• Monetary Metals
    05/02/2016 - 01:28
    The price of gold shot up this week, and silver moved proportionally. Headlines are screaming for gold to hit $10,000 or $50,000. Does this alleged new bull market have legs?

Is This Why Stocks Are Lower?

Tyler Durden's picture


A week ago, when the market opened red and rallied all day we asked whether the reason for the latest reversion was due to the most recent overnight note from everyone's favorite coincident momentum indicator, Dennis Gartman, who said that "later today we’ll be reducing our long positions modestly and/or increasing our derivatives positions also, to take us very, very close to market neutral, and indeed we may find ourselves erring even ever-so-slightly negatively of shares if the conditions warrant."

Today, despite the strongest Service ISM in 9 years, stocks appear unable to catch a bid. Like last week, we wonder if the reason is the latest philosophical flip-flop from the bearded CNBC contributor, to wit:

We tried not to equivocate too materially yesterday but we hoped we had made it clear that it was our intent to move off of the centre point of neutrality to something a bit more bullishly inclined. We remain long of aluminium, with what were and still are out-of-the-money calls written against our aluminium company’s shares and we hope to see those calls expire worthless as the main aluminium producer in the US makes its way quietly toward the next obvious strike price to the upside. We did, however, as noted, buy back a goodly portion of the fracking related master limited partnership that we sold mid-week last week as we turned neutral of equities generally, having bought some on Friday amidst the panic liquidation. This trade has proven to be rather worthwhile with the shares rising more than 5% yesterday.


We’ll err bullishly then, albeit not aggressively so. Rather, as we’ve been in the past, we are “pleasantly” bullish and look to add to our positions as the lows last week are tested and prove to hold.

Indicatively, this is a sample of how virtual money should be invested to generate virtual returns, as recommended by D-Gart.

  • Long of Seven Units of Gold/short of Two Units of the Yen and Five of the EUR
  • Long of Three Units of new crop Hard Red Winter wheat/and short of Three Units of New Crop Corn
  • Long of the four units of “dollars” and one Unit of Sterling/short of five units of the Yen
  • Short of One unit of WTI and One Unit of Brent crude

And so on.

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Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:21 | 5048944 PlusTic
PlusTic's picture

If ever there was a candidate for suicide...

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:32 | 5049002 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

"OUR positions"?

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:36 | 5049017 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Gee, that is about the most equivocating statement I have read in a long (or maybe short) while.

It was “rather worthwhile”, or not depending upon whether the author’s next task was writing a horoscope column.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:44 | 5049107 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Great Cartman quote:

"Ive learned something, too: selling out is sweet because when you sell out, you get to make a lot of money, and when you have money, you dont have to hang out with a bunch of poor asses like you guys. Screw you guys, Im going home."


Gartman? Dennis Gartman you say? I thought you meant Cartman...  Is there a difference, really???

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:50 | 5049135 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

SCrEW you guys.....I'm a goin home.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 13:29 | 5049708 Four chan
Four chan's picture

he trades zero units, what a fraud.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 14:48 | 5050306 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

must be tough gauging the "red winter wheat crop" in Nebraska every day then flying back for your $500 CNBS expert appearance... tell us how you do it?

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 13:40 | 5049786 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

Our position is bent oer with cheeks spread.....

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:34 | 5049028 SWCroaker
SWCroaker's picture

Most who do that have either a) brains, b) a conscious, or c) an awareness that they'd really hosed up.     Dennis is 0 for 3.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:51 | 5049152 PartysOver
PartysOver's picture

Please, Dear Lord, don't.   Embrace the Leading Indicator.   He has made me money!!!!!!

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:24 | 5048960 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

These fuckers like Fartman write newletters just to pontificate. They don't stay on a trade long enough to make any "money". I don't know how they keep their friends and families as clients.



Edit: Thank you Tyler for taking down the spambot.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:30 | 5048995 Grande Tetons
Grande Tetons's picture

Second that. 

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:34 | 5049032 toady
toady's picture

Agreed on both, but especially the spambot. I was getting tired of trying different adblock apps that don't work.

This morning I was even thinking about going elsewhere for news.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:37 | 5049055 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

My sister in law, working from home, gets paid thousands of dollars each week, just for reading various news websites.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 15:07 | 5050452 Bemused Observer
Bemused Observer's picture

I'm a little worried about his sister though. I hope she's ok...

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:30 | 5049003 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Amen.  I caught that, too.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 14:51 | 5050339 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

some guy on CNBS with a "i'm too old for this prison pussy/goatee" ...."but I found this cool tie at Kmart" is gonna tell us all how to trade commodities, LOL

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:26 | 5048968 power steering
power steering's picture



Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:33 | 5049020 NidStyles
NidStyles's picture

Here's to wishful thinking of it restricting itself to Wall Street and K Street....

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:38 | 5049051 toady
toady's picture

It might. You know there's a LOT of bodily fluid swapping going on between K street & wall street.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:29 | 5048983 Magooo
Magooo's picture

Seen hanging over the door way to Dennis Gartman's House:


I AM ALWAYS WRONG - THEREFORE I EXIST (translated from Latin from his coat of arms)

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:30 | 5048996 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Here's some good news- our favorite robo-spammer originally had the top-kick post in this thread (you know, I earn $9500/mo. working 12 hours a week from home, etc, etc.)

I hit refresh a minute later after a few people had told him to get lost and.... his post was gone.  Thanks to the Tylers for making the effort to clean this place up a little.

In other news.... Dennis Gartman can suck my left nut.  He tries to act like the wise old voice of reason, telling everyone to calm down (and buy stocks).  Meanwhile, nobody's listening to him, least of all the stock market.  He should get a sandwich board, write "buy stocks, be pleasantly long" on it and panhandle for spare change on a Detroit street corner.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:40 | 5049071 Da Yooper
Da Yooper's picture



Great post




Also thanks Tylers for doing the house cleaning

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:53 | 5049159 potato
potato's picture

$9500/mo. working 12 hours a week from home watching the pr0ns 

to apply, visit sec.gov/apply today!

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:54 | 5049174 edifice
edifice's picture

Now, if the Tylers can manage to get rid of the full-page Emirates ad, I'd be happy. Really, it's ridiculous; you have enough ads on your site.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 13:31 | 5049725 Four chan
Four chan's picture

it forces you to use the free and highly effectve "ad block" on your computers.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 13:43 | 5049810 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

Noscript comes in handy too.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:54 | 5049180 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

His job isn't to be listened to, as much as it is to fill the air with the same false narrative as his peers, generating "public consensus."

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:39 | 5048998 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

This guy just won't quit....
Can I get a witness?

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:31 | 5049001 Breezy47
Breezy47's picture

Do the opposite of what ever this asshole says...

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:31 | 5049005 Keltner Channel Surf
Keltner Channel Surf's picture

The Russell's not lower, in fact it's up nearly .50 %.  Though an obvious squeeze, something has to give, either the broader market comes back, or R2K rolls over, or at least flounders a bit, no?

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 12:59 | 5049546 Keltner Channel Surf
Keltner Channel Surf's picture

Turns out the Russell did turn down, but as of 1:00 is near Unch., very weird trading day, looks like battling algos plus news tickers, think I'll take my breakeven to lunch and come back tomorrow.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:33 | 5049019 youngman
youngman's picture

The fact that the TV shows still ask for his opinion is amazing to me....

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:36 | 5049038 SWCroaker
SWCroaker's picture

I thought he paid for appearance time.              Seriously.     Don't *most* guests on babbleVision pay?

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:44 | 5049102 toady
toady's picture

Correct. Maybe if someone made the correct call two or three times in a row they'd have them on for free, but everyone else pays.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:40 | 5049076 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Let me try this one.  It's August.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 12:00 | 5049216 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

You are the only one who's got it totally right.  It may as well not exist in the long run ( a long run being defined as 90 days).

Only the robots are exchanging vital bodily fluids the dog days of summer. 

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 12:46 | 5049280 Emergency Ward
Emergency Ward's picture

Well count, I could have said something like, "I tried not to equivocate too materially yesterday blah blah blah..."

But I didn't and I won't.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:42 | 5049094 oudinot
oudinot's picture

A Polish guy used to work for me.  An intelligent guy and had a good nose for mining properties. However, he was the worst trader ever.  And, at the end of the month, he would always be short cash (had to pay up his margin account)and I would give him an "advance".  This really troubled me.

But then I had an epiphany:  the guy, John, had the same broker as I did.  So I called the broker and told him to match all the trades John did.  I would take the other side in all his trades. In a year or so  he made 13 trades, mostly long one or two shorts. I made money on every trade but one.  And , in the trade I lost money on, if you deducted the brokerage cost , I made money.

So, don't be too hard on Gartman.  He's ugly, complex for no reason, bad dresser, horrible trader-but he's a perfect counter intuitive signal!!!

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:52 | 5049157 toady
toady's picture

Good stuff. Years ago my boss and my bosses boss decided they would bet the dotcom bubble. They each put in 10K and started buying Oracle, Microsoft, etc., but they never stuck with a stock. Next thing you know, they lost it all on fees jumping back and forth between stocks a dozen times a day.

So glad I didn't go in with them!

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:59 | 5049208 Comte d'herblay
Comte d'herblay's picture

We should all be so lucky as to have a 90% wrong trader tell us his history.  

It's like being given Inside Information that is better than inside information, with no felony committed. 

You  should kick back to him, say, 10% of your winning $$, and continue to buy him beers, and chips and Pierogis. 

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:51 | 5049143 TabakLover
TabakLover's picture

As bad as what Gartman says.......is the way he says it.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 15:07 | 5050457 DrDinkus
DrDinkus's picture

My friends, it should not surprise us, nor does it, to see our bullish equity call fly in our face...but rather, we enjoy it, for as an old friend, in the markets, likes to say, 'be wrong early, and often'. 


I feel dumber having written that. 

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:53 | 5049162 FranSix
FranSix's picture


Mount Polley Tailings Breach, Imperial Metals stock down


Hindenberg Omen:


Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:56 | 5049164 Squid Viscous
Squid Viscous's picture

The Shakespeare of CNBS speaketh...


PS - you know it's gonna be bad when the verb in his last quoted sentence is "err"

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 11:55 | 5049183 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Cartman is good contrary indicator.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 12:00 | 5049214 ilikepies
ilikepies's picture

Long copper bitchez. I stand before you naked cupping my ballsack in one hand and the other clasped around my 9 iron pointed at god with a thunderstorm rolling in . Im telling the truth please ,

Buy my newsletter..



Tue, 08/05/2014 - 12:29 | 5049341 Eyeroller
Eyeroller's picture

FARTMAN:   the reverse indicator.

If ANYTHING can prevent these markets from correcting, it's FARTMAN saying the long-dreaded correction is here.

If ANYTHING can prevent these markets from rallying, it's FARTMAN saying all is well.

Tue, 08/05/2014 - 13:14 | 5049633 LoneStarHog
LoneStarHog's picture

If Dennis spoke like this in school he must have had the crap beat out of him on a daily basis and accounts for his damaged brain.

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