Equipment for Gas development, only oil equipment is in sanctions....we need your gas

Money.... this a fun one.... is russia not allowed to roll over or renegotiate extisting loans.. or is it only new loans that are under sanctions....

von Rompuy is as clear as he looks.....

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:00 | 5019323 trader1
trader1's picture

you have to hand it to him.  he's doing quite the balancing act.  

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:33 | 5019155 I Write Code
I Write Code's picture

He decided to play another six holes first.

And now live, from the 17th tee, dressed in his best knee shorts and tam o'shanter, from the remote office facilities on golf cart one, heeeeeere's Barry!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:35 | 5019169 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

No, Obama is shaving Michelle's back hair and then having a quicky with Reggie.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:34 | 5019162 laomei
laomei's picture

Every day obama announces new russian sanctions, i go out to a really nice russian restaurant and have a nice meal, followed up with some amazing imported russian ice cream.  Been eating Russian all week long and loving it.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:34 | 5019165 Chuck Knoblauch
Chuck Knoblauch's picture

Sanctions against Russia are going to increase prices in the U.S.

The idiot, the fool is going to do more harm than good.

To all of us.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:36 | 5019168 Nate Taggart
Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:36 | 5019171 Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

Perhaps they are dealing with some unexpected facts.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:39 | 5019191 RacerX
RacerX's picture

It sounds so much better with the sound turned off. Almost watchable.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:42 | 5019193 QQQBall
QQQBall's picture

Russia. Russia. Russia. Russia. Russian-back separatists. Russia. Russia. Russia. Putin. Killing civilians. Russia. Russia. Shooting down aricraft - killing civilians. Russia Putin.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:40 | 5019197 Husk-Erzulie
Husk-Erzulie's picture

Holy shit... he's trying to do it without the prompter!

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:44 | 5019223 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

He was practicing reading utilization thru phonics

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:41 | 5019200 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

wheres the evidence asshole....
fucking lying ass mother fucker...

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:41 | 5019205 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

What an ass.

How about mentioning Ukraine .gov bombing civilian apartment buildings?

Duplicitious lying hack.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:43 | 5019212 Catullus
Catullus's picture

We need to respect Ukrainian sovereignty to murder other Ukrainians who speak Russian because we supported a fascist regime hell-bent on ethnic cleansing.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:22 | 5019434 Ariadne
Ariadne's picture

We need to respect Spanish sovereignty to murder other Americans who don't speak Spanish because we supported a fascist regime hell-bent on ethnic cleansing.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:43 | 5019213 takeaction
takeaction's picture

I can not believe what he is saying.....to threaten Russia is a bad move.  Show me the unfabricated truth.....You can't.  I am listening...and I can't believe this.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:47 | 5019214 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

I can't see any strings, they must be using fishing line, or a temporal lobe implant.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:44 | 5019219 Taterboy
Taterboy's picture

"And I will see to it that no one in Russia gets a free Obamaphone"

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:45 | 5019227 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Baby, let me get what I want on the side, or I cut off your allowance."

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:46 | 5019229 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Who are the 4 Chinese nationals?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:47 | 5019233 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Fuck you zero, you fucking liar. Nobody believe you any longer. Aaaarrrggg......2 1/2 years left of this guy...... please pass the vodka.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:47 | 5019236 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

How much is the IMF funding?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:49 | 5019246 kk1532003
kk1532003's picture

who runs Barter Town???

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:50 | 5019249 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture
Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership (T-TIP)

http://www.ustr.gov/ttip

 

Who is the porch money in the picture?

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:49 | 5019252 Hindenburg...Oh Man
Hindenburg...Oh Man's picture

3...2...1..  cue BTFD! Hope you all didn't blink and miss the dip (to be fucking bought).

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:50 | 5019255 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

And he's gone..

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:51 | 5019257 A82EBA
A82EBA's picture

Russian stocks up during last 6 min of speech

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:51 | 5019258 Itchy and Scratchy
Itchy and Scratchy's picture

'Change You Can Believe In'

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:52 | 5019262 Circle of DNA
Circle of DNA's picture

I wonder if "de-dollarization" will hailed as anti-Semitic by the Zio-Nazies of the wall street.  

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:52 | 5019263 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

PolitiZoid - Hot Air Express
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V94KrcFhow4 (1:39)

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:52 | 5019264 short screwed
short screwed's picture

what a douche...what a douche

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:54 | 5019279 Utah_Get_Me_2
Utah_Get_Me_2's picture

It's astonishing how concerned he about the integrity of the borders and the sovereignty of Ukraine.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:55 | 5019281 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

Where is that BUK when you need one.

 

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:56 | 5019285 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Such a despicable human being this fuckstick is. Please go meet a liberian doctor

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:56 | 5019292 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

WTF - Working Hard?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPePQ5znCf0 (0:43)

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:56 | 5019293 general ambivalent
general ambivalent's picture

Putin is a Chemical Anatoly. Putin is the cause of insider trading. Putin is slowing market openness. Putin is the cause of global warming. Putin is the cause of cancer.

 

Therefore, we must ratchet up the high-frequency sanctions until they are forced to defend themselves - which, uh, as we all know, is competely unacceptable in the peaceful world union of Total Information Socialism.

Thank you.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:57 | 5019297 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Jon Hard-for-the-left-Wood on CNBC saying these sanctions are to punish Russia "for downing MH17".

Michelle Carruso-Cabrera also blaming it on Russia arming the seperatists.

Journalism is dead; long live the new propaganda!

"America!  Fuck yeah!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGQaH3-LK54

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 16:04 | 5019349 Hippocratic Oaf
Hippocratic Oaf's picture

Does MCC have a j-o-b without those huge tits? And the ability to fit in sending her to any, uh-um, brown cuntry?

Said it befo, I'll say it again.........she's a pitching wedge: looks good from 125 yards.

Tue, 07/29/2014 - 15:58 | 5019302 mr.n3utr0n
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