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'Glitch' Halts All ATM & Online Operations For World's 2nd Largest Bank

Tyler Durden's picture




 

China Construction Bank, China's (and the world's) 2nd largest of the Big Four, and intimately connected to the CCFD ponzis, has suspended all ATM, online, and mobile banking operations - without warning - due to a "system issue."

 

Via CCB's site:

 

As Bloomberg reports,

China Construction Bank (Asia) suspends ATM, online banking, mobile banking and Jetco services due to “system issue,” co. says.

 

ATM services not available today until further notice, co. says in e-mailed statement

 

Online, mobile and Jetco services suspended at 10 p.m. today until further notice: statement

*  *  *

Nothing to see here, move along...

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Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:06 | 5040592 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

<---Glitch means out of money

<---Who cares fucking collapse already

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:10 | 5040608 JohninMK
JohninMK's picture

Please be patient, we are printing plenty more.

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:14 | 5040617 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

aahhhh...the ole 'glitch' ... kinda like , 'sorry, i misspoke' , or 'sorry for that tweet, my twitter account got hacked' , or 'unfortunately my hard drives crashed'  . . . . . sigh

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:15 | 5040629 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

a glitch? why surely that could never happen!
that's why shitcoin is safe! glitches NEVER HAPPEN!

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:19 | 5040652 whotookmyalias
whotookmyalias's picture

Hey, it's all good. Nothing to see here. Move along. Get back to your twitter, Facebook, Kardashians, and generally narcissistic behavior.  

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:22 | 5040668 Taku
Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:38 | 5040727 jarana
jarana's picture

he, he... good story.

Hide your money Somewhere Better, Colleague...

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:53 | 5040776 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

This is what Microsoft does to you when you raid their offices and refuse to purchase Windows 8 from them.

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 15:58 | 5041222 dryam
dryam's picture

It's called a test.

Mon, 08/04/2014 - 01:07 | 5042697 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Glitch Halts?

I read Galt's Gulch.

Thu, 08/14/2014 - 12:09 | 5092639 CPL
CPL's picture

No, in IT it's called staging.  Beta is long since done.  Production is getting pushed now as the primary client has agreed to migration. 

The users have already had the opportunity for input to service desk and their regional IT managers.  If they did not prepare for the cut over since 2007, then it's their problem now.  We're not here to fix stupid, just restore the system to functional and working so everyone can use it instead of the current situation.  Too many users with admin privileges on the infrastructure. 

If anyone gets in your way, permission to pull their privileges from the system is given.  They can sit on the bench and wait with everyone else.  Allow them to keep web by controlled proxy filter and mail, nothing else.  The toys, all of them, are getting taken back by IT because the place is a mess after running headless and clueless for too long.

Any requests to the system can be put into the service desk and and reviewed with the SDLC or regional functional CAB groups for dependency analysis to fit into the established baseline infrastructure under the following conditions:

  • If it actually makes sense in purpose that everyone can use it,
  • It's not duplication of effort by another group (otherwise go talk to them and help them),
  • The change is a REAL service improvement and not paper tiger bullshit.

This will be forklifted into place and that's that.

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:20 | 5040654 InjectTheVenom
InjectTheVenom's picture

GOT GOLD ?

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:28 | 5040687 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

Glitch is kinda like "Unexpected Facts".

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:39 | 5040729 rogerramjet
rogerramjet's picture

And you use pencils without erasers, you arrogant fucking jackass!

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:18 | 5040642 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Nothing to worry about. The Big One will occur on a Friday. Or maybe not?!??! Run for the hills!!!

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:55 | 5040785 Hugh G Rection
Hugh G Rection's picture

A bobcat still works on any ATM worldwide...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCPFwoECsXo

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 21:20 | 5042250 NumNutt
NumNutt's picture

"AH CWAP!!! wheel fall off bus!"

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:17 | 5040643 barre-de-rire
barre-de-rire's picture

just updating core system to make a simpler total shutdown one button

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:55 | 5040782 CPL
CPL's picture

May the cache be there when we need it, and flushed when it is full.  Fear not, ASCII a question and recieve an ANSI.  For it is said that an ACK in turn is given a SYN by the 7 layers of OSI.  Let us file share by IRCC with xmodem resume with the extra bit given in 7n2 with the direct console connection given.  We ask for no paraelle when a serial connection is only needed to the great router.  It takes and gives with a ping reply.  And temporary files live on in our hearts. 

Fnord.

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 14:04 | 5040816 JohninMK
JohninMK's picture

An old school programmer by any chance, asked the ymodem man?

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 14:28 | 5040873 CPL
CPL's picture

I have been an engineer/techie/chief cook/bottle washer/jack of trades for a long time. 

My last gig I was let go for 'technical competence', pointed out the flaws in the presented infrastructure and the undocumented dependencies plus gave solutions to correct the gaps.  Therefore I got fired for knowing my business and their business.  Last I heard the place is an accident prone nightmare now, like all the luck got sucked out of the place.

Right now however; I am gloriously underemployed just like everyone else in the people's paradise our 'leaders' proclaim.  My idle hands however are never idle for long.  Paid or unpaid, an Engineer always finds something to tinker with that needs fixing or new tools required for future projects. 

 

Mon, 08/04/2014 - 01:07 | 5042692 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

"When you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing; when you see that money is flowing to those who deal not in goods, but in favors; when you see that men get rich more easily by graft than by work, and your laws no longer protect you against them, but protect them against you, you may know that your society is doomed." - Ayn Rand

I am updating my skillset to more traditional methods of production. IT is being overrun by the unproductive fascist food that dealing with government graft requires.

Anyone have any experience with goats? Perhaps Alpacas?

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:30 | 5040696 junction
junction's picture

We have gone from checks "bouncing" to big banks "bouncing."  Does this mean that Chinese expatriates will no longer have access to the millions in their private accounts that are needed to buy co-ops in Manhattan, as Chinese authorities clamp capital export controls in the China Construction Bank's software?  If that is the case, the Donald is doomed.

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 15:52 | 5041196 MH17FLIGHT
MH17FLIGHT's picture

My last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can't believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do... http://goo.gl/bhiamE

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 16:51 | 5041403 Bollixed
Bollixed's picture

Nuke the SPAMMER^^^^

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 15:54 | 5041207 MH17FLIGHT
MH17FLIGHT's picture

thats great

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 17:08 | 5041445 goldflows
goldflows's picture

Now this is not good.

If China pops...

Just remember that no one could have predicted it...

yeah right

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:06 | 5040594 kill switch
kill switch's picture

Beta test!!

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:07 | 5040597 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Notice of suspension because the money is gone
Sorry for the inconvenience and have a nice day.

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:09 | 5040601 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

System issue huh? Reboot that shit!

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:09 | 5040603 joego1
joego1's picture

We are working on our system for making your money into our money.

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:10 | 5040607 Theta_Burn
Theta_Burn's picture

Issuing credit cards to evil Russian billionaires will get you suxnetted

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:39 | 5040724 boattrash
boattrash's picture

BINGO Theta! Wife's computer just F'd up. Had to load a WINDOWS Patch, mid-day Sunday. Spook Hackers working this weekend, and so are ITs to prevent collateral damage. (Yep, I wear my 10 Gal Tin Foil Hat on Sunday). China should not do "End-Around" of sanctions by providing Credit Cards to Russia it seems.

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:10 | 5040610 The Duke of New...
The Duke of New York A No.1's picture

The Bank employees are too busy buying masks to protect against the Ebola outbreak.

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:10 | 5040611 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Risk off again.

This is like watching tennis with supersonic balls.

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:14 | 5040625 KingdomKum
KingdomKum's picture

so . . .  bank holiday on Monday  . . . 

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:15 | 5040636 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

I love holidays.  New reason to sell cards and boxes of candy I really dont need.

That kind of holiday right?

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:16 | 5040634 Eyeroller
Eyeroller's picture

SKYNET HAS BECOME AWARE!

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:41 | 5040736 smacker
smacker's picture

Where's John Connor when you need him?

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:20 | 5040659 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

Dead pigs jammed the system. Will flush with contaminated milk powder, then dry. Rub some expired meat on the gears, and, presto! Good as new. 

Your money will be slightly greasy but will smell meaty!

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:21 | 5040660 Amish Hacker
Amish Hacker's picture

Aaaaannnd it's gone.

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:23 | 5040661 trader1
trader1's picture

context:

 


China Construction Bank (CCB) is a big beast. It is the country's second largest bank, valued at over $200bn (£118bn) with profits of close to $5bn (£2.95bn) a quarter. It accounts for more than 12% of all loans and deposits in China and is a major investor in property developments.

It is feeling its way into Western markets and has just been named as the first Chinese bank designated for offshore renminbi trading in London - a shot in the arm for the City's aspirations to be the major centre outside Hong Kong for dealing in the currency. That opens up new trading opportunities for UK and Chinese firms as deals can now be settled in London in local currency.

http://www.bbc.com/news/business-27913698

 

The cost of propping up China’s banks in the event of a financial crisis have nearly quadrupled in the past three years to $526.2 billion, the largest of any banking system, according to the latest analysis by the Volatility Laboratory at New York University’s Stern School of Business .

...

It may come as no surprise that China’s biggest banks top the list of the riskiest to the system — the bigger the come, the harder they fall and the more money it would take to prop them back up. Bank of China tops the chart, followed by the Agricultural Bank of China, China Construction Bank and the Industrial & Commercial Bank of China.

V-Lab’s figures don’t suggest the likelihood of a crisis, however, just the risk one poses to a country’s financial system. As a percentage of its GDP, moreover, the cost to keep China’s banking sector afloat seems less onerous. On this ranking, China places 10th behind a group led by France, the United Kingdom and Japan.

That has led a number of economists to conclude that China can easily mop up any financial crisis, using central government funds to bail out both banks and heavily indebted local governments and prevent the kind of balance-sheet recession from which the U.S. and EU are still trying to recover.

But the IMF and World Bank have both warned that China needs to rein in lending and promote reform or face an increasing risk that it may have to test that hypothesis.

http://blogs.wsj.com/economics/2014/07/29/chinas-banks-pose-worlds-large...

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 14:07 | 5040808 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Interesting post. Since we borrow from China, how does that effect United States of America? 

Serious question. No sarcasm tag. Please elaborate your thoughts. Thanks. 

PS: I'm no longer a reader of Wall Street Urinal. Provide a solid source. 

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 14:40 | 5040924 trader1
trader1's picture

you're asking the wrong question.

the question you should be asking: was ccb victim of a cyber attack?

if yes, then who was behind it and why?  what's the message being sent?

if no, then ccb's cto/cio might want to start "pursuing opportunities outside the company" and/or the application/infrastructure team(s) responsible for this particular business process.

 

PS.

what sources are 100% solid?

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:26 | 5040681 screw face
screw face's picture

.....#GAZA ....bitchez

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:32 | 5040705 VWAndy
VWAndy's picture

This is one of the ways the banking scum can control exactly who it falls on. When they crash it. They will also halt trading for regular folks. HFT will take care of the rest.

 We are only gonna get one chance to pull the plug and we better do it before they do. Because they are going to pull the plug on us without effecting thier power. The only way to be sure is for us to pull all the plugs and make it all stop.

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 14:12 | 5040844 JohninMK
JohninMK's picture

Very true Andy. Get a small stash of emergency cash at home. Use it but keep it topped up.

Mon, 08/04/2014 - 00:08 | 5042609 steelrules
steelrules's picture

I keep $10,000 is .999 silver right next to my AR and my Glock.

Edit to add. cash will be as toilet paper PM's and barter will be the only money.

Sun, 08/03/2014 - 13:54 | 5040781 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

New credit cards are being uploaded into the system. Please forgive our maintenance down time. 

/ sarc 

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