Obama: "We Tortured Some Folks"

Tyler Durden's picture

One day after what otherwise would be an epic scandal (in any other administration) when it was revealed that not only did the CIA indeed spy on the Senate, but had lied when it denied doing so (something for which it subsequently apologized, the spying that is, not the lying) Obama had to field a question about just this topic during one of his daily populist press conferences in which as usual he took credit for anything that is seasonally-adjusted right with the economy (not much) and blamed all that is wrong on the republicans. This is what he said.

"In the immediate aftermath of 9/11, we did some things that were wrong. We did a whole lot of things that were right, but we tortured some folks. We did things that were contrary to our values."

So... is "droning folks" not contrary to "our" values?  As for the question at hand, from Politico:

“I have full confidence in John Brennan,” Obama said of the CIA chief who served as Obama’s top White House counterterrorism adviser during his first term.


The president noted Brennan’s apology and said “some very poor judgment was shown” by the CIA personnel who pried into the Senate files in what CIA officials have described as an attempt to investigate a possible security breach.


While Brennan was dismissive in his public comments about the episode when it was disclosed earlier this year, the president said Brennan had moved to get to the bottom of the incident. “Keep in mind: John Brennan called for that IG report,” Obama said.


During his first campaign for the White House, Obama often blasted the Bush administration for its interrogation tactics, which he called both “torture” and “deplorable.” Soon after taking office, Obama signed an executive order banning many of the controversial techniques.


However, the president has seemed less enthusiastic about exposing the details of the CIA program or holding people accountable for the tactics he has denounced as torture.


In 2009, he briefly entertained and then dismissed Sen. Patrick Leahy’s idea for a bipartisan commission to examine the interrogation practices.

In light of all these new revelations, we encourage readers to immediately cease and decist their cynicism, and "choose hope", as per the torture-condoning president's recent diktat to the masses, as otherwise the likelihood of joining the ranks of "folks" tortured and/or droned approaches unity.

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0b1knob's picture


LetThemEatRand's picture

In case there was any question, we are "folks."

Obummer's picture

Folks, we cannot lie; we tortured some folks.

knukles's picture

We're all one big complicit socialist folks now.
Let's all cry together.
And a handful of benzodiazopines for all us good folks and we'll fell better when we come to.....

Let's all sing Kumbayah and then Happy Happy Joy Joy for the recessional

MsCreant's picture

If he allows himself to be publicly waterboarded, one session for every "folk" tortured, apology accepted! He is after all a benevolent King.

Manthong's picture

If you’are going to make a totalitarian fascist omelet, you gotta’ break some legs.

NemoDeNovo's picture

It really is a lala land fantasy world now ain't it?  I mean just when I think this shit can't get any more surreal....it does.

gh0atrider's picture

gh0atrider loves it when Obama gets all folksy, trying to level with the average 'merican before stuffing Michael's mangina.

Bananamerican's picture

"We 'elected' some fucks"

Son of Loki's picture

"If you want to keep your torture, you can keep your torture."

Tall Tom's picture

It is more accurate if the jerk said, "We torture some folks and we just seem to keep on torturing them."


"Sorry that it is you folks that we keep on torturing."

runswithscissors's picture

"Don't fight it, son. Confess quickly. If you hold out too long, you could jeopardize your credit rating."

SofaPapa's picture

+1 for great Brazil reference!  A way underappreciated portrayal of the world these morons have created.

Roll Tide's picture

Exactly, next he will make arrangements for importing the Ebola virus to the US.  Who would believe that?  Impossible.  It might kill all the "folks".

Roll Tide's picture

Exactly, next he will make arrangements for importing the Ebola virus to the US.  Who would believe that?  Impossible.  It might kill all the "folks".

StandardDeviant's picture

Surreal indeed.  "[F]ull confidence in John Brenner"?!  Why is this liar not in the cell next to Clapper's?

stant's picture

Fuk that get out and spend comrade consumer. Borrow if you have to , to save the empire!

mccvilb's picture

EHHHH, that's all, folks! 

0b1knob's picture

Constant reference to folks (in German volks) and homeland (Homeland Security) have always had a very Third Reich vib to them.

knukles's picture

No fucking shit.  And everybody has to wear a lapel pin.... Everybody has to fly a flag.... On Independence Day, we don't celebrate freedom, we celebrate the military victories and fallen troops  (BTW, nobody died at the signing of the Declaration in Philadelphia on July 4, 17776... just an FYI for perspective)  Marches, parades.... military plane flyovers of sporting events....  the list is endless


The Alarmist's picture

First of all, you don't torture "folks."  Second, aren't "we" supposed to be better than they?

knukles's picture

Oh damn it, that's right.
We tortured terrorists, not folks.
And we are not just better then them. 

We're exceptional.

Gettin' sloppy, barry

McMolotov's picture

"We obviously didn't torture enough folks, otherwise 9/11 never would have happened. Now pass me those pliers and a blowtorch." —Dick Fucking Cheney

toady's picture

Knuckles & McMolotov beat me to it. Both of my thoughts on the subject are already presented.

Son of Loki's picture

If we're all so "exceptional" why do so many Merikans feel like Broke Down Donkeys?

StormShadow's picture

Cause we're in the House of Mirrors. The idea that every American can own a house, each family member have a car, go on vacations, spend all day on Amazon buying shit they don't need...need I go on?...is nothing but a lie to get you to take out loans in pursuit of the American Dream. NO society that has ever existed, nor any society in the future, can ever provide that utopia. Period.

He's right, they did torture some folks, and folks is all of us. We folks have been tortured for years by a system whose sole design is to continually tighten our handcuffs, be they financial, social, whatever...once one discovers this and ways to work outside that system a euphoric feeling takes over and that, my friends, is freedom regaining its footing in your life.

Urban Redneck's picture

Barack Obama does not use the word "We"

It's always "I" or "Me"

so in this case-

Barack Obama: I tortured some folks.

Dixie Rect's picture

WE are tortured every time his wife is on TeeVee or her photo is shown

The Alarmist's picture

BTW, did she get the part in the next film, or did it go once again to Peter Mayhew?

J J Pettigrew's picture

"the chimps are riding the ponies"...C. Heston

HardAssets's picture

During the night of the election returns in 2008, I was in a pub that specializes in German beers on tap. It is in a liberal/progressive neighborhood. The elections were on the big screen t.v.s and many of the patrons were cheering loudly. I left with a very bad feeling. It felt like Germany in 1933.

Thought Processor's picture



Yep, and the 'enemy' is you 'folks' out there.


So now at what point does Terrorist = Freedom Fighter?

knukles's picture

Depends on which side writes the history book

NemoDeNovo's picture

HIStory is written by the victors, guess we will have to wait and see....

Quus Ant's picture

"We tortured some folks."

"folks" gives them a humanity I don't think you intended, mr. prezident.

Paging banzai... this was tailored for you.  Shit.  I can just see Oba saying it too- with his shoulder shrug and "what, me worry?" soccermom approved stage act.

What a psychopath. 

MsCreant's picture

Yeah, but "What difference does it make?"

knukles's picture

      sociopathic meanderings 

Milton Waddams's picture

Yup. A norman rockwell photochop knockoff with some "folks" being water-boarded would be apropos.

OldPhart's picture

To use a quote our politicians were throwing around: "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter".

Xanadu_doo's picture

So now at what point does Terrorist = Freedom Fighter?


- any day now, I think...



(long pitchforks, bitchez)

Skateboarder's picture

You can't spell we without tyranny.

knukles's picture

Oh Jesus... I thought you said without "tranny"

Skateboarder's picture

In skateboarding, halfpipes / bowls / pools / vert is called 'transition,' or "tranny" for short.

You good at tranny, dawg? ;-)

knukles's picture

Ah hem..... ummmm... I was ... uh ... thinking more of the moochelle tranny rumor kind of tranny.... secenforcementdivision tranny....

junction's picture

If you voted for him, you are responsible for Obama giving the green light to torturing prisoners held by the CIA.  You are also responsible for the deaths of those Navy SEALs who died in the August 6, 2011 Chinook helicopter crash in Afghanistan after the NSA found out about messages claiming the raid on Osama bin Ladin's compound killed Osama's double.  Kill 15 Navy SEALs by planting a remote controlled explosive device in the helicopter to get the one SEAL who knew too much.   

Thought Processor's picture



The statement above assumes that the voting system is not rigged.   And a wild assumption that would be.

bilejones's picture

We're supposed to be sorry for the murderous morons who carry out the regimes crimes?