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21 Ways To End The Phrase "Americans Are So Broke..."

Tyler Durden's picture


Submitted by Michael Snyder of The Economic Collapse blog,

Did you know that 77 million Americans have unpaid debts that are "in collections" and that Congress is actually thinking about letting post offices offer payday loans?  We live in a country where almost everyone is drowning in debt and where most people are either flat broke or very close to flat broke.  Years ago, "your Mama is so broke" jokes were all the rage, and at the rate we are going they could make a big comeback.  Some of my favorites were "your Mama is so broke she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway" and "your Mama is so broke your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk".  Unfortunately, the facts that I am about to share with you are not funny at all.  In fact, they are quite sobering.  Yes, things are going fairly well for the elitists that live in the good areas of New York City, Washington D.C. and San Francisco right now, but most of the country is deeply struggling as our economic fundamentals continue to crumble.

Please share these numbers with as many people as you can, because we need people to understand that there has not been an "economic recovery" for most of America.  In fact, in many ways things just continue to get even worse.  The following are 21 ways to end the phrase "Americans are so broke"...

1. Americans are so broke that about a third of them have debt collectors on their heels.  One recent study discovered that more than one out of every three adults in the United States has an unpaid debt that is "in collections".  That is a total of 77 million people.  In other words, the debt collection business in America is absolutely booming.

2. Americans are so broke that Congress is now actually considering allowing post offices to provide payday loans and check cashing services.

3. Americans are so broke that they are keeping their vehicles longer than ever.  The average age of vehicles on America’s roads recently set a new all-time high of 11.4 years.

4. Americans are so broke that car dealers are having to go to extreme lengths to get new customers.  Last year, one out of every four auto loans in the United States was made to someone with subprime credit.

5. Americans are so broke that 52 percent of them cannot even afford the homes that they are living in right now.

6. Americans are so broke that they are falling farther behind on their student loans than ever.  The total amount of student loan debt in the U.S. has now reached a whopping 1.2 trillion dollars, and approximately seven million Americans are in default on their student loans at this point.

7. Young Americans are so broke that half of all college graduates are still relying on their parents financially when they are two years out of school.

8. Young Americans are so broke that only 36 percent of American adults under the age of 35 currently own a home.  That is the lowest level that has ever been recorded.

9. Americans are so broke that many of them can't even afford to shop at Wal-Mart and dollar stores anymore...

Discount stores are slowly dying.


Yesterday, Dollar Tree announced it would buy Family Dollar, a chain that is in the process of closing hundreds of stores and firing workers.


Other discount stores have been struggling as well, writes Heidi Moore at The Guardian. Fashion discounter Loehmann's filed for bankruptcy, while Wal-Mart's sales have declined for the past five quarters.


"There’s just not enough money deployed by American families to keep all the discount chains in business," Moore writes.

10. Americans are so broke that they are running up record levels of debt.  Overall, U.S. households are 11.68 trillion dollars in debt right now.

11. Americans are so broke that the wealth of the "typical American household" has fallen by 36 percent over the past decade.

12. Americans are so broke that one out of every four part-time workers in America is living below the poverty line.

13. Americans are so broke that more than 37 million Americans are now being served by food pantries and soup kitchens.

14. Americans are so broke that there are 49 million Americans that are dealing with food insecurity.

15. Americans are so broke that the number of people on food stamps has increased by about 14 million while Obama has been in the White House.  Ten years ago, the number of women in the U.S. that had jobs outnumbered the number of women in the U.S. on food stamps by more than a 2 to 1 margin.  But now the number of women in the U.S. on food stamps actually exceeds the number of women that have jobs.

16. Americans are so broke that the U.S. government has had to spend an astounding 3.7 trillion dollars on welfare programs over the past five years.

17. Americans are so broke that more than 20 percent of all children in the U.S. are living in poverty.

18. Americans are so broke that we have a record number of kids sleeping in the streets.  In fact, we have more than a million public school children that are homeless at this point.

19. Americans are so broke that 76 percent of all Americans are living paycheck to paycheck.

20. Americans are so broke that 26 percent of Americans have absolutely no emergency savings whatsoever.

21. Americans are so broke that approximately two-thirds of all Americans do not have enough money saved up to cover six months of expenses if an emergency arose.

If things are this bad now, during the so-called "economic recovery", how bad will things get during the next major economic downturn?

Unfortunately, most Americans have been lulled into a false sense of security.  The financial crisis of 2008 seems like ancient history to most of them now, and most people appear to believe that our leaders have "fixed" whatever was wrong the last time.

Of course that is not the case at all.  In fact, our long-term problems have just continued to grow since then.

The truth is that what we are experiencing right now is about as good as things are going to get for the U.S. economy.  When the next crisis arrives, all of the numbers in the list above are going to rapidly get a lot worse.

So enjoy the rest of this "bubble" while you still can.  It certainly will not last for too much longer.


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Thu, 07/31/2014 - 15:55 | 5028964 CaptainSpaulding
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Thu, 07/31/2014 - 15:57 | 5028979 gh0atrider
gh0atrider's picture

Americans are so broke because they are the slowest Bitcoin adopters.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 15:59 | 5028987 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Americans are so poor that we have to get second mortgages on our cardboard boxes.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 15:59 | 5028995 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

or third mortgages on our trailer homes.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:02 | 5029009 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

or fourth mortgages on our dog houses. Poor Fido thought he would finally have his own space, instead of sharing it with his human companions, LOL.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:03 | 5029020 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Americans are so broke they have to threaten Russia to distract the sheeple from their own shitty, pathetic lives.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:24 | 5029202 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

Americans are so broke they listen to douschbag Canadians like foneystar about shitcoin.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:32 | 5029248 Rentier88
Rentier88's picture

Who's broke?  Zero debt here...

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:51 | 5029365 Aaaarghh
Aaaarghh's picture

Americans are so broke, but the bastards are still richer than us brits! ;)

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:10 | 5029435 COSMOS
COSMOS's picture

Americans are so broke the number of dual citizen passport applications is skyrocketing

Americans are so broke the megayachts have the engines on idle and stocked for a years worth of supplies and diesel.

Americans are so broke they are tripling the military aid to Israel

They are so broke they cant afford the medical insurance, and car insurance, and homeowner's insurance, and life insurance, well basically we cant afford paying money to worthless insurance.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:27 | 5029532 negative rates
negative rates's picture

They keep their cars longer but 99% of todays cars driven daily are brand new looking.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:27 | 5029782 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

Americans are so broke they actually believe in hope and change.


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 19:01 | 5029942 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Americans are so broke that they are living in hope for change.


BTW, don't knock payday loans ... it's a very high margin business.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 19:24 | 5030036 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

Americans are so fat ..... oh wrong thread.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 19:47 | 5030135 Bad Attitude
Bad Attitude's picture

Americans are so broke they can afford to invite millions of unskilled illiterate illegal aliens into the country to further strain our social and welfare systems.

Forward (over the cliff)!

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:46 | 5029599 Dugald
Dugald's picture

Americans are so broke, but the bastards are still richer than us brits!

Never mind just lay back and think of that famous polly who told you....YOU have never had it so good


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 19:02 | 5029945 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Well, at least those of you who have pensions have pensions that are inflation indexed.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 21:30 | 5030710 max2205
max2205's picture

So broke they suck govt dick

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:34 | 5029259 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

Douche bag Canadians +1

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:45 | 5029326 Lore
Lore's picture

Fonestar can't be Canuck. He's an obnoxious jerk. Canadians are polite.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:36 | 5029558 neidermeyer
neidermeyer's picture

Lore , I once worked phone support for a printer company ... a solid 50% of my inbound calls were Canucks trying to scam "free" replacement ink out of us...

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 02:57 | 5031526 Lore
Lore's picture

Interesting. As a troubleshooter, I would want to know who told them to call and work from there to find the source of the abuse. Competitors?

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:56 | 5029299 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

fonestar's mama so broke she live in his basement. dah dump dump!

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:08 | 5029063 crazzziecanuck
crazzziecanuck's picture

21 examples of how it's Putin's fault...

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:58 | 5029396 Aaaarghh
Aaaarghh's picture

via youtube and other trusted sources

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:02 | 5029016 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Americans used to have front door mats that said "welcome". Now they say "welfare".

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:27 | 5029210 cowdiddly
cowdiddly's picture

Americzan's are so broke their backs are against the wall. Now the bank wants to foreclose on the wall.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:30 | 5029232 Mike Ochisbent
Mike Ochisbent's picture

Americans are so broke that Family Dollar has started a layaway program.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:53 | 5029374 Lost My Shorts
Lost My Shorts's picture

Americans are so broke, rents in Seattle have collapsed to all time lows, and property managers practically kiss your feet if you have money to pay.  What?  No?? Damn, who didn't get the memo.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:07 | 5029050 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

If your business depends on the continuing 'prosperity' of the middle class, good luck to you.

If you tailor to oligarchs and rich criminals, boy are you in luck!

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:46 | 5029330 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

This list is pretty sobering but in reality the implementation of ObamaKare and the addition of 30 million third world diseased peasants with an average 5th grade education should have us right as rain in no time.

Say, I wonder if that black professional player of sports is still apologizing for his latest 'mistake?'

Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets...

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:55 | 5029388 cossack55
cossack55's picture

"A hard rains gonna fall"

               Bob Dylan (the 1974 Bangladesh rendition is the best, IMHO)

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:02 | 5029665 Me.Grimlock
Me.Grimlock's picture

+1 for Taxi Driver reference.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:03 | 5029675 TeethVillage88s
TeethVillage88s's picture

Did you get your Obama Guide Book?

He explains a couple things about third world people.

I can't find the book right now, but:

- We will change a little in the USA as our cultural make-up changes
- In the Third World you have Shanty Towns, Favelas, and Squatters
- Sometimes laws are changed to support the Squatter's rights if you leave your property un-attended, or vacant regardless of if it was just a lot, home, or apartment.
- And then after you have squatter's rights, the Property Title Search becomes unclear.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 15:59 | 5028988 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Americans are so broke that they cannot afford a fence on the Mexican border to keep out the illegals.... oops I forgot that Obama wants to destroy the social cohesion of the US to introduce the USSA.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:21 | 5029173 Croesus
Croesus's picture

Americans are so broke that they're like John Wayne's toilet paper - rough, tough, and won't take FRN's (shit) off-of anyone. 

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 19:04 | 5029948 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

Americans are so broke, they have to import cheap south- and central-American labourers to build the wall to keep the cheap labour from the south out.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:44 | 5029320 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

Americans are so broke that they've fired Pedro and are doing their own gardening and landscaping.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:49 | 5029351 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

Americans are so broke Israel only got a tripling of aid instead of the customary sextuple.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:23 | 5029371 Lore
Lore's picture

Nope. Lardasses can't be bothered to do yardwork anymore.  It's to save the planet, don'tcha know.

Eco-Tyranny: How the Left's Green Agenda Will Destroy America

I have been inside quite a few homes as part of my work, and submit that a lot of people would be better off in a zoo. It is truly disgusting, how many seem to lack basic life skills even for going to the bathroom and cleaning themselves, much less taking care of their yards. Wild animals do a better job of cleaning around their nests and dens. The market for stack-em-and-pack-em yard-free apartments will continue to benefit from the increasing uselessness and laziness of the American lardass.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:40 | 5029569 zuuma
zuuma's picture

True Dat, Lore. A lot of people would be better off in:





Poor Farms


All these things ridiculed by Dickens a 170 years ago as abominations. And yet... So many people who live on free shit would actually have better, healthier lives in those institutions.

Imagine the re-introduction of the "Treadmill" from jolly old England, circa 1825.

put the useless, stupid, able-bodied, sexually overactive youth who otherwise cannot assimilate on a big treadmill. Hook it up to a generator so at least we get some value from them.

Instead of just converting air into CO2 and free food into shit, they would be doing that PLUS producing electrical power for the grid. All voluntary, of course.

(if you don't work, you dont eat)

Make the food KFC  & put ups creens of the Kardashians for their comfort.


Our ancestors were onto something.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 02:55 | 5031494 Lore
Lore's picture

That's warped. You're reading Glenn Beck's book? I'm not statist. I regard decency as a lifestyle choice in keeping with the Golden Rule. A better world comes from treating yourself and others better, trying hard to understand different views, and taking power away from psychopaths.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 19:33 | 5030078 Cliff Claven Cheers
Cliff Claven Cheers's picture

If you wipe your bum with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean ... You may be a Muslim.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 15:59 | 5028994 Four chan
Four chan's picture

Americans are so broke because they trade their lives for worthless debt aka fed bux.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:02 | 5028999 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

back to back awful opening posts... doesn't happen to often here on the Hedge.  

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:05 | 5029029 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Who does that "first" crap anymore? So juvenile!!!

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:08 | 5029055 gh0atrider
gh0atrider's picture


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:25 | 5029206 Quus Ant
Quus Ant's picture

C'mon.  We're posting under the headline "Americans are so broke...."

The tone was set.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:55 | 5029385 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Americans are so broke that the currency which they spend is just someone else's debt.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:57 | 5029922 SILVERGEDDON

Fuck the Shitcoin. 

Americans are so poor, they have to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.  

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 21:02 | 5030562 mt paul
mt paul's picture

amerika is so broke

Israel is send them foreign aid ..

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:06 | 5029046 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

Yeah but we have a weeping cheeto for a speaker of the people's house. So we got that going for us

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 19:41 | 5030110 espirit
espirit's picture

"weeping cheeto"

That is some serious humor there, lol.

Chester the molester with Boehner.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:19 | 5029158 EBT excepted
EBT excepted's picture

thank you Mr. Spaulding, we know you...we've played with your balls...

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 15:56 | 5028967 pods
pods's picture

Amerikans are soo broke they can't pay attention.


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 15:58 | 5028981 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:01 | 5029000 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

So broke that I wrestled a squirrel the other day for his peanut. I lost.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:01 | 5029003 SumTing Wong
SumTing Wong's picture

Americans are so broke they elected an unkown because he promised them a whole bunch of free shit.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:05 | 5029034 JRobby
JRobby's picture

What was the middle thing again?

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 19:50 | 5030146 Jendrzejczyk
Jendrzejczyk's picture

If you like country music at all, listen to Sturgill.

That line is @ 30 seconds in.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 00:25 | 5031283 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

> like country music



Thu, 07/31/2014 - 15:56 | 5028972 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Arrest Loyd Blankfein.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:01 | 5029008 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

or we could just hang the little fucker?

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:05 | 5029036 JRobby
JRobby's picture

Pike 'Em. Pike 'Em all

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:54 | 5029378 grekko
grekko's picture

Cement a stripped down Blythe Master's hands and feet in a cement block with her arse sticking in the air, then drop off that cement block in the middle of Harlem at midnight.  In the morning we can ask her about lessons learned.  We can do the same with her ex-boss Jamie on Polk St. in San Fran.


Yeeeeeeee Hah!  Come and get it!

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 15:56 | 5028975 kowalli
kowalli's picture

Americans are so broke that America is a Nazis state

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:00 | 5028992 Q-Q-Q
Q-Q-Q's picture

Americans are so broke...........because they consider themselves far richer than they are.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 15:59 | 5028997 BanjoDoug
BanjoDoug's picture

I'm so broke I can't even pay attention ......

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:06 | 5029048 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Which is why Twitter and Pop Up Ads are all the rage.  

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:12 | 5029090 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Doug MacLeod says hi

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:00 | 5028998 pazmaker
pazmaker's picture

Americans are so broke that they can't afford to go on a diet, therefore most are obese.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:01 | 5029002 pods
pods's picture

Amerikans are so broke that anyone not ordering off the value menu is a high rolla.


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:01 | 5029007 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

It's 'broken'. Not 'broke'.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:06 | 5029043 pods
pods's picture

I'm pretty sure it was BROKEback Mountain. Or was it BAREback Mountain?

Definitely not Brokenback mountain though.


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:35 | 5029264 wallstreetapost...
wallstreetaposteriori's picture

it was bareback barry

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:03 | 5029021 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

Americans are so broke that a fucking 515 credit score will get you an $500K mortgage...

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:09 | 5029027 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Here Michael, My  list is better:


1) I'm so broke I can't afford to pay attention!

2) I'm so broke, I go to KFC and lick other peoples fingers.

3) I'm so broke that I just went into McDonald's and put a small fry on layaway.

4) We were so broke, that at Christmas, all we could exchange was glances

5) I don’t have enough cents to finish this sentence…

6) Both the Democratic and Republican Parties removed me from their donor mailing lists.

7) That I e-mailed the Obama Administration asking them if they could spare some change I can believe in.

8) I'm so broke, the bank asked for their calendar back.

9) I'd do 21, but I'm so broke that I can't afford the copy and paste.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:05 | 5029031 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

3. Americans are so broke that they are keeping their vehicles longer than ever. 

Horseshit. I am keeping my car longer than ever because (1) buying a new car is a waste of fucking money, (2) my 12 year old truck with 200k miles runs like it's new, (3) I refuse to buy anything and voluntarily pay more (sales) tax to this fucking monster govt that is hell bent on oppressing me and robbing natural rights and liberties, and (4) I refuse to buy and feed an economy full of fucking losers who vote for assholes in this fucking monster govt that are hellbent on oppression.


I can buy an above average car new well over 100 times tomorrow, cash, but like fuck if I am going to.


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:07 | 5029056 JRobby
JRobby's picture

Sounds good, what's your address?

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:15 | 5029128 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

The NSA already knows, I'm sure.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:09 | 5029080 Berspankme
Berspankme's picture

I am in same position. I have plenty of money but I have refused to feed the fucking beast any longer. I buy nothing but essentials and earn as little as possible. Fuck You .gov

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:54 | 5029638 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

This is the way.  Pay attention young ones.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 23:44 | 5031184 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Same here. 14 year old car running fine and fuck if I am going to feed the beast, including the insurance beast...

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 21:03 | 5030563 morty_schatzberg
morty_schatzberg's picture


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:50 | 5029354 q99x2
q99x2's picture

My 1992 Toyota Corolla is going to outlast me.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:04 | 5029033 butters
butters's picture

I would be willing to employ some of them girls for the Butters Kissing company.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:06 | 5029039 auntiesocial
auntiesocial's picture

I am so broke that I have to pawn my keyboard. so this is my last post.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:06 | 5029047 stinkhammer
stinkhammer's picture

we are so broke we obviously can't pay attention

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:07 | 5029054 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture

American's are so broke they're still buying GM cars.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:49 | 5029315 hidingfromhelis
hidingfromhelis's picture

GM is so broke, the government is making American tax payers buy their cars.


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 21:15 | 5030631 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:09 | 5029072 what's that smell
what's that smell's picture

....masturbation, spam, top ramen, hedonic adjustments, rat meat, cannibalism, starvation, typhoid mary.....

.that shit's broke!

fagony: fake agony (i so broke my bugatti don't got no hip hop).

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:16 | 5029137 pods
pods's picture

Damn, at first I thought you were describing me?

But I don't do hedonic adjustments.  Everything is straightup.

If you dont believe me, just email me at


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:46 | 5029331 grekko
grekko's picture

I heard that if you cut off 2", there'd be a hole an inch deep!

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:54 | 5029376 pods
pods's picture

Been talkin to the missus eh?

She says that to keep all the other ladies away.


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:09 | 5029076 Minge
Minge's picture

@m3r1c@ns @r3 s0 br0k3, th3y c@n’t 3v3n b{_}y @ v0w3l.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:12 | 5029101 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

So broke they can't pay attention.  I consider myself rich beyond measure and very lucky!

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:13 | 5029103 SethDealer
SethDealer's picture

Im so broke I got married just for the rice

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:13 | 5029112 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Americans are so broke, they're actually losing weight!

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:22 | 5029184 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture

Sorry, don't see any signs of that happening. If anything it's the opposite.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:04 | 5029420 Tall Tom
Tall Tom's picture

Europeans are so fucking broke that they use American's debt, US Dollars, to capitalize their insolvent banks because it is the World's Reserve Currency.


The stupidity of Eurotrash never ceases to amaze me.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:14 | 5029114 SethDealer
SethDealer's picture

breaking Top Ramin in half


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:15 | 5029118 Keltner Channel Surf
Keltner Channel Surf's picture

They’re so broke that . . . they all own 11” cell phones that can do the laundry, play chess against Spassky in his prime and illuminate 3 city blocks at 8 billion lumens.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:27 | 5029212 RichardENixon
RichardENixon's picture

But that's usually all they own. Since these devices seem to have them hypnotized, however, they don't complain much.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:41 | 5029290 Keltner Channel Surf
Keltner Channel Surf's picture

If your cousin Richard M. had one of those wondrous devices, he could have erased all the tapes, not just 18 1/2 minutes.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:44 | 5029318 grekko
grekko's picture

If they sold their cell phones, they still couldn't afford to pay their student loans.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:15 | 5029124 bid the soldier...
bid the soldiers shoot's picture

American teens are so broke they stopped sniffing glue, so they can use it to mend things.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:16 | 5029138 armageddon addahere
armageddon addahere's picture

Wonder if the age of America's car fleet has anything to do with DESTROYING thousands of late model used cars in the Cash For Clunkers program?

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:20 | 5029163 financialrealist
financialrealist's picture

"Unfortunately, most Americans have been lulled into a false sense of security."  I see this alot. I think many more people realize whats going on, more than ZH's gives credit for...but the problem is...Americans are broke, and there isn't a fuckin' thing they can do about it. 

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:25 | 5029199 froze25
froze25's picture

Americans are so broke they create gmail accounts just so they can eat the spam

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:52 | 5029367 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

I'm going to move to a desert island and eat the sand which is there.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:28 | 5029213 Super Hans
Super Hans's picture

No shit, I've lost over 25lbs over the past year due to not eating!

"I'm so broke I can't afford a can of spam!"

Oh fuck it!  I give up!


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:31 | 5029239 L3G4CY
L3G4CY's picture

Guys, come live in Canada!! Here the air is pure and there is tons of space available!!

We'll rebuild a new america 2.0 :-)

For a new era!!!!!


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:43 | 5029305 grekko
grekko's picture

I'd be happy to move to Canada, but first you have to get rid of your central bank, or the same thing will happen there.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:17 | 5029487 Jackagain
Jackagain's picture

Sounds great, but can you do something about the weather?

(Cue up South Park episode)

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:05 | 5029683 Ariadne
Ariadne's picture

Thanks, Barry is looking for some lebensraum for a few million fairies.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:32 | 5029247 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture

True story. Went to the store yesterday and the woman in fornt of me at checkout (obese black lady) had three items; loaf of bread, gal bottle of wine, and a package of sleep aid pills. Payment method; EBT card. Woman behind me (obese Hispanic woman) 2 boxes of crackers, 2 of the large cans of BUD and EBT card in hand ready to pay. My wife and I had a good laugh about it, not necessarily because of what they were buying (see that all the time), but because we were trying to figure out exactly why the black lady needed the sleep aids. Pretty sure after guzzling down a gallon of wine sleep would come pretty easy.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:54 | 5029380 besnook
besnook's picture

alchohol and drugs are not allowed to be bought with an ebt card so you are full of shit. that is not to say a lot of ebt cardholders don't budget well but it can be told with the truth.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:10 | 5029440 crazybob369
crazybob369's picture

Point wasn't about paying for the alcohol with EBT card (she used cash for that, although there are plenty of places that don't give a shit about what you buy with the cards), it was about the seeming ridiculousness of purchasing sleep aids with a giant bottle of wine, and the crap that people are buying with the little money they have.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:14 | 5029477 all-priced-in
all-priced-in's picture

Many states issue an  EBT card that can be used to pay for anything. Just like a debit card.

It is a way many get their unemployment "compensation" or general welfare payments.

Food stamps / SNAP card has restrictions - general electronic benefits cards maybe not.







Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:58 | 5029652 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

I am sure you can buy Tide with EBT, and then get 70% of the Tide's value in cash (from a meth dealer).

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:28 | 5029534 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

I have seen people buying cigs, wine...all sorts of shit with an EBT "debit card" fuck yourself - fool.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:57 | 5029394 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

Sleep aid pills for her 7 children.  cheaper than feeding them.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:32 | 5029253 mastersnark
mastersnark's picture

Pffft...what part of 4% GDP growth don't you understand? We are fine.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:36 | 5029269 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

After I finish this 20pk my dick's gona be broke.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:39 | 5029284 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

Obongo's fundamental transformation of the USA... people can't even afford their Bath House membership fees or their welfare payments to illegals...

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:42 | 5029300 givenoquarter
givenoquarter's picture

Easy credit and a fucked up sense of what "success" is has ruined an entire generation's understanding of what hard work and striving to fulfill your potential is all about.  

Unike those I passed on my own way to the "top", I have ZERO concerns about the young whippersnappers threatening my career. I own my own business, but you get the idea...

When you see mouth-breathing peasants that can barely form a coherent sentence putting themselves in debt for sweet rims, cars, houses, and a new phone/ipad/weave every year or two, you KNOW that a little social and economic Darwinism needs to take place.

The herd needs a good culling. We have artificially extended the life of this country and those that refuse to take responsibility for their own selves and allowed them to dilute the lives of those that actually DO THINGS.

Our collective future is a virginity that has been prison-raped from us by the powers that be.

One pleasant side effect of a massive drop in quality of life: It is hard to cry for baby seals, the climate, diversity and fuck-all else when you are just trying to eat and keep a roof over your head. Maybe we will see a decline in diverity-related political-correctness grab-assery.  





Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:15 | 5029480 29.5 hours
29.5 hours's picture



"When you see mouth-breathing peasants that can barely form a coherent sentence putting themselves in debt for sweet rims, cars, houses, and a new phone/ipad/weave every year or two, you KNOW that a little social and economic Darwinism needs to take place."

No, it does not happen like that. When things really fall apart, the people you refer to will be hired at good pay by the rich and influential to keep people like you and me from getting out of line.



Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:15 | 5029732 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

I take it you are not part of the herd - with which tribe of cattle do you self-associate ??

If you don't mind my asking.

Dipshit eliteist

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 21:35 | 5030737 givenoquarter
givenoquarter's picture

I am a part of the "I built that' tribe. 

You, obviously, are a part of Obama's "We built that" tribe.

Don't worry, I still have not quite figured out how to avoid paying my "fair share" completely, you can still enjoy the free ride for awhile. Tax attorney is getting close though, I expect to be in the very low teen effective tax rate in time for your 2015 handout bill to come due me in April. 













Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:43 | 5029303 maxamus
maxamus's picture

Such a shame all those people had guns to their head to force them to buy new cars, overpriced homes, $600 cell phones, eat out all the time, multiple vacations each year, .....

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:51 | 5029361 besnook
besnook's picture

you are a self righteous asshole, aren't you?

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:43 | 5029306 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Failed NGO planning once again. Learn the process to look important. At the end of the day, dancing to bullets fears them the most.

World-Systems Theory


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:44 | 5029309 ronron
ronron's picture

broke is when the blow jobs are free. the new warm meal. were months away from that. relax.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:47 | 5029329 Elliptico
Elliptico's picture

That reailty TV looks like opera.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:47 | 5029334 Duffy
Duffy's picture

they are so broke, they will eagerly pass through the gates of the Hope Camps, because "work shall make you free!"


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:48 | 5029343 givenoquarter
givenoquarter's picture

"Arbeit Macht Frei"

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:47 | 5029336 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

We so broke can't eat iPads but eating wood pulp.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:52 | 5029369 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Don’t forget, Blythe Masters stated that you can’t eat gold/silver. USD fiat is cotton based nutrition to eat.


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:18 | 5029493 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

me want gold and silver, fuck fiat and Ms. Maters

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:47 | 5029340 Conax
Conax's picture

Retirees are so broke they spend their golden years at the Golden Arches asking, "you want fries with that?"

The truly unfortunate stand at a door saying, "Welcome to walmart".

If I want a jaccuzzi I have to fart in the tub.

The Huge Manatee!

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:52 | 5029363 El Gordo
El Gordo's picture

Free Jon Corzine.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:52 | 5029372 Dead Man Walking
Dead Man Walking's picture broke it's not a joke anylonger.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:55 | 5029382 El Gordo
El Gordo's picture

I'm so broke I ate my dog.

                              B. Obama

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:19 | 5029498 all-priced-in
all-priced-in's picture

More like --


I am so broke I ate some pussy.



Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:56 | 5029383 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Unlike the greedy inbred oligarchs that are trying to conquer a world not worth conquering, with our newly earned free time,. we are studying and applying our cultural achievements M'Fers.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:55 | 5029387 Dead Man Walking
Dead Man Walking's picture broke, we're watching our kids live in poverty. crying for them for what they lost out on, and dying a little each day.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:58 | 5029397 bertone
bertone's picture

Americans are so broke they have to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:07 | 5029694 Minge
Minge's picture

I found it especially ironic, as I went to the clip of jerking a dog off, that the lead-in ad was for "Sign and Drive...  0% Down, 0% Interest."

Cat food, you say...

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