Tesla's Non-GAAP Quarter In Three Gigacharts (Added Free Option: GAAP Charts)

Tyler Durden's picture


Yes, yes, we know: soon everyone will be driving a Tesla, and, perhaps, sooner Tesla will build its much-hyped, and so critical for its business model Gigafactory (although shouldn't it be non-GIGA to go with non-GAAP... about which it had this to say: "In June, we broke ground just outside Reno, Nevada on a site that could potentially be the location for the Gigafactory. Consistent with our strategy to identify and break ground on multiple sites, we continue to evaluate other locations in Arizona, California, New Mexico and Texas."). In the meantime, and just as the biggest wealth effect-creating (for the 0.1%) stock market of all time appears to be ending, here is Tesla's quarter, and last few years, in three gigacharts.

Revenue: GAAP vs non-GAAP.

EPS: GAAP vs non-GAAP.

And most importantly, Free Cash Flow. There is only one type of these. And at this cash burn rate, Morgan Stanley will have to upgrade TSLA soon for another convertible offering.

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Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:48 | 5029328 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Sorry off topic because I couldn't give two shits about tesla motors.

Just goes to show what a traitor the weeping cheeto is: http://dailycaller.com/2014/07/31/dead-gop-bill-tried-to-sneak-immigrati...

Looks like Obama has "Demoncratic bitch" tattoo'd on John Boner's ass.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:51 | 5029357 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Irrelevant, the only thing worse than the employment participation rate in 'merica now is the political participation rate.

Look for many communities to start taking matters into their own hands shortly.

Interesting times.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:56 | 5029386 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

'Murikans are too slow and stupid any longer to take matters into their own hands, I'm convinced.

Sadly the Chinese proverb wasn't a blessing, but a curse.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:09 | 5029451 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Wait for it, necessity can be a great motivator.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:12 | 5029466 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

I've been waiting nearly 6 years.  I'm tired of waiting, can't we just get this shitshow on the road so we can get it over with and move on to better times?

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:18 | 5029495 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Please, the SNAP cards still work, there has been no necessity yet.  As a point of reference we are experiencing slightly more trespassers in the orchards.  Rarely are the police called.  We have other ways of encouraging these folks not to steal from us.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:58 | 5029398 power steering
power steering's picture

Gopro.................................................HHAHAHAHaahahahahahahahahahahhaah hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahh hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahh hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahh hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahh hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahh hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahh

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:02 | 5029413 aVileRat
aVileRat's picture

Camera on a stick, made by a stoner surfer, for stoner technical traders who pretend to be Series/CFA portfolio managers.

Day would only get more fun if I had an evil cat to stroke. The cat must be evil.


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:46 | 5029596 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

very good discription.

also, the sharks must a frickin laser beams attached to their frikin heads. mutated sea bass will not do, no matter how ill tempered they are...

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:50 | 5029613 Freddie
Freddie's picture

LOL!  How about an evil cat on a stick?

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:03 | 5029419 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Funny.  At least Tesla has a product!

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:05 | 5029427 bitterwolf
bitterwolf's picture

Hubris, a la ponzi captured on camera,ladies and gentlemen, I give you GPRO

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:17 | 5029485 joemayo
joemayo's picture

Remeber Pure Digital's Flip, the $200 HD submersible (with optional case) digital video camera?


"We share the same vision about how video can change the world," Ned Hooper, senior vice president of Cisco's Corporate Development and Consumer Groups, said in a phone interview. "The power of what Pure Digital has done with the Flip Video product is that they have integrated software and the Internet experience into the product in such a way that it allows people to share, publish and easily get access to video. And that really fits with Cisco's vision of visual networking."

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:03 | 5029414 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

if I want an electric car, I'll buy a golf cart.


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:05 | 5029432 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

That'll be 30...no wait...FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 20:02 | 5030218 Boing_Snap
Boing_Snap's picture

Nice announcement with the Giga Factory agreement with Panasonic. Panasonic is pitching the Telecom industry now with the Lithium Ion packs, had them in the other month for replacing UPS batteries, some serious reductions in weight and size make a ton of sense. Certianly the multiple discharges that these batteries can take makes for a whole different approach to Data Centers, from AC based to DC.

Home battery plants that can be kept outside the home in the NA climate mean you can set up a system in the garage that charges the car, and powers the home, with any many of green techs tied to charging them.


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:48 | 5029335 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Musk's headed to Mars with his Bernanke bucks. Zuckerberg: he looks the jumping type to me.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:48 | 5029339 starman
starman's picture

I don't see the earnings chart for 2023? Did you forget it? 

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:52 | 5029621 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

there isn't a 2023 for Tesla

with their pitiful sales there shouldn't have been a 2013 or 2012 either

Tesla RIP ...soon we hope!

Sat, 08/02/2014 - 08:38 | 5037120 redpill
redpill's picture

Pitiful sales?  Every car they build is already sold months before it is built!

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:48 | 5029342 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

My god, it is a "teflon stock" after all...

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:51 | 5029618 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Tribe member stock

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:53 | 5029629 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

soon "TIMBER" stock

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:50 | 5029344 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

I heard Tesla is coming out with a new  Gigamobile followed by the Gaapmobile...they might sell as well as the Gagamobile and the Gogomobile.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:05 | 5029682 Redneck Hippy
Redneck Hippy's picture

Gopromoblile? Goslowmobile? Gocart?

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:52 | 5029366 Rainman
Rainman's picture

Musk needs to dig moar deeper holes. There's a lot of money waiting to get shit down them.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:54 | 5029377 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Everytime I hear someone use the term "Gigafactory", I want to kick them in the balls.

Fri, 08/01/2014 - 07:21 | 5031798 PT
PT's picture

"Giga" suggests that they are going to build 1000 000 000 of something.  For some reason I simply don't believe it.  But it has certainly taken my mind from the way that hard drive manufacturers abuse numbers.  In fact it will make hard drive manufacturers seem accurate.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 16:55 | 5029384 Nue
Nue's picture

I'd call TESLA the new tulip Bulb. But TESLA has something the Dutch traders of the 16th century didn't have. A goverment willing to bail them out.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:39 | 5029559 JuliaS
JuliaS's picture

Great metaphor!

Imagine if the Fed existed during the tulip bubble. Imagine Hank Paulson pulling out his imaginary bazooka and threatenind the collapse of world trade if tulip-holders aren't made whole. Imagine the central bank printing $85bn a month to levitate the price of tulips. Imagine the stock market trading nothing but tulips, pensions being denominated in tulips. Tulip derivatives. Real tulips vs. paper tulips. Fractional tulip lending. Shadow tulip trade. HFT (T for tulips).

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:49 | 5029611 Greenskeeper_Carl
Greenskeeper_Carl's picture

i just wanna know when the unicorn fart backed securities will become available.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:52 | 5029626 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Tulip bulbs had a lot more value than most of those mortgage backed securities.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:04 | 5029411 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Fire up a hybrid GAAP accounting schedule. Kaboom

Edit: Ask Worldcom and Enron how that all worked out..

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:06 | 5029428 ThroxxOfVron
ThroxxOfVron's picture


Tesla Motors' relationship to the tax code kinda reminds me of The Scooter Store's relationship to Medicaid.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:27 | 5029531 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Awesome comparison!  Pure legalized theft of the taxpayer's money brought to you by CONgress.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:09 | 5029452 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Going to need that gigafactory to replace all the battery  warranty returns .

No wonder they don't want GAAP accounts.

Snake oil at its finest , just as well Musk is a dual national, and he has a bolt hole .

Fleecing goyim isn't a crime there, so no extradition.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:21 | 5029508 Rob Jones
Rob Jones's picture

Tesla revenues are "on fire". "Exploding" upwards.

Earnings: not so much.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:28 | 5029536 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

May Tesla crash and burn.  Oh wait, they already do!

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:42 | 5029579 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

Soon everyone who still drives will be driving a Tesla or some other luxury electric vehicle.

That's probably pretty accurate.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:56 | 5029648 Zero Govt
Zero Govt's picture

Tesla is only an example of how long you can keep BS going 

the crappy cars are pretty irrelevant in this enterprising shitshow

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 17:49 | 5029610 Hindenburg...Oh Man
Hindenburg...Oh Man's picture

I love me some NON-GAAP income statements. Always the best. 

Annoying, isn't it, that we don't have NON-GAAP free cash flow?

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:05 | 5029678 Super Hans
Super Hans's picture

This is a rabbit hole dead end!   Why is this company still in the news?

I give the fuck up! 


Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:06 | 5029685 BlindMonkey
BlindMonkey's picture

Nobody has yet mentioned an interesting point of the article. They are breaking ground at MULTIPLE sites and will choose one? They are obviously waiting to see who is going to give them the sweetest deal. Fascist/Corporatist at its worst.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:28 | 5029789 Bennie Noakes
Bennie Noakes's picture

They were supposedly going to start construction on a site in Albuquerque, NM in 2007. But that never happened. Still shopping, I guess.

They probably want a local government to give them the land and loan or pay for factory construction with the promise of jobs.

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 19:14 | 5029985 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Just like Solyndra, awaiting for a DOE taxpayer loan. Once failure ensues, Plea the fifth.  

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:26 | 5029778 Darksky
Darksky's picture

Not enough hours in the day to up arrow everyone.  Good job to all  

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:43 | 5029866 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  I der herd New Yawk has da no taxes fer 10 years plan for der non-GAAP flaming plastic go carts especial.

  Da PayPal king of da plastik car industry should bild da factory in da Manhatten with Cuomo handing out Obunga care coupons.


 Ad Campaign Selling State to Businesses Is Criticized - NYTimes.com

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 19:59 | 5030196 IronForge
IronForge's picture

That (NY State - upstate north of Westchester)'s where Mr. Musk is planning on a Solar Panel Farm.

It would be interesting to see how those Panels work in Winter, when his Car-be-que Batteries don't last for very long. 

His Car Failed the NYC-Boston Run in Mid-Winter.  With the damning NYT Article mentioning how the Battery Capacity Warnings falling short in cold weather, I don't think the Public will stand to see Model S' littering the Freeway Shoulders - occasionally buring ablaze and causing traffic congestions. 

Strangely enough, his supporters (especially his Taiwanese / Hispanic) seemed to have a knack at staling and profiling my interests (with help from Scientologists and Buddhists in Los Angeles).  A good portion of his Opensourced Loop consolidated Projects previously developed (yes, that's why he "open sourced" it, since people can claim prior art).

Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:51 | 5029899 Saucy-Jack
Saucy-Jack's picture







Thu, 07/31/2014 - 18:59 | 5029936 patb
patb's picture

Earnings are an opinion, cash is a reality.

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