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Unintentional Headline Humor Du Jour

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Presented without comment.

Courtesy of Reuters

 

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Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:21 | 5058333 Renfield
Renfield's picture

Bullshittish! (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:35 | 5058413 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

So... they're saying we still haven't "gotten the horns" yet?

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:39 | 5058440 Latina Lover
Latina Lover's picture

Freudian slip, LOL.

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 10:04 | 5058564 nink
nink's picture

at least they can say we were warned

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 10:24 | 5058683 IANAE
IANAE's picture

...couldn't get the original headline past the editorial staff so they abbreviated it.

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:39 | 5058442 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Damn, this is a slow news day.  I'm falling asleep.  I need more cowbell, Tylers.

How about a little something about Walgreens tax inversion to Switzerland being nixed by the President (and Durbin) who threatened them with an ENDLESS audit if they tried it?  Shares promptly fell about 15%.  Macke had a decent rant about it:

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/walgreens-becomes-government-whipping-boy-...

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:57 | 5058531 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

"How about a little something about Walgreens tax inversion to Switzerland being nixed by the President (and Durbin) who threatened them with an ENDLESS audit if they tried it?"

REPEAL FATCA

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:41 | 5058454 Mr Pink
Mr Pink's picture

Just when you thought people couldn't get any stupider

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/08/06/grand-canyon-investigating-squirrel...

PETA is offering a $17000 reward to anyone who finds this guy

Apparently no one at PETA or anyone in the mainstream media understands basic physics.

Perhaps someone should explain to these mental midgets that a squirrel has a survivable terminal velocity.

It isn't going to take 500 years for Idiocracy to get here

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:21 | 5058338 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

It's all bullshit.  So pick of level of bullshit you are comfortable with and stick to it.

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 10:36 | 5058748 boattrash
boattrash's picture

I gave up on the BullShit during the ENRON fiasco.

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:23 | 5058348 himaroid
himaroid's picture

OLE!

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:23 | 5058353 Eyeroller
Eyeroller's picture

Misprint.  Should read "Don't give up on the bullshit."

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:24 | 5058355 Boston
Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:37 | 5058356 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

There's so much bullshit going on these days that I gave up on it all long ago..... carry on bitchez!

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:27 | 5058368 my_nym
my_nym's picture

"The bigger the bull, the bigger the market for bull."  --Karl Kraus

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:29 | 5058376 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

Paging Journey, Journey...

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:32 | 5058400 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I was thinking maybe David Soul- "Don't give up on us, baby"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YY8APrYU2Gs

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:36 | 5058415 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

He out-breaded Bread with that one.

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:38 | 5058434 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

LOL, ain't that the truth.

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:38 | 5058433 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I was thinking Peter Gabriel.

Oh, and damn you for making me remember that song! Damn you to Heck!

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:29 | 5058381 Bryan
Bryan's picture

I hear bull testicles are a tasty treat.

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 13:25 | 5059799 KnuckleDragger-X
KnuckleDragger-X's picture

Yep, breaded and fried in lard...

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:31 | 5058392 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Hey, Snowden got a 3 year Russian resident permit!

"Don't give up on the bull" right below a picture of a human trader on a land line phone.  That juxtaposition is Priceless.  I'm certain he is looking after Mom's money.

Chipotle and Tesla looking like buys here.

Is Dennis Gartman on CNBC today?

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:39 | 5058443 d edwards
d edwards's picture

BTFD!

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:43 | 5058468 IronShield
IronShield's picture

How many times do you have to be told!

Market goes up, make money.

Market goes down, make money.

Who gives a $hit what it does as long as you're on the right side!?  Simple as that.

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 09:59 | 5058544 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

"Keep calm and carry on" doesn't apply to the USA

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 10:03 | 5058561 Took Red Pill
Took Red Pill's picture

Russian bear will take down this bull

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 10:34 | 5058737 CHX
CHX's picture

Durchhalteparolen ? 

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 10:47 | 5058803 Funny Money
Funny Money's picture

The funniest part is how much the market keeps going up while ZH constantly cheers for a crash.  Maybe someday you'll be right.  Keep the faith!

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 11:18 | 5058971 your_moms_basement
your_moms_basement's picture

End of QE1 saw the markets pull back –10%, end of QE2 was –13%, so far the DJIA is flat for the year, setting up for almost a carbon copy of the previous two tapers.  With QE3 ending in Oct and IR hikes next year how could someone blindly think that this time is going to be different?

In the run up to dot com I heard similar nonsesne "buy, buy, buy" right up until the splat, same with housing.  Groupthink at it's finest.  

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 11:46 | 5059131 Funny Money
Funny Money's picture

If it's not going to be different this time, what makes you think they'll stop printing?  Make up your mind.

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 12:10 | 5059261 your_moms_basement
your_moms_basement's picture

QE3 is set to stop in October, doesn't mean that it's going to stick as evidenced by the previous two attempts.  My mind was made up on betting against the Fed ever since Greenspan.  You seem to be comfotable being shown the cliff every few years, but hey, that's your perogotive.     

Not much creidibily there just based on your opening comment, check the ticker lately?   

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 12:19 | 5059319 jmc8888
jmc8888's picture

Following the British is how we got here.  So I'll decide against following their sayings to distract from reality with sophistry.

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