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Kermit's in need of some wheels
Blankfein's a pro at new deals
Kermit is easy
Blankfein is sleazy
From muppets he usually steals
The Limerick King
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kermit is a sock puppet filled with channel stuffing
Banco Espirito Santo bailed out by Blankfein's Vulture fund
the "Holy Spirit Bank" has gone bankrupt...
Argentina resolved by default on the vulture funds.
yes, this socio-pathonomic experiment is working just fine....
Cure: 5000mg L-lysine, 10,000mg ionic silver dioxide, 2000mg vitamin C and 2gm resveritrol in an inert carrier- four times daily as needed.
i am flat-out exhausted, ZHealots. but i wanted to take the time to post tonight/morning; such that all could again sleep soundly and in sweet docility return to your regularly scheduled republifag & democunt programming. i found the cure for ebola earlier today; and in all modesty, i'm rather proud of my efforts. it wasn't easy and more than a few feelings were tramped underfoot in the process, but i saw the whole thing through; saved the world; impregnated a hot lil grad-school lab assistant; and am already a leading candidate for the nobel -- stockholm, here i come!
knowing that you're all more interested in the story than the actual cure, i won't waste your time with the specifics of an historic medical breakthrough; rather, janus will train your attention on the narrative that yielded it.
i was napping when the big-boys came rapping, rapping at my chamber door. rubbing the sleep from my eyes, i cursed the cursed bastards, "pray, who darest roust janus from his well-deserved slumbers? what impertinent ass would bang so rudely?" badges were displayed, and then a question put forth, "janus, you've no doubt heard about the ebola...EBV as we've taken to calling it -- sounds less threatening; doncha think? -- anyway, america needs you, the world needs you...so get dressed and put your game face on."
janus responds, "do i have time to shower?" his answer, "no, but, make it snappy, we've got the SST burning on the tarmac...dr. strangelove is already in atlanta; and you know how he hates to wait." janus, "boy, do i!"
gentlemen, i didn't even bother to brush my teeth. i just soaped the skin and hair, rinsed, dried, ate my wheaties, dressed in something sensible and appropriate for lab-work, knelt and huddled with the boys for the recitation of The Lord's Prayer, and then we were off.
SSTs are so goddam fast i only had time for 3 cocktails before we touched down at robbins AFB...and angelica is one of the best stewardesses in all the world -- take my word for it.
janus busts into the lab like a force of nature...everywhere i look it's a bunch of sad-sack egg-heads starin at the tops of their shoes, thinkin the cure for ebolas just gonna sprout up outta the floor. i walk over to two of them, take what little husk of hair remains from each, and then knock their skulls together, like bangin together two coconuts.
i peeked into some microscopes; flipped through a file or two; gave them all a steely glare, even arching a skeptical eyebrow at one or two of them, and then demanded that someone make an explanation for this sorry state of affairs.
then this nerd has the temerity to ask "just who do you think you are?" then i crank it up to eleven, "this is who i am, bitch...i am janus!" taking the long glass beaker from his hands, i whip it around and crash the thing on his pointed dome. it was quite the spectacle; doubtless it'll be whispered about at epidemiological conferences for decades.
in any event, i'd succeeded in attracting their undivided attention. i then gave one of the finest and most rousing pep-talks of all time...it went a lil something like this:
"alright, poindexters, time to man-up...it's fuckin go-time, zero-hour and all that shit. i want you assholes to take a look around you. what do you see? losers, one and all, every single one of you a sorry sack of shit. this whole room's dumber than a bag of fuckin hammers. and you call yourselves scientists?!?! you wanna know what i saw when i took a look around? apathy, stupidity, listlessness...a failure to appreciate what we're up against...dereliction under every glass coverlet. pathetic!"
but i didn't stop there...
"you should all hang your heads in shame. the people need you and all you wanna do is make fart-jokes and search for porn. it's unacceptable. well, queefs, i am pleased to inform you that there's a new sherriff in town, his name is janus, and he will happily wreck your world."
i then removed my belt, and in an effort to demonstrate my passion for all things ebola, i whipped the dog-shit outta the 'scientist' who happened to be standing closest to me. poor fella...poor, POOR fella.
resuming my diatribe, i continued "now, are there any questions?...(pause pregnant with menace)...didn't think so. wait, i think i see a hand in the back..."
how bold! janus was already impressed...and then the crowd of scientists parted and and aura of beaming light framed the form of the lovliest lab assistant you've ever seen, "yes, mr. janus, when do we get started?"
"what's your name, sugar?" asketh janus.
a timid voice responds, "taylor."
"taylor, that's the kinda attitude that wins! kid, i predict big things for you. if even one of these hapless 'scientists' had half the gumption you've just shown, the world would be at peace and everyone would be happy."
just then, you could feel the room's energy swell into a positive arc of potential. maybe it was the belt-whipping, perhaps it was taylor...and the beaker-busting had to've helped...whatever the case, an esprit de corps was forming among these numbskulls -- maybe we could make some magik after all.
"i like the feeling i'm gettin in here, boys...now, let's all huddle-up, take a knee and recite the Lord's Prayer."
"...for Thine is the Kingdom, The Power & The Glory forever! amen."
"alright, now, you boys cook me up a cure; for the time being i've gotta go smoke and conduct an experiment or two with young taylor...our muse and inspiration."
after a few hours i exploded back into the lab demanding results, "okay, pig-fuckers, show me some results!"
they all cast their gaze again to the tops of their shoes. very disappointing.
janus starts smashing pyrex shit all over the place, cussin up a storm, making nasty threats...the usual. i then rubbed my temples and in a resigned and frustrated tenor began, "no, no, no...none of this will do. i had one simple request when i left...one, just one!...and that was that somebody get me a cure for ebola. i didn't need every cure, just one; and that was it. i come back and you're all just whistlin dixie. gentlemen, do you understand what's going on here? this ebola wants to kill us, and we've gotta kill it first. do you hear the words that are coming outta my mouth?"
all of a sudden, a plucky young scientist announces, "i think i've got it! thank you janus, thank you for leading me to it."
"you're welcome, son. we'll name it 'taylor-made' in honor of our muse. now, get me my cure...and i expect to have it when i return!"
"you will, boss" says the young on-the-come scientist from cooter falls, kentucky.
long story short, the cure for ebola is tobacco...now, bitchez, talk some more shit about smokers...we'll be fortifying our defenses whilst you moralizing jack-asses shoot blood out your every orifice. i can't say you don't deserve it...serves you right. i think each and every one of you owe tobacco and smokers an apology.
and that's the story of how i saved the world...again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65_-vNtWLLs
now, i'm a fella with a heart of gold/
with the ways of a gentleman, i've been told/
the kinda fella that wouldn't even harm a flea,
janus
"
You made my morning. Thanks Janus.
Speaking of of car loans and banksters - DOJ investigating GM re:Sub Prime car loans bubbling up ... Reuters
If the 'investigation' is anything like the total lie of the, "Department of Justice" (there is no such thing as a DOJ since Robert Kennedy bloodily and quite suddenly left office, but so rarely, that it makes my chances of a hookup with Katie Upton look like a sure bet.
And under the inexpert, totally minority hiring driven tutelage and corruption of the next worst human lawman, (yes, 'man') Janet Reno, Attorney Corporal, Eric Holder, assures that GM gets another coupla billion to settle the claims.
This is known in the vernacular as fucking your willing sister. It may result in mutual satisfaction, but at the end of the day it's against the natural order, disgusting, and a violation of all non-biblical laws (except of course if you suffer from amnesia and your sister is Candace Swanepoel , also with no short term memory).
http://cdn2.maxim.com/maxim/sites/default/files/cp2014_candiceswanepoel_...
Ma, I just found out who stole Uncle Levine’s old jacket and watch.
He looks happy, like he just figured out how to short cars using loans backed and financed by the Fed.
my favorite apocalyptic scenario is the Goldman takeover of the Fed/Treasury complex. GS controls enough stock to deliberately short the market to zero, which would be net net for them but would bust the rest of the commonwealth, including the Fed. (first you set up the shorts then you hit the sell button on your long position and hold it down real hard for a long time) while potus and his fed homies dither about whether to raise interest rates a 1/4 point, some real serious players are ready to take over control of the worlds biggest economy, run by nerds and nitwits. (obama and yellen) nature abhores a vacuum
China purchasing FRB
http://philosophyofmetrics.com/2014/01/30/americas-karma-and-world-war-t...
http://philosophyofmetrics.com/2014/01/16/china-to-purchase-the-federal-...
" The new Federal Reserve will issue the U.S. foreign bonds in the form of SDR compositions. These bonds will be for international use only. The Trans Pacific Partnership will be the pipeline for these international SDR’s as they are spewed forth from the Federal Reserve. The allocation will be structured around the SDR basket compositions as I’m detailing in “SDR’s and the New Bretton Woods”.
"The internal U.S. dollar will be issued through the Treasury. Guess who will purchase these bonds? If you guessed your pension fund, then you’re on the right track. The timing of the MyRA announcement was not coincidental. Nothing is. – JC"
the two dollar plan is also highly likely. my plan would be an exchange rate between the hard dollar against investment dollars or electronic dollars (hard drive dollars) . it would place a premium on real money, and the exchange rate would make it evident to everyone how much notional or phantom dollars the fed had pumped into the system. its a real problem the fed hands out treasury bills instead of money to settle the BIS account, but in turn they are screwing the domestic market for these things. special treasury bonds for settlement of trade accounts smells to high heaven, and would probably hurt any other dollar they were trying to protect. and it would just set up some weird carry trade dynamic. but if they can cover their thieving tracks by making things more complicated that fits their MO. such gimmickery has a price, and if the new bills are readily accepted there is a great deal of embarrassment and cleaning up is difficult.
"dither about whether to raise interest rates a 1/4 point"
Alternative plot line: "...what do you mean selling stocks, is that even possible? I thought that was just urban legend...how do we test that hypothesis."
its possible to sell when you are fully hedged, or 100% short all your long positions. the two catalysts are the feds transfer of power to the big banks in 2008 and the feds own feckless, irresolute policies on economic recovery. fed treasury is weak and corrupt and they handed the power to goldman and jpm, its really a matter of when not if.
is it possible for the vacuum of space
to be saturated and full of energy?
Zero Hedge Office of Strategic Services
Simple Sabotage Field Manual or
How to Philosophize with a Hammer
Bohica Kermit!
THAT - is one for the Best of Bonzai
I loved my '70 Charger 500 with a Holley I rebuilt myself and 4-speed Hurst, 383 magnum...but the 7 mpg would be tough to take now.
Anyone notice the balloons spell "FIAT"? albeit in a slightly and purposefully misaligned manner.
Fix It Again Tony. Although not really. That Fiat 500 is neat
And, here I though all along that Lloyd was doing God's work.
But, instead he's selling used cars to muppets.
Deja Bro, Heckofajob Brownie, and Ichabod Chertoff.
Just OMG.
Goldman gives you a ride
To the Funeral Parlor
Oh Lloyd, won't you buy (sell) me a Mercedes Benz? My friends all drive Porsches I must make amends.
Selling short - I'll take the Grand Prix for $2250.00, Blank Meind.
In silver please...
Well at least prior to '65 all the coin was (mostly) silver. We used to joke about having 'no coin' which was our way of saying 'no date' on Friday night. You could collect those coins to your heart's content - and we did. The pre-liberty dime and standing liberty quarters, halves and silver dollars. If I only had held on to them.....I'd have, what, a dollar-two-ninety-eight by now.
As long as you are the one who recieves the silver WB. I guess we need an old bomb of a car around here in case we to have a WB7 demolition derby at some local county fair. Then we need to cheat like everyone else does and reinfarce[sic] the radiator with some rusty steel pipe and weld that in.
I would love to see the WB7 demolition derby car around at some of these county fairs. I think I would like to drive it too.:-)
I am trying to figure how to paint "Yes, we are assholes but so are you", on the trunk lid.
2250? I'll buy it now: cash. Yeah right. Look at how those cars had such style and class. My favorite is the 1965 GTO Tri-power. I just love that car and the way it looks. They made cars right back then and I am going to have accumulate one of those GTO's. I had a 69 Pontiac Tempest that I built up but I had to sell it to help my Mom out when I was younger. It was the same car internally but different sheet metal and a different engine package.(it still had a turbo 400 tranny though) Now I want my V8 back and it's gonna cost me.
There is just something about the sound of those old V8's that will never leave me. So simple to work on too. Now you need $10,000 worth of tools just to change the spark plugs and an electronic diagnositic meter to tell me that me that I need a new $1000 catalytic converter. Wrong, I need dual exhaust glass packed mufflers off Edelbrock manifolds and three carbs I can work on.
Manipuflation, Damn Straight! A friend and I were discussing this recently. Not just the muscle cars of days gone by, but nearly ALL production cars of the era. Of course the 57 Nomad is collectable, but so are the 150 Series wagon and the Sedan Delivery, both used by "Door to Door Salesmen"(remember those, World Book, Amway, Etc) but I digress, point is, from Corvair to Crown Vic, to the old trucks, all desired today.
How much of the crap Detroit has sent out in the last 30 or so years do you think Our kids will see roll across the Barrett-Jackson Auction Block??
Boattrash, you are spot on too. So I am not the only around here who watches Barret-Jackson.:-) Yeah, those 60's cars are just something to behold. I can understand why folks like other eras too but for me it is the 60's muscle.
You are right about the trucks, I need a C-10 for some reason. Actually, I don't need one but rather want one. I would not even care if it was aq two bolt main off the 350. Then there were those F-100s from the 50's with the curved rear windows. I am not a Ford guy but didn't some of those have a 351 Windsor in them?
The Mopar Cougar was pretty cool as well. Good old Dad will show how to do a proper burnout.
Minipulflation, Barrett-Jackson's some of the bst entertainment on the tube for me. Yes, I have a soft spot for the Old Muscle cars. (My first car, 64 Impalla SS Ragtop, No 409 though.
Love the C-10 (up to 1972) for sure. Have seen a couple w/400 CI. Sorry I can't answer the Ford question, did not have much "exposure" to them as dad would not allow one in the driveway. He is still sittin on a 63 Buick Riviera w/bb though. That thing was ahead of it's time.
Gonna check the burn-out. Thanks.
Yeah, the 400 C Chevy small block was one hell of an engine but you really find them. Even back in the day they were rare. No worries on the Ford question. Anytime you can get a thread started on gearhead stuff it is a good day. Thanks to WB7 for that.
I really want a Ratt motor. A 429, 427, 426 or even better, the 421 Pontiac. I think the Beach Boys made a song about the 409. I am pretty sure that the 421 will bolt up to the Turbo 400 tranny. I really don't need the rock chrusher Hurst shifter. I have kids and I don't need to drive that fast anymore.
All I want is for them to know how it feels to get put back in the seat when I hit the gas. There is really no way to describe it but when those dual four barrels open up there is nothing like it. I think I like the idea of a pair of at least two 1200 cfm Holley quads on an Edelbrock intake, Edelbrook headers, full race cam, solid lifters, Mallory electronic ignition, dual exhaust, Crager rims and BF Goodrich tires.(70's on rear)
I had my Pontiac Tempest up to around 150 MPH(?) and the front end started floating in the air so I had to let off but she had MOAR. The aerodynamics are not there for those types of vehicles. That was a 350 Pontiac with a Holley 750, Edelbrock intake and a Mallory electronic ignition and a 3/4 cam with spring lifters and welded dual exhaust.
I have no idea how fast that car could have went but I know that she could have outrun any cops back in those days when you could get away with doing that sort of thing.
Don't forget Mecum Auto Auction. (More for the less financially secure than Jackson.) So many times I wanted to pick up and go, but the missus says, "Retirement dear, retirement - too late to be investing in those 2-ton works of art." She's right, but man, they were beautiful.
Thanks for the Mecum tip. I don't know where y'all are located, but Petit Jean AR has yearly car show/swap meet. It's pretty common to run across some affordable muscle cars there, from daily drivers to builders to show quality.
Trash Boat
(Yeah it's that funny)
Just for sake of argument, I'm not sure if you guys remember - old cars used to rust, man. I mean really rust themselves apart. And if you had a GM car past 100,000 miles it was pretty unusual.
Come on, today's cars are way more reliable, more efficient, have less finicky maintenence and are drastically more survivable in a crash.
Seize, you're right, they DID rust. They were made of steel, go burn a late model camaro (or anything else) and see what's left. Plastic cars/parts won't be around in 50-60yr. UV rays will see to that.
Correct on the 100,000 or close, as 150,000 was not uncommon. And it was rebuildable, not disposable.
Reliability is in the eye of the beholder. As for those who only know how to twist the key and go, you're right. But anybody w/basic skills and a bit of know how, can ALWAYS make one run, that has carb, points, and coil. Cheaply and on roadside. With Computers and 247 sensors as in today's, not so much.
Efficient, yes and no. We took a 63 Chevy 9 passenger wagon (AR-CA) w/7people and luggage (Car topper) Avg over 20mpg for the entire trip. V8, Manual 3 spd w/overdrive. Pretty respectable. 50yr later what do we have that really beats that economy and by how much??
Finicky? hell, I can clean & adjust carb, time one by ear, file the points and go, easily and relatively cost free.
Survivability? I recently pulled an air bag out of my face from a deer-strike that didn't even bend a hood. (Granted, 24yr old car w/switch in core support: they're now back in the crumple zone) As a child, the family was hit hard enough to break the frame of a 57 Chev Wagon No injuries (no seat belts).
But we do have more creature comforts and gadgets now.
Seize, you are correct in many ways here but you must have lost your diagnostic connector so that you can find what your "Service Engine Soon" light means. Eight times ought of ten the code will make the startling revelation that is either a cylinder misfire or mass air flow sensor failure. In either case, it can fixed fairly easily.
Boat Crash was talking about the fact that those cars from back in the day were just beautiful cars. Cars today look like suppositories. Where are the spark plugs? Oh yeah, right there agsint the wheel wells where you can't get a wrench in six ways from Sunday.
If you really want to, I would be glad to have you over to fix on the o-ring issue that Mopar has regarding the fuel injection fuel rail. It looks like about a case of beer's worth of work and I have the 87 cent parts to fix it. You just have to love the Mopar 3.3 until you try to work on it. The Mopar 3.3 is a newer engine design supposedly re-engineered from a Mopar 318 but with two cyliders cut off. I am not so sure about that claim.
New cars suck hind tit. Old cars suck an ocean's worth of gas and can't drive by a gas station without stopping in to buy premium non-ethanol gas. And those old cars are part of history and nothing in the world sounds like those engines do when you fire one up. It is music to our ears.
"have less finicky maintenence"
Who do you know now that still has a timing light and can set point gaps? I still do both, but you are right. The advent of electronically controlled fuel injection has made it possible for every vehicle to easily last past 150K miles - even with only sporadic maintenance. The precise control of stochiometric ratios prevents excess fuel from washing the lubrication off of the cylinder walls.
OK, until your catalytic converter has an issue and/or one of your several O2 sensors that is sending a signal to your computer either makes things run too rich or too lean.
That 65' GTO with 3 deuces was a beast! My first car was a '67 GTO - wished I still had it. What a cruiser.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlbunmCbTBA
Television - Marquee Moon
.
I remember
Ooo how the darkness doubled
I recall
Lightning struck itself
I was listening
Listening to the rain
I was hearing
Hearing something else
Life in the hive puckered up my night,
A kiss of death, the embrace of life
Ooo there I stand neath the Marquee Moon,
Just waiting
I spoke to a man
Down at the tracks
And I ask him
How he don't go mad
He said 'Look here junior, don't you be so happy
And for Heaven's sake, don't you be so sad'
Life in the hive puckered up my night,
The kiss of death, the embrace of life
Ooo there I stand neath the Marquee Moon,
Hesitating
Well a Cadillac
It pulled out of the graveyard
Pulled up to me
All they said 'get in', get in
Then the Cadillac
It puttered back into the graveyard
Me, I got out again
Life in the hive puckered up my night,
A kiss of death, the embrace of life
Ooo there I stand neath the Marquee Moon,
I ain't waiting nuh ah
I remember
How the darkness doubled
I recall
Lightning struck itself
I was listening
Listening to the rain
I was hearing
Hearing something else
Visual combat strikes again ! Good one WB7.
".... new anti-Ebola filter as standard...." , "....Credit default /defraud swaps accepted here...." , "...throw in a full tank of ISIS gas with every purchase...", "... living the american dream [terms and conditions may apply]... "
Blank Feind
The second one needs the warning.
Selling boarding passes for the Titanic as well. All aboard!
<Don't do it Kermit. Look away from the light scumbag.>